Zombieland Rule #33

[Zombinouze]

Hi you who love zombies ! My friends and I are tending a Bar at La Nuit De l'Essec (the n°1 party for students in France), our theme is zombies, we need loads of people to like our facebook page, so that zombies win the competition among all the Bars ... please, it will only take you a few seconds and will be very helpful for us !

[razberiix]

Love these vids, where can I find em all?

[yushigo12]

Rule #0 Kill Justin Bieber then the zombie!!!

[TheHomedog24]

@yushigo12 for when he/she or even heshe is a zombie,its the god of screamers!

[xmenx231]

Ten people had their teeth picked by Tallahassee.

[littlemoocowmedow]

FUCK ADS WITH A DILDO MADE OF SANDPAPER

[bananatea]

@TheCrissLol how bout fucking killing that JB fan zombie

[DeadSpace2Clinton]

i follow these rules rdr undead nightmare!

[samadams423]

@DeadSpace2Clinton lol im not crazy yes!

[camrcam2]

go with the swiss or go with America take your pick

[minidd99]

where's rule #34?

[KONARTIST1987]

Could it get out the peice of Orange i have stuck in my teeth ?

Well.....lets find out(Puts a machete in his mouth) =D

[iamsoooosweet2468]

Zombie Crowd Control: Barracuda 12-g Automatic Shotgun with grenade launcher attachment

[xNARAxCRAZYA55x]

Lol, i love this one...specialy cuz im a swiss ZL fan XD

[GuitarHeroMasterMind]

Did he died?

[Honu2122]

"Let's find out."

"Ok" -Opens mouth-

xD Lol, I can't believe he actually let him!!

[owain2222]

@Honu2122 r u surprised? who says no to tallahassee without feeling how hard he can punch?

[Honu2122]

@owain2222 :3 But it's Columbus, phobias ^.^ Haha

[edluver]

@Honu2122 Lol, would you say no to the guy with a giant knife near your head?

[07nader]

keep presing 1. lol :)

[shcnoozlebop]

hell, neutral won't save your ass in zombieland - i don't think even humans reason with their food.

[ThePeterbilt1979]

im with tallahassee

[soniclover456ify]

omg! Tallahassee put a huge knife in Columbus's mouth!!! omg!!

[megantronchan]

@soniclover456ify you get the joke there, right? mhmm "knife"

[soniclover456ify]

@megantronchan what joke?

[megantronchan]

@soniclover456ify ....nvm, you're not a shipper I guess

[soniclover456ify]

@megantronchan what the heck is a shipper?

[megantronchan]

@soniclover456ify fanfiction

[soniclover456ify]

@megantronchan oh. thanx

[megantronchan]

@soniclover456ify um....okay

[VIPassasain]

My rule: don't die

[soniclover456ify]

@VIPassasain lol!

[happyhelper2345]

I have a feeling Tallahassy is just going to shove it up his throat for fun and say " It was an accident."

[redodrago]

OUCH!

[TheEpicAir]

love the Bowe Knife

[TheMegaPrimus]

Talahassy: "Eh, We'll find out"

I just spit up my Coke on my keyboard.

[NH2Contents]

cowboy dude: lets find out

boy: OK! *Opens mouth*

*25 seconds later*

cowboy dude: dammit, im gonna miss that son of a bitch :,(

boy: me too...ive had that thing stuck in there for like 2 months now and i kinda just started to get along with it

cowboy dude: ...you seriously need to get a life...

[candy27cgc]

lol lets find out. Opens mouth. Later OMG WTF

[impossiblemanguy]

who thinks that the swiss arent fighting any wars because they are researching super soldiers with nuke guns in the army knives, fucking zombie super soldiers

[DeviousPsy]

if the swiss army really uses those knifes then no wonder they havent fought in either ww1 nor ww2 xD

[WarHawk215]

i have noticed that most zombie movies are based on drama and some even base on too much drama but here is one movie that is based on comedy and it AWESOME and there is also another one based on comedy and it is awesome too (i forgot it's name) so zombie movie makers should base on more then just drama and action action and comedy seems better combo

[kkc0161]

@WarHawk215 you mean shaun of the dead?

[WarHawk215]

@kkc0161 yes

[Onyxgirl1989]

swiss army knife :D

[Suwandi]

Thanks for uploading!

[bob1sded]

Arkansas toothpick lol

[wrightbrooks]

Zombieland was the best horror comedy ever, I'm so salty I didn't see it in theathers but I just bought it on DVD a week ago and I've watched at least wtice a day since I bought it, it's so funny.

[tarheelgirl641]

will find out *1 hour later* dude i think u got it!!!! *mouth starts bleeding* nah i think its still in there!!!

[GothQuick]

I cant find #'s 7-11, or 16-28, any ideas?

[draco1002]

Who else thinks it's funny at the end when talahassy says let's find out, and Columbus just says ok, and opens his mouth

[202cardline]

@draco1002 It's got shock value and a perfect comedic beat. I ran out of zombieland rules...Drat.

[EeveelutionStorm]

@draco1002 Well what does he have to lose?

[clg32861]

There weapons should be plants O.o

[Manny1222]

Ka-Bar! Exactly! PICK SIDES!

[Mr25assassin]

u know this was to be a show but they truned it into movie instead

if it was a show it would probabley be may favorite

[the62guy]

@Mr25assassin it would bemy fav 2

[MinyPiggy]

They can make a sequel or a billion Zombie Lands and I wouldn't get bored of it. If they make a show, I would watch ever. Single. Episode. (:

[16deadpool]

I love how Tallahasee just pulls a bowie knife out of NOWHERE!

[Jason9992fromroblox]

And thus' ends the Rule #'s

[renfrowm]

@Jason9992fromroblox Unless a zombie land 2 comes out

[Jason9992fromroblox]

@renfrowm Oh so true..

[Jonasone2]

@renfrowm well they are making a zombieland 2

[renfrowm]

@Jonasone2 are u for real

[Jonasone2]

@renfrowm uh yeah Im for real

[GangstaFromWestCoast]

fail xD

[Dethklok1122]

LOL HE STICKS THE KNIFE IN HIS MOUTH

[JustToCommentNumber1]

@Dethklok1122 why so serious!!!

xD

[icewhipRox]

"Open wide, let's find out!"

"Okay! *opens mouth*"

ROFL!!!

[MCLUVIN456]

i WOULD SET ONe on fire and shoot it at the same time

[tiLuc1695]

My rule is to never, NEVER set a zombie on fire, beacause instead of having a Zombie running at you, you'll have a burning zombie running at you, wich is realy bad...

[MCLUVIN456]

yeah my badd ...im stupid lol!!

[webb101094]

@tiLuc1695 ZSG, live by it

[XDraydenReapZX]

@tiLuc1695 unless you do cardio until he/her/it falls down and burns to death.Or killing sooner might also help your little sittuation bud.

[howlow321]

@tiLuc1695 Thats true and also remember: Blades dont need reloading.

[Kouta13]

Well, a Swiss Army knife would have a variety of uses... though, probably...not the best weapon against a zombie (Or in most cases, multiple zombies) because of it's short range. Outside zombie combat though, carry a swiss army knife, never know when it'll come in handy, only use it as a last resort against a zombie...because it's still better than using your bare hands against a zombie. : )

[calligraphyartist]

"Open wide, and we'll find out"

[jayson15458]

@calligraphyartist i love how he just says "OK!"

[DannyPhantomAbriged]

I love how columbus is just like

"oh okay shure I trust a kill happy loonatic who always talks about majorly disliking me to pick my teeth with a knife that would rival brock samsons." XD With how naurotic (cant spell) Caolumbus is you think hed cared about germs or some shit lol

[vathros]

where`s the next rule?

rule #34: there`s porn of it, no exeptions...

oh wait, wrong ruleset XD

[INJOI444]

Columbis run! Tellahasse powns

[Hungry4brains]

Just use a big ass knife... Who wants to be neutral.

[birdhouse000]

"well lets find out"

"ok"

[KimIsMissing]

was this movie gory?

[flamekid267]

Hell Yea!

[stuff5514]

@KimIsMissing Umm...kinda...but not that bad

[Whitelion211]

its called zombieland so yeah

[MoonstarThunderclan]

if you kicked male Zombie in the testicle area, would it still hurt them?

[flamekid267]

uh...0_o unless he got his balls bitten off, cut off, or shot off then yea probably but remember double tap

[anthonyr96]

lol nice double tap thing but sadly no. but that would be damn effective but zombies simply wouldnt feel it like if you cut off their arm they wouldnt feel it so. sadly id have to say no

[Doomsasukeuchiha211]

@anthonyr96 thats why u cut of its head

[anthonyr96]

oh ya of course i was answering someones question but ya you dont have to cut the head off nor do you have to blow a hole thorugh the head you just need to scramble the brain or take the panzie way out and go to the south pole and wait it out

[Doomsasukeuchiha211]

south pole woul be boring i would somehow make zombie slaves

[anthonyr96]

ya but in the south pole you can watch zombies freeze then fall apart

[ThePLP7845]

@MoonstarThunderclan

Only if its a clown zombie.

And only if you use one of those hammers people use at fairs to see how hard they hit by ringing the bell.

Once you see the movie, you'll understand. lol

[mondomadden]

I have a question. How would you blind a zombie?

[flamekid267]

stab his/hers eyes out DURRR xD

[xGypsy88x]

"Why be neutral when you can pick sides?" Tallahassee rocks!

[LTFrostbite]

Huh...Let's find out. OK :O

[TheJPOG]

he said ok at the end lol..

[JUlmanen]

L0L Columbus has no instinct to protect himself...

[banglor]

... we'll find out

[Vjsf1337]

"Why be Neutral, when you can pick sides?" XD

[lulxors1235]

hmm wonder if there is a rule 34..

[Minajiesu]

remember rules 1 an 2

[TheHobo91]

@origbodaddy

taken straight from the zombie survival guide eh?

[mrvlnetwork]

good spot

[Tardjei939]

11. Keep moving

12 stay in small groups not over 5

13. STAY AWAY FROM POLICE STATIONS!

14. have atleast two large knives on you like a hunting knife and or combat knife atleast ( one for food prep and one for defence.

15. also keep a large melee weapon like a machete or axe.

16. have lots of extra ammo in your SUV

17. scavenge

18. have lots of fuel in your suv

19. have lots of food in your SUV

that was some of my rules

[JimmytheTexan1441]

if it was a realistic zombie apocolypse, an suv would be useless

[shadowFIENDmuacks]

bet ur a nerd

[JimmytheTexan1441]

because i think an suv would be useless? wow your fucking retarded.

[Tardjei939]

My rules 1. Always carry atleast a main gun ( shotgun is my preffered) and a secondary (Colt 1911 or glock 18/17 is my favourites. 2. Keep moving 3. if you meet a woman you are going to get laid lol 4. swiss army knife 5. leatherman knife 6. carry a backpack in you truck 7. prepare before apocalypse. have a SUV wich will be e your home 8. have fun 9. die figthing 10. never make friends help you if you are overwhelmed tell them to run

[HotFuzz317]

id guess you could have rules but you also need a zombie plan which would include places to go were to get certain things stuff like that. you dont really have to keep moving just as long you are well protected. for melee weapons you dont want something that is to close cause i dont think you want to be in biting range and one of your rules stay away from police station i think it should be major citys and hostpitals and police stations may have wepons and ammo

[Tardjei939]

@HotFuzz317

I agree the police stations may have guns BUT where do people go first if there is something extreme happening thats a police station

[HotFuzz317]

yeah i agree with that but it would have to be one of those things that the person would have to decide on to take a risk to get that extra ammo and guns. but just saying to add hostpitals in there too i mean thats the worst places to be

[Tardjei939]

@HotFuzz317

I agree with that I would not go into a police station in a large city but in small towns it cant be that bad (less People less zombies) and Police zombies and army Zombies must be the worst though

[Minajiesu]

But zombies also walk away.

If there's no mor ehumans nearby, they simply go.

[Meep1111]

@Minajiesu

Not true. They do not really "go." They wander around. They only follow what they see as food. If nothings there, they'll wander until they find something.

[HotFuzz317]

and shotguns take too long to reload the ammo takes up alot of space, very loud attracting more zombies and very shortrange while it only takes one bullet to kill a zombie but have a combo of a series of weapons would work well

[lordgalesdeep]

instead of glock ump5 a machine fgun and grenades and a big thig of deoterent and a lghter and stuf that can go boom

[Tardjei939]

The Glock 18 is a fully atuomatic pistol and it is smart to use both a pistol and a small submachinegun like the glock 18

for example

Glock 17

Glock 18

and some kind of shotgun

the reason it is smart to have a pistol is that it is easier to aim and you can use it as a last resort.

and btw the Glock 18 you can switch between semi and auto. handy

[firestar9999]

dude, u have no idea what to bring (no offence) the glock 18 is a rare machine pistol, all because it is full-semi auto. get glock 17 or glock 10, mainly because the glock 17 accually has stopping power, and the glock 10 is 10 mm bullets

[SonicMegamanFan]

When I was in the boy scouts, I had a swiss army knife. I loved that thing. My parents lost it one day. Haven't been able to get another one since.

[Gabezen101]

My Rules 1. Use Blunt Weapons.

2. If it aint make a loud sound. It aint dead.

[jomarcel]

my rules on how to survive:

1)always have a buddy

2)use a dead body (really dead that's not moving)as a barricade or shield

3)use a bat, sword or anything with blades except cutter no use.(i prefer a good old japanese sword)

4)be active (always)

5)snatch a suv or any armored car or you could use a ferrari (always have truck load of gasoline)

6)more importantly have fun while surviving

so goodluck!!!!

[origbodaddy]

Some oldies but goodies...

1.) Organize before they rise

2.) Use your head, cut off thier's

3.) Get up a staircase, then destroy it

4.) They feel no fear, why should you

5.) swords don't run out of bullets

[Meep1111]

35: They feel no fear; niether should you.

36: Keep quiet, hear them before they hear you.

37. Avoid confrontation at all costs.

38. If all else fails, go for the legs, then run. (All else includes failure to land a head shot.)

39:Don't think of who they used to be.

39, subsection 1: If you do think, think that they may have been the next Hitler for all you know.

40: Don't get reckless.

41: Groups MIGHT provide safety, but large groups are zombie bait.

42: Always have a back weapon

[Meep1111]

@Meep1111

43: Knives don't need reloading

44: If bitten, may as well go down fighting.

45: Your (zombified) friends arn't themselves anymore, put them out of their misery.

46: Take this opportunity to kill people you didn't like.

47: If you find a hot girl, the fact that you might be the only people left will probably get you laid.

49: Zombies keep eating after their prey dies, as much as it pains you, take the opportunity to run if a friend falls, they'll die even if you keep fighting,

[Meep1111]

@Meep1111

50: If you have a group, have a way to communicate.

51: Bitten friends are dead weight, leave them.

52: No matter how harsh your actions seem, it's better than being a zombie.

53: Zombies have a pack mentality, always search formore if you see one.

54: Fire hurts you more than them.

55: Chainsaws; great weapons right? Wrong. They'll get jammed. Only use if one Zed is after you.

56: While it may seem good on paper, don't make a food on Alcatraz, no fodd source, no way to plant

[Meep1111]

@Meep1111

57: Stay away from malls; too many people; more zombies.

58:Churches offer no protection.

59: If in an amusement park when the infection starts, stay away from halls of mirrors.

60: Don't travel at night, they don't need to see you to know where you are.

Feel free to add more if I left anything out everybody.

[HMSGamer]

First one from Germany: I love that film!

[Kanga272]

Rule 34: If it exists, there is porn of it. No exceptions.

[capinspauldin]

dude, you are a win.

no other way to say it.

[RoadRageFTW]

hahaha dude that was fuckin clever lol.

[LonelyLoreley]

@Kanga272: Ever seen "Porn of the Dead"?

Leads to Rule 35: "What has been seen cannot be unseen"

[holidayswithjason]

@Kanga272 halo porn

zombie porn

hulk hogan porn

stanlee porn

porn porn???

[killerslayer543]

@holidayswithjason GRAB YOUR DICK AND DOUBLE CLICK :D

[residentevil568]

@Kanga272 lol now i understand this pic my friend made for this web comic

[123wowboy123]

@Kanga272

the real rule reads "There is porn of it, no exeptions"

[livee89]

Awesome, awesome film :x

[TeamUnicorn]

rule #34- Dont Mess With Tallahassee's Twinkies

[seta6100]

i would nvr let a guy try to get an orange peice of that way >..>

[mightywindmill102]

I wonder if they had a rule 34 ;)

[spacedghOst78]

01. Cardio[15]

02. Double tap[15][16]

03. Beware of bathrooms[15]

04. Seatbelts[15]

07. Travel light

17. (Don't) Be a hero[17]

18. Limber up

22. When in doubt, know your way out

31. Check the back seat[18]

32. Enjoy the little things[19]

[ldpokemon]

no always check the back seat

[RickMerchantttt]

For every retard on here, it goes as follows:

Rule 1 - Cardio

Rule 2 - Double Tap

Rule 3 - Beware of Bathrooms

Rule 4 - Seatbelts

And so on, and so on. I believe 18 was Limber Up. 32 is Enjoy the Little Things.

[013579asdfgh]

and around 17# -(Dont) be A HERO

[BIOSHOCK456]

zombieland was awesome

[fantblade]

I thought it was double tap

[TonganBuilts]

i thought rule 33 was enjoy every little thing?

[htowngoevert]

That's 32

[tonymol002]

Shoots the chick with shotgun not once but twice rule 4 double tap

[tonymol002]

Omg rule 1 cardio he's running around with the zombies rule 2 he gets in his car and buckles up, seatbelts.

[AyeToTheBee]

in the actual movie double tap is #2 seatbelts is #4.. on youtube they changed it o_o

[tonymol002]

Your just pissed because you can't afford one. Shit, apparently you can't even afford to see a movie!

[novatrek]

lol, seriously though, your wrong and im right. I just want you to admit it. Cmon man, I need this win. I just fucked up my english exam, I need a win.

Just say it, I (tonymol) was wrong and novatrek was right. Be a pal.

[tonymol002]

Well you shouldn't be correcting me at all seeing as how I'm right. Seeing the movie might help you out with that one or you could just look it up and stop trying to act like you know!

[tonymol002]

I can't reply I'm on my iPhone app you bitch! Why don't you learn how to be right for once you faggot!

[novatrek]

Just another reason why your Iphones a peice of shit. You know what, I can probably give you 10 more but I wont.

Cuz you already know them, dont you.

[logjam8800]

Great flick!

They have the entire movie up at WatchMoviesOnPC. com

Go watch it now.

[boobehry]

Tallahassee is awesome

[tonymol002]

And rule #3 is seatbelts! Now I've corrected you jackass!

[novatrek]

I politely corrected you. I even used the word "think" when I knew what I was saying was correct.

You got those rules all backwards but really who gives a shit.

[tonymol002]

Um not really! Rule #2 is beware of bathrooms! Rule#4 is double tap! Maybe you should watch the movie before trying to correct people!

[novatrek]

shut up ya homo, learn to reply.

[novatrek]

Tallahassee turns into a zombie at the end.

[Murtagh42]

"Why be neutral when you can pick sides?" LOVE.

[tonymol002]

Rule#4 double tap

[novatrek]

uh, i think thats rule #2.

#4 being, always wear your seat belt.

[shadowofgeif]

"tallahasse pretty much set the standard for not to be fucked with"

FUCKING LOVE THIS MOVIE

I saw