Survival Guide: Shark Attack

[ICriedWhenEchoDied]

Yeah. Poke the shark in the eye. That's totally not gonna piss out off.

[jade732100]

So if you get bitten and ur bleeding wouldnt the blood and splashing from swimming just attract more shark

[GroBom78]

LOL 'playing dead leads to being dead'

[BananaDude97]

Or choose "C = Taste like shit and it will spitt you out"

[IXfuriousXI]

Like Im gonna look for his eyes then try to poke it while getting attacked in the extremely clear sea

[123baseballrox]

guys, shark arent so bad. If a guy walked into my home only wearing a speedo, I would probally attack him too.

[skaterboy0206]

i urinate in its eyes and it retreats

[DownMushroom]

@skaterboy0206 What do you have a urinal infection?

[skaterboy0206]

@DownMushroom no estupido defense mechanism.

[NightsareStarry]

has anone noticed that the answers are always.... B?

[thesweetbex]

@NightsareStarry -not in the spider

[LittleMissJmoo]

lol play dead... "ohh im dead shark im dead dont eat me" .. " oh hello their you're just playing dead so im going to eat you anyway"

[skaterboy0206]

play dead ofcourse

[johnadamsparsons23]

OH YEAH. FUCKING CHALLENGE IT!

[Mysticmus]

Yeah, right. Try poking it in the eye, while it's mouth is wide open, and ready to attack you. Imagine how fast it can charge!

[MrChannel5news]

@Mysticmus

he said eyes nose or gills dummbass

[DaGamer500]

@Mysticmus its your best chance what else could you do

[MrTeapot213]

they should put a disclaimer.... "results may very"

[MisuOfArabonaClan]

what's up with television ??? this series haven't been very stupid in the last 30 minutes I was watching it...anyway WE WANT MARK O'SHEA !!!!!!!!!!!!!

[underpass1887]

ooh good

i will go try that :)

[locoindio]

this is like saying the best way to survive a bullet leaving a gun is to get out of the way. people don't stand in the way of sharks, confront them, and then go for pressure points. this is marine life. not the dojo. the best way to survive a shark attack is to not go in the water by yourself and to do so in only clear water where there is plenty of visibility. also don't make yourself look like a seal or a turtle by hanging your arms and legs off the sides of a surf or boogie board.

[BrandonB8B]

why are sharks, like the deadliest in the sea?

[randomjoe333333]

@BrandonB8B actually its the octopus but they rarely attack humans

[MultiMonk911]

how can you go for the eyes if you are being attcked. and what if you have nothing with you then what if you hit the shark with your leg then you will only have one leg or arm

[iStutterbug]

Or you can try option epic and become Chuck Norris.

[staannley]

Alot easier said than done

[Svippster]

How come no one was recorded accually going for the eyes then? Why should we believe that it would accually work?

[moons160]

@Svippster

Because they are dead before they can go for the eyes.

[Svippster]

@moons160 Exactly. 

[GamingNerd007]

Heres a better way..... stay outta the ocean!!!!

[MrMasterarms]

Yeah right, i'm not gonna wait and think.. "heey, hold on ive seen this on national geographic!If a shark attacks me i should go for the eyes!" the truth is if a shark attacks either one of us the normal reaction that humans will do is either scream,punch and kick.. well.. if the shark hasn't already bitten them off.

[MouthofSaurons]

@MrMasterarms well then be sure to direct your punches or kicks at the nose of the shark, just like you learnt in this tutorial

[MrMasterarms]

@MouthofSaurons if punching and kicking are still an option :p

[FSUfanatic11]

E. Falocon punch!

[Kingdedede77]

D) Be lucky TV shows scared so much that you now never leave your small town/City and go back to watching World's Dumbest... while eating chips.

[MrClawzy]

D) Start singing Friday.

[Spid3rFr3ak]

Oh yea that happened to me and did all of that and got out alive... MY ASS!

[MegaHolymoly]

D: Run away, lmfao.

[xHacMan]

You have to have some serious balls to punch a shark in the face

[jojokomojo]

pray you are rebecca black

[SuperMidnightNinja]

D) Call For Chuck Norris

[pragzter]

ugh bite-curious sharks...

[taylordbeatz]

Survival Guide Shark Attack

A) You're fucked

B) You're Fucked

C) You're Fucked

D) You get major pussy after surgery

[hollywoodboulevard1]

Most of Sharks Specially white sharks dont attack human being because for them our blood its to acid and most of times when sharks attack human being when we practice surf because they think that we see lion the surfing bord attracts them so be carful the most of attacks happend in Australia and LA

[moons160]

"A bite from them can literally cause life....AND LIMB!!"

Right, because losing just your life isn't so bad, but life AND LIMB?? Oh god no!!

[dagger100222]

@moons160 Lmaooo, exactly!

[Lilicool09]

most sharks are like

Shark: hmmmmmm what does this taste like?

Person: HOLY SHIT

Shark: -bites- opps sorry -swims away

[SuperDevilsdelight]

A) I splashed him and he bite me!

B) I poked him in the eye but he got angrier!

C) Im already dead damnit!!!!

[CommandoCo]

easy to say...

[djeskolive]

Yeah well, sharks will be sharks... They have a fucked up sense of humor, dont they?

[godsfuneral]

Cartman says go for the butthole.

[HugsKissesAndDreams]

Yet the eyes are so close to the mouth...and the mouth is so close to the teeth....

[THENOSAUR]

if he attack me , i would charge and swim towards him and bite

[blazer640036]

ewwww.....honestly i would hate to poke the shark's eyes...they're probably all gooey and gross....

[cason1994]

er...demonstrations please?

[Dzaster1500]

dam nature you scary!

[VasilisaDragomir1]

Wow, those comments are entertaining xD

[Pressilia94]

we kill 180 million sharks a year and they kill 5 humans a year...so sad

[AwsomeKevo]

i tried this and the shark bite my arm off before i could wtfninja poke him in the eye

WTF!!! D:

[extremeskillz12345]

wat retard will actually try this

[ViperActionGaming]

@extremeskillz12345 why would you test it? if you were attacked would you let yourself die or do that and have a higher chance of living?

[Tbone9053]

None of those answers is gonna work when it's ripping you limb from limb. Screwed.

[picklefist1]

i seriously wouldn't be thinking go for the eyes if getting attacked by a shark. I'd just be like "holy f******* sh** THERES A SHARK WMNJNSUFJSDFNSDFFJFJOIFJ!!!!!!

[dubhappy87]

suck his penor to survive human attack

[WadonMurder]

I hate the sea/ocean

[D5932]

It's hard to go for the eyes when mouth and eyes are so close

[captaingreek]

@D5932 hit him on the nose.he will be unconscious for a while.that's what i've read :)

[TheDeleonFamily1]

Hahaha lol all these comments are funny rofl

[megaplayboy007]

poke the eyes, from the inside once it eats me or how???

[Deadcombat]

@megaplayboy007 No shark can swallow you whole, but if hes going to bite you or has bitten you, call it a mother fucker and hit his eyes.

[tropicallanterns]

*Poke*

[RandomGenericComment]

11 people lost an arm to the shark cause they went to punch it in the nose... AND THEN IT OPENED ITS MOUTH AND ATE THEIR ENTIRE ARM! fucking retards

say ur a shark, swimmin in the ocean. u see a human, out of curiosity, u swim up to the human, and then he/she pokes u in the eye!

"well damn, i just was wondering what you were, but u gone and pissed me off, didnt u? yup, its time to eat, mutha' fucka'!"

[stixflix06]

Get real man, if a fucking shark attacks you, what's the chance amidst the colossal anxiety, panic and pain (not to mention seeing under water) that you're gonna be able to poke its eye. Might aswell face it, you're brown bread.

[LB5694]

Another reason why black people dont swim. SAFETY FIRST

[raulurrutia]

@LB5694 because they cant swim lol!!

[LB5694]

@raulurrutia lol if you can't swim, you can't get eaten by sharks, you can't drown, and you're generally a happy LIVING person with fully functional WHOLE limbs. Same reason why black ppl dont bungee jump or become daredevils.

[Nelieciamasis]

paused it. and i'm deffinetlly going for the sharks motherf*cking eyes

[MrRude01]

D. Don't go to the beach. Just play Call Of Duty.

[stixflix06]

@MrRude01 BC2**

[darrenwks]

Before u could strike its eyes u would probably already lost an arm or leg.

[MrGoodJason]

playing dead leads to being dead

full of win lol

[HAVEAKITKAT]

'You can skip is Ad in 5 seconds.'

I WANT TO SKIP THE FUCKING AD NOW!!!

[soccerfreestyler2148]

lmfao sure

[TheBigfatliars]

the only reason they attack people on surf boards is beacause they look like seals

[CasinoMafiaBoy]

D: Stay on the beach and watch people get eaten, its much more fun!

[MrLb1029]

survival guide ostrech attack a) strangle it till its dead b) run away c) fight back  the answear would be A!

[WillingToPooNvm]

how bout d) bring a 50 cal. rifle

[Merchendize]

You forgot D....

Fart and hope it goes for the bubbles

[evapleska]

@Merchendize

hahahah i read this comment and lauhed in class, my teacher got mad :( :P

[SafZako]

yh didnt you guys know that? while ur voilenty attacked by a great whites jaw which has idk somthing said 3 or 4 throws or teeth that go backwards ur loosing alot of blood, you hav the time & paience to look were its eyes are ( while being dragged down in the ocean ) through all the pain blood and misery you can simply look were its eyes are and POKE them, it is sure to win your survival.

[artpeacemaster]

sharks acually mistaken us for fish and seaturtles, when a person is on the surfboard it thinks your a seaturtle, and when you splash it thinks your a seal or somekind of fish, i read this in a shark documentary.

[superladygagalover1]

hmm what if he bites of ur arms....... do u poke it with ur foot?

[LegoPower333]

Throw justin bieber at it until it screams and runs away

[shaneedawsonn2]

@LegoPower333 rolf lolol u really made me laugh out loud

[XxInfiniteflightxX]

@LegoPower333 Shark screaming like a lady lol

[FSUfanatic11]

@LegoPower333 yeah im just going to grab him out of my pocket if im ever in trouble

[synotick]

@LegoPower333 its swim mate

[princess147899]

@LegoPower333 FUCK U HATER ... LET'S THROW U IN THERE 

[lolzorz8]

fail would be if ur arms are too short to hit his eyes rofl =p

[dwyabam]

Survival Guide: Stay out of water.

[carolz321]

oh shit, i always thought you were supposed to splash violently like a wounded seal!

thanks for clearing that one up ;)

[symodiezel]

ummmmm c) play dead...and drown?

[deenman23]

how to survive a shark attack: YOU DONT!

[falconbility]

It's always B...

[kaptinkrunch47]

IT's always choice B..

[d19t85]

@kaptinkrunch47

Tarantula and elephant are C.

[MasterChiefer1337]

secret option D mate with it and make fucked up offspring

[johnthesencond]

What would happen if i bite into the bitch.

[9ineAxis]

Rip its eyeballs out :D

[KrisKhaos]

How to survive a shark attack? Option D. Throw your ex-wife at it. (and swim away)

[panfrick]

haha, dude kinda sounds like Snake

[megashadow99999]

but what if u can't swim faster then a snail moves

[FireProMMA]

Brock Lesnar F-5'd a shark. That's probably the best strategy.

[InfiniteKiller101]

what if it rips off your arms? :o is head butting a good substitute? xD

[SoulGangsta18]

what would chucknoriss do?

[Fr3aKBG]

@SoulGangsta18 eat the shark

[JAGGED0000]

D. Stab it's head

[jacoblewis100]

ITS ALWAYS B well the ones i cn and i cn 2

[erin051]

before u go swimming, make sure u eat huge amounts of broiled egg, and then fart

hard! it'll make huge bubbles wd stinkin gas in it. it'll drive the shark off. yeah! considering they have freakin sense of smell. XD

[abbababbaabba]

he's so full of shit "1:11 - the will bite a person just to know what they taste like" OH YEAH. They want to know if we taste chicken or dog.

They are curious! they bite at everything. if the would have seen a floating car they would have bitten it.

dont swim with sharks if you are scared

[bifileeman]

how do u swim to shore when ur missing a leg?

[ottou22]

Step 1 : Don't swim with sharks.

[thosekidscallmerye]

i personally think everyone of you guys would hit the fucker in the eyes.survival skills kick in when your panicking

[kk1993kk]

it always is b, freakin boooring.

[bishketflux]

Well if shark attacks you, you should try to hit him with your legs, and if your a bit lucky you will hit him in the nose, if you arent lucky your foot will end in his mouth...

[Heemsky]

so your telling me to poke him in the eye while im probably going to end up with 5 fingers? or 1 palm or maybe 1 arm? well lets see you try it first >:(

[Susanspaw45]

i can identify almost every kind of shark there is,and,i kno only great whites stick there head out of the water,AND if you cant reach its eyes, and if you have an airtank or something, try to go for its nose.if it was 4 ur life, i think u would try 2 strike.but one way u can be safest is 2 not go down 2 where u cant touch the bottom believe me ive studied these 4 2 years

[Upscalemadness]

What id do

A.Splash violently

B.try to get its eyes

C.bleed to death

[Assasins30Media]

wow none of em a rite i choose

E. Get RPK start shooting everywere and swim away with a teleported boat :D

[WillyWonka641]

I have swam with hammerheads and one or two great whites before WITHOUT A CAGE. and yeah i got attacked...i diddnt go for the eyes..i got a knife out of my suit and stabbed him! (PS i still swim with them.)

[Touristo07]

If a shark attacks, you die :|

[rubiks15]

I have seen a Great White in person and I know for a fact that you being able to hit him in the eyes is being lucky. Even IF you were suspecting it was going to bite you you would have a very slim chance never the less if he got you by surprise!

[theunholycrown666]

Shit advice. A great white shark has protective membrane that covers its eyes when it goes in for the kill. Chances are, you won' t do it much damage and besides that, when you're in water, you face a lot of resistance when swinging your arms and hands so chances are, you won't really get a great deal of force in your blows. Your power is pretty much laying within a third to a half than what you have on land.

You'd probably be too shit scared to move to be honest.

[giometaxas]

Survival Guide: Human Attack

What should you do when a human pokes you in the eye?

a) Run away ( Wrong, doesn't matter if you swim a lot faster, still stay there)

b) Bite his arm off before he wtfninja pokes you in the eye.

c) Keep your teeth in your mount and pretend you're a dolphin.

The answer would be B!

:l

[TLJthethird]

Another way to survive is to simply stay out the damn ocean.

[imnewdragon]

just leave the shark alone... their more scared of us than we are to them

[louis1152]

@imnewdragon i believe you mean spiders, not sharks.

[Susanspaw45]

@imnewdragon no,u idiot they arent really scared of nothin dont be an idiot

[d0ghome]

@simbakiller123 u should stay calm unless it attacks u then u poke it in the eyes

[barrowscasper12]

ok... I CANT POKE WHEN MY HAND IS BITTEN OFF >.<

[pittasboii]

@barrowscasper12 dont you have 2 arms lol

[barrowscasper12]

@pittasboii na been bitten off by the shark ;p

[Skimmer6t]

That's y I have a gun shoot that bitch like bambam

[MetalHeart8787]

what the Hell? most people are gonna be freaked out & not think of

oh just Punch them in the eye. hard to see under water, swimming away, shark would easly catch up to you. i would work if you have scuba gear on & were upright position & saw the shark coming towards you. a good spear would help too

[berserker912]

lol the answers on this series are always B

[worldofmig]

@berserker912 Not the one with the elephant, it´s c

[Liomessirox123]

Hmm... I'll go for D. Guess why? Give up? Ok, here's the answer. I chose D cause I will shit and say 'Ooo is that chocolate? Oh yes it is!' And then I swim away roflmao!

[Liomessirox123]

Heh oops i mean the shark says 'Ooo is that chocolate? Oh yes it is!' Heh my bad! Man, I got pwned!

[gut197]

I try to remember that when im being forced under water panicing and trying not to pass out from the pain

[metalomania91]

Ok i'll attack the eyes of a great white while it comes underneath me with 50 miles/hour...ok that may be the best option but i dont think that you would able to strike it's eyes until it grabs you from your limbs or something, which means you're a gonner... or or or or you can go with D. swim in the sea and not the ocean...

[rosered316]

What about answer D. Call Chuck Norris to roundhouse kick the shark in the eyes?

[ninjaonpot1]

or keep an underwater phone and call chuck noris

[Reaper796]

E:Shoot him with a B.B Gun

[Tang0Fox1]

I have a better idea Stay out of the water with sharks.

[middimar]

sounds sooo simple...def i will be deprived of oxygen, probably will not see much under water, and have my limb bitten off before i reach an eye or 2.

[renzokata]

yeah sharks dont really like the way humans taste, by the time they figure that out tho, its too late.

[BoneRomania]

How to survive a shark attack? Well, the correct answer is:

D. You can't.

[dodid0]

i thought it was "go for the nose"

[Adriennerules10]

Well idk dude I'm kinda confused i just remember studying that sharks are very blind creatures so I'm kinda confused how the shark spot a person hella randomly

[Svv33txFTW]

@Adriennerules10 Smell and hearing

[Adriennerules10]

@Svv33txFTW where is there ears?

[popepalpatine]

the only way ur gonna survive a shark attack is if the shark lets u live

[Adriennerules10]

i thought the answer was play dead

why would you go for the eyes? if they're already blind creatures I'm confused?

[Svv33txFTW]

@Adriennerules10 umm if your were blind and someone stuck there finger in your eye would you be in pain?

[kakanunulala]

@BoggiLand fuckin funny

[DamianKenny8]

That probably won't work. Sharks bite very fast.

[narutofan966]

It's amazing that while sharks kill on average only FIVE people a year, we kill upwards of one hundred million.

Funny how we kill twenty MILLION times as many of them as they kill us...

Stupid humans.

[patsflysfan2]

JAWS - Very great movie.

[glass6786781]

wouldn't you be to nervous to attack the shark?

[Vujicicqq]

0:30 That eyes is so fucking scare !

[megadrummer17]

yeea... alien

[MageDagger]

I read all the 402 comments, thats how funny they are.

[HoudDenBek]

Just pollute the ocean until they are all dead

[texaspete66]

how the hell can you play dead under those circmstances ?

yeah poke its eye with the one arm you have got left too

[diablecita]

You can only pluck its eyes only when you have the f*ckng animal biting you, no other way.

[morgan7csundin13]

tried it....doesnt work !!