My gosh! I'm gone for a few days and now, see I've missed a juicy drama.Since you and terry are both in my subscriptions, I get the new ones I've missed at log in.While hoppimg around and catching the video responses sometime in reverse order, it finally dawns on me, it's a friggin' soap opera!Does it really apply to real life? That's why I don't do anything except poetry. It's from the past.
Hello, Fay! Glad you're catching up with the drama between Terry and I. Like all soap operas, we are sometimes on here twice a day ... at least! Haha!
I think poety is real life too, Fay, or a refection of our experiences. Wouldn't you agree?
Whatever Terry and I are doing (and I am not sure either of us knows what it is yet), please be assured I think we know we want to steer this soap opera towards a happy ending.
PS - I thought that most of the video communication on YouTube was not one to one but open. You two in this exchange is the first one to one I've come across via video, and I find that very interesting. My thought is - surely by broadcasting publicly you are more than broadcasting one to one. But there is a strange/unexpected one to oneness going on here in your exchange. Surely if you wanted one to one communication you would communicate via MSN or Stickam or something. Just my inital take.
Debating "live" on Stickam or MSN does not work for me. I prefer video because it allows me to follow a train of thought for up to ten minutes without interuption.
In his original video, Terry said he wanted a meaningful discussion; so do I. This is a debate; using MSN or Stickam could turn it into chat.
I did not say it should not. I just said I found it interesting that such a conversation was going on - and also I meant to say if I did not already that I find it interesting to see a two person conversation in action. I assumed (rightly or wrongly) that you both broadcasted publicly because you did not mind others seeing or even joining in. I did not consider that it might have been an oversight of yours that you broadcasted publicly.
Easily done. I often do it - especially when I'm feeling defensive and under attack. I'm only just learning - far too late in my opinion - that sometimes in my life some people were not attacking me nor trying to undermine or manipulate me. Although other times some people were attacking me, etc. Our (from my experience) bad life experiences can cause us to see much attack that is not attack.
I wasn't thinking of unsubscribing. I came to this conversation because I'm subscribed to Terry, probably to Terry because I was subscribed to Taylor. I found the communication you had going very interesting and also informative - that's why I view all the stuff I view.
Then the debate, even this early on, has gained me (at least) one new subscriber. Thank you. I agree with you, it is important to see both sides of the story.
I would like to finish my "debate" with you now; I have another debate going on that I am missing out on! :)
Your comments have been valuable. I may explore your channel in more depth soon; when I have more time.
Interesting what you say about us on YouTube and in life wanting to "play with each other". BTW, my first thought on Terry is that he likes/prefers to communicate by video rather than by written form on YouTube. So unlike most of us who seem to prefer by written form on YouTube he seems to much prefer videoing. Vince, what if Terry wants to speak to you both? Or more than just you both?
Firstly, I also prefer the video debate. The comments below are points of clarification only, to clear-up any misunderstandings (such as the relevence of the "Taylor video").
Also, Terry is in the US; I am in the UK. We many use the same words differently, according to our culture.
"So far, a third person in the debate has not been mentioned. So I am working on the assumption of Terry's initial invitation."
I'm trying to find the words here... Vince, am I right in thinking you feel frustrated when Terry seeks other friends? Surely he is still your friend but he also wants Taylor as a friend. This seems a very human thing familiar to me when one person feels left out.
Anywaqy, I find that many English (for some reason I want to write English with a lower case e) people have trouble understanding each other English people (nothing to do with accents either) - misinterpretation, unclear expression, etc.
Ask, my friend. How appropriate your real name is. Truly. I was falling-out with you and was not going to respond to this comment. I want us to be friends, so I have changed my mind.
You are right. Of course, I understand what Terry is saying. But I think my problem is that I have not yet heard his message. Does that make sense?
If it does, then you are brilliant! You gave me that thought and I know it will be useful when Terry and I talk further.
Let me tell you my grounds for knowing what I am talking about.
For ten years, until 1991, I worked with a discipline called Transactional Analysis. It is a form of cognitive behaviour therapy. The first eight years were as a client; the last two were as a counsellor (British Association of Councelling approved).
For my own reasons, I left that occupation and moved onto something else. Much as I am doing now.
Not only do I want to "hear" Terry. I want to "see" Terry. So video is best.
Hi, Vince, I've heard of TA. I read a three books on it - one by Eric Bern - "Games people play" (name spelling might be wrong) and the first two (if there are any more I don't know) in the "I'm Ok, you..." series. I did not stick with it because there did not seem any therapist familiar with it here in England in 1998/1999. I did though find it quite brilliant at the time. This makes me consider re-reading those books. But as you say, an experty therapist trained in TA will be required.
I'm coming to realise my therapist was way ahead of his time. He often referred to "I'm okay ... You're okay".
I don't know what's happened to him. I searched for him before the days of the internet. I may be more successful now I'm "online"; it's only been six months now.
Clearly you know a lot more about TA than me. I like the PAC of TA but I could never quite work out if I was parent domenanted, child dominated or a mixture of both. Anyway there was contamination there. Still I found/find TA a very useful model so different from others and wonderfully secular method.
My therapist/trainer used the Parent Adult Child model more than anything else.
I may find it's worth revisiting it again.
And, I wouldn't say I know a lot more about TA. But I will accept I may know a little more.
But, what I do know is about 15 years old now. The rest of my personal development is down purely to life experience and just "watching" how other people behave.
And none of us need training for that, don't you think? It's just fun to do it! :)
"Ask, my friend. How appropriate your real name is. Truly. I was falling-out with you and was not going to respond to this comment. I want us to be friends, so I have changed my mind."
I'm so used to people ridiculing I considered you statment might have been tongue in cheek here. I only realised latterly that you are most sincere in this. Thank you. If I helped I'm glad. I did not want to impose or interfere. I thought we were in a fall out btw was not certain.
Is it that you know now you have someone in Terry you just sense you can continue to get a lot from via discourse? I think this is definitely so. :-) I'm glad we did not fall out. Interesting why we might have fallen out though isn't it? I've been on both sides of falling out in such exchanges and unlike you here, very often I stuck to my guns defensively (countering attacking and dismissing others). Result was that I further entrenched myself in my own thinking. I also lost friends.
It is sad you have lost friends, Ask. Me, too. For very similar reasons.
I think that's why we are becoming friends. Maybe we were both reading "between the lines" in our comments. Maybe we recognised something of ourselves in each other.
Well I didn't know this was a feature you and Terry both - prefering to communicate with videos. I prefer on Youtube to quickly communicate by writing. I was just wondering if Terry, rather than writing a comment to a Taylor video miight just prefer to reply via video. You might then make a bigger thing about it than is really so. Or maybe Terry likes many conversations going on at once, so as not to be left with none if he just had one video conversation going at any one time.
PS - I mean, is it possible that Terry likes to have a backup conversation going rather than having just the one going on at one time on YouTube? Reason for a backup or two might be to avoid the unwelcomed/unwanted situation of having to wait for a reply from the sole conversation. Afterall sometimes people let you down or get busy and do not reply for a long time... Just my thoughts. I hope I didn't intrude.
I don't know what Terry likes yet! Haha! But I do know I am enjoying this conversation with you.
So, whilst I am waiting for his response and, when I have time (I'm unemployed and it's a situation that is busier than I expected), I'm going over to your channel to see what you have to say.
By the way, I always thought that there could only be two people in a "one-to-one" debate. Or are you continuing another debate with Taylor elsewhere? If so, (and pardon me for being so un-English! Haha!), but using your video to me to respond to him by video was not the appropriate place to do it! :)
I'm guessing you'll be home by high noon then. Have a good day, my friend.
My thoughts on this point are clearer now. Thanks for the question.
Yes. The video response you made to Taylor before I had chance to consider your original video, diverted my train of thought. Hence, all the "Taylor" stuff. Without it, my video response to you may have been totally different.
I think we're doing this to find out what's in Vincent and Terry's minds, not Taylor's mind. Would you agree?
Oh, yes! Another thought. It was your video to Taylor which prompted me into action to make this video response in the first place. So it is not wasted in our debate.
As our discussions progress, we may even find it was essential. It depends what we both agree we want to talk about. We haven't done that yet.
Terry, I am getting side-tracked tonight. It is now late here.
I am going to watch your video in the morning with a fresh head. That way, I'll be in a better state to actually listen to you. I want to do your response justice.
I will go to work with a notepad and pen. And I will let you know as soon as something occurs (by video of course).
My gosh! I'm gone for a few days and now, see I've missed a juicy drama.Since you and terry are both in my subscriptions, I get the new ones I've missed at log in.While hoppimg around and catching the video responses sometime in reverse order, it finally dawns on me, it's a friggin' soap opera!Does it really apply to real life? That's why I don't do anything except poetry. It's from the past.
yafanna3 4 years ago
Hello, Fay! Glad you're catching up with the drama between Terry and I. Like all soap operas, we are sometimes on here twice a day ... at least! Haha!
I think poety is real life too, Fay, or a refection of our experiences. Wouldn't you agree?
Whatever Terry and I are doing (and I am not sure either of us knows what it is yet), please be assured I think we know we want to steer this soap opera towards a happy ending.
It's nice you're back, Fay. x
vincewood02 4 years ago
This video made me laugh. Very sweet and funny.
:-)
yeminidreams 4 years ago
Thank you. I did have fun making this one; I'm glad it came across.
I'm looking forward to seeing your adventures in Yemen, plus anything else that happens to you North of the Border in the meantime. :-)
And thanks for the subscription; I've reciprocated.
vincewood02 4 years ago
PS - I thought that most of the video communication on YouTube was not one to one but open. You two in this exchange is the first one to one I've come across via video, and I find that very interesting. My thought is - surely by broadcasting publicly you are more than broadcasting one to one. But there is a strange/unexpected one to oneness going on here in your exchange. Surely if you wanted one to one communication you would communicate via MSN or Stickam or something. Just my inital take.
fr3thinker 4 years ago
Thank you. Two more points.
Debating "live" on Stickam or MSN does not work for me. I prefer video because it allows me to follow a train of thought for up to ten minutes without interuption.
In his original video, Terry said he wanted a meaningful discussion; so do I. This is a debate; using MSN or Stickam could turn it into chat.
vincewood02 4 years ago
Secondly, yes we are debating publicly. It never occured to me to do it privately. Maybe we will decide that in the future. These are early days.
And, it is up to you if you watch us or not. It is not obligatory to do so.
Personally, I like to watch two people trying to find common ground in this way. Even as the observer I can learn things.
But, I agree, this sort of stuff does not suit all people. I can only suggest they "unsubscribe".
By the way, I hope you don't unsubscribe. :)
vincewood02 4 years ago
Also, is there any reason a debate such as this cannot be public?
vincewood02 4 years ago
I did not say it should not. I just said I found it interesting that such a conversation was going on - and also I meant to say if I did not already that I find it interesting to see a two person conversation in action. I assumed (rightly or wrongly) that you both broadcasted publicly because you did not mind others seeing or even joining in. I did not consider that it might have been an oversight of yours that you broadcasted publicly.
fr3thinker 4 years ago
I'm sorry. I misunderstood you.
vincewood02 4 years ago
Easily done. I often do it - especially when I'm feeling defensive and under attack. I'm only just learning - far too late in my opinion - that sometimes in my life some people were not attacking me nor trying to undermine or manipulate me. Although other times some people were attacking me, etc. Our (from my experience) bad life experiences can cause us to see much attack that is not attack.
fr3thinker 4 years ago
I'm so with you there. I too am only just beginning to learn that. Thank you very much for you input.
Enjoy your day! x
vincewood02 4 years ago
I wasn't thinking of unsubscribing. I came to this conversation because I'm subscribed to Terry, probably to Terry because I was subscribed to Taylor. I found the communication you had going very interesting and also informative - that's why I view all the stuff I view.
fr3thinker 4 years ago
Then the debate, even this early on, has gained me (at least) one new subscriber. Thank you. I agree with you, it is important to see both sides of the story.
I would like to finish my "debate" with you now; I have another debate going on that I am missing out on! :)
Your comments have been valuable. I may explore your channel in more depth soon; when I have more time.
Thank you.
vincewood02 4 years ago
Vincewood02, nicely made video.
Nice honest video. Good to see.
Interesting what you say about us on YouTube and in life wanting to "play with each other". BTW, my first thought on Terry is that he likes/prefers to communicate by video rather than by written form on YouTube. So unlike most of us who seem to prefer by written form on YouTube he seems to much prefer videoing. Vince, what if Terry wants to speak to you both? Or more than just you both?
fr3thinker 4 years ago
Thank you. Two points.
Firstly, I also prefer the video debate. The comments below are points of clarification only, to clear-up any misunderstandings (such as the relevence of the "Taylor video").
Also, Terry is in the US; I am in the UK. We many use the same words differently, according to our culture.
The comments are not the debate itself.
vincewood02 4 years ago
Secondly, Terry invited me into a one-to-one debate with him. You're right, I could have asked, does he want to debate with both of us?
If the answer is yes, then I have the right to agree to carry on or withdraw from the debate.
So far, a third person in the debate has not been mentioned. So I am working on the assumption of Terry's initial invitation.
vincewood02 4 years ago
"So far, a third person in the debate has not been mentioned. So I am working on the assumption of Terry's initial invitation."
I'm trying to find the words here... Vince, am I right in thinking you feel frustrated when Terry seeks other friends? Surely he is still your friend but he also wants Taylor as a friend. This seems a very human thing familiar to me when one person feels left out.
fr3thinker 4 years ago
But Vince, I'm English and I do not have any problem understanding either Taylor or Terry like you seem to have.
fr3thinker 4 years ago
Perhaps that's the debate.
vincewood02 4 years ago
What do you mean?
Anywaqy, I find that many English (for some reason I want to write English with a lower case e) people have trouble understanding each other English people (nothing to do with accents either) - misinterpretation, unclear expression, etc.
fr3thinker 4 years ago
Ask, my friend. How appropriate your real name is. Truly. I was falling-out with you and was not going to respond to this comment. I want us to be friends, so I have changed my mind.
You are right. Of course, I understand what Terry is saying. But I think my problem is that I have not yet heard his message. Does that make sense?
If it does, then you are brilliant! You gave me that thought and I know it will be useful when Terry and I talk further.
vincewood02 4 years ago
Let me tell you my grounds for knowing what I am talking about.
For ten years, until 1991, I worked with a discipline called Transactional Analysis. It is a form of cognitive behaviour therapy. The first eight years were as a client; the last two were as a counsellor (British Association of Councelling approved).
For my own reasons, I left that occupation and moved onto something else. Much as I am doing now.
Not only do I want to "hear" Terry. I want to "see" Terry. So video is best.
vincewood02 4 years ago
Hi, Vince, I've heard of TA. I read a three books on it - one by Eric Bern - "Games people play" (name spelling might be wrong) and the first two (if there are any more I don't know) in the "I'm Ok, you..." series. I did not stick with it because there did not seem any therapist familiar with it here in England in 1998/1999. I did though find it quite brilliant at the time. This makes me consider re-reading those books. But as you say, an experty therapist trained in TA will be required.
fr3thinker 4 years ago
I'm coming to realise my therapist was way ahead of his time. He often referred to "I'm okay ... You're okay".
I don't know what's happened to him. I searched for him before the days of the internet. I may be more successful now I'm "online"; it's only been six months now.
I'll let you know.
vincewood02 4 years ago
Clearly you know a lot more about TA than me. I like the PAC of TA but I could never quite work out if I was parent domenanted, child dominated or a mixture of both. Anyway there was contamination there. Still I found/find TA a very useful model so different from others and wonderfully secular method.
fr3thinker 4 years ago
My therapist/trainer used the Parent Adult Child model more than anything else.
I may find it's worth revisiting it again.
And, I wouldn't say I know a lot more about TA. But I will accept I may know a little more.
But, what I do know is about 15 years old now. The rest of my personal development is down purely to life experience and just "watching" how other people behave.
And none of us need training for that, don't you think? It's just fun to do it! :)
vincewood02 4 years ago
"Ask, my friend. How appropriate your real name is. Truly. I was falling-out with you and was not going to respond to this comment. I want us to be friends, so I have changed my mind."
I'm so used to people ridiculing I considered you statment might have been tongue in cheek here. I only realised latterly that you are most sincere in this. Thank you. If I helped I'm glad. I did not want to impose or interfere. I thought we were in a fall out btw was not certain.
fr3thinker 4 years ago
Is it that you know now you have someone in Terry you just sense you can continue to get a lot from via discourse? I think this is definitely so. :-) I'm glad we did not fall out. Interesting why we might have fallen out though isn't it? I've been on both sides of falling out in such exchanges and unlike you here, very often I stuck to my guns defensively (countering attacking and dismissing others). Result was that I further entrenched myself in my own thinking. I also lost friends.
fr3thinker 4 years ago
It is sad you have lost friends, Ask. Me, too. For very similar reasons.
I think that's why we are becoming friends. Maybe we were both reading "between the lines" in our comments. Maybe we recognised something of ourselves in each other.
Thank you for sticking to your guns too. :)
vincewood02 4 years ago
I can't read the lines,
let alone... between :)
desire4liberation 4 years ago
Today's one of those days for me too, kimi. I just hope tomorrow will be different. :) x
vincewood02 4 years ago
Well I didn't know this was a feature you and Terry both - prefering to communicate with videos. I prefer on Youtube to quickly communicate by writing. I was just wondering if Terry, rather than writing a comment to a Taylor video miight just prefer to reply via video. You might then make a bigger thing about it than is really so. Or maybe Terry likes many conversations going on at once, so as not to be left with none if he just had one video conversation going at any one time.
fr3thinker 4 years ago
PS - I mean, is it possible that Terry likes to have a backup conversation going rather than having just the one going on at one time on YouTube? Reason for a backup or two might be to avoid the unwelcomed/unwanted situation of having to wait for a reply from the sole conversation. Afterall sometimes people let you down or get busy and do not reply for a long time... Just my thoughts. I hope I didn't intrude.
fr3thinker 4 years ago
I don't know what Terry likes yet! Haha! But I do know I am enjoying this conversation with you.
So, whilst I am waiting for his response and, when I have time (I'm unemployed and it's a situation that is busier than I expected), I'm going over to your channel to see what you have to say.
Maybe this evening. I'm looking forward to it. x
vincewood02 4 years ago
I loved it, Vincent. I shall respond in kind.
tmac7425 4 years ago
I thought you would! :)
vincewood02 4 years ago
By the way, I always thought that there could only be two people in a "one-to-one" debate. Or are you continuing another debate with Taylor elsewhere? If so, (and pardon me for being so un-English! Haha!), but using your video to me to respond to him by video was not the appropriate place to do it! :)
I'm guessing you'll be home by high noon then. Have a good day, my friend.
vincewood02 4 years ago
I'm not sure what video you are talking about, did I address it to you and then start talking to him?
tmac7425 4 years ago
My thoughts on this point are clearer now. Thanks for the question.
Yes. The video response you made to Taylor before I had chance to consider your original video, diverted my train of thought. Hence, all the "Taylor" stuff. Without it, my video response to you may have been totally different.
I think we're doing this to find out what's in Vincent and Terry's minds, not Taylor's mind. Would you agree?
Hey! We're communicating! :)
vincewood02 4 years ago
Exactly.
tmac7425 4 years ago
Oh, yes! Another thought. It was your video to Taylor which prompted me into action to make this video response in the first place. So it is not wasted in our debate.
As our discussions progress, we may even find it was essential. It depends what we both agree we want to talk about. We haven't done that yet.
Does that make any sense?
vincewood02 4 years ago
Terry, I am getting side-tracked tonight. It is now late here.
I am going to watch your video in the morning with a fresh head. That way, I'll be in a better state to actually listen to you. I want to do your response justice.
I will go to work with a notepad and pen. And I will let you know as soon as something occurs (by video of course).
I hope you'll see me tomorrow. :)
vincewood02 4 years ago