Single Mothers: It's NOT the Majority's Choice

[MyFreshMeatColdBeer]

Wow...as a single mother who makes over six figures a year and is raising a young boy by myself I am really surprised by the comments and judgements. For the record I was married and with my husband for 7 years before he left me 9 days before our son's 1st birthday. He left me, decided not to pay support and became a dead beat dad. When I met him 7 years prior he was stable with a great job, was supportive of me and we had a decent life. Careful what you say.

[CpsLock3]

Dating advice for single mothers. From a realist. You screwed yourself over give up. Give the child the love you thrown away. Respect your child for resenting you in this reason. Don't tell your child this is the way things are. Don't give him bullshit that "even though we are apart we still love you" because you know you would try your best so he has a happy life and not your happy life. Don't pretend you are a good person for using your child as a pawn to get money from your ex.

[boomer8791]

Your problems/choices are the taxpayers responsibilities anymore. Deal with it !!!

[kimmie6209]

ALL SINGLE MOTHERS ARE IN THE SAME CATEGORY! U are women who have a child or children & are no longer or never been in a committed relationship with said childs father. It doesn't matter if u are widowed, have a good relationship with their dad, or was abandoned. The child is still THERE. So all of u are in the same category, like it or not, and a man who chooses to not be involved in a ready made family doesn't have to take anything into consideration expect for the fact that you have a child.

[georgelopezblows]

Women hate when men won't date them.

Men not wanting to date single mother's is no different than women not wanting to date men with low paying jobs. No different.

Hurts when the shoe is on the other foot, huh?

[whitebitchnigga]

This woman is silly and misinformed.

[NewMeNow2000]

*correction* I mean to say that I don't put fatherlessness ENTIRELY on the shoulders of single mothers by choice as they do play a part in that as well.

[NewMeNow2000]

wel lbeing at all dependent on anyone besides you, then you are fully and 100% responsible for the outcome. Only women can choose to become pregnant, to keep the child or the pregnancy. Men just don't have that power. Unless the man has chosen to marry you then he has not given his consent in anyway to fathering your children. His not wearing a condom is not consent to fatherhood, its merely the irresponsibility of the woman for putting herself at risk. As women it's time we WOMAN UP and own up.

[NewMeNow2000]

I think part of the problem is the way you define single mom. I don't consider divorced women or widowed women with children single mothers, or at least I don't catagorize them with women who CHOOSE single motherhood. Now while I don't put fatherlessness on the shoulders of the single-mothers-by-choice, I do put their status as single mothers on their shoulders ENTIRELY. When you choose to have children with a man that has not committed to you and then choose to have your childs financial con't

[FreeBlago1]

We would rather have a woman who is physically and mentally a 5 with zero "erection slayers" than a woman who is a 10 with a kid.

[FreeBlago1]

hkjh

[stickyfingerz187]

THIS SHIT SOUNDS LIKE BLA BLA BLA....... TO A CERTAIN EXTENT.....THE BOTTOM LINE IS YOU HAD KIDS & YOU SINGLE..... NOT GONNA BE ABLE TO DO IT... 3 KIDS W/ 1 MAN IS GOOD THO......

[TheScorpionqueen23]

For the stinking big PUSSIES who is talking shot about single parents, I hope your fucking marriages last!!! Because marriage today is a fucking joke! Marriage is SO overrated!!! Divorce rates are so fucking high, it's funny! Let's hope the asswholes don't become "widowed"! Because tomorrow is NOT promised bitches!

[WhereYaBoss]

If you're having sex without a condom & birth control pill at the same time with a dude who is partially committed to you then YOU ARE CHOOSING to be a single mom, in my book. If you don't want to be a single mother at least get married. I only support single moms who are single because of a divorce or widowed. I don't support single moms who allowed themselves to get pregnant, Especially if it was the result of a booty call. I don't even think they should even celebrate Mother's Day. Really!

[MsRandomBubble]

@robertjoesephgreen not every women got pregnant from unprotected sex, me being one of them, birth control and condoms do fail sometimes, most women do know that sex leads to a baby, but not every teen girl understands that process. Everybody makes bad judgements, and instead of hating them for it, we should be compassionate to them and understanding.

[ezekielthemack]

@MsRandomBubble I disagree. We live in an information age where young BW have access to a wealth of information that BW from previous generations did not have access to.Young BW should NOT be having out of wedlock children at the rate they are having them point blank period. The fact that this problem affects the black community more than any other group speaks volumes.BW for the most part are not protecting themselves which is the root cause of this problem.

[MsRandomBubble]

@ezekielthemack I'd like to point out im not a black women first of all. And second, when I was in sexual education in high school, all they taught me was abstinece, when it has proven that it doesn't work.Im all for people who stay virgins till they are married, but we need to teach every possible option. I've had several girls come up to me where I volunteer and tell me that if someone taught them about contraception they wouldn't of gotten pregnant, and they wouldn't of trusted the guy at all

[MsRandomBubble]

@ezekielthemack the problem is the church needs to stay out of public education, and let them teach teens what they need to do to protect themselves. Contraception isn't an evil thing. Parents need to stop being afraid to talk to their kids about sex, thats the only reason I knew about it, my mom told me, and I still got pregnant, if i wasn't so against abortion, I would of gotten one, but that was my choice, Im not discouraging it from the girls that should have it.

[robertjosephgreen]

@MsRandomBubble learn what a condom is and ask him to use it next time you want thug dick.

[MsRandomBubble]

@robertjosephgreen Did you not read a thing I wrote in that comment? I was talking about Contraception and condoms, your comment was useless. Also, I don't date thugs, never have, never will, nor do I sleep with them. I used both by the way, Birth control and Condoms, still got pregnant. Nothing is 100% unless your infertile. Grow up, the world is the perfect mistake free place you want it to be.

[kimmie6209]

@MsRandomBubble You are stupid if you think we are going to believe that worn out excuse of I used birth control and condoms and still got pregnant. Contraceptives are 99

% effect women don't just "get pregnant" when using them. I'm sure you would like men to believe though since I've heard of single moms who tired to put a kid on a guy who was using a condom, & he say's no way I was wearing a condom and get's a DNA test which proved he wasn't the father. So don't try to pull that old trick.

[MsRandomBubble]

@kimmie6209 Believe what you want, but there is several statistics that have proven that even with both methods some women still got pregnant, espicially those who are highly fertile like I am. Also im not one of those single mom who has put my kid on anyone. Don't need or want child support, or anything from his father. My fiance is great to him, and no I never ask him for money either. Only in North america will you find this judgement, Nobody cares in England.

[kimmie6209]

@MsRandomBubble I don't give a damn what your statistics say. Who conducted these statistics, who did they interview? A bunch of lying single moms who said they got pregnant while on the pill and using a condom. That's BS and u know it. Contraceptives are 99% effective, which would mean that 1 out of 38 million women would get pregnant while using them. Well, frankly my dear, I don't believe u are that 1 out of 38 million. And the same goes for these other hussy's talking the same crap!

[MsRandomBubble]

@kimmie6209 Your really fucking stupid aren't you? Im not going to explain statistics to you, if you don't even understand how they work and how they research them. Unlike the single moms in your country, British Single moms don't rely on men to do things for us. I can see why your country has a ton of single moms than we do, your men are useless crybabies who think the world owes them a bloody favor.

[coptic777]

" I went from a GED to a Master's and I am MARRIED. I work for the largest IT FInancial company in North America and I have two successful businesses." I laughed when single moms say this BS like its the norm. Most single moms are on gov't aid & thats a fact. I love to see what happens when the republicans cut welfare. We will be seeing a lot of post abortions. By the way most single moms are by choice google "myths about divorce" Most marriages are ended by WOMEN because the law favors them.

[SPARKWISDOM]

@coptic777 I'm not single, I'm married. Thanks for your comment.

[keepingitreal15]

@Sparkwisdom My mom was using birth control and still got Pregnant just ignore the ruthless bitter idiots hating I mean sometimes u use protection and things happen. Anyway like I said be4 I don't feel sorry for u but I do think these people need to ease up off your pussy about it u didn't murder anyone DAMN. Just because I don't feel sorry for someone doesn't mean I think they should be bashed and demonized! LOL some of these same ppl would bash if u had gotten a abortion.U can't win!

[keepingitreal15]

@Sparkwisdom if the baby daddy was black I have no sympathy for you I hope the new boo is of a different race.You have to face reality and pay attention to statistics. I am black and my dad was a dead beat too. I feel bad for your kids but at least they have a step dad. It sucks being the product of a single parent home I think ppl get so angry at single mothers because of what it does to us the children! It really is a awful thing to happen to a kid even if it is by accident.

[ThaWiseMan144]

@keepingitreal15

Self HATE...

Sad.... Caught up in Babylon....

[MsRandomBubble]

Also, I have done surveys on men and single women, and from what I've found out is that, men who refuse to date single moms, are actually the minority. Majority of men I have talked to, said that if they fell in love with her, or that she seemed like someone they would love to date, it wouldn't matter if she had kids or not.

[robertjosephgreen]

@MsRandomBubble No only desperate suckers would date single mothers.If they are smart(like me)(no kids ,educated,responsible,not a thug,law abiding citizen,) there would be no way in he ll that they would lower themselves like that. Single mothers are used up super wide,diseased, coochie that only guys that hit it and quit it want for one or two nights.No real relationship i guarantee you.

[MsRandomBubble]

@robertjosephgreen really? No real relationship? Then explain to me why I have been with a great guy for a year now, I find your hate towards women hilarious, I am not used up, as ive only had sex with the 3 guys, had a csection so superwide is wrong, and im the cleanest girl out of everybody I know. And im not a girl who popped out a ton of kids, I had one, and dont plan on having anymore till Im married. Tell me, what do you think of women who are widows, or girls who got pregnant thier 1st

[robertjosephgreen]

@MsRandomBubble I think that windows are in a whole different class.It is not there fault they are window unless they knew their husbands were thugs or being somewhere they had no business being.And if you mean first time having sex getting pregnant then I think its the women fault because as much as women love sex with well hung guys most women know if you have unprotected sex you can get pregnant.common sense ma.Women always want the wrong guy but the good guy to raise the bastard kids.

[kimmie6209]

@MsRandomBubble Why are you single moms always so willing to have a kid with a different father. You are already a single mother and now you want to give your child a half-sibling. The least you single moms can do is give your kids the unification of having the same parents instead of making matters more complex. I find it embrassising when women say I have 3 kids and someone ask's do they all have the same father. She will usually lie and say yes.

[MsRandomBubble]

@kimmie6209 "I had one, and dont plan on having anymore till Im married", since you seem to have a hard time reading that. Here's a though, stay out of others lives. I have 2 half sisters and that didn't make anything more complex in my life. Your making a mountain out of a molehill. Most kids don't care as long as they have people who love them. My fiance loves my son and no loser on youtube will tell me what to do with my life.

[kimmie6209]

@MsRandomBubble U can wait until u are married, but the child will still have a different dad. Isn't it embarrassing for u women to say, "my children's fathers"? I mean in conversation when I hear women talking about their children & someone may ask, do all ur children have the same dad? & the mom get's offended & say's "of course". My mother had all 8 of her children by the same man & I even get offended when people say things like, wow! Ur mom was busy, etc. I just think it's embarrassing

[MsRandomBubble]

@kimmie6209 Well considering I won't say my "children's fathers", since my sons father died in a Car crash shortly after he was born, and my son is only two, he'll only know of one dad. It takes more then getting a women pregnant to be a dad. As far as im concerned if all the guy did was get the girl pregnant, he was a sperm donor, not a dad or a father.

[MsRandomBubble]

Ok, I'm sick of hearing all these people talking about not having sex out of wedlock, if you didn't want kids. How many of you, who aren't married can say they've not have sex yet? Also, I become pregnant even with using birth control and condoms, and yes from a one night stand.So I made a bad decision, how many of you men out there haven't? I didn't have the heart to terminate my pregnancy. Stop judging, and learn to love your fellow human beings.

[ABeck016]

It seems like a lot of people are slamming single mothers. First, please do not take the judges seat until you have walked a mile in another person’s shoes. Parents are single for many different reasons. Yes, some make poor decisions. They choose to have pre-marital sex and, in turn, must face the consequences. Have all of you NEVER had sex out of wedlock?

[ABeck016]

...it could have happened to you just as easily! Putting that aside...what about those single mothers who conceived their children within the bounds of holy wedlock, yet the other parent did not consider the contract to be quite so holy? I was left by my son’s father one week before he was born. Do I deserve to be trashed and judged because my husband decided that he couldn't handle the responsibilities of his commitment? My point is....please don't judge prematurely.

[ABeck016]

@ABeck016 Whatever the circumstance, all parents, single or otherwise, deserve a little more respect then what is being given in these remarks. Parents are entrusted with the most important jobs in the world...raising the future generation. Everybody deserves happiness and companionship, if they so choose. Everybody deserves a second chance.

[BIGBKELtheGOD]

In my opinion things go in cycles and I think what we are looking at some 30 years or more after the sexual revolution is the Children who were born after it (US) taking a sharper look and criticizing some of the things that came as a result. The Baby Momma/Single Mother Phenomena is one of them. We must remember that prior to the 1980's Single Mothers were evaluated harshly and looked at as whores and harlots despite the circumstance. After years of being looked at differently the cycle turned.

[ApollosInsight]

Typical black female who deflects personal accountability and personal choice off of women.

IMO, any woman who doesn't take any responsibility for her actions by becoming a single mom don't deserve a productive, stable man.

[SPARKWISDOM]

@ApollosInsight Thank God that is YOUR opinion. Thanks for commenting.

[ApollosInsight]

@SPARKWISDOM Actually, I take that back. Your video just proves to every1 that women who become single moms are women who're impulsive, irresponsible and very unintelligent. Yet, most of you single moms still think that you're entitled to a good man and he's supposed to love and accept you, regardless of the irresponsible choices you make w/ your body. Please get out of your fantasy world and start living in THIS one.

[SPARKWISDOM]

@ApollosInsight Dummy (in my Sanford & Son voice) I went from a GED to a Master's and I am MARRIED. I work for the largest IT FInancial company in North America and I have two successful businesses. I even built my home from the ground up. So I guess I fit the group of single more who are "impulsive, irresponsible and very unintelligent." Get out of YOUR fantasy world and start living in THIS one.

[ApollosInsight]

@SPARKWISDOM Good for you on your success, now please remake this video and tell most of these knuckle-headed single moms to TAKE PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY for their bodies instead of defending their ignorance and unaccountability.

Last I checked sex is a CONSCIOUS and VOLUNTARY act, not something that happens spontaneously. If they make their beds, then they should lie in it!

[Jstar141957]

Becoming a single mom is a choice by the young lady. She can easily prevent pregnancy by not becoming sexual with a "boyfriend" and saving it for a "husband". You have 3 kids, damn you really just don't give a damn about having a husband. Just because they have the same dad doesn't make it any better. It just means that you were a fool for one man! Which probably means that he is still lingering around in the background somewhere. A woman like you would be a problem dating or marrying.

[SPARKWISDOM]

@Jstar141957 I am married. I admit, I may have been a fool. Yet, not all single moms are. Many are and have been married.

[producer4real]

Bullshit sweetheart! The strong independent black woman who don't need no man has gotten her wish. Single motherhood. You insult my intelligence with your diatribe of oh well it's everybody even white and asian women. 70% of black children in America are born out of wedlock and you expect us to believe women DON"T CHOOSE? GTFOH! You have 3 kids, are you divorced or a long time baby mama? I'm listening.

[JODYJOE]

yes it is a choice

[MsNicolT]

ignorance is keeping a lot of these young men from putting themselves in a single mothers shoes....

[MsNicolT]

its unbelievable how many hateful responses I've seen from people on here about single mothers. A man will never understand what it does to a women to have a child ripped from here body and torn to shreds by a vacuum or surgical tools so its really shallow to say thats the solution. Sometimes men dont start mistreating a womsn until the child is already here and then she's stuck.So is she wrong for not staying with a cheater, abuser, etc?

[Silkravage]

If a woman doesnt want to have a child she won't have one. Period. This has been told to me by numerous older women who don't care about the lies being told to make men look bad and take all the blame.

The majority of single mothers were not married, didn't have engagement rings, nor was marriage even contemplated by both parties...

[TheCentralQueen]

its funny to me how all this men are saying that they will not date single mothers when most of them have fathered children or dont even know they have children yet they want to restart a fresh life and act as if they never have or had children. You wont date a single mothers but you left a women who has your child(ren).

[dportis47]

Note: Watched this today.

[dznutz1971]

Sparkwisdom..I respect what you say. And I know some of my gripes have been a bit harsh. But you must admit. When you were a young mom and everything in your romance was doing well with the father, you probably were one of those type that passed over a lot of guy longterm guys for the one you chose to start a family with. Only after a women matures do she reflect on the repercussions of her previous poor choices in men.

[ApollosInsight]

Ok, the reason why most of us men will not date a single mother is the same reason why women won't date a man w/o a job:

They're both counter-productive.

Now what I don't understand is that she said that most women who are single mothers don't choose to be that way.

Bullshit!

Every1 knows that it takes two to make a baby.

If these single mothers didn't want to become what they are, then they should've kept their fucking legs closed, plain and simple!

[lovein30days]

Tina, keep up the good work and do not let the ignorant waste your time:)

With Love,

Shay Your Date Diva

[dznutz1971]

@lovein30days Shay..you need to tell you small band of followers that men and women cant have their cake and eat it too. YOU CANT HAVE KIDS BY ANYONE OTHER THAN THE RIGHT PERSON. Kid free men DO NOT want to buy used cars, unless that's all they can afford.

[dcbama3209]

And its all because of feminism!!!

[jblackmel]

Most women "do" make the choice. Women trap the men into having children. women have 100% control over whether they want to have a child or not. Not only do women have over 10 forms of birth control, but they are aware of their ovulation cycle and the window within which they can get pregnant. Secondly, your argument is flawed in with you saying "what if your mom, aunt...was a single mom." Well, I'm not dating them so it doesn't matter.

[Machelle3200]

Good video..what makes me mad is the stuff i keep hearing about "they should have picked better men"....well if most black children are being raised by single mothers, what does that say about the men...To me it says that most of our men our just unstable for family life....you can be married to someone for years, and still not know the man....stuff happens in life...everybody's life is different.....

[TJ347]

It depends how old the single mom is, how well behaved (or not) her kids are, how many kids she has and how old they are, the situation with their father(s) and what other options I have. I'm 33, so I know that the chances of finding a woman my age with no kids is low. Still, I'm not moving into an instant family situation. No sense in getting into a situation I know isn't going to go anywhere.

[jr543266]

A Spade is a Spade........Single mothers ARE single mothers. .....period....Why on earth would a man with no kids, a great job, a college degree even LOOK at a single mother?? Can't he do MUCH better?? Why would a man WANT to WALK into that much baggage??? The reason "MOST" single men would never date a single mother is becuase that is NOT the type of woman they would want to ever marry.......and why DATE a person you know you would NEVER MARRY??

[NDEYAH2000]

@jr543266 @Jstar141957 What you men fail to realize is that most of those women who you feel are so well adjusted, responsible and "moral" because they aren't single mothers have had SEVERAL abortions!! They merely chose to take the easy way out instead of being real women and having their child. You tell me, how can a woman truly love you, if she doesn't even love the child growing inside of her enough not to kill it?

[tannalv]

It's called abortion. If you don't have one you choose to be a single mother.

It's that simple.

I've dated a single mom. She didn't care as much for her baby as she did about herself. Heh, _I_ even cared more for her boy (aged three) than she did!

I will never ever do that again.

Any woman who chooses to be a single mother is selfish.

And that's my opinion.

[SPARKWISDOM]

@tannalv that's not very nice. So, a woman in a committed relationship or marriage that thens divorces should have had an abortion? It's not a woman OR man's choice when the mate chooses to be an abuser, adulter or is addicted and separation is inevitable. I guess everyone in your family tree must be in tact. No one marries hoping for a divorce. Sounds like you just had a BAD encounter. Since she as you say was "selfish" I'll say thank you for her since you cared for her boy.

[msgilliam1474]

@tannalv isolated incident

[tannalv]

@msgilliam1474 Single mothers are no longer "isolated incidents", no. There are too many of them. Single mothers are NOT "strong women", they are pathetic losers who can't find a real man and hence they bring up children in a no good enviroment. I feel sorry for the children of single mothers. I really do.

[nena702nona]

@tannalv u kant seriously be this full of shit! those single mother tht are working ther asses off to make a gud living 4 there kids are way better parent then a mommy and a daddy that really doesnt wanna be ther. and they r not losers nor pathetic kus they dnt have a man kus they realy dont need one! and why u tlk bout single mothers like there aint no single dads out there! jus kus u came across a single mother who didnt care 4 her kid dnt give u da right to give all single mothers a bad name

[tannalv]

@nena702nona It's not dodo, nena-nona. It's the reality. A lot of women use men to have a child on their own.

In this way they hurt the child and they hurt the man they use this way.

Yes, single mothers are selfish.

[sareenagreen2010]

@tannalv So, you claim it's selfished based off your experience from your bad judge of character? hmmm...

[SPARKWISDOM]

The question now is: Once the kids are grown, would she be considered a single mom or just single? Hmmm...wonder if that single momma would be consider a choice date then. Remember, the divorce rate in the U.S. is still higher than 50%.

[snipermg6]

It matters a whole lot how you became a single mother...there is a difference between a widow and someone who got pregnant from a one night stand with Tyrone from the block...

I as a single man without children would never take care of irresponsible Tyrone's seed....nor should i be expected to....but MOST of the single moms are looking for some good guy to help them with another man's kids.....please.

[rockb922]

if my toilet is broken, and I hire an electrician, who's fault is it that the toilet didn't get fixed???

If you didn't choose to sleep because of his ability to be a father, then you inadvertantly chose to be a single mother.

and fyi.....70% of single moms were NEVER MARRIED.

[helihellraiser]

@rockb922

I agree with this comment.

[snipermg6]

um...church...why is she making it as if most of these wome were Suzy homemaker then they had kids and got divorced...please...the MAJORITY of these ladies were irresponsible....its silly ....and that means they are bad decision makers/liabilities...and I m gonna take on her kids?? please

[noizefloor]

Choosing to have a baby without being married = cvhoosing to be a single mother. I don't think people are talking about the women who became widows when they talk about avoiding the mentality that leads to a woman becoming a single mother; obviously that's not a choice. And if you have two kids with a man who has not married you, having a third will not seal the deal. Better women make better choices.

[noizefloor]

Why is having kids before you get married considered normal now?

[MissAmerica2008]

I absolutely agree. Same thing I was thinking...

[SPARKWISDOM]

@missamerica2008 thank you.

[helihellraiser]

She is a single mom, so the fuck what. At least she has her shit together, and isn't stuck up.

[helihellraiser]

I think you guys are being too hard on this lady. She is a single mom, because she probably chose to be with a low life dude who neglected his responsibility. Nothing is going change that. Instead of you dudes bashing women like her, maybe you guys should bash women who intentionally financially use men. At least this single mom has a job and can support herself . Why are you guys so hard on her?

[hiclaude]

@helihellraiser

The best way to stop any unwanted behavior is to not accept it. Plain and simple. If people continue to consider this acceptable behavior, the niggerism will continue. I'm not even gonna begin to dissect the rest of your commentary. It's giving me a headache.

[helihellraiser]

@hiclaude

You're correct, and that is why I choose to be alone and stay clear of Black women who feel that they can put a man in friend's zone, but use him financially. This lady might be a single mother, but at least she can hold her own. I have dealt with Black women I wish you guys would roast, but I only see you guys bashing women who are independent.

[hiclaude]

@helihellraiser

You're right. She can hold her own. She doesn't have much choice. Her 'baby daddy' isn't even trying to offer any financial support.

And who is "you guys"? Right is not coming onto YouTube defending f-ed up behavior. Her case may be an exception to the majority, but it is far from the rule. And I'm sure "you guys" also "bash" golddiggers. Let's be real, if you marry this chick you WILL end up pulling out your wallet for her kids eventually. You STILL LOSE!

[helihellraiser]

@hiclaude

I am not defending the actions of this lady. She is still doing better than most Black women who are single moms. I commend her for that. A man or woman should never marry a single parent unless he or she is prepared to pay child support if there is a divorce.

I am not talking about legitimate gold diggers. I am talk about women who prey on men for their hard earned money, and not do anything for them in return.

[SPARKWISDOM]

@helihellraiser thank you for your kind comments. This is why I made this video and founded a non-profit. The nasty a** gold diggers mess it up for us all. Reminds me of terrorism. One person, one act, changes the thinking and course of an entire nation. Scares men into thinking all single moms are these whoremongers and skanks. Truth is, some are kind women and most of the men are "good" men until they decide that the grass is greener on the other side.

[helihellraiser]

@SPARKWISDOM

Good men do not abandon in order to get with another woman. The rest of your comment was on point.

[SPARKWISDOM]

@helihellraiser Hmmm...good point. Thanks for your comments! I agree to disagree. What was Robyn Moore thinking when she married Mel Gibson...After 28 years of marriage a DIVORCE. Their youngest child...9...hmmm she's a single mom. Mel is now with the other woman. I'm just not sure that there is a definitive answer.

[helihellraiser]

@hiclaude

I would rather be with a woman like the one in the video than a broke as chick with no kids, and who is probably playing me in order to get me to give her money. Like or not, but when it comes to Black women the ones with kids are more responsible and sympathetic towards others. Black women who don't have kids are self centered, and only care about themselves and what a man can financially give them. With that being sad, I would rather date outside my race or outside the country.

[helihellraiser]

@helihellraiser

Who can bring more to the table...

A single mom with her own place, own car, and a decent salary

or

A woman who doesn't have kids, unemployed, is always asking you to drive her somewhere, and is asking you for $20-$40 bucks everyday. I am a working class brother and not an elitist. I can't afford to be giving a chick $20-$40 everyday.

[hiclaude]

@helihellraiser

Why would you settle for either of those scenarios?

For example, I'm sure it's better to die by lethal injection than burning to death.

[helihellraiser]

@hiclaude

Those are the only scenarios that are available to me. It's either the financially stable single mom or the hood rat who will bring me down a long with her. If I ever do finish school my options for women will be better, but 9 times out of 10 I will treat those women like dogshit, because they rejected me for not having a college degree and making a certian amount of money.

[gwynplane723]

@helihellraiser

Dude, why bring up such slanted choices?

Number 1. a single mother is a single mother i.e. a woman who will never place you number 1 in her life and is wasted goods.

Number 2: I'm sure you can come up with a childless woman with better characteristics than that. Don't defend single mothers by bringing up shitty childless women.

[helihellraiser]

I understand your frustration with single mothers. However I can't throw stones at women like Sparkswisdom, because I have made mistakes caused profound setbacks. I have also suffered at the hands of so-called professional when I was still a minor. I am not defending this lady, but I am not going to defame her or degrade her, because she fell for a guy who fucked her over. I have had bad experiences with Black single moms, so I can see where you are coming from

[gwynplane723]

It's not about "degrading" anyone, it's about holding them accountable and not throwing them a pity party. Chicks like her weren't forced to be with these men and they need to to grasp the fact that life is final and the decisions you make can't be undone.

Sorry, but this whole "I'm doing it alone" jive won't get no sympathy from me.

[helihellraiser]

I do not think this lady is expecting a pity party

[snipermg6]

@helihellraiser Pity party or not, the problem is that single mothers want us to accept a situation that is wrong in the first place.....the majority of single moms made poor choices and are now in this situation...no one should get involved it was her dumb choice and fault....

[gwynplane723]

@helihellraiser

Dude, where have you been? Most black women with children are the most callous, trifling people around. Many of them put up the veneer of the "struggling indepenent black mother" just to get sympathy. Don't be fooled.

If you have to date a used up loser with wombturds to find happiness, you need to reevaluate your standards.

[helihellraiser]

I know exactly how you feel. I have dealt with Black single moms who used the "struggling independent Black mother defense". I watched her actions, and I saw why she was struggling and alone. She would play brothers like me and you, and run to a thug who didn't even have a pot to piss in. In other words, she would be taking care of child and a grown ass man.

[SPARKWISDOM]

@hiclaude I live in my own home in an upper middle class neighborhood, I make more than most 2 parent families and my kids are taken care of. Anyone that marries me will most likely be stepping UP, thank you.

The reason I am the "exception" to the norm is because most single moms like me, do re-marry. I work FT and I founded a non-profit FOR Single Parents and I DO NOT have a BABY DADDY! He is the father of our 3 whether he chooses to pay or not.

[Jstar141957]

@SPARKWISDOM You are that rare example that continues to trip black women into having out of wedlock births as a way of claiming "independence"! I bet that even you will have problem raising your kids without a dad.

[gwynplane723]

@helihellraiser

What does "Independence" have to do with anything? What are these women doing for the black community other than facilitating and enabling self-destructive behavior. I'm sorry, but even if they do manage to raise their children on their own, single mothers are a very BAD example to go buy.

[helihellraiser]

Good point, but what has anyone done for the Black community?

[gwynplane723]

@helihellraiser

I'm just saying that single mothers get undeserved clout in the black community for doing absolutely NOTHING (positive anyway).

[helihellraiser]

You're correct about single mothers getting undeserved clout, but there gang bangers who get their ass beat by the cops get sympathy from the Black community.

[helihellraiser]

@hiclaude

BTW, I meant financially independent. If you guys want to bash women, go bash unscrupulous women who punk blue collar Black men out of their hard earned money.

[gwynplane723]

Uuumm, newsflash how the fuck can it not be your choice unless you were raped or widowed? For one thing, most single moms these days are women who've never been married. The ones who have been married and divorced are usually the ones initiating divorce. And either way it goes, these women just have bad taste in men and don't understand the value of chastity. Don't sit up in here lashing out at men who don't want to put up with your children by another man cause real men know what they're worth.

[snipermg6]

um church....that is what I am saying...a real woman controls what enters her....meaning she will MAKE a man use protection....also the whole shaming a man to take on another man's seed is played...there is a problem with a single mother when it comes to dating...she already has started a family....

Now most men won t deal with another man always being in your life. Some may..but it should not be looked at as a negative.a single mother is not as high in relationship value as a woman without kid

[snipermg6]

She is trying to say that the majority of single mothers between ages 18 -35 are single moms from divorces....

GTFOH

[SPARKWISDOM]

@snipermg6 Excuses are tools of incompetence that build mounds of nothingness...I offer NO excuses. I've been married, I've been divorced...doesn't matter. I'm still a single parent. Who cares how I became one?

[gwynplane723]

Regardless of how you become one, single mothers are single mothers. And despite what you say, most are that way by choices they made.

[snipermg6]

Yet you failed to say married....and still fail to see that your situation is far from the norm....

The MAJORITY of BW getting pregnant between 18 - 35 ARE NOT in your situation....and MOST of them got pregnant from being irresponsible...and their child's father was not in a relationship with them for 5 years....come on now....

[gwynplane723]

That's rich. Illegitimacy is the norm for Black American women which is a very harsh indictment to their quality as women. Single mothers just want pity parties and men aren't going to give it to them.

They need to learn how to:

Keep their slut legs closed

Choose better men

Get married BEFORE having children

Stop divorcing their husbands and live with the choices they made.

[helihellraiser]

@gwynplane723

I do not agree with SPARKWISDOM if she thinks Black men who aren't single dads should take care of another Black man's child. However, she isn't saying that about herself She has her own money, so therefore she doesn't need a man to financially support her kids. No man should have to support another man's kids just like no woman should have to support another woman's kids.

[snipermg6]

Sista of course you don t think about being a single mom....you sleep with dude raw......

....and then think that NATURE

wont apply to you...

[SPARKWISDOM]

@snipermg6 Yea...after a 5 year committed relationship and living in the same household...how could I be so foolish? A decade and 3 kids later...what was I thinking? Nature applied to me...wow...thanks for pointing it out. I'm a lot smarter now.

[helihellraiser]

@SPARKWISDOM

Stop defending yourself. You got more going for yourself than most Black women in your age group. Personally, I would rather date a single mom who has a job, than a woman who doesn't have kids but lacks employment.

[theshadowranger]

I've seen a lot a single moms where I grew up. It was always women having unprotected out of wedlock sex with no good men. I've never heard of a deadbeat dad who was a doctor, or lawyer, or college professor. It's always been guys that haven't done anything productive with their lives.

I've also never seen a single in which she met a man, then married him, then had children, then the man left her or he died. In that order

[SPARKWISDOM]

@theshadowranger I agree, I made the choice. I had sex at 18 with a man that I thought I would spend the rest of my life with. More than a decade later, we have 3 kids and I'm single.You're also right, when I met him he had a great job and was a great guy. He unfortunately lost his job after a sickness and became a "no good" man.

[SPARKWISDOM]

@theshadowranger Guess I was searching for a father since I didn't meet my dad until I was 18 in prison (where he still is today). Maybe I was also looking for a mother since my mother abandoned me at the age of 1. Or maybe I just needed a place to stay since I was homeless at the age of 16. Hmmm...you be the judge since you seem to be able to do it so well. Thanks for your comments. I appreciate it.

[helihellraiser]

@theshadowranger

If a man isn't a doctor, lawyer, or college professor, he is considered worthless. I love the way Black men think. BTW I am being sarcastic. You're thinking just like the same Black women you accuse of being "ankles".

[theshadowranger]

it's not about the profession. It's the amount of responsibility and work involved to become one of those professions. Becoming one of those things requires years of college. College is hard work and requires a high level of responsibility. I'm an elementary school English teacher and that took a lot of work to gain the credentials to have that job. Being a doctor requires a lot more. The point is that most of these single moms are single moms because they chose irresponsible men. (Contd.)

[helihellraiser]

@theshadowranger

A college degree doesn't automatically mean a dude is going to be responsible and moral. I have personal experience that can back this up, and there is proof in the news media that back that up. You have to do a little better than that.

[Jstar141957]

@helihellraiser I agree, there are blue collar men who make perfect fathers! A college degree doesn't guarantee anything.

[theshadowranger]

You have to ask the question, what was the man doing with his life when the woman had sex with him? Was he doing something that shows that he has a high level of responsibility. Responsible men don't abandon their children. I think that Sparkwisdom's story is different but it is not the norm. Also I'm not sure what an Ankle is but I'm not accusing anyone of anything. I'm just stating what I have seen in my own life.

[helihellraiser]

@theshadowranger

Don't worry about the "ankle thing". I was accusing you of acting like women who belittle Black men for not making enough money or being college educated. Responsibility is something can't be taught in a learning institution. It can only be taught at home and through experience.

[theshadowranger]

When we say choice. They mean that you chose to have sex with a man. When you have sex there is a chance of pregnancy. When you choose to do something,in this case have sex, you accept all of the possible results of that action, in this case a pregnancy. usually the guy was no good when she met him but she had out of wedlock sex with him anyway. That's the majority of the cases. My mother was also a single mom. But I can admit that she made poor choices in men.(to be continued)

[theshadowranger]

I think you got me wrong. I'm not judging you. I'm just explaining what I and many others have seen in the majority of single mother cases. Your story is different. But it isn't the norm. I guess we could call you an exception to the rule. Thank you for your response.

[nriccaboni]

Yeah, it's annoys me too. My mother was a single parent too!

[SPARKWISDOM]

It's WAY overrated! Glad I'll be able to hang up the "banner" soon :)