Paintballs Coming Home - Half Man Half Biscuit

[pCriistopher]

Very nice.



[PDK8807]

The songs not about Tories.

[glowball01]

May they live forever...god bless Nigel Blackwell, lyrical and satirical genius.

[paullavan2011]

This song's about the bunch of faceless spineless gutless cunts who live in suburbia, who join the golf club and the tory party. They sold their souls at birth to the god of scum, and got fuck all in return.

[MishimaYukio17]

@paullavan2011 do tories like annie lennox?

[edmund184]

If Bill Hicks had been a scouser...

[Cushpot]

@edmund184 spot on there mate!

[henryhonkhonk]

Me Me Me Me - that song is about me and my good lady Nerys!

[rob91Harvey]

0:36... Need not say more.

[OnionTerror2007]

It seems that 54 people took offence at this summing them up completely!

[MrDischargeandi]

The thinkingmans Wurzels. Thank god for HMHB!!!!!!

[GriefTourist]

can someone upload Reasons To Be Miserable

[GriefTourist]

live nowadays they sing something about henman hill

[1878EFC2008]

@GriefTourist

You can get that version halfway down the list on the left. "alt version"

[bigmeuprudeboy]

one day you're chasing skirt every weekend, taking pills and generally having the time of your life then the next moment you've turned into one of the people this little ditty is singing about

'and had a row on News years eve' :0(

[zerodragon1000]

right there nothing about paintball in this video, you sir are full of LIES

[johnbarry1965]

NIGEL BLACKWELL SAID IT BEST WHEN HE WROTE THERE IS NOTHING BETTER IN LIFE THAN WRITING ON THE SOLES OF YOUR SLIPPERS WITH A BIRO!

[TheMrLusk]

@johnbarry1965 We've all done it, and it's so damn true ain't it ???

[ButherLi55ett]

The last line is brilliant, great ending.

[spleenteam]

absolutely marvellous, Been spreading the word about these geniuses since 1988, but still much work to do.

[johnbarry1965]

@spleenteam I know what you mean, I'm always spreading the gospel to the lyrical genius of Nigel Blackwell, in this confused world he makes the most sense.

[Rubysmudda]

I love HMHB a whole lot

[keef71]

how many versions of this are there? i've heard two, but you can hear the next 'subject' being called before they start singing it. was it always performed live as heard here, or would it be mixed-up depending on the mood?

[LunarEcli]

I don't get the "They've got the whole world in their house bit" and how it applies to the people in this song...if anyone could explain that to me i'd be grateful

[Mrpbills]

@LunarEcli You buy soup out of a carton and NOT a tin, obviously its way over your surrey head. no amount of explaining will ever help you, total moron.

[LunarEcli]

@Mrpbills i live in a council house in illingworth, halifax, a long way from surrey.

i was just confused about if it was saying the people in this song tended to be middle class or it meant they will just buy anything to be honest. no need for the aggression and insults really

[CurtainChicken]

@LunarEcli Its talking about footballers overpaid, rich, worthless lives.

The "whole world in their house" bit is because they have pretty much everything.

[heyfuzzycub]

@LunarEcli it says they're got the whole world in their house to see their new conservatory

[Goodsinwoods]

This is random, even by my standards. Wish I'd made a living from doing what they do...

And if they're Scouse, I'm a Geordie. I'm not

[hoffnerburns]

@Goodsinwoods They're from Birkenhead.

[Goodsinwoods]

This is random, even by my standards. Wish I'd made a living from doing what they do...

[enochsneed]

I think I used to live next door to this lot in Solihull (yes, Steve, I'm talking about YOU and your godawful family)

[cynicallaughter]

Cant beat a bit of Half Man Half Biscuit, If you like this you might like our stuff too, have a listen.

[mrploat]

The Paintball allusion explained...to an international audience. In 1996 England hosted the European football championships and there was a shit song released call 'Football's coming home'. The sort of people alluded to in the song are those sorts who bought that record and who would most likely sign up for group paintball sessions.

[heyfuzzycub]

@mrploat hah I'm American and I love that song (THREE LIONS ON THE SHIRT), what does that make me? :)

[DaveShedMan]

Still laughing my Joy Division oven gloves off at the guy who asked what this has to do with paintball! The words "point' and "missed' come to mind. One of HMHB's best songs and a great video, thanks Serge!

[CrouchyLovesChloe]

the reason this has something to do with paintballing is because Nigel is describing a horrible plain boring family that know where things are in B&Q and he hates people like this so hes gunna go out and paintball them. its genius.

[kath61]

sublime guys...sublime

[davejukebox]

Scouse poetry.....

[davejukebox]

Wonderful stuff from a bunch of scousers! Class!

[trfccurt07]

@davejukebox About as scouse as John Peel and The Coral. Get some research done

[davejukebox]

Fab!

[barabadabada]

Just minding my own business, doing a bit of bowling. These people with camera phones are everywhere. 47 dislikes though? No way! HMHB best songs, best vids.

[H3Y0o]

0:35 #FTW

[TheCarsThatAteParis]

Brilliant, thanks

[drcoolisme]

stop at 0:17

[GriefTourist]

updated live version mentions henman hill

[ThePunisher19925]

0:36 woah.....

[blackmesainbound]

Greatest lyricist ever

[SpiderPrincessox]

Haha love this song and video!! :D

What is the Crystal Maze exactly?

x

[cheekymonkey1979]

@SpiderPrincessox The Crystal Maze was a bizarre action-based game show hosted and devised by weirdy Rocky Horror Show writer Richard O'Brian. It was very polite and quite horrible.

[khalithistle]

haha i had forgotten the four "zones" in the crystal maze

[ashtree50]

"They know where things are in B & Q"

Married life in one sentence.

[mrmaje1]

Quality....especially the last two frames

[MrBILLYBUMBLES]

Still The Greatest Band In Britain. FACT!!!

[Richie979]

@MrBILLYBUMBLES

[dancingpotato321231]

hilarios

[fatandim]

I think I know this couple!

[iCrytex]

If i were a lines man

haha

[ThEmIdNiGhTiNtRuDeR]

Really nice vid man. Well done.

[komyokan1]

rumour has it that nigels a grafitti artist in the kwiki field area of prenton... what wit from the local songsmith, locksmith & blacksmith? "RESPECT women"!

[minimogwai]

Skill

[slytherinsheirx]

I loved the Crystal Maze!

[botbagel]

Oh this is funny stuff! Total Respect!!

[TheEnergyNippleZ]

first heard half man half buscuit on John Peel time ago .. brilliant .

[stev1963hit]

Brilliant vid-for me,sums up how the old blank gen punks view the modern world-cheers!

[kangaroocomedy]

Its a gas aint it!

[robhill1973]

Total respect Annie Lennox!

[Oscar301]

bit of class... and what a fukn outro!

[airdriekiwi]

same cynical attitude I've had for the past 20 years, still love it to bits. The best band I have ever heard.

[clsleamington]

Absolute nonsense.

Which of course its supposed to be. Great stuff!

[saweston1]

Christopher Lloyd in The Joy Of Sex?

'Great Scott Marty!'

[saweston1]

was not was :P

[kclock99]

inspired video mate, as random, yet obvious as the boys themselves, cheers!!!!!!!!!!!

[CharitableView]

And John King.

[SergeLipski]

A was a was ...deep man.

[CharitableView]

Hope the recession's treating em well. I've got nothing but the highest respect for John Aldridge.

[zzxzqwq]

A was time.

[pb4bean]

hhaah this videos so random but funny. great vid

[birdynumnumgooner]

dan20979 no, they are from Birkenhead, the place that Scousers hate, and they support Tranmere Rovers

[PD1968]

Since when do scousers hate Birkenhead,I've got loads of family and mates there,if it wasn't for the Mersey it would be in the city centre.Stop thinking so small time it's paranoia.

[dan290975]

are these from liverpool ?

[BritHumour]

Of course!

[fez41]

No. They are from across the river. Birkenhead.

[ady10001]

tranmere - get it right!!!!

[TheUnholyAntichrist]

slash....at the end

[fez41]

'He's gonna play Half man Half biscuit at his wedding next year, he's gonna play Half man Half biscuit at his wedding next year, he's gonna play Half man Half biscuit at his wedding next year and the caterers will probably serve up salmonella sandwiches.

[d4nnyboix]

hahahaha nice one dude. i cant wait for the ironic moment when i do

[d4nnyboix]

pure genius. have loved them since i heard trumpton riots on tape at a mates house 20 something years ago. havin this as my wedding song next summer.

[dhas8]

WAT DOES THIS HAVE TO DO WITH PAINTBALL

[SergeLipski]

The same amount as  Norwegian Wood by the Beatles has to do with about Scandinavian forestation...

[CrouchyLovesChloe]

@SergeLipski

'Norwegian Wood' is about someone getting pissed of with thier girlfriend so he sets the house on fire using Norwegian Wood. but i do agree this song has nothing to do with paintball.

[Mrpbills]

@dhas8 COCK

[Tcoldsteel]

I'd forgotten how funny these scousers were.

keep it up chaps.

I'm moving in next-door to mervyn hughes.

[conaldi]

i'd forgotten about you lot, first time i've laughed ot load for about 15 years,

peas & spuds,

conor

[MishuTaste]

:36

[WAAAAAAAAAAAY]

they know where things are at B&Q

[ShizuokaDolphin]

Genius song writing! Sad to say I've got friends who are slowly turning into couples like these! :-S

[Mrpbills]

@ShizuokaDolphin ha absolutely, everyone i know more or less!!

[happinessjake]

So true.

[robholt77]

marvellous yes!

[PomerJoN08]

lol at 1:09 u can see a boob.

[crunterstamps]

FANTASTIC Song!! Sums up Well-off Ignorant Britain to a Tee!

[Mrpbills]

@crunterstamps indeed mate, and they are that ignorant they are posting here stuff like 'whats this got to do with paintball?' haaa absolute CLASSic, way over their heads ;) nice one hmhb

[usernamealredytaken]

The one called Sheba died!

[StRitaRocks34]

0:36

[clarice5000]

i like this song because its very random!!

[jamesgooner]

brilliant. respect for annie lennox. i know people just like that

[doctawho42]

there are people like that in australia as well. fuck heads.

[BazzariusDe9]

The Rovers!!!!!

[kevjacko88]

tranmere fans is this brill or wot

[MissStyk]

Oh go and squabble somewhere else, you two. ¬_¬

[SergeLipski]

Agree,it's quite funny to see

like a scene from Abigail's party.

[Huggles4Everyone]

Shhh. I'm trying to pull here.

[SergeLipski]

cheeky.You will be asking me to put some demis roussos on next.

[natthingup]

I, for one, was.

[1958tank]

ABSOLUTLY FOOKIN BRILLIANT........

[skegclarance]

Nothing but total respect for Annie Lenox!!!!

[Scottmachin]

It's funny to see all the paintball fans leaving comments on this vid, not having a clue what it's about. They were probably expecting some great PAINTBALL action! Woo! Join the army, ffs.

[Curtisqaz]

Yes we were

[SergeLipski]

Do you think people are disappointed when they find out that Norwegian Wood by the Beatles is not about Scandinavian forestation? I guess they must be...

[madras1234]

oh, and news alert for the paintballers - YMCA wasn't really about young men staying in hostels...

[Curtisqaz]

Wow this video is shit waste of time

[madras1234]

as indeed, my friend, I suspect are you...

[Curtisqaz]

Yeah ok sorry if this video is fucking gay

[madras1234]

thing is, there are (far too many) people in the UK for whom this song is a perfect summary of their lives - the vid may be a bit basic, but the humour of the song is undoubted. And yes, I know people with german shepherd dogs called Sheba and Prince - and I wouldn't want to be stuck in a pub with them...

[Curtisqaz]

THis song isnt funny one bit its retareded thats for sure

[JonoDarby]

You spelled retarded wrong. Oh the irony! You complete mong.

[madras1234]

not sure Curtis could spell irony, far less appreciate it! Any one whose favourite are paintball/video game clips. I can feel a new genre for the mighty biscuits to ridicule - if only the 'targets' would understand...

[Curtisqaz]

oh and my favorite videos arent paintball clips i was just checking them out for ideas for my arena im building.

[Curtisqaz]

Oh im sorry i didnt know miss spelling one word was a crime you fuckin tool.

[Huggles4Everyone]

It's "mispelling". One word, not two. "I'm" has an apostrophe in it and is capitalised. And "fucking" ends with a "g".

"i was just checking them out for ideas for my arena im building."

Have you ever kissed a girl?

[Curtisqaz]

yes ive kissed plenty of girls all types and ui didnt mean fucking i meant fuckin, and im sorry if i made one mistake dont we all, plus i wasnt does all the apostrophe's oh and i paintballing is one of my favorite things to do, so i was checking out, and finding ideas for my paintball arena, so fuck you

[Huggles4Everyone]

Every comment you make, I think you can't possibly get any less coherent. And every time, you surpass my expectations. You're a gibbering wreck, dear boy. Eat more fruit.

[saveourcity]

"if i was a linesman i would execute defenders who applauded my offsides"

hilarious song.

[Curtisqaz]

yes plenty of girls

[Russell3008]

haha you cant spell retarted go to school you moron and bye the way your fucked up why did you care if its not funny or not i though it aent funy you dont see my complaining you dumbass.

[sweffe96]

You cant spell Retarded either !:D

[Russell3008]

damn

[sweffe96]

xD .

[natthingup]

middle class revolt....

[UberCookieMonster]

kinda lol

[UberCookieMonster]

I dont get british humor

[TheDiamond2007]

It's just a parody of Middle Englanders, that's all, and the Paintball thing is a reference to an old English football song called "Football's coming home"

[eatmypenie]

it sucked balls...... dont watch this shit!

[MongerelWood]

I'm just glad it's not like a cool rugger club thing

[MissAlabaster]

This has made me laugh so much I did a little wee. Thank you! I think..

[EclecticWarrior]

Glad Casizzi ...gets the point!!!

Wonderful Nonsense!!

thanks for Posting!!!

[casizzi]

wtf has that got to do with paintball

[doctawho42]

absolutely nothing

[topyarder]

Great. Thanks. Shame it had a lot of pauses for me.

[russhrew62]

That makes me laugh out loud again and again.

[snice1]

In the words of Kevin Keegan, I love it.

[Whistlechops]

That was fuckin' tasty.

[thebeatlesforever]

lol slash

[tearcon]

Ah, The Middle Class Wankers Song. All hail HMHB!

[regvardy999]

their best lyric is ..

the nausiating bashfulness of early diana

makes me want to set fire to crememorative tea towels

[madras1234]

ah, but the manual dexterity of Hannau Mikkloa (cannot be arsed to check spelling!) makes me want to shake hands with the whole of Finland...

[ElCappitano]

clarkiesundies... Man they're fantastic!!

[pugwishbone17]

lol Slash

[clarkieundies]

Why have I only just discovered this band!!

[fu0594]

00:34 !!!!!!!!!

[theespc]

this still makes me laugh every time I watch it!

[mishima1970]

I work with people who have total respect for Annie Lennox.

It's a very depressing experience......

[HeatherBurns]

Excellent, Britain's greatest national treasure.

[jpell225]

I should have hated it but I watched the whole thing so I must have liked it.

[alkalidocklive]

fantastic.

[EthelHanley]

Excellent video Serge, love HMHB, one of my mates was a producer sound engineer for them.

I have attempted the same with a few Macc Lads songs.

Lots Of Love Ethel x x x

[Paintballmr1]

i agree.. nothing to do with the title.. bad, bad

[poglet]

How fkin refreshing is this?

encapsulates the whole mess(LIFE) in one tuneful dNb/ new folk- grime -alter core/ newt rave aw fk offff

As much as I adore 'Rise Above' by Black Flag , as a 40 year old I sometimes prefer my gentler fk offs

Class

[smiddy515]

i play poker with the guitarist :D