Domestic Violence: Why Doesn't She Just Leave?

[GiantPetRat]

What really boggles my mind is when children are allowed stay with people who are CLEARLY unstable, who have STRONG histories of being abusive or unlawful. Certainly, there are cases where it can be difficult to decide whether the guardian is safe. But when it's that cut and dry, how is it the government gives them ANYthing? Why do children get put with foster parents who are clearly unfit to care for kids?

[angelg0ld]

i stay to protect my daughter. It makes me a nervous wreck just thinking about him having visitation rights with her and something happening to her in his care. When I am around he is irresponsible and puts her in harms way, it's hard to tell what its like when I'm not around. I don't want to know. She's 2 years old. I want out so badly, but I'm afraid for her.

[MeghanJillG]

@xangel08 please point out to me any spot where anyone says women don't ever abuse men. The truth is, women are far more likely to suffer physical damage from being hit by a man than the other way around. Do men get black eyes from their girlfriends? I'm sure it happens, but count how many men that happens to and compare it to the number of women that it happens to. Equality does not equal a loss for anyone.

[megabrowser17]

The victims of domestic violence can be anyone, including......

She forgot sexual gender... Men and boys are hurt too.

[TheAnnafisher]

the hotline dot org

[kitgoininsane]

If you wanna talk to women who've been there and done that, and have escaped....go to The Sisterhood on facebook...amazing women! I thought I was alone in my abuse and the aftermath, but we're never alone....they do rescues, also and they're not afraid of any abuser....I had a difficult time finding it, so I'll include the link in the next post but if you do search in facebook, it's going to have a blue background picture with a bunch of women in shadow holding hands. Tell them Ang sent you.

[kitgoininsane]

If you wanna talk to women who've been there and done that, and have escaped....go to The Sisterhood on facebook...amazing women!  I thought I was alone in my abuse and the aftermath, but we're never alone....they do rescues, also and they're not afraid of any abuser....I had a difficult time finding it, so I'll include the link in the next post but if you do search in facebook, it's going to have a blue background picture with a bunch of women in shadow holding hands. Tell them Ang sent you.

[xangel08]

Is this another double standard video-As if women NEVER beat men and men are NEVER in an abusive relationship? Why isn't there more videos about that?

[thekenniewitch]

I had no understanding of why women stayed with an abuser...until I became one of them. Would you leave if he threatened to kill all of your family members? Would you leave if he pointed a loaded handgun to your head and was fully planning on killing you if you persisted in leaving? Only someone involved in this type of situation is going to understand what it is like to stay and the fear that you live with every day. Many, many women are killed when trying to leave.

[evelsteev]

@thekenniewitch threats are no reason to stay, however. Go to the police. That's what they're there for.

[thekenniewitch]

@evelsteev The police are not going to watch you 24/7 but your abuser can. If you get a restraining order that is only a piece of paper when he is beating the hell out of you. If he does get ANY jail time, that doesn't stop most of these guys...it just gives them time to think about what they will do to you when they get out.

[evelsteev]

@thekenniewitch Inform everyone around you, to get in on it. Learn self defense, get a taser, or get a gun, if you have to. Be proactive. Don't just sit there and take it, especially when there's kids involved.

[thekenniewitch]

@evelsteev I did all of that and when I tazed him he was back up in no time and used it on me. He trapped me in a plexiglass bus shelter and he drove his vehicle up on the sidewalk totally blocking my exit. There was no where to go except in his vehicle. No people around who wanted to get involved. Same as the time that he dragged me out of a bar screaming and fighting. No one helped. I went to a shelter and it took him 3 days to track me down (private investigator.)

[evelsteev]

@thekenniewitch then film him coming at you, and take it to court, in lieu of his restraining order. I'd then get a lawyer. He can't do this forever.

[thekenniewitch]

@evelsteev @evelsteev Abusers fall into 2 different categories. Category one is the ones who will be the most likely to kill you when you attempt to leave but they often don't keep after you for long. The category 2 people will stalk you and will sometimes stalk you for 20 or more years. They will cross state lines, borders, etc. to get you. They can be jailed for years and continue stalking you for years.

[thekenniewitch]

@evelsteev The only real safe place was the mental ward at the local hospital. But they only keep you 48 hours. So I went to another hospital and that gave me enough time to mentally be clear enough on what I would do. I moved to rural Kansas and I thought that I saw him there so I went to Rome, New York. He was killed in a car crash on the interstate 81. I was able to go on with my life.

[evelsteev]

@thekenniewitch you could have gone on, anyways. This happens now and again. But murdering people is not the solution.

[thekenniewitch]

@evelsteev I never said that you, or anyone else, should murder anyone.

[SuperNewhorizon]

you got to put fear in these men, show them ur not scared and get help fast , i had a friend whos mother was abused by her boyfriend , you know what she did, she got all of her brothers and cousins and uncles together and they beat the living shit out of him, we never ever seen his punk ass again,

[WhyNotLeave]

We write about that fact in the book.

[AnneFA2005]

Not only are children ordered into unsupervised visits but the courts are placing them with their abusers.