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From: BipolarStateofBeing
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  • Ah yeah, I understand with reading, and especially going to the store. Grocery store, uh well, I begin trying to think of what I want, and just I have no clue, and half of the time I honestly can not make up my mind or anything. I am very indecisive, over thinking and so on. I know how it goes, and then half the time I feel as if part of me is missing. I have schizophrenia btw, paranoid type. Currently on Invega, but yeah life sucks.

  • @disrotten Ah and grocery lists, I'm good with those, much better, but yeah, I think it's the decisions.

  • i feel the same thing on risperidone. i have like not motivation and just what you are saying.

  • As you know I was awful on this, I've just stopped this drug and am trying another one now. I do know what you mean about being tired of trying med after med...but for me the alternative..no meds I wouldn't like to imagine.

  • Just got put on risperdal It makes the voices quite which is good but everythings in a fog and i think it's making me more depressed I'd rather hear imaginary voices then feel like this all the time the side effects r scaring me to death to Eh life just seems to to always be so sad

  • gunna cry. i am shitting bricks because everyone around me is telling me i need to get on medicine because of my recent heightened manias. I get paid for my creativity and if I'm not creative I will be professionally finished. but then again I keep telling VPs to fuck off at a major corporation which has same effect. I'm really scared. I'm a pretty stoic guy and so I'm opening up. i need to get help but i don't no what to do. I hate shrinks and medicine. Wish I was never born right now.

  • Will deprenyl effective for enhancing cognitive functioning like working memory, concentration, energy, interest, motivation, drive?

  • I felt astronished to hear a new bipolar disorder - bipolar 3. The doctor said it is in case if mania results from antidepressants. Also said we don't give medications to treat it neither lithium or risperidone. Risperidone is given only in case psychotic features are present. Simply go off antidepressants. But my idiotic and foolishly smart psychiatrist of past used risperidone to counter drug induced mania. I think those doctors should be injected risperidone, lithium forcibly.

  • I think American people are clever in researching and experimenting with potent drugs. They do with smart drugs, neurotrophics, brain boosters, performance enhancing drugs, hormones and lots of this sort in vogue. Also they are quite knowledgeable about drugs its pharmacology and biochemistry. They challenge even doctors when they fail.

  • My 16 y.o. daughter had lots of problems on risperidol. Finally switched to Seraquel taken at bedtime, and seems to be much better for her. She also takes a small dose of Adderal to help with concentration, which has worked wonders, especially for school. Thanks for your videos, they help me to understand my daughter much better. Best wishes to you.

  • @creamofcrop55 do you believe that antidepressants can cause damage to the brain? and if so are these damages reversable?

  • i don't like risperdal

  • Where are u from.. You have the same accent as my teacher... You actually have the same voice as her too.

  • Do a jobby.

  • has bad sexual side effects for men... Im sure it causes headaches for female as men after an orgasm

  • I think it's a combination of the illness and the medicine. I too feel like blaise. I used to be a high achieving person. And now the passion due to this medication has all been taken out. If I go off the medicine then I lose my mind, but being on the medication takes me into the land of mediocrity. Being on the medication I am able to take care of my responsibilities such as caring for my son and holding a job. Downside is the intrinsic motivation I had to be at high level in life has faded.

  • feel normal without meds

  • I thank you for this. It really helps

  • risperdal has certain side effects,i was on the risperdal injection a year ago.

    the main thing i started to notice was the amount of weight and body fat i was gaining.

    i have managed to lose most of the body fat.

    I am currently on haldol injection,and it works better than my former medication.

  • @creamofcrop55 I also had the problem with high prolactin levels which is one of the main reasons I went off of it. My doctor said normal levels are like 30 or something and mine were 150.

  • @BipolarStateofBeing orthomolecular healing try it! research it but be careful make sure you go to the right doctor

  • Curing Depression, Anxiety and Panic Disorder DVD $39.95 (DRUGFREE!)

    Watch it via amazon for $15 I however recommend you buy it so you can share it.

    In this authoritative healthcare documentary video / DVD, Burton Goldberg, the author of 18 books on alternative medicine, takes you on a tour of clinics that are achieving great success treating depression, anxiety and panic disorders without antidepressant medications.

  • I think if someone has mania and is socially aware (and self aware)....they can avoid acting like a complete maniac around other people and ending up hospitalized......

  • I couldnt watch sitcoms.....another reason i went off them....i catch watch sitcoms again :)

  • school work on anti psychotics? I couldnt read when i was on them......that was one of my reasons for going of them.....I can read again

  • cont. I usually just sit in bed all day as like u my energy always feels zapped and yes me enthusiasm is there it's just physically and well mentally I can't get going till about 10-11 o clock am :( and then don't usually fall asleep till 11 pm - 1 am.

  • I'm the same hun! I'm taking Risperidone 2 eg. me going into a store I also get overwhelmed by all the people and all the choices, it's too much 4 me!. which is a shame as I love shopping! and it dampens the experience it dampens virtually every experience I have in life.. cont next post.

  • y let jewtube comments affect u? A dog could have typed em

  • Look I love you both but you need to stop going along with the system. The drugs from doctors are evil just smoke bud lots of bud and grow it.. smoking an oz a day is expensive if ur paying cash for it. God bless both of you I am sorry. I hope you don't have to go through hell to get to heaven.

  • HOW THE FUCK WAS MY COMMENT DIRECTED AT NINE INCH NAILS STICK EM IN YOUR EYE LIDS BY THE WAY YOU 2 ARE CLINICLY RETARDED BECUZ IT WAS NOT

  • ur fuked loser crawl ina hole and die

  • @matthockleeyvictoria Hey buddy your a pathetic loser

  • @NineInchNails25 I hope you don't have to go through hell to get to heaven. Sincerely I really do that goes for every person that ever lived

  • @matthockleeyvictoria That's messed up to say to someone reaching out for help. whats wrong with you. What if you were going through hell like he is talking about. Remember Like my name Karma is a bitch. I don't think I have ever read a nastier comment on youtube ever. Don't put your pearls in front of swine for them to be crushed. Your the swine. Apologize to NineinchNails before God get's you.

  • It sounds like to me your experiencing dearealization. Living like your in a fog. Does anybody know if pychosis is reversible. I am 25 years old. I was on xanax for 7 years, and when I got off I have been suffering from severe dearealization. Also I have horrible amnesia. I wake up every day not knowing where the hell I am. I don't want to live anymore. Someone help!

  • do you try exercising? I know it sounds very obvious, but exercise can be the best form of medicine. just make sure u don't over do it because putting too much strain on the body when on certain medications is dangerous. I would consult with your doctor and ask he or she about engaging in over strenuous activities with the medicines u r on.

  • my original problem OCD, depression multiplied into ADHd, dyslexia, memory disturbance. But ocd is still continuing.

  • peaked anger. Lithium was given and it had spiraling down effect. Result was it caused dyslexia, memory lapses. All those effects are still continuing and am disabled. I am tired and sick of conventional or allopathic medicine. What is your view regarding alternative medicine in my situation? Is it worth seeking it?

  • @Indianshitt I can't really say. I've never tried alternative treatments so I have no idea. Some people think they work while others don't. I guess it wouldn't hurt to try.

  • Do you have any suggestions regarding my situation? I initially had OCD and did well on fluoxetin clonazapam. But mania resulted characterised by high energy, processing speed. Now comes dark moments of my life when risperidone 3mg was given. Slow movements, ADHD, low working memory, slow processing speed, inability to speak out freely no more outspoken. Then i was given clomipramin that gave rise to racing thoughts, ...

  • how did you become bipolar? Did any doctor give you any other diagnosis other than bipolar? How many doctors have you seen?

  • So is the reason for your tapering off olanzapine that your illness is cured? What activities are you engaged these days - studying or working? If so are you able to carryout those tasks efficiently in better manner following olanzapine treatment?

  • @Indianshitt No I don't believe I am "cured" I don't believe I ever will be "cured". Bipolar is a lifelong illness. I simply want to see how well I will do without meds and if I can cope well without them.

  • I had to stop taking Risperdal because it would make me a zombie. Legit it would put me to sleep and then I would be knocked out for days. Unable to focus, keep my eyes open. It was like I was there but not there. I physically couldn't focus or stay awake.

  • it is the psychiatrist who is deemed to be expert in his field to meticulously carryout his job so that one would expect no side-effect thus we entrust our life or health to him. It is like fence grazing the farm. It is said professional advice outweighs advice of most caring and well-intentioned friend. No one can be better friend than himself. So is harm in the hands of psychiatrist and in the hands of ourselves comparable?

  • Do you think cause of psychiatric ailment can't be found out or difficult to find out.

    What is your view why certain medication works on someone while not on others within same class of drug like SSRI or AAP while rest harms? How to find ones lucky drug other than hit or trial? Is it universally true that if disease and medication doesn't match then no effect from drug instead side-effect?

  • @Indianshitt I think if anyone knew why one med works and another does not then we would be much further along in our understanding. Unfortunately we still are quite primitive when it comes to understanding mental illness. We have to do the best we can with what we have.

  • I suppose your original problem wasn't that severe than the ill-effects due to medications as you have told about effect of risperidone, lithium and olanzapine no you. Is it correct or am i wrong?

    What about focussing ability, working memory, processing speed? Were they originally fine?

  • @Indianshitt Um, no....I wasn't fine to start with, otherwise I never would have began meds.

  • As you are saying you are tapering off the meds it seems you are not happy, contended or satisfied with any medication - olanzapine or risperidone, having no marked benefits.

    Lithium too was drug you had pronounced side-effects. So dislike it. 0

    what was your original problem like? And current conditions?

    Within one year you discontinued risperidone and Lithium?

  • @Indianshitt I wasn't happy with most of the meds I tried before zyprexa. However zyprexa worked very well and I was quite happy with it. It doesn't have anything to do really with the reason I want to go off of my meds...I haven't been unhappy with the zyprexa.

  • its one of the worse drugs they ever prescribed to me, if anything it heighten the anxiety,and did have an affect of constant, zombie unable to eat ,dosent kill brain function maybe was lucky my nervous system was doing it best to protect itself from rat poison we talking 24 or nearly 24 hours a day for those lucky enough never to have been a guinea pig,was a job getting to loo,or trying get the kettle on,totally made me worse,they usually give another drug olanzapine to give you an appetite

  • what is your view regarding investigating and finding the biochemical cause of psychiatric illness and biochemical intervention? Being in the united states you are exposed to all such scientific advancements. Have you ever taken lithium? Any experience w that drug? You are saying fedup trying one medication after another.

  • @Indianshitt Yes I've tried lithium. It did not work for me and in fact made me feel very sick. So I didn't take it for long. This video is very old, from like a year ago so I have been on the same med, zyprexa for the last year.

  • how are you doing with olanzapine? You say you are doing excellently with olanzapine. How is it helping you- on what issues and aspects? What are your expectations or goals from drug or treatment? Are you more depressed or maniac? Were your originally able to focus on tasks before risperidone? Are you inclined to go off drugs? What is your opinion regarding targetted administering therapeutic drug based on SELECTING them using rEEG? Have you come across orthomolecular or functional psychiatry?

  • @Indianshitt The medication I am on now has helped me as far as keeping depressed and manic episodes away. I guess my expectation were simply that it would treat my symptoms which it has. I am currently in the process of lowering my meds and eventually going off completely.

  • i'll give you a venting

  • @AmericanKidsOnProzac I'm pretty sure you, as a person who does not know me at all, cannot make any kind of judgment on my life. Your opinions are simply that - your own opinions. They are not fact nor are they even correct at all. Please, next time think about what you are saying before you say it so you don't come across as ignorant like you just have.

  • @AmericanKidsOnProzac Am I even 20 years old...that made me laugh. LOL I'm almost 30, so I'm certainly not young and inexperienced. As for psychiatrists and meds, I believe in medication. They may not "cure" you but they certainly can treat your symptoms. I am currently in the process of going off meds but it is only because I am curious to see how I am without them. I have needed them in the past and am glad they are available to me if I ever need them again.

  • then i was given risperidone to subdue this unyielding power due that previous drugs. And since then i couldn't return back to normal energy levels, focus, etc. I don't know what to do. I am reeling behind time. How to cover up my lag behind time.

  • how do you characterise mania? Do you connect it to being productive or destructive? Initially i was diagnosed OCD and given fluoxetin 60mg and clonazapam .5mg and got mania characterised by elevated thoughts, high energy, being powerful high amount of concentration ability to finish seemingly difficult tasks quickly. I would finish studies at uni quickly and start doing other things like calling friends also distracting them. High confidence.

  • @Indianshitt It usually starts out being productive but the longer it goes on it just gets worse and worse to the point where I am so messed up in the head and confused that I can't make sense of things.

  • you seem slim in the video. But risperidone or Olanzapine give rise to weight gain. Due to psychotropics my weight shoot up from 75 kg to 95kg. But this is for male. Much lower for female.

  • how long had you been on risperidone and what dosage?

  • @Indianshitt I was on risperdal for about 6 months. I don't recall what dosage I was taking though.

  • Oh yes I too was a post graduate mathematics student. Bad drug for ma academic pursuits. And still not going off after discontinuing for 5 years. I didnt have ADHD before and after risperidone I got ADHD a short name for lack of motivation, focus, processing speed bla bla... Is it still continuing with you in its residual form?

  • @Indianshitt Nope, I no longer have any symptoms that I did from the risperdal now that I've been off it a long time.

  • i feel the same way on respridol and i quit taking respridol and i feel worse! please help

  • Yep, I too get that horrible fog in my head from meds. Hate it soooo much.

  • I am 37mgs and I can´t remember my mom or dad or anyone. I lay in bed crying all day and I used to have a IQ of 125 now I have 70

  • @SjurHermanzg I'm sorry you're having a tough time. That really sucks.

  • I've been on 2mg risperdal daily and 20mg prozac on alternate days for the last 10 or so months, i find the prozac counter-acts that zombie feeling u get. I've also got my sense of humour back, i can get a better sound out of the guitar and feel my old self again after an absence of most of the last decade. But one drug won't work without the other i find. Just my experience of the stuff.

  • Can you please respond to this. ok so all i had was depression and a year ago i was put on this and i have not felt the same since. i was on it for a month and my brain hurt so much and there was a weird pressure in my stomach and i had some breathing problems. and i have had that weird pressure in my stomach ever since and i just really dont feel like myself so did any of this happen to you?

  • @sk8erdude180x2 I did have some breathing issues when on it. But none of the other stuff that you mentioned. If you are still on it maybe you should talk to your doctor about trying something else, something with less side effects for you. That's what I did and now I'm on a great med.

  • Comment removed

  • Omg I cant belive some of the crap people are saying to you. Bipolar disorder is a serious mental illness that needs to be medicated. Its a chemical imbalance. You wouldnt ask a diabetic to go off his meds right? My ex decided he was all beter and wnt off his bipolor meds and killed himself. I glad to hear your new meds are helping you.

  • @ammandaba That's terrible. I'm so sorry to hear about your ex.

  • try risperdal consta. it's an injection, it's more expensive and requires a visit to your doc/nurse every 2 weeks. However, it works very well and has hardly any side effects.

  • listen girl we are all here for you ok u can make it i promise i hope ur doing well u are just like me  beatutiful on the outside and a monster/zombie on the inside. i feel u ur pain i almost cried im goin through same thing a lil difff but same so stay strong i see ur married i hope and pray that ur hubby takes care of u like i would .................try..........­...lol

  • where you taking it in the morning or at night?

  • @dalsondecap I used to take it at night.

  • @BipolarStateofBeing

    Hi,

    If your only problem is your mood swings, then why are you on an Antipsychotic, which TRANQUILIZES and SHRINKS BRAIN, for your mood swings?

    Feeling depressed? incrase dopamine with L-tyrosine or Phenylalanine

    Feeling eurphoric? take magnesium stop L-tyrosine or phenylalanine and caffeine or other stimulants.

    Best therapy for BRAIN:

    Get B-100 from Swanson, tripple strength fish oil from Puritan, Magnesium citrate in powder or magnesium oxide some 700mg/day!!!

  • The Citizens Commission on Human Rights (CCHR) is a nonprofit mental health watchdog, responsible for helping to enact more than 150 laws to protecting from abusive or coercive practices. CCHR has fought to restore human rights in mental health, including, full informed consent regarding the medical legitimacy of psychiatric diagnosis, Risks of Psychiatric drugs,and the RIGHT to REFUSE any TREATMENT. I was a zyprexa victom !!!!!!

  • Pharmacology is satanic.

  • Just do it, like nike

  • this is a common effect of risperdal...take control of your life, regardless of what your doctor tells you. Plus should you really be on this? Its pretty strong stuff.

  • @1976icb I'm no longer on risperdal. I'm now on Zyprexa, which has worked very well for me. I'm really happy with it.

  • you didn't need fucken risperdal you aren't psychotic. make sure you have all your labs in order: estrogen, tsh, free t3, t4, prolactin, zinc, vitamin d, b12/folate, cortisol, magnesium, calcium, testosterone, dhea. Get your doctor to test you for these things there may be a physiological reason why you are depressed.

  • @TickleMehNancy wow this is true what he/she is saying.. its all about hormones and diet

  • You´re very beautiful young woman, dont fu*k up ur life using meds like risp.

    It will destroy your brain and drive you like zombie in long term;

    believe me and find out more from internet that´s truth.

    Ask your doc/therapeut something else.

    I will pray for U.

    Take care !

  • @westerner74 Risperdal may not have been a very good med for me, but I do believe in meds for mental illness...the meds I'm on now are great.

  • You might be droeing a penis on it like how boys grow boobs on it. Heck maybe your sex organ will fall off. Maybe you will get bigger boobs like bous do on it, but once your 50 they will fall off . How about that.

  • Chemical Lobotomy isno differnt that drilling a metal bar in your brain like they did years ago. You have to be suisidal to take that !

  • @porphyria2 Well I don't really agree with you but I guess you are entitled to your opinion.

  • I understand how you are feeling. I know how you are feeling but its better than the pain of wondering all the time and the pain of being to high strung it is better and does relax more and better I feel at times I can concentrate but I dont obcess I can think and relate and feel better on it but I know the tiredness.

  • I know how you must feel, I take Risperdal to and I feel really soulless and weird..hard to explain...

  • @JohnnyX1239 I understand, it's a weird foggy sort of feeling I had in my head...almost like a blankness.

  • The doc tried to tell me the side effects were me and NOT the tablets. Liars!!!

  • @PleaseGoAway1000 Well that's too bad. I'm sorry your doc was so insensitive. Luckily I have a good doctor who tries to work with me on my meds.

  • @BipolarStateofBeing ...your lucky! x

  • Comment removed

  • i seen and felt the affects thankfully out of the wards,i dont wanna know what the stuff is they needed 4 nurses on occasions to cool fellow inmates,great envoriment. like a guinea pig most were treated observed are as, i broke out of spike milligan ward lewisham, id rather be run over by an amulance getting back to ireland

  • @CharmedQuarkZ99 Yeah my major is psychology, minor biology...

  • I feel ya 100 percent...

  • @noiz7 Thankfully I am not on this anymore!

  • meds suck,dont take them, and dont wait for your doctor to take you off of them, the thing about psychiatrists is that they really dont care if your happy or not and they think these dangerous meds that turn people into miserable emotionless blobs are great, if it was up to a psychiatrist they would never take you off of meds they would just switch you to something else, they are either really stupid or really fucked up in the head,

  • @1787dude I'm sorry if you've had a problem with meds before. I personally am on meds now that are helping me a lot so I'm definitely a believer in them as long as you are taking the right thing for you. I'm sure not all psychiatrists are great but mine has been really helpful and she is a very caring lady so I like her a lot, I'm glad I found the psychiatrist I did and that I'm on the meds I'm on.

  • @BipolarStateofBeing you sound dead to the world in this video

  • @1787dude Yes, that was not a good med for me. My current meds are 100X better.

  • @BipolarStateofBeing thats cool ive just had horrible luck with meds, ive learned to cope with my illness without them im almost normal again and 3 years ago i was horribly bipolar and becoming schizophrenic i still lose it from time to time but meds just make me have a continous depressive episode

  • @1787dude YEAH THEY JUST WANT TO RUIN LIVES.

  • @1787dude PSYCHIATRISTS just want to make your life a living hell, because they give you meds that cause sexual side effects. I know for onr Im taking respirdal and it causes that side effect. low semen production. Im a male with a girlfriend thats 22 this doesnt need to happen. It makes you lazy. Id rather be manic than anything, if there was one thing i wanted to be it would be back to the way i was in highschool real happy! Im not happy now

  • dude just dont take that stuff. resp'eridol is one of the worst everybody seems to disagree with me for some reason, but everybody else seems to have bought into the idea that these meds work or something but they are total proof that meds suck. i wish i could find a group online for bipolars who DON'T take meds. its almost like psychiatrists are purposefully trained wrong as some sick joke. ive learned to cope without meds, all meds will ever do is make people emotionless and physically ill.

  • To answer your question, I'm on 4mg a day.

  • I'm on Risperdal too. I can relate to what you're saying - IT MAKES YOU A ZOMBIE! Luckily I'm on another 2 types of Medication - which sort of breaks the Zombie-cycle...when I take the other 2...

  • @Ixataar What dosage are you on? I am just about to start!!!

  • @A0Candle0In0The0Dark  Im on 3

  • Just wondering: before your problems with bipolar started, were you on an antidepressant?

  • @hanksnivelyreturns I tried anti-depressants when I was a teenager, so like 10+ years ago. But I haven't taken them recently, and I don't think I would ever take them again.

  • @BipolarStateofBeing why not take them again?

  • Thanks for your video it definately helps me in determining that it is riperidone/risperidal that is causeing me to feel like I am just showing up. I pretty much already knew it was the meds but the few people brave enough to share there insite on the internet help people like me. I guess comparred to the issues I deal with off the med I probably will stick with this. I pray to god this shit doesnt cast any permanent damage on me though.

  • @Indoside I know what you mean, it's kinda scary taking meds when you don't know exactly what they do.

  • iam not sure about this but i combine rittalin with 4 mg's of resperidone it works a ok

    stay busy with whatever you do wait for good things to happen they will and most of all accept yourself Bruce

  • Thanks for sharing your feelings and sensations about this med and about yourself. You seem to be really focused and alive. Hope you find the right frequency again to help you move towards who you want to be. Hugs from Spain.

  • @Jazzulmusic Thanks for your comments :)

  • Get off risperdal if you can, don't ever get yourself committed to a mental hospital and take care of yourself.

  • only thing i notice with risperdal is the tranquilizer effect, puts me out for 10 hours straight and it seems like 1 minute went by

  • Seems to me that I go in and out of this, and I'm not on any meds...well, I have a script for Zoloft, but anyway...

  • @lovebiotech I just went to my counselor yesterday, and we talked about how hard it is to pinpoint how much of what is caused by meds, genetics, environment, etc. which only makes it harder to treat.

  • @BipolarStateofBeing I'm a biotech student, and your counselor is right about that. I've been doing some studying into this, on my own, for a number of reasons. I can pass along the peer-reviewed articles, if you want. Anyway, the finding is that there are differences in brain structure for people with bipolar disorder and those who have major depression with a family history of major depression or bipolar disorder. Right now, med professionals can only treat symptoms.

  • @lovebiotech Yes, I'd love to see the articles

  • i think i might have been permamently fucked up by risperidal

    and i think i've been off it for at least a year

  • risperidal fucked me up

    or should i say my "doctor" fucked me up

    on

    risperidal

    so beyond belief that i can't even describe it. if i said it made me "anxious". that would just be silly

    k

  • @smp156 The risperdal hasn't made me anxious but abilify did that to me, it was horrible.

  • duh babe

    learn about psyhciatric drugs.

    risperdal will make u groggy and droggy. try abilify

  • @stillhippie See, I get so confused about meds in general, because there are so many and they have so many varied effects and for some reason they always seem to work differently on different people. I did try anti-depressants as a teen and I can't remember 100% but I think Wellbutrin was one, Celexa was another. Then also there is the interaction of med A+B or med B+C which also varies....AGHHHHHHH if only it was a simple answer of what works or doesn't without all this trial/error!

  • @stillhippie Sure I'd like to hear your experience.

  • Can relate, try telling the doc that you are having trouble functioning. Maybe lowering the dose will still keep you stable & let you do what you need & enjoy doing. That was my biggest problem in the past, the doctors were too hung up on the therapeutic dose & not what worked for me.

  • @2LucidDream That's a good idea, thanks, I will talk to my doc about it.

  • I'm so sorry that you are on the med merry-go-round, Nicole. It's hard to find the best med combo for each person. I know you're frustrated and it's easier said then done when I tell you to stick with it, you and your docs WILL find the perfect med combo for you, but even though it's hard, you have to stick with it. Just know that the perfect med combo IS ACTUALLY out there and it IS worth working for to find it. It really sounds like you are a rapid cycler like me. It won't always be like this.

  • @stormyshewolf Thanks for the support. It has been such a hard road since my diagnosis...I'm trying to stay strong and not give up altogether.

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