Some kids are so hard headed you could beat the crap out of them and nothing happens. Others you can give the stern look and they melt. Kobe seems to be that kind of child, taking away privileges and getting confronted by BOTH parents embarrassed him and got him thinking.
@ 1:43 Kobe, pick those up. The mom hated saying this and you can tell she had no backbone because she's saying it as she walks away. Words don't mean shit, it's how you say them, and the posturing that enforces discipline. I'd say it to his face, and stand over his ass until he picked up every last piece of trash.
The boy clearly didn't need a smack. Not once was he smacked under supernannys rules and he turned out very well behaved. So yeah, kids DON'T need smacked. EVER
With me when i was misbehaving i got hit over the head with a wooden brush, it taught me to straighten up. I also believe that disapline is everything when raising children.
My parents say that if you get hit by someone, hit them back.. My friends told me that their parents said the same.. So if you spank a 4 yr old wouldn't it get confused and spank parents back??
People now a days are such pussey's -____- Im asian, this means i break ONE SIMPLE FUCKING THING im dead, and people now are wusses for relying on this woman to help take care of their kids. Its ok to beat your kid, if its for discipline. >.>
Dad set rules and stuck to them but mom did not which confused the child and left him feeling in charge which he was not psychologically mature enough for so that was cause of the behaviour. Dad set rules and stuck to them, child knew dad ment what he said, so felt secure with dad.
I was spanked once as a child. I was spanked once because I was being pissy and ridiculous. I was spanked once and once only, because I learnt straight away that if I behaved badly, I would get a slap across the arse. So I behaved myself. It didn't even hurt in the slightest, but it worked. Spanking is only a bad answer if you are actually trying to hurt your child.
i believe some children do need to be spanked, and that includes this child. the fact that he is willing to raise his hand and smack his mother is very disrespectful. and i understand that u dont want to ur children to fear u. but u shouldnt have to b scared of ur children either.
Sorry but have4 to say this but for those of you who would hit their children with a belt disgusts me. Why would you hurt your child? If someone hit my child with a belt I would phone social services.
This child is living proof that there is no such thing as Attention Deficit Disorder. If the dad wasn't there then any shrink would say ADD for sure. But with the dad he is an angel so he can't be "ADD". It just goes to show that with proper diet and discipline and following through with consequences we don't need these drugs the so called experts try to push on our kids.
I can already tell your an insignificant 11 year old that should not be commenting on the show, but should IN the show, itself for your stupidity and anger issues.
You are just as non-assertive as the mother was in the beginning if you actually think that if you were in the mothers situation it would be right to not even attempt to handle it and send your 5 year old straight to prison. You are acting just as immature as him, grow up and realize what you are saying.
Im tired of seeing these comments about how he needs a good spanking, a whip with a belt, etc. How do you assume that is going to help. He is already abusive enough.
& all these "When I was a kid.." No one cares, this isn't you, this isn't your family, this isn't set back to the date of when you were that age.
@queta89 i agree 100% i was spanked as a child and when i got spanked, i would think before i act. It helps u realize that what ur doing is wrong and dont do it or else u will be hit again!
I think Koby has anger issues and may have to see a professional to help him with that! But having a stable family unit seems to have helped a great deal! Anger issues doesn't make him a bad child at all, it just makes him hard to deal with, but once he learns to control his anger and channel it in a positive way then things will be 100% better!
@TheMissrachel63 Lady, you obviously haven't read soap ingredients. Now this is the last time I speak to you, I do not respect ANYONE who condones putting soap in a defenseless child's mouth.
I DARE you try that crap with someone who can fight back. Try it, just once, lady, once!!!
Ugh, this is the last post, I will delete EVERY post you send me, no wait, I'll just block you.
@TheMissrachel63 Again, don't you wag your arrogant finger at me and accuse me of not understanding.
I understand that you fail as a parent, and the option you choose to discipline a child that doesn't fit your mold is to spank them into submission.
"Breaking a child's will?" Typical Pearl camp fundy dominionist garbage. Do I REALLY need to read EVERYTHING you said? You're a disturbing individual, it's pointless to discuss this with people like you. You're insane.
@TheMissrachel63 Oh, so spanking the kid will stop them from sneaking off? Whatever, lady. My kid went out ONCE to the park without permission, ONCE, never again. I did NOT resort to spanking. Of all the insane...ugh, I can't even stomach talking to shells of people like you, you have no heart, no nothing, you're dark, black, dead inside.
I have ZERO tolerance for people like you and ZERO respect. Again, don't ask for it.
@TheMissrachel63 Don't you tell me I "clearly have no idea" about anything.
Hitting is hitting, whether it's a swat on the butt or a slap in the face. There is but only ONE "positive" effect of spanking, and that is the effect of LESS WORK for the parent.
Parenting is not easy. It is easy to spank a child into submission, the real trick is to get them to respect you without breaking their will, or spanking them. Can you do it? Can those who think like you do it?
@TheMissrachel63 Spanking is not an opinion. Spanking is a disturbing trend among the disturbed and it needs to be illegal and rated as ASSAULT, and I will NEVER respect anyone who resorts to using spanking as a disciplinary tool. So you grow up. When you have an actual opinion that I can respect, then I will, but as far as spanking goes, never.
You will NEVER get my respect, and those who think like you, so don't ever ask for it.
@BastEternal ...Ok you dont agree with spanking not a big deal. But Spanking really does get your kids in line i mean i dont like spanking i just smack my kids butt and say ''NO'' and so when they try to do that, they well remeber ''I shouldent do that because there's gunna be bad things happening'' Its not really fear its just a head up on whats gunna happen if you do that again :D
Absolutely. ALL spanking is disturbing. Corporal punishment used on babies and children, regardless of country of origin. Parenting is such an incredible opportunity to TEACH children how to behave in the world. Why hit? Why smack? Why pop? They're just children for goodness sake. They don't know anything. TEACH with words and by example.
Why have kids if you're going to hit them? If you're going to hit, hit someone who is going to hit back. Not defenseless children.
@TheMissrachel63 That's complete bull. My son respects me, and I did it without spanking. I taught him to use his words, and it has worked wonders. Kids do NOT need physical punishment, all they need is a LOT of patience. If you need to MAKE (aka force) your kid to "respect" you, it's not real respect. It's 100% fear. Period.
I swear the lot of you who are pro "breaking the will" of a child subscribe to dominionism and Michael Pearl child abuse tactics. Sick bastards!
@TheMissrachel63 I see that, again, there is something wrong with you. How about not allowing the kid to go near the tracks in the first place? How about not letting the kid wander off? It's YOUR JOB as a parent to keep the kid safe. What about a kid who jumps into a pool and drowns because safety measures weren't put in place? What are you gonna say "gee, that kid should have been spanked, he would have been alive in the first place if his parents had just laid a belt on 'im."?
@TheMissrachel63 Wow, you advocate putting poisons in a child's mouth because they used a curse word?
There's something seriously wrong with you. I have a 15 yr old child that I've NEVER had to resort to beating or putting soap in his mouth to get him to behave.
@TheMissrachel63 Attacking you?? lol for someone who thinks hitting little kids with weapons is a good thing you sure come off sounding like a little pussy. Watch supernanny the davis family. maybe you will learn something. I'm done with you and your redneck hillbilly child beating discussions. Do not respond to me I won't read it. Watch the davis family please for the sake of your kids or future kids, or anyone else you may influence. I have to go vomit now you have made me sick.
@TheMissrachel63 -- I thought I might be able to use logic and common sense with you but obviously not because you are very old fashioned and set in your ways. I mean a Belt??? are you serious??? WOW.
This is the last thing i'm going to say-- The idea behind parenting is to teach your children right from wrong and have them do the right thing because they want to, not because they are scared of there parents!!
@PunkRockPat I bet you are a christian also right?? It's the same idea- do the right thing or God will burn you!
anyway like I have said people like you are far too stubburn to ever consider using parenting methods that require effort or energy. Do you even have kids? Do you seriously hit them with a belt and also give time outs??? Talk about mixed signals. Hopefully, you don't actually have children and never will. ..............................................................In my opinion.lol
@PunkRockPat Just fyi, there are people out here who have read this debate, and I for one am rooting for you all the way!
Spanking is a piss poor disciplinary option, it doesn't even teach lessons, it teaches fear. Spanking is what you do when you as a parent fail at everything else, reasoning and patience, for example.
Spanking is not needed to raise a well-adjusted, well-behaved child.
@TheMissrachel63 The parents should be using (and therefore teaching) Patience and consistency in there decipline. The time out chair system does work, so does the old stand in the corner for ten minutes system. But this only works if the parents have the fortitude to stick to it unstead of buckling under the pressure. It takes a ton of patience and character to do this effectivly but hey I agree it's a lot easier to just hit them, but logic tells me its wrong. btw I have 3 kids, 14,10 and 7
@TheMissrachel63 Hands to strike a child is a clear sign of someone who doesn't have control of the situation. It's just like yelling, it shows weakness and anger. Obviously it's o.k to be angry but expressing the anger in the form of yelling or hitting is clearly not healthy behavior and thats not a matter of opinion at all. These parents fail because they do not enforce the punishment, they just repeat themselves saying no,no,no..don't do that, stop it, no, no, no. Do you see the problem?
@TheMissrachel63 Well Obviously it's my opinion because I'm the one typing it so that is just pointless to mention. The only reason I would want other people to see the light is because of the children, you're obviously a loss cause at this point. Of course you were spanked, so was I, most people were, especially over the age of 30, But that is not a good argument for repeating the abuse. You do seem like a smart enough person so I do not understand how you can't see that using your...
@TheMissrachel63 You are 100% completly wrong and so is everyone who agreed with you. Hitting your children is never the right solution. Hitting anybody is never the right solution. When you choose to hit, You are sending a very clear message that you are Weak, out of control and violent-which is the exact oppisite of what a good role model should be. I mean do you even have a comprehension of what a role model is???? It's time people started looking at these issues with logic instead of con't
The mother is obviously still in love with the dad.
The youngest kid they'll be lucky if he doesn't grow up to wind up behind bars. This is why you can't outlaw spanking. Not all kids need it, but some might (and NEVER used in anger).
Oh my god. This child's behaviour makes me disgusted. How the hell do you let it escalate to this extent? She let him get away with things far too long.
If I did that growing up, I don't think I'd be alive today. I was always concerned with my actions because of the consequences. I was afraid of what my parents would do. Not that it's a good thing to instill fear in your child, but they have to think of the aftermath of their actions. They can NEVER get away with ANYTHING.
I grew up getting spanked & think that's what this kid really needed. It took way too long for him to straighten up with all the time outs and talks. He needed one or two spankings when he was acting up and he would've been better. Discipline starts early on not when things start getting bad. While some kids don't require a spanking, others clearly need it and their parents are walking around trying to be their best friend.
@queta89 What is "too long"?? So is that what the problem is, according to you? That being a parent means you must do things as quickly as possible?
Raising a child and teaching them takes TIME!!! Spanking is the "fast track" to violence! So WHAT if it takes "too long" to teach a child a real lesson that can be utilized in the future? Guess what? This kid will be able to handle many more situations by breathing through it, using self-relaxation techniques, instead of LASHING out and HITTING.
@BastEternal Spanking is not the fast track to violence, I'm not violent and I was spanked as a child. A simple swat on the butt with your hand when a child does something wrong isn't going to lead to any violence. But like I said, not every child needs to be spanked; however there are those that do. I respected my parents as a kid because of the way I was raised. Self-relaxation techniques don't work on every kid. Spare the rod & spoil the child. You can teach ur kid while spanking them.
I agree. Some kids respond to being smacked. Some don't. and also, it depends on what reasons they were smacked for. and the level of anger.
controlled physical discipline is ok. as long as you explain why they are being punished. and don't show extreme anger while smacking a child.
when I was smacked it was always out of anger. it didn't really help me to become a better person. and I was smacked like once or twice a year. not that much. it was just a loss of control.
@Rowan07001484 I come from a family that disciplines children that way. I don't think it does much except for give the children fear. But not all children respond to this type of discipline. I personally think that it sometimes can actually fuel the bad behavior. I don't necessarily agree with it because i feel that it is not good for children to have fear of items such as belts, or their own parents (being physically hurt by their parents that is). But that's just me, and i'm 12
@queta89 By spanking him the parents are just going to be sending mixed signals. That's not what they need to do when they are trying to tell him that hitting is wrong. If they start spanking him, he will just see that as it's okay to hit. But they do need to enforce discipline like taking away privileges and making him take responsibility for his actions.
@swimmergurrl1 Well that's just you. I had spankings as a kid & I never got used to it. It taught me to respect my mother & I thought about the consequences before I did anything. For me it worked, for others it didn't. It just depends on the child. Because I have a niece and spankings are the only thing to work on her. Everyone has their opinions about spankings & for some parents it's not necessary, but there are those kids who really need it.
@queta89 Agreed i rememeber my little brother tried to play that little shit with my mom and we where trying to take a picture at walmart ....My mom took his little ass in the bathroom and when they came out he was in his chair sitting still as a rock, what people dont know its not making kids afraid of you it's just letting them know. Uh oh remeber what happen last time.
@Jonaeproductionx3 Yea I agree, it's not making them afraid of you it's teaching them to respect you & they learn not to test you. I knew this kid who got a whipping then threatened to call CPS on his mother(he was 9), how the hell does a child know about CPS? Some parents(not all) are afraid of that & will let their kids' behavior escalate. When I was little, if I acted up in a store I would be taken to the bathroom for a spanking & I was no longer misbehaving. But to each their own.
I was hardly ever smacked, but I was once every now and then. and it didn't work. It does work for some young kids I think. not older ones. it just depends on what kind of behaviour you are trying to correct.
I was smacked by my dad for going to the supermarket alone, while on holiday. without telling anyone. I was about 10. He went mad. cornered me in my room, and began hitting me
physical punishment never worked with me. it just made me feel like if I had been bad. I couldn't be honest with my parents about it. so if I had done something wrong outside the home. I wouldn't come clean. My mum was fine. But my dad. had an angry streak. I still don't respect him. I don't hate him. But I don't really like him at all.
@MrCherryCola Spanking is generally frowned upon in today's society though. When I was screaming and acting up as a child, my parents resorted to spanking and I screamed even more, which is why I refuse to use it on my future children.
@queta89 spanking is not the miracle solution everyone thinks it is, all you would do by that is teaching the child to be afraid of you, be afraid of pain and in addition to that you would be feeding into his already deep and powerful anger. teaching the child to control that anger is much better. violence only instigates more violence. my father spanked us alot when we where bad, and the only thing we learned was to fear.
2. If you rule through fear, what happens when the fear disappears? When it no longer hurts to be spanked, or they are big enough to smack you back? Then what is their incentive to listen and show the behaviours you want??? If you haven’t taught them values, as well as to make smart and good behavioural choices through teaching them about consequences and the importance of kindness towards others, but have chosen to keep bad behaviour down through fear, then the good behaviour has no longevity.
@queta89 I'm sorry, but I think that is the most illogical argument ever, that has not been thought through properly.
1. Kids look to you for guidance on how you relate to, and communicate with, others. You can't yell at them not to yell, or hit them to show them that hitting is wrong, because by you doing it you are saying that it is acceptable. You’re showing them that anger is dealt with through screaming and/or violence, and that it is okay to be physically or verbally abusive.
@TheMissrachel63 At the end of the day, I'll always believe what is suggested by the most credible evidence to me (only from primary sources) and what I have learned in my training at the psychiatric hospital and at university. Everyone has different sources of their knowledge. However, I also acknowledge my own background, childhood experiences and individual values as a factor. To pretend otherwise is to disregard what makes us human. Anyway, that's it for me. :)
@TheMissrachel63 I guess another interesting finding from some studies was that the effects of spanking depended on the child's view of the acceptability of it as a punishment (Gunnoe).That really surprised me.She hypothesised that this was why older children responded less well to it.Also puts the studies from the 70s into perspective.So yes,I have learned new things from this discussion. :)
@TheMissrachel63 Didn't mean you accused me of anything.I put "attacking" into quotation marks because it seemed like too strong a word. :)Okay,I understand that not everyone may have access to these studies.It's just that when you see the abstracts(I can't always access full text either!) you can already tell the results stated something different than it says in the news report.I guess as a psychological researcher,I'm naturally biased against media reports because they distort/omit so often.
@TheMissrachel63 I'm not "attacking" the part of your POV that you base on your experience, because that is your experience.But the part based on scientific studies I have to disagree with, because it is possible to show a tendency one way or the other, and the actual PRIMARY SOURCES and metananalyses show clear evidence against spanking.So do psych. theories and clinical practice.I've seen time-outs in a modified form work for teens with mental health problems who smashed windows with branches.
@TheMissrachel63 Sorry, I really don't mean to be harsh or anything, it's just very frustrating for a reseearcher when scientific findings are misrepresented in the popular media. I have no doubt at all that the American popular media agree with your point of view, and I acknowledge that there are some studies that, under some circumstances, do not show harmful effects. There are also some studies that fail to support the effectiveness of aspirin for headaches.
@TheMissrachel63 My point is that your references are opinions not scientific studies, or they are secondary citations of scientific studies. The actual studies themselves when you look them up don't say what these articles claim. You also have to consider methodological factors such as the analyses used. It's a shame my link to a peer-reviewed journal didn't work, because it said that Gunnoes herself stated she would NEVER spank her children, given the harmful effects her studies showed.
@TheMissrachel63 But the point is that your references are opinions not scientific studies, or they are secondary citations of scientific studies. The actual studies themselves when you look them up in the journals don't say what you say they are saying. It's a shame my link to a peer-reviewed journal didn't work, because it said that Gunnoes herself stated she would NEVER spank her children, given the harmful effects her studies showed.
@TheMissrachel63 And before I forget, I'm not against immediate consequences at all.Children should learn that actions have consequences,and you can't always argue about it again if the child isn't ready to understand the reasoning behind it. So I actually think that things like time-outs are a good solution because they give the child time to reflect. It's not about dominance; it's about taking the child out of the situation, taking privileges away and making it stop and settle down.
@TheMissrachel63 And whether we agree or not (my guess is we never will, but that's okay as I did actually learn something through looking up the evidence :) ), please read this article: h ttp:/ / ww w. springerlink. com / content/3h66 pch1lhl10dec / It is a very comprehensive summary of older evidence also mentioning Gunnoe. If the link doesn't work, the reference is Straus (2001): "New Evidence for the Benefits of Never Spanking". Should be available for free on Springer Link.
@TheMissrachel63 So to summarise, I can accept differences in opinion, but I disagree factually that the majority of research on spanking supports benefits over risks. In a very rough PsycINFO search alone, there were about two studies showing benefits, several showing harm, and many showing no effect at all.
I also looked up Gunnoe, and her results are more mixed, depending on ethnicity and age:
@TheMissrachel63 I just think we should be careful not to take it for granted that it's either "the parents' rights and business" or "the government's rights and business". These are cultural and socially determined norms which vary over time and place. Where I live at the moment, it is not the right of the parents to spank their child, and I personally disagree with the assumption that children are somehow their parents' property. But I can see your point of view as well.
@TheMissrachel63 I admit that it's positive that they controlled for other variables, which may in part explain the non-significant results as it's hard to find anything when you partial out other variables, from a statistical point of view. I can fully respect your opinion that it should be the parents' right to make this decision, while it's my opinion that the burden of proof for benefits should lie with the side proposing the violence. This is based on cultural and individual values.
@TheMissrachel63 It is hardly surprising that no significant difference was found between the "yellow" and the "green" category, because the categories were by definition not very different from one another. So not finding a difference between the groups that could overcome the type I error threshold of p<0.05 does NOT mean the same as saying "spanking isn't harmful". Drawing this conclusion from one study done in the 60s/70s with non-significant result is a bit far-fetched.
@TheMissrachel63 Their definition of "moderate" spanking was actually very little spanking of no intensity, whatever that is supposed to mean. That is not "moderate" to me. The "yellow" category was the second lowest, and all it said was that there was no significant difference between the second lowest or the lowest category of spanking - neither good nor bad. It doesn't report what the difference for the higher categories was.
@TheMissrachel63 A large body of study neither show benefits nor harm to children from spanking. And for me, as long as the benefits aren't established, it just isn't a practice that should be supported. You wouldn't be able to smack a random adult in the street, so why should you have the right to spank a child? Again, the burden of proof should be with the people who want to allow this form of violence (whether you consider it "abuse" or not).
@TheMissrachel63 I'm sorry, but if the parents can't deal with their built up aggression they just need to find a way to cope. This shouldn't be about the parents' needs, but the kids' needs. The burden of supporting that spanking is successful is on the proponents of spanking. So far, the research doesn't seem to indicate this. There is some question about whether it is harmful, as you're right in saying that not all studies indicate that it is. However, some do and this should be enough.
@TheMissrachel63 I'm not saying the original study documents are messed up -can't make that judgement without reading them- but that secondary sources aren't exactly reliable in their reporting of either side of the issue. The original study can obviously only be read through purchase of the PDF or through access via a database (e.g. Web of Science, PsycINFO, etc.), unless it's freely available on Google Scholar or a government publication. I will look up Marjorie Gunnoe - never heard of her.
@TheMissrachel63 When I looked up the original abstract again, I also couldn't find the statement that "children who were never spanked tended to have behavioural problems". Did you see this in the original study? Sorry, I just really do not trust media reports of scientific evidence. They tend to be hugely flawed.
Here's an APA clarification of the study:
w ww. apa .org / monitor /dec01 /spanking. aspx (without spaces)
@TheMissrachel63 The Baumrind study was just one very well-publicised study, mostly because the results were misrepresented. What she actually found was no significant difference between children who were never spanked and children who were spanked "occasionally with little or no intensitiy". That's basically saying she didn't find a difference between never hitting a kid and rarely hitting a kid with very little intensity, and is hardly supportive of spanking.
@TheMissrachel63 Also, if you suggest that abuse skyrockets where spanking is banned, isn't that basically saying that spanking is a milder form of child abuse, or some sort of "outlet" that parents need? In this case, we are again returning to the emotional needs of the parent, rather than the needs of the child, and spanking as a way to express anger rather than to provide appropriate boundaries for a child.
@TheMissrachel63 Baumrind is certainly an important researcher, but her study is hardly THE most extensive longitudinal study done. Actually, Farrington is considered to be the most important longitudinal researcher of child and adolescent development.
Naturally, in areas where spanking is banned, child abuse skyrockets by definition because spanking is considered child abuse there. It's about how it's counted.
@TheMissrachel63 But psychology can never "prove" anything, only support or fail to support hypotheses, so that's not the basis for arguing that it's "not our business". It IS our business, especially if we are involved in working with children, and we have to think about where our arguments come from. Maybe spanking is to teach, but we have to wonder WHAT it teaches the child. I don't doubt that some kids who are spanked immediately respond to it, but what are the long-term consequences?
@TheMissrachel63 Finally (I promise it's my last citation), a review on research and the use of spanking in the U.S. can be found by Knox (2010) in the Journal of Paediatric Health Care, 24 (2), p. 103-107. Knox described that the majority of studies do show negative outcomes of spanking, and that spanking is associated with a greater risk of child abuse. The reason why it remains popular is 1) intergenerational transfer of violence and 2) the fact that it often produces immediate compliance.
@TheMissrachel63 You might of course ask how we know it's spanking that makes the children more aggressive, rather than the children's aggressive behaviour that elicits more spanking. That's a valid criticism for some of the retrospective studies I have cited. But at least Berlin et al.'s (2009) study cited before checks for child temperament as an influential factor. They found that child temperament at age 2 was not a predictor of subsequent spanking.
@TheMissrachel63 Berlin et al. (2009). Child Development, 80 (9). p. 1403-1420: Spanking at age 1 (but not verbal punishment) was associated with more aggressive behaviour problems at age 2 and a lower Bayley mental development score at age 3. Christie-Mizell et al. (2008). Family Relations, 57 (3), p. 335-350: Spanking was cross-sectionally associated with more depressive symptoms, but this effect was not maintained over time.
@TheMissrachel63 Just as an example for the "teaching aggressive behaviour" viewpoint: Simons and Wurtele (2010). Child Abuse & Neglect. Vol. 34 (9), p. 639-646: Frequent spanking was the strongest predictor of children's (aged 3-7) endorsement of aggressive problem-solving and use of hitting to solve conflicts with peers. Parents who were spanked themselves were more likely to use spanking with their kids --> intergenerational transfer of violence.
@TheMissrachel63 I do appreciate you citing the news reports of the studies, because they are interesting. I just found another one which indicates that aggressive behaviour at a young age is associated strongly with child temperament, irrespective of spanking/not spanking. This association was NOT moderated by parental warmth. Stacks et al. (2009), Infant and Child Development, Vol. 18 (2), p. 178-194.
@TheMissrachel63 I have looked it up.I don't doubt that there are studies that support your viewpoint, too, but the overwhelming majority of studies if you look on PsycINFO or Web of Science clearly indicate that spanking is harmful and that it does teach children that spanking is a way to express anger (rather than a message indicating that their behaviour was wrong). Now I was spanked as a child and I'm not saying it messes up every kid. But on the whole, the drawbacks outweigh the benefits.
@TheMissrachel63 I am no researcher of children, but I do have a degree in psychology and have worked with them in various capacities. What children need, from the point of view of most developmental psychologists and paedagogues, are indeed boundaries. I agree with you on this. Having to negotiate these boundaries themselves overtaxes young children. But what using any kind of violence against children teaches them is that violence is an acceptable way to express anger and dominance.
@TheMissrachel63 How do we know whether this study is internally and externally valid without the original source?This is a citation on a heavily biased website.Tried finding the original but couldn't.Where was it published?The overwhelming number of studies consistently shows negative effects of spanking.These are studies with better designs than retrospectively asking teenagers' opinions.I'm talking about prospective, longitudinal studies.
And for those who say kids are more aggressive since spanking has stopped - it clearly hasn't stopped. A third still report spanking their young child, and I bet it's more given that it's now socially unacceptable to admit it. Obviously, you also need to replace spanking with other effective discipline, and I think that's where many parents struggle.
Look up TIME magazine, May 3, 2010. "The Long-Term Effects of Spanking". It refers to a study in "Pediatrics" but doesn't give a proper reference.
Aaron is an amazing kid, so perceptive. I hope he won't have to continue to take on too much responsibility. Kobe can be so sweet when he's calm and I see a lot of potential there if they get his outbursts under control. It's not fair to blame it all on mum as a lot of the anger could result from the divorce and just knowing that there are different rules for dad and mum. If the parents continue working together and are firm, they can get this under control - as exhausting as it may be.
What happened to a good old fashion spanking? Spare the rod, spoil the child worked years ago and guess what...works today. If you raise your child right, you wont need to spank them after 9 years old.
@blondeisius That's the typical prejudice, which doesn't work in today's society. Studies consistently show that spanking has negative effects on children, not positive effects. It only makes them more aggressive.
@Chocolateluvr1987 Well, every family I know spanks their children when that strong discipline is required, and none of them have children even remotely close to this child. And they all have various family situations including this type. None of them are aggressive, in fact they are very sweet children.
@blondeisius Of course the children's aggression also depends on other factors, such as aggression displayed in the spanking by the parents, general hostility in the family, feeling rejected, other means of setting boundaries, reintegration after the punishment, positive reinforcement, and the children's own temperament. Studies still show that overall, kids who are spanked are more aggressive (especially to siblings), have lower self-esteem and are more easily frustrated at a task, giving up.
@blondeisius That's not the same as saying "every child who is spanked will react the same way and be messed up forever". But on the whole, it emerges as a counterproductive practice. If you spank your child, you teach your child that hitting is acceptable for whoever is in power as a means of obtaining control.From personal experience, I know that spanking when combined with verbal put-downs (e.g. "you're stupid") or generalised accusations ("you're a liar, this doesn't hurt") is hurtful.
I thought that Aaron Jr., is such a GREAT kid and he's a lovely big Brother too!!! Plus I'm sure that a lot of girls will be after him very soon!! ;o)
@RichKnight2010 The dad is expected to be reasonably involved. Did you not just watch this? Jo did tell the mum to give the boys more discipline,and she's doing a great job at it now.It' s just that the boys need to feel that dad supports this decision.They're boys; hey need their father.This guy's natural authority also makes me think it's way easier for him to be respected. It's nothing to do with incompetence. Aaron clearly turned out very well, it's just that Kobe had more of a temper.
I think that there's no such thing as a "bad" child. It's simply a challenged child who is angry and walks all over the one who needs to discipline. Children need boundaries, they need limits and if they don't get that they won't learn.
That kid is sick and needs professional help, cause wenhe gets older he's going to be besides a women beater also a murderer. He is not right in the head.
This show can only do so much. I'm sure Kobe still acts up. He needs help and the mom seems like she is too scary and doesn't want to discipline Kobe. But on another note the mom really needs to get with the 21st century. Her hair and clothes are so outdated. I'm sure she was very attractive in her younger days. That's probably another reason why they split.
@fresh77896 She doesn't need to get with anything other than what she feels comfortable with. Her looks and style are not what the situation is about. You're the second person on this channel I've had to set straight about that. It's not a show on fashion mistakes in the 21st century. No one turns on supernanny while saying to themselves, "Gee, let's see what idiot clothing and hairstyles the next screwed up mother will be wearing today." Get off looks and get with the 21st century on thinking.
I don't know what you thought but you sure didn't set anyone straight. I'm sure her outdated looks and style had just as much to do with the divorce as her weak parenting skills. I didn't say this was a fashion show but when it applies I state the obvious. Keep in mind this is my opinion and you do not have to like it. You could skip over it or thumbs down.
@fresh77896 That's ridiculous. She probably looks this way because she's busy cleaning up after her little destructive son all day long! Her looks have absolutely NO influence on her parenting skills. She also isn't a horrible parent and blaming this all on her is unfair. Jo is right, the dad wasn't involved enough and was probably non-verbally communicating his lack of respect for the boys' mother. It's easy to judge from his point of view, as he's the one being respected.
Some kids are so hard headed you could beat the crap out of them and nothing happens. Others you can give the stern look and they melt. Kobe seems to be that kind of child, taking away privileges and getting confronted by BOTH parents embarrassed him and got him thinking.
momkatmax 6 days ago
LOL looks like the Supernanny had alot of fun in the end
Blessings2UForever 1 week ago
I wonder why those parents got divorced in the first place. Hmm..seems like they are able to get along pretty well. It's too bad.
garciajennifer223 1 week ago
@ 1:43 Kobe, pick those up. The mom hated saying this and you can tell she had no backbone because she's saying it as she walks away. Words don't mean shit, it's how you say them, and the posturing that enforces discipline. I'd say it to his face, and stand over his ass until he picked up every last piece of trash.
tallen87 1 month ago
The boy clearly didn't need a smack. Not once was he smacked under supernannys rules and he turned out very well behaved. So yeah, kids DON'T need smacked. EVER
BabiBearJay 1 month ago
With me when i was misbehaving i got hit over the head with a wooden brush, it taught me to straighten up. I also believe that disapline is everything when raising children.
1Sakiya1 1 month ago
@1Sakiya1
I find that quite abusive. but each to their own. if you found that it made you a better person.
Rowan07001484 1 month ago
My parents say that if you get hit by someone, hit them back.. My friends told me that their parents said the same.. So if you spank a 4 yr old wouldn't it get confused and spank parents back??
TechGuy781 1 month ago
People now a days are such pussey's -____- Im asian, this means i break ONE SIMPLE FUCKING THING im dead, and people now are wusses for relying on this woman to help take care of their kids. Its ok to beat your kid, if its for discipline. >.>
Theonlyhuyable 1 month ago
Christ give the kid meds
JKatzman2000 2 months ago
ones againg the supernanny wins
domoland18 2 months ago
Divorced parents working together, I like that!
Papillon1804 2 months ago
Dad set rules and stuck to them but mom did not which confused the child and left him feeling in charge which he was not psychologically mature enough for so that was cause of the behaviour. Dad set rules and stuck to them, child knew dad ment what he said, so felt secure with dad.
Frank33026 2 months ago
I was spanked once as a child. I was spanked once because I was being pissy and ridiculous. I was spanked once and once only, because I learnt straight away that if I behaved badly, I would get a slap across the arse. So I behaved myself. It didn't even hurt in the slightest, but it worked. Spanking is only a bad answer if you are actually trying to hurt your child.
sparrowluvver92 3 months ago
Kobe isn't even crying, he's just screaming. He needs an ass whoopin.
Synh6416 3 months ago 4
i believe some children do need to be spanked, and that includes this child. the fact that he is willing to raise his hand and smack his mother is very disrespectful. and i understand that u dont want to ur children to fear u. but u shouldnt have to b scared of ur children either.
Sucram489 4 months ago
Sorry but have4 to say this but for those of you who would hit their children with a belt disgusts me. Why would you hurt your child? If someone hit my child with a belt I would phone social services.
Adelaide267 5 months ago
Well its nice to see things working out.
SeaCoastGirl1987 5 months ago 2
3 words
Spank his bottom.
RTA07 5 months ago
@TheTenjin666 she's from england???
paperfantasy 6 months ago
Does Aaron have a twitching problem?
SASpursGRL21 6 months ago
i need a couple of nanny 911 dames to wipe the crap from my crack & while ur at it get me a cold beer ; D
YoWaSuUuP 6 months ago
Nice resolution. Good on the parents. x
RoonJazz 6 months ago
aaron is the only respectable kid ive seen on this shoe
eldaly1 6 months ago
I would rather whip him.
MrBuckmaster69able 6 months ago
spanking is not the anwser manny kids that get spanked at home are more agrasive outside/on school..
we say to our kids don't hit other and than grownhups do it thereself what kind of massege is that?
nirvanija 6 months ago
when kobes not being annoying, hes actually kinda cute :)
TheCarolyn419 7 months ago 2
the parting part brings tears to my eyes... super nanny is doing a great job.. thumbs up :)
nohahaggag 7 months ago
This child is living proof that there is no such thing as Attention Deficit Disorder. If the dad wasn't there then any shrink would say ADD for sure. But with the dad he is an angel so he can't be "ADD". It just goes to show that with proper diet and discipline and following through with consequences we don't need these drugs the so called experts try to push on our kids.
trevormsutherland 7 months ago 2
@Abercrombiestar15
"I cant beat the shit out of Kobe's ass"
I can already tell your an insignificant 11 year old that should not be commenting on the show, but should IN the show, itself for your stupidity and anger issues.
HipsterKatt 8 months ago
@Abercrombiestar15
You are, in every way, pathetic.
You are just as non-assertive as the mother was in the beginning if you actually think that if you were in the mothers situation it would be right to not even attempt to handle it and send your 5 year old straight to prison. You are acting just as immature as him, grow up and realize what you are saying.
HipsterKatt 8 months ago
Im tired of seeing these comments about how he needs a good spanking, a whip with a belt, etc. How do you assume that is going to help. He is already abusive enough.
& all these "When I was a kid.." No one cares, this isn't you, this isn't your family, this isn't set back to the date of when you were that age.
HipsterKatt 8 months ago
kobe is bad he need a good spankin with a belt a shoe something maybe his dads hands lrther belt would help
Missallthis 8 months ago
@queta89 i agree 100% i was spanked as a child and when i got spanked, i would think before i act. It helps u realize that what ur doing is wrong and dont do it or else u will be hit again!
missamerica2020 8 months ago
I think Koby has anger issues and may have to see a professional to help him with that! But having a stable family unit seems to have helped a great deal! Anger issues doesn't make him a bad child at all, it just makes him hard to deal with, but once he learns to control his anger and channel it in a positive way then things will be 100% better!
ChewyPeace 8 months ago
The kid behaves that way because:
1. He's angry that his parents are suddenly not together.
2. He can't throw tantrums (as all little boys do) when his father's around. because the father is a macho-shithead who acts like a drill sargeant.
3. So he unleashes the aggression with his mom.
When Kobe gets to reach puberty, however, he'll do the same with his father.
MondoBeno 9 months ago
the last part viky said is tru
pavelfilipski 9 months ago
omg his mother has ruined this boy, its never goin to change. he is a ticking time bomb
hyper10shun 9 months ago
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never never spanking your kids no call names dont ponish just listen and listen to them
Ipanima88 10 months ago
@Ipanima88 LOL
Jonaeproductionx3 10 months ago
LOL i bet he's still acting up there just showing the good footage of it :P
Jonaeproductionx3 10 months ago
@TheMissrachel63 Lady, you obviously haven't read soap ingredients. Now this is the last time I speak to you, I do not respect ANYONE who condones putting soap in a defenseless child's mouth.
I DARE you try that crap with someone who can fight back. Try it, just once, lady, once!!!
Ugh, this is the last post, I will delete EVERY post you send me, no wait, I'll just block you.
Can't argue with the hopelessly indoctrinated.
BastEternal 10 months ago
@TheMissrachel63 Again, don't you wag your arrogant finger at me and accuse me of not understanding.
I understand that you fail as a parent, and the option you choose to discipline a child that doesn't fit your mold is to spank them into submission.
"Breaking a child's will?" Typical Pearl camp fundy dominionist garbage. Do I REALLY need to read EVERYTHING you said? You're a disturbing individual, it's pointless to discuss this with people like you. You're insane.
BastEternal 10 months ago
@TheMissrachel63 Oh, so spanking the kid will stop them from sneaking off? Whatever, lady. My kid went out ONCE to the park without permission, ONCE, never again. I did NOT resort to spanking. Of all the insane...ugh, I can't even stomach talking to shells of people like you, you have no heart, no nothing, you're dark, black, dead inside.
I have ZERO tolerance for people like you and ZERO respect. Again, don't ask for it.
BastEternal 10 months ago
@TheMissrachel63 Don't you tell me I "clearly have no idea" about anything.
Hitting is hitting, whether it's a swat on the butt or a slap in the face. There is but only ONE "positive" effect of spanking, and that is the effect of LESS WORK for the parent.
Parenting is not easy. It is easy to spank a child into submission, the real trick is to get them to respect you without breaking their will, or spanking them. Can you do it? Can those who think like you do it?
BastEternal 10 months ago
@TheMissrachel63 Spanking is not an opinion. Spanking is a disturbing trend among the disturbed and it needs to be illegal and rated as ASSAULT, and I will NEVER respect anyone who resorts to using spanking as a disciplinary tool. So you grow up. When you have an actual opinion that I can respect, then I will, but as far as spanking goes, never.
You will NEVER get my respect, and those who think like you, so don't ever ask for it.
BastEternal 10 months ago
@BastEternal ...Ok you dont agree with spanking not a big deal. But Spanking really does get your kids in line i mean i dont like spanking i just smack my kids butt and say ''NO'' and so when they try to do that, they well remeber ''I shouldent do that because there's gunna be bad things happening'' Its not really fear its just a head up on whats gunna happen if you do that again :D
Jonaeproductionx3 10 months ago 2
@BastEternal soooo... are you saying the asian culture of disciplining kids is disturbed?
sugarpluminlove 10 months ago
This comment has received too many negative votes show
@sugarpluminlove
Absolutely. ALL spanking is disturbing. Corporal punishment used on babies and children, regardless of country of origin. Parenting is such an incredible opportunity to TEACH children how to behave in the world. Why hit? Why smack? Why pop? They're just children for goodness sake. They don't know anything. TEACH with words and by example.
Why have kids if you're going to hit them? If you're going to hit, hit someone who is going to hit back. Not defenseless children.
BastEternal 10 months ago
@TheMissrachel63 That's complete bull. My son respects me, and I did it without spanking. I taught him to use his words, and it has worked wonders. Kids do NOT need physical punishment, all they need is a LOT of patience. If you need to MAKE (aka force) your kid to "respect" you, it's not real respect. It's 100% fear. Period.
I swear the lot of you who are pro "breaking the will" of a child subscribe to dominionism and Michael Pearl child abuse tactics. Sick bastards!
BastEternal 10 months ago
@TheMissrachel63 I see that, again, there is something wrong with you. How about not allowing the kid to go near the tracks in the first place? How about not letting the kid wander off? It's YOUR JOB as a parent to keep the kid safe. What about a kid who jumps into a pool and drowns because safety measures weren't put in place? What are you gonna say "gee, that kid should have been spanked, he would have been alive in the first place if his parents had just laid a belt on 'im."?
BastEternal 10 months ago
@TheMissrachel63 Wow, you advocate putting poisons in a child's mouth because they used a curse word?
There's something seriously wrong with you. I have a 15 yr old child that I've NEVER had to resort to beating or putting soap in his mouth to get him to behave.
BastEternal 10 months ago
@TheMissrachel63 Attacking you?? lol for someone who thinks hitting little kids with weapons is a good thing you sure come off sounding like a little pussy. Watch supernanny the davis family. maybe you will learn something. I'm done with you and your redneck hillbilly child beating discussions. Do not respond to me I won't read it. Watch the davis family please for the sake of your kids or future kids, or anyone else you may influence. I have to go vomit now you have made me sick.
PunkRockPat 11 months ago
@TheMissrachel63 -- I thought I might be able to use logic and common sense with you but obviously not because you are very old fashioned and set in your ways. I mean a Belt??? are you serious??? WOW.
This is the last thing i'm going to say-- The idea behind parenting is to teach your children right from wrong and have them do the right thing because they want to, not because they are scared of there parents!!
PunkRockPat 11 months ago
@PunkRockPat I bet you are a christian also right?? It's the same idea- do the right thing or God will burn you!
anyway like I have said people like you are far too stubburn to ever consider using parenting methods that require effort or energy. Do you even have kids? Do you seriously hit them with a belt and also give time outs??? Talk about mixed signals. Hopefully, you don't actually have children and never will. ..............................................................In my opinion.lol
PunkRockPat 11 months ago
@PunkRockPat Just fyi, there are people out here who have read this debate, and I for one am rooting for you all the way!
Spanking is a piss poor disciplinary option, it doesn't even teach lessons, it teaches fear. Spanking is what you do when you as a parent fail at everything else, reasoning and patience, for example.
Spanking is not needed to raise a well-adjusted, well-behaved child.
BastEternal 10 months ago
@TheMissrachel63 The parents should be using (and therefore teaching) Patience and consistency in there decipline. The time out chair system does work, so does the old stand in the corner for ten minutes system. But this only works if the parents have the fortitude to stick to it unstead of buckling under the pressure. It takes a ton of patience and character to do this effectivly but hey I agree it's a lot easier to just hit them, but logic tells me its wrong. btw I have 3 kids, 14,10 and 7
PunkRockPat 11 months ago
@TheMissrachel63 Hands to strike a child is a clear sign of someone who doesn't have control of the situation. It's just like yelling, it shows weakness and anger. Obviously it's o.k to be angry but expressing the anger in the form of yelling or hitting is clearly not healthy behavior and thats not a matter of opinion at all. These parents fail because they do not enforce the punishment, they just repeat themselves saying no,no,no..don't do that, stop it, no, no, no. Do you see the problem?
PunkRockPat 11 months ago
@TheMissrachel63 Well Obviously it's my opinion because I'm the one typing it so that is just pointless to mention. The only reason I would want other people to see the light is because of the children, you're obviously a loss cause at this point. Of course you were spanked, so was I, most people were, especially over the age of 30, But that is not a good argument for repeating the abuse. You do seem like a smart enough person so I do not understand how you can't see that using your...
PunkRockPat 11 months ago
@TheMissrachel63 insted of using the old "well everybody does it" excuse. HITTING IS WRONG. PERIOD, END OF STORY.
PunkRockPat 11 months ago
@TheMissrachel63 You are 100% completly wrong and so is everyone who agreed with you. Hitting your children is never the right solution. Hitting anybody is never the right solution. When you choose to hit, You are sending a very clear message that you are Weak, out of control and violent-which is the exact oppisite of what a good role model should be. I mean do you even have a comprehension of what a role model is???? It's time people started looking at these issues with logic instead of con't
PunkRockPat 11 months ago
The mother is obviously still in love with the dad.
The youngest kid they'll be lucky if he doesn't grow up to wind up behind bars. This is why you can't outlaw spanking. Not all kids need it, but some might (and NEVER used in anger).
Politcalamity 11 months ago
one day kobe will learn
thekingofpop246 11 months ago
If i was kobes mom i would have back handed him one right acros is lil bitchin mouth
JDgirlproductions 11 months ago
OH MY GOD :O
PinkMelodyRose 11 months ago
Oh my god. This child's behaviour makes me disgusted. How the hell do you let it escalate to this extent? She let him get away with things far too long.
If I did that growing up, I don't think I'd be alive today. I was always concerned with my actions because of the consequences. I was afraid of what my parents would do. Not that it's a good thing to instill fear in your child, but they have to think of the aftermath of their actions. They can NEVER get away with ANYTHING.
BreathlessEndeavours 11 months ago 55
I grew up getting spanked & think that's what this kid really needed. It took way too long for him to straighten up with all the time outs and talks. He needed one or two spankings when he was acting up and he would've been better. Discipline starts early on not when things start getting bad. While some kids don't require a spanking, others clearly need it and their parents are walking around trying to be their best friend.
queta89 11 months ago 83
@queta89 What is "too long"?? So is that what the problem is, according to you? That being a parent means you must do things as quickly as possible?
Raising a child and teaching them takes TIME!!! Spanking is the "fast track" to violence! So WHAT if it takes "too long" to teach a child a real lesson that can be utilized in the future? Guess what? This kid will be able to handle many more situations by breathing through it, using self-relaxation techniques, instead of LASHING out and HITTING.
BastEternal 10 months ago
@BastEternal Spanking is not the fast track to violence, I'm not violent and I was spanked as a child. A simple swat on the butt with your hand when a child does something wrong isn't going to lead to any violence. But like I said, not every child needs to be spanked; however there are those that do. I respected my parents as a kid because of the way I was raised. Self-relaxation techniques don't work on every kid. Spare the rod & spoil the child. You can teach ur kid while spanking them.
queta89 10 months ago 23
@queta89
I agree. Some kids respond to being smacked. Some don't. and also, it depends on what reasons they were smacked for. and the level of anger.
controlled physical discipline is ok. as long as you explain why they are being punished. and don't show extreme anger while smacking a child.
when I was smacked it was always out of anger. it didn't really help me to become a better person. and I was smacked like once or twice a year. not that much. it was just a loss of control.
Rowan07001484 1 month ago
@Rowan07001484 I come from a family that disciplines children that way. I don't think it does much except for give the children fear. But not all children respond to this type of discipline. I personally think that it sometimes can actually fuel the bad behavior. I don't necessarily agree with it because i feel that it is not good for children to have fear of items such as belts, or their own parents (being physically hurt by their parents that is). But that's just me, and i'm 12
shadowfangirl4life 1 month ago
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@queta89 By spanking him the parents are just going to be sending mixed signals. That's not what they need to do when they are trying to tell him that hitting is wrong. If they start spanking him, he will just see that as it's okay to hit. But they do need to enforce discipline like taking away privileges and making him take responsibility for his actions.
kelslue 10 months ago
@queta89 Its not good to spank i used to get spanked but now i have grown a tollerance to it
swimmergurrl1 10 months ago
@swimmergurrl1 Well that's just you. I had spankings as a kid & I never got used to it. It taught me to respect my mother & I thought about the consequences before I did anything. For me it worked, for others it didn't. It just depends on the child. Because I have a niece and spankings are the only thing to work on her. Everyone has their opinions about spankings & for some parents it's not necessary, but there are those kids who really need it.
queta89 10 months ago 7
@queta89 Agreed i rememeber my little brother tried to play that little shit with my mom and we where trying to take a picture at walmart ....My mom took his little ass in the bathroom and when they came out he was in his chair sitting still as a rock, what people dont know its not making kids afraid of you it's just letting them know. Uh oh remeber what happen last time.
Jonaeproductionx3 10 months ago
@Jonaeproductionx3 Yea I agree, it's not making them afraid of you it's teaching them to respect you & they learn not to test you. I knew this kid who got a whipping then threatened to call CPS on his mother(he was 9), how the hell does a child know about CPS? Some parents(not all) are afraid of that & will let their kids' behavior escalate. When I was little, if I acted up in a store I would be taken to the bathroom for a spanking & I was no longer misbehaving. But to each their own.
queta89 10 months ago 9
@queta89
I didn't respond to smacking very well.
I was hardly ever smacked, but I was once every now and then. and it didn't work. It does work for some young kids I think. not older ones. it just depends on what kind of behaviour you are trying to correct.
I was smacked by my dad for going to the supermarket alone, while on holiday. without telling anyone. I was about 10. He went mad. cornered me in my room, and began hitting me
Rowan07001484 1 month ago
@queta89
I fought with him, and hid under the bed.
physical punishment never worked with me. it just made me feel like if I had been bad. I couldn't be honest with my parents about it. so if I had done something wrong outside the home. I wouldn't come clean. My mum was fine. But my dad. had an angry streak. I still don't respect him. I don't hate him. But I don't really like him at all.
Rowan07001484 1 month ago
@queta89 Kids know about CPS cause that's what they're teaching them in school.
tallen87 1 month ago
@queta89 I know what you mean, I remember my parents spanked me to keep me in line, and I turned out great
MrCherryCola 9 months ago
@MrCherryCola Spanking is generally frowned upon in today's society though. When I was screaming and acting up as a child, my parents resorted to spanking and I screamed even more, which is why I refuse to use it on my future children.
RoseTylerxx 8 months ago
@queta89 ur a major loser
catichew 6 months ago
@queta89 No kids need spanking you psycho.
Holstboy 6 months ago
@queta89 spanking is not the miracle solution everyone thinks it is, all you would do by that is teaching the child to be afraid of you, be afraid of pain and in addition to that you would be feeding into his already deep and powerful anger. teaching the child to control that anger is much better. violence only instigates more violence. my father spanked us alot when we where bad, and the only thing we learned was to fear.
panchat5001 5 months ago
2. If you rule through fear, what happens when the fear disappears? When it no longer hurts to be spanked, or they are big enough to smack you back? Then what is their incentive to listen and show the behaviours you want??? If you haven’t taught them values, as well as to make smart and good behavioural choices through teaching them about consequences and the importance of kindness towards others, but have chosen to keep bad behaviour down through fear, then the good behaviour has no longevity.
sarah4hp 4 months ago
@queta89 I'm sorry, but I think that is the most illogical argument ever, that has not been thought through properly.
1. Kids look to you for guidance on how you relate to, and communicate with, others. You can't yell at them not to yell, or hit them to show them that hitting is wrong, because by you doing it you are saying that it is acceptable. You’re showing them that anger is dealt with through screaming and/or violence, and that it is okay to be physically or verbally abusive.
tbc.
sarah4hp 4 months ago
@queta89 just think, coby will have to grow up knowing everyone saw what a little asshole he was
longfootbuddy 3 months ago in playlist More videos from NoRacism17
@queta89 you clearly don't know the difference between fear and respect
DADpunkskater 1 month ago
@TheMissrachel63 At the end of the day, I'll always believe what is suggested by the most credible evidence to me (only from primary sources) and what I have learned in my training at the psychiatric hospital and at university. Everyone has different sources of their knowledge. However, I also acknowledge my own background, childhood experiences and individual values as a factor. To pretend otherwise is to disregard what makes us human. Anyway, that's it for me. :)
Chocolateluvr1987 1 year ago
@TheMissrachel63 I guess another interesting finding from some studies was that the effects of spanking depended on the child's view of the acceptability of it as a punishment (Gunnoe).That really surprised me.She hypothesised that this was why older children responded less well to it.Also puts the studies from the 70s into perspective.So yes,I have learned new things from this discussion. :)
Chocolateluvr1987 1 year ago
@TheMissrachel63 Didn't mean you accused me of anything.I put "attacking" into quotation marks because it seemed like too strong a word. :)Okay,I understand that not everyone may have access to these studies.It's just that when you see the abstracts(I can't always access full text either!) you can already tell the results stated something different than it says in the news report.I guess as a psychological researcher,I'm naturally biased against media reports because they distort/omit so often.
Chocolateluvr1987 1 year ago
@TheMissrachel63 I'm not "attacking" the part of your POV that you base on your experience, because that is your experience.But the part based on scientific studies I have to disagree with, because it is possible to show a tendency one way or the other, and the actual PRIMARY SOURCES and metananalyses show clear evidence against spanking.So do psych. theories and clinical practice.I've seen time-outs in a modified form work for teens with mental health problems who smashed windows with branches.
Chocolateluvr1987 1 year ago
@TheMissrachel63 Sorry, I really don't mean to be harsh or anything, it's just very frustrating for a reseearcher when scientific findings are misrepresented in the popular media. I have no doubt at all that the American popular media agree with your point of view, and I acknowledge that there are some studies that, under some circumstances, do not show harmful effects. There are also some studies that fail to support the effectiveness of aspirin for headaches.
Chocolateluvr1987 1 year ago
@TheMissrachel63 My point is that your references are opinions not scientific studies, or they are secondary citations of scientific studies. The actual studies themselves when you look them up don't say what these articles claim. You also have to consider methodological factors such as the analyses used. It's a shame my link to a peer-reviewed journal didn't work, because it said that Gunnoes herself stated she would NEVER spank her children, given the harmful effects her studies showed.
Chocolateluvr1987 1 year ago
@TheMissrachel63 But the point is that your references are opinions not scientific studies, or they are secondary citations of scientific studies. The actual studies themselves when you look them up in the journals don't say what you say they are saying. It's a shame my link to a peer-reviewed journal didn't work, because it said that Gunnoes herself stated she would NEVER spank her children, given the harmful effects her studies showed.
Chocolateluvr1987 1 year ago
@TheMissrachel63 And before I forget, I'm not against immediate consequences at all.Children should learn that actions have consequences,and you can't always argue about it again if the child isn't ready to understand the reasoning behind it. So I actually think that things like time-outs are a good solution because they give the child time to reflect. It's not about dominance; it's about taking the child out of the situation, taking privileges away and making it stop and settle down.
Chocolateluvr1987 1 year ago
@TheMissrachel63 And whether we agree or not (my guess is we never will, but that's okay as I did actually learn something through looking up the evidence :) ), please read this article: h ttp:/ / ww w. springerlink. com / content/3h66 pch1lhl10dec / It is a very comprehensive summary of older evidence also mentioning Gunnoe. If the link doesn't work, the reference is Straus (2001): "New Evidence for the Benefits of Never Spanking". Should be available for free on Springer Link.
Chocolateluvr1987 1 year ago
@TheMissrachel63 So to summarise, I can accept differences in opinion, but I disagree factually that the majority of research on spanking supports benefits over risks. In a very rough PsycINFO search alone, there were about two studies showing benefits, several showing harm, and many showing no effect at all.
I also looked up Gunnoe, and her results are more mixed, depending on ethnicity and age:
h ttp :// archpedi. ama- assn. org /cgi /content /abstract/ 151/ 8/768
Chocolateluvr1987 1 year ago
@TheMissrachel63 I just think we should be careful not to take it for granted that it's either "the parents' rights and business" or "the government's rights and business". These are cultural and socially determined norms which vary over time and place. Where I live at the moment, it is not the right of the parents to spank their child, and I personally disagree with the assumption that children are somehow their parents' property. But I can see your point of view as well.
Chocolateluvr1987 1 year ago
@TheMissrachel63 I admit that it's positive that they controlled for other variables, which may in part explain the non-significant results as it's hard to find anything when you partial out other variables, from a statistical point of view. I can fully respect your opinion that it should be the parents' right to make this decision, while it's my opinion that the burden of proof for benefits should lie with the side proposing the violence. This is based on cultural and individual values.
Chocolateluvr1987 1 year ago
@TheMissrachel63 It is hardly surprising that no significant difference was found between the "yellow" and the "green" category, because the categories were by definition not very different from one another. So not finding a difference between the groups that could overcome the type I error threshold of p<0.05 does NOT mean the same as saying "spanking isn't harmful". Drawing this conclusion from one study done in the 60s/70s with non-significant result is a bit far-fetched.
Chocolateluvr1987 1 year ago
@TheMissrachel63 Their definition of "moderate" spanking was actually very little spanking of no intensity, whatever that is supposed to mean. That is not "moderate" to me. The "yellow" category was the second lowest, and all it said was that there was no significant difference between the second lowest or the lowest category of spanking - neither good nor bad. It doesn't report what the difference for the higher categories was.
Chocolateluvr1987 1 year ago
@TheMissrachel63 A large body of study neither show benefits nor harm to children from spanking. And for me, as long as the benefits aren't established, it just isn't a practice that should be supported. You wouldn't be able to smack a random adult in the street, so why should you have the right to spank a child? Again, the burden of proof should be with the people who want to allow this form of violence (whether you consider it "abuse" or not).
Chocolateluvr1987 1 year ago
@TheMissrachel63 I'm sorry, but if the parents can't deal with their built up aggression they just need to find a way to cope. This shouldn't be about the parents' needs, but the kids' needs. The burden of supporting that spanking is successful is on the proponents of spanking. So far, the research doesn't seem to indicate this. There is some question about whether it is harmful, as you're right in saying that not all studies indicate that it is. However, some do and this should be enough.
Chocolateluvr1987 1 year ago
@TheMissrachel63 I'm not saying the original study documents are messed up -can't make that judgement without reading them- but that secondary sources aren't exactly reliable in their reporting of either side of the issue. The original study can obviously only be read through purchase of the PDF or through access via a database (e.g. Web of Science, PsycINFO, etc.), unless it's freely available on Google Scholar or a government publication. I will look up Marjorie Gunnoe - never heard of her.
Chocolateluvr1987 1 year ago
@TheMissrachel63 When I looked up the original abstract again, I also couldn't find the statement that "children who were never spanked tended to have behavioural problems". Did you see this in the original study? Sorry, I just really do not trust media reports of scientific evidence. They tend to be hugely flawed.
Here's an APA clarification of the study:
w ww. apa .org / monitor /dec01 /spanking. aspx (without spaces)
Chocolateluvr1987 1 year ago
@TheMissrachel63 The Baumrind study was just one very well-publicised study, mostly because the results were misrepresented. What she actually found was no significant difference between children who were never spanked and children who were spanked "occasionally with little or no intensitiy". That's basically saying she didn't find a difference between never hitting a kid and rarely hitting a kid with very little intensity, and is hardly supportive of spanking.
Chocolateluvr1987 1 year ago
@TheMissrachel63 Also, if you suggest that abuse skyrockets where spanking is banned, isn't that basically saying that spanking is a milder form of child abuse, or some sort of "outlet" that parents need? In this case, we are again returning to the emotional needs of the parent, rather than the needs of the child, and spanking as a way to express anger rather than to provide appropriate boundaries for a child.
But sure, let's agree to disagree.
Chocolateluvr1987 1 year ago
@TheMissrachel63 Baumrind is certainly an important researcher, but her study is hardly THE most extensive longitudinal study done. Actually, Farrington is considered to be the most important longitudinal researcher of child and adolescent development.
Naturally, in areas where spanking is banned, child abuse skyrockets by definition because spanking is considered child abuse there. It's about how it's counted.
Chocolateluvr1987 1 year ago
@TheMissrachel63 But psychology can never "prove" anything, only support or fail to support hypotheses, so that's not the basis for arguing that it's "not our business". It IS our business, especially if we are involved in working with children, and we have to think about where our arguments come from. Maybe spanking is to teach, but we have to wonder WHAT it teaches the child. I don't doubt that some kids who are spanked immediately respond to it, but what are the long-term consequences?
Chocolateluvr1987 1 year ago
@TheMissrachel63 Finally (I promise it's my last citation), a review on research and the use of spanking in the U.S. can be found by Knox (2010) in the Journal of Paediatric Health Care, 24 (2), p. 103-107. Knox described that the majority of studies do show negative outcomes of spanking, and that spanking is associated with a greater risk of child abuse. The reason why it remains popular is 1) intergenerational transfer of violence and 2) the fact that it often produces immediate compliance.
Chocolateluvr1987 1 year ago
@TheMissrachel63 You might of course ask how we know it's spanking that makes the children more aggressive, rather than the children's aggressive behaviour that elicits more spanking. That's a valid criticism for some of the retrospective studies I have cited. But at least Berlin et al.'s (2009) study cited before checks for child temperament as an influential factor. They found that child temperament at age 2 was not a predictor of subsequent spanking.
Chocolateluvr1987 1 year ago
@TheMissrachel63 Berlin et al. (2009). Child Development, 80 (9). p. 1403-1420: Spanking at age 1 (but not verbal punishment) was associated with more aggressive behaviour problems at age 2 and a lower Bayley mental development score at age 3. Christie-Mizell et al. (2008). Family Relations, 57 (3), p. 335-350: Spanking was cross-sectionally associated with more depressive symptoms, but this effect was not maintained over time.
Chocolateluvr1987 1 year ago
@TheMissrachel63 Just as an example for the "teaching aggressive behaviour" viewpoint: Simons and Wurtele (2010). Child Abuse & Neglect. Vol. 34 (9), p. 639-646: Frequent spanking was the strongest predictor of children's (aged 3-7) endorsement of aggressive problem-solving and use of hitting to solve conflicts with peers. Parents who were spanked themselves were more likely to use spanking with their kids --> intergenerational transfer of violence.
Chocolateluvr1987 1 year ago
@TheMissrachel63 I do appreciate you citing the news reports of the studies, because they are interesting. I just found another one which indicates that aggressive behaviour at a young age is associated strongly with child temperament, irrespective of spanking/not spanking. This association was NOT moderated by parental warmth. Stacks et al. (2009), Infant and Child Development, Vol. 18 (2), p. 178-194.
Chocolateluvr1987 1 year ago
@TheMissrachel63 I have looked it up.I don't doubt that there are studies that support your viewpoint, too, but the overwhelming majority of studies if you look on PsycINFO or Web of Science clearly indicate that spanking is harmful and that it does teach children that spanking is a way to express anger (rather than a message indicating that their behaviour was wrong). Now I was spanked as a child and I'm not saying it messes up every kid. But on the whole, the drawbacks outweigh the benefits.
Chocolateluvr1987 1 year ago
@TheMissrachel63 I am no researcher of children, but I do have a degree in psychology and have worked with them in various capacities. What children need, from the point of view of most developmental psychologists and paedagogues, are indeed boundaries. I agree with you on this. Having to negotiate these boundaries themselves overtaxes young children. But what using any kind of violence against children teaches them is that violence is an acceptable way to express anger and dominance.
Chocolateluvr1987 1 year ago
@TheMissrachel63 How do we know whether this study is internally and externally valid without the original source?This is a citation on a heavily biased website.Tried finding the original but couldn't.Where was it published?The overwhelming number of studies consistently shows negative effects of spanking.These are studies with better designs than retrospectively asking teenagers' opinions.I'm talking about prospective, longitudinal studies.
Chocolateluvr1987 1 year ago
Aaron is a good kid. :o)
Reeny125 1 year ago
lol i bet they tell the kids to say that stuff when theyre on the individual scene thing
XiaoYun101495 1 year ago
Basically it comes down to total lack of respect. They laugh at her, and they probably learned that from the father.
AirlockMinibus 1 year ago 2
And for those who say kids are more aggressive since spanking has stopped - it clearly hasn't stopped. A third still report spanking their young child, and I bet it's more given that it's now socially unacceptable to admit it. Obviously, you also need to replace spanking with other effective discipline, and I think that's where many parents struggle.
Look up TIME magazine, May 3, 2010. "The Long-Term Effects of Spanking". It refers to a study in "Pediatrics" but doesn't give a proper reference.
Chocolateluvr1987 1 year ago
Aaron is an amazing kid, so perceptive. I hope he won't have to continue to take on too much responsibility. Kobe can be so sweet when he's calm and I see a lot of potential there if they get his outbursts under control. It's not fair to blame it all on mum as a lot of the anger could result from the divorce and just knowing that there are different rules for dad and mum. If the parents continue working together and are firm, they can get this under control - as exhausting as it may be.
Chocolateluvr1987 1 year ago
@911isfunnyashellLMAO In case you didn't notice from the heavy accent, Jo is British. In Britain they say "Mum." Same in Canada.
emmadilemmasings 1 year ago
The little one is only doing this becuase he doesn't know how to handle the divorce! the 12 year old is mature enough to accept it.
MrKraftwerk1 1 year ago
Aaron jr is sooo hot!!!
jinofino2007 1 year ago
@jinofino2007 what the hell?? hell no... by the time that kid id 13, he will be a gangster and will probably be a garbage man when he grows up.
MrKraftwerk1 1 year ago
This comment has received too many negative votes show
aarons gay
eckrosh6 1 year ago
Its good that Koby is becoming more calm
if they keep up the work to keep him calm he'll grow up and be a sweet child
GoldenToraToraChan 1 year ago 2
@911isfunnyashellLMAO its mom where you live
Its mum in other places
GoldenToraToraChan 1 year ago
god fillany to kid is clam
AlexisMRaps1 1 year ago
What happened to a good old fashion spanking? Spare the rod, spoil the child worked years ago and guess what...works today. If you raise your child right, you wont need to spank them after 9 years old.
blondeisius 1 year ago
@blondeisius That's the typical prejudice, which doesn't work in today's society. Studies consistently show that spanking has negative effects on children, not positive effects. It only makes them more aggressive.
Chocolateluvr1987 1 year ago
@Chocolateluvr1987 Well, every family I know spanks their children when that strong discipline is required, and none of them have children even remotely close to this child. And they all have various family situations including this type. None of them are aggressive, in fact they are very sweet children.
blondeisius 1 year ago
@blondeisius Of course the children's aggression also depends on other factors, such as aggression displayed in the spanking by the parents, general hostility in the family, feeling rejected, other means of setting boundaries, reintegration after the punishment, positive reinforcement, and the children's own temperament. Studies still show that overall, kids who are spanked are more aggressive (especially to siblings), have lower self-esteem and are more easily frustrated at a task, giving up.
Chocolateluvr1987 1 year ago
@blondeisius That's not the same as saying "every child who is spanked will react the same way and be messed up forever". But on the whole, it emerges as a counterproductive practice. If you spank your child, you teach your child that hitting is acceptable for whoever is in power as a means of obtaining control.From personal experience, I know that spanking when combined with verbal put-downs (e.g. "you're stupid") or generalised accusations ("you're a liar, this doesn't hurt") is hurtful.
Chocolateluvr1987 1 year ago
Vicki sucks as a mum.
krakrakrala 1 year ago
I think Aaron and Kobe's parents will get back together again because of their better relation ship.
Dale3606525 1 year ago
I 'd like an expert to work with rebel teens .. I bet it wouldn't be that simple ..
NadiaFranke 1 year ago
I thought that Aaron Jr., is such a GREAT kid and he's a lovely big Brother too!!! Plus I'm sure that a lot of girls will be after him very soon!! ;o)
Thank's for the Uploads! I have subbed!!! :o)
Nneka1963 1 year ago 3
Kobe is such a cute kid
it's a shame he is so destructive
The1FreeM4n 1 year ago 14
I wonder how this family has been doing since?
MondoBeno 1 year ago
who is confused and angry?
benzell95 1 year ago
i grew up in almost the exact same situation as aaron did & all i have 2 say now is stay strong young brother, R.E.S.P.E.C.T.
oeufgwoieu 1 year ago
I think he needs exorcism
555yrty 1 year ago
Kobe is really cute, he just has a few issues to work out
MooCow354 1 year ago
@MooCow354 few issues? few you got to be kidding.
ravi930 1 year ago
So basically, the dad is expected to carry the discipline for both households because the mother is incompetent.
RichKnight2010 1 year ago
@RichKnight2010 The dad is expected to be reasonably involved. Did you not just watch this? Jo did tell the mum to give the boys more discipline,and she's doing a great job at it now.It' s just that the boys need to feel that dad supports this decision.They're boys; hey need their father.This guy's natural authority also makes me think it's way easier for him to be respected. It's nothing to do with incompetence. Aaron clearly turned out very well, it's just that Kobe had more of a temper.
Chocolateluvr1987 1 year ago
I hope the little sees how evil he was to his mama when he gets older
blububbles1001 1 year ago
I think that there's no such thing as a "bad" child. It's simply a challenged child who is angry and walks all over the one who needs to discipline. Children need boundaries, they need limits and if they don't get that they won't learn.
Shee1988 1 year ago 2
That kid is sick and needs professional help, cause wenhe gets older he's going to be besides a women beater also a murderer. He is not right in the head.
kallahari 1 year ago
This show can only do so much. I'm sure Kobe still acts up. He needs help and the mom seems like she is too scary and doesn't want to discipline Kobe. But on another note the mom really needs to get with the 21st century. Her hair and clothes are so outdated. I'm sure she was very attractive in her younger days. That's probably another reason why they split.
fresh77896 1 year ago
@fresh77896 they should send him to a speciallist.
benzell95 1 year ago
@fresh77896 Could be, but i think she caries herself well.She looks good and she is a sweet woman
kallahari 1 year ago
@fresh77896 She doesn't need to get with anything other than what she feels comfortable with. Her looks and style are not what the situation is about. You're the second person on this channel I've had to set straight about that. It's not a show on fashion mistakes in the 21st century. No one turns on supernanny while saying to themselves, "Gee, let's see what idiot clothing and hairstyles the next screwed up mother will be wearing today." Get off looks and get with the 21st century on thinking.
Terrigm45 1 year ago
Comment removed
fresh77896 1 year ago
@Terrigm45
I don't know what you thought but you sure didn't set anyone straight. I'm sure her outdated looks and style had just as much to do with the divorce as her weak parenting skills. I didn't say this was a fashion show but when it applies I state the obvious. Keep in mind this is my opinion and you do not have to like it. You could skip over it or thumbs down.
fresh77896 1 year ago
@fresh77896 You're sure? Wow! I didn't realize her ex-husband told you that.
Terrigm45 1 year ago
@fresh77896 That's ridiculous. She probably looks this way because she's busy cleaning up after her little destructive son all day long! Her looks have absolutely NO influence on her parenting skills. She also isn't a horrible parent and blaming this all on her is unfair. Jo is right, the dad wasn't involved enough and was probably non-verbally communicating his lack of respect for the boys' mother. It's easy to judge from his point of view, as he's the one being respected.
Chocolateluvr1987 1 year ago
Kobe is sooo adorable, and Aaron is such a good brother :)
bluegirl123321 1 year ago
@bluegirl123321 Adorable????, You're kidding me, i think he is an evil child who needs professional help.Don't let looks device you bluegirl
kallahari 1 year ago