Top ten Signs you might be a Fundamentalist Christian

[mphello]

#2 EXCELLENT comment! BRAVO!

[MaggieLovesJimmy]

# 4 is my mom...she scared the shit out of us kids by talking about how the world was going to end in fire and we were "all going to be together in Heaven." What seven year old wants to hear that crazy shit???

[coolspindrift]

Fundamentalist Christians would be better served by just going to therapy and figuring out why they act so deranged. Once they work out their demons they will find the world is a lovely place, full of great people and wonderful beliefs of all kinds (sound of preacher moaning in the distance, But then I wont be able to make any money off my flock).

[kleenexpwnsu]

I love the one about teen pregnancy. Well, no...Actually I hate that there are people like that. (Pro-choice)

These are all so true

[AJComixII]

Wot in duh hell are yew tawken ahbout ishy?

[ItsyourgirlM]

And by the way I totally am not HOLIER than anyone. I am a sinner with a wicked heart but I fight it because GOD gives me the strength when I want to just turn into a Heathen! It's easier not to believe and not be held accountable isn't it? :)

[AJComixII]

Can you prove a god?

[kleenexpwnsu]

No one can prove a God. That's what faith is for.

[AJComixII]

You're a moron. Faith=9/11

[kleenexpwnsu]

Um... what... the HELL... does ANYTHING that I just said have to do with 9/11????

[AJComixII]

You're a moron. The Islamic terrorists who crashed into the twin towers had concrete faith that Allah would give them 72 virgins and eternal life. Faith made Hitler kill millions of Jews in the name of (the Roman Catholic) God. Faith causes parents to pray for their sick kids as apposed to actually getting them medical attention, causing their pointless death. Indeed, faith is a TERRIBLE thing. It has NO value whatsoever, and is in itself a special pleading logical fallacy.

[kleenexpwnsu]

You only pick out the bad things that faith does, obviously faith is bad if that's all you depend on. But really, only the extremely religious idiot people would do such things as you said (not getting medicine for sick children, etc.)

The last time I checked, parents would neglect to give their children medical attention hundreds of years ago, when there were very little known cures or ailments for sicknesses.

Faith isn't all bad. But you can call me a moron again if it makes you feel smart.

[AJComixII]

Wow. Tell me ONE thing that faith does that can't be achieved by secular means.

[kleenexpwnsu]

Well, at least you managed not to call me a moron. Congratulations.

You don't seem like a very spriritual person, so I haven't the slightest idea how to discuss this matter further with you, I'm afraid.

I suppose it doesn't do anything USEFUL, does it? Not to someone like you, at least.

On the other hand, I am a very spiritual person, so faith plays a significant part in my thoughts and opinions. It does get in the way frequently, though. But I don't think my life would be better without it.

[AJComixII]

Did you know that completely answered my question, no red herring fallacy at all? OH WAIT...

Could you answer the bloody question and get away from me with this "holier than thou" bullshit? Seriously, how much of a prick are you?

[kleenexpwnsu]

...You didn't understand a single DAMN thing I said, did you.

What I meant was (and I'll use small words so you can understand) that OBVIOUSLY faith can't achieve anything in the physical world; faith can't invent a cure for cancer, faith can't stop world hunger, faith doesn't DO that, and I hate that people think it does.

What I MEANT was, faith plays a big part in some people's opinions and actions. There is no "holier han thou" bullshit here. Just a difference of opinion, JACKASS.

[chrisinsocalif]

Let me give you the Definition of faith. Faith: belief that is not based on proof....So basically you are believing in a concept that has no proof. Why not believe in the easter bunny, santa, apollo, spaghetti monster, superman or other made up entities? I don't see a difference between all those characters.

[kleenexpwnsu]

Guess what, I believe in ghosts, though I have never seen one. And any proof that they exist is weak and unpersuasive. There is no strong evidence to prove there is a God, but I believe in a God anyway. Those who claim to be able to prove a God are fools.

But I have faith anyway. I don't know why, I just do. Oh, I'm sorry, has my belief in God hurt your feelings? =D

[chrisinsocalif]

I dont mind if people are religious, just keep your religion to yourself. Don't try to recruit, don't push your beliefs onto others. Christianity (and other religions) slow progress. So yes, your belief can hurt more than feelings.

[kleenexpwnsu]

Oh, sorry... Is that what it looked like I was trying to do? I wasn't trying to recruit. Sorry if it sounded like I was. =(

[ItsyourgirlM]

Welcome to the END who ever made this video! Start believing and you will be Receiving! In Jesus Holy Name I pray...AMEN

[CapnOrdinary]

Look, why don't you park your holier-than-thou attitude at the door and try to really think about things instead of blindly believing in a bronze age fantasy novel?

Oh well.... Merry christmas to you too. Don't pray for me, and I won't think for you.

[CapnOrdinary]

There isn't a single accusation in this video. Merely observations. And believe me, they exist.

[Heathenfidel]

Very funny, especially the one about rain.

[ZigZagy007]

#1 is great :)

[CapnOrdinary]

Okay, first of all you need to learn basic spelling and grammar.

Then we can send you to school so you can learn some actual history and realise the bible was written by bronze age men who knew little to nothing about their world.

In other words: They made it up.

[Mailrobot]

On number 5, what about Lot's daughters making him drunk and having sex with him?

[AnimezingGirl]

I think you're right.

I'm not anti-christianity, or at east, i wasn't until I started reading up about it. I think it's hypocritical (sorry for spelling) bullshit.

Sorry to offend anyone. Especially fundamentalists because i know they are likely to come and abuse anyone who bd mouths God. "Defending their faith" I think you said.

Thankyou for this video.

[kuckold]

i believe in retroabortion for atheists

[kuckold]

zeus lives!

[cyoungrun]

OH yeah...... Go ahead and block me. My comment was for you alone. As long as you read it, I'm happy. : )

[CapnOrdinary]

Why on earth would I block you simply for having an opinion, and being slightly aggressive in expressing it?

[cyoungrun]

Capn, I don't know where you're from or where you grew up, but your "top ten" doesn't describe anyone I've met in my entire life. I guess it's all about perceptions, isn't it?

For a guy who "don't hate god" you sure sound like an angry man.

I believe in God, I'm happy, and I don't have a need to make insulting videos, sharing my rage with the whole world. I'm glad I'm not you.

[CapnOrdinary]

Guess you have been lucky enough to avoid fundamentalist protestants then. Good for you.

I don't hate god. I don't believe there is a god, so hating god would make as much sense as hating the easter bunny to me. I get angry because of believers who spew bullshit at me with no foundation except their bronze age myth collection.

I don't believe in your magic sky-daddy, I'm happy, and I insult whoever I please, whenever I please. It's called freedom of expression. I'm glad I'm not you.

[crackmunch]

good job. Thank you. I'll be subscribing to you.

When they push, WE PUSH BACK!!

c'mon humans. The dark ages have ended. The earth is round. Get over it. Move on

[BrandonInfinite]

Sad man... This is a real sad video you made. Its actually pretty sad that someone could go so low to bash a loving god and his followers. What you did here was attack the christians like everyone else. Its ok, I dont let things like these get to me. When the time has come and you die you will be more then awake to reality.. God says.. You have a choice, heaven or hell. Weird how a lot of you people choose hell.

[BrandonInfinite]

Sad man... This is a real sad video you made. Its actually pretty sad that someone could go so low to bash a loving god and his followers. What you did here was attack the christians like everyone else. Its ok, I dont let things like these get to me. When the time has come and you die you will be more then awake to reality.. God says.. You have a choice, heaven or hell. Weird how a lot of you people choose hell.

[CapnOrdinary]

Well, when you can explain why a loving god is so vain as to need worship, so petty as to punish humans with eternal damnation, so cruel as to hide so they won't believe so that he can punish them.... Then maybe you'll have a god that makes a tiny ounce of sense. Until then, your superstition is simply silly.

[BrandonInfinite]

I could preach to you but it would not lead to much. I can see that your mind is already full of misbelief but even so I will still pray for you.

[CapnOrdinary]

You're right, preaching would only lead to pissing me off.

And I find the very idea of you praying for me very offensive indeed, so I propose a deal: You don't pray for me, I won't think for you.

[BrandonInfinite]

Im sorry you feel that way. Well I hope for the time you live a long healthy life then.

[CapnOrdinary]

Same to you. After all, it's the only one we'll get

[MaXG65]

Capn? Don't you want your children to listen and obey you? Do you not punish your children? If you don't they will pay a greater price later in this life! Unless you your self have nothing to give them. No lesson to teach. God is not hiding. He's waiting for your acceptance! I would rather risk believing in a god that is not there then to risk not believing and paying the ultimate price. Don't worry. I'm not going to pray for you. I'll let your mother cry over that!

[CapnOrdinary]

No, I want my children to learn, to grow, and hopefully someday outgrow me. I may punish them for causing harm to others, but never an eternal punishment. And never for something that causes no harm.

If there is a god, he/she/it is most certainly hiding, because there is zero evidence for him/her/it.

(cont.)

[CapnOrdinary]

(cont.)

And since this goes for all gods, how do you know which one to believe in? Pascal's Wager is a fool's bet, it assumes you guess right. The odds are very much against that, plus, an omniscient god will see through the trick anyway.

[MaXG65]

The so called stories are all the same. Same God! Time and the separation of cultures may have changed the stories a bit over the millennia but it's the same god no matter which religion.

[CapnOrdinary]

So Vishnu, Shiva, Thor, Wotan, Zeus, Freya, Quetzalcoatl, Yahweh, Allah, Athena, and Hades, are all the same god? So then what is required for salvation? Dying in battle (norse)? Praying five times a day and giving to charity (islam)? Faith in Jesus (christianity)? Adherence to the law of Moses (judaism)?

And what is salvation? Oblivion (hinduism)? Partying and fighting (norse)? 72 virgins (islam)? Singing Yahweh's praise 24-7-365 (christianity)? Or is there simply no salvation (judaism)?

[CapnOrdinary]

Why don't you throw Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy in there while you're at it? They've more evidence than any of these gods anyway. We know that presents, bunnies, and teeth exist, at least.

[MaXG65]

Good point. More evidence that God exists within us. Because we are those... I won't go any further incase the kids are watching... lol Look I'm not trying to convert you or anyone else. From the time I graduated until I was about 30 I hated God. I blamed God for all the bad things that happened in my life and also for wars etc. etc. During this time period I was married to a catholic. She was a perfect example of what I thought the problem with the world is. She was a chronic liar and cheat.

[MaXG65]

I felt that sense she believed she was saved through her belief in Christ, she could do any thing she wanted to and still go to heaven. If that's the case then Hitler is in heaven also. I don't believe that. I believe that the path to heaven is paved with good deeds and moral judgment. During this time period I also started searching for the source of the bible. I found the dead sea scrolls on the internet and their translations. One caught my eye in particular.

[MaXG65]

Enoch wrote about the NEPHILIM. The product of the mating of fallen angles and human woman. In the bible it says something to the effect that they were the men of great or giants or something like that. In the dead sea scrolls his writings include a phrase that states these things were 3000 cubits in height. No one in the catholic community or else where, can seem to answer my question to this day as to what these things were. And why it was taken out of the bible.

[MaXG65]

Well, I know why. They can't explain it so they take it out. Anyway, at the end of this period in my life I went through a divorce. I could no longer take my wife's fecklessness. I found my self un able to sleep at night and talking to myself. I started to speak as if I was talking to God. Weeks went by and things started to get better. Whether or not taking to myself or to God, it kept me from putting a gun in my mouth and pulling the trigger.

[MaXG65]

6 months went by and I ran into a gal I had not seen in years. She turned out to be catholic also. I thought OH GREAT, another one! But in the years since she has turned out to be one of the good ones. We are still together 8 years later. Whether God is a spiritual being or the Anunnaki, something happened 5000 years ago. If it turns out that it was the Anunnaki, I believe that we as a species have evolved enough to not be enslaved by them again.

[MaXG65]

Although if they are more advanced it may mean our extermination. If it turns out to be a spiritual God, I would rather not take the chance in not believing. Just my opinion.

[CapnOrdinary]

So you went through a rough time, hating god (I don't hate any gods, by the way, I just don't believe they exist), and somehow you were convinced of some superstitious notion that the voice in your head was (a) god.

Great. If it helped you, great.

Me, I'll need some actual evidence, before I start believing in anything of the kind whatsoever. Got any?

[MaXG65]

Unfortunately proving or disproving the existence of God is very difficult. It's something that has to be felt. Something that only the person believing, can say they feel or have felt at some point in their lives. I guess that's why they call it faith.

[CapnOrdinary]

Or in other words: There's no evidence.

[MaXG65]

Just faith.

[CapnOrdinary]

That's all fine and dandy. But it's not likely to convince a whole lot of people. At least, it certainly isn't likely to convince me.

[holymoose69]

lol

[bluebirdie252]

all gods are false and all humans must be destroyed

[CapnOrdinary]

While I agree with the first, my irrational fondness of my own species prevents me from agreeing with the second, although I am sure that the planet as a whole would benefit from our absence.

[SaimDI]

Allah = the Christian god. Call him Yahweh. That's what I do.

[DarkBahamut]

I know global warming is happening, but I'm not worrying. I'll leave that ordeal onto my children. Survival of the fittest is my belief.

[jetmanisme]

Social Darwinism and the belief of Survival of the fittest when it comes to people in a society was developed by Herbert Spencer. If you are trying to infer that the observed process of natural selection is somehow connected to this, then you are grossly mistaken.

[NaoTio]

Great music, it really suited the content. Which was also great, by the way. I'd love to air this on the TV. Sadly, that will never happen.

[zombiemouse]

Holy shit you need to drive home from work more often- and not sleep.

[luevas]

cool vid =)

[Danmill23]

Brillant Cap.

[borris79]

great video as always

[Spitamenes8809]

wonderful music, and great video as always

[Ender1zero1]

Hate cats but love your vids.

[sueyetta]

Ron Paul and intelligence? LOL The right wing religious racist choice for AmeriKKKa

[Untaramar]

i love this video! and the music was good too

[CapnOrdinary]

Thanks :) Bit repetitive music, but what the hey.... I kinda like it anyway.

[ThatOneQuestion]

Just awsome again, Capn!

[ChrisJMoor]

You forgot to mention:

You are shocked by violence on TV...

...but you thought The Passion of The christ was okay.

[CapnOrdinary]

LOL that's a good one!

[ChrisJMoor]

It could be except that in most cases they are far more concerned about sex on TV, especially gay sex of course. Unless its the tale of Sodom and Gomorrah of course which goes one better with gay rape and being turned to pillars of salt:D

[Canaximander]

Indeed CJ. Growing up I was allowed to rent R rated ninja movies at the age of 9, provided they contained no nudity. Decapitation was fine, the course language was frowned upon but allowed. Oh ya, and I still wasn't allowed to watch Soap or Three's Company. By 12 I had their game figured out.

[ThatOneQuestion]

Whoa, yeah, good point Chris!

[ChrisJMoor]

oh I forgot to mention - preferring to let your daughter be gang raped instead of your male house guest.

Sodom and Gomorrah should be adapted into a BDSM-related snuff flick. Expect it to get onto Evangelists' 'what would Jesus watch' lists up and down the country.

[Metaleks]

Brilliant!

[sueyetta]

I would add (In the US) you might me a Fundamentalist Christian if you support Ron Paul

[CapnOrdinary]

Actually, I've seen plenty of atheists support Ron Paul... Personally, I don't give much of a fuck either way, to even be a presidential candidate in the US it seems to me you have to sell your soul to the highest bidder anyway, so from my POV, they're all sell-outs.... But that's just my opinion, of course.

[ChrisJMoor]

I approve of Ron Paul because he actually seems to be intelligent enough to do the job and has genuinely served in a military conflict. Thats not to say I'd vote for him of course...

[sueyetta]

True...baffling about the atheist supporting a religious nut bag though ;)

[unclexbob]

"to even be a presidential candidate in the US it seems to me you have to sell your soul to the highest bidder anyway, "

99.9% of the time, you would be correct capn. But Ron Paul is a rare exception to that. He has never shifted his stance on anything, ever. Period. No pandering whatsoever. No questionable lobbyist support. Nothing

I have several issues with Ron Paul, but one thing you definitely can't question on him is his integrety.

[ogami72]

This has to be one of my favorite videos by you so far.You just keep setting the bar higher and higher.Now my hopes for the evolution simulator are impossibly high.

[CapnOrdinary]

Heh, so are mine, actually :) But I haven't put finger to keyboard on the actual code yet, so like I said, don't hold your breath on that one.

[ogami72]

I'm not holding my breath,but it is eating away at the back of my mind.

[superfisto]

You mention abraham and isaac.

Let's not forget the human sacrifice of Jesus.

[EternalFire00]

The last one was greatness.

[lookaduck66]

Very good, you certainly covered all of the bases. :D

[seanmbatemansmb]

on of your best videos

[XGralgrathor]

I'll tell you something else. Christists hate cats. Really, it's true.

[themaxxxi]

I can verify that.

[worldlystone]

ROTFL.You should do a comedy tour like that redneck guy.