Supervisor and Employee Relationships/Friendships

[InTheLifeOfAnArtist]

That's just me lol

[cfG21]

you mean likefrineds at work or outside of work?

[Nakkiastarr]

I was in a situation were I was friends with this person before I was her boss. She was even one of my bridesmaid in my wedding. I hired her as my assistant because I trusted her and I felt that she would be strong support for me, for the job at hand. This back fired because she formed clicks with other employees and started being negative. I understand that most bosses are not like by their employees. I know me I am mindful of my conduct and my words with my employees.

[trfrierson]

The difference between african americans in this situation is that we take advantage of having a friend as a supervisor, instead of knowing that at the end of the day you still have to do your job. She was not a friend in the first place she was an opportunist. A friend would understand thats your job and asking her to do her job DUHHHH is expected of her also.

[Ilikehismuscles]

That's r women r. Women supervisors have a hard time with women employees. Hate to say it, but it is true. I have worked in corporate america for over 15 years. Women r jealous,get mad if you don't speak, carry grudges, get in clicks, and talk 2 much about their personal business. That's why i prefer working with men. Men don't give a crap if you don't speak they could care less, but some women with positions...eeee..uuuu.

[bellapiggy207]

I'm in a similar situation except my friend/coworker became my supervisor. I have had some hairy situations with her, but in the end communication is key. If she was a true friend to you, it should have been business from 9 to 5 and friendship outside of work, but scenarios like this tends to put both parties in difficult and compromising situations...

[ttopcar]

..without gojng into too much detail, she took advantage of that for her own personal gain. Oh well. Sometimes you really can't mix Business with Pleasure.

[ttopcar]

You did nothing wrong and you did the best thing by just leaving it alone because if she's the type to think that she'll just get in good with the "Boss' and not have to do any work.you don't know what bag she might jump out of next ya dig. It is a fine line there and I had a similar experience with MY supervisor at a previous job. We became chummy but I still respected her as my "boss". However, she took advantage of the "friendship", knowing that I would go that xtra mile for her and...

[VMJakaThree]

You were a friend to her BUT she was NEVER your friend. Because if she were your friend she would have understood that you were doing your job and that is it on that one. Unfortunately, most folks are unable to successfully have that kind of relationship. Great vid!

[lovie2000]

Maybe she wanted to become friendly with you in the hope that she could get out doing most of her work. It doesn't matter how big the job was, she is an employee just like everyone else, friendship has nothing to do with doing your job. You can't lose your job at the risk of losing a friendship....she was wrong for reacting that way and for feeling whatever she felt. When u hold a position above the person that is your friend, tell them upfront that u have to do ur job in spite of ur friendship

[lovie2000]

It depends........some people don't need to mix business with pleasure.but a friendship could not be aproblem if you can seperate the two on the job.

[julbennes]

we still talk, but is mostly work stuff, and I think it is better that way.

One more thing, I believe you should have called her in your office and talk about it, ask her about her attitude, why she did it, and more if she did it when other people were present. It happened to someone in the military, the supervisor asked for something to be done, and the person just didn't want to do it, and answer something back, supervisor call him in the office and the person was removed, bad situation

[julbennes]

I totally understand what happened to you, because it happened to me, I wasn't a supervisor, the other person either, we just worked together and I really like (yes, I still like the person), but she felt b/c we had that relationship she could tell whatever was in her mind, and that happened one day, I decided to just be co-workers, not friends, it wasn't working for me, and it was affecting me. So, your friend was wrong, work is work and that comes first, everything else comes after that

[MzNeekie]

Your friendship should have enhanced your business relationship, but she allowed it to hinder it instead. She definitely should've handled that situation in a better way than that. This is why strong communication skills are the most desirable among companies. Instead of acting silly she could have expressed to you how she felt and you could have went from there. She created unnecessary tension between you. Not a good thing for any professional atmosphere. You were right, it was truly her loss.

[candiecc]

Thank you for this comment which is right on point! and it's truly a friendship that I miss if thats what it was? But thinking back about it she was immature anyway:(

[Imeraldgurl]

Hi Candie, I can only guess that for whatever reason, this girl felt shall we say "put upon" by your request...however, a mature person would have approached you and at the very least made the attempt to speak to you about the situation, if she felt so "put upon".

[nmitchell76]

HMMMMM< wonder who that could be???

[candiecc]

See there you go lmao! NOPE YO-_ _ _ _!

[cebujoe]

Regardless of occupation, this sometimes occurs. In the military; it's called fraternization and is frowned upon. An extreme example would be to hang out with your men at night, then tell them to put their life on the line the next morning. Thats an extreme example, I know, but does occur more often than you think. So unless you're dealing with someone mature enough to understand the difference between a professional relationship and 'off-duty'...it's best to stay clear of 'fraternization'

[ATLMicki]

Easier said then done. Sometimes you click with certain people in all situations. Sometime you fall in love with people you work with that are not your type, or you had know interest in, but you end up falling in love because ya'll click. Both parties have to be mature in the situation and understand that work is work and play is play.

[queenkyqtpie]

She was obviously never your friend.

[candiecc]

Yes tell me about it

[mayebella]

She made it a hell of a lot easier for you to cut her out (as a friend at least)

As much as there is hurt when someone stops speaking to you for whatever reasons, I take it as a) they were too childish/immature to confront the issue & b) they clearly have a different definition of what friendship means

And in that case, its best to just go your separate ways. At least there is no awkward confrontations, she made it easy for you to see the immaturity level & drop her like a bad habit!

[divat99]

As my Grandmother would say....Hepha Please. Go On with cho Games!! (LOL)

[candiecc]

LMAO!! I like that one:)

[RewritingMe]

I think you shouldn't befriend an employee, that is not to say you cannot be friendly, but as far as going out to lunch with in a friendly manner I don't think it is good. Because everyone doesn't understand the concept of your being a manager and what comes along with it. I know its hard, because I have been in the situation beore as a manager, but it is well worth it to stay your professional distance. Make friends on your leisure time.

[kswafer]

Wow Deja Vu...Same thing happened to me. We even got to the point where we would do things outside of the office with our husbands. The line between super and employee unfortunately shouldnt be crossed. It takes a real friend to be able to handle that. They only way I have seen this work is if they are your friend first. I am still her boss but we dont do things outside of the office anymore. She is a sweet person but it made things like yearly reviews really hard.

[ValerieLovezMe]

I completely agree, you were doing your job. I have many supervisors who i see as friends and even spend time outside of work with and i wouldnt blink an eye if they asked me to do something. i dont understand why she would even choose to jeapordize your friendship like that for a silly reason. It was definitely her loss cuz you seem like an amazing friend !!

[MimosaFun]

don't sweat it girl. if she had a problem with it she should have to talked to you about it. you don't need a friend like that.

[pyewacket60]

The Gallup organization asked more than eight million people to respond to the statement "My supervisor, or someone at work, seems to care about me as a person" and has found that people who agree with this statement: are more likely to stay with the organization, have more engaged customers and are more productive. All employees deserve a manager whom they can truly call a friend, or at least a manager who cares about their general well-being.

[PixiePeachPomme]

Ive been in a similar situation like this before except I was the employee & my friend was the Supivisor. We had worked together for a year and were great buddys.. But I always found that she could never completely relax and be your friend because she this idea in her head that she was 'the manager' and we were below her. And that she must always have autority even though we always treated her as if she had. it's tricky but i dont think you can be friends cause its never fun being ordered about.

[kentlandsfinest]

Love the earrings and make up is great too! I think you should pull her in the office and talk, use your communication skills. It sounds as though she was having a bad day and you were the one that received the lash from her. Being a supervisor has nothing to do with who you decide to befriend. If you think you are above the people that are under you then it will become a problem because you would put that attitude in the atmosphere. You seem like a very nice person. much love to you!

[BloodBoxing]

It will take two very mature individuals for this to work out sista......if you do become friends then a person might want special favors and thats never a good look because other employees notice it and that could also make an impact on how they perform...imagine if you keep asking the other people to do all the work how that would make them feel...she wasnt a real friend so she gotta go....oh yeah...how you take ghetto earrings and make it look so conservative.....lol....... :)

[candiecc]

See Blood there you go! LMBAO!! ghetto earrings OMG!! your so funny for real! lol!

[natacheen]

Don't even stress it, she wasn't a true friend, like the other subscribers said she had a motive. she probably thought since u 2 were friends she didn't have 2 do anything. Your job come first, I'm glad God let u c that she wasn't a true friend.

[nonchalant101]

And yes, I believe you can be "work" friends with your supervisor. At least mature people can! I'm real cool with mine and yet I am always mindful of our roles in office.

[rurealiam]

First off if a supervisor is asking you to do something, then that is a blessing, because they look at you as capable and responsible enough to take on additional task. seems to me she has a broke minded attitude which is seeing that they should only do their job and if something extra is asked of them, then they look at it as being picked on versus given an opportunity to show their worth.

you will never get promoted if you don't take on additional task, aka broke minded attitude

[boxerfancier]

Even as her boss, you have a right to ask her if there is a problem. I would have explained to her that even though I we are friends, you can not expect me to allow you to slide on your duties at work. After all the other employees could have complained about you showing favoritism, and I would have let her know that. Even if she complained of harassment, she would have to prove it. If she has a problem with authority, other supervisors would have already seen this attitude.

[MsBlackDiamond76]

Hi Candie I went through a similar situation where I was promoted and we were already friends. We still worked the same shift and I asked her to do a small task and lost her frienship over it. The bottom line is this you were right to not say anything. You have a job to protect. If she was truly a friend she certainly would have understood. I don't have that many friends either but when it comes down to funds in your pocket or a friend which do you choose?

[MySummerBelly]

If she was a true friend to you she would have gladly did it because YOU asked her to do it. If she took her job seriously she would have done it because she was seeking higher pay or greater responsibility. Say you got a promotion and recommended her for the position you left. She messed that up. It just sound\s to me like she befriended you with ulterior motives. Perhaps she thought the friendship came with perks like not having to take her position seriously. Look out for your best interest.

[cindyn2hair]

i havealways nurtured matters of the heart...and i personally believe that what God has for me is for me as far as jobs...children...cars...even friends...i would ask her outside of work and know that u also have a position of she befriended u also therefore its not harassment nor on the clok cause thats when and where you guys became as close as u were...life is short and i will demand closure especially if i grew to love her as a friend!

[roxie712]

She was wrong. Business is business. You were right not to approach her about it because who knows what her state of mind was. She wasn't a true friend. My supervisor is cool, and we can shoot the breeze, but I always respect her as my supervisor.

[BarrysDaughter]

I think you were unlucky there and your friend needs to grow up. I have been both the supervisor and the friend and never had a problem work is work and play is play :0)

xxxJoolsxxx

[kawright1005]

Candie, I agree with taking the Rhianna picture down. Mainly because who really knows if it is real or not so many things are floating around and you're right who really wants that type photo up about themselves. About the co-worker: She was what I call an opportunist, she wasn't a friend. It takes a special kind of person to be a friend in the workplace. She would have been happy to do whatever she was asked because that would make her and you look good if she were a friend. It's a shame.

[blklacquer]

this is hard situation, and i've been in something similar. I don''t think you did anything wrong. Did she think the task was menial or was it something no one likes them to do? I maybe would have gone to her as a friend later to ask why she wasn't speaking, but your job is your job, and you have to keep an equal balance. If she was truly a friend she would understand where you were coming from.

[HIMAY10NENCE]

We were talking about this remember?It's hard being a "boss" with you'r family and friends.......unfortunatly with black women it's hard to balance the two.We dont always take orders well from people who looks like us.

[RainCl0udx]

i guess it depends on what you asked her to do, maybe she felt like why would she want me to do this and not the other girls that was there...i'm guessing it was a job noone wanted to do, that's the only thing i could see that would make her feel betrayed or hurt... yea u should ask her, i would've helped u and her, whether ya'll became friends again or just colleagues

[cintdamua]

CANDY U WERE RIGHT! She was a HATER! and she had other issues with you, or she was just jealous! Girl dusk ur shoulder off! She probably misses the friendship and you, cause I'm sure u are a Gr8 friend!

[orangeapplecandy2009]

nice!

[mullins2day]

I understand what your saying.

She was WRONG! Unfourtainitly there are people out there that try to take ADVATAGE OF FRIENDSHIPS!!!!

I have had some employees that I considered friends after getting to know them, but I guess I have always had that hard sturn manager personiality. So they have always known that we could be cool, joke around and all that as long as they were doing their job. Business is ALWAYS first. :0)

[Candeebutterfly0401]

she was not a real friend.

[brownsuga102679]

im with you candy,she acted real immature,by you asking her, i would have took it as ok my gurl needs my help,and this is a job,this isnt high school-grow up and talk things over,you did the right thing by not bringing it up because it could have been ugly,i would say keep work as work,i dont know why women act the way they do,one day they are your friend,the next day they act like they dont know ya!

[LovelyTrueRed]

(Pt.2) Speaking with her in the office setting because it was work related would have been better (can we insubordination - friend or not). Just because you are friends and work together don't give you the HOOK UP. It's better you know the person she really is now instead of later. Like you said a true friend would spoken with you about this issue and moved on. I wish you all the best.

Lovely

[LovelyTrueRed]

(Pt.1) Hi Candie,

I know where you are coming from. I've had to deal with this issue as well. It is obvious she have the issue. Like my mama say business is business, treat it as such. It's not hard to have a work -friendship as long as the person know how seperate the two. Appoaching her privately about a company issue could have been a bad situation....being that she can't seperate work relationship from friendship.

[angelfields1976]

Because I have been put in the type of situation I do believe you always have to keep it separate because at the end of the day they will look out for them only.

[AbbeyXxXTabby]

if its her job to do it then she should have done it

i cant believe she stopped talking to u over that

[lucillesbabe9]

Candie, she was never your friend. A true friend respects you even in your position. I guess we all learn as we go.

[truwoman01]

about the rihanna picture i had a video up to and i took it down for the same exact reason as you. i felt guilty in a sense. two great minds think alike

[primadonnacami]

lol thats never a good thing

[xNeNAbabyy]

Chica you did the right thing. If she WAS a true friend, she would have understood the situation you were in. She's there to WORK. That's what they were paying her to do. The same way you were there to work and do what they paid you to do. When it comes to the work environment, everything has to stay professional FIRST and once that's out of the way then friendship/etcand that's possible that she didn't understand that. But to stop speaking JUST because of that shows serious lack of maturity.

[Lifesfun]

You should have asked her and the other individual who was also there to do something. Both should have been working. That would have been more pleasing to the individual and fair in total. But it's not really common to be friends with your employees. You have to keep it business.

[Go2GirlNetwork]

You have to pick your friends wisely. People that are selfish or negative, lazy and users; you can't connect with in an environment of business. She seem to be using you for special favors. You seem to be a driven person, success oriented and upwardly mobile, yet she appears to be less goal oriented. Always set up boundaries, spoken or unspoken. And it looks like you did it unspoken when you continued to remain professional. Good Job.

[Olette82]

I think the girl acted in a totally unprofessional way, not to mention that she ruined a possible good reference. I would be kind of wary of making friends with my supervisors, but like someone else said, friendships form naturally so if it happened I would just have to have enough sense to keep it professional. When my supervisors give me a lot of work I look at as they trust me to get the job done. To me that's a good thing.

[JESblankets]

i'm really good at seperating work and friendship.

It's not really related but once I got in trouble in my dorm room for Noise!! well my RA wrote me up... I was mad. And then no more than 15mins later she invited me to go hang out with her and a couple of people in the city....I said yes... cause rule are rules, a job is a job.... I totally agree with what you did.

That employee should know you are still the boss, if she was a true friend she would have been chill with your request.

[TheSharperWon]

Girl, let me tell you something...I will take my brother, mother, sister, daddy, friend, enemy, in-law, out-law to task & STILL LOVE them. We have to do what we have to do!!! Business is BUSINESS & sometimes you wear different hats at different times easily manuevering between the roles. That individual was not a FRIEND simply an associate. Better to find out sooner than later. A true friend would understand, laugh, get over it & move on! Keep on doing the right thing girl!!!

[mrsw02]

I dont think the workship relationships are good if your a supervisor. I say this for few reasons, one reason people might begin to say your showing favortism to the person your frends with. Which in some cases that is the truth. Also because some people dont know how to keep the too seperate work and friendship. I used to be like a back up for my supervisor if they had meetings or had to leave early I would step in.They think since your supervisor / friend they get to do less work.

[arinic7]

you did the right thing girl. later on that day ,if you wanted ,you could have pulled her aside and spoke to her about the situ...

[moeevehouston]

Hay Michigan girl. I believe you did the right thing. Because you don't want other people saying you are showing favor to the other girl. You had to treat all the same.

[WONDERFULLYMADE2009]

i think you did the right thing. its a shame that she did not know how to seperate her personal life from her proffessional life. u r better off without her. great v-log!

[7smartgrl]

U did the right thing. I was in the exact situiation before and the friendship ended b/c the friend was not mature enought o understand that I am getting paid to do waht the co. hired me for and that is not to play faves. One thing I have always demanded of myself as a leader is to be fair. I was fair meaning @ work everyone is held to the same standards. So I was like whatever, but then on the flip side I have a friend that I used to manage and we never had those problems.

[bearr7]

REAL TALK

[mxc31]

Oh and 1 more thing I understand your position because there is an employee friendship relationship between my sup and a co worker and I always find myself doing more work than her. She has no shame in beggin him daily to get out of daily job duties. He falls for every time.

[mxc31]

I really don't want to be devils advocate but someone has to do it. Maybe you should have talked to her outside of work, you never know what she was thinking and why she was thinking it. I mean why would she assume her job duties were over because u became friends? Did you cut her some slack after you guys became friends and later started to give orders again? She may have interpreted the situation in a totally different way. I think a ph call after hours to reach out would have been nice.

[ivonnejm]

Hi Candiecc, i think you did the right thing, i don't know why your friend reacted so negatively but as a supervisor you have to be able to tell employees what to do. She thought different obviously, i guess she thought she would have a favoured position? It's tricky i guess having employee/supervisor friendship, because the other has more 'power' and also because of the other employees, they might think you favour your friend. But i think you did the right thing with style! Have a great week!

[jroscoe86]

I worked in a place were there were friendships between employees and supervisors. Sometimes it does backfire and things go wrong. But sometimes you can hold on to the friendships with no problems.I think it just depends on the person you be friend.

[coffeechick760]

Cont.

and that was hard for both of us because of our friendship, but I understood she had a job to do and we are still friends to this day.

So I believe employees and supervisors can be friends if they are both willing to respect the other position, and not take it personal, she on the other hand doesn't sound like she was your friend but maybe using you to her advantage by being the "boss's friend" meant she didn't have to do any work, I don't think your missing anything with her.

[coffeechick760]

I'm good friends with a past supervisor, we were frinds before we worked togther, and I understood clearly that when we were on the clock she was my boss, and I made sure to give her that respect, even when times I wanted her to be my friend and not my boss, but we both took our roles seriously.

Even came a time when she had to let me go (thru no fault of my own) I was let go,

[454star454]

Hi, I believe you did the right thing. Your friend was not mature enough to understand that your were her boss FIRST, then her friend later.

[darlynasanford]

ia friends with my supervisor and at work she is my boss and I do what she ask of me because she is my boss first and my friend second and I don't want her to jeporadize her job and I am not going to risk mine. I think she was in it for benefits instead of friendship and she could have talked to you if she was offended

[scrumps101]

I deal with this often. and too have lost friends over this. If you were friendly outside of the workplace then pose questions to her after hours. However, if it were just a 9 to 5 friendship the priority is the job. As her manager you could let her know you feel some angst from her and let her know that you hope she understands that while at work, you are still her mngr. and to not take things personally. She'll either understand or she won't..Doesn't make it any easier tho.

[hille02]

And I'd also like to add that your friendship should NEVER include drinking and activities of that nature, like someone said below me ( I'm not saying that you did that, I'm just saying :) ). One of my supervisors goes out and drinks with one of my other coworkers and then comes to work the next morning talking about it and it always makes me cringe.

[Btubby21]

My supervisor and I are really good friends. We hang out ALL the time. She asks me to do tasks that everyone loathes to do ALL the time and I do them. I do them because A. it's my job and B. she is my friend. Plus our head boss sees me doing the task that everyone complains about doing without hesitation and I am up for a promotion for that reason. I think that if anything my friend/supervisor was preparing me to take her position because she is leaving our branch :(

[hille02]

Candie, she has deeper issues and this isn't your fault at all. I was good friends with someone who supervised me and she's asked me to do things all the time and I never got an attitude. It was her job to do so and it was my job to take direction from her. Neither one of us wanted to jeopardized our jobs...so all that was understood. You CAN have friendships in the workplace but both parties have to adult and professional so it's probably best if you don't because of situations like yours.

[hydeparkmac]

My opinion only. Keep work seperate from personal friendships. Don't go out and party with your co-workers because it will come back to you bite you on your ass. Keep socializing at a minimal. Limit drinking at them also. Because nothing like being the topic of conversation at the water cooler the next day.

[shon4christ]

Well my opinion is that she may have had different motives about your friendship from the start....I mean if I had a supervisor and we became friends, it still remains a fact that we are both required to do a job....soooooo.....me personally, I wouldnt have gotn offended with my "friend" telln me what to do....plus I wouldnt want the be the cause of my friend, (supervisor) getn reprimanded for not doing her job...and if that means telln me what to do, so be it!

[9961269]

it looks like she wanted friendship with you for the fringe benefits that she THOUGHT that she would have forming a bond with her superior...be glad you found out about her early on:(

[letinian]

i'm iffy about supervisor/employee relationships because i've seen what happens when they go bad...i do know of a supervisor who was so one sided with her relationship with an employee that she liked..she treated all the other employees terribly..many of the employees complained, but nothing was ever done about it...

[ushtenme]

Candie I think you did the professional thing to do in that situation. You handled it right for the right reasons.

[MichyGW]

Well, she was clearly not a friend. I have been friends with my pass supervisors and we are still friends to this day even though I don't work with them anymore. Also, my bestfriend and I worked together and she was also my supervisor at one point and that didn't affect our friendship. I respected her position and she did mine. So, it really depends on who a person is and their understanding of life and the many situations they my face and most importantly show respect.

[chrissismone]

I feel being friends in a business enviroment should not mix.I would only be close to those in my ranking..ie manager to manager or lower employee to lower employee.You should be friendly but extremely professional.Being friends with bosses can aid you but it can cause strife amogst those on your level.Its something to be very careful with because if I saw my boss get tanked I wouldnt be able to respect them anymore.

[Blkbderfly]

Oh, and she was dead wrong, and you should have given her a written warning for insubordination! LOL

[Blkbderfly]

Well...Candie...Human Resources is my field, and I coach managers/supervisors all the time about situations like this...supervisor/subordinate relationships should remain business only...in my opinion...because even if you don't end up in a "situation" with each other...you will have a hard time managing perceptions....other subordinates will draw their own conclusions about any and everything when they find out you and one of their peers have more than a professional relationship. Business 1st!

[yesinia]

I agree with Csmart01..110%. Favortism is what she was expecting and immature for not addressing the issue with you.

[towakeup]

I agree that it is very difficult and dicey to try to create friendships with people you supervise. You never know if they feel thay have a real choice in becoming friends, if they're not completely real because they don't want to offend their boss, etc. But my bottom line remains, that it would have been appropriate for you to approach her about her behavior, to see if any misunderstanding could be resolved, and to set expectations about keeping a respectful workplace. Peace.

[towakeup]

Any time an employee responds to another employee, supervisor or not, with attitude, smacking lips, and reduced communication, it deserves a discussion. By doing the things above, she could be creating an uncomfortable and even hostile work environment. It's not clear from your video if you assumed the reason she was upset, or if she made some comment to explain it a little. I wonder if her reaction was to something else, like how you approached her. Continued...

[MakeUpCrayZ81]

You were right and she was wrong for thinking that you would favor her over another employee..If your at work thats what your suppose to do, its not called work for no reason..So kudos to you cause you did just that WORK!

[classic209]

I think she was childish. Freindship does not mean free ride. It makes me wonder if she was as sincere as you were in the friendship to begin with. And you were very smart and right not to approach her due to your position.

[Csmart01]

Relationships at work are always difficult. In situations like this you have set ground rules and it must be a mutual agreement. It sounds like she expected favortism and was upset when it did not occur. I don't think she was wrong to get upset, maybe a bit immature not to resolve the issue.

[ytillman]

It depends on the person. I became best friends with my supervisor and we did have our ups and downs, we even stopped talking for a minute but we started talking back and we're still close but not as close as we were. But to me she should have came to you as a friend and told you what was on her mind about the situation and then you two could have talked about it. If you think she's that type to put in harrasement about it then she wasn't a friend to begin with if she's that petty.

[merriem24]

Being a friend to someone who is working "under" you is pretty risky. I became friends with my boss and we both treated each other differently because of our friendship. I was more prone to overreact to instructions given by him, not purposely, but simply because i I expressed myself more with him. He also, although he would never admitt it, called on me more for tasks because he felt more comfortable making me do something than another employee who he wasn't as familiar with. complicated.

[andrea20k]

I guess it depends on how you told her to do the task. Did you tell her to do it, or did you ask her. I get very offended when someone just barks orders at me, without them saying please or thank you. Whether your paying me to do the job or not, it's out of respect for another person. If you did ask in a nice way then you are not to blame. However I agree that superiors need to be active and friendly with their employee's, nothing makes me feel better than someone caring about me and my welfare.

[candiecc]

Oh I asked her she's my friend and I'm a very professional person! Now remember in the video I have stated several times that I really liked her:)

[LADILADY67]

I agree with Mascara. She was obviously not a friend because a friend wouldn't put you in a position to have to do anything other than what is normally expected of you as a supervisor. I am in the military and once you are promoted to a certain level you just can't maintain close friendships with people that work for you because it does cause a problem. The favortism, fraternization issue will sometimes raise its head and put the senior person in a bad light.

[anavywife28]

that girl had power struggle issues and it sounds like she was slightly thrown off in the brain dept, its a good thing shes out of your life because you are such a positive person and she sounds negative. You were right, she can't expect her workload responsibility to change just because shes an acquaintance of the supervisor... You win some and you lose some but that friend loss was not one I would lose sleep over and I am sure you didn't either. Good vlog!

[candiecc]

BINGO WE HAVE A WINNER!

[cokonice]

I agree with the whole negative/ positive statement. I had me one those and we just split up after six whole years (could you believe that?). She was just too negative and wanted others to be down as long as she is down. I couldnt deal with it anymore

[tsfitzpa]

My current supervisor and I have known each other since we were five (28 years). We USED to be very good friends, and were even roommates. Now, we speak, but there's no love there at all. In your situation, it's not about right or wrong, it just is what it is. It is serial. Both of you can be considered "right". You did what you were supposed to, and maybe she realized that she couldn't handle being employee and friend, so she made a decision. Don't let it bug you. So not worth it.

[macface2adore]

Oh Candie! How many times have I been in this situation? So many. You did nothing wrong. Several diff people this happened with, but one very notorious situation. She didn't like that I was giving her instruction and having to correct her re: incorrect loan files, many mistakes, not compliant for the audits, etc. She actually made up terrible rumors on me, one being that I had been inappropriate with a male in our office. Oh no, SHE was the one seeing this married man in his management position.

[kbaby1221]

Continued.. I personally had become friends with my supervisor (some time back). But, I knew how to easily separate work from friendship.. when it came down to doing my job--It was understood that it was nothing personal--but what i was suppose to do anyway-what i was hired for. And outside of work, we could yet relate on a friendship level. But, unfortunately, not everyone knows how to separate the two and end up getting a little too sensitive then they should be

[tssexychanel]

You know that just really burned me up maybe I should have made a video response as bad as the economy has been and jobs are hard to come by. Its easier to get another friend than a job what was she thinking. LOL

[kbaby1221]

Candiecc: It doesn't appear to me personally that you did anything wrong. I would agree that I think it's best when an employer/supervisor and employee strictly keep it on a professional/non-personal or frienship level. I think that when friendships in those types of situations develop it is easier for the employee to take things personally and not be able to separate friendship from professional/work. But, then again, it depends on the type of employee/person as well.

[KissOfLyfe]

IMO, I don't think there's anything wrong with supervisors and subordinates being friends...however, if that's gonna happen. All parties involved should have a clear understanding of what is expected during and after working hours. I think you handled the situation correctly...sounds like she wasn't mature enought to handle it.

[kokofemme]

Well, I do think that she was wrong in how she acted towards you b/c it was obvious that you were her boss. I do feel however, that you should have went to her and cleared the air and checked her at the same time. I'm not saying you should have pulled her to the side at work but maybe called her to find out why she acted that way and what your expectations were. I mean, look at Regina and Lavita....they managed to work it out (smile).

~kokofemme~

[tssexychanel]

Those earrings are everything I live.

Wow someone with tact not willing to do what ever to get a few thousand youtube views. This is why I will forever be subbed to you a  woman of true character.

and that cow was never your friend she was looking at you as a commodity your real friends will understand business but as a supervisor you have to worry about peoples reasons for befriending you. She saw it as beneficial.

[candiecc]

1. Loving the phrase " Are everything I live! only a Diva!

2. Thank you Tssexychanel! you were the only one that noticed so far:) and I thank you for that...mauh

3. LMSBAO!@ Cow! yeah she was never a friend if something so small could pull us apart:( how sad is that?

[tssexychanel]

exactly what I was thinking I could see if it was something out of the job description she did you a favor showing her true colors so you didnt have to invest years in someone so ingenuine.

[onlyonesimone]

hey candie! she was definitely wrong because a true friend wouldn't put you in that position. i went through a similar situation. i dont see anything wrong with friendships between superiors and subordinates if both people can handle it and understand that work is work. great vid!

[cokonice]

Aww man, i take so long to comment that 13 go to comment first :( not first anymore

[cokonice]

If she has to have work done thats it, get it done. No you should not have approched her because if she was a real friend after work she could have called an said "you know what girl, i kinda felt XYZ about today lets talk"

[cokonice]

Oo yay me first to comment

Your hair looks real pretty!

I love your eye shadow...

I have that shirt in light brown...

I love your earrings too...

When's the next contest?

Anyway, lol now to the topic of the video. I can see how she would get offended but thats wrong. She should know thats its a buisness first enviornment. She's not signing your pay check so its a little selfish of her to assume that you would just make her life easy...

[candiecc]

1. Okay you were first! LMAO!

2. Thank you sweetness

3. Why thank you the tutorials up for it:)

4. Cool we should hang out together with them on! We would so ROCK!

5. Yeah I like the big ones

6. I have been thinking about it! it's so many going on out here now:(

7. You could see how she could get offended? explain?

[cokonice]

Well if i put myself in her shoes i gues she would think (depending on your ton i guess) "she's picking on me" because out of the two you picked her (i dont know why, i lke to play devils advocate sometimes). I still think it made no sense though... You guys are still at work she should expect work.

[candiecc]

Gotcha girl!

[pUraVidaNY87]

wat about exes being friends?

[candiecc]

That's a whole new video! lol!

[divamcdiva]

When you spend the majority of your time around the same people it is natural that friendships will develop. I believe that this lady didn't understand your work ethics and was under the impression that because you guys were friends that is was going to be easy street. I think that work friendships are fine, but work boundaries have to be set . You can't assume that the other person is on the same page. Be Blessed Sis!

[utopiad4]

Divamcdia: That Was Well Said!

[candiecc]

Yes you are correct with spending time and also with developing personal one's too! I see that a lot!

Yes your right you just can't assume!

Thank you for this comment!

[utopiad4]

I felt like she was saying forget me and my store and basically saying the hell with me. So I fired her. We are still friends and we got through it because we are women an REAL friends.

[candiecc]

Wish it was the same way with me and her:) because I really like talking with her as friends:(

[utopiad4]

And I'm surprised she acted like that since you guys became friends After the fact. You were not even friends before. So I don't know what her problem is. By this person being my best friend I knew her work pattern. She was never late for work, but wanted to come to my store late almost every day. And when that got out of hand I told her over and over about being late. So I came to the realization that I am going to have to fire her.

[mssmia14]

I think this is a hard question because people are so funny. A supervisor/employee relationship can work if everything is discussed as far as the work relationship. You can't take for granted that your work ethics is your employee's work ethic. She was dead wrong and that's probably why most supervisor/manager's don't form relationships outside of work with their employees.

Great topic, thanks for sharing!

[candiecc]

That's why I don't socialize with my employee's, where I am now, going out to after work affairs....too many crazy things has happened.

[MOCHADEVIL83]

that is a sticky sitution. im a freindly person and its hard not to joke around with everyone. but then they feel as if the should get speical treatment since we are cool. i've had to have a nice but serious conversation, just to clear any misconceptions. i do feel you should have said something. at least you would have a better understanding why she acted like that. and maybe work it out if it was worth it.

[utopiad4]

Yes, it can get in the way sometimes. With me having a clothing store for 7 years I hired my bestfriend and at times it became a difficult thing keeping business separate from personal, but most of the time it worked. HOWEVER, I will not do that anymore. Once she did not work for me anymore I refused to have her back or any other friends. It is easier if they mess up to deal with NON friends.

[efuhktual]

she was definitely in the wrong for acting like that. regardless of your friendship she still has a job that needs to be done and if she going to half ass it then she should quit

[jackeetm]

I am a manager of a department with a large company and I only have 1 person who reports to me. She and I have become very good friends, but we have a certain level of respect for each other and what our job responsibilities are. I ask her to do things all the time and have never gotten attitude. It's a touchy subject....I think your friend was out of line and unprofessional. She should have shown respect for you.

[efuhktual]

first off your hair and earrings are dope. i have a friend that was a manager that i am still friends with. you just have to make sure that you guys are on the same level and understanding.

[mascarawhore08]

You didn't lose a friend...if she was a friend she wouldn't have acted that way. Not only that but what if you asked her to do something as a friend (such as a favor) would she have been a good friend or would have just acted out??

[alm619]

It takes mature individuals to understand this type of friendship

The important word here is "mature" because its business first and fun afterwards in this type of friendship

[candiecc]

Yes yes yes! That's my point! she didn't have a problem before with me telling her what to do! it's all about maturity!

[pinkpornstar1]

I just wanna read the comments on this one. Good Topic

[candiecc]

Yeah me too!

[MOCHADEVIL83]

you did the right thing with that rihanna picture. she so young. to have this all over the world is hurtful and embarassing.

[candiecc]

Thank you! I was just thinking if it were me I would not want that picture out of me:(