Charlie Brooker's Top Ten Biggest Cocks and She-Cocks in Advertising... Ever!

[Dungarth]

..I want to stage a Holocaust re-enactment outside Michael Winner's house and then say ''Calm down dear, its a commercial'' to him as he gasps in Horror.

[RyanGiggsOBE]

i want charlie brooker's voice to provide a constant monologue in my head all day.

[jonnybridge]

I could cheerfully murder those fucking annoying cunts of that D.F.S advert.

[rhizomaton]

"You consonant-vowel-consonant-cons­onant." Priceless. Because a gentleman never calls a lady a C-U-N-T.

[TheBurtons06]

"No, Pat, we won't forget it, we'll never fortget what you did here today, you stupid turncoat whore"

[tvandbeermakehomergo]

your not accepted here you bastard!

[Cpt50Caliber]

Nothing like some Charlie B to cheer me up :)

[reagansmash9000]

you consonant, vowel, consonant, consonant HAHA amazing

[VegassTrades]

That black guy's in the armando Ianuchi Show

[TheRoversReturn96]

"no pat we won't forget it, we'll never forget what you did here today you stupid turncoat whore ! " :P

[JCDenton112788]

Hahah I typed "top ten dicks" and this was 1st..........oh wait....this IS about dicks...DAMN.

[SailorTaurus]

Oh god I remember that DFS advert. The thing that annoyed me the most about it was the fact that THEY WERE FUCKING GREENSCREENED. Apparently it was too hard to get these people to actually sit on their sofas.

[Cpt50Caliber]

@SailorTaurus

Oh god they are.....fucking hell thats just.....fucking hell

[PorkIsHalal]

I think that is his O face.

[GerbilCole]

You consonant-vowel-consonant-cons­onant!

[TheEventfulNut]

"I think he's gonna fuck her"

"Orgh, she's gonna fuck him"

"Orgh, he's gonna fuck her"

"Orrrrgh, she's definately gonna fuck him"

"FUCK HER!"

"FUCK HIM!"

"SOMEONE FUCK SOMEONE!"

[weestuburns]

@TheEventfulNut Why don't you type the whole 5.20 script? Sad fuck.

[fishbaitism]

If the other coffee is sooo bad, wht did she tea-leaf *ahem* swipe it into her paper bag!? ;P

[ph1980]

"yeah, but you weren't allowed to tell mummy" lol

[QueenBonesofdarkness]

@ph1980 that bit made me LOL sooo hard!

[frogambassador]

"PAT YOU B!TCH"

[alextharrisoncc]

PAT YOU BITCH

[MrGran2]

"I don't know a prick with some chips in his hand?"

[AnishaLeahB]

"Oh someone fuck someone"

I love this<3 soo funny(:

[topsonneedsdad]

Stop talking about coffee and start fucking!

[DeadlyNightShade60]

my lungs are on fire this is so funny XDDDDD

[MrEifla]

What's the music playing at 0:56? :)

[furryeye]

Ive got the same mugs Pat's drinking from at 1:22. I hope that doesn't make me a stupid turncoat whore by association.

[southsydney]

@furryeye less by association, more by nature

[massmurder7]

calm down its only an abomination

[Vix847]

Pat, you bitch!

[Nogli]

I think I actually cheered when this made a surprise appearance on the show when it first aired.

[wombat989]

225 likes no dislikes? Well done

[andee5000]

Sudoko Face

[Sonic2347]

@jakedizzle Yes it is.

[jakedizzle]

Is that Gold Blend guy from the Buffy TV series?

[fourperson]

I already knew Nickelback sucks...but now i'm just gonna avoid them like the plague they are.

[TheCowbiscuit]

Pat you BITCH!

[gingerhunter55]

"No Pat, we wont forget it, you STUPID TURNCOAT WHORE!" God I miss Screenwipe :(

[chocomog35]

God I love this man. Just read the entire 'Screenburn' front to cover in two sessions......amazing.

[TheLonesomeJack]

yes yes yes yes yes yes best <3

[massmurder7]

someone fuck someone lol best line

[EddieTheFishReturns]

Ooh, poor Pat.

[Maccie1985]

They don't serve Gold Blend in Milan,

[smellyknee]

"Stop talking about coffee and start fucking!"

[dmpcornwall]

So glad that Picture ad turned up in this list.

[alexface211]

"Oh GET a room!"

[soupalex]

Oh god didn't need to be reminded of Winner's "O" face :(

[umar699]

"look if you dont fuck her im gonna come around and fuck you" LOL

[noapologiesnoregrets]

"...oh get a room!" yuck!

[katexscarlet]

"pat you bitch!"

[mrslmathers]

Hilarious. I always found that Werther's Original grandad really sinister as a kid.

[TonyBranston]

There's something inexplicably hilarious about the bleep.

[DragonHunter8000]

0:28

Ho-ho. Hee-hee-hee-hee.

[kisbie]

On the documentary A Life in Pictures, Sydney Pollack says that Stanley Kubrick became fascinated by those Nescafe couple ads because of how they told a story so quickly.

[DidntKnowWhatToPut1]

"If you don't fuck her, I'm going to come round and fuck you..now!" ahaha

[Iwakugeth]

Charlie nailed this for me 0:40

[nightside242]

You consonant-vowel-consonant-cons­onant.

[smitty618]

su-doku face

[Slayton1978]

You consonant, vowel, consonant, consonant

[bruzzy77]

I don't know about you but I feel good to be alive.

[cjddalton]

No we will never forget what happened here today you turncoat whore!

[Dr34msp4c3R3c0rd5]

" i can still remember how special i felt when my grandad gave me some of his wonderful love candy." ... " Yes but you wernt allowed to tell mummy were you" AHAHAH

[lukas316815]

someone fuck someone

[Ga11agh3r]

" PAT YOU BITCH !!! "

[Camelhoun]

You're not accepted here YOU BASTARD!

[theskilled99]

Pat you bitch!

[oscarelgy]

dont see any loan ads now, wonder why?

[geography27]

The bloody Lombard Direct advert wasn't in it!

[wthdoiput]

this is just Mr. Brooker telling every company to f&~k off, but it's sooooo funny. :P

[SPeacock]

@wthdoiput Charlie should run for PM. :)

[MrSpiddy]

All loan companies must be burnt at the stake. Not just for their ads, but for the fact they're arseholes.

[Spinking11]

'imagine a loan that leaves you free to live your life'

'and spend it paying back alone'

genius

[HeadlightMorningGlow]

"Y'know what I mean, Harry?"

"Ah FUCK OFF."

[vetro9]

@HeadlightMorningGlow pretty sure he says eric..

[Saternalius]

@vetro9 Nope, he definitelys says "'Arry". It's a joke about Frank Bruno's catchphrase to boxing commentator Harry Carpenter.

[antonb1983]

friendchips COCKCHIPS MORE LIKE!

[jayrcoe]

hilarious!

[kavyman1066]

Bloody DFS advert started using that song just after the radio stations just stopped playing it on seemed like a continual loop. I don't mind Nickelback most of the time but that song grated.

Brooker is a Genius!

[zionravescene]

LOL Screenwipe goes into TV Burp territory at the end.

[EvilgidgitReturns]

Sarah Jane, that's not Nescafe!!!

[jonnybridge]

God!... Those cunts of that DFS advert, shoot them!

[SmithersJones87]

Friendchips? If I had mates like that, they wouldn't be mates at all, I'd be overcome only with the urge to punch them repeatedly in their twatty, unfunny faces meself.

That is all.

[griffin7564]

ugh 4:10 that one just ruined the song for me

[jambii]

i fucking love this

[yousurfer2]

I'd !**k her but it would probably have to involve Gold Blend

[Wenicle]

2:55 is the best.

[Burnzy8418]

The woman at 4.01 used to teach me Drama =D

[gmgc81]

"You're not accepted here you bastard!"

[sailorcuteness]

don't know about you but im realy glad to be alive

[biomoon64]

Bet nestle bosses wear the same shit eating grin while they murder thier workers and poisen children. Shit faced fuck munchers

[GeorgeA213]

i love Michael Winner's face at 0:52 =)

[Stresemann19]

bet you do you QUEER.

lol

[CrazyRoho]

LoL... that was hillarious!

[fitznicely]

The song is great too -

Everyone In the World is Doing Something Without Me by Future Sound of London.

Brooker has consistently AWESOME taste in music.

[mediadeems]

pat you bitch!

[Raggamuffin88]

Get a room :p

[MentalSentinel]

Friendchips?

COCKchips more like!

[jinxthecheater]

stop talking about coffee and start f*****g

[ShitStains7676]

"Alright, if you don't fuck her, I'm going to come around and fuck you"

*raised eyebrow*

[VexooxeV]

Haha - ''Ya know what I Mean arry? ''Oh Fuck Off''

[fauxfound]

sweet butter candy from my grandfather, what a beautiful phrase. :')

[RescueTheSlags]

just eat the fucking crisps!

[d4yogurt]

are the people in the dfs advert codcks just for their shit dancing?

[Earls20]

i dunno a prick with crisps in his hand?

hahahahahahaha

[TJis16]

Hahaha one of the funniest screenwipe comments ever-he must of been in a bitter mood that day.

[domandmattsmagic]

pat you bitch!

[jb00513]

Not that funny.

[lordmccardle]

You missed out that bastard from Halifax

[Gulftastic]

Just F*** her, Ripper!

[generichybrid]

You stupid turncoat whore!

[ozsem]

I knew it would get to number one.

What A COCK!!!