Christopher Hitchens Tells a Dirty Joke

[rexplorerii]

flaged



[PointsNorth1]

retard.

[refuseit]

fail

[swordv]

fake person

[1ePoo]

flaged

[PercussiveAndy]

not even close

[lmjak]

Fuck you

[EwenMcPifter]

how pointless.

[Dwemerkin]

............... This isn't Hitch. Video credibility decreased.

[Tj930]

Is this (voiceover man) a Yank?

[buzzkick]

That joke was really bad



[zaxxxon]

that's not Hitchens

[odinrc]

This is NOT Hitchens. A poor imitation of an Englishman.

[sickofgod69]

The accented speaker is not even close. Those who say it is similar are clearly deaf.

[Parrotguy1999]

Apart from not being Hitchens... how is that a joke? It's not only not funny, I can't see how it's even supposed to be.

[OneDollarBook]

☂☂☂ 匚卄尺工ち匕口ㄗ卄モ尺 卄工匕匚卄モれち had his first love affair in a Texaco men's room.

[ethanB612]

Probably the worst accent I have ever heard. Good writing though xP.

[EasingDifficulties]

WHEN THE WORLD CHANGES

When homosexuals can get what they need then I'll be in a world tailor-made to my peculiar bend of hair-straightening.

[dalhar20]

First of all, good impersonation. Second, not funny. Good try though.

[wealthmaster71]

This is not Hitchens!

[trident3b]

imposter... how cheap. what a waste of time.

[SayidShazeen]

Quite oblviously not his voice

[weeryan2008]

Wow, this is very obviously Hitchens.

[chopetube]

This is not Hitch. Don't bother listening.

[Learnerwp]

The joke doesn't really end. Better if it ended with a clincher line. I wrote this. Perhaps you'll like it. Let me know if you redo the ending. I'd love to hear it. It ends with:

E-hem. Why are you looking at me like that?"

(Ran out of space on the previous entry.)

[Learnerwp]

My good lady, my high moral standards prevent me from telling a falsehood. So I'm afraid you'll have to tell one for me. You have done everything I've asked of you throughout this magnificent night of exquisite debauchery. Hence, I'll hide under the bed while you conjure up a reasonable or at least plausible denial. After all, I Spent the night with you out of respect for my darling wife, for I would never ask her to do the depraved and sluttish activities that you are willing to engage in.

[OneDollarBook]

@Learnerwp

Don't cry over Hitchens as he wasn't the only homosexual on T.V.

[Learnerwp]

@OneDollarBook I share in your grief. So, who IS your favorite homosexual on TV?

[unklscrufy]

@OneDollarBook His wife and children might disagree with you about his sexual preferences, but have your fun.

[OneDollarBook]

@unklscrufy Wikipedia: Hitchens has written of his homosexual experiences when in boarding school in his memoir, "Hitch-22." These experiences continued in his college years when he allegedly had relationships with two men who eventually became a part of the Thatcher government.

[Learnerwp]

Well, I'm a big Hitchens fan, may God rest his soul, and I thought this was fucking hilarious. I belief Hitch is probably up in heaven have a damn jolly good laugh about it with the Lord right now.

[jagara1]

The accent does not quite cut it, mind you my New York accent is no good either...

[LookForThetruth11]

Nice fake accent. Why pretend to be hitch telling a joke that has no chance of landing horrible. He was way funnier than that

[Learnerwp]

@LookForThetruth11 Wasn't the original idea behind YouTube that people would put their own videos on it--I mean videos they made themselves, like this fellow did?

[EdDueim]

Not funny, not Hitch.

Dr. Johnson was caught in flagrante by his wife (Yeah, I know - it's apocryphal.)

'Dr. Johnson, I am surprised.'

'No, madam. I am surprised, you are astonished.'

[mnhsty]

If that's CH, I'm Bugs Bunny.

[KCkoolaidking]

this is his brother peter hitchens



[Putaspellonyou]

this is very well done...

[Tris67]

not the Hitch

[bluexepnos]

lol, greatest joke of all time, thumbs up

[nuberiffic]

so much build up for no payoff. FAIL

[GregIsLegend]

This is hilarious.

[Jarknark1]

that was hilarious, i don't know what people are so uptight about. We don't need to defend christopher, he is an impenetrable source of intellect and wisdom. This is just a funny, clever video that makes fun of christopher's distinctive mannerisms, and occasionally drawn-out points.

[ForYeensSake]

@Jarknark1 It's not cristopher. You can clearly hear this.

[GglSux]

I don't think the likeness is all that great. The manner and and turn of phrase is quite good, but the voice "isn't right".

Just my 5C

[interfan63]

you sound like a fag

[olioli917]

no good, i could tell it wasn't him right away.. u don't have the... "je ne sais quoi" that Christopher has..

[ProcInc]

Christopher Hitchens+Buzz Killington

[Diabolous3x]

everyone loves hitchens that much that even a slight mockery will cause dislikes en mass

[EdgePitSwing]

Hahahahahhaa. What an awesome spoof on how long-winded Hitchens is. I love Hitchens, but he definitely takes forever to get to a point. Great stuff.

[Kmunz7]

This is clearly not Hitchens' voice, although the manner of speech is very similar.

[mikelheron20]

@Kmunz7 I don't think it's even very similar.

[legalis1]

an atheist walks up to his mum and says, 'i want a bike for Christmas' she tells him to fuck off u don't believe in Jesus

[badblueman]

Christians, asking "What would Jesus do" since ~30 CE ...and then choosing slaughtering, torturing, raping, pillaging being retarded and being assholes as a correct response. I guess a Christian mother would be a bitch and say that, after all, the Christian God is a mentally retarded psychopath along with his retarded son Jesus. The atheist kid is better of without a bike than with a bike and retarded.

[legalis1]

@badblueman i think it takes more than just guts and balls to be crucified just for stupid apes like u BOY!!

[badblueman]

@legalis1 All I know is that Giordano Bruno burned alive; along with thousands, tortured and killed in ways more severe than being merely crucified. Jesus was a pansy compared to those who suffered because of his happy-clappy believers. Even before Christendom, Romans and other ancients treated people FAR worse than just flailing and crucifixion. Stupid apes? Jesus didn't suffer "for me". He suffered because he was a retard challenging the authority. The fault for that is his, not ours...lol

[NerfTheBrightWizards]

This is great ignore the dislikes this is funny to a hitchens fan

[callmeCAYLOR]

did Swordswinger make this up or is this an actual joke by christopher hitchens??? anyone know?

[revatucker]

@di3happy. Because it is not the voice of Hitchens.

[luckyswine]

US doing UK accent.

[di3happy]

why so many dislikes? its actually pretty funny...

[RightLibertarian]

Not funny, and not nearly dirty enough.

[xdomaraqx]

I laughed. . . .

[lewars1912]

Short jokes are best. Something like:

Q: What has two legs and bleeds?

A: Half a dog.

Q: What do you call a bunny with a bent cock?

A: Fucks Funny.

[Wittgensteinien]

@lewars1912 Freud said that 2 of the major pieces to a good joke are, "Economy", and "thrift." So seems like that stands to reason.

[homeofbrokendreams]

Nice try on the english accent.

[irishosaru]

Hugh Grant has changed.

[mixmastermeeks]

Brits can't tell a joke.

[BitChronic]

wow, seriously guys? I'm a huge fan of hitch and this is fucking hilarious.

[ventura433]

dont mess with hitch punk

[ebooklibrary27]

Don't claim to be recording the hitch in your description if your actually just recording your prepubescent voice trying to get someone to listen to you..

[indefinedmystery]

lmao.. sweet

[Joeyg143]

Take a joke, faggots.

[DeFineAl]

Oh please sounds as much like him as sadam Hussain would

[cporter603]

Get it? The guy's doing an abysmal impression of Hitchens and telling a wordy joke with a weak punchline to express the opinion that Hitchens is longwinded and bland. GET IT?! COMEDY GOLD.

[Tenacres1]

Not Christopher Hitchens voice. This is spam, and a poor attempt at counterfeiting a distinguished thinker.

[BreaksFast]

This is the first time I have ever felt it was warranted to say: fake and gay!

Fuck I hope I never have to say that again.

[allendsmeet]

Wow. You're terrible. Just terrible. FAIL

[dianerosemary]

This is not Hitchens.

[plebmonk]

cool story bro

[CatFacedKillers]

fake and gay

[ianlutz]

he was an idiot with an appealing accent to the masses of superficial people who think they are better than the rest.....no different than listening to a whiny vegan at a coffee shop

[pnq8787]

it wasn't even funny, dude

[ModernBabylon]

to any english person it is immediately obvious that you aren't english.

[MrAnthropophagy]

Sounds nothing like him at all. At least do it with a plausible English accent. Crap.

[arabie2006]

You could immediately notice that it was a poor imitation of Hitchens.

[RM6721]

"shit and fake" you don't get it, do you? This is brilliantly done.

[1982rf]

Shit and fake...

[YoungEscapist]

Done in very poor taste, you are very far off (and it's a terrible joke)

[AsifIcarebear3]

@YoungEscapist Poor taste? You must be kidding.

[dycarbon1]

Hahaha nice job! Get a deeper voice and you'll be just like him!

[AsifIcarebear3]

Hahaha, you did him so well. I'm sure he'd tell such a joke.

[BoozyBeggar]

GAY

[NoWitnessesNoRegrets]

Mr Hitchens also said "accept no imitation"

[ononoma]

The vocal patterns, rhythms phrasings, etc. are quite good, but the voice is of a different pitch and not quite British enough. Plus Hitch can be quite vulgar when he chooses to "my dear man". Therefore, this joke is beneath him and neither fumy, satirical or ironic. Still if the "jokester" works on his accent and pitch, and can get some better material, this might make for some interesting stand up.

[yamenhawit]

Please notice the amount of DISlikes... Hint Hint ;)

[yamenhawit]

since when is Hitchens a dry old stiff who is afraid of sounding offensive or even vulgar?!

[whannes]

That is actually quite hilarious. Sounds much more like Peter, his brother, though.

[DemonAMVs]

Fake and definitely gay.

[BMayhew60]

The vocal impression is so so at best. The way the words and structure were chosen though, was spot on. I could have easily guessed who you were impersonating from just the words. Well done.

[RaggedM88]

even though it did not sound like Hitchens (although the manner of speech was well imitated) and the joke was purposefully not funny I enjoyed it for some reason 

[RoninEXS]

His manner of speech is poor at best. It's enough to realize that it's Hitchens' you're doing but he's much better at telling jokes. I wanted to like it... but I didn't find if very amusing. 0/10

[emaildoctor]

Ridiculous. Extremely poor and laughable impression.

[arminius6661]

@PeopleMustAct If that is the best you can do, then more fool you! ;-)

[originosity]

Misleading title. Moderately funny joke. Dry humor. Good impersonation. Disproportionate amount of likes to dislikes.

[man8785]

Faggot.

[esiosan]

I thought the impersonation was decent.

[Afontanez1962]

Not Hitchens.

[EvilsOfFeminism]

I want to hear Hitchens say this for real.

[arminius6661]

Garbage!

[PeopleMustAct]

@arminius6661

Garbage is your middle name

[donquickoats]

Decent impression of Hitch's speech patterns, if not his voice. I actually got a chuckle or two out of this. Maybe you wouldn't have gotten so many dislikes if you hadn't implied in your title that it's the man himself.

[verlinden66]

bullshit



[samanthanobile]

your voice is shit . doesn't sound like him at all. are you not embarrassing to post such nonsense.

[57earthchild]

That is NOT Hitch. fail

[EvolvedParadigm]

i appreciate this.

[EvolvedParadigm]

lol

[tpstrat14]

"I shall proceed now" is when I realized it wasn't Hitchens.

[KodierungHerz]

I kept expecting for hitchens to start talking, but yeah, what reafdaw01 said.

[johndeshler]

this isn't hitchen speaking. don't bother listening/viewing. it's a long winded fraud lacking a sense of humor.

[alexhamster1134]

stupid yank trying to sound engilsh?

[tinyflyonthewall]

@alexhamster1134 Stupid Englishman (Hitch) trying to be American.

[alexhamster1134]

@tinyflyonthewall eh? he is as british as they come! the narrator of this video however: refer to my prev comment

[tinyflyonthewall]

@alexhamster1134 Your previous comment spurred mine. Accents are incidental to region. The fact that Hitch left his country of birth in favor of mine speaks volumes. But to me, he will always be an outsider.

[alexhamster1134]

@tinyflyonthewall does one volume of your vast library read "go where the job takes you"? probably due to that.

[tinyflyonthewall]

@alexhamster1134 Really? This genius couldn't find a job in his own backyard?

[alexhamster1134]

@tinyflyonthewall yea thats just repeating what i said: he left the UK to find a job in the USA. most humans emigrate for that reason. (apart from the damn asylum seekers and illegals).

[tinyflyonthewall]

@alexhamster1134 ROFL! Gotta agree to that!

[smithhedgehog]

Why did you make him sound like a bad voice-actor?

[drmccann1983]

I still love it.... despite the fact that the tone is off, the cadence is spot on!

[ejohnwright]

Sounds more like Peter Hitchens.

Good nonetheless.

[ezmereldagreen]

oh do fuck off.....this is totally unneeded - he does tell dirty limericks. so its even more futile....

[ritzcoke13]

this is Christopher's brother Peter.

[ollybreh]

this is lame

[dibaterman]

a 3:28 second joke, that's like 4x longer than hitchens actually takes =/.

[conguyuk83]

American tit

[LatemNam666]

PEOPLE ARE SO STUPUD...They dont get it LOL

Listen to how sentences are constructed and which words are beeing used. Thats whats funny. Not his voice or the actuall joke lol.

Its a fantastic impression. Upload more PLZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[drmccann83]

@LatemNam666 Thank you!!! I nearly piss myself every time I listen to this!!!

[twooffour]

@LatemNam666

So who's the speaker here?

[Robmonkey95]

Fake

[ukwarrior89]

@swordswinger

It took me about three seconds to click this poor excuse of an impression away. You should be ashamed.

[WillofIceandIron]

What an utter waste of time to make this video. I am glad it only wasted 21 seconds of my own before I turned it off. A subsequent 30 seconds, admittedly, writing this comment to tell you what a stupid cunt you are.

[carsanookdotcom]

Terrible joke - donc les photos sont OK!

Bangkok Johnny

Royaume de Thailande

[Longsleeeves]

Ya you dont sound like him at all

[thescottsimpson]

please take up smoking.

[LatemNam666]

Haha..Thats actually funny. The voice doesent sound like him, but everything else is sport on. "Age 32 to 48" LOL

[redryan20000]

your voice isn't manly enough

[avelingbarford]

Do you really think you can hoodwink us? that is not Hitch

[diabl2master]

pretty bad imitation

you can tell from the guy's voice he knows he's doing an imitation

[alyu100tw]

Pretty good impression. Stop getting butthurt people...

[johnsquire77]

speech patterns ok. vioce not deep enough. u need to drink and smoke more

[baseballplayer1251]

sad fake!

[altargirl89]

I think this is hilarious

[reafdaw01]

His manner of speech is copied pretty good. Your voice isn´t like his at all.

[ednigma12]

you useless prick why dont you stop posting videos with you trying to imitate christopher hitchens

[gondor420]

not the hitch

[lameracoyunda]

Thi sis definitelly not the voice of Hitchens, We all know that, I went to his debates, and that has nothing to do with him, 100%, this guy tries to speak with Hitchens accent... without much success... what is the purpose? pure nonsense

[Holammer]

Poor imitation.

[briantheman890]

not hitch at all

[grumpystu]

Fail. Not Hitch.

[DanielJordan8412]

stick to the atheism 

[fertilizerspike]

The voice needs work but the mannerisms and speech patterns are nailed. hahaha

[fluoridemindcontrol]

Although this is not Hitchens I thought it was hysterical on SO many levels!

[chinoyeclay]

YOU awful sir are a complete hoax with a gay voice :(

[gcgwgc]

@chinoyeclay

Christopher, is that you? XD

[4863440]

I'm afraid to point out that simply adding an english accent to one's voice does not make one sound like christopher hitchens, you pompous jitweed

[timetochilli]

this is a obvious american guy tryna do a english accent

[ciaochowbella]

Not Hitchens.

[SPxQR]

fake

[sam00011000]

inb4/bullshit.

[RussianAssassin21]

I actually think this is hilarious. It's obviously a joke about Hitchens, the joke told is not supposed to be funny.

[F33bs]

@RussianAssassin21 I thought it was hilarious as well. I don't know why everyone is getting all butthurt about it.

[ChollieD]

To believe this is the real Hitchens, you'd have to live in a kiddie pool filled to the brim with pure stupid.

This is a pathetic attempt at: a) a British accent, b) imitating Christopher Hitchens's voice, and c) humor.

Shall we call it a dimwit trifecta?