Added: 4 years ago
From: Onipsi
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  • OUTSTANDING........

  • HAHAH man this guy's way of telling you some truths is just incredible.

  • Bitter man.

  • lol i wasa just thinking of this skit

  • lol this was great, Carlin is the best. R.I.P you old motherfucker lol trust me he wouldn't be mad if he knew I said that.

  • nah that old fuck wouldn't have been mad but honest and told you that you are full of shit like the rest of us ;)

  • Beautiful!

  • wow amazing

  • I can stop thinking he used to be a sales man, but really isn't, he's a genius.

  • i wouldnt go far and say hes a genius. he just has common sense and isnt afraid to say whats on his mind. something that most people lack

  • It was just an exaggeration, but you gotta admit that he is one of a kind comedian

  • He himself said that every joke needs an exaggeration ;)

  • yeah no one can touch this guy

  • poetry in motion... RIP you old fuck

  • I'm working in a CALL CENTER, and this shit is totally funny "This customer neeeeeds S-E-R-V-I-C-E..." :))

  • fucking right. zeitgeist too!

  • i just wached zeitgiest, this guy is so on the ball...FUCK THE BANKS

  • One More Thing Fuck Religion I Think Every Man is his Own Religion because its the man who believes and its man who makes that choice. I Mean Come On what he said about god liking you only if your good in his way and not to mention god is pretty much the publicised version of Parents isnt it

  • He Loves You and He Needs Money, Damn man I didnt know Religion was that well funded and i mean billions of dollars and no taxes i mean god damn.

  • lol "if honesty were suddenly introduced into the America life, the whole system would collapse.."

    we talked about taht in class today lol

  • Well, I guess this is the stand up comedy version of Frank Zappa's You Are What You Is.

    George Carlin, R I P.

  • It's all right folks, just get back to consuming the planet and everything will be jussssst fine. Nothing to worry about, don't panic! It's all part of the plan. We know you can't think farther then tomorrow so we are worrying about the next million years for you... Keep watching tv and buying bullshit while we figure out the truth about the universe and make sure you never know anything real or important. Remember, only your own life counts, forget about your descendants and The Milky Way.

  • Awesome comment swyft187

  • that's why I decided not to have any kids. Seriously, people should wear a f--king condom some days. What kind of sick bastard would raise a kid in this world? On the plus side however, I feel no guilt for not recycling

  • Well as long as you educate your children correctly, as in LEARNING HOW TO THINK, rather than learning how to be stupid bots like 99.9% of the people, I think it's the only way to save our civilization, most adults are just too fucking asleep it's just impossible to wake them up, but children can learn.

  • @tkhushrenada: The very premise of idiocracy: Smart people can rationalize not breeding to the point that the species takes a genetic hit, while dumb people will rarely hesitate to pitch or catch a load between relatively willing recipients. This kind of thinking will eventually turn the supreme court into a monster truck rally, and congress into WWF Wrestlemania. Just look how much influence science has lost to creationism over the past decade...

  • "If honesty were suddenly introduced into America life, the whole system would collapse"

    So true. ha ha.

  • Americans should have voted him as president .

  • I agree

  • then the system would have collapsed..

  • The delivery of the last line is perfect.

    We miss ya, George.

  • "Now You talk About a Good Ballshit Story Holy Shit" PMSL

  • This guy should've been president.

  • I agree

    RIP

  • He wouldnt want that job.

  • Yeah and ironically he would've been the best candidate.

  • GOD

  • is bullshit

  • this stuff should be played to children in schools.

    we miss u george

  • "but he loves YOU"...that's my favorite ever

  • "He loves you, AND HE NEEDS MONEY!!!"

  • a true genius

  • Carlin was very perceptive about the way things are and wasn't hesitant to say so

  • Free parking, free.....

    I love the way he tells the truth.

  • Shut up you're idiotic listen to the message.

  • You know what the problem is right. People in this country are just like he said, indoctrinated into believing religion and everything they tell you on the media(tv,mags,newspaper etc...). People are quite content with the way their lives are right now. But that won't be for long. Too bad this country no longer has men like him, we are too busy trying to compete and envy each other to give a shit! So yes it is all BULLSHIT!

  • man your the complete dumb ass idiot that he talks about. If your a kid, you don't belong here too many swear words. If your an adult grow some fucking balls and realize that grown ups cuss all the time, even politicians and preachers.

  • complete "twat" eh? hypocrite!

  • Fuck fuck go away fuck fuck, too many swear words for ya?

  • Carlin was an absolute genius. Very intelligent. And to be able to slam so many things, but yet, I think offend so little people is a gift. He really hits the nail on the head with a common denominator of most people. And even if you disagree with him, I still think you watch him and respect him. I miss George.

  • "its our way of sayn thnk u... actualy its our way of sayn bend over just a tad so we can stick this advertising dic up ur ass!" Xp

    hahhaa its so tru advertisment is bullshit

  • Haha. I love the way he bows. =)

  • Every president we have had for the past 30 years has been full of shit!

  • If heathen means "person who is not brainwashed by Religious nuts" then count me in.

  • "Bull shit is everywhere"

    It's even in your comment :O

  • For an old folk, he sure knew how to ttthhhhrust his hips LOL!

  • lol, "read the bible" the bible is not proof, it wuz written by ppl.

  • Actually, considering that so many people have been "convinced" that the big guy is watching over them, it seems strange that they would continue to do all the "bullshit", i.e, lying, you have to remember Carlin's show is just a show, but I find him funny sometimes.

  • sure its just a show, but remember theres a truth behind every joke. This is truth 100%

  • i don't like you.

  • I agree with George Carlin 99.9% of the time. However, he's wrong about Clinton. Clinton may have been, "full of shit", but when he was in office our economy was fine. And as soon as Bush got in, it went down hill.

  • thats because the economy/any major world event is orchestrated

  • Actually, it's because the economy has its ups and downs presidents have limited control over. Not that Bush did much good for the economy. He's part of that retarded Reagan philosophy that you can rampantly spend uncapped fortunes on defense and other nonsense while keeping taxes low... I think not.

    By the way, I'm sorry istofe21 if I spammed you, but they put the Reply button right next to the Spam button. My apologies.

  • Thats not really true... They are all full of shit. Its all been going down hill for a long time. The economy might have been "fine" while Clinton was in office, but alot of what he did while in office contributed to our current problems. Bush and Clinton, its all the same man. Thats what George was saying.

    If you realy agree with him 99.9% of the time, you would realize that.

  • No, no, no....

    Conservative morons try to blame Bush's wrong doings on Clinton. Clinton was the best choice at that time, you can't always have a good leader....it's the truth.

    I'm not saying Clinton is great, I'm saying it's bullshit that after all these differnt morons America has had fucking with it, people choose to blame Clinton. It's stupid...

  • Clinton, Bush, whatever, they are all puppets.

  • Yeah, we should've impeached that idiot.

  • clinton was the result of the economy from the former president, clinton brought it down hill, it just so happens bush happened to be next

  • Actually when Clinton left office, he had a budget that had the US balanced in 10 years, if followed. Bush decided to spend spend spend.

  • and it doesnt help that clinton loved bombing other countries

  • clinton was just a croney, get over the puppet, people.

  • watchd scary movie4 the other day and found out hes the guy in the light house! =P never noticed it until after i heard he passed. he was a great comedian!

  • i wonder: did george carlin vote, and who did he vote for? he didn't seem to approve of anyone.

  • he didnt vote, hes dead

  • duh, dude. i was talking about when he was alive, like in this excerpt.

  • He did a bit on his choice to not vote, so no, he didn't vote.

  • this guy is great

  • George Carlin is the fucking greatest.

  • this guy was a great comdien and a great narrorator for thomas the tank engine

  • wait he narrated that show wow amazing.

  • "RIP" or "bless you" are just things you are conditioned to say. It makes others alive feel better about the dead, or maybe they are sick and we wish them better health. We are sociable. We communicate ergo we are sociable beings. We live in society. Individuals yet part of a whole. We act and say things to make others feel better due to our concern. I would surmise common courtesy if you will.

    Have a nice day :)

  • actually, even "bless you" has it's roots in ancient roman mythology -- they believed that the soul exited the body through the nose with one's last breath. in fact a common term for "i thought i was gonna die" was something to the effect of "my soul was in my nose". pagan idea, adopted into christianity after Constantine. related to Christianity, sure, but not rooted in it.

  • Bill Clinton OMG If you were alive today George Id kiss you Those fucking Clintons are nothing but greedy lying motha Fuckers We The People are paying for their mansion

  • He's partly right, but I'm reminded of something Winston Churchill once said: "This is the worst form of government ever devised--except for all of those other types of government that have been tried."

  • wrong. there are better forms of governments than what we have. mainly because our governments are really secret dictatorships.

  • all governments are corrupt in some way but ours controls us with fear we have the moral right to revolt but we never will

  • I've been a major fan since I first saw "You're all diseased" on HBO while on holidays in the US (I'm from France). And beside his brilliant old-school insights, his stubborn refusal to go for PC-fun, I'm always amazed by his intonations, and comedic skill. I'm sure he was a natural, but he must have also worked tons on his routines. His voice especially, at times is ab-so-lu-te-ly fantastic, so full of meaning, and so brutal. RIP George, you are sorely missed.

  • now why would someone give you a thumbs down, Steven?

    great comment! peace, andrea

  • Probably because they were George Carlin hating butthurts.

  • rip ? he was an atheist so why are you using christian mark : " rip" ?

  • You're right, I didn't even think about it... And I'm agnostic myself!

    Ah well, that'll teach me to not be 100% focussed when I post on youtube. Dang. Spur of the moment, you are a quite formidable foe...

  • because they ignorant pricks

  • people saying bless you actually came from the black plague era people who had the plague that sneezed got told the phrase bless you because they wanted them to be killed with a blessing it's got nothing to do with being polite

  • So the abbreviation for "rest in peace" is copyrighted by christianity?

  • No my point is ANYONE can say rest in peace...it doesn't have to have religious ties, just because religious people use it why can't an atheist? double standards? It's not copyrighted by christianity is it? therefor it's fine to use without being critisized for if you're an athiest.

  • lol reast in peace is not a religious thing to say at all. It has nothing to do with christianity or any other religion. It's just a nice thing to say to dead people. R.I.P George carlin

  • hahhaa

    bill CLITon

  • G.C was the ultimative GRANDMASTER of a man that knows what is going on....R.I.P brother

  • my only arguement is bill hicks

  • that is one very very strong arguement, but still older models have some value, this guy must have been on the act before Bill was born, but of course bill rules, but mainstream versions are available!

  • hes a genius, he is so right.

  • so So So so true

  • If you like this listen to Tom Waits Step Right Up its almost word for word. Brilliant stuff

    'comes in all colours one size fits all, turns a sandwich into a banquet, gets rid of your Travellers checks, turns you into a hindu boy, gets rid of your wife, makes excuses for unwanted lipstick on your collar, only a dollar, its new improved old fashoined never needs winding'

  • he should have played in glengarry glen ross.

    "coffee is for closers only."

  • ahahahahahahahahahahaha. MAN THIS IS AWESOME !!!

  • I'm from the u.k and never seen this guy before he's awesome and so right , especially on the religion front, biggest con ever and that goes for all of them complete load of shit, agree in the morals of comandments and stuff nothin wrong with morals in society but religion is just a big pile of bullshit and some americans are completely brain washed about it, british people too but not to the same extent.

  • he is brutally honest and pusssies just can't handle his comedy. Thats why alot of people dont like him

  • So poetic.

  • Absolute genius, nail firmly on the head there

  • RUFUSSSSSSS, DUUUUUDE :-D

  • he's so right.

  • wow...he is so clear and so spot on..

  • HHZAHAH wut i always say to my mum

  • This man was a fucking genius.

  • it sucks that he dead

  • genius

  • Absolutely one of the ALL time Greats.

    Gone and will always be remembered...

    A unique personalities' which will

    be hard to fill [smile]

    Thanks George.. where ever you are!

  • another dead hero.

  • Religion= bull shit

  • i hate that audience ignorant people cheering for everything he says, while I think theydon't even understand the thought5 behind this sketch

  • They understand the thoughts behind the sketch, they just don't care because they're sheep, they want to fit in, be liked, be entertained. It's the numskull american way!

  • Know what you mean!

  • If i could ever bring a person back to life it would be him.

  • him and, chris farley, thats more like three people though... :)

  • Cooooooooool!!! The last part was used in ZeitGeist! Didn`t know it was him!

  • George Carlin- What an awesome man.

  • Why the mainstream majority "hate" people who remind us of the atrocities of corporatacracy and our mindless following and indoctrination into ideology that is an oxymoron and a facade is beyond me. The truth hurts, and whether we can admit the truth or not, is irrelevant.

    "Avoid the crowd. Think independently. Be a chess player, not a chess piece." (author unkown by the poster)

  • Learn grammar before you decide to look like an idiot.

  • "But he loves you" PMSL xD R.I.P George Carlin

  • george carlin cannot rest in peace. he's dead.

  • Religious people are stupid

  • what the hell else is he supposed to say.

    I hope we all treasure his memory and learn from his teaching?

    that's what RIP means these days

    And just because you disagree with something doesn't mean they're stupid.

  • agree

  • "If George had a good heart"

    He did, maybe that was the problem? *conspiracy tinfoil umbrella hat*

  • poor monkeys who dont get IT! Your a retard! like every other human waste!

  • It's not "Bullsh*t!", but "Bullshit!"

  • He was one of the best comedians that has ever lived on this God forsaken planet.

  • If George had a good heart and didnt leave this shithole world, he should of been the next president and he would of straightened things out.

  • omg he said nigger, was he one the the nigger guys?

  • he was always with the black people he is totally against white people so him saying nigger does not mean he is racist

  • r.i.p

  • "...but He loves you..." I hate religion...but im glad He loves me

  • Can you only imagine what we would have said of the candidates (both Republican and Democrat) if he was alive today.

    He would have had a field day with Sarah Palin.

  • He just died like 2 months ago. So I'm sure he was aware of the presidential race. And he probably said his opinion at one time or another.

  • Yeah... what are you talking about.. he knew who the candidates were...

  • yes we are lol

  • Notice the ironic justice your thumbs up generate, the original statement got -6 and yours an ADVANCEMENT on the original got +13...... Isn't this what George tried to avoid. HA HA

  • um lol i duno what the lil numbers mean or what your talking about i acknowledge the face tht most people not just americans are full of shit im a complicated intelligent person tho my standards are high i guess

  • this seems similar to Modern Man

  • Man I'm gonna miss that guy. Kinda wish he woulda done another routine before he passed. I'd woulda liked to know what was on his mind. R.I.P

  • he did do another one.. right before he passed.. its in 2008 so i dunno how much more u could ask for..

  • The part about religion was amazing. I'm Christian and I thought that was hilarious.

  • AMAZING

    TRUTH ALL AROUND

  • so what if they did attract large homosexual followings? whats wrong with gay people?