There Goes An Asshole by Shank Bone Mystic

[suedoctor1]

hilarious

[kylieorhooziersr0ck]

NIGGA STOLE MY BIKE!.

[adproof96]

awsome song thanx for the laugh

[mikethesmooth]

i'll tell you who stole that bike, that damn sasquatch

[0neofthem]

i would thrust a knife in his mouth

[lurviQ]

@0neofthem no u wouldnt

[girasole18]

still funny & clever, even after all this time!!!!! I hope you have an awesome bike to ride now.

[cass1146]

2 freakn funny..lol:)

[distortion702]

omg this song fucking rules. im really sorry about your bike. ill end up buying this song eventually. hahah

[hannahjayne2]

"I can get new tires, but you'll always be an asshole" OMG, such Universal truth. Set to music. :)

[youshmoob]

Nice work...I hate assholes too.

[binarycode10110]

ohhh hes getting awayyyy.. LOL

[GoldGraffitiKing]

if it takes you 3:25 to steal a bike. you shouldnt be doing it.

[jmellady]

A crowbar to the skull usually does the trick.

[cstubing]

Nice video... that's good old New York for you.. nobody walking or driving by gives a shit about the guy taking the wheels off a locked up bike.

It's sad to me that there are always rats running around looking for crumbs in this town, but I guess that's just how it goes.

My advice to you -- get a folding bike that you can keep inside. Dahon makes awesome folders!

[velocityrob]

Sterotype?

[jerkst0re]

Is that a question?

[dlsalo]

I just recently got my bike stolen, in my sadden state, thinking about my bike, I ran across your video. It consoled me some, it made me giggle even. Thank you for the asshole song.

[Pandanu]

& from a crappy situation a song was born. nicely done:)

[jeffreyrbuse]

Leave a bag of tempting food attached to the bike laced with something that would render the jerk unconscious and sick for days! After locating the perp. crazy glue the bike tire to his torso!

[sonicwedgy]

hook the bike up to a couple hundred volts of electricity

[BeretCyclist]

thats a good idea, haha

[scrybbler]

how freaking frustrating... I had the wheel stolen off my bike in SF by some cheeseball, too.

still biking though! BIKE POWER!!! BIKE > CAR!

[jussumone]

good song and video - despite the asshole having a part in it !

[gayle2020]

I love this although its sad!!

[Bullseyepr]

Really good song. Sorry about the wheels. The best art is derived through suffering.

[megamegablack]

next time better you put the bike inside..

where was it?btw..nice song..

[vaunk3]

may he go to jail and get but raped

[youngrelleus19]

@vaunk3 hope he gets butt raped with a knife.people who steal should die by knife in the ass

[Richie9388]

haha, he stole your wheel.

[shankbone]

wheels.

[BAMIXR]

ha

[HowardFair]

Beautiful song, sad story. If you're ever in Philly, I'll loan you a bike during your stay--but only if you promise me you'll lock the wheels in when you park it!

[HowardFair]

Don't really think using hate speech on a blog like this works better for anything, Kwipper. Peace out.

[emd217]

Beautiful song. And tragic.

[UToobFool]

Asshole stole my bike too! 2 years ago in Detroit. What an asshole!

No really, clever funny video, although the topic makes me frown on the Asshole.

[jasonwalldog]

"comes back with a pushcart...oh the nerve!" I love that line

[BraveSaintStuart]

When I was in middle school, some kid stole my bike from my house. The idiot rode the bike to my middle school as if to show off that he stole it. A friend of mine ID'd him to cops and I got my bike back. Asshole.

[chauboii]

lmao idiot

[trinidadjunction]

this is hilarious, sad, amazing, triumphant and beautiful. shankbone, you are one superbly talented guy. i hope that this video makes you famous!

[mattusattucks]

keep your bike in your apartment

[Shadowless]

What an asshole.

[atlasking]

Right now I am full of mixed feelings, I love the song and strongly dislikes the asshole.

-As you stated yourself, you can by new wheels but he will always be an asshole. So in an more philosofical way you´re the winner anyhow. ;-)

[sonicsuns]

I feel sorry for you, but at least you got to make this song.

Is there anybody around here who can send shankbone a new bike?

[RJForce]

The lyrics are true. This guy really is an asshole.

Nice song.

[niggab00b2007]

Great video!

[immeris]

beautiful. all this will come back to you. great sense of humour, great song. cheers!!

[deepfriedman]

Brilliant!

[naguerea]

Lovely.

As a cyclist, every word meant something to me.

Just great

[iamsomies]

A story you might appreciate: I recently witnessed a guy with a cane (!) toting away my bike tires outside of the hospital where I work. I chased him down and bought them back to $2.

I may have my tires back and a good story to tell, but you have a saweet music video and a link on boingboing. You win.

[zdwade]

why would you buy them back, should of beat the shit out of him, grabbed ur tires, and stole his money. fuck that bitch

[QXBear]

I'd donate $1 for such an honest, heart felt song and so you can buy a new bicycle. You should set a PayPal donation or put this up on iTunes.

[FlyinPig]

Hope you make enough to buy a lock that protects your wheels as well as the frame from those assholes. Nice video.

[wallyworld]

Yeah...if you post it somewhere with a payPal button I'll link to you and send you a buck. Great vid. /:-)

[shankbone]

Many thanks. You guys are nice. I won't accept charity but I'll be happy to make a sale. The mp3 can be had for a mere $.89 on the SBMP myspace page listed in the vid description.

[QXBear]

I guess I should have read all the comments before leaving mine.

[wallyworld]

I've tried and tried to send you a couple of bucks on that PayPal/Snowcap account and it keeps rejecting it. The payment agreement is with Paypal and there's funds in my a/c but it keeps telling me "there's a problem, try again later". Fuck that. I've given up.

[planetsweet42]

This video is funny and very moving at the same time. Well done. I reckon if you posted it on a web site with a PayPal button you would recover the cost of your wheels very quickly. Good luck.

[alainsane]

Nice song! Reminds me of Luna's snarkiness with a little bit of The Smiths' guitar. :)

[kimnbri]

you should have just shot him in the head! THATS the only way they learn!!

[Physco219]

I hope you find the asshole and great song and job on this! I love it! I hope because of this you can buy 1000 bikes for some of the poorest Americans some day. PS if you run into this asshole you should take back your wheels and steal his push carts wheels. I bet you can pick him out of a crowd he'll be the only guy with a push cart with bike wheels, or roller skates with huge wheels!

[balmes104]

Who care about the whell.You seded..."he is a asshole"

You are the cool! Nice!

[maxipad505]

Good fucking show Shank. What an asshole indeed.

[neerajkorde]

that asshole made you a star! you owe that asshole a whole bike man...

[rikomatic]

"I'll get new wheels, but you'll always be an asshole" - awesome line!

[gaisgachliath]

That guy is clearly an asshole. You sir, on the other hand, are a very talented man, and I salute you.

[Physco219]

ditto!

[liquidchickens]

way to take things in stride! Talk about turning a negative into a positive! This shits funny!

[rivermonk]

Very clever, very funny!

[scottylans]

Same thing happened to me :( I hate those guys.

[wradik]

That sucks that your tires got stolen, however, this song is fucking amazing!

[fuzzycuffs]

Next time, run an electric current through your bike and hope he shocks himself on it.

Now that would be quality youtubing.

[jacksonpritt]

Oh man, that sucks ass.

It also sucks that people were walking and driving by and nobody asked anything or stopped him.

Here in San Francisco you basically have to get a chain to run through the frame AND the tires to keep people from stealing them. Even then a lot of times the crackheads willl just stomp your spokes out of spite.

[evillimp000]

Is there some place where he can sell the wheels? Probably the police don't care enough about stolen bikes to try to catch assholes like that. Around here, they're finally starting to care about the jerks who steal copper from houses either being built or abandoned.

[oneguycoding]

Excellent. One of those assholes stole my bike too. In fact, several of those assholes have stolen several of my bikes over the years. Liked the bit about the asshole "getting away". That was funny.

[PoisonIvyLeague]

This really pisses me off, what a dick.

[croscoe85]

Bike thieves should be wiped from the earth. Sorry about your wheelset. :(

[Redleg47]

Lame, that dude sucked! I could have had your whole bike in 20secs, gone in 30.

[thekingsinn]

Awesome song! Sad story. sounds like you are dealing w/ it in a very Ze Frankian manner. Loved this post!!!!!

[hempseeds]

nice song. too bad you lost your wheels.

[burlyQ]

what a smooth response to a crapola situation.

[another80sfan]

So you've got 2 surveillance cameras but a cheap-o lock!!

The song sounds a lot like East River Pipe to me.

[shankbone]

Thing is the frame was left locked to the railing. The wheels were not locked to anything. woops. And the same company owns most of the buildings in the neighborhood, which is why I was able to get multiple camera angles.

[theduus]

nice song, man.

[yaffle]

haha, nice song, and indeed what an asshole.

[RobertSeattle]

I had a bike stolen while in a college builing once - I'm pretty sure he came into the same bathroom THAT I WAS ALSO IN to clean his hands after breaking my lock. Of course, I didn't put two and two together until I left the building and it was gone.

[dontiknow]

brilliant response to an experience that sucks!

[kyselad]

That's a crazy-cool song. Worst part is he'll only get a few bucks for 'em, and it ends up costing you a heap to replace them. Man, what an asshole.

[ottomatik]

Where does a wheel stealing asshole fence bike wheels? And how much can he really get for them? $5, tops?

[jonnystiles]

Nice work man. Thanks again for being a part of Bike Shorts.

[justingarrett]

Fight theft with song! Dan, you kicked this ass-faced asshole's ass.

[girasole18]

hilarious!!  I wonder how many times the asshole has watched himself on this video!!?? Dan, you rock!!

your admiring zia Lizzie

[selish77]

Good Pete, what can you even get for a couple of bike wheels (no offense, but they looked pretty unremarkable) these days that it would be worth an hour of one's time? Get a job dumping circulars on peoples' stoops, asshole.

[shankbone]

none taken. i agree, street value of these wheels couldn't be more than a few bucks. his time could have been better spent.

[stfuudork]

maybe you could better spend you rtime as well :)

[LREVS]

Only my son, SBM, could have such a creative, mellow response to having his wheels stolen -- way to go Dan -- keep the new bike locked & hidden!

[abamfici]

Sounds like They Might Be Giants with swearing.

[Jintty]

lmao hilarious!!

[shankbone]

...if only.

[deeveefriendsf]

Great song and video...but this has to be staged!

[BobGunderson]

Some kid ditched a bike just inside the doors of the mall I work at. Probably stolen.

[ackeber]

wow, that's so terrible.

what's the total time lapse of the event?

what lock did you have? i rely on my gaurd-dog U-lock alot, i hope its safe.

[shankbone]

About an hour (starting at 11am!). My Kryptonite Lock was only through the bike frame. The wheels, which were not quick release wheels were on their own.

[omcp]

I feel your pain, dude. Been there myself.

Didn't have quite such a cool, creative response to the incident though myself.

Good song. Sorry 'bout your bike....

[LOLZORZZZZ]

funny. that's an interesting response to having a bike stolen. Not many people would be like, "dammit someone stole my bike tires. im gonna write a song!"

[Wedge7]

christ what an asshole

[deivys20]

An asshole indeed. I had two brand new mountain bikes stolen. They just cut the chain and I lost two good bikes. One was for Christmas and the other one for my Birthday. After that I just got a really old bike full of rust and problem solved. No one decided to take it even though I never had it under a chain and lock. BTW, the song it's really good.

[finnboy67]

Love it! Sad but funny.

[shankbone]

Thanks badgercrouch (if that is your real name). I'm glad you're with me on this one.

[badgercrouch]

What an asshole.

This is a lovely song.