Added: 1 year ago
From: RobNorthampton
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  • Magnum P.I. idol Thom Selleck is that you ? idol .. ;-)

  • i dunno how to meet gays,I dont really like clubs as they are too loud lol and I'd just rather hav a 1 on 1 conversation with some1, and online is just generally perverts who want u to be their slave or wotever. . . .plus I dont even know if I am gay : S

  • @BananaSandwich1 Whichever gender turns you on is usually a good indication. If it's either, you could be bisexual. One good site I found recently is RealJock.com if you just want to chat with other guys. Their blurb reads: "The original RealJock Chat. Video/audio available for verified members only. Keep your pants on, fellas. Video chatting is allowed in RealJock Chat, but no nudity or sex acts allowed. This is a great place to chat with other gay guys." And it's free to join too!

    Good luck!

  • (Whilst sex is great with the right person, not everyone is into sex for the sake of it. Choose wisely in a chatroom and it's possible to find someone genuine. I did, and he's still with me 10 years on :-) )

  • HOW OLD ARE YOU?

  • @ninjascroll6789 I'm as old as my hair and a little older than my teeth.

  • get a backbone is my advice if anyone hates gays, 1st try to explain things to them and change their stone age opinions and if that doesnt work, fuck em, reject them they are scum and should be dead to you until they change their minds, i dont give a fuck if people dont like me for it, they can suck my dick [so to speak lol]

  • Why aren't you my dad! ^.^

  • @parkourDrew4745619 LOL Thanks. I'll take that as a compliment. I'm certainly OLD enough to be a dad. Probably a grandad too, but I try not to think about that! I'm still a big kid myself at heart. :-)

  • He's normal, but lives in a society where there is this stereotype of what is gay and people are in fear of discrimination. Positive gay models hide that they are gay.

  • @truvelocity You could be right, or it could just be that they go unnoticed. I am gay, but unless the situation arises where I need to tell someone, being gay is not the first thing I tell new people when I am introduced to them. That is not to say that I am hiding the fact - it just sometimes doesn't come up.

  • I'm 21 and I'm attracted tomuscular men in their 40's and 50's :-)

  • @phantomsuccour And I'm sure that men in their 40s and 50s are all over you like a rash! :-D

    Purely by chance, my bf for the last nine years is 24 years my junior, proving that age is not the key issue, but rather the two people involved in a relationship. I wish you well, and hope you find honest guys who won't jerk you around just because you are younger.

  • @RobNorthampton Thank you, I'm actually with someone who is 29 years older than me, we have been together for 2 months now and I love him. He's really kind and considerate, to mention but a few. I think I just love how mature and certain of himself he seems. It's funny because even 6 months ago if you asked me if I would date anyone who was even 10 years older than me, I would have said no!! But I would have missed out on meeting this great man. 9 years!!! wow!! That is amazing! Any advice?

  • @phantomsuccour As with any relationship, it's all about the give and take. Don't let silly arguments turn into major rows, share the chores as well as the joys, and above all, communicate! If something is niggling you, bring it into the open. If you can discuss anything and everything with your partner - both the positives and the negatives, you'll soon find it's plain sailing all the way. I wish you both the best of luck! :-)

  • @RobNorthampton Thank you very much :-)

  • I'm gonna order a rugby shirt from sportsdirect and then seduce the delivery man, but only if he looks butch. lol

    The Kooga Harlequins is my fave!! ;-)

  • @SteeveeStrange Good idea, Steve! My fave is the cute one who says, "Your place or mine?" :-D x

  • thank you rob as always your video clips are a pleasure to watch . very informative and well thought out !!!! being gay is just one aspect of my life , but a very important part !!!!! to your own self be true !!!!! i just wish when i was 18 i could have gotten this type of advice from other gay men !!!! thank you very much

  • @bearcub410 Sorry I didn't reply before now. I must have missed the email. Thanks very much for your continued support! :-) x

  • well done Rob for making these vids, it good for young gay people or even older gay people to to hear a man like yourself tell your story and giving advise, im sure it a real help for their internal struggle to allow themselves to be themselves

    its a shame it couldnt be organized for ALL gay people to come out on the same day, that way straight people would find themselve surrounded by gays and just have to get used to it.

    Good man

  • @TheLunarmonkey Thanks very much! The lad I speak of in this video is from the UK, so as much as we like to think that we have become a more accepting society in this country (certainly more than America with its religious obsession), there is still an undercurrent of homophobia that manages to seep into the minds of kids growing up with differing sexualities. It kindles within some of them a self-hatred that is as life-sapping as any outward homophobic comments. We progress, but oh so slowly.

  • I like your webface btw. Good likeness :-)

  • @WyldeCards @WyldeCards Thanks very much, Steve. Society may slowly be getting better in its acceptance, but individual families can still sometimes make it tough for youngsters to come out. Then if they have an ounce of bisexuality thrown in too, it can be very confusing for them.

    I've heard of the Second Coming, but never the Second Coming Out. Would you have to be gayer than the first time? :-D

  • Great advice, Rob! Dating is just like that for everyone... Finding the right one usually only happens after meeting and dating a few wrong ones.

  • @fehquig It can certainly sometimes feel like finding your way through a maze, Andy. There can be a lot of dead ends before we find the right route. :-)

  • @RobNorthhampton I'll tell you! I don't think anything like that will happen. It'll be during one of my next breaks. I'm doing alot of things and I'm busy :-(

  • Hi Rob. I've followed you for a LONG time. I thought it would be nice if you knew, I'm going on my first date soon :)

  • @coolsteven2 Wow, I'm so happy for you Steven! I hope you have a great time! Don't forget to write to me with all the gory details!

    Well, maybe not *all*!

    I do have an imagination ;-)

  • You give such good advice, it almost makes me want to go gay! LOL! Wait.... WTF?? You're GAY, Rob? shit. :D

  • @AncientAtheist LOL Thanks John! Me gay? Nooo - I'm just not the type! Let's just say I'm a man's man!

    ;-)

  • As a hetero could i add a bit of matter to the standing. "Not particularly attracted to females?" No straight person is, they're only attracted to the reproductive parts and not the person. I am more attracted to males in regards due to the common bond in likeness and mirrored brain function. I couldn't stand having a woman as a friend, but male friends are much needed! I can very much see the attraction towards, i yearn for male friends more often than non, i only yearn for female

  • @strikenetter reproductive organs. Be it condescending or sexist towards the realization and attraction that the female genitalia is more attractive to me than the woman herself, so be it! I could find more comfort on a daily basis regarding a male partner than a female. " Opposites attract? " Not for me!

    PS. This statement is potent and truthful except regardilng my wife of course! lol.

  • @strikenetter What a brilliant and honest comment to make! I have heard similar stuff said to me in hushed tones at work :-)

    It makes perfect sense to me, but I'm obviously not in a position to verify! You'd better give your wife an extra hug and kiss tonight just to keep your karma on the level! LOL!

  • Get well soon Rob and keep up the words of wisdom.

    Your fan in North Carolina

  • @mchlboy Thank you very much, Michael! I hope you're well and happy! :-)

  • Hope your recovery speeds up and you are feeling A-OK real soon, Rob. :)

  • @whistonlass Thank you, Jacquie! It becomes very tiresome and wearing after so long. I think a 3rd visit to the doctor may trigger a visit to hospital for the TV camera up the schnozz and saline flush treatment. I don't care so long as I can get rid of it! :-)

  • @RobNorthampton That does sound nasty although I realize, having suffered from sinus problems myself, it is sometimes the only answer. As you say....as long as you can be rid of the pain and symptoms. x

  • Hope your infection gets better! Thanks as well for this! loving the comment about going through frogs to get to the prince lol ;)

  • @imnotsure14able It's true enough, Haydn. I think I kissed so many frogs, (and froggettes) it's a wonder I don't have warts!

    ;-)

  • @RobNorthampton Hahah yes rob you fuking animal!!

  • What a lovely video for you to make. I love how you talk about having to come out to yourself. It's so true. Coming out to yourself is sometimes the hardest part...

  • @ItalianStallionette Thank you for watching, Gina! Wouldn't it be great if kids could grow up and not have to wrangle over their sexuality, just because it's still treated as something bad? We can but hope that future generations will never have to endure such bullshit, and are able to accept themselves from the get-go.

  • I think that INTERNET is just so f*in AWESOME also in this case, because even if you can't find someone to fit your personality in your area, with internet you can search all continents. And also you can find out easier what type of men/women you are into by watching videos of different kinds ;)

    This vid is like 'Dear Buck'.

    (They should pay you for that mug advert:)

    <3

  • @dooshahn Thanks for the great comment! It's all true. The world has become a much smaller place since the advent of the internet! :-)

    I had to check 'Dear Buck', because I hadn't seen it before. Now I realise It's Michael Buckley. He's a true pro on YT. I wish I was a penny behind him! :-D

    I hadn't thought about my mug advertising, but you're right. Come on, SportsDirect! Pay up! LOL

  • good video.......... I think that for everyone who writes to you a great many more are also helped simply by being able to listen to you......keep up the good work

    ps. I suffer with my sinuses too

  • @RobLeepopart Thanks very much, Rob! Still working hard? :-) I just seem to work, eat and sleep these days! It's all I can do to keep the wolves from the door, so my YouTubing has taken a back seat, unfortunately. I just don't have the time to watch, rate and comment like I used to do. :(

    These sinuses are a real pain, aren't they? [sniff]

  • thanks and yeah tht is pretty much it...i hav known now to accept him for who he is

  • I have always had a problem with the way the Media presents gays, especially gay men. They were the original African Americans. If there was a gay person in a movie, you knew he was either going to die or be the killer. As I recall, even in Fannie Flagg's "Fried Green Tomatoes," the gay guy died. Will of "Will and Grace" was one of the first normal gay men on TV (of course the actor, himself, isn't gay). But they had to counter his character with that awful Jack (who is gay in real life).

  • @Perroquet51 Never a truer word spoken, Marc! It was kind of understandable 30 years ago, because the gay movement was still in its infancy, and people were not so well educated about equality. Now that they are, what's the excuse? We are still taking the pratfalls and custard pies in the face!

  • Hey Rob,

    Very nice video as always, But everything you said has happened to 95% of all young gay men. But i'm happy to say my first frog was my prince :P.... Thank god :P

  • @reardon1983 I'm really happy that things worked out so well for you, Ian. It's true enough that we all have to face up to the personal demons implanted within us by a hetero-geared society. It just takes some longer than others to come to terms with. :-)

  • You are a very kind and inspirational man Rob! Not only did you take the time to reply but you did it in such a great way so that others can take advice from what you had to say. I think YOU are a very positive role modle for gay people everywhere. You are down to earth and very encouraging. Great video, great message, great guy!

    -Tom

  • @TomSawyerLush Excellent comment.

  • @TomSawyerLush Wow, thanks Tom! I don't know that I deserve such a glowing comment, but it's very nice of you to write it! Tell me stuff like that, and I won't get my head through the door! Thanks again :-D

  • I think it's hilarious how so many straight acting young gay men think they are going start acting a bit camp and effeminate after they come out the closet.

    If you're gay and manly then just be yourself. The screaming queens will think you're straight anyway and you'll eventually meet more manly guys just like yourself!

  • @SteeveeStrange Good advice, Steve! I have seen the odd phenomenon you describe, and always wondered why they do it. It's almost as if they see it as a rite of passage and a need to adapt in order to fit in! Just "Be yourself" is the best thing anyone can do, if they want to be taken seriously, or if they hope to attract a partner.

  • Was it just me, or when you listed gay stereotypes, did you forget to mention show tunes, referring to everyone as 'girlfriend' and, ironically, enjoying female company more than straight men...

    Sweeping generalisations are funny aren't they?

  • @0mniaV1nc1t I'm sure I missed a few other negative, yet absolutely hilarious qualities about gay people, but I'm sure I'll tune in to another TV program soon that will remind me ;-)

  • @RobNorthampton Yes, because all parts of the human experience can be portrayed adequately in terms of one-dimensional stereotypes. Is there some sort of points system? A list of 'gay' things where you tot up your score and then find out whether or not you're 'a bit of a fruit' ;-)

  • Good to see you back Rob :)

  • @0mniaV1nc1t Thanks very much! And thanks for dropping by! :-)

  • I absolutely despise how homosexuals are portrayed as so 1 dimensional in the media. That's the good about YouTube and other social network sites though. Young people can now see that the gay "community" is as varied as any other.

  • @tattooskin72 True enough! And I like the fact you put the word "community" in inverted commas. Another misconception is that there actually is a community somewhere where we all meet up, no doubt to plot the next wave of attack on the "Gay Agenda"! If there is an agenda, I've never been told about it, except maybe one where everyone is treated equally, regardless of skin tone, sexuality, gender, age, or shoe size! :-D

  • I used to think I was homophobic and hated gays, having not known any except for the ones on Queer Eye for the Straight Guy and Will and Grace, until my friend came out. He remained the mellow, softly spoken guy that he always had been. It was then that I realised that I wasn't homophobic, I just hated the camp Carson-like guys. But then again anyone who is outrageously superficial, shallow and loud pisses me off, male or female. Now I know better than to assume gay men are like that.

  • @cheshirecat1212 Thanks for the great comment! I'm with you on that score. If someone is naturally effeminate, there's nothing they can do about it, but for the ones who as you say, are loud and shallow, I would always give them a wide berth! I'm pleased that your friend helped broaden your experience. The more of us regular, boring, everyday guys who just happen to be gay, and are not afraid to stand up and be counted, the better it is to help people realise that we are not weird and exotic :-)

  • @cheshirecat1212 I agree with you on the type of gays the Media dumps on us. Although, in spite of his camp, Carson isn't as shallow as one might think.

  • I wish someone had told me such wise words when I was young. Thank you again for a great video. And good luck with those sinuses!

  • @tenneral Thank you very much, Michael! I'm not far behind you, in that I had no guidance on how to proceed as a gay teenager. It's true that these days there are so many more places that kids can seek advice, but it doesn't necessarily help with their own self-doubts and worries. It's a steep learning curve after always thinking you're straight and then after puberty the realisation slowly dawns that you have to follow a different path.

  • What a great video Rob..

    well done :-)

  • @twish1999 Thanks Trish. I was half-asleep when I filmed it, and still snuffly, so it's not one I want to revisit too much, but I thought it was the best way to get my message over to the young guy. He has written back already, and I think that after a day of serious thought, he is getting used to the idea. Worrying too much about what other people might think can hold back a person for sometimes years before they begin to feel happy in their own skin. I know. I was that person! :-D

  • Rob,

    Was wondering if you have any expertise in the following predicament...I seem to only be attracted to straight men. I met this great guy the other night who is flawless as far as looks go, we've got a great connection but I'm not attracted to him and I think its because he's gay. There's probably a lot of truth to the saying, 'you only chase what you can't have.' There's this straight guy in my class and he's not exactly a looker but I cant stop thinking about him...(sexually).

    Best

  • @FastMovinTrain I don't think there's anything unusual about it. I used to feel the same way when I was younger, and there are still some straight friends I fancy even now. As you say, I think there's an added kick to the idea of getting off with someone who is unattainable. Never say never, but you could be setting yourself up for a lifelong challenge and a lot of heartache if you only ever chase straight guys. I've been there, done that and cried all over my own T-shirt! :-D

  • But don't give up hope! They may be few and far between, but there will be gay guys who rock your boat just as much as Mr Untouchable in your class. Just bide your time, and you'll be cuddling up to Mr Right before you know it. Good luck! :-)

  • I just wrote a journal entry about this topic earlier today on the bus from school...I myself could have written that same letter. In my entry today I wrote that, even if I were to find myself in a relationship with another male, the heterosexual conventions that society beats over our heads would me feel as though my relationship wouldn't pan out 'normal'. Why would anyhow? I've never been normal any...in retrospect I guess every relationship has its hurdles.

  • @FastMovinTrain It's never easy going against the majority, but it's sometimes essential to find your own sense of self-worth and happiness. Whoever we hook up with is entirely our own business. If two consenting adults are happy together, it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks. We have to live our own lives. :-)

  • @RobNorthampton Rob you're a blessing. These words will save me from future heartaches. Maybe I shouldn't be so quick to dismiss this guy who I have a great connection with just because he's gay. Thank you. You're a mentor to me. There's no one in my life I can ask these questions to. Have a great day :) I hope you get better :)

  • I am attracted to females not males but i agreed with everything you've said i kno a gay guy who i am frends with but wen i found out he was gay i kinda neglected him but just recently i hav accepted his sexuality

  • @Geurilla123 Thanks for that. Your friend is the same person you liked before. The only difference is that now you know something new about him :-D

  • lol I'm trying to imagine you with a wife and 2.4 kids.... so difficult :-P

    For me I'm completely accepting of my sexuality now... have no issue with it, it's no big deal. However, while I know my family love me, I also know they would probably have some issues with it, so for the time being I figure they don't need to know... lol. All my friends know Im gay, and they're awesome. That's all that matters to me.

  • I have some really awesome gay friends online (including you :-P) and offline, but I stay away from "the scene" (such as it is) in my city. It's horribly cliquey, catty, and bitchy... and there's really only one gay club. been there a few times and unless you're into that type of thing, it's not much fun. But I don't care... It's good to have some gay friends i can relate to, but i dont feel like I need to be surrounded only by gay people. :-)

  • @Sikosm As the saying goes, Stas, it's "Horses for Courses". Gay clubs are not for everyone, and not all gay clubs are the same. In some cities, there are quiet pubs, piano bars and restaurants where the less clubby people can go and chill out.

    I'm certainly not surrounded by gay people. Most of my friends are straight, but I am already attached. For people still looking, I think gay dating sites and social networking sites can open doors to new people

    :-)

  • @Sikosm You have found your niche for the time being, and I'm happy that you're happy, Stas. I'm sure when the time comes for you to come out, it will probably be much less of an issue for you than you once thought it would be. :-)

  • @RobNorthampton Lol rob... in a way i feel like i have already "come out"... perhaps not to my parents, but iv come out to myself, and iv come out to my friends... not exactly totally hidden :-P And I'm glad you don't have a wife and kids cos I don't want you miserable! :-)

  • @Sikosm Anyway! I could do the wife and kids thing! We'd be one big, unhappy family, but so what? There's plenty more of those out there! :-D

  • Very true, Rob. I had the same feelings when I was younger than 18, but as you know, things were a bit different with my parents. :-) Good video.

  • @TeenTwinkTween Thanks Justin! We were the lucky ones :-)

    I'm just home for a break, then back to it! :(

  • Rob I want to tell you I'm a big fan of your videos, the one about all the good things about being gay inspired me to be more accepting of who I am (I know this sounds super cliche and cheesy lol), thank you!

  • @CAYOMluver Hi and thanks very much! I don't think your comment is clichéd or cheesy, by the way. I'm all for people feeling happy in their own skin. :-)

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