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From: Newsish
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  • I get it! You're a satirist! Good show!

  • WoW. You R A GENIUS!!!!

  • this is still one of the funniest things ever done anywhere. what a guy. all with a

    completely straight face.

  • Comment removed

  • DAMMIT HANNAH!

  • This guy actually rehearsed this and took time to make it. Maaaaaannnn.Get a date

  • "In their blind conceit," Whiskey Tango Foxtrot?? Really?! Inflated Ego = Religion. If everyone kept their egos in check there would be no room for religion or war or hate of any kind.

  • I do know what a joke is, and yes he is a big joke, who better get his life together, big time....what a waste of air

  • @marcymarie55 better get his life together? why do you say that? is he offending some imaginary freind

  • @marcymarie55 no. it is clever. and funny. shhhhhh.

  • Awesome fun.

  • oh and by the way, you are one of the stupiest people I have ever met...wow , go to college...learn something...at least check out Martin Luther, the reformationist...

  • adam and eve had more children and you need to do more research. You seem to know very little about your fact..the tree of temptation was never cut down...Try to explain, why the people in the bible are known to excist on the earth..all the places, monies, towns, leaders are fact...you, need to get your life straight...Wow, what exactly do you believe in?????.....I wouldn't stay on this earth without my faith in God. I would have checked out a long time ago...what keeps you going?

  • @marcymarie55 Marcy, it was a joke. How dumb to you have to be to not understand it was a joke. He knows that the tree was never cut down. He knew that they had way more 2 kids. He was kidding dude.

  • It is so say that you compare a total cult to a true religion....I feel so sorry for you, I am not a bible pushing christian...I just feel so sorry for you...I hope you have done your research on the facts of christianity and the evidence to support all the things written in the bible. I don't know what has made you so anti christian, but I will tell you that God offers his love to you, all you have to do is except it..no strings attach, no money, his love is free...try it..

  • @marcymarie55 Do you know what a joke is?

    He was comparing 2 crazy cults, albeit scientology is wayyyyy more fucked up than christianity considering they totally enslave their members, but the point is that religion is for the weak.

    Those who seek a master will find one...

  • @AgentxAnonymous I'd like to argue that /organized/ religion is for the weak, not religion itself. Organized religion is just another means of controlling the masses. But to have personal beliefs that fill in the missing pieces of what is beyond our current level of understanding is not a sign of weakness, but a means to carry on when emotion would succumb to the darkness of the rational futility of human existence. Therefore, you couldn't call religion itself weak as it is akin to breathing.

  • @marcymarie55 Oh yes the facts.

    Let us see. The earth is a flat disk, we're all inbred, and we can fit two of every animal on a single boat.

    Also dinosaur bones prove God is real. Dinosaurs are dragons, and like unicorns God was pissed at them for some reason, so he told Noah to keep the fuck off his ship.

  • Anyone who can contemplate the eye of a horsefly, the mechanics of human finger movement, the camouflage of a moth, or the building of every kind of matter from variations in arrangement of proton and electron and then maintain that all this design happened without a designer, happened by sheer, blind accident such a person believes in a miracle far more astounding than any in the Bible.

  • @RespectMyHate So since I can contemplate all those things, am I now better than you? Sweeeet. :D

    Your argument is weak and delicious. Om nom nom nom. You have now been destroyed. ^.^

  • about 5 seconds of this video is accurate. the part about adam, eve, cain, and abel in eden is right. the rest of it proves that newsish is psychotic.

  • @stevenscottoddballz It's something called "joke". You not realize? XD

  • @TheShipOfTheseus Fundamentalists can't differentiate their little fairy tales from reality. Yes, religious people actually believe this shit happened LOL!

  • I believe it

  • I'm a believer now- thank you so much for showing me the truth, and saving me from being stupid! I was such a f*king idiot before seeing this video.

  • Man thank you so much.

  • Lame and Kinda gay....

  • no matter what you believe This dude is not cool and not funny. there is nothing worse than a dorky arrogant atheist.

  • @jjmouse9 I just wanted to let you know that I hate you. Thanks for being stupid, so I don't have to.

  • @sirterl Sounds like someone needs a tissue and a diaper. If this video is going to change your beliefs then you need serious counseling. I dont hate you , i just feel sorry for you that you are so easily misguided.

  • This was fucking awesome man thanks for the laugh!!!

  • Alien Zenu and thetan inhabiting ppl. Pathetic that ppl fall for this crock of shit.

  • Was that reply from your mouth, or your ass, because by the language I coudn't really tell the diference.

    If you want to have a conversation fine. If you want to rant like and idiot, I do't have time for stupid people.

    If you would like to discuss the supposed contradictions of the Bible in a civilized manner that's fine. However, if you think that you are making your point by calling Christians idots then forget it.

  • @pastortimlfc Christians *are* idiots, though. The problem is that not enough people call them on it, so they go on living their lives not realizing how ignorant they actually are, and end up doing a lot of stupid things that make everyone's day miserable.

  • WIN

  • Go Hanna!

  • has man even came close to creating life from scratch yet?

  • @RespectMyHate Yes.

  • @Newsish why are you lying?

  • @RespectMyHate No, and they never will.  Only a higher power with meaning can do that. All we can do is grow plants.

  • @jjmouse9 Thank you for that, its so nice to see somebody using thier brain.

  • lol?

  • @RespectMyHate Go to newscientist on the web and put dn16382 into the search box, read the article (it provides info to find the actual journal paper on the subject as well).

    You might be surprised.

  • @RespectMyHate Yes, we've shown that organic compounds can be made from inorganic gases thought to representative of the early earth (See Miller-Urey experiment, and more recent ones about simulating life arising from conditions found on moons of Jupiter). And more recently, Craig Venter's lab created synthetic, self replicating bacteria (from scratch). Before that, they created synthetic genomes and placed them in eggs that grew into functioning organisms. So yes, we have become god- Hallelujah

  • @sirterl The miller-urey experiment created tar, wasn't even close to life. Craig Venters created a form of life from pre existing life and all that shows is that it takes intelligence to create life. If you want to believe life formed millions of years ago by non intelligent process go right ahead.

  • @RespectMyHate Life didn't form millions of years ago; it formed billions of years ago. Just over three by current estimates (on earth, that is to say). I also said that the M-U experiment showed that organic components can form from non-organic, which is a very important step in showing life can occur spontaneously. Obviously you don't understand the concept of proof-of-principle. I will continue to believe in empirical fact, and you are free to go on being a dipshit.

  • @sirterl Life can't form spontaneously you bitch ass nigga.

  • @RespectMyHate Yes, it can. Your ignorance doesn't change facts. Since you've decided to be a racist bigot, I will no longer be responding. Either way, you are wasting my oxygen.

  • @sirterl Your a fucking retard, to me anybody can be a nigga, white, black mexican. And your a dumb ass because you think life can just arise by itself, this is pure foolishness. Any complex system needs planning and a mind behind it, including life why do you think scientist spend their entire careers trying to figure it out, and create life and they all fail. what makes you think it can do it by itself? oh because some man created tar in a laboratory, if he was that close why did he stop.

  • @RespectMyHate I take it you don't read the newspaper or watch the news?

  • @greyeyed123 The news lies to you, and you believe it, your a sad case.

  • @RespectMyHate who is "man"? i believe the correct term is "human's" and it would be "have".. and the answer is still yes.

    how many living beings help make up our full physical form? more then you know; that's an apparent educated guess.

  • he just summed up so many religious lies on the Bible all in 2 minutes - People READ YOUR BIBLE - If you have one, If you dont have a bible you better get one and protect like the Book of Elijah (I didnt see the movie yet, anyone can tell me how was it!)

  • Boy do you have a rude awakening...How strange that you would associate yourself with this "retarded" completely mindless idea of creationism but not believe the Bible.

  • @missyk127 OMG! This is a satire. It is a JOKE and really funny!

  • WHy don't most Scientologists acknowledge their God and Pimp?

  • Fucking idiot, Xenu was millions of years ago.

  • @raunchbear 75 Million, right? So...we have dinosaur bones from that period and we can retrace the geological history of that period...but no evidence of Xenu and his nuclear volcanoes. Do Scientologists REALLY buy this stuff? I just can't see it.

  • @angerdux8 They sure do. The same reason billions believe in Adam and Eve, Noah's ark, and that a bread-like wafer gets physically turned into Jesus Christ whenever the right person performs a certain ritual.

  • why do people believe in that crap?

  • Makes sense to me!!!

  • LOL someone enlighten me to wtf this is lol.

  • I'm suprise that they don't teach this in skwel. It makes so much sense..... I always thought that Jesus would return in a Taco, but Toast.... *mind is blown*

  • God comes in three forms: the father, the son and the holy toast.

  • Negate science. Argue about it on the internet.

  • fuckin' hilarious

  • HAY FUCKER that is a bunch of lies because NOTHING IS TRUE the people back then could be high like you ok so stop spreading you lies

  • weak.

  • Sin whispers to the wicked, deep within their hearts. They have no fear of God to restrain them. In their blind conceit, they cannot see how wicked they really are. Everything they say is crooked and deceitful. They refuse to act wisely or do what is good. (Psalms 36:1-3 NLT)

  • "The Bible is retarded" - Jesus

  • I can't speak for him, but I can say that I think the Bible is a good read and nothing more. It does not top my list of great reads, because its just a small piece of the puzzle of the entire world of cultures out there. So, really, I can't get offended by this guy. He's just voicing a silly opinion and I don't blame him. A talking snake and a woman made from a man's rib just as silly as land carried on a turtles back from an American Indian tribal myth..

  • @truvelocity Has the world forgotten the meaning of SATIRE? This vid is hilarious, smart and funny--he got in a poke at Scientology, too.

    The King James' version reads more beautifully than the modern Bible. Most of Biblical mythology comes from older sources. I like Joseph Campbell's approach to religious mythology--he is inclusive and finds inspiration everywhere.

  • Uh huh... My post was agreeing with him.

  • @truvelocity Yeah--I was thinking back on missy127...

  • @Newsish hahaha, yup.

  • @Newsish I definitely don't think he said that

  • @pastortimlfc Exactly no fear.

  • @pastortimlfc exodus21:20-21 leviticus20-9 numbers31:1-18 your bible is evil and oh yeh its fucking fuuuuulllll of contradictions and how did adam and eves kids have kids please tell me you actually dont beleive that shit

  • @pastortimlfc god is imaginary. what psalms has to say on the subject is completely unimportant.

  • @pastortimlfc "God" is nothing but a concept that exists in your imagination. Although your feelings of self-righteousness may give you pleasure, it is a hollow pleasure that the rational corner of your mind must ultimately hate yourself for entertaining since they are based entirely on unproven fantasy.

  • @pastortimlfc @pastortimlfc "God" is nothing but a concept that exists in your imagination. Although your feelings of self-righteousness may give you pleasure, it is a hollow pleasure that the rational corner of your mind must ultimately hate yourself for entertaining since they are based entirely on unproven fantasy.

  • @pastortimlfc @pastortimlfc "God" is nothing but a concept that exists in your imagination. Although your feelings of self-righteousness may give you pleasure, it is a hollow pleasure that the rational corner of your mind must ultimately hate yourself for entertaining since they are based entirely on unproven fantasy.

  • @pastortimlfc Are you talking about the corporate shit hoarding individualists and their mouthpieces in Washington?

  • lol good stuff

  • It certainly explains a lot :)

  • Grow up people. It's a joke. And besides, noone reallly knows the origins of the universe. Anybody who claims to know is trying to push their idealogies on you.

  • puke

  • Wonderful! Thank you.

    All hail Hannah Smith!

  • you are full of shit

  • P.J. O'Rourke would have hired you to do a presentation in The National Lampoon in 1974. Very well done, I could not have ridiculed the foibles of humanity much better. Thank you.

  • Where is the Hannah Smith clip from!? I must see this video! =D

  • no your story is not true fagot and lier

  • arrr you are gay yes gay because you are not true on your theory it sounds like you don't know about the whole truth you for got Lilith

  • I assume the half dead guy in the video response is in hell by now and his annoying laughter has finally stopped!!!!!

  • Was this story from the bible? It's almost as easy to believe...

  • I agree that can easily be its own religion

  • NO NO THAT IS NOT TRUE

  • It's pronounced "Laymanite", not "Lahmanite".

  • newsish you should try eating a little more gefiltefish,it might do wonders for your poor acting skills.....sucker

  • @JazzOmniscnti: Look at the bitter scientologist, acting like a antisemite.

    What a wonderful cult!

  • Hilarious.

  • Humor is so hard to develop from Xtian earmarks. Witness this witless dipshit!

  • hahahahaha

  • L Ron Hubbard had such a poor imagination he couldn't even imagine a future space craft so he made it look like a DC 8 from the 1960s. What a motherfucking moron. I cannot believe that people like T. Cruise are actually believing this kind of BULLSHIT!

  • I agree. However, how is Christianity, Hinduism, a chariot dragging the sun across the sky etc. any less ridiculous?

    I don't know if you're a theist or not, just making a point about.

  • Still religion might convey a metaphysical and philosophical message that gives meaning to the lives of a lot of people regardless if ti's true or not. Yet the Bible is not to be taken literally like many fundamentalists do. God certainly exists because we exist and made Him up in our minds... that makes him a relative truth rather than absolute (I personally believe there is no absolute truth at all).

  • @Elvikowsky hahah perfectly said!

  • @Elvikowsky its probably easier to ignore the cognitive dissonance when you have the kind of money to afford upper-level scientology

  • @Elvikowsky people will believe anyone with wealth backing.

  • Thanks God (well whatever) I'm not stupid, since I totally agree with you!! If you don't get a MASTER in history of mankind.... it won't be fair for progress - I will make sure that you get one, since you are one of the very few Americans that makes sense!! Keep it up dude!!

  • I will try to refrain from ridicule. However you come across as an idiot and second, do you know the definition of Entropy? Are you familiar that nearly a hundred microbial life forms existed for 3.4 Billion years prior to the Cambrian Life Explosion of which there are NO stratification point to or away from the sudden appearance of thousands of COMPLEX life forms? Darwinian Thought is STILL Theory and HAS NEVER BEEN PROVEN !!! Go back to School.

  • Which school exactly teaches that evolution hasn't been "proven"? Is that the same school that taught you that, in science, a "theory" is different from something that's been "proven"? Like the unproven theory of gravity or the unproven theory of electricity? Theoretically, you may want to call that school and ask for proof of credentials.

  • @Newsish or maybe a refund...

  • @Trip03ci So you are saying that the germ theory has also "not been proven?"

  • rofl!

  • HANA YOU BITCH! JK

  • lol

  • nah,not funny get laid

  • Most athiest persons say this theory: "The universe hasn't beginning and god doesn't exist". My question is: why or how the concept of the "starting/ending" works only with parts in the universe while it doesn't with the universe itself?!

    why do people die? so the animal?? etc..

  • kill the girl lol

  • dude... did you say noah parted the red sea? do you smoke crack on a daily basis or something? Or just think starbucks is the greatest thing since sex? lmfao

  • bug off and let the monkeys believe what they want...

  • i want to smoke a doobie with hannah

  • hahahaha i eblieve in god but this is just funny

  • I propose this theory be taught in schools alongside evolution, the Brahma theory, the cosmic sperm, and the sacred coconut.

  • Oh, and don't feel sorry for me for my not believing in god. Why don't you pray for me instead.  That's usually much more productive.

  • *sigh* That's what I was implying, Mr. Bunny. Your thesis only produced another circle. In fact I could have used the same statement to prove you otherwise that God exists. This argument will never end, no matter what kind of fallacy we produce from the other. That's why I said you only believe that God doesn't exist. Now if I didn't get it right that time could your all knowing atheistic mind enlighten my underdeveloped teenage theist mind 0_0 (I will pray for you by the way) :)

  • Okay, clearly you've run out of answers. The circular logic is yours, not mine. You are the one employing non sequitur, not me. I make a point, and you dance around it, ignore it, stick your fingers in your ears and sing, "la la la!".

    You have proven you have nothing compelling to say. You cannot answer a simple question without childish subterfuge.

    My theory? While I am far from all-knowing, YOUR theist mind is most certainly underdeveloped.

    You have proven one thing:

  • If god exists, his defense team is sorely lacking.

  • I wasn't trying to answer anything don't you see? I'm not trying to prove the existence of God I'm trying to disprove the first conjecture you made (prove a negative...) You can't do either and I'm sorry if I made an enemy in the process.... Truly you can not prove either it just makes hell for those who just want to keep their belief sacred to themselves. You want to be an atheist, fine! I want to be a believer, fine!

    I'm sorry you think less of me for my theism and my distaste for these rants

  • I'm going to ignore that whiny last sentence.

    If I thought of you as an "enemy" I would not be talking to you.

    Now. When you say, " ..I'm trying to disprove the first conjecture you made (prove a negative...)"

    What leads you to believe that "You can't prove a negative" is a conjecture?

    I would like to know whats going through your (and other theists) heads. It interests me because I consider religion to be a serious impediment to progress and the advancement and maintenance of our species.

  • Why do you think it's an impediment?(no really I'm trying to meet you half way)

  • what?

  • You will make the claim that you do exist but how do I know that and how do I know that you're not someone else...Your claim is man made, or is it? Since, if you don't exist, your claim is not valid for me So you only exist within your own mind. You're a negative easter bunny!!! JK

  • (You're the easter bunny by the way)

  • Moving on to the next logical fallacy then, are we? This one is called the Australia fallacy (unless you have been to Australia, in which case it is called the "Madagascar fallacy".

    Simple. Just because you can't SEE it, does not mean it does not exist.

    Honestly, Kshizzel. It would seem you are growing down, not up.

  • Sorry I didn't mean to make that claim Mr. Cottontail. What I meant was when you said you can disprove God the same way you do any other thing you view as mystical or improbable, by inference. You say that you can't disprove God because he exists in the 'minds' of those who believe on him. i.e the easter bunny. Your argument can be applied to anything so I said that you didn't exist you only reside within my mind or perhaps your own. By using the same logic I concluded that you are non existent>

  • I don't believe in imaginary people(or bunnies) so you don't exist. You say that you do but I don't believe that you do so you don't. YOU only believe that you do. (ps I know that you exist this is an example) It has nothing to do with seeing it has to do with believing. That logic would never hold up in a court room. Now I would understand that you don't believe in God and I'm sorry for that. It is just not a way to refute Him.

  • We're going in a circle. Whether you use the existance of the Easter Bunny, Madagascar, or even ME as the analogy, the fallacy is the same. You said, "Your argument can be applied to anything so I said that you didn't exist you only reside within my mind or perhaps your own. By using the same logic I concluded that you are non existent."

    Well, that's the same fallacy, Bub.

    You are attempting to polish a turd by simply renaming it.

  • you fun of scientologists. oh, tom cruise gonna geeet yooooo

  • i mean if you guys are so intellectual why cant you just agree to disagree

  • or videos making fun of christainity

  • this just proves my point that christian videos get like 2 or 3 stars and videos with evo get like 5 stars

  • This man is on to something... Is there no salvation in this story?! Oh NO!

  • I'm happy in my pants now, thanks.

  • I love this vid almost as much as I love cake.

  • Religion is stinking mess. it's because of religious opinion that a lot of Christians say the only ones going to heaven are Christians. If that's the case, their religion reeks of racism and nationalism (not surprising since Hebrews were warlike and xenophobic with a fascist theocracy ruled by a dictator-king) which would make their god a bigot. Big majority of Christians are European/American whites. African, Asiatic, and Pacific people are the main ones going to hell?

    watch?v=6gLDzDklTRU&NR

  • oh please people who are racists are not christains

  • No one in these sites ever have anything intelligent to say!!! All you guys ever do is exchange insults until one of you comes up with something better to say..Let the best yo-mama joke or an insult to intelligence decide the true meaning of the universe and the origin of life! This isn't MTV. CHRISTIANS!! This is no way to represent the truth, engage! Here atheists, I'll give you something to start with; If god does not exist, then prove it. Ah, you can't can you? Neither can we prove that...

  • he does. Now I'd like to know if you can refute this or not atheists. IS it more likely for God not to exist in this infinite universe? Can you prove it? Christians be ready with a counter argument...

  • Can you prove Leprechauns do not exist?

  • Aye! No lad I can't! And I've seen this argument more than once. You ask me if I can disprove leprechauns I say no and you feel that nice tingly feeling inside. But, wait! Can YOU disprove leprechauns?

  • No I can't! Thats the point. This is because it is impossible to PROVE A NEGATIVE. The burden of proof rests with the individual making the POSITIVE claim (E.G. "god exists").

    The reason you have seen this argument more than once is because it is an obvious rebuttal to your "you can't disprove god" argument, which is both tired and fallacious.

    No points for originality, I'm afraid. And...there's still no god.

  • Wow, good! You are a product of your mother and father, neither of which I have seen nor have I seen you. I have seen the fruits of you mind expressed through word however I have not heard you voice. How do I know you exist? Hmm Maybe you don't maybe words on this page are a product of probability or maybe what you have written is a product of my imagination. Maybe I'm crazy. Since I haven't seen you it doesn't mean you exist but it doesn't mean you don't either...

  • KKK

  • thats stupid....u belive in god u just dont know him as god....or yur a fool...

  • Take a dick out of your mouth and say something intelligible.

  • HAHA I love this video! Your a genius! A good one to pass on!

  • That was great, love how you worked in Snakes on a Plane.

  • What you just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard in my entire life. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.