Giving Flowers | David Mitchell's SoapBox

[darkridr25]

I used to buy roses for my wife on a whim for no other reason than "just because." People would assume I did something wrong and was apologizing, and were always shocked when I told them that simply wasn't the case.

She never appreciated them, or anything else I did for her. In hindsight, after being divorced from her these past 8 years, I don't believe she ever did love me, or that she was able to love anyone.

I wish the pain would stop....

[iamtheju]

40 cats is too many cats.

[Sboy200]

.... anyone else think David Mitchell could have any woman he wanted???

[superwin930]

I challenge everyone reading and everyone who can't read to hear me out. Give up some flowers to a old person because we need you!

[soundslave]

Flowers are not just for you wife/girlfriend. You can give to friends and family too.

[WhichDoctor1]

At 2:48 I thought he said "love in absinthe", which still sounded quite victorian in a way and more fun :-p

[ViveLeRamen]

Fact: David Mitchell only owns one shirt, or at least many of the same shirt.

[Izaak247]

I don't give a shit what ppl think about me and thats a good thing.

[Gabagabe1]

I have given flowers to a girl once, I think I even wrote a poem to a girl, once. Needless to say, it takes a certain kind of girl.

[slashfilledmind]

They're not for you, I'm holding them for a florest.

[z3r0t0l3r4ns]

I never understood the reasoning behind giving someone flowers.

Demonstrating your fondness for someone by violently ripping something beautiful out of the ground and making them watch it slowly die?

But, like most of the conventions of our culture that I don't understand the logic of I've never had a problem giving them when society deems it appropriate.

The only one I won't ever let go of is the engagement ring. Not until you silly bitches admit it's how much it costs not how shiny it is...

[UtubeSuper123]

I keep wishing someone would give me flowers one day, but no one has or does.

[Azyashi]

@UtubeSuper123 ⚘⚘⚘

[mightymole2]

She should've set up puke points.

[WritingJenny73070]

I love flowers. No one except my friends has ever given them to me.

[abcediting1]

Please stop posting direct quotes from the video I instinctively read the top comments while an ad plays and it ruins them!

[corbraz]

He always wear the same shirt. O.O

[deldulin]

This is perfect. I agree with every single thing he's saying.

[TheBestCommenterEVER]

Best reference to Stalin ever

[Rita3500]

David...it's the thought that counts. Sorry about the girl...:(

[HolyWhisp]

I yearn for a good seeing to!

[PEchidna09]

I've just realised he has a lazy eye. Huh, 5 years I've been watching this guy.

[celestialsalamander]

what do red tulips mean?

[bainbonic]

He's right. I don't care what people think but I am a strange, hyperactive kid with prone to talking to myself and known for biting people. Thank god I don't care...

[MizGoddessgirl]

i think listening to these videos had made me cleverer

[mysticwindfairy]

'Girl perspective' I love getting and giving flowers! I hang them upside down when they start to die and dry them out so I can keep them. I still have a rose my husband gave me while we were dating! They're bragging rights for girls. It says "my b/f is romantic & yours isn't"

[LaLongeCarbine]

@mysticwindfairy or it could mean "i hate nature... i thought you might need proof"

[leafy666]

I refuse to buy or recive cut flowers, coz you know they will die within a week or so.

Potted plants are the way forward! if only I remembered to water them...

[slimmmerman]

I'm a pacifist, I do it for the smiles and reactions and I do it weekly! Try it, its a lot of fun!!!

[whowantsabighug]

Giving flowers is just saying 'i want to screw you', since you're basically giving them a handful of reproductive organs.

[DocumentsRus]

Note to self. Don't read comments until the video is over. It only spoils the jokes.

[kostbill]

[...] or: "your mania for the Collectivization of soviet agriculture will surely cause the death of millions" LOL.

[Hopeful71]

I have taken to giving girls (& now just my wife) plants instead of flowers. I understand flowers are pretty but are so temporary & pointless. A plant provides a longstanding value which, by nature of the fact, provide a longstanding reminder to the lady of me & my gesture.

Now with the wife I buy her trees....talk about a longstanding reminder :)

@85 years old; "Lets go sit under the tree you bought me after you puked on the carpet"

[MudScarf]

I hate how everyone seems to word things just as David would after watching one of his videos. It's the same people who think they can kick all kinds of ass after seeing a Bruce Lee movie.

This is a phenomenon so ridiculous, I wouldn't mind seeing David address it in a future video.

[jsvramirez1]

@Hopeful71 Yes, I have considered plants, but they require the recipient taking care of them. This seems rather insensitive to me. "Oh here, I like you, so I'm giving some extra responsibility above and beyond your current responsibilities, and just for good measure, I will be examining said plant to make sure you take care of it, as it will be the measure of how you think of me. No pressure!"

[Arkantos117]

I hate the people who think it's a good thing to have no shame -.-

[jgilb100]

lol i never give flowers, willingly

it's a small policy of mine, they are boring, clenched, pointless and stereotypical

typical flower giving:

"hi, you are female therefore you are to be impressed by these green stems, and look they are a different colour at the top, and if they are fresh they might even have an odor, yeah i know i couldn't be arsed thinking of a real gift but here is a gift for the sake of a gift, all you have to do is put them in a vase and throw them away when i am not there

[MintyInTheSky]

@jgilb100 Well, if that's what you're thinking when you give a woman flowers, it's definitely a good thing you don't do it.

[Cennobite1]

Seriously get rid of those stupid ads of youtube. I do not want to see clips of crap films with that tit from Twilight.

[cbrusharmy]

I once gave flowers to two women at the same time. This shifts the perception of the occasion from being overly romantic/personal, to simply being sweet, while still letting them know that I fancied them in some way. Incidentally, I did turn up in a war. Damn, he's on to something.

[cbrusharmy]

I yearn for a good "seeing to."

[ec123456789able]

maybe he doesn't like flowers.

[Aepullo68]

I've been watching consecutively at least 10 videos of David Mitchell's soapbox and I must confess smthg: if I ever meet the damn irritating under-paid low-life that presents the show with a voice he imagines would be the one a bulldog would have if it ever decides to speak english, well, I'll sodomise him with broken glass...

[ghostmadlittlemiss]

The problem is, I really try not to believe that what other people think about me matters and I'm now worried what they do think about me because of me trying not to worry about it. With a bit of luck, this should create a paradox that cancels each thing out. Or it could blow up the universe. lol

Kayleigh

[IoEstasCedonta]

I've found the best use if it's gone wrong is "it's not romantic, I've actually just become a hippie."

[nooldgrandmaclowns]

i wonder if flowers is a metaphor for his dick?

[Aprilshowersss]

I have no desire for flowers. If my hubby wasted money on roses for me id ask him wtf was wrong with him. If you are going to give my random plants make it an herb or something I can cook with.

[ItsOttis]

43 people can't keep up with his insistent ramblings

[preytec]

i liked that, but i wish he was more angry, his outbursts are epic. when he gets going he's the best in the world

[Sajjdawg]

After watching this video I actually appreciate the act of giving flowers even more.

To have courage enough to jump in without a safety net is quite an achievement, and also quite flattering to the person in the receiving end. Whether he/she accepts the flowers or not.

[WilmaBridget]

I find what he's ranting on about in these soap box monologues really funny, however I hate the set up - the fake background and the stiff read from an auto-cue style. :S

[NorwegianDirector]

I like this guy. And I love Peep Show, but this is a bit too scripted and stiff to work very well.

[alexhamster1134]

@NorwegianDirector yes, if you havnt noticed yet, thats his style.

[NorwegianDirector]

@alexhamster1134 On this stuff, maybe... Not on Peep Show.

[VamLoveAndKisses]

I gave some flowers to my friend when she was ill, and to a director I worked with on behalf of the entire cast.

[hestheman929]

Collectivization joke!!!

[4at4ish]

no actually i DON'T think the Chinese are UP to something

[jenko4292]

Thumbs up if you got the bit about napoleon

[mooxim]

extravagantly sick lol

[OldKnute]

Oh now,, the gift of flowers is no trial to ones status or even masculinity. David, be freer with your heart. Blast, what others think, it is your emotions that matter, and those of the recipient of the flowers. Hello! Oh and by my experience, flowers are indisputably a winner every time. You needn’t go to a florist either. Wild flowers, gathered along the lane seem to hold special meaning, “Here Luv,, I gathered these for YOU.” And so on.

All the best

Knute

TR Knudtson

[ELuhn]

@OldKnute No, I have to agree with David on this one. I gave some flowers to a girl once. Once. She didn't even take them and thank me in a polite but distant manner then throw them away at the first opportunity. No, she flatly refused to even accept them. So I took them home with me, and nailed my hand to the kitchen counter to take my mind off the pain a bit.

[OldKnute]

@ELuhn Dearest ELuhn. I am OLD,,, a man,,, not gay, BUT if you had the heart and tenderness to bring me flowers,,, (in the off chance),,, I would have been touched to the core,,, PLEASED,,, and would have found a vase to prominently display them with pride. I am sooo sorry this thing happened to you.

All the best

Knute

TR Knudtson

[l3awl3ag]

"I yearn for a good seeing to" .. Nice lol.

[ghostmadlittlemiss]

Does anyone else think that 'I Won't Send Roses' from Mack and Mabel could have been written for David?

Kayleigh

[psilocyberspaceman]

When I was 14 I picked some flowers for a girl. She happily accepted them and put them in a vase. As we sat in her room enjoying my harvest, I suddenly realized that the flowers were crawling with lice. Now isn’t that sweet?

[psilocyberspaceman]

@psilocyberspaceman Of course, it could have been worse. It could have been her hair instead.

[debluemonkey]

@psilocyberspaceman Apparently all the cheap flowers have a deficiency (Or disability) which is why they are half price in the first place.

[suitandtieguy]

this guy has not given flowers often enough.

[bechaa01]

iris's please!

[MelchiahTheObscene]

I did give flowers once, and only once. It did not go well...

[LetsGetFizical]

They were dandelions, you bastard. I'm still in debt.

[jezza1234567]

The adverts kill your ears with earphones in, thanks for that. Sounds like someone getting a nail and engraving it into the nearest garage door.

[regorris]

Tee-Hee. Balls-out hard man.  *snerk* That's awesome!

[MrFilthy99]

David Mitchell shares his views "in private" That's the one I'm looking forward to.

[BRADERZ2008]

and 40 cats is too much cats lol

[moss824]

I'm holding them for a florist...lmao

[agbook2007]

So true!

[GLoBeTree1]

feelings are never more real than when sex is taken off the table

[Antzcceltic1]

LOL so true man XD

[viridismonasteriense]

Flowers are the easy apology are they not? Isn't it a bit contradictory to (in another video) say that men shouldn't wear fancy things and stick to the easy tux, because then we don't have to put effort into it, but doesn't taking away flowers mean we have to find some other way to say you're sorry and men will be forced to put more effort into it and florists will be out of a job.

[q00u]

Alright, you've talked me into giving flowers.

[inVinceible16]

Adverts on youtube = shit crack.

[phiphers]

he forgot to say flowers are plants vaginas

[Francis2061]

I'd like it if David Mitchell bought me flowers. I would also like it if some of the friends who've been sick in my house over the years would bring me flowers by way of an apology.

[darthkahn45]

Thankyou David!

[sparklebabies]

stare at the top left cloud pretty sure its a cat...

[iSeePwnedPeople]

@sparklebabies omg haha it so is

[GREENWOLFPRO]

There was a story in the paper the other day about a man who gave a woman flowers and she had him arrested....unlucky

[marinturk]

This guy is annoying and not funny.

[pvuf431]

@marinturk rectum

[LeaveItToPsmith]

Oh god, that Stalin reference just made me literally laugh out loud.

[Dekan]

@daddsr1 I hope not, I like him :)

[ruarimacd]

Don't think about it 50 no's and 1 yes is still one yes , just get out there to get in there ;)

[TheMarkd]

Lilchojo, he admitted his mistake, leave it at that mate

[keeviesboy]

laughed so much I really ached, great video more please

[LilChloJo]

LOL at @southrules, you truely are an idiot.

[andypandyzangetsu]

Oh my gosh I laughed so hard at this! Because last week I actually did give flowers to this girl I fancied even though I have never spoken to her. So my friend showed me this video and.... LOL

[percdann]

It go well?

[mrbeanaswell]

@andypandyzangetsu so, are you an alpha-male? A balls-out hard man?

[jorenvonk]

@mrbeanaswell Seems like I am. Is that good or bad? :P

[mrbeanaswell]

@jorenvonk you decide. In Mitchell's opinion, bad.

[fecto3210]

@andypandyzangetsu Did she like it?

[skatejam7]

@andypandyzangetsu how did that go?

[TheBigEase]

@andypandyzangetsu romance is for relationships, not courtship. ;-) let her earn it buddy.

[xKitsune]

"Oh these? I was just taking a cutting from a Dahlia bush" haha, these rants are great :D

[iliketha]

everyone knows the chinese are up to something

[SamuelEllmer]

lol, oh the audacity of an American to say the English aren't funny! (directed at @southrules)

[TheManiManson]

HA!

[olderpersonage]

is this supposed to be funny or is it a rant? either way, i think he should stick to peep show =/

[TheHarminderDhak]

You didn't see the humor in this?

[olderpersonage]

I did see it...but it just wasn't funny. He has written much better stuff is all

[JoshRobertson142]

@olderpersonage

you're an idiot

[southrules]

Holy God, the english are boring. Jesus fucking Christ, this is entertaining HOW??

[Cheddarrs]

@southrules Go fuck yourself. Seriously.

[raccooneyes55]

Don't like it, don't watch, beyatch

[puretroubleman]

lol, I like how you equate this 1 person as a spokesman for us all.

This is not as funny as his other stuff, check out peep show and 'would i lie to you' for some of his other projects.

[southrules]

OK, you're right, I did forget that Monty Python stuff is genius. I was just grumpy, my bad.

[ytwatchpagetester]

good

[wra7h]

wtf happened to peep show, it just stopped..

[tacticlespasm]

@wra7h

The episodes all stop suddely after about 27 minutes, and the last series ended suddenly at the end of the last episode.

It still exists though, and more is being filmed.

[stationy2k]

???

they did a series 6 and now they are working on 7

[aaron9992000]

@wra7h how do you mean theres been a new series every year

[wra7h]

i mean the newest season just... stopped... like there was a story going and theres been no new ones.

[fieldmarshalhough]

i wish someone would give me flowers... cowardly bastards...

[CodeMaker2011]

@fieldmarshalhough what;s war for? he asks; "an allegory to help men work out how to succeed with women"

brilliant!

[Zoomarinful]

@fieldmarshalhough

If you´re female I would give you...flowers,but I guess Field marshalls are too cowards to play in the real field.

[hellojef]

Hes looking good. Looks good after loosing some weight. Hes awesome!

[tehunf0rg1v3n]

oi i

[tehunf0rg1v3n]

smatter noob

lol noob

ye ryt noob

noobster, boobster wankerster -

put them together and wat do u get?maxine dillon in a dos hous

[dom234156]

love david mitchel, but he jabbers on a bit :L

[JamesCreedMusic]

@dom234156

That's what makes his style so good (:

[BalsamicWeevil]

dom234156: that's kind of the point of these videos

[gibbokpl]

/watch?v=4ul9uAgPvF4

Great video check it out!

[Mrfroth]

lol. Funny. always the pessimistic outlook on life from david!

[ESKARA616]

love David XD

[duhRANDYPETERScanal]

Umm, disappointing. Never once posted a negative comment on u-tube, but i really don't see what the fuss is about this monologue. I guess I just don't share his (rather timid) perspective on the world/romance...

[Samboy666]

when is this on Tv . its amazin i think like this too

[resington]

Intelligent bloke

[DanielQkillerD]

i just found out about this channel, and as soon as I did, I subscribed.

[longbluefingers]

@DanielQkillerD ditto

[XIIOniOokamiXII]

@DanielQkillerD Same here . this guy is awesome

[gypwin]

i still love romance and music at the age of 62..check out my new music video..hit on gypwin and make an old crooner very happy..cheers

[EmmaXSkellington]

CaraBrimleyRules; how can a video be a sexual action? I'm not one to argue via youtube but that insult really doesn't make sense.

[TheVioletDarkness]

marry me

[foetus4all]

I'd give him some flowers. Man flowers. For his vase.

>:D

Although really, this just goes to show that you can't be too careful.

[TastyBrick]

The last gift I bought a girl was a cheese grater.

[J4KEH4M]

@TastyBrick: nothing says I love you like a devide for grating cheese

[J4KEH4M]

"Divide" was meant to say "device"

[malarbusto]

@TastyBrick Kinky

[jamesandrew62]

Real wisdom

Not a loser but a romantic fool,

However, better a romanticising poet than a fool alpha male.

He makes a blunder that a romantic male is foolish from fearing consequences of over thinking flower giving,

Who cares what she thinks!

A good kind gesture; let the flower decliner carry fear, not a generous giver

What is there to fear in genuine kindness?

Women love flowers, regardless of a givers rank or file.

Bringing us back to war & Great alpha males?

Save a flower for his grave.

[DeKmGaming]

Is this meant to be poetry?......cos its shit.

[LazarusTheTree]

@DeKmGaming

Are you properly retarded? As in diagnosed with actual mental retardation? It's not supposed to be poetry and a 3 day old zygote could tell that.

[Kaneoism]

that was a beautiful poem, if that what it was

jamesandrew62

[lulukufor]

A tad harsh, jamesandrew62. You do realise he's a comedian, right?

[brewmarrybore]

He's talking about the spontaneous giving of flowers and defends the giving of flowers in a relationship but giving flowers is unacceptable in all situations. Why hack the heads off of living organisms and subect them to a slow long lingering death? Land used to produce flowers would be better used to produce food. Third world countries with no food should not be growing flowers for western supermarkets. Oh sorry its not meant to be serious. Yeah men that

do well with women. Bummer!

[jerrygreg2]

Hack my head off and death should follow quickly...

[NotaBeetleFan]

@brewmarrybore Well my snoozshiboo gave me yellow roses and I gave him a doggie bear. <3 <3 <3 ~~<@ ~~<@ ~~<@

And now he has been working on a new bathroom for me. It's so pretty. ;-)

[danloony555]

haters, go die in a hole

[Faniibandit]

:O

hes awesome -.-'