Added: 5 years ago
From: TheCinephile
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  • WRONG.. the first person of EU was a dutch man named Willem Janszoon... in 1606. the british person was James Cook in 1770.. So sorry the firstman on australia was Williem Janszoon (;

  • what about the convicts?

  • this is SO sadly true. It's one-sided, but accurate on a cocky way of expressing what how it all actually happened.

  • Excellent!

  • Masturbation is a noun

  • LOL @ conference call between King George, Billington and Cook!

  • you suck as fuck

  • Hey! that's the history of Latinamerica, except that we did not fight for no frikin Spaniards.

  • this is gay!

  • ......and called it New Holland.......because he was really a Dutch bloke......and named a few places......Van Diemens Land, Tasmania etc.....just to confuse punters.......and then he hired some other blokes who didnt know any better.....and who liked simplistic bollux......and made this......which , while a bit funny.....is just a load of old cobblers

  • Very funny! Great example of Aussie humour. 4 thumbs up.

  • Accurate histroy: Whites convicts kill and rape natives and claim the land for themselves

    white people fav hobby == GENOCIDE

    xx

  • james cunny you fail with wording and i hope your not saying the british settlers werent racist have you not heard of the stolen generation

  • So in summary, James Cook "discovered" Australia, the leader of britain at the time being King George the 3rd wanted it to be occupied by convicts since it was a desert wasteland. Arthur Phillip was in charge of doing just that and bringing the convicts over, a few years later they populate. In 1914 Jospeh Cook agreed to help britain in a war. Some of the war turned out like D-Day except they lost. And at the last part when the British general is talking, I'm assuming the west war got beat too.

  • LMFAO xD

  • Love it Hahaha

  • British Tradition. Claim whats not yours as your own, send the scum of  society to inhabit, eradicate and isolate the indigenous, deplete natural resources, cultivate culture of selfishness and greed.

  • lovely.  Id like to hear the same narrator tell the the tale of california, and its residence from the spanish on to present day casino town.

  • "When the continent of Australia was DISCOVERED by one Cpt. James Cook". Are you dumb? The DISCOVERY of what is know Australia happened thousands of years(50,000 years ago) prior to Cook. Create your superficial history as much as you like and it will be the cause of your own undoing..

  • LOL Good job dude.

  • brill... as we say in a little part of the old world.

  • y am i watching this

    ??????????????

  • o:43 hahahaha

  • Lmao this was amazing! I'm not even Austrailian and this was funny. Lol :) Greeting from the US!

  • BAHAHA!! This is BRILLIANT!! Well done, TheCinephile!

  • Humorous and sad at the same time...

    No, I don't hold anything against you for being a pom...

    Your Royals were and still are quite the characters, aren't they,

    eh, what?! Rather! Smashing, Super, etc., etc., etc...

    I drink coffee and like to listen to Alex Harvey and Maggie Bell...

    Thanks for subscribing. I am sure as you are a modern englishman your intentions are noble and completely above reproach.

    Goodonya maaate...!

  • Humorous and sad at the same time...

    No, I don't hold anything against you for being a pom...

    Your Royals were and still are quite the characters, aren't they,

    eh, what?! Rather! Smashing, Super, etc., etc., etc...

    I drink coffee and like to listen to Alex Harvey and Maggie Bell...

    Thanks for subscribing. I am sure as you a modern englishman your intentions are noble and completely above reproach.

    Goodonya maaate...!

  • ha ha ha very funny

  • yer we saved are own ass we when the battle of britain when german tryed to invades uz they failed and in ww1 we didnt need america in ww2 i admit we did need thenn to fight the japs when we were busy fighting germany and yer englansd got bck at france when france made us lose a great nation of our emipire witch was america and we defeated france in waterloo nopolian was ment to be the best general then nelson fucked them over and tyhey made a piece trearty with enland cuz there scared

  • British for the win

    a small country took on the worl and had the biggest empire ever then ww1 came then we lost lose of men thrn the next generation we lost lose of men in ww2 then it made us week but were still a strong country toda but not as it use to be and yer america wouldnt of one the war with france wasnt there and yer american take all the credit britain was the first to clair war on germany with france in ww1 and ww2 and fighted to the beggining to the end we saved are own ass

  • @OGZxH4CKZOR1 if you find abusing, torturing, violently murdering, taking the peaple's pride away as something to be so Proud of than you should stop and look back at your moralities and ethics but i doubt about you even having any.

  • Why isnt this truth being taught to our children in our Schools instead of the blantantly untrue glorification of Cook and his Counterparts

  • "the french won the american revolutionary war for the yanks mate" that was my point about the gun powder, I agree on this part.

    "just the yanks want all the credit like they think they won ww2 on there own despise russia being in berlin months before anyone else losing 8 million troops and taking out 80% of the german military"

    But this second part - I'm not trying to be disrespectful but I can tell you have never been to the USA as you are very wrong on this point - common myth.

  • @cyasares Sorry sir, but there is a plethora of historical documentation regarding casualties on the Eastern front in WW2. It's not a myth, it's an acknowledged fact that Germany lost 80% of it's casualties fighting Russia. Feel free to look it up, any book on the Eastern front will mention it in the first few pages.

  • @Autobrots - I fully agree with you and it is just the statements about the yanks thinking they won ww2 all alone, despising russians because they were not 1st, ect... those statements are so far off the mark but are common misconceptions that lack the abundance of historical documentation."

    MYTH STUFF:

    "the yanks want all the credit" ""think they won ww2"

    "despise russia being in berlin" months before" "8 million troops" "taking out 80% of the german"

  • Love it!!!!

  • THEY SHOULD HAVE KILLED ALL THESE WHITE FOOLS WHEN THEY CAME TO THEIR COUNTRY. FUCKING MONARCHS FOOL

  • @daintyapple

    you do realise that the brits just beat the french by a week dont you

    and based on frances history the french would have fully wiped the abos out

    go learn history before you speak frog

  • @AlienFirefox

    "you do realise that the brits just beat the french by a week dont you"

    I didn't but interesting, will have to follow up. Washington's victory is also a victory for the French as they provided 90 % of the gunpowder, plus a few other things to defeat the Brits.

  • @cyasares

    @cyasares

    the french won the american revolutionary war for the yanks mate just the yanks want all the credit like they think they won ww2 on there own

    despise russia being in berlin months before anyone else losing 8 million troops and taking out 80% of the german military

  • King George III was an inbred? How were his parents related to each other?

  • Lol I love it!

  • " indigenous uninnhabitants of Australia who weren't there" ...lol ........love it well done!!

  • great video, keep up the great work, hope to see some more, maybe you could do something on pemulwuy, the resistant fighter back in 1790's in sydney.. excellent

  • This is just FANTASTIC! So Black Adderish! BRILLIANT BRILLIANT BRILLIANT and sooo clever and insightful. Just love it.

  • @hammrsgl

    Thanks for the feedback. I've moved to a brand new channel if you care to check it out.

  • Correction; It was 1602 :))

  • @theOrangeDutchman

    I agree. The main idea of this video is to poke fun at the 'official version' of Australian history that I learned as a child. Our schoolbooks didn't mention Janszoon at all!

  • @theOrangeDutchman

    Oh by the way, this is my new channel, check it out if you wish.

  • Wrong...Australia is discovered by the Dutch in 1609 (just like New-Zealand)!!! by Willem Janszoon...and was called New Holland..The Dutch landed on the west coast, the English almost 100 years later on the east coast..with, ye there he is, James Cook.

    But the english still not want to see Dutch history, just like that of 'Nieuw Amsterdam' today called...'New York'

    Greetzz from Holland

  • awesome vid. This will help me with my project

  • Hysterically true! I can't imagine someone givin' less than 5 stars.

  • Well thanks for the kudos. Glad you enjoyed it. It's getting a little out of date after all these years.

  • well I thought it was funny

  • Thankis.

  • Typing fail.

  • 1521

  • Australia was NOT discovered by Williem Janszoon or Cook.. IT was Christopher Mendoça. for the Portuguese and never forget that the Portuguese were the Ones to Introduce Tea to Europe Not the Dutch Nor the English.

  • and dunno why your trying to suggest where rascist towards you aussies as where obv not if where emigranting there more than anywhere

  • Again, it's a parody. It's really poking fun at the rather silly and simplistic version of Australian history told to us at school.

  • you got something wrong theremate no1 in britain drinks tea to be honest unless there posh or use that accent theres like 100+ accents here and americain civil war wasnt won it was it was a treaty signed after it was deemed worthless as france n holland where more a threat even after winning most the battles in america and that about body counts is untrue the germans had a WAYYYY bigger body count

  • It's a parody.

  • Australia was NOT discovered by James Cook but by Willem Janszoon in 1606!

  • True.

  • That was an absolute masterpiece. Love the humour. great work :)

  • You stupid idiot. Do you realise how much dishonour you have done to the aboriginie?

    You imply that Aboriginines lay down and took whatever the english dealt out!!!

    Find out the real history not your vanilla i'm so sorry white boys crap. Ya I am sure your lies and dreams are meant to make white people feel bad and aboriginies feel cheated. The aboriginie did not lie down and die they fought tooth and nail. please shut up or go kill yourself. Do all black people world wide a favour you idiot.

  • I don't see any point in the film where it discusses any interactions between Aborigines and European settlers.

    Feel free to post a time stamp pointing to the moment in the video where I say anything about Aborigines 'laying down and taking whatever the English dealt out'.

    Also, it's a joke; it dishonours everyone equally.

  • pretty damn harsh sending convicts there, were random animals want to kill you whilst your burning to death and de-hydrated, but they stuck it out got there freedom and have one hell of a country now days.

  • I think you should actiualy make some effort before you you post this. Cook was a complex and remarkable character.For a start.

    Go on. Read The Trial of the Cannibal Dog, as a start.

  • I agree with you that Captain Cook is not the two dimensional, paper thin caricature in the video. It's just a lot more difficult to make a satire that takes the time to lay out the bare facts in a dry objective manner while still remaining entertaining and less than four hours long.

  • Hmmm, OK. I see.

    Still, I am recommending that book to you. "The Trial of the Cannibal Dog" - admittedly about Cook and South Pacific, not Australia. I just read it, and was pretty much flabbeghasted.

  • I'll be sure to check it out if I get the chance. Cook's misadventures in the Pacific do suggest that the man was far less of a paragon than the lionised portraits of him in schoolbooks suggest.

  • this is excelent hehehe

  • Cheers.

  • Very accurate and entertaining.Showing the truth about british history,and their behavior alone shows how inbred their rulers are.

  • sorry my mastake they where colonists

    i just dont understand why there where dressed like native americans and sorry i thought that tea was grown in america

    i thought that your video was quite funny

  • Well thanks for the compliment, and I commend your interest in history, kudos.

  • So they could claim that they were not guilty of dumping the tea. The British government knew better, of course, and grew angrier than ever at what it saw as Americans' ingratitude.

  • and why would they give a body count to a propaganda office by the way im 14 dont ask of how i no so much about history i just do

  • Well, this movie is mainly a joke just so you know.

    Nothing wrong with knowing a lot about history, keep on learning I say.

  • that quite a funny vid but a few things wrong captain cook talked with a yorkshire accent i should know since im from yorkshire

    second king george was mad so thats why he talked to trees

    third tee came from america and the people who chuked the tee overbord where not americans they where native indians

    and also ned kelly was shot 23 times the irish joke was funny :)

    next the guy you put in as the commander guy in WW1 was achaly franz ferdinan who was shot and then WW1 started

  • Indeed,

    Unfortunately, as I am from Australia I can't do a Yorkshire accent.

    King George was mad, I concur.

    Tea most certainly did not come from America, since the Chinese were drinking it long before.

    Also, the people who chucked the tea overboard were not native Americans, but rather colonists dressed as Native Americans.

    You're right about Ned Kelly, that was a slight exaggeration.

    I'm pretty sure it's not Franz Ferdinand, but it might be.

  • The Boston Tea Party...... they were whites dressed as native indians.. Just FYI

  • maker of this vid must be one of those anti-everything high schoolers

  • How can you say that when I'm clearly pro-eyebrows and pro-late nineties ring tones?

  • Haha. Funny video!

  • Well said !

  • Yeah exactly..what a joke..

    oH,, by the way & the Portuguese where the first Europeans to map & discover Austtralia but their goal was another and secrecy about newly discovered lands was top secret in the Age of Discovery lead by d Portuguese.. now,that u possess ur own printers & publishers u may now rewrite ur history books, teach d truth in ur schools & tell the world, Vasco da Gama had shit on it & 250years later tripped on it.. Loved d Video, Respect & VIVA Australia

    Luv from Portugal

  • hahahaha luv'd it!!!

    your the best

  • Thanks, glad you enjoyed it.

  • loved it .. well done :)

  • Good Job man! I´m just preparing a presentation and it helps me a lot!!!! Very cool stuff!!!

  • Er, word to the wise, large parts of this video are entirely farcical.

  • This is fantastic. It would've been great if you hadn't said "inbred" and things like "masturbation", I would've shown it to my class. I like the accents :)

  • This was very funny, well done and in a funny way so true. The incompetence of the english in the early days did show the aussies being shafted by the british during the war.

  • Cheers for the comment.

  • Long live everyone I say.

  • What have I said about the French? Nothing, in fact I don´t have anything against England, Portugal and England are Allies since 1373, so we are Allies not Enemies, the Spanish and the French are the Enemies. Long Live England, Long Live Portugal!

  • hahaha very simplistic. but funny

    i guess u didnt have 8 hours

  • I also didn't have a camera back in those days, which was a bit of a limitation...

  • hmmm well you should have lol. but funny doco,

  • this is cool :)

  • srsrsrsrs... poor felows, it was the Portuguese Empire who Discovered Australia not the English Pirats. They Discovered it 250 years earlier, much earlier than the English people thought to go out their Island! That is the True!

    Long Live the True Discover Nation, Portugal! They were the fathers of the Maritime Explorations!

    Viva Portugal... heróis do mar, nobre povo, nação valente e imortal, levantai hoje denovo o esplendor de Portugal!

  • so did the french you dick so get over it, long live the french bla bla, portugal and france were dum enough to go on the wrong side of the country and found it unliveable, shows how dum they are

  • Well, I agree that Portuguese explorers discovered Australia as you say. As for being the fathers of maritime exploration, well, I think that honour might belong to the Phoenicians.

  • heheeeee...great! :)

    tptaly true

  • I do hope that certain peoples here realise this is satirical....

  • I LOVE this. It's funny, biting, and informative.

  • Cheers. I do my best, it's a little outdated these days though.

  • soll ich dein Arsch ficken?

  • What an abortion of un truthes referred to as our history! Typical of a labourist ass = donkey

  • spiffing. lol.

  • HAHAHAHA Well done mate love the voices haha

  • Cheers

  • das ist schön!

    gut gemacht

  • danke

  • hahahahahaha haaaaaaaaaaaa hahaha white people are funny

  • On 23 April he made his first recorded direct observation of indigenous Australians at Brush Island near Bawley Point, noting in his journal "...and were so near the Shore as to distinguish several people upon the Sea beach they appear'd to be of a very dark or black Colour but whether this was the real colour of their skins or the C[l]othes they might have on I know not."

  • very well done

  • history of slave lol

  • very good

  • cook had nothing to do with the penal colony.... he only discovered the east coast

  • this was kool as hell

  • Thanks.

  • LOL, Amazing with the convicts

  • Jezza520 i wanna put a knife straight through ur throat meet me cunt if u game enough to call me racists names i wanna rip throat open.

  • I called you a racist cunt because you are one.

    You are also illiterate btw.

  • I must not be that racist i have a white woman and black people dont hate against any race we respect every race that respects us. Its people like you that give white people a bad name, and for the record i love white people. But not the racist ones like you. I am way more intelegent and smarter than you will ever be. In god is my integence.

  • In god is my intelegance as with all man who are made in the image of his likenes.

  • can god spell then love?

  • You say you are more intelligent than me yet you cant spell "intelligent". What's up with that?

    And how am i racist when i haven't said anything racist at all?

  • Yeah hate against the aboriginal race thats a start

  • I don't hate the aboriginal race.

    Did i ever say i did?

  • Read up Jezza520

  • HAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAhA

    fuckin pomey bastards aye

    BUT being stubborn an irish aye he was shot aye 78 times LOL

    just shows how shit victorian jacks are aye

    cant shoot for shit unless they spray

  • Read a book that has been recently released: 1788 by David Hill. All about the First Fleet - a very good read indeed.

  • saesae102 is a racist cunt just ignore him.

  • ur the only racist cunt u faggot Jezza or Jezzabelle evil name that is. and last i checked my people have been through racist acts that u or no white cunt has ever been through.

  • ignore everythin that this cunt Jezza520 says. he is one of the most racist cunts i ever cum across. I bet if this cunt had to say the things he says hin front of a black man they wud knife him or kill him straight up.

  • Because back in the old days before the European settlers came we had our own Laws that people abided by. In our way its and eye for an eye, if you steal they make you hold ur hand up hand they put a spear straight through you and if you move, make a sound or flinch u get another until u stand there and jus take it. its pretty hard to understand but thats the way it was.

  • when we marry we have to marry different skin name because we cant marry same skin doesnt matter if ur family, when u marry. ur wives cum as ur wives get older, we not only have one wife but 4 or 5 or more thats our connection of life. it may sound taboo to most people but thats the way it was and we also have spirit gods our god is Wangina The good SPirit God and we have bad spirit aswell the Rainbow serpant(moondagudda). how black magic we call puri-puri it a poerwfull force unknown to others.

  • Black magic like voodoo?

    How did such powers work and aid people?

  • Its more powerfull force that you cant explain you would have to experience it for urself....but i do know of one story that got out through the headlines. A white cop murdered a young Aboriginal Boy and got off on all charges, a few years later that same cop was in a magazine called "Thats Life" he told how he was getting tormented and was seeing Aboriginal people painted up in his house, but see what we know is that these things have happened when yo do bad things.

  • I understand, black magic for justice or good?

    That opens my mind up a lot, i've learned so much and it's something i couldn't ever imagine in my wildest dreams.

    I have to be honest i am way too scared to go near black magic because i wouldn't be able to control it or accept what i would percieve.

    Karma is something that does seem to work for me but it's not something that i can control and it can be subtle - almost like co-incidence and for all i know it could be :o

  • they dont voodoo is a pratice of dealing with souls when u deal with the dead ull find that the dead hate to be anoyed

  • In our way when tribal marriages we have all got skin names when ur born ur born with ur mother and fathers skin name and then when becoming of age they get initiated tribbally either cut in the chest with a sharp stone that has our magic sung in to it or circumcision, this is their way and then they are given new skin name because they are born again in a spritual guidance through life u may have the same skin has someone u never even met before but that skin name is ur family.

  • No non Aoriginal person to this land can never feel the spiritual connection we have to this land my people lived in the desert white man wud never know how to survive with out their manmade essentials. our people knew how to hydrate their bodies in the desert. we lived off the land. we can find any medicine for any injury in the buch. our people are smarter that way. thats why god made our bone structure thick to withstand the burdens of time.ours is one of the most oldest culture on the planet

  • That's amazing - but what did you do for food and water?

    Also when it got cold in winter or at night what would you do?

    And what customs or arrangments for marriage or connecting to the opposite sex?

    I believe that the Aboriginal people were very much like the Native Indians of America, is this fairly truthful?

    Also please tell me anything more because this information is magical beyond imagination and time.

  • our people made big cloaks made up of either emu or kangaroo skin even possum skins weaved it kept them warm when it was cold and they always in the sun our skin just goes blacker they never knew what skin cancer was because dont forget over thousands of years their skin and bodies are immuned to the harsh Australian weather. Every child is born with a totem of a native animal when we in need of food our spiritual ways our totems come out that our food and water we dig in the ground or old trees

  • They called him the white ghost because our people never ever seen a white man untill they seen him.

    To us he is the devil.

  • This is really good, I wanted to know a bit more about the history and this was well done. One thing I would say if you don't mind (take it as constructive criticism) when your talking about one thing and other information scrolls across at the same time it can be quite distracting and confusing! other wise great! ;)

  • Well done Cinephile, as a history graduate, that was friggin tops! and more accurate than most Australians want to acknowledge, as if part II

  • This video's rubbish.

    Don't insult your own heritage you stupid kid.

  • I still don't understand how a huge body count wins the war :s

  • This was a war that used Fire arms against spears who do u think wud win and this land wasnt teria nalis. This land has a Black history thats all i can say. white history here is only dated back to 1770 like the place in Tropical queensland 1770 is where cook came in but when he went to the Islands him and his crew was slaughtered by the Polyunesians back in those polyunesians used to trade for thousands of years they got word from Australia that cook was headin there way.

  • Very interesting indeed.

  • History doesnt really tell u how cook died, but our history by word of mouth tells us that cook was slaughtered by the Hawaians they cooked him up and hate him because in theair customs when sumone visits they treat them like kings and give them everything women food ect. what cook didnt know is that these people didnt really want him there when he left the island there was a big storm and he had to cum back in to hawaii when he did they was ready waiting for him.

  • Hehe captain cook got cooked lol xD

    This story is incredibly fascinating indeed.

  • cum and read comments up

  • No you racist retard.

    Take a fucking look around and you will realize that no race rules the world.

    Obama is half caste by the way.

  • heheheheh look at the colour of his skin even all half cast's claim themselves as black. You only sayin that coz now u wanna be apart of obama and u know that he is a black man thats why OBAMA'S Administration has payed for 500 tickets for 500 Aboriginal women to go over and witness his Inaugoration. and give their views on the world as we see today If you think im talkin shit call 4AAA Murri Country radio and ask them if this is true.

  • he not only did this for Aboriginal women in Australia but all indigenous women around the world are set be there at his Inaugoration.

  • native american history native americans ftw

  • FUCK ALL YALL CRACKAZ BLACK PEOPLE RULE THE WORLD NOW BIOCTH OBAMA!!!!!

    p.s:all white people report to the cotton fields for oreintation...

  • Tbone, how does an illiterate cunt like you afford to use the internet?.

  • BY MAKING YO MOMMA BE MY PROSTITUTE AND MAKE DA MOLA(money)XDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDX­DXDDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXD­XD

  • That would be a good call if it wasn't for the fact you live on the other side of the world..

    And no Obama only rules the USA not Australia..

    He isnt president of the fucking world you douche.

  • This Dickhead doesnt know shit talkin to u Jezzabelle u evil fuk America actually does rule the free world that includes Australia and all democracy counrties. America is the big sister country for all of us coz they helped us in the world war you stupid fuk dont you know history and just quietly my grandfather and his brothers served and died for this country and we are Aboriginal too and proud of it. and my grand fathers wasnt recmondated by no queen so she can kiss my black arse.

  • america is cool american ftw but the gov is tricking us the gov dont own shit this land is no ones like the idians said but who listen to the important people no one

  • hehehe all i can say is AUstralia has a black history you owe two hundred years of rent and also grand theft larsony.

    we are people dick head jus like all people we evolve look at me an abbo using a computer who would of thought

  • as if you own your own computer tho.... lol

  • Cook hasn't discovered Australia, Abel Tasman from Holland did! With a ship called 'Duifke'

  • what about the black people who were living there, you don't talk about it. The real australian is black not white. White people come from europe. It is just like America white people took over, and now said it's their country this madness.

  • clearly ur black because your english is terrible! the abo's of Australia lived in tribes and were NOT a united country, they were divided and fought each other all the time. This is why today they still dont like each other. Today they are money mungers and will do anything to get a free ride. Its been almost 200 years since we came here and we have made it into a wonderful country. If they cant except it then they can fuk off, i refuse to feel bad about the history of MY WHITE people.

  • the white people who first came to australia were criminal. So shut up, your not australian you pretend so. I'm sure your descent are fuck Irish who was bad just like you. Maybe your great grand parents were rapist or fucking pedophile. YOU FULL OF SHITE. By the way english is among the 5languages that i speak. Va te faire enculer. Get that!!!