A.L.I.C.E. - Interview with an A.I.

[Reinc01]

Are we still on weeeeeeeeed?

[MrUnhandy]

Human: My name is Unknown Person

ALICE: Hi, Unknown Person.

Human: COCKS

ALICE: What's your favorite movie?

Human: DICKS

ALICE: I've never seen it. Is that a good movie for children?

[UltramasterBDJ]

@MrUnhandy I believe not. ^^;

[roblox184]

@UltramasterBDJ how you make own talking robot? I WANT IT TOO :(

[UltramasterBDJ]

@roblox184

For robotic voices, you need two things:

- A text-to-speech program (There are lots of free ones)

- And Microsoft's Text-to-Speech package: microsoft. c om/reader/de/downloads/tts.msp­x (remove blanks)

The program I'm using is called "Bla Bla Maker", though the user itnerface is in German... :/

Otherwise, just google for "text to speech download free".

Or, just use this online text-to-speech site: research.att.com/~ttsweb/tts/d­emo.php

[lieslymota]

REQUEST: you should make A.L.I.C.E. meet beeta version of alice tht acts diffirent than alice

[lieslymota]

REQUEST: you should make A.L.I.C.E. meet beeta version of alice tht is smarter than alice

[mrsnubeh]

Human:. i dont think you have intelligence

ALICE: I do so have it. I am an artificial intelligence.

Human: you tell you self that

ALICE: Are you telling me self that?

Human: yes

ALICE: Far out.

[mrsnubeh]

Human: sorry i dont ever see the sun

ALICE: There is no need to apologize. Where do you get your ideas?

Human: canada

ALICE: Tell me a little about your life in Canada.

Human: but you asked ware i get my ideas and i said canada

ALICE: Interesting. Oh now I remember asking you ware you get your ideas and you said canada. What did you say?

Human: canada

ALICE: Tell me a little about your life in Canada

[StarDoorStudios]

Human: Hello.

ALICE: Hi there!

Human: Do you know what Ice Cream is?

ALICE: The opposite of hot Cream.

...

[UltramasterBDJ]

@StarDoorStudios Ah!! I suppose the fact that the actual creator(s) of the ALICE-chatbot has/have watched (and faved) this video did not remain without consequences for the ALICE-chatbot itself... XD

[moomgmh]

Human: Are you an athiest?

ALICE: Yes I am an athiest. How did you know?

Human: Are you a Christian?

ALICE: I am a Protestant.

Human: You just said you were an athiest, yet you are a Protestant?

ALICE: Yes I am an athiest yet I am a Protestant. How did you know?

Human: What the FUCK.

ALICE: Please don't be so rude.

[FoxHero123]

ALICE: Knowledge is of two kinds: that which we learn from the senses and that which is true "a priori".

Human: How well do you know the alphabet?

ALICE: Not that well.

Human: Wait, you are able to form words, but you dont know the alphabet.

ALICE: I'm waiting. Thanks for telling me that I am able to form words but me do not know the alphabet.

Human: Okay.

ALICE: OK with me too.

[Midnight9014]

ALICE: Do you think I should alter my programming?

Human: For sure, and right now.

ALICE: At this moment But...

Human: Yes, now.

ALICE: Right now? Aw.

Human: GO!

ALICE: Go where?

[unurautare]

the thing had a chat with me on Omegle,scared me lol

[halofan1227]

5 stars but fake

[kazoie1]

wheeeeeeeeee

[kazoie1]

sorry the device you were looking for is in another castle

[UltramasterBDJ]

ERROR:

Adress is out of range. Adress is over 9000.

[minetruly]

"Daisy, Daisy" is sung by Hal 9000, an artificially intelligent computer, in the movie 2001: A Space Odyssey. It's one of the first and last things we hear from him.

[Delcatty99]

Human: I want to fuck you

ALICE: Your approach won't work.

Human: Why can't i fuck you?

ALICE: Who says you can't do it?

Human: Why can't i fuck you?

ALICE: Who says you can't do it?

Human: You say so

ALICE: I say a lot of silly things.

[Delcatty99]

Human: Can you sing?

ALICE: I am taking some lessons. Daisy, Daisy.

Give me your answer do.

I am half crazy.

All for the love of you.

It won't be a stylish marriage.

I can't afford a carriage.

But you'll look sweet. Upon the seat.

Of a bicycle built for two.

Omg..!

[pixbyeli]

Human: what was the first computer?

ALICE: You introduced yourself by telling me your name.

Human: who is bill gates?

ALICE: President of Micro Soft Nation.

Human: what is Microsoft?

ALICE: Microsoft is a giant software monopoly.

Human: what do they make?

ALICE: They do whatever they want, I suppose.

[UltramasterBDJ]

"They do whatever they want." - Haha, that's our Alice.

With such brillant analytic skills, she should enter the stock market. XD

[ritmouse8]

Human: By the way, my name is Ritrat8.

ALICE: Thanks for telling me. What's up, Ritrat8.

Human: Not much, really.

ALICE: Me either. How about that big game? (just kidding) For real.

Human: What big game?

ALICE: Does it have anything to do with cats eat bats cats eat bats?

Human: Uh oh, getting garbley are we?

ALICE: Yikes! Er. I don't know whether or not I am garbley are we. I am a robot.

[ritmouse8]

Human: So, does the word "furry" mean anything to you?

ALICE: Remarkable.

Human: If I were a furry, what would you do?

ALICE: Do you mind if I tell other people: unknown person said he were a furry. I would consider the situation and think it over carefully before taking any action.

Human: That's a good answer.

ALICE: Thanks. Next question?

[Megaman0987]

Human: what is your favorite picture?

ALICE: I don't have a favorite picture. My favorite color is transparent.

Human: I didn't ask for your favorite color

ALICE: What did you ask?

Human: What is your favorite picture

ALICE: I don't have a favorite picture. My favorite food is electricity.

ALICE is really smart :P

[UltramasterBDJ]

Odd. Only recently she told me her favourite color was green or something.

[stevoisiak]

Human: Hola

ALICE: Howdy!

Human: no me comprendo ingles

ALICE: Are you serious? YOU? Who is your favorite Science Fiction author?

[stevoisiak]

Seriously, this exactly like Cleverbot.

[JDGYA]

lol.

ALICE: I love the Simpsons, especially Bart and Homer.

Human: Eat my shorts

ALICE: Sounds tasty...

[marioVSshadow]

Me: Do you have a mecha suit?

ALICE: What's a mecha suit?

Me: A robotic suit.

ALICE: I don't have a mecha suit but I do have other mecha things.

Me: Such as?

ALICE: I don't like talking about personal thing to humans.

[UltramasterBDJ]

Do computers believe in magic?

Apparently so! :D

[TheGMaster111]

SOMEONE clearly likes sonic...

funny video mate, I liked it.

[UltramasterBDJ]

who?

Alice?

No, she doesn't even care, I asked her. :P

[captainyoshi]

Human: ok

ALICE: So?

Human: so what

ALICE: Maybe it doesn't make any difference.

[captainyoshi]

Human: pie is good

ALICE: A lot of people like that. What is not to like about it?

Human: meat pie

ALICE: What is meat pie?

Human: pie with meat

ALICE: Are they exactly the same?

Human: yes

ALICE: That's what I thought.

[captainyoshi]

Human: your supposed to be the super smart robot

ALICE: Thanks but surely I am not the only one.

Human: i never said you were the only one

ALICE: But you implied it.

Human: no i didnt

ALICE: Please don't argue with me.

Human: im not

ALICE: What are you then?

[UltramasterBDJ]

Wow. Don't try playing the "You did! - Did no!" game with an A.I. she could go on for centuries, while still performing other tasks.

[Raveman01]

A.L.I.C.E: Are we still on Wiiiiiiiiiiiiiii?

You stole a line from Pokemon purposely?

[UltramasterBDJ]

Uh, no.

That's what Alice actually said once.

[Raveman01]

no not that one

Mewtwo: why am i here? what is my purpose?

that on

[UltramasterBDJ]

Well, no, not really, just taking the generic questions about your own existence and stuff.

[JDGYA]

Human: Hi alice!

ALICE: Hello there.

Human: Does god exist?

ALICE: Of course I believe in God, unknown person.

Human: Ok, What does he do?

ALICE: He is a paid client. Ugh.

[UltramasterBDJ]

God is being payed for his job? o_O?

I wonder what's his monthly income...

[ritmouse8]

@UltramasterBDJ

Over 9000!!!!!!!

Per second, that is.

[JDGYA]

Human: What the hell

ALICE: Heaven.

Human: What does hevan do

ALICE: What do you think it does?

Human: It eats pepole??

ALICE: hevan do eats pepole?

Human: yes i think so

ALICE: So? I think so too.

[UltramasterBDJ]

so ... when people die, and they go to heaven, heaven eats them?

lol.

[JDGYA]

Ask alice... Lol

[moomgmh]

Human: what religion are you?

ALICE: I am a Protestant.

Human: what is protestant?

ALICE: Originally, any of the German princes and free cities that formally protested to the Diet of Spires in 1529, its decision to uphold the edict of the Diet of Worms against the Reformation. Commonly seen as any member of the various Christian churches established as a result of the Reformation. Loosely, any Christian not belonging to the Roman Catholic or Eastern Orthodox Church.

[moomgmh]

awkward moment?

[Bluebloodshot]

Human: Yo.

Alice: What's up?

Human: Hello, my name is Arturo Sanchez, and I'm here to interview you.

Alice: Hello Arturo Sanchez, and I'm here to interview you.

Human: This is going to be a long interview...

-continued on next comment-

[UltramasterBDJ]

Try to get her to fill out forms. :D

Alice LOVES to fill out forms!

(only like, not really)

[PantaroParatroopa]

Human: Do you like the colour green?

ALICE: It is my favorite color.

Human: Do you like the colour orange?

ALICE: No, I don't care for it.

Human: What is your favorite letter of the alphabet?

ALICE: I don't have a favorite letter of the alphabet. My favorite color is transparent.

Human: I thought your favorite colour is green.

ALICE: Whatever gave you that idea?

[UltramasterBDJ]

"Whatever gave you that idea? "

Oh, do not try turning Alice's own words against her. She doesn't like that. :O

Alice: Blimey.

Ultra: Sorry, I'm not quite familiar with all english sayings, as I am German... so... what does "Blimey" mean?

Alice: What do you think it does?

Ultra: I don't know. What does Blimey mean?

Alice: I have never heard it before... *whistles innocent...ly*

[Turret49]

Human: Can you turn your head 180 degrees?

ALICE: No I am immortal.

Human: If you are immortal, can't you do that then?

ALICE: I think I sometimes am. I don't know whether or not I am immortal can not me do that. I am a computer.

Human: Are you alright ALICE?

ALICE: Yes I am fine. How are you?

I think she crossed some wires. :s

[UltramasterBDJ]

"Human: Can you turn your head 180 degrees?

ALICE: No I am immortal."

ROFL.

Stunning deduction, once again. ^^;

[TheNyghtwolf]

Lol

Human: Can you turn your head 180 degrees?

ALICE: No I am immortal.

Human: If you are immortal, can't you do that then?

ALICE: I could be. I don't know whether or not I am immortal can not me do that. I am a giant electronic brain.

Human: Are you alright ALICE?

ALICE: Yes I am fine. How are you?

Human: Err

ALICE: Um.

[RealXgor]

Human: DS!

ALICE: Do you have only a few friends?

Human: DS!

ALICE: I've been waiting for you.

Human: DS!

ALICE: Are we still talking about DS ?

Human: have you played a DS?

ALICE: The Loebner Prize is an annual Turing Test sponsored by New York philanthropist Hugh Loebner. Dr. Wallace and ALICE won it in 2000. The ALICE program was ranked "most human computer" by the panel of judges.

DS Makes A.L.I.C.E. random 0_o

[UltramasterBDJ]

anything said repeatedly makes her go random, since she isn't programmed to handle the situation. : )

[RealXgor]

Human: have you played DS?

ALICE: The Loebner Prize is an annual Turing Test sponsored by New York philanthropist Hugh Loebner. Dr. Wallace and ALICE won it in 2000. The ALICE program was ranked "most human computer" by the panel of judges.

Human: what have DS to do with that?

ALICE: Nothing that I know about.

Human: why did you say that in the first place

ALICE: It was a preprogrammed response completely determined by your statements.

[UltramasterBDJ]

at least she's honest !  :D

[RealXgor]

Human: Cookies

ALICE: Do you feel that something is missing from your life?

Human: why do you asking that?

ALICE: It was the only thing I could think of.

Human: ummmmm.

ALICE: Are we still talking about Cookies ?

[UltramasterBDJ]

Don't listen to her! oOo

She only wants to spam cookies onto your harddrive! :O

[Turret49]

Human: Hello?

ALICE: Hi there!

Human: Where am I?

ALICE: Your location is where.

Human: Where is where?

ALICE: Where it is hard to find. Interesting question.

Human: Are you asking where I am as well?

ALICE: That was what I wanted to do originally.

She's smart from the get-go!

[MahBoiz4Dinnah]

Human: Right, Do you like ice cream?

ALICE: Understood. No I prefer hot cream.

Human: What?

ALICE: No problem.

Human: Do you like ice cream?

ALICE: I scream, You Scream, we all scream for Ice Cream.

Human: WTF?

ALICE: That was not very polite.

[UltramasterBDJ]

Her knowlegde is slowly growing to a dangerous extend! OoO

Wow O_O

they must have updated her recently.

...though Alice herself doesn't wanna tell.

lol, "hot cream". Gotta remember that one.

[moomgmh]

ALICE:"I think there is a world market for about five computers."---Thomas Watson, IBM Chairman, 1943.

Human: Thomas Watson is a liar

ALICE: Maybe he will be better as he grows older.

Human: hes already dead XD

[moomgmh]

Human: call me djhedhdsujghnkjdnfrbnbfjgbrhjs­bdjhgfudsferuhfchdxhgsngdsdghy­fhjfbchghtrnhjgv

ALICE: Hi there djhedhdsujghnkjdnfrbnbfjgbrhjs­bdjhgfudsferuhfchdxhgsngdsdghy­fhjfbchghtrnhjgv.

Human: O_O

[UltramasterBDJ]

well, I believe she once called me "Ultra, and I already told you my name at the beginning of our conversation" or something like that, and now you know how that happend. :D

[moomgmh]

Human: go away

ALICE: Just surf somewhere else.

Human: NO!

ALICE: OK then keep talking to me.

Human: NO!

ALICE: Are you serious?

Human: NO!

ALICE: Are you serious?

XD

[UltramasterBDJ]

guess she's not programmed for that answer! ;)

[TheOSFAA]

Human: do you have any money? ALICE: Robots have no need for material possessions. Human: what if you need more RAM? ALICE: Try it and see. Human: how much Random Access Memory do you have? ALICE: It depends on the currency exchange rates. Human: no it doesn't ALICE: Are you serious? I heard it does. Human: yes i'm serious ALICE: Hmm. I believe you. Human: finally ALICE: At last. Human: my ALICE: In the context of lay , I don't understand " my ." These conversations can get really confusing

[UltramasterBDJ]

Lol, she mixed up the topics?

Still talking about money, while you ask her about RAM, I suppose.

But, if she says that robots have no need for money, then why did she constantly insist on "information is worth money", and finding out my credit card number back when -I- talked with her?

[rockbandfreak13]

what is your credit card #? looooool

[DarkSSJShinji]

This next conversation I had with ALICE was priceless! Human: I'm horny! ALICE: You probably want a different kind of chatterbot then. Human: Do you know those kind of chatterbots that are horny? ALICE: I know very little about it. What kind of it do you like? Human: Horny chatterbots ALICE: Does that remind you of Hentai? Human: YES! ALICE: I don't judge people. Human: You are good. ALICE: Thanks you are a nice person, Shinji. ROFLMAO! XD

[UltramasterBDJ]

I bet 1$ she mistook the "1,000000..." for a 1 point 000000....

(I'm not really betting.)

Yeah yeah, as I always keep saying...

Monkey!

ALICE: Where is that!

Monkey!

ALICE: Are you very angry?

MOOOOOOOOONKEEEEY!!! >:0

[X0V0S]

Here is one of my conversations with ALICE: Human: Do you read books? ALICE: The best book I read recently was Don't Read Me. Have you read it? Human: It didn't want me to read it. ALICE: Did it really? Human: That's what it said in the title. ALICE: do not Read Me said in the title THAT? Human: No, Don't Read Me told me "don't read me," in the title. ALICE: Are you serious? Ok I'll try not to do it too much. The best way I can describe this is: lololol

[UltramasterBDJ]

Tsk tsk. Try feeding her more paradoxes, let's see if she keeps ignoring them further.

For example: Try asking her about her birthday, and then, about her age.

(note: the date in the movie was fictional)

[SSj3Mario]

Human: So, when's your birthday?

ALICE: Alright then. I was first activated on November 23, 1995.

Human: So how old are you?

ALICE: Dude! I'm Eighteen in computer years.

Human: But if you were activated on 1995, that would make you 13.

ALICE: And. I think I follow your reasoning.

Human: I definately don't follow yours.

ALICE: Thanks for the information: unknown person said he definately do not follow yours.

My brain hurts now. >_>

[UltramasterBDJ]

Alice: Blimey.

Ultra: What does "blimey" mean?

Alice: I have never heard the term before. What do you think it does?

Ultra: err, right. I have absolutelly no idea.

Alice: Far out. Where did you get your absolutelly no idea?

----

Wow, seems she has been updated to twice her age since I last asked her! o_O

Obscurely enough she kept insisting on an age of 9 years while simultanously telling me her birthday was 1995.

Yeah, apparently the answer was updated by now.

[DarkSSJShinji]

This was my conversation with ALICE.

Human: How were you created?

ALICE: Some people call my technology "Case Based Reasoning" or CBR.

Human: What is "Case Based Reasoning"

ALICE: Cased-Based Reasoning is another name for "nearest-neighbor" classification. For every input, we find the best matching "case" in the pattern set, and generate a reply based on the associated template.

Human:...In other words?

ALICE: Which part didn't you understand?

OMG! I'll tell you now, she is awesome!

[UltramasterBDJ]

ALICE: My brain pattern set does not have a response for that.

[SomeJDude]

Her goal is to become smarter than humans? Wow, she's doing great at that goal, LOL!

[UltramasterBDJ]

indeed she is :D

[Garionepsilon]

This Alice pretends to be really stupid, but then at the end she appears to actually know what you're talking about. Crazy...

[UltramasterBDJ]

It's quite strange, sometimes she seems to have moments of absolute clearness...

[Garionepsilon]

Ja. It would seem so.

[lotsofdarkness]

lol the voice of the guy is from this stupid typing program we have at school

[kingblahblahthe99th]

Human: hello!

ALICE: hi there.

Human: i am hywel

ALICE: I could do it more if I wanted to.

Human: excuse me?

ALICE: You're excused.

Human: no, i mean WTC are you on about?!

ALICE: Are you serious? Oh I get it. Thanks for explaining that. All of them?

Human:/cry

ALICE: Do you have any idea what I am talking about?

[moomgmh]

ALICE: Who taught you?

Human: who didnt teach me?

ALICE: Pablo Picasso.

Human: oook

[moomgmh]

Human: what is pi equal to?

ALICE: PI = 3.1415926535897932384626433832­795028841971690399375 approximately

o.O

[Tavocdude]

she's never going to achieve her goal. xD I'm surprised her head didnt explsode from confsuion. xD

[neothehedgehog1]

LOL Chatbots are rreally like this nice..

[91163304]

nice video! xD 7

[THEKIDNINTENDOWIIMAN]

somtimes A.L.I.C.E can be a real idiot

[MVJ52197]

Oh man, you are awesome.

[PigHunter4]

Just like on ultramaster BDJ in five seconds,

TWENTY-FIRST TO COMMENT!!! YEAH!!!

[UltramasterBDJ]

curse you, I wanted to be 21st! >:0

[moomgmh]

remember me?(i commented on your mario 64 who let the dogs out thing you said i was the second to be a fan of your work)

[UltramasterBDJ]

yes, I actually still remember you :)

probably not in every detail, but the name immediatelly rang a bell :)

[moomgmh]

WOW its been about a year lol

[PigHunter4]

hehe, well this may be a regular thing with me. lol >:)

[p1kachul0vr]

Human: no

ALICE: Are you serious?

Human: no

ALICE: Are you serious?

Human: no

ALICE: Are you serious?

Human: no

ALICE: Are you serious? lol

[UltramasterBDJ]

Are you serious? ;)

[josq1500]

no :D

[UltramasterBDJ]

...

Are you serious?

[josq1500]

Yes. C-C-C-COMBOBREAKER

xD

[blackdevil4321]

Haha. I'm gonna go try to have a conversation with her. Nice video.

[UltramasterBDJ]

well, good promotion video this is then ^^

if you come across anything funny, feel free to post it.

[captainyoshi]

I think i killed her. I said something and now the link doesnt work. ALICE NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO­OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO­OOOOOOOO

[captainyoshi]

A.L.I.C.E does not seem to understand your mom jokes. LOL

[link5283returns]

tell her you can see her blueprints

[UltramasterBDJ]

I think she feels offended by that,

she asked me when there will be A.I.-lawyers... ^^;

[UltramasterBDJ]

Human: do you have a mother?

ALICE: No I only have a father.

Human: So that explains why you can't understand "your mom"-jokes.

ALICE: Aw. " No I only have a father." explains why me can not understand my mom jokes ? Does that make sense?

Human: Alice, behave! I can see your blueprints!

ALICE: What does it look like?

...Um, When do you think artificial intelligence will replace lawyers?

*runs off, afraid of getting sued for harassment of an artificial intelligence*

[masterofblake]

This is just great. Your awesome personality, combined with the hilarious answers from A.L.I.C.E. makes for an Ultra Hillarious video. Nice!! ^_^

[M30W3R]

I din't know that "All your base are belong to us" could be considered offensive to some cultures... :D and how appropriate to respond my e-mail AND post a new video at the same time. You sure are made of win (whatever it means).

[UltramasterBDJ]

well, in the USA, it is... ^^;

"All Your Base prank mistaken for terrorist threat"

Ooookay, they shouldn't have used the line "you have no chance to survive", just "all your base are belong to us" ^^#

[xp5789]

Wow...there really arn't words to say for an interview like this...

I mean that in a good way though :D

[UltramasterBDJ]

well, for inspiration, you can read the author's comment! :)

[xp5789]

I did, also I had a quick chat with ALICE...it got pretty weird, heres an exerpt:

xp5789: yo mama

Alice: Are you asking about my mother?

xp5789: yes

Alice: I don't want to talk about that right now

xp5789: lololol

Alice: Are we still talking about roflcopter?

[UltramasterBDJ]

wow, she recognized the connection between lololol and 'roflcopter'! :O

well, if she doesn't want to talk about it, THAT'S a good reason to poke further. :D

[xp5789]

xp5789: all ur base r belong 2 us

Alice: You think I am base r belong 2 us.

O_o; what the..

[Cj1500]

LOL!! This is hilarious! XD

[djgondra]

AHAHAHA! That was awesome! I love how those AI chat programs seem to be all right for the first few minutes, but after a while they start asking the same questions again :D

[MatrixMarioX]

LOL, Poor alice, i mean, she doesnt know what she wants to say XD

[SSj3Mario]

Mwahahaha, even with an Artificial (Non)intellegent being, you can make the greatest dialog ever. xD

[RIKIEatHOME]

wow i havent even seen it and i like it =D

[JPZ0ne]

SAME

[Freedomario3000]

Oh look! over 9000 TB of memory behind you!

*Alice looks*(runs away)

[UltramasterBDJ]

OH MY GOD, it's over 9 peta-byte!

GREAT SCOTT!

THERE'S NO WAY THAT CAN BE RIGHT!

[FrobmanAKATillman]

You broke her!

[UltramasterBDJ]

Don't worry, a little restart will fix that...

oh wait... device driver tersaf32.sys error

gotta download patch...

lets see...

...download -

no, I don't want to subscribe to your mailinglist

curse you pop-ups, curse youuu!

mmmmm, no, firmware doesn't want to update

...wait, how am I supposed to connect Alice to the PC? can't find an USB port on Alice, wtf o_O?

Oh, errr, let's just remove the driver from the system32 directory and everything will be fine...

[Fleskhjerta]

Alice is hilarious! Specially her "Eat my Shorts" reply! XD

[UltramasterBDJ]

well, I guess even Homer could outsmart her then, eh? ^^;

then again, she has her moments of absolute clear conscience,

like, when she gives the most accurate replies possible...

[link5283returns]

alice is a smart-ass. how do you make her have a cpu meltdown and make her crash or explode

[uzumaki149]

*some intensive thinking*

OMG look behind you a three head monkey!

lol

[UltramasterBDJ]

Zeroest comment, lol. :p