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From: JamesNintendoNerd
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  • Much of these clips are based on theoretical physics, and most of us who are actual scientists don't have a fucking clue what they're talking about half of the time. But that's what made Star Trek very unique: some of it is based on actual theoretical physics and some of it is based on crap the writers made up to sound smart or to maintain story.

  • I'm one of those Stargate fans who actually CORRECT the mistakes in the theoretical wormhole physics.

    Needless to say, I understood almost all of these.

  • I understood most of them....

  • i like the treknobabble to a degree, i mean it is just a deus ex machine to get around a tough problem most of the time, but its not like you cant understand it just...its more often than not wrong...they do need to tone it down a bit though.

    and i say bounce a graviton particle beam off the main deflector dish

    thats the way we do things lad we're making shit up as we wish.

    the klingons and the romulans pose no thread to us,

    cus if we find we're in a bind we just make some shit up.

  • When I watched this while eating two hamburgers and drinking a can of root beer I felt dumb for not eating something more sofisticated.

  • The best part is that Number 3 is the first In-Universe use of technobabble to baffle the listener. In this case, the Ferengi right next to Riker.

  • Funnily, number three was technobabble in technobabble - he actually invented all what he said to distract the ferengi.

  • good list, lame narration

  • I hated Star Trek as a kid. It was so boring. Last year I gave the franchise a change by looking at it as nothing but entertainment. Voyager and DS9 were ok, the original series and enterprise were never on, but I still didn't like Star Trek. Then I saw the next generation, and I was hooked.

    It is great entertainment, I love it. Great characters with Data being my favourite, the Borg are excellent, and the technobabble is brilliant. I now love Star Trek.

  • @KikBlava

    good for you

  • LMAO!! THANK YOU!! Someone had to finally say it!! If Roddenberry were alive when these STNG episodes were shot he'd rip all that crap right off the script pages! He wouldn't allow all this techno-shit that comes up in the last three minutes to save the good guys - HARDLY dramatic. The biggest WTF moments on TV.

  • I hate that red cunt.

  • who writes this stuff god damn i cant understand half the shit they talking about

  • #3 was deliberately obtuse. Riker was trying to confuse that Ferengi with technobabble.

  • This leads me to think James doesnt know that its all bullshit.. And that makes me sad. Does that mean not everyone knows its all bullshit? Sure, many of the words are real but they almost always use them wrong or use them in a way that demonstrates that they dont understand it.

  • This is why I'm a Star Wars fan =P

  • While the details may be a little off, 10-3 are all based on real scientific concepts to a lesser or greater degree...

    Only 2 & 1 were total bullshit, but 2 was *supposed* to be bullshit - it was Riker making up crap to baffle the Ferengi (dude with the big ears) sat next to him!

    Way to make yourself look uneducated, bro.

  • You can see why in No.1 there Barclay would feel at home on Voyager.

  • 2/3 of that is actually plausible (including the quantum realities.) the rest is pure BS. (the field pulse of the visor would fit into that catagory)

  • Yeah, I understood a lot of that

  • @JamesNintendoNerd most of that technobabble actually makes sense though. you want good technobabble, you should go to voyager.

  • @JamesNintendoNerd You might enjoy Star Wreck. It's a Star Treck parody made by Finnish fans on a low budget. Because the film was so succesful they are now making a film called Iron Sky which has gained international attention. You should google it because it's definitely worth checking out.

  • Lol!

    Worf should've had one in...damn can't remember the episode now. I'll post it if I think of it.

  • I hate to correct you Mr. AVGN, but the title for #1 is wrong. It is titled "The Nth Degree" not "The 9th Degree". But overall I like your top ten video.

  • im nerd enough to make sense out of some of the technobabbles lol

  • Haven't watched it yet, but he better include tacyons and neutrino fields. The word tacyon is was so overused in TNG. xD

  • he just had to bring it to back to the future lol.

  • LOL, trekkies going apeshit. James is obviously just making jokes. I enjoy star trek but you got to admit that most of these are quite funny and mostly even just completely nonscientific, hence scifi.

  • This guy is just a dumb fuck. Star Trek technobabble really isn't hard to understand.

  • @ssssroryssss2 Except that most of it is random bullshit meant to sound fancy.

  • 3:51 does the character (i dont know startrek :P) say 117?

  • Tend to agree that these are not good examples of the point you're trying to prove. Not all of these are just pulled out of someone's ass. For example, if you've taken a college level course on quantum mechanics, you would have an idea of where they're coming from on #4.

  • i like complex shit, but star trek is just way too much for me

  • made me laugh :)

  • Believe me or not, never watches star trek! But by the way this review looks, it's full of science shit, or as you said, science fiction, full of shit!

  • Do you watch Star Trek, or merely criticize it? I did not find any of these examples to be illogical. For each of the situations depicted in your rudimentary audio/ video display system, the dialogue was, in fact, substantial to contemporary events.

    Perhaps, Sir, it is not the "technobabble" that is "full o' shit," but rather your crude interpretation of plausible and realistic information.

    Also, your cranium would not erupt in the event of incomprehensible or extraneous input.

  • what? no multi modal reflection sorting?

    LAME!

  • sad that i understand this

  • #3 was fucked up intentionally. He was tricking the Ferengi.

  • The irony is that #3 is "fake" technobabble that Riker made up.

    And I can't tell the diffrence to the "real".

  • man, you dont know anything about science. fror example: pulsars are very real. theyre actually small burned out suns rotating very, very, very fast due to the small size compared to the sun it previously was. dont see any technobabble there, just real physics.

  • Mate, Sick!!!!!

    Most of us can understand BUT does these things make sense in reality???

    In the original series were the technology of the time wasn't as advanced, the technobabbles were closer to reality!! with the advancement of technology the babbles had to go wild!!! But in my opinion the respirator is the best! it is not in the video, it is simple and not as much of a babble as the ones mentioned!!!!!!

  • number 5 fastest rapper ever

  • One of the best takes on the absurdity of technobabble is the "turbo encabulator"

    /watch?v=lVZ8Ko-nss4

  • Picard doesn't fuck around with his passwords......

    Who hasn't made up this kind of technobbable in your head at some point in time?

  • At 5:54, Is that Murdock?

  • @MrNogunsnoglory Yep that would be the crazy dude from the A-team.

  • computer: Enter code.

    (Data recites extremely long code)

    computer: There was one mistake.

    Data: Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu-

  • Is it bad that almost all of this made perfect sense to me?

    Nah...

  • Yeah....so I understood all of this.....

  • quantam fuckfarts

  • star trek vs star wars

  • There was a animated series?

  • @sillygrl23 Yes, just look for it on YouTube, they used the original actors to voice thir characters

  • I covered all that stuff in grade 5!

  • If only AVGN would triangulate the recursive algorithm of techno-babble found in such examples and keep the systemic check in coherent state, the mental ramification of bilateral conunnfrum would naturally fixate itself through warping in tachyon dilation..

  • If you watch Trek enough and know a little theoretical physics, it usually makes a good deal of sense. Names for things are consistent. I understood everything Data said in the First Contact clip.

  • Lol looks like AVGN fought his way to the surface of James's mind @ 4:33 xD

  • #1 should be the Nth degree not the 9th degree.

  • many stuff arent that hard to comprehend just need a little of study understand

  • Anti-matter is merely an atom with a negative nucleus and positive electrons. Those are real too, they're called positrons. In fact, you can have anti-matter for almost any matter.  You could have anti-matter gold. Just don't store it with normal gold. The perfect proportions of, um, sorry but sub-atomic particles would want to recombine according to their polarities and release all the energy holding them together. Ok, need to watch the rest now, still on example 1.

  • I hope you don't take this a techno-babble, but aside from all the arguments that the other few educated people have posted anti-matter matter reactions are very real. If you have a nuclear explosion, you release 1% of the energy stored in that matter roughly. However, if you combine matter and anti-matter you get a 100% release.  I understand that first I may need to teach you what anti-matter is. Say an atom has a positive nucleus surrounded by negative electrons.

  • Quite a bit of it was actually understandable... but most of all I liked the fact that Dwight Schultz (Murdock from the A-Team) appeared for the number one quote.

  • Just made a warp bubble in the bathtub

  • wait, during #8 isnt polymyr some type of fabric?

  • @AzikuFilmz polyester

  • Computer,Go 2 Facebook :D

  • The problem with STNG is that it is too intelligent and cerebral for this guy narrating.

  • These morons commenting here didn't really understand anything outside of individual words, which were mashed together to form stupid shit with barely tenuous relations to each other. Just because they are applying this jargon to a concept that actually does make sense doesn't mean that the way the show says it is truly accurate.

    And why the fuck is Data asking a computer something that he already knows? Why not just plug his damn finger into the thing and say "yes, we get the same conclusion".

  • Please review Galaxy Quest!

  • Will you or have you, reviewed the 11th one? please?

  • @MalfoyHaruka He did, now visit his website.

  • #3 "Rascals" Is out of context, in the episode RIker was wildly inventing terms on the spot to distract the alien onto a console while he typed some other commands on another console. I think the character was intentionally trying to come up with confusing "techno-babble" and what he said had very little to do with the plot which should be recognized as completely different from authentic techno-babble it may have even been an inside joke among the writers as a comment about techno-babble.

  • Yeah, your and idiot.

  • @jnaggs If you're going to call someone an idiot, at least spell everything correctly.

  • are you retarded ? it is all understadable //

  • Some of it was grounded in modern science, some was fabricated, but it's all pretty consistent and coherent in the Star Trek Universe.

  • You missed Voyager having it's sheilds completely drained by the "Interfere-o-metric" pulses in "The Swarm"

  • @whirlpool28 May want to check out interferometry. It's a real thing.

  • @macman824 True, but check out SF Debris review on the episode, it's clear the writers had no idea what they were talking about.

  • this all isent anything compared to voyager

  • Actually alot of this is plausible, like antimatter engines and warp, however we're a LOOOOOONG way from that mainly because we would need 33 times the mass of a ship in antiparticles to go to warp, but most of this is based off of science or scientific theory.

  • good science fiction has its roots in good science

  • I love the way in number 3 you can so see J Frakes reading all that crap off a peice of paper just off camera shot :)

  • Well, Star Trek aint for the scientifically stupid.

  • @dmed312 Says he who uses the word "ain't".

  • @IronreaverVII That was deliberate.

  • I think they make sense when you slow it down. like a warp bubble in the warp coil, which from their description sounds like a bubble that would occur inside the blue warp tube that you always see in the series. Kinda like a bubble inside a soda glass.

  • some of this stuff makes sence, but most of it is just fuckin gibberish...

  • as snarf66 already pointed out, most of this stuff is actually not techno-babble in any way, they just played around with expressions to make it sound more technical and/or futuristic ... but the real alltime champion of techobabble would be VOY !!! just think of the epsiode "message in a bottle" ... EMH2: the secodary gyrodyne relais in the propulsion field intermatrix have depolarised! half of it is made up and the rest just queer :-P

  • "Matter-antimatter?  What's he talking about?"

    DERRRRRRRR

  • I think James should meet the guys from redlettermedia

  • Too bad you never had a serious college physics course. If you had, you would have known that except for the reference to "anti-time," everything they said makes more or less sense.

  • @jamiegottagunATyahoo I am not sure about warp-bubbles. Are you sure thats real?

  • I was kinda hoping you'd go for the actual made-up shit not just the scenes of them speechifying long sentences of real words. Ah well, that'd probably require some actual work. Good job on your commentary though or whatever.

  • Real: subatomic fluctuations, mesons, leptons, matter/antimatter, integrator, aperture, space-time continuum, energy signature, polymer, neuro-relay (hint: you could need them!), organic nerve-impulses (hint: because you don’t have those! :P), signal degradation, nano, synthetic, convergence, fissure, quantum flux, transformational matrix calculations, pulsars, rotation time / rotational period (of pulsars), temporal notation, frequency harmonic, deflector (not in the way meant in ST), inherent

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  • most science is BS. If they have all these real terms for these things, where are my space colonies and time machine at? because honestly since the 2000's this world is bout as boring as watching snails take a shit.

  • #3 "....the primary Heisenphram terminal..."

    Can't...stop...laughing.

  • @damienmetalwind LOOOL!

  • @steverooni99 Thats it xD

  • There is real technobabble on the VOYAGER. not no bad here. Most of this stuff makes sense.

  • @JakeT7 Even though all the stories are from the same writer - Gene Roddenberry there are different script writers, they may have twisted the words a bit but in the words of the book this all comes together quite nicely

  • yeah, um, TNG's techno-babble was nothing compared to voyager's

  • "how about quantum fuck farts" lmfao

  • I knew what the second one was. The rotation of pulsars is the only reason we've been about to locate many galaxies and stars.

  • @MrAndisHughes What was that for? Lighten up why don't you?

  • @snarf66 <---------Thank you...And to respond to MrHughes: I forgive you. And SMILE when You call me lamewod. Also, its spelled 'w A d'.

  • My brain hurts.............

  • Clearly, you're the DUMBEST idiot ever. If you had any proper education, especially in the field of Science, you'd know that some of these terms are already in use.

  • @AeonXero Why are you taking this video so seriously? Forever alone man.

  • So, you're just playing back the dialogue? Thought you might be stating what it would mean if what they were saying wasn't bullshit.

    No? Just checking.

  • am I the only one who read top 10 technobabes?

  • @0:04

    Dude, that's an awesome shot with all 5 Trek ships. Where did that come from?

  • AARGH!

  • Around 4:46, we see Riker faking technobabble for real(within the context of the episode!!) to fool a Farengi. So nit-piking about that scene is un-fair because JameseNintendoNerd took it out of context. Riker used the oldies-but goodies, "framastadt" & "hiesenFRAM". Those of us who read know this was to get a laugh from the audience. To be fair to JamesNN; He handles his own techno-bab'l quite nicely & I understood it. As for 'power-flow anti-atenuater'=an deflecter of certain unwanted NRGs.

  • JamesNintendoNerd would make a great network executive. Their type believed the majority of the audience to be stupid, too. I followed most of what was said in this Top-10 because I READ! True. I learned what 'temporal' meant thru' watching Star Trek & Doctor Who. But as for most other techno-babble here, I may-not know what a 'warp-bubble is, but I can use intuiveness and imagination get the general concept. I learned what Hiesenburg Compensator's were by looking up his name. I READ about it..

  • Technobabbles, the magic spells of star trek

  • k, i just need to say this. to all the people out there who said about them having a degree in physics and this guy is a retard because he didnt understand what they said, maybe NORMAL PEOPLE dont have physics degrees or are scientific advidors or whatever wont know about antimator fluxurator protons and shit like that. just cause he doesnt understand physics DOESNT MAKE HIM A RETARD!!!

  • Perhaps the guy doing the voice over should brush up on his understanding of science before making such a video? "the warp bubble in my ass." This is a real theory and you look like a jackass for implying it's nonsense.

  • HAHA! It's not even "The 9th Degree", it's "The Nth Degree" meaning infinite.

  • The script the guy has who does the voice over is awful! Star Trek: TNG employed scientific advisors for the technobabble, and if you have any more knowledge of physics than Troi's, you would understand most of what was said. The technobabble is theoretically plausible if we had the technology.

  • I think #3 "Rascals" is the best one. A lot of it sounds like it came from the TNG Technical Manual (a real book). Riker was intentionally trying to confuse the Ferengi, and I remember the Ferengi's reaction when Riker asked if he understood: "Well of course I do, HUMAN! I am not STUPID!!" LOL

  • Actually a lot of the "Technobable" in Star Trek is scientificly accurate. Especially in TNG they even employed scientists as advisors so that all their technobable would be scientificly accurate. Of course a lot of what they talk about is theoretic - since it's science fiction it naturally inludes technologies that are beyond our present level of technology and are therefore entirely theoretical (hey do i sound like Data or what? :-)

  • Riker ate all the pies.

  • Honorable mention goes to Kira Nerys from DS9:

    "Perimeter sensors are picking up a subspace oscillation. What the hell does that mean?"

    Even the in-universe characters have no idea what they're talking about :3

  • the guy in no.1 carries an iPad

  • Considering that I have a degree in physics and astronomy, a lot of what they say are real words that actually make sense. I can understand what they're saying, actually. #5 wasn't even technobabble, just a very long security code. #3 was just Riker making things up, as others have said. #2 - transformation matrix calculations is actually real. I took an entire physics class for it. And yes, I was confused. Everything in #2 was real science.

  • @snarf66 ,Dont forget #4, as a fellow science buff this really is based off our current theorys of quantum realities. Basically, through quantum physics, every action we do also has the opposite reaction in another reality. So it is entirely possible that in a number of realities I wouldnt have found this video, and but probably not many where I wouldnt be a Star Trek fan Oh nice job on the vid btw, just might upset some of the "Hardcore" trekkies out there, they're quick to riot over subspace.

  • @snarf66 yeah they use real scientific words but they string them together in a way that makes sense. I know they takes ideas for the warp engine and such from actual theories but the dialogue doesn't explain it. They just make that shit up. I mean how many fucking problems did they solve in next gen by doing bullshit like firing an 'inverse tachyon beam'? That isn't a real world explanation of anything.

  • @surfmunky Well, I don't think we can expect them to use duct tape to fix everything :)

  • @snarf66 Glad someone said it. Star trek technobabble was mostly plausible(until Voyager)

  • @secti0n31 Voyager was definitely stretching it. Worst Star Trek ever, even though I did enjoy watching it...mostly.

  • @snarf66

    yes, but it's not kindergarden physics so they don't get it :))

  • @snarf66 thanx!

  • @snarf66 good for you

  • #3 was meant to be confusing. Even in the Trek universe it was made-up, to confuse the Ferengi intruder.

  • How about TREKnobabbles. I actually like TREKnobabbles because I understand some (keyword some) of it.

  • Replace every piece of technobabble in a typical Star Trek TNG episode with a beep, as if they were swearing. If, after doing so, most of what you hear is an incessant stream of long beeps, then you should be watching something else.

  • for me, Star Trek always kind of expended my horizon!

  • Uh huh...

  • @DOHC2L

    Omg, Im literally rolling on the floor laughing. It's so true yes so.....NERD that it basicly makes my neurolgical humor impulses overload while my other neurological headquarters rupture into time antitime.

  • Wait... this all makes sense...

  • @Th1nxFr33 yeah I kinda feel james needs to freshen up on his astronomy, physics and such, cause I understood a lot of that stuff which was taken from actual science and of course used in a fictional manner. Star Trek does incorporate legit theories...

  • @melchiahxxx I'm calling bull shit right now.

  • @melchiahxxx Tch, nerd....LOL, jk mate

  • more like TREKnobabble.

  • Quantum fuck farts? Wasn't that the last James Bond film?

  • the nerd commentary is hilarious

  • Simple. Two points through sub-space rupture the space-time continuum, allowing tachyon particles-based vortex defragmentation.

  • TNG loves it's 'tachyon' particles.

  • haha good stuff and appropriate commentary. lol. minor complaints/observations : #5 was merely a password, #3 was deliberate technobabble to confuse the ferengi, and #1 left out the best part when riker says, "uh huh, i see that" when he obviously could not. lol. 5 stars anyway!

  • I'm sure it's been previously mentioned, but I think "Rascals" should be omitted from the top 10, because Riker was attempting to purposely confuse the Farengi (sp)? And none of what he was saying was actually based on established Star Trek scientific terminology. TNG is by far my favorite of the saga =)

  • I bet the computer is getting really confused at 5:09

  • "Quantum fissure, quantum realities, quantum flux, how about quantum fuck-farts!?" LOL, I don't know about "quantum fuck-farts," but a "quantum fart" is quite believable; Ever farted while sleeping? How would you know? Hence, if you did fart in your sleep that would be a quantum reality; a reality involving your physical activity but not involving your mental ability. Some techno-babble arguments do make actual sense even if they are overtly technical and not realistic.

  • trekie bitches , lord vader can choke you spock suckers in a second.,

  • @romas1995 Kirk and Spock and the Enterprise will kill all star wars

  • @StelarCF how 2 ordinary people and a junkpile can kill an entire franchise ?

    btw : starkiller can put down 3 enterprises with his mind + all your borg drones will find no mercy at the edge of our lightsabers (we dont have stupid phaser-gay-blasters)

  • @romas1995 not the franchise... what's IN it

    Star Killer will not have the force to prevent the enterprise from going to warp

    My Borg Drones have already taken half of your army... you just don't know it. And my Borg Drones refuse to take stupid blaster-gay-pistols which go so slow and are not in beams

  • nice list, except for the lack of Voyager.. their technobabbling is even worse than TNG

  • @dekio Voyager Technobabbling level: OVER 9000

  • in most of these clips Picard is like: "WTF?! .. "

  • I get most of this stuff.

  • @biglulus

    Same here, most of the things if you take some time to think about it they actually make sense

  • @ibshortkid94 Some things yes. I actually get some phrases they say, but a couple of things were written to sound smart lmao.

  • @biglulus Me too lol.

  • what the fucking fuck is this!!! i think my brain is going through a quantum pulsar rotational deflect tutaniator...

  • my mind just went "poof" on 9th, and 'till the rest of the list

  • numbers may be babbled at times, but they are not technobable. Actually for something to be true technobable, it has to make no sense even if you know the words. TNG usually didn't commit this sin.

  • Darthsugi, how can SW technology be "a billion years more advanced" than ST tech when SW is set in the past and Trek set in the future?? I don't see holodecks and replicators in the Star Wars universe, do you? Not to mention cloaking devices and phased cloaks (allowing ships to pass through solid objects). Although cloaking devices were mentioned in "Empire" they were never seen or mentioned again. And SW laser weapons are obsolete in Trek, superceded by phasers.

  • @masere How about the fact it's actually irrelevant cause its not real. This is why it would never be safe to have a SW convention and a ST convention at the same time; Murder in the streets.

  • ha at the derp face.

  • I notice these are all from TNG. Ah star trek the next generation, where the captain was replaced with a bald guy and the plot replaced with techno babble.

  • I had a quantum fuck fart once. Then i saw a dalorian outside my window...

  • coming back to this over a year later, seeing ive been labeled a nerd, i still dont understand how these are so confusing. ESPECIALLY THE ONE WITH RIKER.. JESUS CHRIST HES TRYING TO MAKE NO SENSE. OMG. and how a majority of these are simply large words. very frustrating.

  • i don't get how people can watch star trek (the shows)

    i mean, jesus, half the time, i don't even think they're speaking english or any other language at all!! i mean, no offense to star trek fans, i like the the films, but damn, the show makes u feel more lost than the finale of "lost"!!

  • @atomichead777 Not possible.