INFP and "the holy moment" - why you are the life of the party.

[brittany3223star]

I love your videos! Its so refreshing to listen to someone with such a great understanding of human emotion and your ability to articulate many of the INFP characteristics in the most eloquent terms and analogies you put forward :) You seem like such a genuinely compassionate person... so lovely! haha, please keep up the wonderful work - on behalf of INFPs everywhere!

[jbradnidom]

I love your videos! I am an INTJ and I adore my INFP friends. :D Yes, introverts can be extraverted from time to time.

Sense of dreams, awww.

[metasoap]

You rock! :)

[HoLyGamingVideos]

Thanks for this video, I am an infp, and this year I finally got into the water, for the past like 6 years or so I had just been staring at the water wondering why I wasn't in it, realizing I had to force myself to get in it, since life is boring if you don't take risks =3. I have gotten alot more depressed this year though, I think it's because I always end up feeling inadequate after socializing, I just need to become more adept at it =D. Thanks again though!

[MsPonderingLife]

Your video is one of a few that has inspired me to start my own channel. :) I can relate to a lot of what you've said. I love your shell analogy. I think the part that struck me the most was that we're sociable but at the same time get a bit drained by that social aspect. We can wear the different hats as needed. I wonder though, is that need to 'wear different hats' a flaw in itself that we need to work on? Or simply a way we've managed to adapt in order to not stick out unnecessarily?

[aamericuslakota]

I do the exact same thing. Wearing the 'hat' of an E, and everyone thinks you're an E, and then when I get home I just crash for days because I'm so exhausted from the interaction. I tend to get to the core of people very quickly as well, and help people through their issues. I'd never hate my 'I' though the way some others do. It helps me so much in my life. I love when people are real with me, the hardest people for me to deal with are those that seem absolutely false in every way.

[jesswant2watch]

@jesswant2watch "But if you really learn how to pay attention, then you will know there are other options. It will actually be within your power to experience a crowded, hot, slow, consumer-hell type situation as not only meaningful, but sacred, on fire with the same force that made the stars: love, fellowship, the mystical oneness of all things deep down."

[jesswant2watch]

Thank you so much for posting this! I really like your tidal wave analogy. I used to have dreams about tidal waves and the same thing would always happen once they crashed: nothing. I never understood what it meant until now, so thank you! And yes, as an INFP I LIVE for those holy moments. There is a really great David Foster Wallace quote (oh god, do I sound pretentious enough?) from his commencement speech about paying attention and finding those moments. 

[jesswant2watch]

Thank you so much for posting this! I really like your tidal wave analogy. I used to have dreams about tidal waves and the same thing would always happen once they crashed: nothing. I never understood what it meant until now, so thank you! And yes, as an INFP I LIVE for those holy moments. There is a really great David Foster Wallace quote (oh god, do I sound pretentious enough?) from his commencement speech about paying attention and finding those moments.

[stellarshore]

I think its based on context. Iv found myself in company where introversion is forgotten. But there are some contexts where Id actually rather just gladly stand away and look ominous. Similarly Iv seen extroverts fall into themselves in the company of 2 or more somewhat introverted people.

[lovkpop]

You are so good at this!

[magalystamales]

i have holy moments!!! YEAH INFPs When i walk into a room i tend to pick up on peoples vibe or if someone walks into a room im also able to pick it up.

[magalystamales]

i have holy moments!!! YEAH INFPs

[BeAsTm0aD]

Those "shells" help us build a "collection" of confidence and of course a collection is never finished so we have to continue to collect so our soul can be sustained in itself. Once we have enough shells we can understand how to easily collect more :)

[24682269]

Thank you for your Shell analogy. I've noticed people open up to me frequently, and at first I didn't know how to handle it. I realized that those moments are what makes me feel so useful. It becomes more than just a conversation because that person is able to walk away with insight they would otherwise struggle to gain.

[OdeToNecrophilia]

i dont like fake shallow people. i ignore them, unless i like them. which sucks.

[Saebylla]

I LOVE YOU! you're very thoughtful and articulate yourself so gracefully. I relate to your videos I wish I stumbled upon them earlier.

[sibowittz2]

This is so true! I love it when people open up to me, and I listen just really listen to what they have to say. It truly is a gift, and I feel so useful and amenable when others trust me with their secrets . I have so come across other people who tell me they are not into being empathetic towards people's genuine human stories about what happened to them, which could be very important to them. It does make me lose respect for someone who reacts in such a fallow way.

[villamorable]

Wow I really like you! lol. You are articulating everything that I have feet and experience but don't know how to put into words. I'm especially impressed that you sensed the guilt and shame in the guy. I am an INFP as well. If that were me, I'm almost sure I would have detected that something was wrong with him but I would not have been able to specifically identify the "guilt" and "shame". I was have just pondered in my heart "hmm....this guy is hurting. what is he feeling exactly??"

[SummerRain101]

You're so cute Patty :)

[AmorBravo]

Loved the song choice here and the topics. You seem genuine.

[clairebear125432]

you have the best music in your videos!

[blahbiddyblah1]

I love that: "holy moment". The phrase describes my favorite things in life. Thanks for posting, you've brought a little more light to my day :)

[donbear1983]

I took several tests and they say i'm an infp. so i'm new to this. But u said your friend was a "level 5" introvert. What does that mean?

[bigbufobufo]

i really enjoyed this video. the analogy about shells and the ocean was very poetic. i have been trying to figure out my mbti type for a while. none of them seem to fit quiet right. i am part infj, part infp and part intp. perhaps because i am a guy, society tells me to be restrained with my emotions. but at the core, the human experience is what makes life meaningful to me so i would say F is more natural to me than T.

[infpatty]

@bigbufobufo big, i might recommend reading into jungian cognitive types a bit more and seeing what sounds closest to you. In the end the designation isn't so important so much as understanding how that might affect your relations with others.

[OneMove33]

@bigbufobufo sounds similar to me but ive only done it twice it came up with infp and intp...experiences are transitory though and don't last we might as well asphyxiate ourselves with nitrous oxide, for a laugh of course, either nirvana or oblivion...sounds good either way.

[jesswant2watch]

@bigbufobufo I initially tested as an INFJ in high school. Re-tested during college as an INFP, and after college as an INTP. So I see where you're coming from. I definitely feel INFP is my "true" personality as F is very strong for me. T is my "learned" personality.

[brackenck]

This was awesome! Have you read "Introvert Power" - - Fabulous book!! Your ocean analogy was awesome too!!

[infpatty]

@brackenck i have not read this book but will surely look into it! thanks for the rec :)

[Steinikr]

I might write to you some day, I could really learn a thing or two from you.

[infpatty]

@Steinikr you're always welcome to :)

[CleverDjembe]

I love your tidal wave analogy! Yeah, hmmm.... I can totally imagine the social situation being like a wave that washes over me, and let me tell you; when the water is warm, it feels gooooood, but then again.... you drown sometimes, but the good thing is, you have infinite lives :D

[jumpingjoy20]

:) I love these videos! Thanks so much for sharing these things.

I totally know what you mean by a "holy moment". I guess sometimes I know I struggle with getting so wrapped up with another persons issues (I had a pretty hard situation with an INFJ) I don't know where I end and they begin and that can blow up into a very profane so thats definetly something to watch out for...theres quite a responsibility with this ability thats for sure. :/

[mariabard]

Great video, and advice. Thanks for reminding me about the shells. I've become a bit of a hermit over the last few years - and you've reminded me why I should get out more and connect with different people. Thanks Patty.

[infpatty]

@mariabard remember that there is nothing wrong with maintaining and building our own social supports. i'm glad you're moving towards the water again. thanks for watching, as always.

[kellann55]

I'm totally cool with my core people. Husband, and some old friends I've had for years. I can totally be "myself" and become almost ENFP. Still weird, and a bit eccentric, but I think they appreciate that as "part of my charm" lol.

[rosesofsunshine3]

Your sincerity in caring about others really shines through and is quite inspiring:)

Btw, do you have a suggestion for valid Enneagram online testes? I tried to take a few ones but I don't think they were very reliable because I kept on getting different results on the same ones and across different ones too!

[xsnutube]

love the ocean analogy...introverts can start walking on water like jesus ;) while facilitating the cleansing of heavy burdens people often carry inside. its socially acceptable to pretend nothing's wrong bc you're afraid to failpwn the party but this was a really positive video which affirmed that we are capable of truly bringing people out of their shells with empathy & understanding.

[infpatty]

::suppresses urge to bearhug::  :)

[infpatty]

some of my best moments have been with INTJ's. In fact they usually like me (they think i'm sweet.. even if a bit doughy in the head :) but perhaps because the INTJ i am friends with is very in touch with what she is feeling and is very self-aware; she's a type 4 if you can believe that!

[infpatty]

ISTJ i know in real life is very balanced in her functions so she is not an extreme stereotype. in fact, she appreciates me because i get her excited about projects and helps me see things very objectively. but i am mindful that she thinks actions speak louder than words. and that's easier in a lot of ways (showing up on time, following through with commitments etc). it's easy to establish trust, but it's just a different language :)

[infpatty]

@damienvargas interesting; i've actually never heard of gary chapman's 5 languages of love before. for me it's actually verbal affirmation, quality time spent, AND touch. i definitely can't get enough of those! :)

[josephpeterelijah]

Awesome videos!! My name is Joann and I am an INFP also. It is so neat that you have a site up about it. It can be lonely being so "deep" in a world that feels really superficial. You have a great outlook. I definitely need to change my outlook to more positive. i am kind of like an INFP gone wrong but am working on it :-)

[infpatty]

hello joann; i'm very pleased to hear that you are finding some use from these videos. to infps, truth is everything right? so once our truth becomes positive and constructive, that's when we become of more use to the world AND to ourselves. also, please don't associate yourself with anything "wrong" - take the time to truly recognize your strengths as well as your weaknesses. this is the key to self-acceptance.

[infpatty]

self acceptance is when you stop comparing yourself to others and give your special abilities the recognition they deserve. and in moments of doubt, you always maintain the belief that you ARE good enough. :)

[liluoo1]

eh this is one of my major doubts... even when I accept myself, the culture doesnt really accept the people of my profile... no matter I can have few or more than few friends who like me, it's always that feeling of being not culturaly accepted.

[josephpeterelijah]

thanks :-) you are so right!

[liluoo1]

Also, question for some of future vids; do you often feel misunderstood by the world? I mean ESXJ world doesnt really get INFPs

[infpatty]

@liluoo1 i dont think i'll make a video about being misunderstood but i have been there many times before. however, i can say objectively that if i was misunderstood by someone who was an extrovert it's really not my issue in the end. unfortunately i can't always explain to people flat out that they're draining me and that "i need to be alone in my shell now so thanks goodbye!" so i do my best to make the actual interaction as warm and favorable as possible.

[liluoo1]

oh by misunderstood i didnt mean about introversion, i meant in general, about NFP part.. or INFP all together. Being so deep, abstract, etc... culture is so different.

[infpatty]

@liluoo1 and really, that's all you can do in my opinion - especially with people you don't know too well.

[holdenc96]

@liluoo1 My younger sister is an ESTJ. I mean, super-headstrong, give-you-nightmares ESTJ. And I'm one of those coddling write-a-poem-about-it INFPs. But we have tremendous respect for each other and the other's perspectives and insights. (I learned list-writing from her!) I think mature ESTJs aren't the harbingers of evil people make them out to be.

[liluoo1]

also if you do the interviews with ENFs, I'd really like to hear what's their goal in approaching people. Ex. you clearly said INFPs essence; to make harmony within people and between people, get to the deeper issues and find meaning. I wonder how ENFs approach such topic, ENFPs are much less clear about their goals actually, for example, how much deep feelings and meanings are part of them.

[liluoo1]

I think the "hats>" argument only surves purpose that Introversion is handicap in many situations. :/

I don't see extraverts that often in a situation where they have to put introverted "hat" on.

Anyway, I am hoping for ENFJ/INFP and ENFP/INFP interview, and if you can comment on Socionics; are you socionics INFp or INFj?

[infpatty]

@liluoo1 once again, the "hats" are a way to get closer to people. if i thought introversion was a handicap in social situations, i would try to wear the hat the entire time, wouldn't you say?

[liluoo1]

i dont think "introversion being handicap" is something You, as infpatty (or me), thinks. It's simply IS. The culture is set like that etc.

Wearing hat would be draining entire time, and besides that I didn't mean you think it's handicap... It's perfectly sane to think INFP is best you can be...

anyway.. if you need to be different to be closer to people... that means that *different* whatever that is is in that cases prefered. E is in 95% situation prefered. it's a fact.

[infpatty]

@liluoo1 the ENFJ/ INFP is being worked on (by the ENFJ in question) but she has been rather busy and tied up lately. but it is still coming :) my best friend is ENFP but she is resistant to mbti... maybe if i bribe her with chocolates, she'll come around.

[holdenc96]

I like what you said about the "hats." I find that I do that a lot when I find that I can't communicate with people. I have a very strong ISTJ friend, and in the early years of our friendship, we always were talking past each other, and one day I just decided to engage him as he understands things--ISTJ "hat"--and I found that he appreciated my INFP aspects a lot more. I do the "hat" thing a lot with strong XSTXs.