Sometimes I wonder why I'm so different from everyone and cannot communicate easily with others. But I really don't know. I feel like I could have something and should get evaluated for it.
Thank you for making this. So much. This is my bad day and though I tried to find pictures of cats to deflect my bad press, I found you. My proxy. You'll have to be my face, because mine won't make the right face right now.
the same for me, the image people have about me is based upon a character i play just like you say it. most people collegues etc... notice sometimes some strangeness to me allthough i try to disguise my hidden issue as good as i can. nice to find somebody similar because most of the things in this video i've been through also.
I am right there in the same boat as you. I can say "I know how you feel" and ABSOLUTELY MEAN IT. It's just so... I want to say awkward or foreign, but it doesn't completely fit... it's so different. Ok, watching you talk in this video, you have said all kinds of stuff I wish I could have verbalized. It's like watching "me with a different face" talking. So close to an out of body experience that it's bordering insanity. I will say this. I reach out to you in the most genuine way possible. If y
Thanks for this video it captures alot of what I feel during "those" days. I will soon be going for the AS test as I myself am a prime candidate for the AS test. anyways side tracking here
thanks for the video and display of emotion capturing another persons pain and expression of inner conflict
I've had Asperger's since I was 8. I understand what you are going through cuz I've been through it. It's really sad that not too many people understand what we go through. And I agree with everything you've said :) We Aspies gotta stick together.
@PrincessCassi1988 Since you were 8? I dont want to sound rude but all the people I have met with AS or Autism or PDDNOS (including myself xP ) have had any of the previously stated conditions since childbirth, so Im just curious to know how what you said is possible :P Of course dont reply if you dont want to answer to some weirdo (Me), im just super nosey :)
PS Love these vids AnMish, continue with greatness :D
@PrincessCassi1988 Ah, ok, that makes sense then xP Apologies for being non-conclusive...or something, not good with language :P Have a Nice Day, whoever you are :)
Even without Aspergers it's difficult to function well in a group of people. Therefore I have so much respects for people with austism/aspergers who do manage to function as the rest. Keep up the good work and when you have bad days.. allow yourself to have them, cuz it's hard enough already
I think in the end everybody puts a front....play a character like you say, im very socially awkward and socially anxious but i dont let it show. Im not aspie though, im just a good actor :P
I discovered I am an Aspie while ago... I cannot date had a short disastrous marriage. I have very special interest in experimental music... I cannot drive a car and am very clumsy.. I cannot tolerate discos and loud noises. I find social connection very energy draining. I cannot relate to your strong emotions but I understand the need to withdrawal which I have sometimes.
Finally I found people like me, no friends, no calls phones, no..., I keep my mascarade, the other think that I´m normal but I´m not.
It´s dificults to explain but I read something like that the autism have connection with leakygut and other sick of the gut like candida and yest. It´s possible?
I was wondering if there is a pattern to your Aspie symptoms? It sounds like stress intensifies your Aspie symptoms. Or maybe it is more that stress erodes your energy and makes it difficult for you to maintain the facade of being NT? I don't blame you at all for pretending to be NT because you probably experienced a lot of rejection when you did not keep up the facade. Thanks, again, for sharing.
Can i ask you a question? Do you ever feel like an impostor? I too have learned to act neurotically or normal. I am not as good an actor as you but I've manage to keep it under control to enough to have a job and one or two friends. The only problem is i feel so depressed about it sometimes, I feel like an impostor. like im fooling those around me. It is one of the reasons why I can not have a relationship, It would feel like im fooling the other person into believing im someone im not.
LOOK I WILL JUST GIVE U ONE COMMENT IF U DON'T LIKE ACTING SO WHY U ACT? LOOK U CAN ACCEPT UR SYNDROM LIKE NORMAL AND LIVE WITH IT AND I AM SURE THERE WILL BE PEOPLES WHO WILL ACCEPT YOU BECAUSE IT'S YOU AND WHEN U SAID THAT FOR OSCAR I BECOME MAD BECAUSE OTHERS ARE NOT FAULT FOR UR ACTING IT'S UR CHOOSE WILL U ACT OR NO BUT MY ANSWER IS PLEASE DON'T ACT AND RELAX URSELF BE WHAT YOU ARE AND U WON'T BE CLOSED IN HOUSE NEVER ... AND IF U DON'T WANT IT'S AGAIN UR CHOICE BUT I JUST WANT SEE U ASPIE
LOOK I WAS SEARCHING FOR SYNDROMS AND ALL THOSE PEOPLES ACT LIKE NORMAL AND I DON'T WANT THAT!!!!!!!!!!!!! I WANT SEEE SOMEONE WITH REALLY ASPERGER SYNDROM AND I THINK THE BEST WAY IS TO WATCH MOVIE MY NAME IS KHAN THE MAIN CHARACTER HAVE ASPERGER'S SYNDROM AND HE REALLY GOOD ACT IT I THOUGHT HE REALLY HAVE IT AND I WANT SEE SOMEONE RECORDING VIDEO LIKE WHAT HE IS AND HERE EVERYONE HAVE EYE CONTACT :/ I REALLY DON'T UNDERSTAND ... PLEASE SOMEONE RECORD VIDEO LIKE THAT EVEN WITH FRIEND
"I hate making this video. I'm going to stop now. Have a great day!" I hear the echoes of myself trying to be socially acceptable when it was really a struggle. Wow. That was powerful. Do not be embarrassed by this video because it is good. VERY good. You are both blessed and cursed to have a beautiful face, because NTs are drawn to that and will want to believe that you reflect them because of it. I can't help but look *and* act like a geek most of the time.
How can you be so effective pretending? thats a good thing. I mean, any useful advice would be veeeeery welcomed. Unfortunately, I just noticed this thing in me just about this year.... after 43 wondering what was wrong. Now I know there is no fix, so lets get reallistic, the practical thing to do is to pretend. Really, a few weeks ago I noticed that real happiness, at least part of it, is just *not* to be noticed... because we all really know what happen when people start to observe you.
@TheAnMish Have you ever in the workplace or school beeen told to do something that you do not enjoy and have no interest in and find it very hard to focus on it wanting to move on to other things, and you are chastised for it?.
@TheAnMish, you seem bent on wanting to be an "Aspie" but have you considered that you may be "suffering" from a high I.Q. that you haven't learned how to fully cope with? Just an impression, based on how you speak and ponder things. Very smart people often feel psychotic because they can't stop thinking about concepts!
Average dullards (many of whom have degrees) can be put off by true higher-thinkers and realists, so they automatically want to diagnose them with something
I found this by way of associated Bartlett overpopulation videos and was not expecting this much intensity!
Toward the middle of this video is probably the deepest angst I've ever seen on YouTube. Yes, you definitely feel, and you're very bright, but please hold it together! There is such a thing as too much self-involvement.
I have emotions oright the only time I don't is when I'm expected to show empathy because I feel overloaded or don't know what to do if a person is crying or upset.
Asperger Syndrome is a neurobiological disorder on the higher-functioning end of the autism spectrum. An individual's symptoms can range from mild to severe.
Their IQ's are typically in the normal to very superior range. They are usually educated in the mainstream, but most require special education services.
Because of their naivete, those with AS are often viewed by their peers as "odd" and are frequently a target for bullying and teasing.
I never saw someone being sad for being normal :P it is like you are enjoying the fact that you have this thing, and i think that is cool, means you already understood your disease and you are not like these other guys on the net saying that their lifes sucks :) you are cool, really really cool :) so don't cry, cus you should not be worried about what they say or think about you...cus you have aspie.
Thanks for uploading this video., It is good to see the invisible truth about aspergers. I work in an intership as a social worker. Colleagues often ask me to show more of the way I work. While I work right under their noses and tell them anything. It is as if they dont want to see the truth.
Colleagues tell me they totally accept me being an aspie, but they will not accept any restrictions. It is good to be accepted but I wonder if they even realise what they are saying...
Bringing awareness to autism is an amazing thing to do. I've created this Youtube channel to promote this new independent film called White Frog. It's about a young boy who has aspergers a form of autism. Please help spread the word with me. To watch the trailer type in "White Frog movie trailer 2" on youtube. Thank you.
I have ADHD, with some strong OCD leanings, and am also a graduate student in Developmental Psychology. The number of times other people hear that and immediately decide that because I made it through school that I am simply further evidence that ADHD is overdiagnosed and I was done a great wrong, because I obviously have no problem... well people make that assumption a lot. The reality is that people just do not see me on the bad days either.
I feel your frustration, it seems most people-whatever ur issue and if its diagnosed or not, whether it impacts on your life somwhat or greatly, (and they are arrogant enough to think they know how much it 'should') just want to judge in ways that fulfill their egos. I hope for the day when the many with thier ignorance become the few. In the mean while, try not to energise this with your focus to the point you find it debilitating, I know I give too much power to these ****s!
doesnt everybody act in some way.life is just a movie in wich u r the leading role.you write your own scrpit.you choose to be who you want to be .thats why different kinds of people from different places act different isnt it!?
Im an Aspie but whaaaat do u do when not even ur fam or ur husbands understnds you ??? What do I do? .... I try to be like normal but even when I have to fake a smile it hurst so much.
What i've found over my life time of having autism, is normal people don't actually respect us. i mean to them we're just things to beat up or test or even experiment on. i had to go from the age of 4 to the age of 14 getting tested on for autism and getting seen by Doctors who gave me medicine which destroyed my feelings and made me become a husk, one day a doctor found out what the medication was doing to me and took it off me telling me if i kept taking it, i'd die before i turn 15.
@Gaslydeath from the age of 15 - 18 i went to the hospital for more tests which also lead to local gangs finding out who i am and what was wrong with me which sent me to the hospital more times than anyone cared to know. i think i was 16 when the doctors had said the chances of me surviving was about 20%, 6 years later i don't trust people and tend to make sure i stay miles away from anyone due to the living hell they gave me, even tho i was diagnosed at 14 the doctors kept on at me
not anymore tho. it stopped when i was 18.. and i meant 6 years later from 16 not 18 as i'm only 22.. but meh it stopped because i know a good few people i had helped from doing odd jobs for them to pretty much risking my own life to save them. so they returned a few favours. and now i rarely come in contact with others and tend to like being miles away from any towns. i currently live in a small village type area and where i go to calm down is 14 miles away from where i live
@MrSkynetAdmin i have autism and i won't rise up to take people down. i mean due to my autism and the way my life was fucked up i've become one of the most defensive people known throughout my town, and due to the way i think and work i've ended up risking my own life to rescue others. i know i do it, but why i do it, is unknown. however it has had an effect on my life.
@MrSkynetAdmin its ok.. i've learnt how to be more than people are these days.. they keep saying evolution will make us better, does that mean i've evolved? as i do not require technology to get me to where i go wherever it may be, yet i have a full understanding on all technology, also it takes me between 10 mins - 2 hours to learn stuff then i'm fairly good at it. but yeah the way i've lived when i was younger made hospitals not so fun.. especially last year 5 days after my 21st Bday
@Gaslydeath mainly because 16 weeks of pain started then. having my jaw put back in place after what some people did to me, it wasn't a nice feeling then they said they'd have to remove most of my teeth and make the rest metal.. so now i have metal in my teeth and can't walk past magnets without it interfering with my teeth. all i can say is, i might not have a girl friend due to the way i live, but where i go would make others cry from the beauty of it. i even have pictures on my mobile..
@MrSkynetAdmin just need a way to get the pictures off my mobile and into a slide show.. but knowing the way slide shows are done on here people will probably have a go at me.. sadly its the way that lives go these days.. but still nothing like walking up a place at 4am with nothing but a bag with extra clothes in, in case it gets cold some hot drink in a flask then watching the sun rise miles above the town you live in. its like something magical when the sun is rising
wow from what i've seen from your videos, you are very inspiring. your absolutely gorgeous, courageous, and incredibly intelligent. i just wish you could show the real you. aspergers and all. i dont think anyone would disapprove, and if they do, who gives a shit. Your beautiful no matter what.
wow from what i've seen from your videos, you are very inspiring. your absolutely gorgeous, courageous, and incredibly intelligent. i just wish you could show the real you. aspergers and all. i dont think anyone would disapprove, and if they do, who gives a shit. Your beautiful no matter what.
wow from what i've seen from your videos, you are very inspiring. your absolutely gorgeous, courageous, and incredibly intelligent. i just wish you could show the real you. aspergers and all. i dont think anyone would disapprove, and if they do, who gives a shit. Your beautiful no matter what.
wow from what i've seen from your videos, you are very inspiring. your absolutely gorgeous, courageous, and incredibly intelligent. i just wish you could show the real you. aspergers and all. i dont think anyone would disapprove, and if they do, who gives a shit. Your beautiful no matter what.
The problem with acting NT is that the NTs in your life (even those who live with you) forget that your emotional and intellectual life is completely different than theirs, and they freak out when you let the act slip and they see the real you.
I think you think NT care about your syndrome...NO WE DON'T! You're smart, courageous, intelligent, beautiful, creative...The list goes on. People like you for you, not because you're playing some stupid NT role, so you say.
It shits me that you hide your bad days...Just be yourself dude. You're fucking awesome, know that. You have a problem but so do millions of others in life. I don't think you should change to a NT just because there are more of us... BE YOURSELF.
haha You don't have to play a role, the secret is that you must impose your emotions. Try to dare it, and if people aren't happy with your strange feelings, just shout and become crazy. You have to lead others to your tiny and dirty internal room, never try to come to them. TRY IT! Protect yourself, don't be a comedian, you have to DAAAARE, and don't be sad like this, it hurts me. Okay I m another youtube comment, but just dare what you always feared : get out of yourself!! YEEEEEES you can!
In the video, between 05:35 - 05:40 you look down and tear something off of something. The object is a small white circle. My question is, what is the small white circle?
so how are you as yourself, as an aspie ? when you're not pretending to be neurotypical. what goes through your mind ? how do you act ? what is your "normal" ?
@zarehara Well the thing is for me at least the act is being dull, expressing already learned expressions not exactly what we feel but what is most "normal" for that moment. That's is my entire act when I'm with friends always thinking on what I'm going to say, never just saying something random everything is evaluated and said with precaution the same goes with my act.
@zarehara But what you really want to know is how we consider our "normal" yet whenever I think of it I just come up with an empty shell, I think the only time i can really feel the "normal" is when I do what I love or express it to someone I can trust and doesn't judge me for what I am. I really have no freaking clue how I am out in public when I'm "normal" its just no place for it.
@Melchersson I honestly don't try to adapt that much, I'm more considering what to say a lot to prevent saying something rude or un-funny, since something funny in my head usually ends up in coming out a disaster, however if I meet new people I usually put my character on for a moment to try to understand how they work befor I relax down a bit. Bit safe play, however Im still actually thinking of this. Befor I answered the comment below I hadn't really though that much about it.
Part VI- "We Feel"- Yes, to such an intensity that we become stunned, sometimes appearing lifeless (i.e., perception of flat affect.) With me, high anxiety is a constant; relaxation and privacy becomes a necessity. Emotions brim over with such fluidity that it shorts out the circuitry when one laughs, but cannot sense the ecstasy, and when one cries, but does't wash away the pain. -- thank you for your patience, reader.
Part IV continued- You are a good person for 3 reasons: 1- You know how difficult it is to do good and you practice it; 2- because we can't do good all the time, sometimes doing good isn' good enough, so we learn to do better; and 3- because you learn to do better, you have not surrendered that desire to be and do good. All of us search for our better and greater Selves. The to-do lists and priorities differ.
Part IV- 'You don't know what it's like'- Yes, we do. Many of your readers are Aspie also. We live it, just as you do. We remember and hurt as you do. Emotionally burned memories play like a runaway movie projector, and at times we feel helpless to stop it. You're not alone; someone out there is hurting with you.
Part III- NT acceptance and difficult to own AS as a fact- We work hard to earn our acceptance, and we often become the last one to accept ourselves. Being matter-of-fact makes me an awareness tool, and I don't have to look over my shoulders. As a culture difference, I had to learn how to speak 'NT' and find those who can interpret Aspie language. I sense a lot of pain in you: memories you don't want, memories emotionally burned in for a lifetime. Still, you're a good person- I'll explain--
Part II- Fall flat on one's face- I keep reminding myself that no one sees my internal script of responses and to keep interactions short. It seems I'm regularly on my guard to protect myself from the likes of me. Although my intent is to give my brain some quality time to be itself, the isolation and depression can be addicting. It can be destructive to be alone with one's pain. For me, it's the anticipatory anxiety that drains my battery and I completely shut down.
I have many comments for this video that needs more than 500 characters. So, I'll address them (linearly) one at a time Part I- NT Actor- Good for you. Every person needs acceptance, and, as an Aspie, I tend to help others feel comfortable through scripted, 'appropriate' behaviors. Of course, this is an exhausting ordeal. As though each person interacted with has their own rules of engagement, and being 'found out' mixes the info until it's useless to go on with the show.
who are you? i didn't think there was anyone who acted and had the same views i do i thought i was a one of a kind aspie who hid his true self from everyone out of fear of being an outcast you basically made a 10 min video of my life
Thanks for that video, its very brave of you to make it. If NTs understood how the world receives Aspies when they act totally naturally then they would get why learning to imitate NT behaviour is such a crucial survival skill. I am kind of amazed at your 'authenticity' though; I think I come across as relatively 'normal' in most interactions but I could never be like you are on video.
I am a “HSP”, and (many) people mistake “HSP” for autism, as Dr. Elaine Aron says that they do. I had that happening to me with a psychologist (who clearly did not know HSP).
HSP’s are extremely empathic (so much that it hurts), and they are probably the first persons that can (somewhat) imagine what an Aspie goes through.
Fellow Aspie here. You have an awesome collection of videos, and more often than not you're also speaking my story. When it comes to days where I'm more Aspie than NT (for lack of a better thing to call it), I go about my business anyway and get a few extra odd looks from some, but those who know me know it's just part of who I am (even if they don't know I'm an Aspie). Also, thank you ending all your videos with "Have a nice day" and waving. I do that routinely too.
just be yourself, fuck anyone who doesnt accept you for who you are. ive met people who had asperger syndrome and it didnt matter to me that they had it, i looked deeper into who they were and liked them for their personalities.
I feel like you are speaking for me and I don't think I would have the courage to do what you did in this video! I just discovered your videos recently and am enjoying/relating to each one. Thank you so much, I don't feel quite so alone anymore.
Wow....One of the best real life moments I've ever observed on video!!! You're truly helping mankind with your videos. Please continue putting out these amazing videos!!! Everyone out there...please share this video with all your friends!!! It's truly eye-opening stuff!!! Heart-wrenching moments yes...but valuable indeed!!! Young lady...again...you're one brave soul!!! Adonai...Baagit8!!!
Young sister....you're what's known as an Indigo or Crystal Child. You're an extremely brave spirit. This 3D realm is extremely difficult on you loving souls. I hope you'll investigate this truth for yourself. There's great love here for you beautiful young sister!!! Adonai...Baagit8!!!
We do have emotions and use emotions, the problem is we dont understand emotions of other people. An we do act like NTs and sadly because of this people sometime misteak us for having multiple personailies lol
Cont - Pps he has AS. sorry for typing so much, should have sent a msg instead. I hope you dont mind if i share this. cos your words, its like me talking through someone else (hope you dont mind me saying). can i also ask if like me you often communicate how you really feel through the likes of music? and do you ever go down the road of depression? i think all this needs said to those idiot therapists in britain who missdiagnose over 100 women ever year, because they "seem normal" arseholes!
P.s Although we are both proberably different as individuals, as live different lives, we've both known our whole lives what people were just to ignorant to see. Its so hard for women as alot of us often have the same tale. Its why i strive to be an actress. Its not sympathy as such, but your vid is one of the true ones that actually spoke to me. one of the ones that made better sense. the best Aspie experts, are those who have it Dr Tony Attwood, he knows how it differs in women from men etc
(cont) the dark weeks, i'm with you totally on that. there are days like yourself infact if i dont have to go out, i wont. my husband went on tour for a month, i didnt leave the house!... you are definately an aspie to me, you and i have the same struggle every day. we are normal, just wired differently, for what is normal? i was only tested for 2 30min sessions, they looked for "classic autism" instead of aspergers. We know oursleves better than anyone else could ever.
with you every step sister!!! why i am an actress!! its good to see my words in someone elses words, i still struggle to be diagnosed, as A i can communicate , make connection i seem "normal" ... but like you i act. no-one knows us but ourselves. I want to thank you for sharing how you feel, it can be different in women than men and is also why missed because we can immitate well. I know about "one of those days" like you i wouldnt show people those days, my husband sees tho the shutdown day.
..A relief to finally know but overwelming at this age though during the evaluation I was told I've made a lot of adaptations on my own just from feeling I was different from everyone and being aware I wasn't acting normal so I'd try my hardest fit in as normal as I could which really hasn't worked that much. I have a long road ahead of me to ever come off neurotypical and starting so late it's hard to stay hopeful even though I want to be. At Least my whole life makes sense now. Thanx again!
writing limit opps! to add to my previous comment that got left out and I dont remember all of it is AS had been suggested but overlooked my whole life from being diagnosed with so many other comorbid pychological disorders and learning disabilities at a young age mostly because the Dr.s and people from the generation b4 mine had so little known about AS and its comorbidities.So lucky for me I'm almost 30 and have missed out on over 2 decades of "acting lessons", scares da shit outta me more..
Thank you so much for these videos they all help me with my new found identity as well as get me emotional n even cry which I know is a problem for AS being looked over or unbelieved from my experience too. I just recently got a Dx of AS at age 27 (will be 28 in 2 months) after feeling like an alien my whole life and like there was something wrong with me that I couldn't comprehend and i even thought my family was hiding from me from as far back as I can remember in preschool. It had been su
I absolutely 100% agree with everything you said in this video. I got diagnosed late in life so for years had to act like everyone else around me just to get through life. Yes, sometimes it's impossible to maintain the act and we have to withdraw from the world. Of course, because of that, the world doesn't see what we go through on those days. I wish I had your courage to make videos like this, but I could never do it. If you can get just 1 NT to understand, then it's worth the hardship
It sounds very difficult to uphold the impression of neuro-typical normalcy. What are your perceived benefits of maintaining the facade? Is it worth it? Why?
"Parroting" is not the right word to use. Since I perseverate on language/words/dialect/cultures, I actually take on the jargon of a group...even the accents. It's strange but I am not sure if it is just AS, or if it might be one of the psychological "side dishes" I have yet to realize.
I don't really know who I am because I play the NT game to get on about my everyday. And I have the parroting issue pretty bad because I tried to blend into so many different groups and I am like a chameleon now. :(
You shouldn't have to act normal. There's nothing wrong with who you are. I'm sure you must have had to deal with a lot of terrible people over the years.
I have Aspergers Syndrome as well (diagnosed by my PhD at school), I also get intense impulses to retreat into my room. It is really hard for me to socialize with other people let alone having a girlfriend, which makes me sad at times + I gave up. Forget about that but picking up a cell phone, I really try to ignore it. I also noticed the more I socialize the more I have to isolate myself.
Please if you can stand it, keep this video up. You're ME, somehow copy-pasted into another body. That's including the frustration that you put on display here. This was a real eye-opener. Thank you so much for making it, it can't imagine how difficult this video must have been.
dude u need to calm down its not all that bad i mean i took a test and i didnt even take it seriously but they still diagnosed me and idc its not that big of a deal i go out and i dnt have to "ACT" normal i just do normal i mean sometimes i do something stupid but it might be the ADHD that comes along wit this so called disease but u need to pull urself together u said u didnt want sympathy so im not givin it mabey u just need to relax cause thats a bunch of bs having aspergers isnt that bad
This actually sums up my daily routine, I'm 16 and I've already almost perfected my act, I wake up and put on my masks of comedy and tragedy. Thank you for defining a whole life in a nutshell. I have a large group of friends and act almost normally, it's nice to hear from an aspie who's not obsessed with car's and is good looking ;) and has also proven that aspies can function in decent if not interesting and creative society.
I mean, doesn't automatically tend to *display* emotion physically (I missed the word display). BTW, regarding those people that'd say you're not aspie.I don't respect the opinion of people that'd dispute what I know to be true,it doesn't bother me too much, it causes some disdain from me to them when they do that,but I am not with them for their opinion on that, and so I keep it to what i'm with them for, be in advice within their area of expertise, or some activity that i'm joining them in.
Have you looked up INTP? I think we are perhaps INTP Aspies.. or something some kind of Aspie that -does- understand facial expressions, and -can- act an emotion,but doesn't automatically tend to emotion physically, and would have to do it consciously.That's how I see it and i'm thinking you're perhaps like that,my experience relates to you a lot.
Don't worry about people that think you're not an aspie, they mean well , i've got a friend that'd say so. I don't normally discuss it with people.Maybe I shouldn't be giving you advice, because you're better than me,you understand my situation pretty well, and you've got a deeper grasp of things than I do.I've tended to just not care about being an aspie and not act, but it has been disasterous because a better way to communicate with normal people can be/is to adapt.Thank you for this video
i thought i was a psycho for a bit when i looked my disorder up online and it said lacks empathy and looked up psycho and said same thing so i started to try and act creepy serail killerish.
all ruined when marley died on that movie and i cried.
Well, first of all, what the fook IS "normal"? And who decides what it is? Secondly, Aspergers is exhausting, because every day is a challenge, in a world that seems so strange at times. Everything is tuned up to high in the Sensory Department, noises, taste, vision, confusion, hurt, pain, happiness, smell...To be 'acting' 24/7 wears the Spirit out. Many folkswith Aspergers are kind, soft, seeply sensitive, gentle people..who simply want to live their lives quietly. It's OK to be YOU. xx
thank you for making this video. i know it wasn't easy. the one this that i find hardest to explain to people is what you have expressed here. you are completely right about how people see people like us and it's hard to talk about it without them thinking that i feel sorry for myself. i have the most respect for you and i am glad to see that you have to courage to do this.
Funny thing is that growing up I would dream I was "socially normal" and visualize great conversations. Wouldn't dream that I was the most popular but just having simple conversations. Afterwards I would wonder why I couldn't do that awake.
Never diagnosed but everything is clicking. What threw me off for a bit is that it seemed that Aspies were not receptive to emotion. I am extremely emotional, inside. Extremely emotionally stable which didn't seemed to fit with Asperger's. And extremely intimate, inside. It just doesn't seem to come outside.
If I forget to take my meds, I will get depressed. If I do take them, I will get in a good enough mood to function but I still fake it. I laugh at jokes when I understand them from a logical standpoint. I had to learn sarcasm and irony like it was math or english. It's hard to make everyone in the room laugh at your jokes but know when you stop everyone will go back to hating you like usual. It brings great relief to know there are other people out there like me.
I feel good knowing that there are other people like me in the world. I can tell that people know i'm different from them. When I start talking, either people will hold back tears, get angry at me or laugh at me and walk away. Sometimes I say have a good day to people at work and they say yeah right or turn away and say nothing at all. People seem to think that I am hiding something when I am just standing there. Sometimes I don't have any thoughts in the middle of the day. More...
From the mom of an Aspie teenage girl...thanks for the video. It took me almost 15 years to get her diagnosed. It is hard. I understand. Oh, and you are not that great of an actress...or you let your gaurd down in this video. I totally see the aspie in you. I hope my daughter learns to fake it as well as you do. I hope she will be able to function in society. Good luck.
Sometimes I wonder why I'm so different from everyone and cannot communicate easily with others. But I really don't know. I feel like I could have something and should get evaluated for it.
dearestjen 4 hours ago
Thank you for making this. So much. This is my bad day and though I tried to find pictures of cats to deflect my bad press, I found you. My proxy. You'll have to be my face, because mine won't make the right face right now.
dancingplatypus 4 hours ago
the same for me, the image people have about me is based upon a character i play just like you say it. most people collegues etc... notice sometimes some strangeness to me allthough i try to disguise my hidden issue as good as i can. nice to find somebody similar because most of the things in this video i've been through also.
TheTauro85 1 day ago
i have bipolar, i have attention deficit disorder, i have obsessive compulsive disorder, and autism
Amy198322 3 days ago
Do you also, tend to be, DIFFERENT EVERYDAY?
Saskiaatjeeh 3 days ago
awesome video, i'm just like that, i try to act too, that's why people call me a cameleon all time.
Saskiaatjeeh 3 days ago
@TheAnMish what's your score on the baron-cohen test?
porazindel 4 days ago
I am right there in the same boat as you. I can say "I know how you feel" and ABSOLUTELY MEAN IT. It's just so... I want to say awkward or foreign, but it doesn't completely fit... it's so different. Ok, watching you talk in this video, you have said all kinds of stuff I wish I could have verbalized. It's like watching "me with a different face" talking. So close to an out of body experience that it's bordering insanity. I will say this. I reach out to you in the most genuine way possible. If y
quad8cadet 5 days ago
Thanks for this video it captures alot of what I feel during "those" days. I will soon be going for the AS test as I myself am a prime candidate for the AS test. anyways side tracking here
thanks for the video and display of emotion capturing another persons pain and expression of inner conflict
Gizm0toCline 5 days ago
I've had Asperger's since I was 8. I understand what you are going through cuz I've been through it. It's really sad that not too many people understand what we go through. And I agree with everything you've said :) We Aspies gotta stick together.
PrincessCassi1988 6 days ago
@PrincessCassi1988 Since you were 8? I dont want to sound rude but all the people I have met with AS or Autism or PDDNOS (including myself xP ) have had any of the previously stated conditions since childbirth, so Im just curious to know how what you said is possible :P Of course dont reply if you dont want to answer to some weirdo (Me), im just super nosey :)
PS Love these vids AnMish, continue with greatness :D
Now and forever, Pink Coffee
CupOfPinkCoffee 6 days ago
@CupOfPinkCoffee I meant I wasn't diagnosed with it until I was 8. I had been diagnosed with ADD when I was 3. Sorry for the confusion.
PrincessCassi1988 6 days ago
@PrincessCassi1988 Ah, ok, that makes sense then xP Apologies for being non-conclusive...or something, not good with language :P Have a Nice Day, whoever you are :)
CupOfPinkCoffee 6 days ago
I am a aspie and I didnt learn to read others people emotions, but i´m too Neuro typically the way i live
yournecs 1 week ago
Even without Aspergers it's difficult to function well in a group of people. Therefore I have so much respects for people with austism/aspergers who do manage to function as the rest. Keep up the good work and when you have bad days.. allow yourself to have them, cuz it's hard enough already
dani4ever92 1 week ago
I've just got to the Oscar part, great minds :)
llMrPaulieCll 1 week ago
We deserve Oscars for our performances. Thanks for the share, you're not alone.
llMrPaulieCll 1 week ago
youre beautiful C:
poopz 1 week ago
I think in the end everybody puts a front....play a character like you say, im very socially awkward and socially anxious but i dont let it show. Im not aspie though, im just a good actor :P
andartarius 1 week ago
Why do aspies masturbate so much????
yarfness69 1 week ago
I discovered I am an Aspie while ago... I cannot date had a short disastrous marriage. I have very special interest in experimental music... I cannot drive a car and am very clumsy.. I cannot tolerate discos and loud noises. I find social connection very energy draining. I cannot relate to your strong emotions but I understand the need to withdrawal which I have sometimes.
stephanzeitschel2007 1 week ago
@stephanzeitschel2007:I'm an Aspie too and I haven't dated once in my life but I can drive a car.
INDLIS 1 week ago
Finally I found people like me, no friends, no calls phones, no..., I keep my mascarade, the other think that I´m normal but I´m not.
It´s dificults to explain but I read something like that the autism have connection with leakygut and other sick of the gut like candida and yest. It´s possible?
Rawne51 1 week ago
I was wondering if there is a pattern to your Aspie symptoms? It sounds like stress intensifies your Aspie symptoms. Or maybe it is more that stress erodes your energy and makes it difficult for you to maintain the facade of being NT? I don't blame you at all for pretending to be NT because you probably experienced a lot of rejection when you did not keep up the facade. Thanks, again, for sharing.
JenFindling 1 week ago
Do you have any video footage of yourself as a child? That would be really informative.
Thanks for sharing your experiences.
JenFindling 1 week ago
Can i ask you a question? Do you ever feel like an impostor? I too have learned to act neurotically or normal. I am not as good an actor as you but I've manage to keep it under control to enough to have a job and one or two friends. The only problem is i feel so depressed about it sometimes, I feel like an impostor. like im fooling those around me. It is one of the reasons why I can not have a relationship, It would feel like im fooling the other person into believing im someone im not.
blackwolfsquadron 1 week ago
LOOK I WILL JUST GIVE U ONE COMMENT IF U DON'T LIKE ACTING SO WHY U ACT? LOOK U CAN ACCEPT UR SYNDROM LIKE NORMAL AND LIVE WITH IT AND I AM SURE THERE WILL BE PEOPLES WHO WILL ACCEPT YOU BECAUSE IT'S YOU AND WHEN U SAID THAT FOR OSCAR I BECOME MAD BECAUSE OTHERS ARE NOT FAULT FOR UR ACTING IT'S UR CHOOSE WILL U ACT OR NO BUT MY ANSWER IS PLEASE DON'T ACT AND RELAX URSELF BE WHAT YOU ARE AND U WON'T BE CLOSED IN HOUSE NEVER ... AND IF U DON'T WANT IT'S AGAIN UR CHOICE BUT I JUST WANT SEE U ASPIE
Zeljkaaa18 1 week ago
LOOK I WAS SEARCHING FOR SYNDROMS AND ALL THOSE PEOPLES ACT LIKE NORMAL AND I DON'T WANT THAT!!!!!!!!!!!!! I WANT SEEE SOMEONE WITH REALLY ASPERGER SYNDROM AND I THINK THE BEST WAY IS TO WATCH MOVIE MY NAME IS KHAN THE MAIN CHARACTER HAVE ASPERGER'S SYNDROM AND HE REALLY GOOD ACT IT I THOUGHT HE REALLY HAVE IT AND I WANT SEE SOMEONE RECORDING VIDEO LIKE WHAT HE IS AND HERE EVERYONE HAVE EYE CONTACT :/ I REALLY DON'T UNDERSTAND ... PLEASE SOMEONE RECORD VIDEO LIKE THAT EVEN WITH FRIEND
Zeljkaaa18 1 week ago
"I hate making this video. I'm going to stop now. Have a great day!" I hear the echoes of myself trying to be socially acceptable when it was really a struggle. Wow. That was powerful. Do not be embarrassed by this video because it is good. VERY good. You are both blessed and cursed to have a beautiful face, because NTs are drawn to that and will want to believe that you reflect them because of it. I can't help but look *and* act like a geek most of the time.
AvaneDS 1 week ago
@AvaneDS Very perceptive comments ~ her beauty is a blessing and a curse, to be sure.
JenFindling 1 week ago
How can you be so effective pretending? thats a good thing. I mean, any useful advice would be veeeeery welcomed. Unfortunately, I just noticed this thing in me just about this year.... after 43 wondering what was wrong. Now I know there is no fix, so lets get reallistic, the practical thing to do is to pretend. Really, a few weeks ago I noticed that real happiness, at least part of it, is just *not* to be noticed... because we all really know what happen when people start to observe you.
AlfredoYong 1 week ago
I thought you were that actress for a second. Forgot her name but Damn you really look like her.
Aviator411 1 week ago
If you have Aspergers syndrome can you also have Attention Deficit Disorder?.
newmusashi1 2 weeks ago
@newmusashi1 Yes. Many aspies also have other diagnoses, and attention disorders are common, as well as anxiety and depression.
TheAnMish 2 weeks ago 3
@TheAnMish Have you ever in the workplace or school beeen told to do something that you do not enjoy and have no interest in and find it very hard to focus on it wanting to move on to other things, and you are chastised for it?.
newmusashi1 2 weeks ago
@TheAnMish
As a diagnosed Aspie I also have GAD. :P But I manage
sintofg 5 days ago
@TheAnMish, you seem bent on wanting to be an "Aspie" but have you considered that you may be "suffering" from a high I.Q. that you haven't learned how to fully cope with? Just an impression, based on how you speak and ponder things. Very smart people often feel psychotic because they can't stop thinking about concepts!
Average dullards (many of whom have degrees) can be put off by true higher-thinkers and realists, so they automatically want to diagnose them with something
NoEcologyNoEconomy 2 weeks ago
I found this by way of associated Bartlett overpopulation videos and was not expecting this much intensity!
Toward the middle of this video is probably the deepest angst I've ever seen on YouTube. Yes, you definitely feel, and you're very bright, but please hold it together! There is such a thing as too much self-involvement.
NoEcologyNoEconomy 2 weeks ago
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I don't feel sorry for you... I'm proud of you, you make me feel hope for the human race. =]
InfurnusChaotix 2 weeks ago
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InfurnusChaotix 2 weeks ago
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InfurnusChaotix 2 weeks ago
I have emotions oright the only time I don't is when I'm expected to show empathy because I feel overloaded or don't know what to do if a person is crying or upset.
TinyTracey 2 weeks ago
why do aspergers people poop themselves? my roomate has it and hes been pooping all over himself recently...
yarfness69 2 weeks ago
@yarfness69 whaaaaaaaaaat? :O yeah, i don't think that's aspergers..... :P
erewrwify 2 weeks ago
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ASPERGERFRIENDS COM
Asperger Syndrome is a neurobiological disorder on the higher-functioning end of the autism spectrum. An individual's symptoms can range from mild to severe.
Their IQ's are typically in the normal to very superior range. They are usually educated in the mainstream, but most require special education services.
Because of their naivete, those with AS are often viewed by their peers as "odd" and are frequently a target for bullying and teasing.
gayandpeace 2 weeks ago
I never saw someone being sad for being normal :P it is like you are enjoying the fact that you have this thing, and i think that is cool, means you already understood your disease and you are not like these other guys on the net saying that their lifes sucks :) you are cool, really really cool :) so don't cry, cus you should not be worried about what they say or think about you...cus you have aspie.
yeskamaniaca 2 weeks ago
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bluestucco 3 weeks ago
Thanks for uploading this video., It is good to see the invisible truth about aspergers. I work in an intership as a social worker. Colleagues often ask me to show more of the way I work. While I work right under their noses and tell them anything. It is as if they dont want to see the truth.
Colleagues tell me they totally accept me being an aspie, but they will not accept any restrictions. It is good to be accepted but I wonder if they even realise what they are saying...
Yodan82 3 weeks ago
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Bringing awareness to autism is an amazing thing to do. I've created this Youtube channel to promote this new independent film called White Frog. It's about a young boy who has aspergers a form of autism. Please help spread the word with me. To watch the trailer type in "White Frog movie trailer 2" on youtube. Thank you.
wfrogmovie 3 weeks ago
you do get them across, amazingly well.
i hope the very ignorant people that make judgements about you or other aspies watch this.
pantalks 3 weeks ago
This is actually one of my favourite youtube video ever. I'm an spie though, so hey, I've probably watched it about 40 times by now.
erewrwify 3 weeks ago
Tater wants to be one a them aspies too. Where's the sign up sheet?
TaterGumfries 3 weeks ago
I can abstractly empathize with this video.
I have ADHD, with some strong OCD leanings, and am also a graduate student in Developmental Psychology. The number of times other people hear that and immediately decide that because I made it through school that I am simply further evidence that ADHD is overdiagnosed and I was done a great wrong, because I obviously have no problem... well people make that assumption a lot. The reality is that people just do not see me on the bad days either.
squirrelywrath2 3 weeks ago
Sheldon Cooper. Thoughts?
squirrelywrath2 3 weeks ago
Thats a very powerful message, thankyou for sharing it
teafag 3 weeks ago
I feel your frustration, it seems most people-whatever ur issue and if its diagnosed or not, whether it impacts on your life somwhat or greatly, (and they are arrogant enough to think they know how much it 'should') just want to judge in ways that fulfill their egos. I hope for the day when the many with thier ignorance become the few. In the mean while, try not to energise this with your focus to the point you find it debilitating, I know I give too much power to these ****s!
CarolinaSoulStar 3 weeks ago
doesnt everybody act in some way.life is just a movie in wich u r the leading role.you write your own scrpit.you choose to be who you want to be .thats why different kinds of people from different places act different isnt it!?
gummynumberone 3 weeks ago
Im an Aspie but whaaaat do u do when not even ur fam or ur husbands understnds you ??? What do I do? .... I try to be like normal but even when I have to fake a smile it hurst so much.
WhiteMGirl 4 weeks ago
What i've found over my life time of having autism, is normal people don't actually respect us. i mean to them we're just things to beat up or test or even experiment on. i had to go from the age of 4 to the age of 14 getting tested on for autism and getting seen by Doctors who gave me medicine which destroyed my feelings and made me become a husk, one day a doctor found out what the medication was doing to me and took it off me telling me if i kept taking it, i'd die before i turn 15.
Gaslydeath 4 weeks ago
@Gaslydeath from the age of 15 - 18 i went to the hospital for more tests which also lead to local gangs finding out who i am and what was wrong with me which sent me to the hospital more times than anyone cared to know. i think i was 16 when the doctors had said the chances of me surviving was about 20%, 6 years later i don't trust people and tend to make sure i stay miles away from anyone due to the living hell they gave me, even tho i was diagnosed at 14 the doctors kept on at me
Gaslydeath 4 weeks ago
not anymore tho. it stopped when i was 18.. and i meant 6 years later from 16 not 18 as i'm only 22.. but meh it stopped because i know a good few people i had helped from doing odd jobs for them to pretty much risking my own life to save them. so they returned a few favours. and now i rarely come in contact with others and tend to like being miles away from any towns. i currently live in a small village type area and where i go to calm down is 14 miles away from where i live
Gaslydeath 4 weeks ago
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MrSkynetAdmin 4 weeks ago
@MrSkynetAdmin i have autism and i won't rise up to take people down. i mean due to my autism and the way my life was fucked up i've become one of the most defensive people known throughout my town, and due to the way i think and work i've ended up risking my own life to rescue others. i know i do it, but why i do it, is unknown. however it has had an effect on my life.
Gaslydeath 4 weeks ago
@Gaslydeath i am autistic as well. i am sorry you feel that way. your not alone.
MrSkynetAdmin 4 weeks ago
@MrSkynetAdmin its ok.. i've learnt how to be more than people are these days.. they keep saying evolution will make us better, does that mean i've evolved? as i do not require technology to get me to where i go wherever it may be, yet i have a full understanding on all technology, also it takes me between 10 mins - 2 hours to learn stuff then i'm fairly good at it. but yeah the way i've lived when i was younger made hospitals not so fun.. especially last year 5 days after my 21st Bday
Gaslydeath 4 weeks ago
@Gaslydeath mainly because 16 weeks of pain started then. having my jaw put back in place after what some people did to me, it wasn't a nice feeling then they said they'd have to remove most of my teeth and make the rest metal.. so now i have metal in my teeth and can't walk past magnets without it interfering with my teeth. all i can say is, i might not have a girl friend due to the way i live, but where i go would make others cry from the beauty of it. i even have pictures on my mobile..
Gaslydeath 4 weeks ago
@Gaslydeath oh.
MrSkynetAdmin 4 weeks ago
@MrSkynetAdmin just need a way to get the pictures off my mobile and into a slide show.. but knowing the way slide shows are done on here people will probably have a go at me.. sadly its the way that lives go these days.. but still nothing like walking up a place at 4am with nothing but a bag with extra clothes in, in case it gets cold some hot drink in a flask then watching the sun rise miles above the town you live in. its like something magical when the sun is rising
Gaslydeath 4 weeks ago
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wow from what i've seen from your videos, you are very inspiring. your absolutely gorgeous, courageous, and incredibly intelligent. i just wish you could show the real you. aspergers and all. i dont think anyone would disapprove, and if they do, who gives a shit. Your beautiful no matter what.
audrianacheyenne 4 weeks ago
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wow from what i've seen from your videos, you are very inspiring. your absolutely gorgeous, courageous, and incredibly intelligent. i just wish you could show the real you. aspergers and all. i dont think anyone would disapprove, and if they do, who gives a shit. Your beautiful no matter what.
audrianacheyenne 4 weeks ago
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wow from what i've seen from your videos, you are very inspiring. your absolutely gorgeous, courageous, and incredibly intelligent. i just wish you could show the real you. aspergers and all. i dont think anyone would disapprove, and if they do, who gives a shit. Your beautiful no matter what.
audrianacheyenne 4 weeks ago
wow from what i've seen from your videos, you are very inspiring. your absolutely gorgeous, courageous, and incredibly intelligent. i just wish you could show the real you. aspergers and all. i dont think anyone would disapprove, and if they do, who gives a shit. Your beautiful no matter what.
audrianacheyenne 4 weeks ago
@TheAnMish:That's a good way to say it.
INDLIS 4 weeks ago
Im like you. Does this come naturally for us? It seems like it does!
Those weeks when we cant function..... How can u kerp a job. Hun...i need ur help.
mezmaries 1 month ago
I feel like aspergers is ruining my life
mezmaries 1 month ago
I act too
mezmaries 1 month ago
The problem with acting NT is that the NTs in your life (even those who live with you) forget that your emotional and intellectual life is completely different than theirs, and they freak out when you let the act slip and they see the real you.
Yinepuhotep 1 month ago
I think you think NT care about your syndrome...NO WE DON'T! You're smart, courageous, intelligent, beautiful, creative...The list goes on. People like you for you, not because you're playing some stupid NT role, so you say.
JoelQuinnPhotography 1 month ago
It shits me that you hide your bad days...Just be yourself dude. You're fucking awesome, know that. You have a problem but so do millions of others in life. I don't think you should change to a NT just because there are more of us... BE YOURSELF.
JoelQuinnPhotography 1 month ago
@erewrwify
purdy = pretty.
Is ere wr wify pronounced "ear wister wy fee" ?
Bloodydigger 1 month ago
haha You don't have to play a role, the secret is that you must impose your emotions. Try to dare it, and if people aren't happy with your strange feelings, just shout and become crazy. You have to lead others to your tiny and dirty internal room, never try to come to them. TRY IT! Protect yourself, don't be a comedian, you have to DAAAARE, and don't be sad like this, it hurts me. Okay I m another youtube comment, but just dare what you always feared : get out of yourself!! YEEEEEES you can!
cocardeux 1 month ago
@cocardeux yeess... thank you
Toro953 1 month ago
You seem to have a lot of insight into your condition :-)
erewrwify 1 month ago
I so so Relate to you... Thank you
AthenaAbbey 1 month ago
In the video, between 05:35 - 05:40 you look down and tear something off of something. The object is a small white circle. My question is, what is the small white circle?
ShaXdow5 1 month ago
@ShaXdow5 a velcro sticker :)
TheAnMish 1 month ago
She sounds a little bit like Gillian Anderson. Also she's purdy.
Bloodydigger 1 month ago
@Bloodydigger LOL she does! ;) what's purdy? :/
erewrwify 1 month ago
Very emotional video, very brave video.
TheRealGethelmanbwoy 1 month ago
I´m half Danish, n I am Aspie, how could I contact with that Asperger expert?
Thanks´s good day.
TheRealGethelmanbwoy 1 month ago
so how are you as yourself, as an aspie ? when you're not pretending to be neurotypical. what goes through your mind ? how do you act ? what is your "normal" ?
zarehara 1 month ago
@zarehara Well the thing is for me at least the act is being dull, expressing already learned expressions not exactly what we feel but what is most "normal" for that moment. That's is my entire act when I'm with friends always thinking on what I'm going to say, never just saying something random everything is evaluated and said with precaution the same goes with my act.
MrToobie 1 month ago
@zarehara But what you really want to know is how we consider our "normal" yet whenever I think of it I just come up with an empty shell, I think the only time i can really feel the "normal" is when I do what I love or express it to someone I can trust and doesn't judge me for what I am. I really have no freaking clue how I am out in public when I'm "normal" its just no place for it.
MrToobie 1 month ago
@MrToobie Are not normal people boring In my mind the people who is a bit different and dont try to adapt is the most interesting to get to know!
Melchersson 1 month ago
@Melchersson I honestly don't try to adapt that much, I'm more considering what to say a lot to prevent saying something rude or un-funny, since something funny in my head usually ends up in coming out a disaster, however if I meet new people I usually put my character on for a moment to try to understand how they work befor I relax down a bit. Bit safe play, however Im still actually thinking of this. Befor I answered the comment below I hadn't really though that much about it.
MrToobie 1 month ago
Part VI- "We Feel"- Yes, to such an intensity that we become stunned, sometimes appearing lifeless (i.e., perception of flat affect.) With me, high anxiety is a constant; relaxation and privacy becomes a necessity. Emotions brim over with such fluidity that it shorts out the circuitry when one laughs, but cannot sense the ecstasy, and when one cries, but does't wash away the pain. -- thank you for your patience, reader.
MaestroMediaGroup 1 month ago
Part V- "Life Is A Stage"- 'All the world is a stage,' but the play is badly cast.
MaestroMediaGroup 1 month ago
Part IV continued- You are a good person for 3 reasons: 1- You know how difficult it is to do good and you practice it; 2- because we can't do good all the time, sometimes doing good isn' good enough, so we learn to do better; and 3- because you learn to do better, you have not surrendered that desire to be and do good. All of us search for our better and greater Selves. The to-do lists and priorities differ.
MaestroMediaGroup 1 month ago
Part IV- 'You don't know what it's like'- Yes, we do. Many of your readers are Aspie also. We live it, just as you do. We remember and hurt as you do. Emotionally burned memories play like a runaway movie projector, and at times we feel helpless to stop it. You're not alone; someone out there is hurting with you.
MaestroMediaGroup 1 month ago
Part III- NT acceptance and difficult to own AS as a fact- We work hard to earn our acceptance, and we often become the last one to accept ourselves. Being matter-of-fact makes me an awareness tool, and I don't have to look over my shoulders. As a culture difference, I had to learn how to speak 'NT' and find those who can interpret Aspie language. I sense a lot of pain in you: memories you don't want, memories emotionally burned in for a lifetime. Still, you're a good person- I'll explain--
MaestroMediaGroup 1 month ago
Part II- Fall flat on one's face- I keep reminding myself that no one sees my internal script of responses and to keep interactions short. It seems I'm regularly on my guard to protect myself from the likes of me. Although my intent is to give my brain some quality time to be itself, the isolation and depression can be addicting. It can be destructive to be alone with one's pain. For me, it's the anticipatory anxiety that drains my battery and I completely shut down.
MaestroMediaGroup 1 month ago
I have many comments for this video that needs more than 500 characters. So, I'll address them (linearly) one at a time Part I- NT Actor- Good for you. Every person needs acceptance, and, as an Aspie, I tend to help others feel comfortable through scripted, 'appropriate' behaviors. Of course, this is an exhausting ordeal. As though each person interacted with has their own rules of engagement, and being 'found out' mixes the info until it's useless to go on with the show.
MaestroMediaGroup 1 month ago
who are you? i didn't think there was anyone who acted and had the same views i do i thought i was a one of a kind aspie who hid his true self from everyone out of fear of being an outcast you basically made a 10 min video of my life
sin234543 1 month ago
I have so much respect for you! you're a very brave girl! and ur video helped me alot! :) Greetings from Holland!
NBK0014 1 month ago
Thanks for that video, its very brave of you to make it. If NTs understood how the world receives Aspies when they act totally naturally then they would get why learning to imitate NT behaviour is such a crucial survival skill. I am kind of amazed at your 'authenticity' though; I think I come across as relatively 'normal' in most interactions but I could never be like you are on video.
n31348 1 month ago
I am a “HSP”, and (many) people mistake “HSP” for autism, as Dr. Elaine Aron says that they do. I had that happening to me with a psychologist (who clearly did not know HSP).
HSP’s are extremely empathic (so much that it hurts), and they are probably the first persons that can (somewhat) imagine what an Aspie goes through.
TheAnMish, you are a very courageous woman...
eivissano 1 month ago
you are brave inspiring & beautiful. thank you for your courage
perramaldito 1 month ago
Fellow Aspie here. You have an awesome collection of videos, and more often than not you're also speaking my story. When it comes to days where I'm more Aspie than NT (for lack of a better thing to call it), I go about my business anyway and get a few extra odd looks from some, but those who know me know it's just part of who I am (even if they don't know I'm an Aspie). Also, thank you ending all your videos with "Have a nice day" and waving. I do that routinely too.
MortiusLoop 1 month ago
just be yourself, fuck anyone who doesnt accept you for who you are. ive met people who had asperger syndrome and it didnt matter to me that they had it, i looked deeper into who they were and liked them for their personalities.
TheBombShhh 1 month ago
I feel like you are speaking for me and I don't think I would have the courage to do what you did in this video! I just discovered your videos recently and am enjoying/relating to each one. Thank you so much, I don't feel quite so alone anymore.
JACKIEKLIS 1 month ago
Wow....One of the best real life moments I've ever observed on video!!! You're truly helping mankind with your videos. Please continue putting out these amazing videos!!! Everyone out there...please share this video with all your friends!!! It's truly eye-opening stuff!!! Heart-wrenching moments yes...but valuable indeed!!! Young lady...again...you're one brave soul!!! Adonai...Baagit8!!!
baagit8 1 month ago
Young sister....you're what's known as an Indigo or Crystal Child. You're an extremely brave spirit. This 3D realm is extremely difficult on you loving souls. I hope you'll investigate this truth for yourself. There's great love here for you beautiful young sister!!! Adonai...Baagit8!!!
baagit8 1 month ago
your video moved me. thank you.
msirkin 1 month ago
We do have emotions and use emotions, the problem is we dont understand emotions of other people. An we do act like NTs and sadly because of this people sometime misteak us for having multiple personailies lol
jaymeeface 1 month ago
Cont - Pps he has AS. sorry for typing so much, should have sent a msg instead. I hope you dont mind if i share this. cos your words, its like me talking through someone else (hope you dont mind me saying). can i also ask if like me you often communicate how you really feel through the likes of music? and do you ever go down the road of depression? i think all this needs said to those idiot therapists in britain who missdiagnose over 100 women ever year, because they "seem normal" arseholes!
AliaETorrie 1 month ago
P.s Although we are both proberably different as individuals, as live different lives, we've both known our whole lives what people were just to ignorant to see. Its so hard for women as alot of us often have the same tale. Its why i strive to be an actress. Its not sympathy as such, but your vid is one of the true ones that actually spoke to me. one of the ones that made better sense. the best Aspie experts, are those who have it Dr Tony Attwood, he knows how it differs in women from men etc
AliaETorrie 1 month ago
(cont) the dark weeks, i'm with you totally on that. there are days like yourself infact if i dont have to go out, i wont. my husband went on tour for a month, i didnt leave the house!... you are definately an aspie to me, you and i have the same struggle every day. we are normal, just wired differently, for what is normal? i was only tested for 2 30min sessions, they looked for "classic autism" instead of aspergers. We know oursleves better than anyone else could ever.
AliaETorrie 1 month ago
with you every step sister!!! why i am an actress!! its good to see my words in someone elses words, i still struggle to be diagnosed, as A i can communicate , make connection i seem "normal" ... but like you i act. no-one knows us but ourselves. I want to thank you for sharing how you feel, it can be different in women than men and is also why missed because we can immitate well. I know about "one of those days" like you i wouldnt show people those days, my husband sees tho the shutdown day.
AliaETorrie 1 month ago
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..A relief to finally know but overwelming at this age though during the evaluation I was told I've made a lot of adaptations on my own just from feeling I was different from everyone and being aware I wasn't acting normal so I'd try my hardest fit in as normal as I could which really hasn't worked that much. I have a long road ahead of me to ever come off neurotypical and starting so late it's hard to stay hopeful even though I want to be. At Least my whole life makes sense now. Thanx again!
rachelfeldman84 1 month ago
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rachelfeldman84 1 month ago
writing limit opps! to add to my previous comment that got left out and I dont remember all of it is AS had been suggested but overlooked my whole life from being diagnosed with so many other comorbid pychological disorders and learning disabilities at a young age mostly because the Dr.s and people from the generation b4 mine had so little known about AS and its comorbidities.So lucky for me I'm almost 30 and have missed out on over 2 decades of "acting lessons", scares da shit outta me more..
rachelfeldman84 1 month ago
Thank you so much for these videos they all help me with my new found identity as well as get me emotional n even cry which I know is a problem for AS being looked over or unbelieved from my experience too. I just recently got a Dx of AS at age 27 (will be 28 in 2 months) after feeling like an alien my whole life and like there was something wrong with me that I couldn't comprehend and i even thought my family was hiding from me from as far back as I can remember in preschool. It had been su
rachelfeldman84 1 month ago
I absolutely 100% agree with everything you said in this video. I got diagnosed late in life so for years had to act like everyone else around me just to get through life. Yes, sometimes it's impossible to maintain the act and we have to withdraw from the world. Of course, because of that, the world doesn't see what we go through on those days. I wish I had your courage to make videos like this, but I could never do it. If you can get just 1 NT to understand, then it's worth the hardship
TheNuclearonion 1 month ago
why imitate. Be yourself, as long as it gets you places. Only play by there rules if they are in controle.
2583060 1 month ago
I only have 2 emotions, happiness, and anger.
2583060 1 month ago
@2583060, you are very lucky, then.
eivissano 1 month ago
Thank you. Your words are the words I didn't know how to say.
Gilleiand 1 month ago
you look like jenifer garner
TheFallingAutumn 1 month ago
It sounds very difficult to uphold the impression of neuro-typical normalcy. What are your perceived benefits of maintaining the facade? Is it worth it? Why?
rotatingorb 1 month ago
I agree, life is hard for me.
MarcusHarris93 1 month ago
"Parroting" is not the right word to use. Since I perseverate on language/words/dialect/cultures, I actually take on the jargon of a group...even the accents. It's strange but I am not sure if it is just AS, or if it might be one of the psychological "side dishes" I have yet to realize.
fightfiles 1 month ago
I'm with bluntedboywonder on that one.
I don't really know who I am because I play the NT game to get on about my everyday. And I have the parroting issue pretty bad because I tried to blend into so many different groups and I am like a chameleon now. :(
fightfiles 1 month ago
what a convincing video.
Mohrkai 2 months ago
You shouldn't have to act normal. There's nothing wrong with who you are. I'm sure you must have had to deal with a lot of terrible people over the years.
bookcreator 2 months ago
@bookcreator:So have I
INDLIS 4 weeks ago
I also noticed the more I socialize the more I have to isolate myself and sleep.
Hawkx101 2 months ago
@Hawkx101:I feel the same way too
INDLIS 4 weeks ago
I have Aspergers Syndrome as well (diagnosed by my PhD at school), I also get intense impulses to retreat into my room. It is really hard for me to socialize with other people let alone having a girlfriend, which makes me sad at times + I gave up. Forget about that but picking up a cell phone, I really try to ignore it. I also noticed the more I socialize the more I have to isolate myself.
Hawkx101 2 months ago
@Hawkx101 I get that completely.
" I also noticed the more I socialize the more I have to isolate myself."
Gilleiand 1 month ago
Please if you can stand it, keep this video up. You're ME, somehow copy-pasted into another body. That's including the frustration that you put on display here. This was a real eye-opener. Thank you so much for making it, it can't imagine how difficult this video must have been.
bluntedboywonder 2 months ago
dude u need to calm down its not all that bad i mean i took a test and i didnt even take it seriously but they still diagnosed me and idc its not that big of a deal i go out and i dnt have to "ACT" normal i just do normal i mean sometimes i do something stupid but it might be the ADHD that comes along wit this so called disease but u need to pull urself together u said u didnt want sympathy so im not givin it mabey u just need to relax cause thats a bunch of bs having aspergers isnt that bad
TheMusickid155 2 months ago
This actually sums up my daily routine, I'm 16 and I've already almost perfected my act, I wake up and put on my masks of comedy and tragedy. Thank you for defining a whole life in a nutshell. I have a large group of friends and act almost normally, it's nice to hear from an aspie who's not obsessed with car's and is good looking ;) and has also proven that aspies can function in decent if not interesting and creative society.
123ManCat 2 months ago
we do have emotions. the only question is in what kinds of situations do we show them
Aaaaalex1357 2 months ago
you're very pretty do you're think;) be yourelf
thegirlinaw26 2 months ago
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Requimind 2 months ago
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Requimind 2 months ago
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Requimind 2 months ago
There's no such thing as "normal".
Scot913319 2 months ago
Why do you care if people think you are an aspie or not? What are you trying to prove to people... Just keep doing what you are doing!
musicdocumentary 2 months ago
I mean, doesn't automatically tend to *display* emotion physically (I missed the word display). BTW, regarding those people that'd say you're not aspie.I don't respect the opinion of people that'd dispute what I know to be true,it doesn't bother me too much, it causes some disdain from me to them when they do that,but I am not with them for their opinion on that, and so I keep it to what i'm with them for, be in advice within their area of expertise, or some activity that i'm joining them in.
boliussa 2 months ago
Have you looked up INTP? I think we are perhaps INTP Aspies.. or something some kind of Aspie that -does- understand facial expressions, and -can- act an emotion,but doesn't automatically tend to emotion physically, and would have to do it consciously.That's how I see it and i'm thinking you're perhaps like that,my experience relates to you a lot.
boliussa 2 months ago
Don't worry about people that think you're not an aspie, they mean well , i've got a friend that'd say so. I don't normally discuss it with people.Maybe I shouldn't be giving you advice, because you're better than me,you understand my situation pretty well, and you've got a deeper grasp of things than I do.I've tended to just not care about being an aspie and not act, but it has been disasterous because a better way to communicate with normal people can be/is to adapt.Thank you for this video
boliussa 2 months ago
You are brilliant, fascinating, i'm also aspie. I like Spock and don't mind imitating him!
boliussa 2 months ago
i thought i was a psycho for a bit when i looked my disorder up online and it said lacks empathy and looked up psycho and said same thing so i started to try and act creepy serail killerish.
all ruined when marley died on that movie and i cried.
darkalleywalker 2 months ago
Well, first of all, what the fook IS "normal"? And who decides what it is? Secondly, Aspergers is exhausting, because every day is a challenge, in a world that seems so strange at times. Everything is tuned up to high in the Sensory Department, noises, taste, vision, confusion, hurt, pain, happiness, smell...To be 'acting' 24/7 wears the Spirit out. Many folkswith Aspergers are kind, soft, seeply sensitive, gentle people..who simply want to live their lives quietly. It's OK to be YOU. xx
LizzieCornish 2 months ago
@LizzieCornish Apologies for spelling mistakes there, I pressed 'post' too soon! :0)
LizzieCornish 2 months ago
thank you for making this video. i know it wasn't easy. the one this that i find hardest to explain to people is what you have expressed here. you are completely right about how people see people like us and it's hard to talk about it without them thinking that i feel sorry for myself. i have the most respect for you and i am glad to see that you have to courage to do this.
caster4955 2 months ago
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In your search for identity never let a psychiatrist tell you who you are. It'll ruin you.
crazy10bears 2 months ago
In your search for identity never let a psychiatrist tell you who you are. It'll ruin you.
crazy10bears 2 months ago
Funny thing is that growing up I would dream I was "socially normal" and visualize great conversations. Wouldn't dream that I was the most popular but just having simple conversations. Afterwards I would wonder why I couldn't do that awake.
MayonR 2 months ago
Never diagnosed but everything is clicking. What threw me off for a bit is that it seemed that Aspies were not receptive to emotion. I am extremely emotional, inside. Extremely emotionally stable which didn't seemed to fit with Asperger's. And extremely intimate, inside. It just doesn't seem to come outside.
MayonR 2 months ago
I am not basic I am not a human being!!!
extrememushroomhead 2 months ago
I agree with you 100%.
bigedz80 2 months ago
If I forget to take my meds, I will get depressed. If I do take them, I will get in a good enough mood to function but I still fake it. I laugh at jokes when I understand them from a logical standpoint. I had to learn sarcasm and irony like it was math or english. It's hard to make everyone in the room laugh at your jokes but know when you stop everyone will go back to hating you like usual. It brings great relief to know there are other people out there like me.
ajsimpso 2 months ago
I feel good knowing that there are other people like me in the world. I can tell that people know i'm different from them. When I start talking, either people will hold back tears, get angry at me or laugh at me and walk away. Sometimes I say have a good day to people at work and they say yeah right or turn away and say nothing at all. People seem to think that I am hiding something when I am just standing there. Sometimes I don't have any thoughts in the middle of the day. More...
ajsimpso 2 months ago
From the mom of an Aspie teenage girl...thanks for the video. It took me almost 15 years to get her diagnosed. It is hard. I understand. Oh, and you are not that great of an actress...or you let your gaurd down in this video. I totally see the aspie in you. I hope my daughter learns to fake it as well as you do. I hope she will be able to function in society. Good luck.
muehleisen1 2 months ago
i feel the same thing i have to act every day
komandirvodka 2 months ago