Pt.1: Coming Out GAY. Standing STRONG (Loft XVA 43)

[Goin2Back]

teasings are nothing.....I went through 8 years of peer isolation, teasing nonstop, and yet I graduated with honors and today I am stronger than ever. I didn't let other people's preconceived notions affect how exactly I saw myself. You don't have to be outgoing to turn out normal, I was far from outgoing....

[datboichrisEST1985]

Love it Xem

[LeeJayJr]

this is a powerful video. Thank you for this. Im so serious!

[1blessedbrotha]

My brother, I feel you completely, your story caused me to ache deep inside, cause all i wanna know is why i like dudes, something that has only brought me pain and rejection. My father and I don't have any type of relationship, his animosity towards me is unreal, and because of this i grieve.

[1blessedbrotha]

my story is a lot like yours, no one accepted me, I endured the taunts, teasing, and secret sex. After never finding fulfillment in the gay world, I have resigned myself to being single, and have went back to my church, which is very tolerant to it's gay membership. I only feel safe alone, so I don't date, flirt, etc. This way I can be hurt or used anymore. After all the prayer, fasting, etc.. the gay isn't going away, so the only thing i know to do is to go on thru this life alone.

[Komplakaydid]

YOU ARE SO AMAZING XEMMY!!!!



[ipsobond21]

nice vid.....

1 little thing though, Sankofa is a African proverb; Ghanaian to be exact! Swahili?!? Um, not so much.....

[finally0726]

Satan, I resist you!

[finally0726]

I don't agree w/ the homosexual lifestyle. However, I love everyone. I was deceived by a DL brother. I have a son, therefore; I believe he was trying to prey on my son. But, thank God I taught my son at a young age, what was inappropriate touching. I believe homosexual touching is lust not love. That's my opinion.

[stillgrow]

Statics show that the majority of people who molest children identify as Str8 men, so please educate yourself. I also find it funny how people who have never been homosexual feel they're in a position to state what being homosexual is. Allow people who actually are gay to educate you about what being homosexual means. You have no clue what you're talking about. We have 2 ears and 1 mouth to listen twice as much as we speak. That's just my opinion.

[finally0726]

@stillgrow, what did my comment have anything to do with the response you gave. I notice that most homosexuals are always trying to tear women down and debate w/ them. I dated a DL brother, and "had" a open confessed homosexual cousin, as well as DL relatives. I am very concerned about my son being around gays ,the DL bros I encountered, prey of young boys. So, I am not going to go back in forth with you, which may eventually lead to you calling me some foul name. So save the comments.

[stillgrow]

It sounds like you have bitterness within yourself regarding the fact that you had a boyfriend who turned out to be gay. I have no desire to call you out of your name, I didn't curse once in my response message to you. Your situation with the dl guy is unfortunate but you shouldn't judge the entire gay community based on the actions of one or a few bad apples. I"m 33, I've lived long enough to know that cursing back and forth with a person gets you know where. I'm simply trying to educate.

[stillgrow]

It sounds like you have bitterness within yourself regarding the fact that you had a boyfriend who turned out to be gay. I have no desire to call you out of your name, I didn't curse once in my response message to you. Your situation with the dl guy is unfortunate but you shouldn't judge the entire gay community based on the actions of one or a few bad apples. I"m 33, I've lived long enough to know that cursing back and forth with a person gets you no where. I'm simply trying to educate.

[SecretStache90]

Its hard for me to accept me right now, i envy all of you that have came out. This is starting to affect me more than i imagined and im so lost right now. 20 years old and never been in a true relationship because of this. I feel like my whole life is being wasted.

[edgeowl]

Xem YOU HAVE BROUGHT ME TO TEARS and I have come across your story of coming out by chance. I feel like we walked down the same path when it comes to accepting our true sexuality but you played it even better! I too,by chance, did not accept my homosexuality till my freshmen year at Temple University and was still timid to let others know. I felt as if I had the scarlett letter branded on every aspect of me, but as time when on I dropped the "bi" title and am very happy to be gay! You are great!

[marquisewiley]

Very Great Video and Message!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Endivisual]

when i reailzed i was a lesbian, it was after 6th grade..

and ppl always told me that it was too early for me to know or that i was too young to know

but i guess im not the only one

[crossworlds1]

This video, this story is so strong .NICE!!!

[JTTCAVALLiE]

AS TEARz fALL FR0M My EYEz iKNOW tHAT EVERy THiNG YOUR SAYiNG iS SO TRUE i CAME OUt iN SEPt Of 08 AND MY FATHER TOOK iT VERy HARd AS WELL! BUt MOSt PARENTS TRULy THiNK THAT WE WANT TO BE THiS WAY WHEN THATz NOT THE CASE iTS A FEELiNG WE HAVE NO CONTROL OVER AND SOMTHiNG GOD WiLL HAFt TO HELP US WiTH AS iNDiViDUALS BUt i TRULy FEEL YOU ON My BEHAFt!!! KEEP UP THE GOOd WORK :-)

[DeShonDeShon]

This is not only courageous but also inspiring..this will definitely help others that may be struggling with being "out".

[jonvcan]

You truly have a gift with words and articulation. I thoroughly enjoy listening to you speak and this is the first video of yours I have had the pleasure of viewing. Thank-you for making this video. You had me in tears at one point. On to watch part 2!

[PrinceBasil]

First let me say that I didn't get a chance to see the whole video. My iPod's battery died & shut off but I wanted to say that you're an amazing person. I only got see that bit. I haven't watched any others only because I just "met" you. But I'm gay too & I know what you were going through. I'm still going through that myself. I hope that I can get to know you better because you're the type of person I'd like to be friends with. Take care.

[PatManCool12]

I'd just like the say that I'm going through the darkness that you're speaking of. Now I see that someone went through what I'm going through right now. I'm very touched by your story.

[milomaliciouz]

u have nice style

[gnata]

So the fact that you put your sexuality before your culture ( I've seen 4 of your vids) says that you can't help the african revolution no more as your father cherished it (as a panafricanist) ... well It's sad for us because you seems articulated and educated .

[RossclartRETROGRADE]

i feel as though any culture should adapt to any person from any walk of life. everyone has a way of helping a culture to grow, whether they be of other race, age or sexuality. Xem has an astonishing way with words, and if you choose to overlook his sexuality he could definitely guide you through hard times, as he has with me. He has talent, no denying it.

[gnata]

Well,all his vids are about his sexuality, there is no place there for his culture and I understand that, cause I can imagine it's not easy to be a black gay in this homophobic world.

He can be gay and promote his panafricanism in his ways but all through his vids I ain't see such things, and I still think that it's a waist cause as you said the guy is good with words...

[mizfield]

I feel you so much. I am struggling with being in love with a girl yet working in the ministry. I told my mom and she cried and said no. I denied my feelings. I joke about possibly being a lesbian so that it can ease her mind yet I connect with a female on all levels and seem to attract females when I do not mean to.

[ShawnQt]

me and you are very much alike, we should talk... powerful video.

[TheOfficialAshPage]

i'm def subscribing! You are truly an inspiration!

[xMxYxSxTxIxKxAxLx]

omg i can relate to u so bad and i kno wut u were feeling i wish i could be as strong as u

[leinzaP]

You are so beautiful and brave!~ Stay strong and inspirational

[KINGLaMagicSING]

hey i got yo back i like the intro and yo african dad is tight because i dance to gospel african song but i sing r/b hip hop any cuzin did the same thing

[millionairntrng12]

Xem, amazing as usual. Your production is always top notch. You really need to be in television and on the radio!

[ckylu1]

I'm impressed by your transparency and vocal nature. If only we had more people like you!!!!

[Pebblies01]

Wow, Thanks for confirming things that are present in my life. thank you, I just had this conversation last night. Bless it Be.

[iPodTouchAppMan]

i respect u but are u bi or just gay?

[lovelyti2002]

you are so passionate i love they way you speak.

[LUXURY713]



[pluto17dre]

hello mr. adams,

i applaud you for transparency, dont take this the wrong way, I PERSONALLY DONT AGREE WITH A HOMOSEXUAL LIFESTYLE, but I LOVE EVERYONE, and DO NOT JUDGE....please know that i love and support you with the LOVE OF CHRIST...and that i will support and not condemn you NO MATTER WHAT...KEEP IT UP

[kerrian1960]

pluto17dre, What a shame you had to spoil your message by writing that you do not agree with the perfectly natural homosexual lifestyle, your message is not pure in its content and is not unconditional.

[pluto17dre]

well i just wanted him to know that i supported him with his decisions...there are always gonna be disagreements about something. i think that my comment was necessary because people like his father have condemned him like he was UNHUMAN.....i was raised to NEVER JUDGE and to love everyone. I MYSELF STRUGGLED WITH THESE FEELINGS WHEN I WAS IN MIDDLE SCHOOL because i was molested multiple times by my stepbro. but MY MESSAGE IS PURE...im not trying to BURN MR. ADAMS AT THE STAKE, like some others

[kerrian1960]

its just a shame that you had to spew out that you dont agree with our "lifestyle" as you put it. Dont you realise it isnt a life style it is being true to our selves.

[ShaniqueB26]

Happy Be-lated birthday Mr. Van Adams..

This is a great video..

Since i've been watching your videos from day one.. i had total respect for you .. and support your videos..

Your doing a really good job..

[Jouri21]

I always did have complete respect for ya ever since you did that "Mother's love your Sons" video. This just shows how much stronger, wiser, and more beautiful you have become and matured as well. Keep it up boi!

[JayJuBo]

thanks for sharing this

[ICANMAKUWET]

You should write a book...your story could possibly inspire others who are dealing with the same issues that you dealt with...

[Sanginknight11]

Very nice video Xem....I have to commend you, you are very courageous. I wish I could be that open with my Parents, but they would probably disown me....I'ma just pray on it. But on a lighter note, Happy Birthday!!

[Xone7]

Happy Birthday Xem!!!!

[chicbella84]

great video

[keemy18]

awesome

[PERFECTLYanonymous1]

what is that music in the background, its so moving, it really adds to your story. I need that music?

[MelkzStardust12]

Happy Birthday Mr. Van Adams. Keep being you, you have such clarity and such presence. I love your videos. :-)

[XemVanAdams]

ALL of You are so Incredibly AMAZING and SUPPORTIVE.

PLEASE Watch PART TWO, which is ATTACHED as a Video Response to this Project.

PART TWO is only garnering 50% Viewership, and the Issues I discuss in PART TWO are as Important; and More DETAILED, as well...

PLEASE SHARE these Videos, PARTS ONE and TWO with EVERYONE you know; Literally.

I Dont Care, particularly, about RATINGS.

I Do, However, want the Project VIEWED, Globally.

THANKYOU SO MUCH for embracing My Stories.

[PERFECTLYanonymous1]

(omg cry cry cry cry tears are falling down my eyes. I am so CRYING RIGHT NOW. and that music in the background isnt making it any better, Scary, Powerful. Bold. Beautiful) and charismatic.

[tennislover08]

That post id so true Xem because your videos are always so good to watch they are most definitely full of quality. This is a great story so far can't wait to hear the rest

[durrell807]

Happy Birthday!.... You are an Aquarius!?!?!?!.... I appreciate you that much more now!

[eli769]

happy b-day!

[jankins24]

Happy Birthday, man! I so enjoy you posts. Keep doing what you do!

Blessings

[tymurren5]

Happy Birthday Xem!!

Andmay you enjoy many many more..

i love this video..even at the very end the

"quality-vs-quantity" part. that is so tru..im trying to take a page from your book when it comes to that..HBD!!

[ilovemakeup456]

happy birthday your absolutely gorgeous and hope alll is well xx

[bigdezol]

Happy birthday luv!

[DG1107]

Happy B-day, Mr. Xem!

[parrishrturner]

Happy Birthday sir

[sproker]

I love your eloquence!

[jaeh33]

This video is great. THANKS FOR POSTING THIS.....CANT WAIT FOR PART II

[mharr147]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY Xem

So many similarities...yet so many differences.

I CAN RELATE!

[L302009]

Happy Bday Xem!!!!...and I can totally relate to your story

[TaureanRuler]

great vid.....whats the name of the song u used to edit ur vid?

[slimtrain]

happy birthday my dude.. my God add years to your life and life to your years... I thought..I was the only one who did a self reflection about their life .. im not alone ..... great are ahead for you... reach and grab it

[DaleJrFan1119]

Happy b-day, Xem

[YoBoiNewnue]

Happy Birthday, see you soon

[urnightromeo]

Happy Birthday Xem!!! ;-)

[ThaRock90]

Happy Bday love this video

[ewingboyz]

Happy Birthday!!!!!

[sfcalvinaz]

Wow.......this really touched me. Thanks so much.

Hugz!

Calvin

[johnnieboyupt504]

Well That Video Was Projected To Me XEM! I Chuckle With Joy, And A Brilliant Heart Of Love! U Are Inherited By The Best Parents Yet Minds Aren't Successful As Yours Are!

[nvncyble]

Happy Birthday!

[melancholyguy]

Happy birthday, Xem.

Now I don't wanna squeeze too hard but here's an intensely loving hug for you!

[Backatwon]

alright Sankofa ........cool I have a carved copy on my media room wall ......that could be a video in itself ......always good to hear and see you man ...one of the best "you-tubers" out there !!

[sexidemon]

beautiful videos and happy b-day

[chrismarc207]

Thanks for sharing

[terrencenixon07]

very good video...and happy b-day Xem!!!

[chicrealness]

I HOPE U ENJOY YOUR BIRTHDAY XEM!

[TRLCONNECTTV]

This is a very strong video. This has really touched me very deeply. I encourage everybody to watch this video and save it in your favorites and #1 video of the month.

[nonpareil313]

may your voice never know silence and may it always resound loud as the roaring sea Xem!!! much luv to you and Happy B-day!!!

[kimberlykeyosha]

This is a very, very, very heartfelt and emotional video. You're a wonderful speaker and you seem to be able to be a great role model for young gay males. Good luck to you & Happy Birthday.

[H8RbyN8URE]

Those damn RA's !!! They're always the culprit.  lol

[iSTaRbeO]

HAPPi BDAY XEM!

[Greenterror]

nyce video

[DigitalNinjaBoi08]

Hah, man youre just awesome, yeah my bro is gay and im sorta bi(IDK) so yeah youre awesome dude dude

[taevon24]

Happy Birthday Xem

[jayizmee]

Oh yea your bday is tomorrow!!!! Happy Bday Xemvanadams, you are such a blessing to the gay community you are a voice to many and I am loving what you are doing!!! Lots Of Lub ♥♥~jAy~♥♥

[d3lyishere2012]

First Comment WOO HOO!!

Xem. . . sir you are an inspiration to me and to all gay and bisexual black men. . . I have the utmost respect for you. . . and HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!