Added: 4 years ago
From: 2gryphon
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  • smurf porn? lets search that up... o god

  • Thumbs up if you want to skip Christmas and see a stoned Muppet lizard orgy!

  • The beginning of the video is all the more hilarious with Youtube's snow thingy.

  • Wait... You mean that Christmas isn't the time I'm supposed to be a lazy glutton, enviously and lustily staring at expensive and useless products that I greedily wish to horde for myself while getting angry about how I'm probably just going to get a bunch of useless crap from people I don't like. Well damn... At least I can feel a little pride in knowing I donated two dollars to the salvation army.

  • wow :o love this video

  • I have been pointing this lack of good will to people a lot lately. And gift giving? People should give gifts because they want to and not wait for one day to do it. Gifts should be unexpected and should really make someone's day.

  • Does the holiday season still make you want to puke?

    Yeah, me too.

  • i want this guy to go on 4chans /b/ for an hour then rant about how fucking retarded the people are

  • Horrible sound:(

  • I love his epic angry face at 0:28 (although he brings up a really good point)

  • Some idiot snorted it all up, in theory.

  • dude i just bout ran out of breath laughing. you are awesome!

  • It's George Bush Jr.'s BRAIN!

  • WAIT, SO YOU'RE TELLING ME I CAN HAUL MY LITTLE FURRY REINDEER ASS OUT TO A CORN FIELD AND SHIT RIGHT THERE? WELL THEN WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING THE FUCK HERE????? HUH?? TELL ME YOU FUCKERS! OH RIGHT, I'M STALKING THIS SHIT SO I CAN BE _HAPPY ONCE IN A WHILE_

    do you even know why I'm not happy?

    I HAVE TO BE IN THIS F'ing WARM WORLD

    IN MICHIGAN

    IT'S _SUPPOSED_ TO BE FUCKING COLD HERE

    LIKE CANADA!!!

    JESUS FUCKING CHRIST I HAVE TO SHIIIIIIT

    NOW EXCUSE ME, I'M GOING IN THE CORN FIELD NEXT DOOR

  • I blame the marketing..

  • My Favourite thing about Christmas is that most my family are there around one table not being ass holes to each other :)

    i have to see them sorta separately so they are not ass holes :)

  • Fuck yeah, Smurf porn!!

  • "Could it be a tiny guillotine?" xD

  • Hah... yeah thats all I could muster.... find some original material and learn to have wit sir.

  • I actually got into the "real" Christmas spirit this year. I was in a wonderful mood and tried to spread it around a bit and pull some of my friends out of their ruts since eeeeverybody seemed to be in a nasty mood around here for some reason or another. Hell, I even tried to keep it going even after Christmas but it's really hard to be optimistic when everyone you come in contact with is bound and determined to stay in their emo corner. I swear Christmas spirit just said "eff this" and left. >>

  • A friend and I linked this to our Facebook pages on Christmas eve, wondering how many people were gonna call us Scrooges or heartless, boring bastards (which we are, don't get me wrong). None. Most people posting there agreed entirely with this. The only reason we carry on with it is because it's good business and God knows I need more space in my closet for the wave of crap I knew I'd get. Socks, t-shirts, aftershave, stuff that I'd get myself anyway if I even wanted it.

  • dude im in NH and there isnt fucking shit!!!!! this is where snow fricken starts!!!!

  • Agreed. I think its a good perspective to believe christmas should be earned. Makes christmas that little bit deeper. I personally hate the fact that all these corporations are using Santa as a selling point. When I was a kid Santa meant more than simply presents on christmas day, but now hes being used on all the TV adverts selling paintcans at the local DIY store. Sad really.

  • that box is too big for george bush's brain xD

  • i'm about to sound like a... i duno what the fuck i'm about to sound like but whatever, i honestly belive i try to show good will to other people. i also agree with what 2 said. i just felt the need to state the fact that i agree cus this is youtube and some asshat is going to give me crap cus they missinturprited what i said.

  • ^w^ does anyone love watching 2 bitch about random stuff as much as i do

    hes so funny

  • ^w^ does anyone love watching 2 bitch as much as i do

    hes so funny

  • You know, I'll do it this year- perhaps it's a bit late, but it seems worth it to do that.

    And I actually do already keep the Christmas Spirit- just about from the day before Thanksgiving all the way to the 31st of December. Then I have to worry about the alcoholism and retards going on about the endtimes.

    Ugh. It's gonna be hard, but I'll do it...

  • Trust me dude, if you think not having snow on Christmas is weird, go to Oz. We celebrate Christmas here in 40 degrees Celsius frying a couple of sausages on the barbecue OUTSIDE.

    Haha you are funny as hell. I love your rants. :D

  • Oh my so awesome, right to the point!

  • Keep that look! You look like hte spitting double of Kane in Command and Conquer

  • You don't have much where I mostly agree with you, but 2, if I wore a hat, it'd go off here. I try to see Christmas more for the religious purpose, but even so, on a broad view of society, it's like you say, a routine. I don't think snow is that big a part of it, since half the world is in summer during Christmas, but one day is really too little for us to stop Tysoning everyone's ears.

  • Christmas spirit = money for already wealthy assholes who are fat enough that if we threw them in the arctic ocean not only would they float they would survive better then a whale!

  • You could bitch about Christmas advertising starting before halloween, which in my opinion is a much better holiday, except when you grow up.

    EXCELLENT POINT: Christmas is about making kids learn to be good to get stuff.

  • holy shit man. thats funny as hell. and true

  • maybe its george bushes braaaaain...... man you had me there. you made me fall off the chair laughing till i cried xD

  • Loved the ending!

    -Gabe

  • dude you look like Kain

  • You are my inner concious... 0.o

    Holy crap.. You are like my none-expressed self. That's awesome! ^_^

    You should do a rant on how much we hate people who think they're better than anyone else.

    Because they're worth a F**KING OLD SHOE, THAT'S BEEN COUGHT ON FIRE, SHOVED UP HELPLESS ANIMALS @SSES, F**KED BY HORNY FIFTEEN YEAR OLDS, AND THROWN AT OBAMA IN THAT SPEECH!!! (lol what?)

  • lol cheap beer and smurf porn X3

  • Fuck Michigan weather. 2 days ago it was pouring, hailing, and sunny. AT THE SAME FUCKING TIME.

  • @adude027 O.O DDDAAAAMMMMMNNN! 

  • @adude027 O.O DDDAAAAMMMMMNNN!

  • lul when i first watched this and he said farting pixie dust out our ass. i had been letting them rip all day XD

  • god your right im tired of that

  • You should make a rant about people ranting about people that rant o.O

  • It's Michigan. You should know better, 2.

  • that mustache is amazing

  • I don't care if you're a gay furry aetheist, you make sense

  • I love how you get your point across, I really do. You're actually trying to do good for mankind. There should be more people like you around here, I agree with everything you've said on all of your videos. Every single one.

    Not to mention your stand-up is hilarious. ;]

  • Actually Christmas is the STOLLEN winter soltice of the pagans.

    Yea great idea celebrate a day which was STOLLEN and turned into the birthday of the human sacrifice that was needed in order for the all loving gfantasy god behind it all to love humanity again.

    Oh and the polar caps on mars are melting TOO! Are humans responcible for that as well?

  • @PastorIblis Not yet. but we will be. american will do it first. ^_^

    btw, I love god as much as the next person who couldn't give less of a shit about religion but seriously, you are missing the point of the rant. I'm just saying.

  • HALLE-FUCKIN-LUJAH!!!!! Preach on 2 you are freaking awesome!!! Oh yeah the Flying Spaghetti Monster with his Noodley Appendage says Hi

  • So true, and I love the way he puts it too.

  • that one was funny and truthful amen to that !

  • I agree with basically everything he just said.

  • that's so true!

  • i love how 2's head like it's missing the top half lol

  • you only tell the truth

  • Initiating reply...

    Concur'd...

    Reply complete.

  • wow man, i thought you were gonna turn out to be one of those douche bag scrooge types but you surprised me a bit there

    i fully agree with everything i just heard. its one reason christmas annoys me. 24 hours to wear a saccharine smile and then the worlds shit again. lets change it. i hope anyone that reads this or watches the video decides to earn christmas from now on and i will too

  • AMEN!

    Now, if only we could get the christians to start remembering that they aren't the damn judges, it could just happen!

  • you right about that :D

  • funny, good points, and i much prefer new years anyway. fires and explosions with friends and family ftw XD

  • How 'bout a Video 'bout beeing pisst off of pissed off people?

  • I think it's a great idea. Why don't you give it a shot? I'll watch it!

  • I'm too even-tempered

  • I'm not 'too even-tempered'! I can do it :D Do I want to maybe... should I fuck yea!

  • @2gryphon Hehehehe.

  • do you have video for your "hunting" and "vegetarian" rants?

  • lol this guy is funny:D

  • The same thing happened with christmas as with disney films: they lost their magic

  • you're completely right

  • Maybe for people who have grown up, but young kids believe it to be as magical as we did. Am I wrong?

  • hmm could be, but none of us has proof so it's still a discussion :D

  • You don't see kids saying "christmas ain't what it used to be". They love it now just as much as we did then. The "magic lost" is just a part of growing up. What's there to discuss?

  • they say that because they don't know what it used to be. I wonder if people thought that the magic was lost 50-100 years ago

  • If so then there must be VERY little magic left now xD

  • Kids alone aren't enough to keep "christmas magic" alive. They are the only ones who can enjoy it anymore then THEY run it.

  • Ugh. Please don't start another debate. I'm still recovering from the last one xD

  • 2 makes me laugh. ^^

    He's always so funny, and there is often a meaningful message in his rants.

    If he censored himself, he'd be a great motivational speaker. XD

  • He starts you off laughing, then leaves you with a thought that's very hard to argue with (Like anyone would try).

  • Exactly!

    If you listen to his speech from anthro con, talking about what a furry is, it's captivating. Like, I listened to it over and over again, because I heard something different each time. He's got a great voice, and he's easy to listen too.

  • hey! are you new to the fandom? I've seen your comments on a couple of other videos, and I just went on your profile, you at least only got a youtube account recently. anyway, if you are I just wanted to say welcome, on me and behalf of every other fur out there. y'know a bit of random kindness.

  • I'm not actually. ^^ I only made this account because I was tired of the name on my old one. lol

    Thanks for the kind words though! <3

  • i dont get it wat does the stopwatch mean

  • He means that people are so busy selfishly waiting for christmas that they've forgotten it's meaning.

  • MangaMascot

    and what is the meaning of christmas?

  • If you were never told as a kid, don't worry. Wikipedia is your friend. x3

  • MangaMascot

    Just answer the question.

  • Ooh, how scary. Don't you know? Being forceful often causes people to dig their heels in deeper.

    Human psychology is a beautiful thing ;)

  • MangaMascot

    Here's some human psychology for you.

    What is the meaning of christmas to you?

    Anything other than a straight answer and l send Leon.

  • Surely you should've realised after two silly comments that you're not going to get anything out of me with that tone? Shame, really.....I suppose Leon is your boyfriend?

  • You don't know who Leon is?

    As Gary Oldman said ... "Be careful"

  • Mhm. Very nice and all the rest. The fact is I'm still not giving you anything to step on, because that's obviously your intention.

  • Chicken.

  • Oh dear......should a man of your age really be setting such an example? Please be more civil to strangers.

  • Chicken once more. What are you afraid of?

    and i'm off to sleep now. No more taunting until tomorrow.

  • I attended a christmas party where they all fed on each others flesh..kinda like you explained..brainfest i think it's called..was fucking sweet.. you made a decent point to..love everyone for 24 hours then go back to not giving a shit..sad eh?

    Smurf porn ftw.

  • You should have came back to Michigan a month ago where it was fricking snowing like every other day.. maybe you should Rant about Michigans Abnormal Weather.

    Snow on Monday, Rain on Tuesday, Sandstorm on Wednesday.

  • wow. cool. good point.

  • hmm... You gotta spread the word about this..

    No..

    We gotta spread the word about this. Send this video to as many friends as you can, and tell them to forward it even farther. If we all chip in... maybe we will earn Christmas this year.

  • I can't actually imagine what a 'stoned muppet lizard orgy" sounds like....

    wait, got it. I wish I didn't, but I did.

  • "Maybe it's George Bush's Brain" LOL. Your Awesome!

  • Oh god *holds sides laughing*

    <333

  • I didn't celebrate xmas this year... I did talk to family that that's about it! and I'm still good... in fact I am better

  • Bravo sir - well said!

    ~Shasari

  • I agree, I work for a retail store...Its CHAOS!

  • Sigh now if we could only get this rant to suddenly take over the presidents next press conference >.>

  • yea, its no christmas spirit without snow :(

  • You're right, 100%

    Oh also, Ski Dude.

  • Again, you impress me. I'm loving you stuff, I just wish I listened to people that said you were good all those years ago, meh, hope you can forgive me now; I'll watch/listen to all your stuff that I've missed!

    Christmas is my favorite time of the year because people are nice to each other, they seem to simply calm down, even if it's only one day, it has something no other day has. And that's so sad, that I feel like crying for humanity. :\

  • Good sir,you are cooler than Jesus and Satan combined...

  • He is, but I dunno if he's as cool as Techno Viking...hey 2, can you dance?

  • Christmas is a very stressful time for most people. Most people can't make ends meet as it is. I love your honest wisdom on the subject of self righteous ego driven people. Who paint a smile on their faces during Christmas time.

  • HaHa funny dude

    i like this video alot

  • Sadly, this is soooooo true...

  • Hes right, when you can almost get your ass handed to you for a FN star wars figure round xmass time, it really dosent qualify for peacefull. Xmass brings out the best in some, but the WORST in a lot of people.

  • Nice gloves^^

    Oh, and great job.

    Finding these videos sure wasn´t easy... (or expected)

  • hehe. his bald is invisible.

  • Meh..I thought the america one was kinda sorta in the right direction, and funny too...

    This is just whinning though. I mean sure there might be something to it, but he needs more substance than just saying "it blows cause....so there!".

    Oh well, just my opinion anyway.

  • 2, you rock.

  • Talk about white.

    His forehead disappears into the sky...

  • they do smurf porn??

  • Internet rule:

    If you can think of it, there is porn of it.

  • in that case....ive got some googleing to do

  • That's why I celebrate the Solstice instead. At least it means something.

  • Actually Xmas is a hijacked solstice festival; there's no evidence for what time of year Jesus was born (assuming that he was). The early church in Europe had to wean new converts away from their pagan fun by providing alternatives.

  • DUDE Two thumbs up your freaking sweet man

  • If I was Santa, I'd be flying over dropping bricks on you bitches - hahahaha

  • I think someone had a bad Christmas experience as a child lol

  • You look like Cypher from "The Matrix", in this video.

    Also, fuck yeah Michigan, The Ted Nugent State.

  • the top of your skull fades in the background... it makes me smile

  • Snow? What is that? I spent my Christmas wondering why the ground was so BROWN, and I'm further north! The few people up here that recycle are mostly stoners collecting pop cans from the sides of the road for more reefer money.

  • Stoned muppet lizard orgy?

    I think I see what you did there.

  • Hahahaha! Oh man, not only do you make me lol but you've my brain cells actually work. I love the Santa stomping flaming reindeer crap motion.

  • This is as funny as afterbirth!

  • Haha,as a resident to MI I as well wondered about the snow. Your awesometasitc,keep up the comedy.

  • wait wait wait...

    "smurf porn"!?!?!

    what?

  • Ironically, they have that... ever hear of rule 34?

  • uuhhhh

    no

    (scared response)

  • Rule 34 is that if you can think of it, there is porn of it on the internet. There used to be an exeption, and that was Rosie O'Donall but...someone found something like that and...*shivers* I never ever ever ever ever ever ever ever want to see it.

  • lol

    WOW if someone can make Rosie O`Donal porn then...

    well, there really is a porn for anything you can think of

  • no george bush's brain would need a smaller box n_-

  • George Bush has a brain?!

  • One thing I've always found shit is that I was lied to as a child about Santa Clause.

    Why do parents think its necessary to lie to their children?

    I think a mom and dad telling their child:- "Honey, we bought you these presents because we love you and your the most important thing in our lives" sounds a lot nicer than "Hey, some fat bearded stranger in a red suit is gonna sneak into the house and put presents under the tree".

    Stop lying to your kids and just be honest and love them.

  • I thought he said "guillotine."

    I have mixed feelings about the Santa thing (which 2 covered in another Christmas rant a few years back). It's one of those feelings that's difficult to put into words.

    Also, I live in VT. Last Christmas was the first time we had snow on that day for quite a few years.

  • Ooooooh, guillotine, easy mistake. The way he said it, t'was funny.

  • I have never seen snow...........

  • I used to be in retail so I know all about the "most wonderful time of the year" which ends up involving everything he described. Everyone returning their gifts to get their money back, crying kids and being rude to cashiers.

    Don't remember seeing anyone's throat being torn out by using their teeth though.

  • 2 for President!!!!

  • Hahahah, I thought I was the only one.

    Seriously, I'm glad I'm the only one sane on that f**king day. While people loose their mind over a holiday they don't REALLY care about, I've been getting presents to my little brothers while go beat the s**t out of a FAKE santa that been harrassing me for years!! (I'm not kidding guys) But what to do this year?

  • Damn he's hot...

  • The point of Christmas is to pump out more hot reindeer anthro pics =P

  • WHOO!!!!!

  • I applaud this video! I find it ridiculous that people think they need any holiday what so ever to be nice to one an other. People should learn to spread joy and kindness all year long, not just limit it to just the holidays.

  • 2 has a plethora of fans strictly because he's a furry. There is no way this tired subject, overdone delivery, and awful material would ever stand on its own merit. 2 realizes this, and latched on to a subculture. Good for him on that count, but this goes to show that furries have absolutely no sense of humor.

    If you want proof, check the rating of this comment.

  • ...plus one? xD Personally, I think his rants are truthful and inspiring. Sorry if world peace isn't your cup of tea. (And no, I'm not going to humor you by demoting your comment).

  • People throw money at him on stage to keep him on it, i've seen it. It's obviously working out for him and he's possibly the nicest person i've ever met which is rare with people who are constantly in the lime light.

    Stop pissing on people just because you don't like their choice of lifestyle, it just makes you look jealous.

  • I have no problem at all with 2's 'choice of lifestyle'. I have a problem with him being a bad comedian.

  • By definition anyone who is paid to travel and perform comedy is hardly a bad comedian whether you appreciate his kind of humor or not. These rants are hardly all he does and he is an actual paid stand up comedian not just an online you-tube star.

  • Linkin Park+Top Cat MVs? Yeah, I figured.

  • I'm sorry you can't appreciate REAL art. It's probably your exposure to unfunny comedy =(

  • That must be it, if you can call putting two totally irrelevant things together that weren't even your creation to begin with "art".

    See you around, Mencia.

  • Look, "Dave", I can appreciate the fact that you're a badass on the Internet. Really, your profile scared the hell out of me and I'm having a tough time just typing this sentence through my cascade of tears.

    But liking a shitty (not to mention furry) comedian isn't exactly helping your rock-hard image.

  • But making a video about a shitty band with Top Cat, that's art, right? How am I rock hard by quoting Locke and Hobbes, by the way? That's about the last thing an 'internet tough guy' would do. Keep fishing though, I'm sure you'll find something, you silly Linkin Park groupie.

  • Hating Linkin Park?!? Ooh-hoo, look out 2, you've got some competition in the "raging against something everyone already hates in a desperate attempt to look cool" department.

    Regarding my video, way to fit the furry mold by ENTIRELY missing the point.

  • If what you were saying were true, he wouldn't have such a large nonfur fan base and I'm one of them. Yeah that's 2 all over, conforming to something everyone thinks. That's definitely how he got popular. Baby killing, making fun of races other than his own, animal torture. Those are all mainstream opinions, aren't they? What point did I miss, that little description? It doesn't even cross the matrix of satire compared to 2's show. Standing alone, it's still an MV and it blows.