The Transgender Manual - Gender Identity Vs. Sexual Identity

[BrisbaneGoFish]

ladyboys and shemale-he's are very nice and loving, if you haven't got the love then you got n--thing

[viastesal]

Curiously, something like 20% of heterosexual males enjoy dressing up as women. Few of them actually do it. As a homosexual man who loves being a man, I have always found transgendered women understandable. I am sad to say that transvestite males don't fare well with me. I think of them as being heterosexual males that have eroticized female clothes, and the antithesis of homosexuals. Many of these straight men flock to the gay scene as that is the only place they can find approval.

[thisissoexciting]

So many misconceptions in our world. Thank you for being so positive. You're definitely an inspiration. : )

[NegativeNoobKnob]

They say all straight men are slightly gay. I don't think that is fully true but I believe it's pretty close.

This is where the "chicks with dicks" thing comes in. I'm a straight guy and can't imagine shagging a guy at all. Does nothing for me. A pretty girl is what is needed. If this otherwise beautiful girl has a dick, it doesn't put me off. Just does not bother me. Call it a fetish if you want but better the original than a chopped up dick shaped to look like a vagina :S That WILL put me off

[reneedooma]

@NegativeNoobKnob You sound epic XD! <3 from a tg woman

[GhibliFan1]

Couldn't agree more about the guys into 'chicks with dicks'...normally I say whatever floats your boat, but I'm worried about it being a disrespectful to these girls who would not have said appendage IF they had the money or their health services were doing their jobs. There are guys with full M-F fetishes, too, which I also find odd. Myself, well I'm 100% straight and never even thought about this stuff until I stumbled upon Lea and realised I fancied her as I did any other [attractive] FEMALE.

[DOTEAZEWORLD]

Are You Australian Lol. I Live In New Zealand :] Tranny Too =]

[slablilseb2]

I agree that gender identity shouldn't be assumed to be linked with sexual identity - I was just wondering, is it wrong to say 'trans-sexual', rather than trans-gender? The former term seems like a juxtaposition, and will only create the misconception that gender and sexuality are linked, right? I've stopped saying 'trans-sexual' because I feel it gives people the wrong idea, if you get me. Anyone feel free to reply to this.

This debate is so interesting to me, ha!

[urmwhynot]

@slablilseb2 Personal choice must always be taken into account, if the term transsexual suits you, then so be it. That said, I am in opposites with the word, and will not use it to define my condition. For me, it causes confusion and as it stands, its use in pragmatic english is...questionable. The word is used to describe the severity of GID, the transsexual being the most severe. In contrast, "Transgender" is a blanket term used widely, and respectively within the media, medicine, and law.

[slablilseb2]

@urmwhynot Yes, that's what I thought! Thanks for the reply, and keep up the videos. You give colourful and intelligent insight to the gender-sexuality debate.

[MrCaribbean]

Thanks for your insight, respect to you my friend ;-) ...I agree with you.

[jennyomalley]

Years ago i had articles published that I'd written on the same old thing. Gender change/sex change. Ladyboys,cocks-in-frocks,chick­s-with-dicks,etc. All these and more are terms I've fought against. However as the years have passed it has now become worse. Now there is Trans----whatever which en-compresses.Drag act's.cross-dressers and anyone putting on there wife's knickers. Forget the shades of gray, MAN has a penis,Woman has Not. Any thing in-between is Trans. L.G.B......T??=SEX.

[slablilseb2]

@jennyomalley I agree. Although if you want to identify as a ladyboy etc. and it makes you happy, then so be it. Haha, I do think the 'T' is a bit out of place in a community that identifies itself by its 'unconventional' sexuality, even if (broadly speaking) LGBT is supportive of it.

But you said that are no shades of grey, BUT anything in between is trans. That seems a bit confusing to me. I'd appreciate more insight on that, if you find time.

Cheers!

[jennyomalley]

@slablilseb2 Each and every person should have the right (provided there not coursing harm to anyone else) to live there life as they wish. Agreed 100%.But the FACT remains, Females do not have a Penis!! Trans= shades of Gray. Look on the net it's full of Trans/sex, Ask the general public what Tran's means, TRANSGENDER is not a term to be used anymore if you want to be taken seriously.

[urmwhynot]

@jennyomalley What you say is debatable, believe it or not. Your concept of being of a gender condition seems to be filled with expectation of actually being "female". This my friend, is impossible, and to live in dellusions of a complete transition into the opposite sex is folly, and will leave you wanting. The term transgender is a blanket term, but is MORE commonly used to describe, RESPECTFULLY, a transitioned GID patient...and not those naughty husbands wearing their wives knickers.

[slablilseb2]

@jennyomalley Ah okay then. I suppose the choice of labelling is entirely personal, but one should not get too offended if someone mislabels them? It happens all the time anyway!

Thanks for the quick reply, by the way! I'd like to read the articles that you mentioned in your previous comment, but obviously it's fine if there's no access to them.

[jennyomalley]

@slablilseb2 Hi, I've lost my files on my computer,but i do have the newspapers as soon as i get the chance i will scan them for you. My teenage son is driving me potty as the mo, God it's hard work!!. Stay well. Jen

[slablilseb2]

@jennyomalley Ah, okay, thank you very much. Ha, I am a teenager too so it's hard for me to sympathise! You too!

[Marisa20XI]

@jennyomalley

Well, that's very nice bullshit Jenny, and agreed by many to a certain extent (the general public)

Trans-women,...believe it or not, are very well aware of the fact that females don't have a penis...Hence the dilemma. This is neither a "choice" nor is it a "lifestyle" anymore than someone who is born with a tumor, or has cancer. Its not like they get chemo-therapy and endless medication because they, "like the bald-look". Sex is between the legs, gender is between the ears.

[RnRuindmylife]

Your hot

[greenalkalinerain]

I know exactly what you mean about tgirls being 'othered' differently by guys' and girls' homosexual tendencies. I think the reason so many guys love tgirls is because we're so slow to accept that we are gay. That's definitely a large part of it.

I've found I absolutely adore tgirls and pretty guys but actual girls and masculine guys don't do it for me... I guess people just like what they like a lot of the time.

Some good videos you've uploaded here, urmwhynot. Keep it up!

[viastesal]

@greenalkalinerain "I think the reason so many guys love tgirls is because we're so slow to accept that we are gay". That is your experience and not a common one. My sampling of Gay men reveals that they consider transgendered women as strange and fail to understand their condition. What is the case is that heterosexual men find transgendered women more acceptable than masculine homosexuals. You are most likely deluding yourself into thinking you are a homosexual, when you are just a het.

[TheStrawberryMIX]

wow you look great

what age did you go transgender im so wishing i had your hair its so pretty!

your so pretty! haha

[mandymccurley]

You look great girl.... I will follow your videos as long as you make them. i love hearing all of it. I really like you and i love what you do!

Mandy McCurley

[layinontheground]

You're right about accepting everyone for who they are. However, I hope you don't mean to blame ladyboys for their being fetishized. It's wrong for people to fetishize any group, be it asians, transwomen, black people, women, ladyboys...but it's not the objectified person's fault. If someone wants to identify as shemale/ladyboy, that should be okay. But that doesn't mean they're "asking" to be fetishized/objectified. And it doesn't mean it's their fault when someone objectifies a transwoman.

[SHAEBUTTER22]

as girl in transitition, i must say that i have come into contact with the undercover gay guys on which you speak.... and it's kind of gross because i get called names and a bitch mostly because i am not what they think i should be. i tell them I AM NOT A GAY GUY IN A DRESS WHO IS PLAYING AS A WOMAN! I AM A WOMAN AND DOING YOU IN THE BUTT IS GROSS AND GAY!!! FIND YOUSELF A GUY WHO WANTS TO SCREW YOUR ASS... i'm a lady<3 lol

[froggykodok]

1. Wow you hit the nail on the head for me- after coming out as a lesbian I felt I had to "conform" to increasingly butch stereotypes, and it took a while for me to accept that I could be gay and girly- it's not a paradox, and I can embrace my feminity completely without getting insecure about what it means for my sexuality. Girl power! ......continued below

[froggykodok]

2. continued.....I've subscribed to your channel, trying to get a better understanding of a transwoman I work with. I appreciate your insight, and have vocally defended her being called "it" and "that thing" by straight male collegues who I think are frightened of her grace and elegance- and the implications it has on their own desires. Their problem, not hers, as I frequently remind them.

[MultiRasher]

is she a transexual

[melstan12]

hi Lea - I just had a thought about the separation of gender and sexuality. I live in the U.S. and we are increasingly facing the question of abortion rights. I've always considered it a woman's decision, and the reason why is because sex is not just for reproduction. If it were, humans would only have sex during ovulation cycles to increase chances of pregnancy. It makes sense to me that sex and sexuality have nothing to do with gender identity. Good vid.

[andreaandrewmilne]

Dear Lea,

Thanks for a nice vid. May I offer some thoughts of mine?

Before you have either "gender self-identity" or "gender role" or "sexual identity", you need an idea, a feeling, of F or M, or as one might call it, an impression of Sex-and-Gender dimorphism. Or to put it even more generally, and a bit pompously, a model of people as belonging to an n-type morphology, at various levels of their psycho-social-erotic being.

[andreaandrewmilne]

For me, this XX-standard-natal-configuratio­n person, I find myself happiest when I know myself to be not on such (F, M) dimensions. That is, I do not care to see myself as properly described anywhere in my psycho-social-erotic being using a dimension that has F or M as well-defined points, irrespective of whether those "points" are at the end or within such a dimension.

[andreaandrewmilne]

Put another way, F or M is never a solution to the equations that truly describe who I am, or how others sensuously understand me, or how we may live together. Of course, even if there were such n-types, that hardly proves that F or M as currently conceived (ie within contemporary Western European society) belong within those types.

[andreaandrewmilne]

That is why I style myself as a sex-and-gender rebel. More uncomfortably, when I bump into people who wish to strongly type me on some dimension of myself, it sets off all those giddy, depressive feelings of unhappiness, which some might call "gender disphoria" or identity "disorder". The very term disorder is a rude piece of medical moralising. Hence I say my life is lived as "radical trans" [(F or M) → x ].

[andreaandrewmilne]

If people attempt a classification of my self-identity or social being in terms of "gender identity" or "gender role", using a spectrum with F or M as end points, or even significant values, then most of the time I'm aiming to make that procedure either non-terminating ["I just can't decide if s/he's F or M"], or terminating with what on their terms ought to be a contradiction ["I've come to a decision - s/he's both F and M"].

[andreaandrewmilne]

Deeply connected with this is the feeling that I cannot be properly understood unless one synthesises the perspective I have on myself, with the comprehension another person has of me. Thus even the most apparently private truths about me are actually interpersonal.

[andreaandrewmilne]

So, as I often say to my sparing partners, why not dispense with these n-type conceptions, and instead think of yourself as a person, with a highly rich and multi-dimensional identity, partly visible in public, partly better known only to yourself, partly better understood only by your friends and lovers. An identity that is quite malleable, according to friends and circumstances.

[andreaandrewmilne]

And credit yourself with a glorious capacity to be friends with and love many others. Who you click with, and who clicks with you, now that is all about affectional orientation .....

[andreaandrewmilne]

Some people may like this way of understanding themselves, some not. All I do is offer it, like a hand given in love .... and try to live such an ideal myself.

Regards and ♥, andrea

[Vanyaify]

i love your hair!

[TheRealEricLester]

wow. at first i couldnt tell if you were trans or a gg who sympathized with transwomen. you have made a really impressive transition. aslo as a male open to a relationships with transwomen, im glad there are videos like yours to keep me from screwing up and hurting someone.

[Vanyaify]

that's so cute u know?, but why would you hurt someone?

[TheRealEricLester]

oh i dunno, just saying something insensitive or making to big deal about a girl's history. just carelesness around those lines.

[Vanyaify]

oh boy, i was kinda sarcastic, sorry about that, but u maybe should know, and i'm not the best person to say this, but maybe you shouldn't ask about the history, maybe just a "what u did yesterday?" is perfectly fine (ha!), it's hard to some of us.... really

take care...

[TheRealEricLester]

oh, gotcha. thanks

[fugazi0311]

You made a lot of good points. This is great. The only thing though is there are some people who feel they don't fit the binary and may truly be 'he-shes', but I agree that the people you're talking about, the ones who pander to the men looking for chicks with dicks, are making it hard for women who just want to be seen as what they are.

[kotekotekitty]

i like girls too but hate being a guy, i used to think "maybe im bi or somthin" cuz i wanted to look more girly but then i linked it to the fact that i always wished id just wake up a girl one day and the like zero sexual attraction to guys and it makes more sense now. Even tho its way more comlex lol

[kotekotekitty]

you hair is too perfect :X

[karmatic1110]

I love this vlog and you look great in it :)

[urmwhynot]

amg.. how did i miss this comment...?? AHAHA... thanks charlotte... mwa!! kisses..