My Immortal Mondays - The Worst Harry Potter Fanfic Ever - Chapters 1-4

[89MidnightSun89]

DAFUQ did I just read? :/

[aswasamo]

6:42 ... cockcert?



[ThebossaruChamp]

Haha I need to stop stalking Hannah x)

[TheMostDefinately]

Listen to my dieing words . . . brothers and sisters. . . the author of the story . . everyone thinks she's trolling, and I found out the truth when I talked to her. . . but her presence kills brain cells very kickly so I . . . oh god . . . I spelled kikly wrong . . . the point is she . . .she . . . SHE . . .!111!! I'm ded111!!! XXXXXXXXXXXXXX666XXXXXXXXXXXXX

[LuBuOWNZ]

My Immortal and The Room?

CROSS OVER RIGHT THE FUCK NOW.

Oh hai motherfuckers, what are you doing here?

[rookieroo1]

This sounds like it was written by a 9 year old...

[goddessofdrow]

As much as I commend you for doing this, I couldn't stand to watch it anymore. It just hurts too bad.

[cookiemonsta188]

Tara knows almost NOTHING about Harry Potter

[cookiemonsta188]

nice triforce sheild in the background, it looks cool

[cookiemonsta188]

whoever wrote this is crazy, stupid, and very depressed

[TheRepublicOfUngeria]

how can your body get all warm if you are a vampire?

[TheRepublicOfUngeria]

you mean he took his wand and stuck it into your slit wrist? Seriously If you actually had sex like a rebel before you'd know that there is more than one orifice and more than one type of "thingy" to stick into those orifices. Go back to school you petulant child!

[TheRepublicOfUngeria]

at 9:32 it's actually: "...took of my top and I took of his clothes. I even took of my bra...." *faceplam*

[TheRepublicOfUngeria]

You don't even snort heroin?

[TheRepublicOfUngeria]

I love going to Simple Plan concerts with Draco Malfoy almost as much as I like going with Hitler to Synagogues!

[TheRepublicOfUngeria]

If you are pale anyways, it's time to go to the fucking hospital. You know, the magic hospital with all that free healthcare and shit (basically the same way in real life over there in the UK with your freedom hating, commie NHS right? :P). Or you could always trade places with a poor Somalian child, you ungrateful twat.

[TheRepublicOfUngeria]

Limpid tears? It might work if it flowed well with the rest of the vocabulary but it doesn't, it sounds forced, it's like you are speaking out of a thesaurus

[miffy328]

who wrote the fan fic?

[cthulhuforpres117]

This was read on whachow lololololol

[Kurotard]

On the comment about Stephanie Meyer... I'll be honest, Twilight, no ANYTHING is better than that shitty fanfiction. I hate Twilight with a burning passion, but this is... Oh God... Someone have any happy cake now? I'm pissed. -_-

[crusnikgal01]

It hurts... Oh God, it hurts... The pain in my brain. The humor of you reading it lightens the agony. XD

[theripper32694]

When I think of Gothic girls, I think of fat ugly chicks (Not that they all are, just the ones I've seen) and when reading that horrible fanfic I had to imagine Draco fucking some fat ugly chick with enough rolls to feed a country.

[mlyhnslyx]

i ♥ his actions.

[cgaurd52]

Just simply writing the word "cup" would be a better fanfic than this crap.

[smartcookies123]

Each chapter makes me die a little inside.

[FuckingKupkakes]

my friend was telling me about the fanfic and was quoting things =m= i died a lil on the outside cus it was so horribl....when i die on the inside im happy XD ok, no really it fucking sucks, SERIOUSLY is the girl fuck 2, no thats offensive to toddlers they can write better =,= ughhh

[lega2108]

ebony darkness DEMENTIA raven xDDDDDD

[NomNomNicky]

When he reads that so hawt you know what scene, ALL DAH PANTIES DROP.

[TheKristinaAnn]

I want your Zelda Shield.

[kay9tr]

Oh hai Mark! I almost choked to death laughing at the motherfucker line.

[AnyaObservian]

I got a headache two minutes in...

[PaniniXChowder]

Actually it can rain and snow at the same time, it's called sleet.

[ogdayflow]

omo HOW ARE YOU STILL ALIVE!?!?! i stopped reading after chp 10 because i just couldn't take it anymore, my brain hurt too much.

the gestures and acting are spot on, it's too funny! congrats for doing the impossible, great job! XD

[16nwb1]

I'm on fantiction and I heard about this, but becase it had been removed, so I couldnt read it but omg now I've heard it, it's so bad that unfortunatly it is so funny XD

[weasleychicks93]

holy crap. i actually read this story from chapter one to chapter how-ever-many-there-are-i-don'­t-really-remember-because-i-wa­s-dumbed-down-after-losing-10,­000-brain-cells. I even did the drinking game to it. Ran out of orange juice and apple juice and water and finally i was forced to eat oatmeal. I never wanna look at oatmeal again. I called my friend while reading it and cried "I WISH I WAS ILLITERATE SO THIS SH!T MADE SENSE!" I cried when I found out there is a sequel.

[NaidaIldri]

HOW DID YOU READ THIS? its like a train wreck, i can't look AWAY. BRAIN CELLS, DON'T RUN!

[lunadeanimaniac]

the 2 ppl who disliked this is tara gilesby herself and her editor

[singersk8rgirl426]

this girl is the rebecca back of fanfiction

[TamashiiAngel]

That point at 6 : 23 ("A lot of cool boys...") had me twisting my head every which way for a few minutes trying to figure out what it said. Once I did, I giggled because my gay (he is gay, I'm not being offensive) twin brother walked in after just applying his make up. I had him read the story. He now avoids my computer like the plague. All I need now is to hack his computer and set the fic (or a re-write) as his home page.

... I'm a cruel little sister, aren't I?

[jac619]

i really truly want to kill this persons computer so it would never be used for such horrible writing ever again. I tried looking this up to see if u were just fucking around and i found a few hundred commentarys on fanfic.net. Sadly the original got deleted so i couldn't troll

[jac619]

i really truly want to kill this persons computer so it would never be used for such horrible writing ever again. I tried looking this up to see if u were just fucking around and i found a few hundred commentarys on fanfic.net

[jac619]

i really truly want to kill this persons computer so it would never be used for such horrible writing ever again

[sandraneedschocolate]

I just finished reading it xDDDDDDDDDD

Dude, it was so horrible.

[Frajdsson]

the person who wrote this fanfic seem to wish to live and look like the way the person describes x)

[LMTR14]

what does hannis mean anyway...?

[LMTR14]

she isn't necessary underage in England

[sophsoph456]

@LMTR14 She is, you have to be 18 in England to drink. But, that's beside the point. This is My Immortal, laws are irrelevant.

[LMTR14]

da chapta

[SpyroMinxy]

nice shield :3

[OKDeltron]

Hahaha

[PineBrookMotorLodge]

Speaking of unlucky numbers, the address of the Airport Motel in Teterboro, NJ, was originally supposed to be 656, but was deemed by the owners of the establishment to be close to 666. The number 636 US Route 46 was applied instead. And at the Sky Top Motel in Dover,NJ, there is no room 13.

[emoguys11]

WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING YOU MOTHERFUCKERS!

That's the best line ever.

[eambers]

@emoguys11 its funny because its actually MOTHERFUKERS the way tara spells it

[bandm1987]

Good Charlotte concerts have mosh pits? What the fuck?

[Izzy41630]

While I agree that this fanfic is very, very shitty, the weather is not entirely impossible. In Atlantic Canada, it snows and rains at the same time, ALL the time in winter, spring, and fall. We get them individually too, but they do happen simultaneously a lot.

[BeautifullyDark46]

omg. My friend told me about it and I read it. It's the worse fanfic ever! Yet you lol at it. This little girl cannot write no sex scenes. She's got some issues and needs help. She's a disgrace to inspiring writers like me. smh.

[elphabarocks]

You, sir, are my hero

[ShortCircuit11]

oh my fuck. i have a dent in my skull where i whacked it into my desk during this. that girl needs help. what a disgarce to everything involved... harry potter, mcr... literature. the devil is hiding his face in embarassment.

but i fucking love the way you express everything dude, your HILARIOUS.

[kcc1396]

I am going to find this girl and kill her

[TheElectricDreamer93]

I feel like a bad person, because I want to send a copy to the english teacher I had last year. I'm just afraid I'd put him in a coma because of how awful this is.

[TechnoMetalDude]

@ 6:49 I got it aliento! its from the room, I WANT MY INTERNETS!

[floodboy55]

i thought about going back and shredding this monstrosity down and rebuilding it back up to see what her reaction would be. then i read it again. . .i puked all over my laptop.

[FaeryGirlsRock]

Apparently they didn't help with spelling that much.

[FaeryGirlsRock]

OMG IT WAS HORRIBLE!

[Pwndu232]

I love the music!

[ReedTheDoormouse]

Bahahahahahaha omg i just died and went to fanfiction HEAVEN!!!!

666 omgggg hilaaarious!!!

[TheGodsCream]

WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING YOU MOTHERFUCKERS?

[cuteyaya101294]

this sucks!!!!!!

[Ledgendveemon]

YOU ARE A GOD AMONG MEN!

[cyclocius]

I won the Internet! I feel this is an undeserved honour, I've already had my sanity blasted by the divine majesty of "The Room".

[TheDarkFox10]

YOU'RE TEARING ME APART EBONY! Oh hai Aliento, how is your sex life?

[DrDumb002]

@TheDarkFox10 DON'T TUUSH ME, MUDDERFUHCKER.

[sallas09]

This is so unspeakably bad and yet I can't help but be fascinated and keep reading...

[NaMeLeSsnOOblol]

can i have that beer in the backround on the shelf... i need it after listening to this

[NaMeLeSsnOOblol]

i need a link to this fanfic so i can troll it

[A4L1000]

WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING YOU MUTHAF***ERS?!

[HaYhAy324]

You call that a lemon?!? That Tara chick has some serious problem...I'm pretty sure she killed a third of my brian cells with just the first four chapters!! But this is too funny to stop watching so...

[Artprincess247]

sounds more like a diary being read rather then an fanfiction

[TheRepublicOfUngeria]

@Artprincess247 Is the proper grammar really an fanfiction like an historical...? I have seen "an" being applied when the next word doesn't start with a vowel more than once, and now I am wondering if I am the one who's retarded.

[714RIPPER]

Lawl, my friend Tara showed me this. I am glad to see the author's name is also Tara.

[starryeyedwr1ter44]

LOL!

[mmakra111]

I died when he said "blonde face" xD

[pandachick90]

Also, I'm pretty sure whoever wrote this is a complete virgin.

[pandachick90]

And I thought i wrote bad fanfic...

[ImStupidInTheLove]

Dementria is a brain disfuction

[Rozzlin95]

This is awesome. Also, I'm jealous of you for your Hylian shield :P

[LaceroVii]

Dear god, this horrible. This actually makes me feel better about my own stories.

[EmiHosana]

EL. OH. EL.

[camilleonBBJ]

Hogwarts is in Ireland stupid!

[pudupudu]

@camilleonBBJ it's in Scotland, but you're right that it's not England

[camilleonBBJ]

@pudupudu You're right, my bad

[byakugan8trigrams]

haha you can hear evanescence's 'my immortal' in the background XD SHE'S A DISGRACE TO AMY LEE!

[xXViolanteXx]

.....Her friend helped with spelling and still 50% of the story has spelling mistakes.

So we have learned gothic vampire satanists can't spell.

[perrottafamily1]

I love your breakdown at the end :D

[pinkpokadot100]

Made it through chapter 4.

*stands up*

DONE!

[mooncatrose]

You remind me so much of my nephew. He's six.

I have so much hope for him! :3

[JDahlHD]

i heard that one of them have big bob's

[Quietus767]

1)That shield. I'm fucking jealous,

2)Wow, that was hilarious.

3)I cracked up at the end.

[oheeekamay]

that hylian shield... my jealousy...

[satinsguard]

Wow, even when the first chapter was put out it was already flamed.

[Adonvara]

Ahaha, I love you. And the Hyrule shield in the background :3

[AmyTheJawsTerminator]

GIVE. ME. A. LINK. TO. THIS. FANFIC!!!! I WANNA READ THIS ON MAH ON!

[Trisscarr]

You could only write something this bad on purpose.

[QuickstartBlazin]

I love you

[Bryan9796]

Flirtily is an ADVERB. Idiot. That's the only part of this i have any issues with though. lol

[foolsivorywings]

*sighs* This story is so offensive to goths everywhere, I feel so bad for them right now.

[FlaminFingaz]

This story makes me smh so hard.

[JonathanHallShow]

I buy all of my clothes at Hot Topic, And you preps should know my as goffic. I'm checking my list, As I slit both my wrists, And you know II just can't stop it! My hair is black and Ebony, My boots laced up all the way! You know, some blood in my cofee Is how I start the day! My name is TTTTTTAAAAAARRRRRRRRAAAAAA GGGGIIIIIILLLLLLEEEEESSS- I'm done rhyming.

[STAYplatinumx]

this makes me laugh, more or less because 7th year taking place in 1997,

[Purpleisawesome93]

It snows and rain at the same time in Minecraft :D

[volcanotornado7]

THE ROOM! IT FOLLOWS ME EVERYWHERE.

[ShirohebiColours]

I love the way you laugh when you are reading the most stupid parts!

[satinsguard]

I only got to Chapter 12 before I gave up. You made it through this nightmare, and have a stronger will than I do, and probably stronger arms. Want to help me lift some dead bodies?

[HotYaoiLove]

This is pretty awesome. It's hard to listen to let alone read. Very nice job. XD

[moonpaw1109]

HEY HEY!

Wicca isin't Satanism...Just pointing out... (If you didin't know, WIcca is where the pentagram came from.)

Other then that... Nice vid. XD

[WriterMiki]

@moonpaw1109 Just to say, the pentagram didn't come just from Wicca (Though it is a large part expressing Wicca faith) It has been found in ancient Mesopotamian writings dating back to 3000 BC and has been used in numerous religions.

Also, the pentacle (A star within a circle) is more widely used in a religious view. The pentagram is just another word for a star pentagon. The most common way to draw a star.

[moonpaw1109]

@WriterMiki Didin't read the thing cause' I knew it would be critisism.

Good day.

[WriterMiki]

@moonpaw1109 Oh, Sorry... I wasn't trying to criticize. Just there is a lot of mixed information regarding the Pentagram. I was just merely stating a fact. I'm very sorry if it came of in a criticizing way.

[moonpaw1109]

@WriterMiki ...I didin't even READ the message cause' I KNEW it'd be critisism.

[WriterMiki]

@moonpaw1109 But, it wasn't criticism, it was information... :/

[moonpaw1109]

@WriterMiki Even so, if it was incorrect information, I woulden't want to start a fight about it, so I just didin't read that message.

[WeaknessToAbuse]

One day I will break my rule of never drinking alcohol and totally have a marathon of watching you and getting drunk. Everyone knows that's the only way to get through this story.

[imtiredallright]

i read those first chapters and its just horrible XC.

[JustaKidXD]

kay little gurl! u r the most wanna-be goth in the history of goths, emos, punkers, and scenes! i will stab ur vampire-worshiping-wanna-be boooootaaayyy!!!! if u were a real goth u wouldn't be flaunting your stereotypical band t shirts as if all friggin goths listen to screamo! honestly, my clique would be embarrassed to hang out with a gurl that wishes she were suicidal--which is also stereotypical...and btw im a goth...AND VAMPIRES FREAK ME OUT! STICK THAT N UR JUICE BOX AND SUCK IT! XP

[WowUrFcknHxC]

slytherin's common room is in the dungeons, not opening to the great hall... at least in my memory...

[supermusicfreak101]

....Give the guy an oscar for reading this with a strieght face.

[joshmonster94]

... The room reference?

[Dayntei]

"...For helpin me wit da story n spelling"

You had a spellchecker... Honey, l33t is not a language...

[HeinrichKonig]

...don't tell her this, but 666 isn't actually the number of the beast, that's just cos of a bible mistranslation XP and also don't tell her that pentagrams have nothing to do with devil worship, they're a pagan symbol of the female deity.

Any goths reading this, get your demonology right before you start worshipping a horned fucker with a horse cock :P

[hustlax]

Right in the beginning, you know it's a troll. "Help for the story and SPELLING"? Yes, you would NEED help for a story this atrocious.

[Crayterm13]

Lol, I read the story right before this, and thumbs up for the Link shield in the background.

[HUA12312]

Comment removed by Hilary FUCKING Duff.

[Mcdovin1]

Ummm ya... People actually write this shit? This person should publish and be the next Rebecca Black or whatever of the fanfic generation. It's so bad, I might actually read some of my work on here to show some hope. I honestly think this is worse then William Golding and his overly descriptive "Lord of the Flies". Yes I get his point but my god why is it so fucking detailed. I tried, I really tried to like it but ya I just can't. Anyways you are a legend.

[lilanimedreamer]

ROFL

[funkyorange2]

I love your eyebrows.

[cyberebel]

*dies of laughter* Thank you for making this entertaining instead of torturous. This is just...shoot me now material. 

[chiorpie]

OMG! I can't even comment on your videos anymore... To busy dying... These girls need to learn to write . Hell, this is worse than one of those books R.L STIEN writes whenever he needs a new pool.

[Brianna10million]

My braincells just died. How can anyone call this WRITING?

[Brianna10million]

@synsemanticSydney Thank you for stating the truth!

[Brianna10million]

@ChiTsumai Saying you hope she's 13 is an insult to ME! I don't even use text speak on the internet, write my own stories and find stuff like this disgusting! You're right, this isn't writing.

[Serenityrockstar]

What!?!? Draco put his thingie in Voldemort!?!?!? i didn't know he went that way

[Serenityrockstar]

Draco.Shy hahaha thats real funny

[Serenityrockstar]

Gee your a vampire but have straight teeth...your a fucked up Vampire then

[autogirl333]

He put his thingy into her thingy? My god this is better then watching porn!

[gammaOrionis77]

Hate to bitch about this because your reading is otherwise excellent, but the pentagram is not Satanic. It is Wiccan, and Wicca is a beautiful religion that we must all hope "Ebony Darkness Dementia Raven Way" is not. Frankly there are Satanists all over the world hoping she isn't one either, but that's beside the point. Just because Tara says pentagrams are Satanic, doesn't mean they are. Next time you are referencing a religious symbol, do a few minutes of research first.

[equivalentXexchange]

@gammaOrionis77 there are many MANY practices of satanism there are a few that dont even involve satan himself we also have diffrent kinds of pentagrams too. our pentagram is quite similar to those of wiccan and often get mistaken for it or vice versa but it is rather annoying and embarising when idiots write shit like this and people start thinking we're all emo crazy vampire obsessed trash like our ebony here :P (sigh)

[gammaOrionis77]

Hate to bitch about this because your reading is otherwise excellent, but the pentagram is not Satanic. It is Wiccan, and Wicca is a beautiful religion that we must all hope "Ebony Darkness Dementia Raven Way" is not. Frankly there are Satanists all over the world hoping she isn't one either, but that's beside the point. Just because Tara says pentagrams are Satanic, doesn't mean they are. Next time you are referencing a religious symbol, do a few minutes of research first.

[ravage154]

6:47 had me rofl for a good the minutes.

[Ninox37]

Whiskey

Tango

Foxtrot

[imnotcrazy15]

How does she manage to breath on her own? Also, I love you! (not in THAT way)

[scoobyfan1224]

SHE EREASED THIS FANFICTION! I'M PISSED!

[nicoleb]

OMG! Zelda shield! XD You're pretty good at reading, too. I'd be stuttering my ass off.

[inuyasha116]

You desvered an award for telling most of it straight through without cracking up. thumbs up if you agree!

[RealBronzeClaws]

Hehe.... apparently vamps get an exception from the dress-code of Hogwarts.

It's mandatory that the authors of fanfics say that there's an OC pairing and that the real characters are OOC - oh, and that their stories are shit, too.

[crazychick10122]

Hahaha is this suppose to be funny xD hahaha wow :D

Ps.I like how u read :P

[KisaTigger]

What is hannis?

[brunsworks]

@KisaTigger I think he was shooting for an "Enoby"-style way of spelling "heinous." Or perhaps "haggis." ;)

[xXxspiralookamixXx]

If I had any alcohol with me, I'd be halfway drunk by now :/

Gotta play the drinking game with my friends one day. Dear god I have to.

[TheMartini1234]

@xXxspiralookamixXx You do realise that you'll die of alcohol poisoning halfway through one episode?

[ImStupidInTheLove]

@xXxspiralookamixXx every time you read something stupid

[xam9856]

@xXxspiralookamixXx If I had any alcohol on me I would be dead from alcohol poisoning T_T

[NorweganWood]

"I really fancy Garad Way, so I want him to be my brother"

*dies*

[JinnKimura]

I laugh at how your face almost winces in pain when you read it XD It seriously is a god-awful story

[BadBloodwillout]

This is the best fanfiction ever written. I am awed by this masterpiece.

[Caramelooo1]

Oh my.....

[TheBeastBandit]

I spy a Legend of Zelda shield. MY SIR. You are full of win for THAT REASON.

But also, you made me laugh my fucking ass off. :3

[MrKancode]

I wonder if she purposely stereotyped herself in everyway possible on purpose. Its the most pathetic thing ive ever heard. I think it could be a joke.

[cavgurl07]

I just heard about this fanfic from the FanFic Critic and looked it up. Nice reading! It made me laugh! (even though I'm not a Harry Potter fan)

[CruddyWebcamProducts]

Would've found it better that in your 4000 views description edit if you wrote it in the style of the idiot who wrote My Immortal.

[Dannawhin]

Oh god, this is FUCKING AMAZING XD

[purplepandafromhells]

Zelda Shield ftw XD

[umbrellamelon]

Hahaha, I can tell you're trying really hard not to burst into laughter.