God's Holy Fire - Death by Misadventure

[liellibg]

When Moses was on the Mt. 70 elders stayed at the base they are what is known as the sanhedrin pharisees. They built the golden alter saying Moses was dead. The strange fire was prob a grain alcohol that would be offered to an egypt god. The Ark was some type of plasma electric device that pull energy out of the air. Lighting would come from it. Women were allowed so close. What happens to hair when you pull a sweater over your head? The beard is symbolic of lighting from Gods face mouth or vail

[julzabro]

LOL! Luv u!

[wordavee]

I haven't got to that bit yet, but having a quick look at it, I'd say the priests were looking forwards to a nice dinner every night, made with the finest ingredients.

"Throw the guts over there, sprinkle the blood around there! But just tuck those goat chops and the lamb henrys in the larder would you? Thanks, Oh, sacrificing a bit of butter onto that bread would be a holy gesture too."

This suggests the "Godly" requirements might just have a slightly more earthly origin.

[kalsolarUK]

All the talk of sacrifice in the bible is so clearly the thinking and invention of ancient men (rather than something ordered by an all wise, all powerful God) that I'm amazed the believers can't see it.

[ONENIGGER2ANOTHER]

Nigger you are a poor-man's Eddie Izzard!! You'll do better with the cross-dressing!!

[Tony2438]

Pan must be a fryer

[kalsolarUK]

lol, nice one..oh dear oh dear!

[klaron0]

I don't understand this story completely. God was pissed off because they had lit the burners OUTSIDE the tabernacle? (but it would be ok if they had used the fire that was provided within the tabernacle?)

[kalsolarUK]

God didn't like the fact that they lit the burners with "un-holy fire", meaning that they should have only used the fire that was already provided inside the tabernacle. This minor slip made god angry and he burnt them to a crisp to teach them a lesson. lol. Crazy I know..but thats the bible for ya!

[ciaochowbella]

Ya know, if you burnt me to a crisp, it would teach me a lesson.

[SuperiorSavior]

you should've cut the camera to the kitchen to demonstrate pan's power :p

[DefaultPosition]

Top notch!

[J43fan]

well not much to say. God is strict.

[kalsolarUK]

strict?? The god of the bible is positively wicked!

[J43fan]

no the wicked one is the one dissobeying Gods rule.

[Denamic]

That would be god then.

[drakeblackhorn]

haha. when 'quoting god', you sounded a bit like a character from a monty python movie.

[kalsolarUK]

lol, well I suppose in many ways god is as bizarre in behaviour as any monty python character.

[drakeblackhorn]

definitely. monty python characters are funny, though.

[brentaal666]

Pantheism! :D

[darkhyena]

Bring back Pan and Kitty! They're such scene stealers.

[ashboxtoo]

Leviticus, Moses's failed second sequal. Books 1 and 2 where full of mircules and floods, murder and rape, slavory and incest, there where towns destroyed.

The imagination must have been stretching when all he could think of was: Complicated and percise sacrifical burnings, and additional commandments that expand on the 10 origionals but later will be ignored.

[EternalFire00]

Pantastic, indeed.

[kalsolarUK]

Thanks for the comments so far guys, much appreciated - keeps me sane in a strange way, lol.

[lazarushf]

Here's five more eggs for your sacrifice...

[Atheiossupremos]

WORKSHIP THE PAN!!!

[whippsa]

Funny stuff. Very well done. Familiarity with the Bible at some time in your life, either forced or voluntary, will make it funnier.

It's a well constructed spoken humorous essay.

[pantherinbrazil]

NO WONDER EVERYBODY WAS WEARING SANDLES....hahahahahaha

[kalsolarUK]

lol, the bible..you just could'nt make it up could ya?

[WorksopGimp]

All religions are the word of MAN.God only exists in our minds,dependent on your cultural background for the core of that belief.When i see a Pope walk on water then maybe i could believe,maybe.Dont forget David Blaine can levitate

[riversonthemoon]

More people should read PAN's holy book. It explains how he seeded life on Earth through PANspermia. It outlines the POT's fall from grace (actually just the kitchen counter) and how he now tempts people with stews and such.

And the church service is wonderful. We eat of the PANcake and sing PANtera songs.

[kalsolarUK]

lol, you seem to know your hardware history, The pot fell from grace after calling the kettle black and is no longer allowed to enter the PANtheon.

[riversonthemoon]

Who would have thought that this a humble kitchen utensil might actually be a PANacea for all the world's ills? Pantastic!

Too much?

[WtfJuju]

I BELIEVE!

[AzmodanKijur]

Nice vid! 5 stars

[JuciShockwave]

Pan is pretty cool. Great video.

[NaoTio]

"Anyway, you'll find their charred remains over there."

Excellent video. Your accent is very cool.

[Philosophobia]

Pan seems like a good God. When's the last time you could remember Yahweh ever making you breakfast? You can't cook one damn thing on him at all.

Can I pray for bacon?

[mattblackcat]

Do you have any pictures of ... 'Pan's People' ?

[Crosisborg]

Look at all these pan jokes in the comments. Pathetic. Its like a pandemic. :P

[subach]

You can cook spaghetti sauce in a pan.

Hail the FSM!

[JuciShockwave]

FSM rule!!!

[Metaleks]

Another brilliant video :D

[BayerLexan]

What a lame god, I bet it's not even teflon coated. Yeah, and so where's the eggs?

I got this niffty tiny little frying pan made especially for fried eggs. It even has a little egg with a face on the handle. I prefer the multiple speciallied gods myself.

[kalsolarUK]

Lol, well Pan is much less fussy about how you do your sacrificing...and he won't turn you into a ball of flame - unless you accidentally flambe your food and set your sleve on fire.

[dNRMediaProductions]

Don't mock the almighty Pan ..or you'll get fried

[dNRMediaProductions]

Don't mock the almighty Pan ..or you'll get fried

[kalsolarUK]

lol...oh dear...no pan intended huh? Doh...I mean pun.

[msginca]

OMG!!! Pan is a *REAL* God!!!

I am no longer a pastafarian!!!

I pledge my eternal soul to PAN!!!

Pan will save me from the FIRE!!!

[kalsolarUK]

lol, Pastafarian!!! - glad to have been instrumental in your conversion to Pandarism.

[ExSaint1379]

I don't believe any of this. The number 23 represents God. Discordian FTW!

[msginca]

Yes, yes ... I am a panderer!

Praise be to Pan!!!

[msginca]

I think this religion could really go somewhere ... It's catchy! We'll have to write some "Gospels" and generate an entire biblical history, but hey, each one of us is smarter than any thousand theists who ever lived. Should be a sinch!

[darthdidious]

Praise to Pan!

[EvilZoe]

You have great vids....lol

[Largo64]

But of course, He DOES enjoy setting people on fire!

And obviously Pan is not a Pan-theist!

[kalsolarUK]

quite... not often you get stories from leviticus read out in the pulpit on a sunday I bet.

[CousinoMacul]

Dude, you rock! Gisburne was right about you.

[Gihaal]

Panu akbar!

[ReligionIsACrutch]

TOTAWY UNBEWEEVABLE!!!

[illuminator83]

nice one

[russianlegionaire]

Pan is God. God is Pan.

[kalsolarUK]

Well, like most stories in the bible, they are often self-satirising so I try and under-play it a bit.

[lazymornings]

you make it sound more respectful than it deserves