CHUCK PALAHNIUK Explains How to Stop Shoplifters

[whothq18]

wow stills books lol



[SantoryuWazamono]

how do they make the magnetic alarm things so they dont act like bookmarks, telling the shoplifter where it is so they can take it out?

[TonySlick]

In the sock, under the pant leg. Day Of The Locust, yours.

[KittyTron15]

is this a joke?

[Ax008Al]

Awesome Chuccky !

[dtrigs108]

these books are on my hit list ,along with my favorite book "HOW TO STEAL FROM BOARDERS"

[SplitfaceLegend]

Some good recomendations Chuck, but you forgot your own book Fight Club!

Too funny.

[Veto2090]

"Best short stories I have seen in my adult life" He says this as edgar allen poe is in the background

[kikomiko1]

Borders finally figured out the best way to stop shoplifters: Go out of business!

[hazaraku]

You guys, I just realized something! Chuck Palahniuk is a total dickhead!

[awkwardfour]

You guys, I just realized something! @Hazaraku is a total dickhead!

[madwolfheart]

Funny thing is, I've stolen every chuck palahniuk book there is.

[Orangy13]

All the sock and other crap is so overrated. Women shoplift too. Purses are amazing, as well as those little reading corners. Not to mention they have cafes in most stores. After you remove the little tags just go and buy a cup of coffee, sit down like you are reading it, then leave. If you forgot some little tag all you have to do is "I completely forgot about it" when the alarm beeps. Legally they can't prosecute you, since you are holding it like you forgot to pay.

[herpderpmonkey]

I sorta commend the fact that people would be willing to steal books just to read them...

[DarcDymensions]

This video is stupid.

1st: Why would most normal people steal a book?

2nd: Chuck Norris wouldn't have gotten caught!

[leachim6]

haha, I love how he didn't try to steal any of his 5 billion books 

[pavelmdify]

I meant who the fuck would steal a book.

[MrCredulo]

@pavelmdify ull be surprised... some people make a career out of it...

[pavelmdify]

Who would steal a book

[javelin1080]

@pavelmdify Quentin Tarantino.

Fuck, I miss Borders...And like always, Chuck is the man!

[stratocaster1986able]

Gotta love Chuck, he's nothing short of a genius.

[potaytoes1138]

had no idea *Josh Brolin was in 30 days of night.....

[Josh2DMax]

Borders was driven to the ground by hipsters.

[hackwriter]

It's hurting my brain that the guy who wrote "Fight Club" just said "Oh my God I'm too fat to shoplift!"

[adripantsonfire]

chuck's name is on that book at 2:04. lol now i have to go find that book..

[WorkForYourMoney]

I used to pronounce it Pall-a-nook

[WorkForYourMoney]

3:47 anyone else notice the book in his sock?

[LuckynumberSlevin11]

First rule of shop club NEVER TALK ABOUT SHOPLIFTING.

[Frellyouall]

I've read Fight Club, Choke, Lullaby and some of Survivor (hated that one) and I couldn't tell he was gay. Watching the video, it's obvious. Dude is awesome though.

[VermilionOfficial]

ive never herd of anyone shop lift books...

[dulaziom]

@VermilionOfficial i did

i love shoplifting and i like to reed to...\

[pboisei]

@VermilionOfficial

haha that's why its so easy to do!

[squinkque]

I think it's a classic rib-tickler when smarmy, smarty-pants authors w/ flat stomachs yuck it up about their fatness. 

[leskocrazy]

i stole marilyn manson's long hard road out of hell when it came out. i was 19

[stratocaster1986able]

He should do stand up.

[matutee321]

i dont gonna steal books! .. but maybe 360 games

[LeeVaiM]

Hes teaching you how to shoplift. haha

[evilificationable]

who steals books?

[OneEyedJack1970]

@evilificationable Some guy I tackled when I worked at a bookstore as a teenager.

[mckin3228]

1:34 sorry, couldn't hear you over all that great Kurt Vonnegut books hissing at you for ignoring them.....

[ToothpickBetty]

he's sexy



[RageOfTheTiger]

awesome! Can't wait to try this in Chapters!

[blackwash]

30 Days of Night starring Josh Brolin? Did he mean Josh Hartnett? Am I missing something?

[mckin3228]

@blackwash yeah I realized this too, reminded me of after Leslie Nielsen died and one of his obituaries said that he starred in Top Gun

[ProfessorAlaska]

"I'm too fat to shoplift!"

[waterspindle]

please hire an advertising agency. you are getting some fine minds to try to enact poorly worked out brand schlepping. I would value the campaign's value at $600/day ... hope it was affordable =) cheers.

[nepali5555]

shoplifting a book???!!!! wtf.. i wouldnt take a book if i get paid for it.

[Y0n3z]

@nepali5555 And that's why you can't properly compose a sentence.

[danke91]

Does somebody has a list of all the books he's recommending?

[AllSingingAllDancing]

Chuck a sellout? Pimping for Borders (didn't they file Ch. 11 this year?). Ugh say it ain't so, Joe.

[burninghollow1]

people who shoplift arent generally interested in books?

[FebruaryHeir675]

that part at the end is from the death cab for cutie tour movie, "Drive Well, Sleep Carefully"

I'm slightly confused by this, but I'm also kind of excited.

[TR3Bastra]

I loved reading Snuff, but man it was difficult especially that dumbass kid trying to screw his mother? Wow.....

[951IVAN]

paul- eh-nuck :D yesss now i can stop saying paulah-knee-uhk.

[vegansong821]

POLL-ih-nik. I've always said Puh-LA-nee-uk.

[sowhatnowhere]

I guess borders doesn't carry "Steal This Book" by Abbie Hoffman..

[osharemind]

Josh Brolin....lmao.

Still love him tho.

[fromdaghettowithlove]

Fight Club is awesome.

[XGREEDOX]

Still waiting on that Clown Girl movie...

[Googopqp]

Next time I'm at borders I'm so sitting there and reading Ill Nature in one of the comfortable chairs!

[LordOfZombies]

Palahniuk is really bad at stopping shoplifters

[cloverfield911]

Thanks for the info. now I know what books to shoplift next, and how to get away with it.

[xXTheBlackHaloXx]

4:27 - 4:35 Did I just see 5 or 6 blow up dolls being carried by that crowd?

[MrQkumber]

@xXTheBlackHaloXx Lol I think they want signatures on them XD

[fugithekid]

i spy edgar allan poe.

[osharemind]

@fugithekid YES.

[DSLproductions]

Day of the locusts......YOURS!

[zumb1e]

a movie with sarah silverman?! wonderful :) im glad

[fuckyeahbss]

"ohmygad i'm too fat to shoplift."

[GiftOfMedea]

i will read anything he tells me to <3

[bsjett]

Hmm...Josh Hartnett, Chuck, Josh Hartnett...

[hXcshibbygangsta]

Chuck Palahniuk AND death cab for cutie in one video.

I'm in love.

[fortysixyou]

Here's what you do if you see a book you like, but don't have enough money to buy it. Peel the price tag/bar code sticker off of a cheap book and put it on the book you want, then check out. Works like a charm. Also works in liquor stores!

[salsburysteakjr]

@fortysixyou If you're especially paranoid about doing it, you could use their very own handy database computer to find something vastly cheaper with a similar enough sounding title that was also in the store. Then wander around to where no camera was aimed, and switch the two price tag stickers! Boom.

[fortysixyou]

@salsburysteakjr Exactly how I got a book on the Tao a few years ago. The original book was like $32.95, which isn't a very Tao price at all. So I grabbed a $3.99 price tag off a pocket mini-Tao book and switched them.

I hope nobody paid $32.95 for the little one though... but then, if they did, that would complete the circle and set the universe right.

[salsburysteakjr]

@fortysixyou The best is when they've adapted a book into a movie, then you just find the book price and make it the movie price. Or when they've re-released a movie from normal reasonably priced dvd to super deluxe, super expensive Criterion style dvd. At that point I'm calling revenge on how the dvd companies rape you in the ass by pulling those cowardly re-re-re-release moves. But I suppose that's also me justifying myself to some degree. I don't do it anymore anyhow. I do not repent, though!

[Slide2671]

@jsuglia Why is that?

[Theo2kitty]

If you see any school kids in the bookstores, with bookbags and backpacks and big coats, make sure you watch them like a hawk. Plus, kids-people aren't stupid, they have MANY ways to find a way to rip out the tag and steal it, its not that hard to pull off the "Five finger discount."

~Nel.

[BlackMesaProgrammer]

30 Days of Night is boring as hell. I've watched it twice and couldn't get into it at all.

[bitterxreilly]

I love this man. But this was so awkward

[ilovepanslabyrinth]

@bitterxreilly

Chuck considers himself a shy romantic

I wouldn't doubt that for a second

He has a real grace and intelligence about him don't you find?

[somedaythewave]

make sure to check those dolls before you use them.

*shudders*

[thecrimsonfloyd]

I just caught a glimpse of some Kurt Vonnegut... Sirens of Titan I believe... I wonder what Chuck thinks of Kurt?

[LoveThisSickSadWorld]

He called Josh Hartnett "Josh Brolin" in 30 days of night. But a guy whose mane is mispronounced all the time gets a free get-out of-jail pass on that.

[FungusMossGnosis]

Is there a good Karen Black movie? There are a few:

Five Easy Pieces

A Gunfight

Born to Win

And '30 Days of Night' is the best vampire movie in 30 years? Cute blurb, but so wrong. Ever heard of 'Cronos'? 'Near Dark'? Stuff it in you sock, Palahnut.

[stads24]

He is so crazy sexy!!!

[Supertaniav]

Admittedly it is hard to find a good movie that Karen black appeared in, BUT five easy pieces, garnered her an oscar nom (i think) and it was a fabulous movie lol

[apexpein39]

i love his dark humor

[Falcor37]

I feel like Tyler Durden is teaching me HOW to shoplift lol

[blablaidontcarewhour]

Well, Chuck... I can see you being a little bit biased about books turned into movies.

[ticklebug]

@blablaidontcarewhour So? He's entitled to his own opinions.

[blablaidontcarewhour]

@ticklebug Yeah he is. I was just kidding around since the movie adaptation of Fight Club is one of the greatest films of all time.

[w0rmaster]

woohoo

[Mr99Burns]

My accounting teacher tought me rule #1 people steal.

[smccoy311281]

This is more like "How to shopliftt" Than how to prevent shoplifters haha

[brainbasher]

You really cant blame people for stealing them.

[hitbottomnow]

throw a donut and that fatty will go the other way

[GBAPCLAN]

lol and boarders went bust

[kse6063]

is this to stop shop lifters or a advertisement for books lol

[noelthorne1984]

it was josh hartnett not brolin in 30 days of night

[MyEggIsBoiled]

@noelthorne1984 I guess even gods make mistakes.

[gaozhi2007]

This is a clever plug for these books, but Chuck, don't go into acting.

[stayseesdeserts]

me and  "that guy" would totally hook up... That girl<

[brightgreenskribbles]

Death Cab for Cutie, Twin Sized Bed

gotta love it.

[iceman1616]

Josh Brolin wasn't in 30 Days of Night

[KELSCENE]

"Oh my god! Im too fat to shoplift!" Only chuck... ;)

[liquorishtongue]

clown girl sucked, imo

[caitforsure]

gahh. i'm so embarrassed about the way i've been saying his last name. :/

[777twiztid777]

lets try Amy's book another way, i'll just stick it up my ass

[sammyboy212]

@777twiztid777 Amy Hempel is one of the greatest authors alive! How could you say such a thing?

[777twiztid777]

@sammyboy212 i wasn't having a go at the author. I was cracking a joke at what he does to the book after he says it, watch it again, it looks like he's about to stick it up his ass ;p

[berlusclown]

quest uomo è un grande..

[chrstilen5]

Is this a how to ore a commercial????

[danke91]

what's the full list of the books? O.O

[DJNSide]

I'm too fat to shoplift!

[thisjustin3]

they actually have a name for people that still books, they're called biblioklepts

[CaptainPommby]

What did u call me? :P lol

[kasey172]

At 3:52, you can still see the book he previously put in his sock. Haha!

[MrDpsc]

is this vid for real?

[jojobizzard]

Wow nice little ad.

[Coltsfan86x]

who would want to steal any of those books?

[ilolatyourexpense]

@Coltsfan86x think about it man shoplifters are people, people have hobbies, one hobby includes reading..... just like a smoker might shoplift a lighter or a box of smokes an avid reader would steal books.... also if you heard down to the bookstore and start scanning price tags you'll see why people steal em

[Coltsfan86x]

@ilolatyourexpense

lol true...but i would think people would want to steal things they actually want. Im actually familiar with types of shoplifters (booster, snitches...and so on) so i do know what your saying with "the thrill of it all"...by stealing books with a high price tag. If i were to ever shoplift i would steal something i could sell on the street. I don't think books have as high street value as say an iPod or a flat screen TV...esp the ones he was picking out...lol.

[ilolatyourexpense]

@Coltsfan86x you're missing the point of what i'm trying to say. i mean that people who like to read go to the store to get books because they want a new book lol and they don't want to pay so they just take them. that answers your original question. "who would want to steal those books?" lol

[JulianBagBeans]

lucky,

[tigerseatflesh]

Karen Black was in Inferno in Diretta. Great flick. I think Michael Berryman gets gatored.

[BunnyMan456]

@tigerseatflesh also she was in Five Easy Pieces. she was nominated for that movie, but i don't know.

she was hilariously bad in the great gatsby

[bloodaltar2]

2:55 - 3:05

[723cielo]

Chuck thanks for the shoplifting tricks!

[DrxPreservzz]

I hated 30 Days Of Night. It sucked.

[DontBeAfraidToCare]

The only thing I've ever stolen in my entire life is a candy bar from a convenient store, which I later became a patron of, to somehow balance out what I had done.

[XleeroyjenkinsX]

Josh Brolin wasn't in 30 Days of Night. Josh Hartnett maybe?

[eleventhsun]

Is this some sort of inside joke? Can someone let me in on it? I'm just not sure what's going on here.

[Zelkket]

maybe some day ill go shoplift you store

[bennymental]

men dont really read and u are telling how to shop lift

[KillaHaakon]

@bennymental Speak for yourself. Then again, one can always just borrow stuff at the library.

[ooohbopbopbop]

finally i know how to pronounce his last name

[VicariouslyCurious]

@ooohbopbopbop Yea lol I was saying "Palaneeyuck".... Great author.

[lezsmokehaze420]

@ooohbopbopbop hahahaha me too

[formationattack]

Choke was also good, can't believe this is the guy who wrote Fight Club.

[MrGobBluth]

Fight club and Invisible monster are his only good books. Lullaby is when i had to stop reading his books, just got to cheesy.

[kriztufer2001]

Rant was pretty damg good imo.

lullaby was also a good book.

[deeders05]

I thought haunted was really good.

[MrGobBluth]

Is that the one with the people "stuck" in the building? The one with Saint Gutfree? If it is then ya, that was a good one to. I loved the idea of the nightmare box.

[MathcoreMatt]

@MrGobBluth im ready choke. try that one.

[joemama145]

haha the plug in vibrator in pygmy is great

[frozenmorale]

LOL! He said 30 Days of Night stars Josh Brolin when it doesn't, I think he meant Josh Hartnett. I was thinking, Waat? Josh Brolin was in 30 Days of Night?

Anyways, it is a good movie though.

[poopsmith00]

thanks for showing me how to steal these books.

[PABC8]

This is a joke.

But you guys know that chuck is showing you how to steal a book by saying how to "stop" theft.

1. sock

2. take magnet out

3. pants

4. read!

[SupaKawaiiii]

ummm is this a joke? i cant tell haha

[JeremyMakesMusic]

Now I know how to pronounce his name! I love his writing, but that is seriously the only thing I gained from this.

[WhammyDown]

Leave the internet.

[IzzyIsou]

Spoken like a true dumb hipster... but I expect it from anyone reading this hack's work.

[WhammyDown]

Is it lonely at the top of the world, oh great, wise one?

[IzzyIsou]

@WhammyDown That's it? That's all you got? Oh, the horror, the horror...

Hey, can you please buy another Palahniuk book? He's late on his gym membership.

[WhammyDown]

I actually received Invisible Monsters and Rant for Christmas, amongst other books I look forward to reading. Nice to see that sarcasm thing's working for ya, though.

[IzzyIsou]

Brought to you by your friendly corporate-backed Borders - the only place to get your "cutting edge" authors.

[WhammyDown]

Oooooh, I get it. This is some sort of "smash capitalism, fuck corporations" statement you've got going on. Cool.

[IzzyIsou]

Statement? You're the with Tom Morello spitting his hipster/delusional rocker bonehead politics.

Ah, it's so nice to flash the red star while living well in the USA. Is your Che t-shirt at the cleaners?

[WhammyDown]

I actually just love Tom Morello as a guitarist, I'm rather lukewarm on his politics. I admire his passion and drive as an activist, but I don't fully support his beliefs. I like his Axis of Justice tour though, good musicians. The interview I have favourited isn't about his politics, it's about the Rage reunion. And he's not a bonehead, actually. As far as rock stars go, he's quite well-read and well-educated. I'm glad to see you took the time to look at my profile though:)

[mermer2u]

dirty talk. WOOOO HOO! xD ohh thats lovely <33

[dannonstewart9]

i steal all the time from borders. I buy a cup of coffee and I read the books in the book section. LOL

[vade009]

this is fucking stupid.

who the fuck steals books ?

[SHITFACE2470]

people steal everything and anything.

trust me.

[WhammyDown]

Idiot. this is clearly a joke to promote these books.

[DaArbiter]

I stole some glowsticks form borders the other day. I haven't got a book yet, K can steal her own damn Yaoi

[acebrawler73]

"day of the locust, yours." hahahah