Poker cheats from Russia

[doluseb]

6:40 was played terribly

[kleinveld100]

bro i luv this video! it cost u loads but for me this is priceless! very funny shit holmes. keep ur head up!

[TheIraRock]

Online poker sites have the morals of a paedophile, they are crammed full of site players (family members) every single one of them are filthy criminals, who should have their fucking heads hacked off.

[vrolok4768]

Call Tony G for the Russians! hehe

[davidking3004]

good russian :D

[infuglenn]

i feel sorry for you but its so fucking funny xd

[wimpie012]

they hit the river 140% of the time!

[zacattack7760]

Rusky's are always on tilt. I lose to them everytime time playin pokerstars. Worst hand always win's, bet on that. lol

[TheMariosyo]

fucking bastards russian players u cant even win them with aces

[jsham23]

If i ever meet a Russian, i'm fucking fly kicking them in the fucking head. If they play poker or not, i don't care...fly kick.

[2tame4fame]

you can play live for days and you never hit a set, but online you get one every hour!

[macielit]

son of a bitch XD

[Minsheme]

Fucking over-aggressive bastards. No idea how any of them get anywhere playing the way they do. Anyone around that area, Ukraine, Bulgaria etc., is just as bad.

[LAmoZzz]

It's just not funny..Dunno why.

[spunkmaster7]

fukin flat head vodka guzzling bear buming twats

[leandroearth]

there's something worse...

the German

everytime they're on board, something bad happens to me

I use to play without knowing where the players are from...

sometimes this helps me not to worry...

[Andrei1103gi]

They are so stupid!!!!!

If you do not have the fucking nuts and there is at least a russian in the pot, you WILL LOSEE!

[TheOnlyTrueStyle2]

how do the russians always win like that

[TheOnlyTrueStyle2]

this is so true

[TheOnlyTrueStyle2]

this is so true

[nepoereh]

when you play against them be prepered to play russian rulete

[nepoereh]

i understand , happend to me to

[vxmortal15]

He sounds like clive owen :p

[8bobthebuilder]

i love your comments after each loss

[fapsterfapfap]

fake

all of those russian names are from hockey

he edited the video aswell

[guybrush93]

it's hard to lose against anyone else, there are russians everywhere on PS or FT

[WaspSnG]

@guybrush93 You commented two weeks ago that there are Russians on FT? You haven't played for a while I assume?

[guybrush93]

@WaspSnG Well, PS still stands so my argument is valid... I know FT is more/less broken now...

[WaspSnG]

@guybrush93 How can you call that more/less broken, if there is zero traffic? Your argument is valid I guess, but it's still dumb as fuck to write that there are a lot of Russianst on FTP, while there isn't anyone in the world that is permitted on that network.

[guybrush93]

@WaspSnG okay, get the fuck away man, I don't fucking care (or ever did) about FTP, I only played on PS and know what I've been told... jesus fucking christ, how important is that to you? Okay, I therefore take back what I've said about FTP and I hope that you can sleep now...

[WaspSnG]

@guybrush93 I was just asking you something, there's no need to act like a fucking retard. You react like I was screaming it from the roofs or anything like that, get a hold on yourself. FTP is 100% done for now, yet you act like there is a temporarily error, doesn't it come natural to you that I find that responds weird then?

I'm not pissed or anything, I could care less.

[tomreves28]

russians are cheater, they should be banned from snooker

[ocrisful]

:)))))))))))))

[Diss8787]

I HATE RUSSIAN POKERPLAYERS!DIE ALL!

[speed90]

donks=russians

[MillerLeeJohnny]

so, in order:

1)im russian-it doesnt say about my bias

2)this is either fake or you are biggest looser what ever i have been seen...or unlucky dude who oflen lost for russians of course P

3)I am always surprised by people who are willing to call other people-" son of bitches", bastards" and another like that for a couple facking dollars!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!omg what a stupid hamburgers!i hate you all you are all not a humans just sick monkeys, angry hungry monkey!where is your heads:?

[casdav05]

I know that this video is meant to be funny, but just today, I went through the exact same shit that is on this video. It was unbelievable!!! For real.

[plstrom]

lol it really is a plague...

[perplexed76]

now we have poker boom in Russia... just check it out how many players from Russia on PS. I think about 25% of all players.

[gambitazul]

That last hand on Pokerstars (AA vs. J9o). Those Russians always hit their 2% after being dominated preflop, flop and turn. It's really hard for me to play online... I can't handle those beats anymore. A little bit of me dies on the inside and the winnings of a poker tournament can't compensate the amount of stress and agony these beats cause. Oh and the medical bills from damaging your hand from punching the wall.

[MrSitronsaft]

Dude, is this "russian poker cheats" just bullshit or does fulltilt actually work with the russians? Cuz i FUCKING LOSE AGAINST THEM AT THE RIVER, ALL THE TIME

[edisons15]

@MrSitronsaft No its not only on fulltilt, im losing at tournaments in pokerstars to russians all the time...

[m0zane]

xDDD Lada 60cc :DDD

[atomisten]

lol hahaha i hate russians too in ftp :D:D they are usually too loose and plays very randomly

[JagZZZoR]

And why all those players are hockey players , car names , wtf?

[JagZZZoR]

All those names are hockey players .

Nice fake.

[Beogradoff]

FUCK RUSSIA!

[wedingo]

this made me laugh so hard :)))

[00Pottus00]

10 people who dis-liked this were Russians.

[ZzTobyZ]

RUSSIAN players are serious donkers I hate them, honestly, I don't hate russian poker players

[Catalanos9]

I fuck ur moms u fuckin russians bastards. die from cancer

[sib0kralj]

Like x10

[kinogomes1980]

I hope russian bastards burns in hell. Fucking jokers they all hit miracles all time.

Lets hope they all get baned from online poker stupid hackers son of a biotchs

[laistar]

haha Russians don't give a damn

[freedraco]

Rasputin :D Boney M XD

[Zeus200733]

I feel your pain bro, my theory is this online poker is set up for max entertainment... Therefore no matter who calls u both hit and it's either draws or sets and boats! Bottom line it's not real poker it's just max rake bingo!

[skalleee]

hahaha:D

i am from russia:D

FETISOV, OVECHKIN, KOVALCHUK, LADA FTW!!!!!

[Wiseguy111111111]

I'm russian but many of russians are fucking luckers and idiots! V.Kharlamov is the best! I respect Turtleknife!

[zombiekid16]

just now i go all in with KK on the final table, 9 players left real nice cash guy calls K9 and he hits 4 9s :P

[Doppe1ganger]

In Soviet Russia, poker plays you!

[boutelsworth]

@Doppe1ganger why does everyone say that.. i dont get it

[freedraco]

mi favorite part 3:23 two russians!!!!! XDDDDD 

[tntjefferson]

nice cheats in her names... photoshop wins

[freedraco]

honey theres seriously something goin go with russians jajajajajajajajaja

[freedraco]

hahahahahahahahahaha man this IS SO REALLLL FCKN RUSSIANS R SO FCKN LUCKY "FCKN SON OF A BITCH" HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

TWO RUSSIANS FCK OH SHT!!!

[smokingmonki]

- #FTW there is no chetaing

[Bonnie2life]

7:07 so funny :))))))

[Sydneywizard]

Loved it!

[uranmunken]

This is so funny... Turtleknife is the luckiest man ever...!

[1tylerjosh]

I fuking hate the russians. Why the fuck do stars reward them for being such fucking bad players

[SmokiSounds]

@1tylerjosh lame idiot every hand shown here except a couple, they pwnd turtle and he knows it, just making fun.

[skatexpt]

russian*

In Soviet Russia you don't play poker, poker plays you!

In Soviet Russia you don't get chips, chips get you!

[OXiSixteen]

LOL

[skatexpt]

this video might be a parody but it happens all the time against me when im playing against a russing and i have better hand Preflop and in the flop and they seem to always get lucky and win it's so fucking sad...

[ClintfromNYtoVA]

Thumbs up if poker stars is worse beats.

[Kingpin745]

who goes all in with JJ?

[cqbhoun]

russians OFTEN ruin my day.

[Beulzabob]

LOL!!  I feel your pain Marty. I get that from the Ruskies all the time. But do you really thing wired tens are that strong??? They've got the Wodka luck!! (I have the same run-ins with South Americans too :-D

[DerniereFan]

Dude ure awesome ! this is what exactly i go through with these mother fuckers xD

[DerniereFan]

i just cant stop hating russian players ~

[aaronfromalaska]

love that sopranos episode.

[TurtleKnife]

@aaronfromalaska I love that Sopranos episode too. I think it is one of the most clever and entertaining 60 minutes of television ever created.

[syrenski]

hilarious stuff!

[WindBreaker77]

3:50 "guaran-fking-teed" lolol

[bpd35]

Great videos... keep them coming. I have had the shit kicked out of me in the last week by several bb hands and watching this at least makes me feel I am not alone !!!!!

[slipersnap]

i love playing vs russians...they're not cheaters...they're lucky and very agressive players

[blazewarrior123]

i had 2 fuckers try hackin my router

[SKaieR]

IM Russian this is funny good stuff turtle : ))

[BKHagge]

Online poker sites are rigged to move money from the west to the east, it's all political. That's why eastern europeans always suck out. It all makes perfect sense, the cold war is far from dead.

[matze27100]

I agree the Russians play horrible and the pokersites reward them for her bad play.

Im so sick of them and cant believe how they crash the micros and low limits everytime i play more russians then all other players.

NOTHING TO EAT BUT PLAYING ONLINE POKER AND GOING ME ON MY FUCKING NERVES.

Greets from Germany

[matze27100]

I agree the Russians play horrible and the pokersites reward them for her bad play.

Im so sick of them and cant believe how they crash the micros and low limits.

NOTHING TO EAT BUT PLAYING ONLINE POKER AND GOING ME ON MY FUCKING NERVES.

Greets from Germany

[tomwuustwezel]

Hi Marty, never seen this one before, PRICELESS!! I love you're comments, if you speak flemisch my wife thinks it's my video!! I have always the same reaction.

Love you're pokervids keep them comin'

Grtz from belgium

[GrHellas]

70 % of people when i play in pokerstars are Russians !! I Dont know what is going on with them but they keep winning with $^#^%$&^ hands. They make rediculous calls and they win. They are getting me on my nerves.

[Jac4y]

Its always the same. I had played many freeroll turnaments and it cost me time, I mean i play for houers and at the end Im the bubbleboy, because I get kockt out with the best hand against this guys.

What would Phil Helmuth do^^

Sorry about my English

Nice Video !! from Switzerland

[mQtek]

It is quite weird because everytime I shove with AA or something dude calls with 33- 55- something like that and hits it on the flop. I have lost like that 5-6 times in a row. So I decided not to play russians. So far, I am up a lot of money.

[ccwmiaborn]

@mQtek It's not only Russian players who make ridiculous calls in situations like that, but my problem is that if you see an American or person from elsewhere do this, you have a reasonable expectation that they will lose most of the time, but the odds don't seem to apply to these folks, somehow. It's sad to say, but not playing them is the only way to go. It's amazing how when it gets to about 10 p.m. EST, you will see whole swarms of them clog up tables, which means it's time for us to leave.

[cycyg]

lol

[seahawkslakersfan24]

we just know how to play the fucking game learn how to play dip shit ! FUCK YOU AMERICAN PIG!

[donkamentsng]

@seahawkslakersfan24 I'm pretty sure he's Canadian, but OK.

[blazewarrior123]

@seahawkslakersfan24 stick to fuckin chess u fuckpig

[KeyEscaper]

@seahawkslakersfan24

Another fail Russian here

[pauliestreetz]

i hate russian poker players they can not play poker they are all donks all of them i think all that vodka makes them think there good i hope russia gets banned from poker stars

[MrBored208]

im sick and tired of these rusiian bastards calling all in with queen jack offsuit and winning they are horrible

[dan2millerlite]

if u dont want to play the russians stop playing during the day

[Bucephalus1000]

I didn't hate the Russians before, but I sure as hell do now after watching this vid!

Fucking Russian bastards!

[ccwmiaborn]

@Bucephalus1000 Visit Pokerstars when they are on 2 or 3 to a table (usually never fewer or more during their peak hours, for some odd reason), and get a taste of it in person. The sad part is this video is frustrating, but nothing compared to the miracles our Russian friends seem to hit with regularity, and on hands that set up so perfectly, you'd swear they were laid out that way on purpose.

Nothing personal against them, but I like my money too much to even bother with that shit.

[GrHellas]

@ccwmiaborn pokerstars is full of russians. I hate them watching them sitting near to me !!!!

[L4StDayz]

this is getting bizarre AHAHAH

[Kingpin745]

@ 2:15 LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[SmokiSounds]

As a Russian I approve this hilariousness xDD

[joyariffic]

Mexican players suckout like that too

[ToolArmy951]

Dunno if that first guy was the real Andrei Markov. Probably not.

[the3bigreddevils]

Wow so funny; 3;30+ was so funny. I got 2 russians in the hand, i need to go "all-in".

[Josephysky]

7:15 true epic

[manicmanuk]

i think globalstrike is missing the entire point of this video lol

[teague67]

he biet me... straidaap! gif thet mien his manny.

[Nemquin]

Oh boy Marty, everytime i have a bad beat, you almost always have one that's worse. I liked the ending. "I think that's enough poker for you tonight. Why don't you just come to bed?" :D

[jiannj]

Russian are just cheaters on full tilt...

[derenkoff]

haha i am russian and this is some funny shit. nice video man, WTF fucking russsiannn another russiaan hahahaha

[patient1988]

best video ever i pissed my self from laughing haha and the god damn russian viggo mortensen plays heads up with phil hellmuth and you can imagine who freaks out

[J3ofHearts]

Ya know that sometimes we see the players names in the chat box?

[sum418084]

Your my hero, Taking all the abd beats

[cte]

V funny. Nice one. :D

[pikajojo2]

Russia is just born cheater, loser and failure.

[KaitonsCorner]

Surprised you didn't include "Sneaky facking Russian" from Snatch.

Great vid though! Seriously funny.

[NoRdIqUeDiEhArD]

This video made me LMAO because It reminds me of my own reaction to the typical "brainless play" suckouts that i recieve on a daily basis. I personally don't think russians are that bad...in my opinion the biggest donkeys on the table are ALWAYS...always,always,always from 1)Brazil 2)Italy and 3)Germany. Thanks for the video,cheered me up...I've ran like Terry Fox the last couple days LOL

[jiannj]

Russian are totally fucking donkey all I can say...

[lucidmindful]

Stupid ass FUCKING Russians.....That is FUCKING BULLSHIT now.

[Masterphonic]

Best poker related video I've ever seen. There are no words to describe the stupidity of Russian poker players

[AlSaliari]

lol dude you are funny as hell this video and how to play pocket jacks had me laughing so hard I love your videos....and who ever doesnt think youre playing for real money is a stupid jackass

[pikajojo2]

6 russia hate this vid.

[Rickwright0001]

Tournament indicator doesn't work on play money as far as I know.

[RikiMartinee]

Hilarious video!

[concain]

That soprano's episode is freaking hilarious.

I've had so many bad beats today that I just wanted to youtube (yes, the new word like googleing) someone elses bad beats and found your videos and it made me happier, kind of lets me laugh at myself in third person, you know, because it's not easy to do when actually getting them beats at the table. But now I can't go back and play because I gotta get the Sopranos dvd out and watch that episode with russians because it's way too good!!

[scarz889]

hey turtleknife go check out russians are gay by rucka rucka ali.

[mrbm1619]

ur vidz are cool dude keep it up u hav a fan here matty! lol

[lomkankayfa818]

lmao russians just keep sticking it to u

[Robinsond7]

This video is hilarious! Oh and on FTP in tournaments, there is no dollar sign...it's real. Thanks for continued funny, entertaining, and educational videos TurtleKnife!

[maris1993]

i just hate those russian , ukrainians....they just play like shit....and every time they win against me....once i had AJ...and a dumb called me with 5 2 suited....flop comes 8 of spades J of spades 5 ....i raise almost the pot size....something like 1 dollar.....he calls me....and the next cards...2 and another 2....fucking russians

[wokoouu]

dave997

1 month ago " @TurtleKnife if it was real money it would have $ infront of all the players stacks and bet amounts. It's not real money. if you don't believe me go on Full Tilt poker and see for yourself. The play chip tables have the amounts with NO $ sign infront. Only the real money tables have a $ sign infront of the nominal amounts. Please stop failing "

Haha.. This Dave guy is a Fkn joke.

I

[wakkerleven]

always the Russians..

[d3th2u]

HAHAHA ... nice video.  Guess its not just me who get repeatedly screwed.

[Cife86]

looooool thanks dude, it was a lot of fun

[doggieGZ]

Hahahah funny video.

Glad to see you still posting videos. Although we're missing seeing you playing the $10 Sit n gos.

[Mulroydon]

video his hilarious.....this is his ring game stats...dude barely plays poker

I looked up his playing stats.

[aleek13]

i'm russian but that's was funny

[holdemkingz]

those russians are crzy online...

[geniusjas87]

In soviet russia, poker plays you!

[jiannj]

i got sucked out twice by russians in micro one is AA all in and the russian got Q4 and he hits trips Q, the other one is QQ vs AJ all in after the flops and turn, then he hits an ace on river.

[jiannj]

Russian always play aggresive and always suck out on me on micro stakes!

[dave997]

nice play money

[jiannj]

@dave997 its real money dumb russian.

[dave997]

@jiannj it's not real money, if it was real money there would be a $ sign infront of the amounts. In play money there is no $ sign, in real money there is. Go on a full tilt account and see for yourself. Try harder to fail better. You look like a 40 year old virgin living in your moms basement btw

[TurtleKnife]

@dave997 It's real money. Have you tried it before?

[dave997]

@TurtleKnife if it was real money it would have $ infront of all the players stacks and bet amounts. It's not real money. if you don't believe me go on Full Tilt poker and see for yourself. The play chip tables have the amounts with NO $ sign infront. Only the real money tables have a $ sign infront of the nominal amounts. Please stop failing

[TurtleKnife]

@dave997 Oh Brother, Dude. Have you played any online tournaments? That's the way your chips are displayed. LoL @ Please stop failing.

[boxersbeatbrawlers]

@TurtleKnife

i call them flushians. always calling out of position with anything suited. :) Its funny, because I really do play later when most euros are sleeping, but the russians are always awake!

Aside from the observation: many players collude in apartments with laptops and wireless broadband sticks. I dont play any sng games online, full of cheaters and table trolling colluders. I dont recommend any single table games there, and small mtt tourneys as well. Best be safe with larger mtt.

[FletcherHabit]

@TurtleKnife lol great performance when you stood up frozen in disbelief ..like how it went to blank n white too .

[FletcherHabit]

@TurtleKnife Just a thought but maybe why building it up in your mind youre actually attracting it? Im no devotee of Depak Chopra or anything but Ive experience similar things in poker and in life ..anyway love the videos and gl to you in your games (with and without Russians )

[BlanBlan19901990]

@dave997 Only cash tables have that $ sign in front of players stacks. Tournaments do not. Please stop trolling.

[theloveshack18]

@dave997 Wow man you need to pay a little more attention to detail b4 you open up your big mouth... Go play real money tournaments on full tilt and you will notice that there are no dollar signs next to the chip stack amounts... Dipshit...

[vvoozer]

@dave997 hahahahhahahahah

[KaitonsCorner]

@dave997: Not a cash game, knucklehead - it's a tournament!

[47jaxn]

@dave997 Wow, u are officially the most dumbest person on youtube. Do your research before opening ur fat mouth idiot

[Rickwright0001]

@dave997  It's a real money tournament you tard ass, and Turtle plays almost 99% tournaments to my knowledge.