Stephanie's Secret

[AngeliaClaire]

one ugly man

[walgar2]

You say you lost a lot of very good friends??? The hell you did! You lost supposed "friends" who couldn't handle your needs and dreams. I'm afraid you and I define "friend" differently. However, I wager you now define friendship differently than before. And I wager the friends you have now are better. Keep living!!! Cheers ... Walter

[celineisonline]

tu es très courageux! bravo!

[kaylee932]

i know exactly how u feel girl im the same as u.....love ya....

[Tigerpaws9097826]

Good wishes to you, Stephanie. While none of us gets a perfectly smooth journey through this life, those of us on a path like yours usually have a particularly difficult time. I honor your courage, and send hopes for much happiness in the experiences yet before you.

[100bulletrocks]

i do the same thing at every opportunity i go and cross dress. i sectch out every little thing and put it back exactly where it was. it gets hard some times. but my friends support me and give me there close and make up and stuff. thanks for shearing

[Belle19700]

You have to be who you are. What other choice do you have? You're brave, and wonderful. You're doing the right thing. You're educating the world. You are sweetness.

[debbiesouth]

Look at tit this way, it is another world,the friends you lost will be replaced with new ones. And that is a sign of progress of becoming new again. Estrogen hormone would help you on several levels, but really strive to be happy and be positive. *hugs*

[penhi12345]

thats so sad for you im really sorry for you sometimes its real sad for a diesease

[waterhornet]

Hey! No more crying! We do too much of that these days it seems. You're beautiful and well spoken and anyone who can't see that is too insecure to see ANYONE for who they are. Keep on smiling and laughing and being the best person you absolutly can be. : )

[NichiTube]

good on you! i choked up when you did... i just find it so sad (for you) you lost friends to this... i think after all the interior pain, they should of been there for you. You are better off without them... believe that...

[petshopp]

Just wanted to send you a word of encouragement. keep up the good work and always be true to yourself. many many blessings to you. hugs from a openly gay man in south texas.

[LucyFem3]

By the way: You don't have to be female to be beautiful. Look at the fellows on the video response. Only modern society has somehow reserved the word 'beautiful' for women while imposing it on them at the same time.

[Tabygrl]

You lost friends to. And, yes it hurts. But, also, you lost nothing that you could not do with out. Because if they refused to stand by your side during your time of struggle. Then they were not really friends at all. And you are much better off with out them. Grow, live, love. make new friends. Better ones. Live your life on YOUR terms now. Take care. *Hugs*

[Tabygrl]

I remember how I could not hide certain aspects of my femininity. The kids at school were merciless. I remember coming out. I remember the loss of a couple of friends. But, the gain of many others. Better friends. Things are so much better now. No one picks on me, and I have friends, and a life.

[Tabygrl]

I remember keeping track of people coming and going so that I could dress at home. Exact times for things. I remember memorizing rooms to make sure I put everything back exactly... I remember Holloween, the only day of the year I could be myself. I remember crying in front of the mirror at the end of the night while I took off my make up and became the boy again...

[Jensagirl]

Very strong message, I finally gathered up the strength to be myself and I also lost a lot because of it. I was not happy with myself but I sure am now. No one said being transgender was easy and so many are scared to come out because of what TG/TS have to go through.

Thanks for your courage.

[kampaamo]

I don't see what god has to do with this.

you are very cool, and i hope to be as strong as you one day.

[Clubkabuki]

I applaud your decision to live your life couragesly as you do. I admire your choice to be who you are inspite of what others feel and say. In the end, what good are you to the world if you cant be true to yourself first. Good luck in your transition. Your story is inspiring and encouraging.

[weirdman338]

1-Copy and Paste this message to 8 other videos

2-Go to your channel and look at you background

[kampaamo]

i agree, i really do admire you.

i can not even imagine the pain.

[sliphorns]

I will you strength on your journey. You had much courage to do what many would like to do.

Every good wish....Sonia X

[nzlook11]

I know something of this. My concern is that for some folk, there are learned behaviours that needs to be un-learned. Others, like my family member, are perhaps going to stay gay for ever. This was a bit of a shock to start with but now we understand more clearly that she never was interested in boys sexually, they were always 'mates'. we always wondered if she would be gay some day later in life.

[nzlook11]

God made us all. The Bible certainly doesn't condone sin - of any description. The underlying theme of the Bible is love and wholeness. My hope is that you will find wholeness in your existing gender, and healing. Send your first name and an initial and I'll, pray for you for wholeness. OK?

See, many people experiment with sexuality when young and some, perhaps cos of poor upbringing end up in same sex relationships

later in life. Perhaps if they were healed, they could see things better.

[bmw335hdk]

Everybody has its own uniqueness.

Being a trans gender is your choice. Life is a choice. You're now is your decision that you made it on your past time. There must be any reasons why you did it. I encourage you to live all the best for the rest of your life. I wish you all the best =)

Anyway, please visit DiscPalace . com ,you must be like it =)

[nzlook11]

To all you cross gender folk, I hope that you find the peace that you seek. What worries me is that I see cross gender folk that it hasn't quite worked for, where the other person wont die completely. There could be other reasons that you feel you need to change gender, I am concerned that you are lost.

[nzlook11]

I guess that love is the biggest of them all. The most beautiful thing in our world yet the hardest to fathom sometimes. I believe that God loves u and wants to know you, and have a relationship with u and heal u. God Bless U. I will ask God to reveal Himself to u!!

[sonicthecoolone]

That laugh is for all those who are so stupid and blinded by religion and God. Get a life, if you think you're good to go to Heaven why try to preach it? So you can try and make someone else believe such ridiculous shit as you to make you not so insecure about it?

[nzlook11]

Tis not about being better than anyone else. I see these folk and my heart goes out to them. Maybe, if they came to know Christ, they would find healing and security, that is my hope. I come from a screwed up background, and struggle in certain areas, as a lot of people do. I found God and I have an inner peace thats undeniable. Bless you all.

[sonicthecoolone]

Good For Stephanie for coming out, that's awesome. Why keep it a secret? Live for yourself, and those who don't accept it really are the ones with the insecurities and it's their own problem to deal with. Those who bring God into it, seriously STOP hiding behind Him and using Him!

[FlyAwayFre]

Thank you for your thoughts and kind words. Since coming out 7 years ago and going through all I have while dealing with life as a Transgender Woman I have found the inner peace I was so hurting to find and have led a much fuller life filled with love and compassion. As for those whom bring God into it, I must agree that they should not and rather accept each individual for who they are without judgement.

[nzlook11]

No judgement intended, trust me. I would b first to b incinerated if i were to b judged by my weaknesses. My life shows that God is love and brings healing to the wounded and binds up the broken hearted. ONLY SHALLOW religious types try to slam you or judge you. That is not the correct christian response. Knowing the Lord is the only thing of real value in my life, I want to spread His love to all!

[bmw335hdk]

nzlook11:

I know that God loves to all of his creature. I'm just wondering about The Bible that prohibits the transgender, and all kinds that related to it, such as transgender marriage.

[nzlook11]

Truth is, I am a rotten sinner, the worst of all sinners. YET God has raised me up! Why did he bother? Because He cares fo the world. The church is full of sinners! Being gender unsure is not a sin, it is just being human and a bit muddled up! Christ never rejects the broken hearted. He does, however reject the arrogant, self righteous and the proud with a haughty spirit. :}

[bmw335hdk]

Don't say like that. All of us is a sinner. We can find a few of the very best christians in church, such as Mother Teressa and The previous Pope, Pope Paulus II (Correct me if I am wrong), However I wish you all the best mate =)..

for you and your family :)

Would you mind to visit discPAlace . com

Don't just look, pick it up one at the best price. Amazon Satisfication Guaranteed

Thanks in advance for your reply, mate =)

[weirdman338]

1-Copy and Paste this message to 8 other videos

2-Go to your channel and look at you background

[VanWADebbie]

You have more guts than I do.

[deauzie]

me to

[urfree2bshe]

Life becomes meaningful when we stop hiding who we are and begin to share our inner world with the people around us. I was someone who hid my attraction for girls like you and lived a secret shadow existence. That all changed when I began what became a nine year live-in relationship with a TS. I could not deny the feelings I held. Now my friends, family and co-workers know and accept who I am. My life is so much better for it. Be strong. Follow your heart.

[dypie]

god made men to be men and women to be women. I don't understand what twisted thoughts made you try to chance your gender. In my opinion you need a lot of help, but you are brave to be as open as you are on the subject and that is honorable

[Tabygrl]

No one CHOOSES to be Trans. God made us this way. For what reason, we dont know.  But make no mistake, God intended us to be this way. He has a plan for all of us. This is just part of that plan...

[nzlook11]

God sent His son, Jesus so that we can know God and His saving love. Stephanie, you sound sad and lost! God loves u and has a plan for your life! Can be hard for us straight folk to relate to u gay folk. I have a gay niece and I love her deeply tho. I LOVE GOD and He seems to love me, now thats a miracle!

[sonicthecoolone]

LOLOLOLOL

[FlyAwayFre]

I appreciate your input and words of the Lord, I come from a Catholic background myself and can relate to your views of the lords saving love, but you seem to imply that I am lost due to not having him/her in my life. This is not true as is your implication that I am Gay, I am not. To be Gay I would have to believe myself to be a Man, I am not a Man but a Transgender Woman.

Thank you for your thoughts...

[nzlook11]

To vonhatenfeld in particular. I am concerned that you suffer shame. Im not judging you, I just want to help. I am a 48 yo male christian and to a certain extent suffer the shame of my childhood and an alcoholic dad. This is something that needs to be opened up and dealt with properly. Please get help, shame is a killer, this keeps on taking till your'e dead.

[t2212gf]

Hi Stephanie, I think it is great you have accepted who you are...some of us are still working on it. I relate to your story about waiting for the house to be empty etc. /as for friends not accepting you...they really were not friends to begin with were they?

[vonhatenfeld]

you sex dysphoria is linked to fear, mine is linke to shame.. I didn't start transitioning yet.. I feel so miserable and my hair is falling off.. it's such a condlict because I've 49% of a male mind..

[nzlook11]

Ok, what causes your shame please? What is the root, not the symptom? This is worrying, you may b stuck with your shame either way.

[vonhatenfeld]

thank you for you reply so much... the root I think is I feel ashamed of thinking that people will look at me and laugh or mock me in public if I try to transition and go out as a woman.. I fell so embarassed just to talk that. Can you help me?

[nzlook11]

Maybe. That wasn't what I meant, what I was asking was why do yuou think u r gay? [no offence]. I have a lovely niece who is gay. She grew up in a christian home, unfortunately the parents split up in her teens. She always was playing witjh boys, but never had any sexual urges at all to men. Now, she is in a gay relationship in her 20's.

[nzlook11]

See my last above comment first. I love my niece and tho I am heterosexual, there was a time when as an early teenager I began experimenting, myself. I guess for me I, became a fully hot blooded male. It's difficult to offer help but what concerns me is that people like yourself have a sex change and it doesn't quite fix the problems.

[nzlook11]

My concern is that there are triggers that people have happen to them that make them think that they need to change sexes. My counsellor friend says things like sharing rooms when early teen for example can provide a trigger. Perhaps poor role modelling, a failure to properly understand boundaries, a dysfunctional family - most families - can b triggers. Have u looked at these things really hard?

[vonhatenfeld]

..when I'm with my family my heterosexuality is blocked because they put too much pressure on me.. when I'm far from them in my house I feel more attracted to woman. I may be 50.1% herero and 49.9 the other side you know. As if there were 2 people inside my mind, it's a conflict that drains me, make me suffer, for I'll never be complete, I'll always have half of me missing. Like a dog runing to catch his tale. Sometimes I wish I wasn't born or that I die to end this. Or that a thunder make me 1.

[nzlook11]

Every life has value, we all have some problems or other in life, thats what makes our lives unique and not able to b filled by someone else! Tricky for you, I can see. DON'T DIE, please, OK?

[vonhatenfeld]

No, I won't do anything silly like throw my life away, but thank you for nice words. Yes everyone has problems, mine are disgusting, all that I have is an empty ordinary life, this conflict take too much of my time, I don't feel pity of myself, it just makes me sad that I don't fit in the system.

[nzlook11]

Are you a man physically or a woman physically please? I pray that you will come to know jesus like I do, and that for you that yoy will find wholeness in your current gender. God doesn't make junk buyt since the fall of Adam we were separated from Him. Now, we can come boldly b4 his throne because of Christs atoning sacrifice. This is MY JOY UNSPEAKABLE, that I knowmy father in heaven.

[nzlook11]

My real dad died when I was still at school, I am nearly 50 now. He was an alcoholic and really struggled with life. My life is troubled and difficult and I can get depressed because of that. Also my sister will die in the next two weeks of Huntingtons and I have the same gene.

YET, all my life God has been my strength in times of trouble. less you, may you find God, His love, peace wholeness of gender, and JOY!!!

[vonhatenfeld]

I feel so sorry for your sister and for you. I don't know what to say, talk to her as much as you can! Make a note of questions you want to make when you're thinking alone. Know her better. Life on Earth is short, very soon we'll be all together in heaven. I thank you for the nice words. My gender identity is female and my body male. Write me more.

[nzlook11]

My sister died yesterday. I have come to-again-realise that our friends and family is the MOST important thing in our lives.

[vonhatenfeld]

I'm so sorry for you sister.. be strong brother, now she's in a better place than us... and life is so quick.. very soon we'll be all together up there. She'll be happy if you live your life with joy! hug, light and faith

[nzlook11]

Thank you. Tis a tough time.

[bmw335hdk]

nzlook11 :

I feel sorry for your sister, your dad, and for you... I salute to you that you keep continue to your life until now.

Family is the most important thing on our lives.. God is also has been my strength to face this world we lead. I wish you all the best.

Mate, please visit DiscPalace . com ,you must be like it =)

[beancube2008]

I support uni sex but then I am only attracted to something because of myselves. Why are there so many of selves? We tried to deceive to material surface.

[Chermae]

if they were your friends...they would have stayed your friends..always find out who your friends are BEFORE you need them..this way when you need a friend...you know who you can turn to. its a lesson we all learn

[Jeffieboi]

I applaud you for being who you are. I'm not trans...but I kinda knew 2 people who were...and they were pretty cool actually. Fuck those people who abandoned you for it. Only poor people are prejudice.

[jelissajaconiworld]

AWESOME VIDEO X

[sputnik99]

I wish I had the strenght to do it as you did... thank you so much for sharing

[4UMe2We]

Thank you so much for sharing. Your experiences as a child, sound almost identical to mine. Just so you know, out of all that I have read, and out of all the people I have met, you are the only that has actually touched some really deep feelings in me from long past, that made me cry. Thank you so much for sharing. I truely appreciate this.

[weerobot]

Excellent...

[smlaurieanne]

thanks for sharing

[talentedlikethat]

i support u stephanie!

[chillsister]

Should auld acquaintance be forgot

And never brought to mind?

Should auld acquaintance be forgot

And days of auld lang syne?

The answer is yes. We grow, and we move on.

Good for you.

[ShaneWednesday]

Wow, that was great. I'm proud of you too.

[VanWADebbie]

I know what it is like to hide and wait for people to leave, so I can go out. I eventually will come out. I know it hurts Stephanie.

[loetje]

Dear Stephanie,

Thanks for posting this!It's very touching and i wish you all the luck. I hope that some of those friends will miss you, and will come back to you. You're beautiful!

[GenieP]

Discovering ourselves and then living our lives as our True Selves is a treasure beyond wealth, power and eternity. I feel your pain and rejoice in your joy.

[erikatirol]

Very touching. I wish you the best.

[nuclearswan]

Truly touching and moving, thank you for sharing that with us.

[tiaross]

Thanks for living your life, and for being yourself. You give me hope to fight with society and be just like Í always feel. A man.

Alex

[AKMCGRATH]

what a BRAVE SOUL YOU ARE...i EMPATHIZE WITH YOUR NEED OF HIDING SECRETS AND AM OVERJOYED THAT YOU CAN FINALLY TRULY BE HAPPY & AT PEACE.

I TOO, MADE A COMMITTMENT TO LIVE MY LIFE AS WHO I ALWAYS FELT I WAS AND LOST ALL MY FRIENDS.

BUT NOW I AM FREE AND HAPPY AND HAVE FAMILY WHO STILL LOVE ME FOR WHO THEY'VE KNOWN ME TO BE ALL MY LIFE.

AT 39 Y/O I FEEL LIKE IM LIVING MY LIFE FOR THE VERY FIRST TIME. I AM SO VERY HAPPY YOU ARE LIVING YOUR LIFE TOO!

*_*

[theistus]

Good for you to have the courage to live life as you desire, not as others demand of you.

[FlyAwayFre]

Thank you theistus for sweet words of encouragement. Warm, caring individuals like yourself are those who give me the strength to continue on my path.

Take care & stay beautiful,

Stephanie

[Kassandra1949]

You may have lost some but gained so much ..you are fantastic and loved Kassandra 1949

[FlyAwayFre]

Dear Kassandra,

Thank you for your sweet comments and warm caring words. It's people like you whom have made my transition from Man-to-Woman so wonderful and exciting.

Take care & stay beautiful,

Stephanie

[nzlook11]

How is life now, please? Have you found what you were looking for?