Eddie Izzard Explains How Not to Invade Russia

[KristoffDoe]

The Great Defender of Mother Russia - General Winter! :)

[markunas1997]

just bribe the russians with VODKA..... a unrefusable offer

[oyenko40]

well even if you make is past russia being cold...they still fucking torch everything so ya don't really win anything >.>

[Stolanis]

The problem with invading Russia is that there's WAAAY too much of it - you can't annex it in one summer and have done with, and it's always the winters that get you.

No - what you've got to do is wait for the right weather conditions, then steam in and take a *slice* of Russia. Consolidate your position there, create a bulkhead and wait out the winter (with LOTS of heaters), so that when spring comes 'round next time you're ready and raring to go again.

Anyone have a spare army for me...?

[TheCheshireCat86]

As far as mongolians were concerned that was before Russia, during the times when Russia's modern territory was occupied by numerous scattered slavic dukedoms later unified into one Russia (Novgorod dukedom, Kiev dukedom, Moscow dukedom (Moscovia back then) etc). They were precursors of modern Russia , but not Russia itself, just like separate states were precursors of USA but not USA itself, and often were colonies of separate countries: Louisiana-France, Texas - Spain, Massachusetts - UK etc.

[miyonheart]

You left the best part out of this clip. that Hittler never played Risk

[KameSama77]

Hey I have that graph. cool beans!

[slonomen]

wtf is wrong with you people?!? No one ever has beaten Russia, it wasn't tie ever, everbody who tried was fuc... up by cold weather...and AUSTRALIANS certainly didn't invaded Russia... Jesus, what do they teach in schools???Christ...

[kaelim888]

@slonomen The Russians have been beaten in the 20th century several times but your right, they weren't conquered were they? The Mongols did have their nasty way with them centuries ago though.

[slonomen]

@kaelim888 Ye, they were beaten in few battles, even Hitler came all the way to Moscow, but we all know what happened in the end... And when Mongolians ruled there was no Russians, there where Slavens and that doesn't count... One people that are crazier then russians are Mongolians, in their time of course... Advice to everybody, a little more time spending on Discovery History Chanel, if you didn't learn that stuff in school...

[kaelim888]

@slonomen Your right ofcourse. Modern Russia was never conquered. But i'd just like to say Russia was beaten in the first world war. They surrendered to the Germans so they're not invulnerable. Also, the history channel's great! lol

[TheCheshireCat86]

@kaelim888

(1)

What are you smoking?

They didn't surrender, they signed peace treaty, which in layman's terms is a DRAW. It was mutual surrender so to say. Russia lost no territory and paid no reparations to Germany. Neither did Germany.

[kaelim888]

@TheCheshireCat86 Smoking? Nah mate your crazy. The Russians leaving the war was by no means mutual. They crumbled. Huge losses in life and an economy that couldn't handle the scale of the war. The treaty of Brest-Litovsk lost Russia huge amounts of territory like Parts of Poland, Finland and the Baltic states. Why would you give up so much land unless your enemy? Russia only got that territory back because Germany lost the war.

[TheCheshireCat86]

@kaelim888 (2)

Plus, it was right after the revolution, commies didn't want to have their hands tied with that war because they were busy fighting Tsar's generals who were scattered with their respective armies across the empire and wanted to reinstate the monarchy, also commies were busy suppressing numerous civilian anti-communist rebellions across the state. Reds had to much on their plate and were busy trying to hold the power within the state from their opposition.

[TheCheshireCat86]

@kaelim888

(3)

If not for the revolution russians would not have withdrawn from the war.

Plus some evidence suggests that the whole revolution thing was partially financed by the kaiser (german king) and partially by international bankers. Everyone had their share of interest in that.

[Teebonemendez]

I think the Australians tried to invade Russia as well.

[NeutralityChecker]

@Teebonemendez: No, they didn't, although the Mongols were the most successful in invading Russia (noting that they attacked from the east).

[Loolarn]

sweden tried to invade russia too.. :>

[strikersnemesis]

according to wikipedia it was a tie!

:)

[BelleHarrisonVids]

wikipedia is unreliable

[holidaysinsweden]

...and actually got the farthest! Not that that's much to be proud of...

[TWEC21]

not as famously though

[Nemoxgirl]

yeah but we had the same idea as Napoleon and Hitler. =P

[Bikutolu]

Had the same result though, even though we are a bit more used to cold weather =)

[MrBadguy2008]

it's funny

but the video show the french ivason in russa in 1816 under napoleon bonaparte ;)

[quicksilvervideo]

he's funny yes but this video is crap

[TheSwornAvenger]

Oooh, it's a bit cold; it's a bit cold!

[ploop408]

so true

[syntheticdesire101]

LMAO.

wow, I love this man. His skit of Star wars Cantina was amazing...

And he's SO right about this.

[Rosefilms]

This is so fucking true!

[JasonLMAO]

Lol Hes too right

[SkydanceShinigami]

I love that man.

[SkydanceShinigami]

God, I love him... HE'S SO DAMN FUNNY!!!

[billny33]

hey what was the name of the show Izzard said this in? I know it was Escape From... something.

[badharvz]

its dress to kill...very funny

[chewwbear]

I agree with DarkGypsy.

[TheDarkGypsy]

Aww.. You should have kept Eddie on there. I love how he can run in those heels!

[lilyz81]

haha yeah! thast awesome :D