What if they never get angry? My boyfriend was Mr. Wonderful in the beginning, but soon started teasing me relentlessly and ignoring me when I told him to stop. He makes fun of me constantly, even after we have been intimate, he will say crude things about my body or the way I look, smell, etc. When I cry or get angry, he tells me: Why do you do this to yourself? The crazy thing is, he never gets upset. Never raises his voice. He is always calm and funny and collected. Everyone loves him.
Hey! Not all abusers are men! I fear that I am being emotionally abused by my girlfriend who I love very much =( However, I'm not sure =( I would appreciate some help, thank you.
re: the above, call the police, etc: one huge problem about emotional abuse is that while it is now accepted knowledge that is as or probably more damaging than physical abuse; it is not acknowledged by law enforcement/the legal system. Without any physical abuse (USA "the system" will not help you. I don't know where the answer lies, I believe it is a "crime" to humiliate, control, take advantage of . another person to the point of killing their spirit, but it is perfectly legal.
When you read the part about emotional abusers being "Attractive" you need to remember the way they acted when you first met them. Not necessarily attractive in the "looks" department, but these people can be VERY charming. Like a spider weaving a web, it looks beautiful wit the snow glistening on it, but you dont realize its there for them to catch you and then destroy you. Their "Charm" usually disappears after you have been with them for about 3 months because they cant keep up the disguise.
I have been with an emotionally abusive Bitch for 3 years, she is a fucking nutter and I wish the whole world will find out what a piece of shit she is and I will be happy when she is gone.
I was a victim of emotional abuse and the best thing I did was to leave, hard as it might seem, you need to gain your courage and do so.
negative energy is only around if it serves you. Ask the underlining question to yourself why you crossed paths with these individuals in the first place. I have found that most people who get attracted to these kinds are co-dependent types.
Find your inner light again and let your heart sing.
No, I've been sexually, mentally & physically abused by men (& women) when i was young who I would not call at all attractive. Also, only a couple of them drank & smoked - the others were what people call "clean" or "straight" even though they were anything but that. Please don't generalise. Apart from that, your video was fairly accurate although filled with spelling errors.
omg my dad is exactly like that! :( i never accepted i was being verbally abused but i am. its like im trapped inside a box and no one can hear me D:
everytime my dad freaks out on me the little voice in my head telling me to stand up for myself is fading... soon it will be gone and i will give up !
i need help. i wont give up buts its so hard. everyday i force myself to keep going. i will never give in but i need a hand D:
I take issue with the point that abusers are smokers/drinkers/drug addicts. I am a victim of severe abuse and alienation; to deal with my anxiety I smoke. However, being a victim makes me painfully aware of everyone's feelings, and I couldnt hurt a ladybug. I would be devastated if any action on my part damaged another being. Let us not further divide ourselves as a result of the healing process. Some people are bad & they smoke, & some people just smoke.
@TSMYF1 you have not met all three of my very attractive, very abusive ex's. They have that card that they LOVE to throw around, their good looks card.
Very accurate information. Abusers have inflated egos, therefore, they never see their faults, but they do see see them and are proud of them. They are manipulative, horribly negative towards themselves, they're obsessive in a negative manner; drugs, alcohol, lust, etc...But not all abusers smoke, do drugs, nor came from broken families. I have seen abusers come that have very loving families. So, you never know
I want to heal and get better but I can't even start doing that until I am away from this man how do I break away? he will never leave I really am stuck in my own mental prison
@sanjose528 If you want to leave him then just do it. Talk to family and friends and get all the protection you need. You have to start protecting yourself in all necessary measures befor you tell him about your decision.
@sanjose528 I was in a horrible relationship for 4 years before I finally left. I'm not gonna lie, leaving was one of the hardest things I ever did. I cried and cried for weeks. BUT I did get through it. There is light and hope at the end. When I saw him again after several weeks, I found I was completely done with him and the abuse. You can get out, you do have the strength inside.
@sanjose528 I was in a horrible relationship for 4 years before I finally left. I'm not gonna lie, leaving was one of the hardest things I ever did. I cried and cried for weeks. BUT I did get through it. There is light and hope at the end. When I saw him again after several weeks, I found I was completely done with him and the abuse. You can get out, you do have the strength inside.
@sanjose528 I was in a horrible relationship for 4 years before I finally left. I'm not gonna lie, leaving was one of the hardest things I ever did. I cried and cried for weeks. BUT I did get through it. There is light and hope at the end. When I saw him again after several weeks, I found I was completely done with him and the abuse. You can get out, you do have the strength inside.
@sanjose528 I was in a horrible relationship for 4 years before I finally left. I'm not gonna lie, leaving was one of the hardest things I ever did. I cried and cried for weeks. BUT I did get through it. There is light and hope at the end. When I saw him again after several weeks, I found I was completely done with him and the abuse. You can get out, you do have the strength inside.
@sanjose528 I was in a horrible relationship for 4 years before I finally left. I'm not gonna lie, leaving was one of the hardest things I ever did. I cried and cried for weeks. BUT I did get through it. There is light and hope at the end. When I saw him again after several weeks, I found I was completely done with him and the abuse. You can get out, you do have the strength inside.
@sanjose528 I ran to the Emergency @ my local hospital. I told the doctor on duty I would rather walk the streets then go home.
They called the Domestic Violence people, I was interviewed and spent 3 months in their protection. Still...I would not have been accepted on emotional abuse alone, but (thankfully) he had become physically violent, so I was accepted. Fight for your rights to be accepted as an abused person...look for ANY physical stuff at all, and tell your story.
@sanjose528 I ran to the Emergency @ my local hospital. I told the doctor on duty I would rather walk the streets than go home.
They called the Domestic Violence people, I was interviewed and spent 3 months in their protection. Still...I would not have been accepted on emotional abuse alone, but (thankfully) he had become physically violent, so I was accepted. Fight for your rights to be accepted as an abused person...look for ANY physical stuff at all, and tell your story.
@sanjose528 i want to let you know something. this person will never change therefore you are solely responsible for your own happiness do you understand that? what does that mean you might have to do things you think you cant do such as moving on.
@sanjose528 Knowing yourself that it's time to go is a huge step so well done. Confide in family, friends and if needs be a support group with people who have experienced the same as yourself. You can make this break because you are strong enough and I wish you the very best of luck.
@greenman92553 Get a journal and document and date everything she does. Tell other people as well, it is important that there are others that can help to verify what is going on. Most importantly you need to seek legal advice and talk to any other professional people you can in order to find out all of your options. Councellors, mediators etc.
@greenman92553 My grandfather lived in the shed on three different properties for the entire time I knew him until he died. My grandmother had a toxic mouth.
My own Brother In-Law fits the bill here. He always finds fault in what I do. He rallies with my sister's support to undervalue my knowledge and networks of places and peoples I know. I have forgiven both of them, but it still leaves me hurt inside. In fact, my sister has blocked me from Facebook due to this. I am returning home soon where I will have to face him up. If you have any advice, how can I cope with him around? U can email me in detail at penpony828@yahoo.co.uk
He sounds like a shamer to me - he will deliberately disagree, set you up, dismiss your comments, undervalue your knowledge as you say, to belittle you & make you look & feel stupid in front of people so that he can look superior & feel better. I find this is acceptable behaviour in the UK but it should not be. He obvioulsy feels weak or 'emotionally inadequate' inside & this is why he does it. Pointing this out to him in public is one step to take. It worked for me before :o)
you are describing my only brother. this is so him. its hard to stop seeing your brother. you are the one who ends up hurting your old parents and messing with the family. not him...you. he is killing me inside...
My ex was Buddhist, and works in charity and he used to take things out on me. I recommend Patricia's Evans books on abusive relationships, at least it is easier to spot them.
It's like reading my father's bio. I have been setting firm boundaries, and not letting the abuse continue. While the trauma and scars still remain, I am heading in the right direction towards a healing and positive life.
i am like :O you described my dad :O and i was like :O coz yeah, he had a life changing crisis at the age of 6, which was getting tb, and learning to walk and talk again after being in quarantine, and he was from a divorced home :/ the whole lot is him to a tee :/ i am like yeah, the bleeping bleep :/ he foisted all his insecurities on to me, via psychological abuse :/ he was physically violent too :/ for yonks i have felt guilty about having nothin to do with him.but recently i feel no guilt.
If I may add another, he only speaks when he wants something. No idle chatter. No discussing the weather - nothing. He would only talk to me when he wanted sex, a favor, for me to drive to the store for him, wanted to know if I knew where an item was, etc. He never talked to me unless he wanted something from me.
BTW, his mother left him at age 1 and didn't return until he was in high school. She abandoned him, and from what Im told he cried for his mom for years at night. She wasn't a junkie, only hooked on men.
Constantly testing nerves, I think, means doing the exact opposite of what you say/ask/do. Yes = no. Up = down. Right = left. Right = wrong. Black is white. And white is blue. I am in this type of relationship, I gained 100+ pounds, now Ive lost 50, became extremely depressed borderline suicidal, and nearly lost my mind because the abuse was so subliminal. Until, I woke up .. I am now plotting my escape. I am jobless now, and I have $10 to my name. Me & my kids gotta get out ...
My current significant other has all these characteristics, except one. He's never been able to convince me that I "need" him.
Of course, his "early age trauma" was a horrific car accident that left him with a quarter of his prefrontal cortex irreparably damaged, so there's probably more sparking his behavior than just plain abusiveness.
My dad is an alcoholic narcissist and this decribes him perfectly. I hate his guts because he hurts my mum so much. So much it hurts me to see her that way.
I have people like this in my life....and they profess thereselves as christians...now matter how long ive worked for them and my skills and knowledge of the trade...they dont let me move up the ladder...new people come in with no skills and get to do what i should be doing
As a survivor of emotional abuse, I am not sure what being a nurse has to do with anything, I am a professional person and I do use compassion and understanding in my job. If u r a nurse I feel sorry for your patients. But most of all I feel sorry for you and your nasty attitudr
tomlambssays You are clearly not a well educated person with a lack of compassion. I forgive you because I would not want to wake up and be you every day
You need to get a bus ticket to the other side of the US and start a life. You can do it. Just start out in a women's shelter where you will get all kinds of help. Or, you can save your money, roommate, go to college, live on campus and get a career. Remember, move to the other side of the US. You need a life of your own. GO>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
@Washie321 It doesn't just happen over night, it's a process. But first you disconnect from your feelings by simply not thinking. Try not having a single thought. Then imagine every negative feeling that you have being crushed and swallowed and killed from within. Dissociate from reality and block out anything or anyone that causes you discomfort. It takes practice but for me it has been a great coping mechanism.
I was married to this man for a long time. Its a long way back from this kind of abuse. Every aspect of my life, my physical self ,my cooking (and the list goes on) was critisized. The emotional scars are devastating. I am no longer with him and I am still struggling to get my self respect back,
@9lorac The cleverer you get at spotting abusers the cleverer they get at hiding their true personalities. Born psychopaths are especially good at this. They can be like sleepers and are very patient. Then when they are feeling 'safe' in the relationship their false persona drops.
I wasn't born yesterday so thought I knew all about the red flags from experience but there were more that I didn't know about and the ways and means psychopaths have at their disposal are still being invented.
This video is an exact definition of my father when he get's angry. Then he just pretends everything is all good and treats me like nothing ever happened. If any of you are going through the same thing I'm sorry. You don't deserve this and I feel your pain.
@TheEmotionalAbuse: Thank you and I agree. I am doing this in the most calming calculated way because I have to plan how and where to go, have no one to help me at this point and need to be self-sufficient, I already have two job offers and it is only a matter of time before I meave and become independent very soon. Thanks again ;)
@TheEmotionalAbuse I have people like this in my life....and they profess thereselves as christians...no matter how long ive worked for them and my skills and knowledge of the trade...they dont let me move up the ladder...new people come in with no skills and get to do what i should be doing...i get called names...there disrespectful towards my property....there wierd....and they have the nerve to ask me to go to church with them
Great vid but I don't agree with one point. You state that abusers are all smokers/drinkers/druggies ect. This is not true. Many are church going high standing members of society that wear a mask in public but are very abusive in private.
@walkaboutwithme You got that right! The phony religious hypocrite that uses the wifely submission line to justify his abuse. Isn't it funny how all of these types of men neglect to understand that they are to love their wives as Christ loved the church? They just use what suits them and their purposes. Totally selfish and evil heartless people.
All you abusive men out there man up and get a grip. Women respond to love and not abuse. If you had any sense you would love your wives.
I've been in this situation many a time as I used to go to church but had to stop because of the emotional abuse & I was treading on egg shells nearly all the time. I was patronised so goodness know how I would have been treated had I been more myself. I didn't talk much about myself otherwise I'd be met with disapproval, criticism or envy but they wanted me to talk about my problems. I'm British but the support I was getting was mostly from American websites & books.
To continue I had to relate the support and information to my culture. Brits tend not to want to talk about religion either in a positive way or a negative way so I had few people to confide in. Most can't be bothered with religion but think that Christianity should be remain in Britain as the foremost religion on an institutional level but not personal as the rituals are woven into the fabric of our society.
These abusive Christians may or may not be smokers/drinkers/drug takers.
@walkaboutwithme I had an abusive bf that went to church and had a chauvenistic side to him. He felt he was God's gift to women and that he was holding out for the "perfect" one. He made me feel like I was never "good enough"
Essentially, the act of trying to "make things work" with someone who carries these dastardly traits is another form of control itself. My recommendation regarding emotional abusers is to simply get away from them. Completely. Victimization over. Your self-esteem is yours to protect, embrace and nurture. It doesn't come by way of what another says about you. It comes from what you think of the person in the mirror staring back at you. Remaining the victim is a choice.
wow everything in this is true i picked out a ton of stuff that he does to me and how he makes me feel, especially the one where he never blames himself and always makes me look like the bad guy. neglects my feelings and needs yeah all that. however i don't have any money and nowhere to go but im working on saving up n about a week or 2 i should be out and i'll ignore him until i move out
@TheEmotionalAbuse i finally left the guy i was with a year ago. he emotionally abused me for 3 years. i finally got the courage to move out and i went to live with my friend who is now my boyfriend. he saved my life bc i was at the point in thinking about committing suicide bc that's how bad my ex hurt me. he helped me fix my broken heart and my broken spirit and now i know that life is worth living.
@midz500 Sometimes abusers bring out the worst in you. They get to know your weaknesses so they can press your buttons so you end up looking like the abuser. It happened to me.
@reseymg it's time to stop apologizing really you would get to a sertin point where it is ridiculous to even blame yourself, dont you think so? you have to deside eather you stay or you leave. if I were you I would leave and the sooner the better. don't stay untill you can't stand yourself anymore. take care.
Abusers also make you want to seek their approval. I know. I am trying to get out of an emotionally abusive relationship right now. It is very hard. He has tried to kill my self esteem.
@thinkofabettername True but it helps if they are physically attractive which is why so many of them spend lots of money on improving their looks. Otherwise they don't bother at all and let themselves go.
My mother is an emotional abuser. She calls me names, insults me, tries to pick fights, takes it out on me if she has a bad day, etc. I was very glad the day I moved out, and now I see her as little as possible.
What's worse is my grandmother constantly makes excuses for her behavior. Well there are no excuses no matter what anyone says!
Charming and attractive partner is the choice of current young ones.
The first thing they see to start a relationship is based on looks, not the humanity.
The attractive ones also know the fact that if one partner will leave them they will get the other one easily again .
This makes them careless about the current partner while the partner is the one who is supposed to care for them and is supposed to feel thankful for them to allow them to live with them.
Every single point in this video is spot on... if you ever meet a women like this run for your life they destroy your self esteem and it is very very hard to recover from i'm still working on it
@davaflava323 I agree. These women will at first be very charming and flaunt their sexuality. Underneath it all though they are very insecure and undermine a persons self esteem.
Natalie Portman is kind of like this; she has narcissistic personality disorder, in addition to passive agressive personality disorder, she really enjoys hurting powerless people, and employing men with a criminal background, just real scum, as her bodyguards.
wow this video doesn't explain ANY theory why any of these "attributes" are emotional abusers and are very broad, this is one the silliest psychology videos I've even seen.
hi redey this is not a psychology video it is a result of researchs done in many websites and it's points of view from my personal experience, if you don't think it's true thats ur point of view however I had the experience and agree with each point in the video & so does the people who were abused. you can have a look at thier comments below. and thank you for expressing your ideas.
What if they never get angry? My boyfriend was Mr. Wonderful in the beginning, but soon started teasing me relentlessly and ignoring me when I told him to stop. He makes fun of me constantly, even after we have been intimate, he will say crude things about my body or the way I look, smell, etc. When I cry or get angry, he tells me: Why do you do this to yourself? The crazy thing is, he never gets upset. Never raises his voice. He is always calm and funny and collected. Everyone loves him.
mlbf2327 25 minutes ago
Hey! Not all abusers are men! I fear that I am being emotionally abused by my girlfriend who I love very much =( However, I'm not sure =( I would appreciate some help, thank you.
Lkenmaner 3 days ago
re: the above, call the police, etc: one huge problem about emotional abuse is that while it is now accepted knowledge that is as or probably more damaging than physical abuse; it is not acknowledged by law enforcement/the legal system. Without any physical abuse (USA "the system" will not help you. I don't know where the answer lies, I believe it is a "crime" to humiliate, control, take advantage of . another person to the point of killing their spirit, but it is perfectly legal.
ellenheyer 6 days ago
some of this is useful, but not everyone who's attractive, comes from a broken home and had a childhood trauma is an emotional abuser!
The other stuff speaks for itself, but all this pseudo-science can be dangerous in real life scenarios.
TRUST YOUR INSTINCTS and be aware of their BEHAVIOUR!
MsEddy5 2 weeks ago
What if the emotional abuser is a family member and you can't get away?
m1ssychr1ssy09 3 weeks ago in playlist More videos from TheEmotionalAbuse
Emotional abusers are manipulators that shit in your soul. No point talking about it. Action speaks louder than words.
GrumpSkull 4 weeks ago
When you read the part about emotional abusers being "Attractive" you need to remember the way they acted when you first met them. Not necessarily attractive in the "looks" department, but these people can be VERY charming. Like a spider weaving a web, it looks beautiful wit the snow glistening on it, but you dont realize its there for them to catch you and then destroy you. Their "Charm" usually disappears after you have been with them for about 3 months because they cant keep up the disguise.
claudiamthompson 1 month ago 3
omg, thats my mother
every carachteristic fits
what should I do?
MouraVianna 1 month ago
SO TRUE, THANK U FOR THIS VID!! :-D
Mwink1975 2 months ago
I have been with an emotionally abusive Bitch for 3 years, she is a fucking nutter and I wish the whole world will find out what a piece of shit she is and I will be happy when she is gone.
bigGaza1 2 months ago
I was a victim of emotional abuse and the best thing I did was to leave, hard as it might seem, you need to gain your courage and do so.
negative energy is only around if it serves you. Ask the underlining question to yourself why you crossed paths with these individuals in the first place. I have found that most people who get attracted to these kinds are co-dependent types.
Find your inner light again and let your heart sing.
Bless you all.
earthrooster1717 2 months ago
This has been flagged as spam show
Help stop violence against women, if a thirteen year old can get it then why cant we?
/watch?v=vM8wOK9zvdA
Mynameisboxy 3 months ago
Min. 1:20 Says "Makes your fell..." although the girl falls.. I believe it should read "Makes your feel".
KrisOfCourse83 3 months ago
No, I've been sexually, mentally & physically abused by men (& women) when i was young who I would not call at all attractive. Also, only a couple of them drank & smoked - the others were what people call "clean" or "straight" even though they were anything but that. Please don't generalise. Apart from that, your video was fairly accurate although filled with spelling errors.
darkallegiance666 3 months ago
omg my dad is exactly like that! :( i never accepted i was being verbally abused but i am. its like im trapped inside a box and no one can hear me D:
everytime my dad freaks out on me the little voice in my head telling me to stand up for myself is fading... soon it will be gone and i will give up !
i need help. i wont give up buts its so hard. everyday i force myself to keep going. i will never give in but i need a hand D:
MultiHappyBubbles 3 months ago
@MultiHappyBubbles That's so me too! But it was mother (doesn't deserve "mum") who was like that.
hippiegirl1968 1 month ago
@hippiegirl1968 D: it must be horrible not having a proper mum to hug you and that :(
my dad scares me alot more than my mum ever could D: has your mum stopped?
MultiHappyBubbles 1 month ago
I take issue with the point that abusers are smokers/drinkers/drug addicts. I am a victim of severe abuse and alienation; to deal with my anxiety I smoke. However, being a victim makes me painfully aware of everyone's feelings, and I couldnt hurt a ladybug. I would be devastated if any action on my part damaged another being. Let us not further divide ourselves as a result of the healing process. Some people are bad & they smoke, & some people just smoke.
ThursdayChild420 3 months ago
The first one is "attractive"?! That is freakin hilarious!!!! I've never met an attractive, "good looking" abuser in my life.
TSMYF1 4 months ago
@TSMYF1 you have not met all three of my very attractive, very abusive ex's. They have that card that they LOVE to throw around, their good looks card.
angrybear86 3 months ago
I don't mean to be abusive, but can you please help me respect your videos by making them a little more intelligent?
jeff101962 4 months ago
One word of advice: spellcheck.
zacthebold 4 months ago
Very accurate information. Abusers have inflated egos, therefore, they never see their faults, but they do see see them and are proud of them. They are manipulative, horribly negative towards themselves, they're obsessive in a negative manner; drugs, alcohol, lust, etc...But not all abusers smoke, do drugs, nor came from broken families. I have seen abusers come that have very loving families. So, you never know
Scorpiusgrl 4 months ago
sounds like a few women i knew that were abusive, thank god i had enough sense to kick the to the curb.
getalife67 4 months ago
I want to heal and get better but I can't even start doing that until I am away from this man how do I break away? he will never leave I really am stuck in my own mental prison
sanjose528 6 months ago
@sanjose528 If you want to leave him then just do it. Talk to family and friends and get all the protection you need. You have to start protecting yourself in all necessary measures befor you tell him about your decision.
TheEmotionalAbuse 6 months ago 2
@sanjose528 I was in a horrible relationship for 4 years before I finally left. I'm not gonna lie, leaving was one of the hardest things I ever did. I cried and cried for weeks. BUT I did get through it. There is light and hope at the end. When I saw him again after several weeks, I found I was completely done with him and the abuse. You can get out, you do have the strength inside.
starwarsgirl1977 5 months ago
@sanjose528 I was in a horrible relationship for 4 years before I finally left. I'm not gonna lie, leaving was one of the hardest things I ever did. I cried and cried for weeks. BUT I did get through it. There is light and hope at the end. When I saw him again after several weeks, I found I was completely done with him and the abuse. You can get out, you do have the strength inside.
starwarsgirl1977 5 months ago
This has been flagged as spam show
@sanjose528 I was in a horrible relationship for 4 years before I finally left. I'm not gonna lie, leaving was one of the hardest things I ever did. I cried and cried for weeks. BUT I did get through it. There is light and hope at the end. When I saw him again after several weeks, I found I was completely done with him and the abuse. You can get out, you do have the strength inside.
starwarsgirl1977 5 months ago
This has been flagged as spam show
@sanjose528 I was in a horrible relationship for 4 years before I finally left. I'm not gonna lie, leaving was one of the hardest things I ever did. I cried and cried for weeks. BUT I did get through it. There is light and hope at the end. When I saw him again after several weeks, I found I was completely done with him and the abuse. You can get out, you do have the strength inside.
starwarsgirl1977 5 months ago
This has been flagged as spam show
@sanjose528 I was in a horrible relationship for 4 years before I finally left. I'm not gonna lie, leaving was one of the hardest things I ever did. I cried and cried for weeks. BUT I did get through it. There is light and hope at the end. When I saw him again after several weeks, I found I was completely done with him and the abuse. You can get out, you do have the strength inside.
starwarsgirl1977 5 months ago
@sanjose528 I ran to the Emergency @ my local hospital. I told the doctor on duty I would rather walk the streets then go home.
They called the Domestic Violence people, I was interviewed and spent 3 months in their protection. Still...I would not have been accepted on emotional abuse alone, but (thankfully) he had become physically violent, so I was accepted. Fight for your rights to be accepted as an abused person...look for ANY physical stuff at all, and tell your story.
I am now free...d
aussiechickdiana 5 months ago
@sanjose528 I ran to the Emergency @ my local hospital. I told the doctor on duty I would rather walk the streets than go home.
They called the Domestic Violence people, I was interviewed and spent 3 months in their protection. Still...I would not have been accepted on emotional abuse alone, but (thankfully) he had become physically violent, so I was accepted. Fight for your rights to be accepted as an abused person...look for ANY physical stuff at all, and tell your story.
I am now free...d
aussiechickdiana 5 months ago
This has been flagged as spam show
@sanjose528 i want to let you know something. this person will never change therefore you are solely responsible for your own happiness do you understand that? what does that mean you might have to do things you think you cant do such as moving on.
TheBohemiansoul 2 months ago
@sanjose528 Knowing yourself that it's time to go is a huge step so well done. Confide in family, friends and if needs be a support group with people who have experienced the same as yourself. You can make this break because you are strong enough and I wish you the very best of luck.
iamthegame09 2 months ago
@sanjose528
How do you get away when you are a man and the law can ruin you financially for leaving?
greenman92553 2 months ago
@greenman92553 Get a journal and document and date everything she does. Tell other people as well, it is important that there are others that can help to verify what is going on. Most importantly you need to seek legal advice and talk to any other professional people you can in order to find out all of your options. Councellors, mediators etc.
azulceleste666 1 month ago
@greenman92553 My grandfather lived in the shed on three different properties for the entire time I knew him until he died. My grandmother had a toxic mouth.
GrumpSkull 4 weeks ago
My own Brother In-Law fits the bill here. He always finds fault in what I do. He rallies with my sister's support to undervalue my knowledge and networks of places and peoples I know. I have forgiven both of them, but it still leaves me hurt inside. In fact, my sister has blocked me from Facebook due to this. I am returning home soon where I will have to face him up. If you have any advice, how can I cope with him around? U can email me in detail at penpony828@yahoo.co.uk
javaretia 6 months ago
@javaretia
He sounds like a shamer to me - he will deliberately disagree, set you up, dismiss your comments, undervalue your knowledge as you say, to belittle you & make you look & feel stupid in front of people so that he can look superior & feel better. I find this is acceptable behaviour in the UK but it should not be. He obvioulsy feels weak or 'emotionally inadequate' inside & this is why he does it. Pointing this out to him in public is one step to take. It worked for me before :o)
peehawkpennell 5 months ago 2
you are describing my only brother. this is so him. its hard to stop seeing your brother. you are the one who ends up hurting your old parents and messing with the family. not him...you. he is killing me inside...
MsNicole6 6 months ago
My ex was Buddhist, and works in charity and he used to take things out on me. I recommend Patricia's Evans books on abusive relationships, at least it is easier to spot them.
cyclepod1 6 months ago
I just love the name ... The Emotional Abuse Channel. I feel like I should show up and be abused. Well, where's the abuse?
tritonrocks 6 months ago
It's like reading my father's bio. I have been setting firm boundaries, and not letting the abuse continue. While the trauma and scars still remain, I am heading in the right direction towards a healing and positive life.
Necro12X 6 months ago
i am like :O you described my dad :O and i was like :O coz yeah, he had a life changing crisis at the age of 6, which was getting tb, and learning to walk and talk again after being in quarantine, and he was from a divorced home :/ the whole lot is him to a tee :/ i am like yeah, the bleeping bleep :/ he foisted all his insecurities on to me, via psychological abuse :/ he was physically violent too :/ for yonks i have felt guilty about having nothin to do with him.but recently i feel no guilt.
minimal1975 6 months ago
If I may add another, he only speaks when he wants something. No idle chatter. No discussing the weather - nothing. He would only talk to me when he wanted sex, a favor, for me to drive to the store for him, wanted to know if I knew where an item was, etc. He never talked to me unless he wanted something from me.
ImDemanding 6 months ago
BTW, his mother left him at age 1 and didn't return until he was in high school. She abandoned him, and from what Im told he cried for his mom for years at night. She wasn't a junkie, only hooked on men.
ImDemanding 6 months ago
Constantly testing nerves, I think, means doing the exact opposite of what you say/ask/do. Yes = no. Up = down. Right = left. Right = wrong. Black is white. And white is blue. I am in this type of relationship, I gained 100+ pounds, now Ive lost 50, became extremely depressed borderline suicidal, and nearly lost my mind because the abuse was so subliminal. Until, I woke up .. I am now plotting my escape. I am jobless now, and I have $10 to my name. Me & my kids gotta get out ...
ImDemanding 6 months ago
My current significant other has all these characteristics, except one. He's never been able to convince me that I "need" him.
Of course, his "early age trauma" was a horrific car accident that left him with a quarter of his prefrontal cortex irreparably damaged, so there's probably more sparking his behavior than just plain abusiveness.
zEropoint68 7 months ago
Keep up the good work!
thelksis 7 months ago
how can i stay away, my parents are like this..so depressing =(.i am a worthless person now because of them..
tatoearashiga 7 months ago
@tatoearashiga cut them out of ur life,i did
HelenaChristensen 7 months ago
My dad is an alcoholic narcissist and this decribes him perfectly. I hate his guts because he hurts my mum so much. So much it hurts me to see her that way.
Toxicslime1 7 months ago
could this apply to parents/ guardians/ family members?
3sweetful 8 months ago
@3sweetful ohhh yes
suchafool990 7 months ago
This video (except for the drinking/smoking/druggies section), describes my former spouse to the letter.
bradchaz 10 months ago
What if the emotional abuser is your mother?
RandyVanMalmsteen 1 year ago
@RandyVanMalmsteen call a family neigh bour tell them bhow your feeling and try get out hope this helps
ashlyndenbybaby 11 months ago
I have people like this in my life....and they profess thereselves as christians...now matter how long ive worked for them and my skills and knowledge of the trade...they dont let me move up the ladder...new people come in with no skills and get to do what i should be doing
catnipfever22 1 year ago
Fuck my life to the fullest this hit so many red buttons :(
dbzt3 1 year ago
As a survivor of emotional abuse, I am not sure what being a nurse has to do with anything, I am a professional person and I do use compassion and understanding in my job. If u r a nurse I feel sorry for your patients. But most of all I feel sorry for you and your nasty attitudr
9lorac 1 year ago 7
Good vid but some words aren't spelled correctly
SusieArviso 1 year ago
tomlambssays You are clearly not a well educated person with a lack of compassion. I forgive you because I would not want to wake up and be you every day
9lorac 1 year ago
Like I will read my bio ... sad, but finally I am over, but scars still need to be healed...
MrSebastiansek 1 year ago
@MrSebastiansek time does wonders. ull have happiness again I promis u just dont know it yet. pray
TheEmotionalAbuse 1 year ago 2
@MrSebastiansek healing is a process and in time you will have peace once again i have been through it
skyaglow 1 year ago
@skyaglow Thanks:)
MrSebastiansek 1 year ago
If the abuser is a lover its easier to get away. But a parental abuser, attacking their underag children? How should i deal with that?
xXPakhiaPriestessXx 1 year ago
@xXPakhiaPriestessXx
Call the police, and social services. Divorce him and let him be ordered to pay child support. As a mother, you are to protect your children.
getrealthen 1 year ago 4
My mom is very emotionally abusive to me. I learned to numb my feelings and become zombie like when I am around her.
tropical481 1 year ago 8
@tropical481
You need to get a bus ticket to the other side of the US and start a life. You can do it. Just start out in a women's shelter where you will get all kinds of help. Or, you can save your money, roommate, go to college, live on campus and get a career. Remember, move to the other side of the US. You need a life of your own. GO>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
getrealthen 1 year ago
@tropical481 How do you do that?
Washie321 8 months ago
@Washie321 It doesn't just happen over night, it's a process. But first you disconnect from your feelings by simply not thinking. Try not having a single thought. Then imagine every negative feeling that you have being crushed and swallowed and killed from within. Dissociate from reality and block out anything or anyone that causes you discomfort. It takes practice but for me it has been a great coping mechanism.
tropical481 8 months ago
but what if its your dad and u love him ????????
sociallyineffective 1 year ago
@sociallyineffective You have to first stop loving him and blaming yourself.
lemsip 10 months ago
I was married to this man for a long time. Its a long way back from this kind of abuse. Every aspect of my life, my physical self ,my cooking (and the list goes on) was critisized. The emotional scars are devastating. I am no longer with him and I am still struggling to get my self respect back,
9lorac 1 year ago 2
@9lorac you're the dumbass that dated him and rewarded him with sex in the first place.....don't blame him, blame yourself.
tomlambsays 1 year ago
@9lorac
Go to nursing school, study, and become a nurse. Nurses rule.
getrealthen 1 year ago
@9lorac The cleverer you get at spotting abusers the cleverer they get at hiding their true personalities. Born psychopaths are especially good at this. They can be like sleepers and are very patient. Then when they are feeling 'safe' in the relationship their false persona drops.
I wasn't born yesterday so thought I knew all about the red flags from experience but there were more that I didn't know about and the ways and means psychopaths have at their disposal are still being invented.
lemsip 10 months ago
The info is great. Fix the typos!
teeel 1 year ago
my dad is one. He is the meanist guy alive he makes me feel like I'm useless
Emilyproulx19749 1 year ago 2
@Emilyproulx19749 You're not alone.
EricaYE6 1 year ago
I love ya dad, why did you do this shit?
movadoband 1 year ago 2
This video is an exact definition of my father when he get's angry. Then he just pretends everything is all good and treats me like nothing ever happened. If any of you are going through the same thing I'm sorry. You don't deserve this and I feel your pain.
lolipopPrincess 1 year ago
that fits my ex wife to a T
seanth014 1 year ago
Wow...like a slap in the face, this was a wake up call indeed...
KositaQ 1 year ago 2
@KositaQ u have to react because if u don't it's like u didn't watch this video.
I wish you the best n tnx 4 d comment
TheEmotionalAbuse 1 year ago 4
@TheEmotionalAbuse: Thank you and I agree. I am doing this in the most calming calculated way because I have to plan how and where to go, have no one to help me at this point and need to be self-sufficient, I already have two job offers and it is only a matter of time before I meave and become independent very soon. Thanks again ;)
KositaQ 1 year ago
@TheEmotionalAbuse I have people like this in my life....and they profess thereselves as christians...no matter how long ive worked for them and my skills and knowledge of the trade...they dont let me move up the ladder...new people come in with no skills and get to do what i should be doing...i get called names...there disrespectful towards my property....there wierd....and they have the nerve to ask me to go to church with them
catnipfever22 1 year ago
Great vid but I don't agree with one point. You state that abusers are all smokers/drinkers/druggies ect. This is not true. Many are church going high standing members of society that wear a mask in public but are very abusive in private.
walkaboutwithme 1 year ago 34
@walkaboutwithme You got that right! The phony religious hypocrite that uses the wifely submission line to justify his abuse. Isn't it funny how all of these types of men neglect to understand that they are to love their wives as Christ loved the church? They just use what suits them and their purposes. Totally selfish and evil heartless people.
All you abusive men out there man up and get a grip. Women respond to love and not abuse. If you had any sense you would love your wives.
TheScriptureAlone 1 year ago
I've been in this situation many a time as I used to go to church but had to stop because of the emotional abuse & I was treading on egg shells nearly all the time. I was patronised so goodness know how I would have been treated had I been more myself. I didn't talk much about myself otherwise I'd be met with disapproval, criticism or envy but they wanted me to talk about my problems. I'm British but the support I was getting was mostly from American websites & books.
lemsip 10 months ago
To continue I had to relate the support and information to my culture. Brits tend not to want to talk about religion either in a positive way or a negative way so I had few people to confide in. Most can't be bothered with religion but think that Christianity should be remain in Britain as the foremost religion on an institutional level but not personal as the rituals are woven into the fabric of our society.
These abusive Christians may or may not be smokers/drinkers/drug takers.
lemsip 10 months ago
@walkaboutwithme I had an abusive bf that went to church and had a chauvenistic side to him. He felt he was God's gift to women and that he was holding out for the "perfect" one. He made me feel like I was never "good enough"
rehooten 7 months ago
Essentially, the act of trying to "make things work" with someone who carries these dastardly traits is another form of control itself. My recommendation regarding emotional abusers is to simply get away from them. Completely. Victimization over. Your self-esteem is yours to protect, embrace and nurture. It doesn't come by way of what another says about you. It comes from what you think of the person in the mirror staring back at you. Remaining the victim is a choice.
blastkist 1 year ago 3
This sounds exactly like my father.
Miki810 1 year ago 4
@Miki810 Mine too.
EricaYE6 1 year ago
wow everything in this is true i picked out a ton of stuff that he does to me and how he makes me feel, especially the one where he never blames himself and always makes me look like the bad guy. neglects my feelings and needs yeah all that. however i don't have any money and nowhere to go but im working on saving up n about a week or 2 i should be out and i'll ignore him until i move out
reseymg 1 year ago 12
@reseymg good 4 U I'm happy for you
TheEmotionalAbuse 1 year ago
@TheEmotionalAbuse i finally left the guy i was with a year ago. he emotionally abused me for 3 years. i finally got the courage to move out and i went to live with my friend who is now my boyfriend. he saved my life bc i was at the point in thinking about committing suicide bc that's how bad my ex hurt me. he helped me fix my broken heart and my broken spirit and now i know that life is worth living.
reseymg 2 months ago
@reseymg There are shelters that you could go to until you get on your feet. I did that. It is how I left one of my abusive bf's.
rehooten 7 months ago
really people give me a break English isnt my language lol XD
TheEmotionalAbuse 1 year ago
the mispelling threw me off.
Clarissa1026 1 year ago
I think we both are abuser. :)
midz500 1 year ago
@midz500 Sometimes abusers bring out the worst in you. They get to know your weaknesses so they can press your buttons so you end up looking like the abuser. It happened to me.
lemsip 10 months ago
i can relate to this point(rarely to apologize but makes me apologize for things you had no control on)
itsuptome27 1 year ago
@itsuptome27 me too he's never wrong and i always apologize!!!!
reseymg 1 year ago
@reseymg it's time to stop apologizing really you would get to a sertin point where it is ridiculous to even blame yourself, dont you think so? you have to deside eather you stay or you leave. if I were you I would leave and the sooner the better. don't stay untill you can't stand yourself anymore. take care.
TheEmotionalAbuse 1 year ago
a very good point ( makes u think you need them)
itsuptome27 1 year ago
spell-check is a great tool ;)
GodWillGiveMeJustice 1 year ago
Abusers also make you want to seek their approval. I know. I am trying to get out of an emotionally abusive relationship right now. It is very hard. He has tried to kill my self esteem.
Lara77473 1 year ago
i can relete 2 this video
gurmad 1 year ago
Sorry, but not all emotional abusers are "attractive." Anyone can be an emotionally abusive person. It does not matter what they look like.
thinkofabettername 1 year ago 2
@thinkofabettername True but it helps if they are physically attractive which is why so many of them spend lots of money on improving their looks. Otherwise they don't bother at all and let themselves go.
lemsip 10 months ago
My mother is an emotional abuser. She calls me names, insults me, tries to pick fights, takes it out on me if she has a bad day, etc. I was very glad the day I moved out, and now I see her as little as possible.
What's worse is my grandmother constantly makes excuses for her behavior. Well there are no excuses no matter what anyone says!
Uni92243 1 year ago 2
Wow. Powerful stuff. I've been living w/this for nearly 20 yrs now. Time to escape his stifling constraints..
ImAnnaChristine 1 year ago
Attractive??
Luv4Learning 1 year ago
@Luv4Learning lol yes! why r u asking ;p?
TheEmotionalAbuse 1 year ago
@Luv4Learning
Charming and attractive partner is the choice of current young ones.
The first thing they see to start a relationship is based on looks, not the humanity.
The attractive ones also know the fact that if one partner will leave them they will get the other one easily again .
This makes them careless about the current partner while the partner is the one who is supposed to care for them and is supposed to feel thankful for them to allow them to live with them.
farzanatasneem 1 year ago
my dad drinks, smokes, everything!
hes an emotional abuser!
omg!
anus544 1 year ago
Every single point in this video is spot on... if you ever meet a women like this run for your life they destroy your self esteem and it is very very hard to recover from i'm still working on it
davaflava323 2 years ago 3
thanx for the comment & check my newest video "smile & laugh after abuse" it helps, along with my other videos ;)
TheEmotionalAbuse 2 years ago
@davaflava323 I agree. These women will at first be very charming and flaunt their sexuality. Underneath it all though they are very insecure and undermine a persons self esteem.
tangoluggy 1 year ago
Please accept this as constructive criticism - check your spelling.
I don't mean to be picky but would rather encourage the bettering of your literary work. You have lots of potential if you apply yourself.
Twinhit 2 years ago 3
I think there should be more investigation.
Keep in mind that there are people with diabetes who can be easily irritable through no fault of their own but a reaction to inbalanced bloodsugar.
Also, a woman that does these things can lead to a man leaving her.
Better to live in the wilderness than with a foolish contentious woman who thinks she's boss.
Such a woman will cost dearly.
shudders....
Twinhit 2 years ago 4
Natalie Portman is kind of like this; she has narcissistic personality disorder, in addition to passive agressive personality disorder, she really enjoys hurting powerless people, and employing men with a criminal background, just real scum, as her bodyguards.
pillsburydoughboy47 2 years ago
"they make you fell like a bad person"
1:18
wow this video doesn't explain ANY theory why any of these "attributes" are emotional abusers and are very broad, this is one the silliest psychology videos I've even seen.
ZERO logic ZERO valid truth.
redeyesthe20th 2 years ago
hi redey this is not a psychology video it is a result of researchs done in many websites and it's points of view from my personal experience, if you don't think it's true thats ur point of view however I had the experience and agree with each point in the video & so does the people who were abused. you can have a look at thier comments below. and thank you for expressing your ideas.
TheEmotionalAbuse 2 years ago
they make you feel like the bad person. sorry for the typing mistake
TheEmotionalAbuse 2 years ago
More charming than attractive.
Iberianwildwolf 2 years ago
Every point here applies to a woman who emotionally abuses me. Every single point!
chrisman737 2 years ago
This is so true.
Chrissygirl67 2 years ago