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From: Tprinces
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  • I regretted watching the movie the second i saw it and turned it off you miss are the bravest woman i know for being able to endure that

  • Oh. no no. Edward's not sending her anything. That's her own deluded mind conjuring the voices.

  • I was SCREAMING at my version of the book. Truly, it drove me insane! It basically tells girls: If you don't have a boyfriend, you're not worth it! Go on a path of self-destruction until you either get a boyfriend or die!

    Also, I hated the werewolves in this. It annoyed me because, like you said, they are shifters, NOT werewolves. You fail, Stephanie! I hope when you rewrite it, they are shifters.

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  • @AmazingMegan101 Ehm, she told you why. She was rewriting this book.

    So, she is not alowed to critisize a book, because some people like it? Freedom of speech, anyone?

  • @AmazingMegan101 ......did you even listen to the beginning of the video?

  • tprinces, i have a suggestion for your rewrite. in some legends, vampires can reproduce with humans, resulting in a hybrid called a Dhampir. the blood of a dhampir is said to be harmful to vampires, so they make excellent vampire hunters. why not have the daughter go crazy and kill off the entire cullen family?

  • .................i love you......

    

  • @Tprinces lmao i love ur rant there so funny!!!!!!!!

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  • Your expressions are impeccable. Makes this really great.

  • God, even listening about Twilight is physically painfull ( NOT you Tprinces, you're doing an excellent job at roasting this ''''''''''''saga''''''''''''')­.

  • LMFAOOOOOOOOOO 5:56

  • You're my hero, thanks :D

  • TWITARD HERE love twilight but new moon was really bad

    h and i fuckin love you in a nhw

    

  • TWITARD HERE love twilight but new moon was really bad

  • "Sense motherfucker? Do you make it?" You are my hero.

  • If you've re-written this whole God-forsaken series, I will love you forever.

  • The paper cut thing was SO stupid. Okay, so Jasper, going to school every day around HUNDREDS of students, finds the strength not to eat them. BUT he pounces on Bella over a tiny little drop of blood.

  • @sallyflamer And don't you absolutly wish that he drank her dry?

  • @MrDynogames Yes! Instead we got two more books.

  • @sallyflamer and 3 more movies...

  • I thought the song in the beginning was Iron Man by Black Sabbath...XD

  • i'm a girl and im straight but i love u <3

  • @CaseyLovesWWE ugh, you can love another female without being lesbian. do you love your best female friend? or are you scared that would make you a lesbian?

  • Please don't abuse yourself with the book! It's crap and therefore not worth causing you pain.

  • I heard that True werewolves dont need the moon and are more often in beast form rather then human,the lesser followers are the ones that need it to change as I read.

  • If vampires cant enter a room unless invited in HOW can they suck you blood at night? do they have to befriend you first then trick you?

  • Haha maybe Tprinces follows the tipps from the Anti-Twilight wiki "Frozen Apples"

    How to read Twilight without losing IQ points:

    Beat the book against your head many times, repeating the following phrases: "Edward is not real. Bella has no personality. Jacob is a pedophile. Renesmee cannot exist. VAMPIRES DO NOT SPARKLE

  • The whole telepahtic message thingy, yea, he is not sending messages, Bella is just being a psyco, hearing his voice! :3

  • in IT, we had to make a list of our favourite books. Someone put New Moon at the top. I had the laptop with the giant screen and speaker set attached (or however you spell it!) and I put this video on when the teacher wasn't in the room. God dammit. Everyone besides the girl was peeing themselves laughing. She just stared at me in a sort of, 'I wan't to murder you right now' way.

  • Are you a yaoi fan? The poster behind your head is a bit suggestive. Not the I have a problem with that.

  • 6:26 I remember facepalming SOOOO many times during this book.....

  • If I was left in the middle of the wood to stay away from Edward I would fucking celebrate! Four months of it!

  • You should be an actor, or at least a screen writer. You are AWESOME. The comments are really well thought out and dramatic.

  • I love this its so freaking funny! I agree with you!

  • not to nit-pick but in werewolf myth werewolves do not change during a full moon. only when the wolf bain is in bloom. The hole changing during a full moon was only created for the original Wolfman from the 1940s. Just saying. Another great Video my dear. I've read your rewrite of twilight and i must say jolly good show what?.

  • The Twilight series was a blatant, offensive and unnecessary waste of trees.

  • Stop killing your brain cells. Twilight has done enough damage. :)

  • Animagi: an animagi ELECTS to turn into an animal and once transformed will still be aware of who they are

    Werewolve: a werewolve has NO choice. At each full moon they are transformed and will no longer know who they are

    ....point made?

  • lol i love the part about being left in the middle of the woods at risk of being eaten by a bear that was geniousXD

  • soooo...what kind of book do you like to read?

  • I think it was Stephen King who put it best about twilight: "Harry Potter is about confronting fears, finding inner strength, and doing the right thing in the face of adversity. Twilight is about how important it is to have a boyfriend." And no I don't like Harry Potter either

  • Love the review! New Moon is honestly one of the worst books I've ever read. Bella is one of the most annoying characters ever written/put on film!

  • You, ma'am, have earned a subscriber =)

    The only thing I remember about New Moon (I decided the bandwagon had SOME reason behind it and read the series) is a vague 600 page blank spot...

  • @Anahifanss Sigh your maturity amazes me

  • i guess Edward was goin to break the the thou shall not sparkle in public

  • OMG DEATH BY SPARKELS!!! XD

  • God DAMN you SM! First you turn vamps into emo gay douchebags that sparkle THEN you rip off Fire Emblem!? I HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE YYYYYYYYYYYYYYOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO­UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!!!­!!!!

  • @FEPwner86 WHAT?! WHERE'D SHE RIP OFF FIRE EMBLEM?!?!

    then again, i'm convinced that she ripped off quite a few other things...they may be coincedences, but still...

  • Those werewolfs remind me of teddybears xD

  • @PERRYlina2 Way to counter-argue valid points made in this video....

  • why the fuck is this all so complicated?! it's simply, Stephanie it rly is: if u love someone and u want to be with them then u stay with them if u dnt then u LEAVE and NO u CNT have both feelings at the same time!!!!

  • Twilight for beginners:

    Twilight = boring. No plot. No personality for Bella. Yuck.

    New Moon = 400 pages which might as well have been blank.

    Eclipse = cheesy, cliché-ed triangle drama. No plot. Yuck.

    Breaking Dawn = Jacob becomes a pedo. Mmm. Twisted ponro...

  • You know, watching this again after more than I year, I realized......

    This video is still funny! LMAO.

  • FYI your views are over 9000! Yay!

  • i really enjoy your rants :)

    if i were in rome and i saw a sparkly man - i would think, "Tinker Bell Man." not a vampire. i always wondered how he was endangering himself by doing that.

  • I could make my own review, but the movie "Vampires Suck" suffices as my review of both Twilight and New Moon.

  • That's why Hermione Granger is a better role model than her. 

  • @PERRYlina2  haha. Learn to spell before you insult idiot.

  • Do you ever find that Twilight lovers tell you that you haven't read the books properly when you tell them of the dismal plot line? And that because you haven't read it then you can't fully appreciate it?

    (After giving my friends 43 reasons as to why it's stupid (and I'd barely started) they have finally started to leave me alone)... -.-

  • @PERRYlina2 You seem to be having trouble with punctuation....

  • HE'S GONNA DIE FROM SPARKLES!

  • @PERRYlina2

    You.Make.Me.SMH! 

  • Bitch you are my new hero.

    You're really funny and eloquent in your delivery, major props.

  • this makes the legend of chunli look like the best movie ever

  • The only connection they had "was that he couldn't get inside her mind"...and her pants.

    "Yes, bitch, he's avoiding you"

  • I agree with you 100%! I agree with every word you said.

  • @Anahifanss Typical Twitard. Can't let anyone voice an opnion that's not equal to yours. Also, do you have any idea how immature and retarted you look when you write a bunch of swear words at someone for voicing an opnion. You're just proving a point to all Anti Twilight people. All Twitards really haven't anything intelligant to say in response to an opnion different then yours. If you don't like the video don't watch it.

  • @Anahifanss i care :)

  • @Anahifanss No one forced you to watch. -__-

  • wait hold on....vampires cant go into a room without being invited in? is that part of the myth?

  • @SuperMaria911 yup. an old part

  • @Tprinces Why can't vampires enter rooms without invitation? Is it some religious or aristocratic meaning behind it?

  • @Tprinces gay

  • @realofficialuzumaki How wonderful that you've got the courage to admit it! Many homosexuals are normally coerced by the bigotry of society to remain silent about their true feelings. The fact that you so openly adress Tprinces and admit your orientation is just marvelous! Kudos, man! Or... girl. Whatever you are.

  • @DrStrangebomb1993 -.- i meant about the myth

  • @SuperMaria911

    Also, vampires have control over wolves, which would probably explain why werewolves hate them. Sorry, just thought I'd say that.

  • @SuperMaria911

    That was mentioned in 'Dracula'. Though you'd have to pay pretty close attention to the dialogue to pick that up...

  • I love you. Please marry me and become my Twilight hating bride. :)

  • This has nothing to do with this video but, I just remembered that a week or so back, you decided to do some arbitrary thinking on Twilight with SidewaysThinker. Just when I thought that the videos that the pair of you made couldn't get any better, they just did. :D

    Keep dissing Twilight! Oh and could you please do a rant on this whole Justin Bieber craze? It's almost as bad as the Twilight one, if not, WORSE.

  • oh my gods, I just have to say this really random thing: U have such a cute laugh!!!

  • SENSE MOTHAFUCKA - DO YOU MAKE IT?

    Best part of the entire video - probably woke up my entire building after I heard that

  • I was flicking through my sisters copy of new moon to see the idiocy of the months turned to page 487 for some reason, read the first two words on the page and felt it summed up my entire opinion of the twilight series: 'That's stupid.'.

  • While perusing through some books at the library y'day, I found something that made me question humanity. And that was finding New Moon next to To Kill a Mockingbird. So after my seething anger went down a few degrees, I thought "what the hell" and did what I never thought I'd do. I started reading the damn thing. Needless to say, I laughed, a lot. And after a few pages I wanted to hang Edward by the balls.  It's an amusing read, I gotta say. All in all, a semi-productive day.

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  • @divagirl408 for starters, there is no metaphorical, literary or feasible reason for them to. if it symbolized something, or gave an excuse that actually made sense, I would have been fine with it. for another thing, she not only ignores the vampire mythos, but she insults it. probably without even realizing it. there is no rhyme or reason for the creative liberties she takes, and her reasons that she gives are half assed at best.

    basically - she did no research and has no excuse.

  • @Tprinces hey you make really funny vids, esp in twilight:D

    Just finished reading dark tower, you should read it too, really awesome book series and its full of goodies:D

  • @MamainMarokko read my response to MickeyShapedCupcakes

  • @Tprinces Hey, I've been reading your Twilight rewrite on FF and I absolutely adore it! You're a very talented writer. Seriously, you are extremely talented in order to make TwiShite actually readable.

  • Something I never got about Bella hating being older than Edward, isn't she older than Jacob?

  • Why can't anyone see that Meyer dropped a sparkling 12-pound basketball-sized chocolate mud baby and decided to call it art?

  • Ya know, i don't remember you going over this, but this bugs me also. Apparently every human in this book thinks THIS wonderful equation : "Sparkling= vampire OH MY GAWD RUN AWAY!" no Meyer, no. You failed, no one would think that, not even in YOUR world. Edward at some point in the first book said that vamps created the myth so why would people think sparkles= vampire if they think of Dracula or blade when it comes to vampires? FAIL good lord ><

  • if i was reading the book i wouldn't bang the book with my head. i'd rip the pages out

  • I literally want to marry you <3 You are awesome.

  • Is that yaoi on your wall, if not than where is that picture from? I can't believe that I didn't notice those points until after you pointed them out.

  • When I read the fourth book I wanted to throw it agianst the wall, though, I didn't becuase I'd have a hole in my wall and it would cost more to repair the damage. The book made no sense, the birth of a mutant child (half-vampire) was just...discusting. Oh! and the almost "epic" battle between the Volturi and the cullens...didn't happen, nope, in fact they just stood there and talked about the baby or whatever like it was a normal conversation. WTF? (so much for the training) pfft...

  • Nothing brings out one's creativity so much as an object you hate with a passion.

    Right, Princess? Anyway, good luck on your THIS SHOULD HAVE BEEN F***KING TWILIGHT! series.

  • bella actz like a big baby i waz just like get the hell over it and then jacob and bella they r together for like 2 monthz then theyr like i love u wat the hellllll i love the way yur like yes bitch lol then i loved jacob at the beging of the book then he actz all ugh at the end adn middle of the book but she did call the werewolvez shifterz in breaking dawn(wich by the way i dont care for that much) it iz really gay tho o shit i fhuckin sparkle neww moon waz a total

  • "can't sparkle in public"

    it sounds synonymous to "streaking in public" in the sense that, as it may be abnormal and embarrassing, no one would assume you were supernatural for doing so.

    just on drugs.

  • Actually, there is a certain type of Werewolf that CAN transform any time besides the Full Moon - but they still are forced to transform during a Fulll Moon, as well.

  • I played around with the calculator program and found out that in New Moon, Edward is 6 times older than Bella. Logic is awesome!

  • if i were bella i would get an ice cream cone after he left then find an new beau

  • Okay, reality check, Smeyer may be pedestrian when it comes to her writing. I took the liberty of reading an excerpt from your 'book'. Firstly, please learn how to spell 'Prologue'. Secondly, your writing is horrendous: "The stalagmites and stalactites hung from the top and bottom of the rocky mouth as teeth, ready to devour a lost soul that would be so foolish as to wander into its clutches". Seriously? People in glass houses should never throw stones...

  • YOUR SO AWSOME

  • My entire college English class got into a twenty minute discussion about how shitty these books are and how great HP is. It was awesome!

  • @ZeroMyHero99 OMG I would have loved to hear that, and HP is the best and Twlight is horrible.

  • @Hattaru

    We talked about all the themes in HP, how Bella was a shitty heroine, the movies were horrible, etc.

  • @ZeroMyHero99 The reason why Hp is such a great movie in my opinon is because, it has never been done before, yes there were tones of Witch and Wizard movies but not how the plot involves kids how the man story involves 3 children, and how beautiful and in almost realizic it was!!! like in a way it could happen plus the characters are one in a million, The character grow in the book for child to adult, somthing twlight does not have, I can't belive some people liek the film!!! I don't know why?

  • @ZeroMyHero99 i'm in creative writing. we bash twilight all the time when the archetype comes up, or talking about how to write a bad story. there's also a kid who associates HP with practically all symbolism, archetypes, etc. it's awesome.

  • like your videos there funny

  • Bella is just patetic.And, people, please realise yourself! Twilight isn`t at all so great saga.Yesq there are some things that I like for it, but generally it isn`t great or even good.Bella is a false, pretending little bitch and Edward is self-assured brat.

  • RIP the poor trees that were sacrificed for those 4 BLANK pages.

  • Bella is an emotionally unstable little kid, she thinks the first boyfriend-a vampire-is the center of her universe...jesus christ! Bella needs to be slaped several times in the face, she needed to move on with her life instead of being a dumbass. good rant. Bad series. that is that! :p

  • Suriously i wish there was more girls like you at my school. There all whiney and crap.

  • One of them should just eat and end the whinny bitch fighting. Lessons to be learned pedifiles are sexy And you can be a necrophiliac or may be go for the bestiality decisions, decision. Just a friendly message for the kids of course all vampires are 12 so... Throw a bag of weed and twinkies one way and run the other. Forget about crosses and stakes and the sun that will just make people want to disco dance. OMG they are truely evil!

  • I wasn't sure how a Twivampire died by sparkles. But now I know XD

  • Bella doesn't have feelings, silly, and she has no friends, only minions. I'm sticking to this theory.

  • Great review. Really made me laugh. :)

  • New Moon New Shit:)

  • I would have loved if Bella got eaten and Edward killed by the Vultory

  • Twilight: One ungraceful little bitch choice between bestiality and necrophilia. Necrophilia wins!

  • @reiman1308

    LOL!

  • @MickeyShapedCupcakes there's a difference between being emotional, and being super obsessed with an infatuation. i've suffered heartbreak before. I recently had to separate from a man whom I've loved for more than three years. but to completely shut down for four months and ignore the world around you... it's a self-centered and overly-dramatic thing to do.

  • @Tprinces This!!! My bf of two and a half years and I broke up recently. Yes, it still hurts, yes I had plenty of tears shed over it, I even tranced out for a day or so, but I still went to work, I still talked to my friends, and I still left the house! In fact I went out to see The Karate Kid by myself to get my mind off of everything and I ended up having a great time. I'm still not over the guy or the situation, but I still have a life. Four months is just ridiculous.

  • @MickeyShapedCupcakes i think they all suck... (just thought id throw my opinion in there ; )

  • @MickeyShapedCupcakes Oh yes. How incredibly immature of me to criticize an over-hyped piece of fan-fiction. I have read all of New Moon, and quite frankly, it was worse than the first book. And, allow me to ask you one thing - how am I the one who is being over dramatic when the main heroine of the book decides to jump off of a cliff to hear the voice of the man who knocked her into a table and left her high and dry?

  • @Tprinces Yeah and what were they getting at- I mean, "I'm happy Stephenie Meyer made Vampires different". Well, if they didn't like vampires in the first place, what vampires really were... that's fine... but Stephenie Meyer "sold out" by making vampires SHINY!! Stephenie had no right to change something that's always had a "standard", like vampires.

  • @InstinctualJealousy There can't be a "standard" for vampires, because vampires are mythological. The only force that gives them meaning is their fan base. That said, I hate Meyer's interpretation, because the IMAGE is sickening to picture. I would be TERRIFIED if a guy had pale, glittery skin, a lust for blood, and hideous abs :)

  • @MunkyDrag0n But regardless- there has been some sort of standard that 90% of vampire stories follow, and if they have twists to the standard, it's nothing large, like SPARKLEY GOODNESS.

  • @InstinctualJealousy True. Vampires have been known to walk about during daytime, have superhuman strength, and fall in love with humans (I love the Castlevania series!) When they SPARKLE (has nothing to do with vampires whatsoever) then they can no longer be taken seriously. Heck, the wannabes in Twilight could have easily been body-building, sex-starved, anemics (wait...they WERE!)

  • @MickeyShapedCupcakes

    the only reason people like the books is because they get the emotional gratification of having a normal girl get with a hot guy like edward who does all her bidding and basically lays down so she can walk all over him.

    the vampires in the twilight series do nothing but sparkle. they don't anything new or different to offer the vampire myth but that.

  • @fozique Well the books do have that and it's gratifying that we can experience that in a book. but I do disagree, with the vampires in Twilight they can go out into the sunlight but they sparkle, They can be around Garlic, They can feast apon animals and have self control over there thirst with human blood, The vampires in Twilight ARE different in good ways from the ones you see like Dracula

  • @MickeyShapedCupcakes none of those new different ways you listed are new. angel in the tv series feasted on animals instead of humans and he had self control. i don't completely hate the series but there are certain things i really dislike about them that ruins the books as a whole for me.

    the point is that everyone is entitled to what they like, but you have to recognize that twilight uses cheap tricks to move the story along and attract readers like the love triangle.

  • @MickeyShapedCupcakes there aren't any important themes raised, it's just a story with a girl, a love triangle, and meaningless danger mixed in. i do agree stephenie meyer improves writing-wise as the books progress but her ideas have no debt.

  • @fozique alright its your opinion and i have mine:D Yes she does get better by the last book:D

  • @MickeyShapedCupcakes Nothing happens in the last book though.

  • @potterbroadwayfan92 yes! LIke there wedding, the birth of a child, her becoming a vampire, Different vampires around the world come together, and A almost fight:D lots of things happen

  • @MickeyShapedCupcakes Like I said nothing interesting happens in the book.

  • @MickeyShapedCupcakes What stephanie Meyer did was completely ruin the mythology of vampires. The original vampires slept in coffens in the day and would awake at night to feed on human blood. If they where exposed to sunlight they would burn to ashes. They didn't sparkle. They didn't love becouse they where the "undead." And just becouse the Cullens feed on wildlife and not humans does not make them vegetarians. And Tprinces can judge it all she want's becouse it's freedom of speech.

  • @SpavVy1993 Well that's your opinion and I have mine, I can like the way S. Meyer changed them( into more humane and reasonable creatures). SO I can have the freedom of speech of voicing my opinion on what she has said....

  • @MickeyShapedCupcakes I'm not saying you can't like the way Stephanie Meyer changed vampires but you told Tpirinces to shut up about the books. She and everyone else has the right to judge them.

  • @SpavVy1993 I never said to shut up, its her opinion and all i wanted to say is she got on my nerves... about the books, that's all

  • @MickeyShapedCupcakes Yeah you did :D read your comment. You told her to shut up about the books.

  • @SpavVy1993 what ever, i was mad, so what its my freedom of speech

  • @MickeyShapedCupcakes I honestly don't know why you would let a rant on a video make you so angry it's pointless. SO YEAH WHAT EVER :D

  • @MickeyShapedCupcakes you should really look up the word 'infatuation' and do me a huge favor: stfu. this girls life revolves around a man. she is 17 years old and throws her whole life away to settle down and pop out some damn demon babies. she throws away a perfectly nice guy and the only way SMeyer could justify it is by making him a mouth-raping pedophile LATER ON. edward is abusive and bella is annoying. get the f*** over it. good job TPrinces. :)

  • @LunaCullen6 i'm just going to point out that vampires are not real and therefore can be whatever you want them to be, whether that's burned by the sun or sparkling in it. just because someone else wrote vampire books differently doesn't mean that's the way it is. Oh, and as for bella, she's just a character! who cares if she's not that interesting? no offence to anyone, but not that many people are.

  • @MickeyShapedCupcakes So what's the point in calling the vampires? There's a difference between adding your own twist, and having something where it might as well have been a creature you invented. And it does matter if Bella isn't interesting, because SHE"S the main character. If we don't care about the MAIN CHARACTER, why should we care about any of the drama, or danger?

  • @DigimontamerB I don`t care if she is main character, she is patetic.Twilight is pityful exuse for a book.But you must be one of the deluded Twilight fans.So what,are you going to curst me for having different opinion?Go ahead, jerk!Like I care what morons like you are thinking!!!!!

  • @Aslara Uh... I agree with you. That was my point. The fact that Bella is the main character means that she SHOULD be interesting, but she isn't. Therefore twilight is bad, because we are utterly bored by the main character. That was my point. I hate Twilight.

  • @nightCave77 You need to find something else to do that's better than advertising for an already advertised movie on youtube.

  • I'm curious...what's your impression of True Blood? The show or the books. I just call the books True Blood because more people know the show ._.

    And I find this hillarious :D I love it ^^

  • sorry for being off-topic, but i love that picture behind you. :DDDD

  • OMG TPrinces, What is wrong with you? Meyers werwolves are nothing new... Modern werewolves have the ability to change at the drop of a hat because they gain control over the ability and animosity that causes the change. This is expressed in the Underworld movie series, with Jon Talbain of "DarkStalkers," "Teen Wolf," and various other forms of lycan based entertainment...

  • @DemonicRemption which would be fine - if she effin explained it.

  • @Tprinces Oh that's your problem... *sigh* True it would make more sense to be explained... Heck I'm working to explain the concept in two werewolf based stories I'm currently working on... Well it's three actually, but I digress... Since in various forms of werewolf fiction self-controlled transformations are explained Meyer really has no excuse...