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From: beaverbunch
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  • totally agree. i feel like it's fingers on a chalkboard to here partner too.

  • for me been a wife is an actitud... i dont think you need to get legally married or have a religious seremony to consider your Girlfriend/lover/partner as your wife... i have a 7 years old relationship, i consider myself married, so i have a wife, we share rings for the simbolic meaning... and we are happy for been together, but we dont care if we say girfriend or wife.... we know in our heart that we are married, so we are wifes! i agree with you, dont like the word partners or lovers...

  • Oh my goodness.I totally agree with the whole Wife v.s. Partner thing. Awesome.

  • "Very, very personally..." Oh God Michelle o.O Haha

  • OMG just shut up you dont need to express your every frigging thought. use some self editing

  • I personally would introduce her as my wife but use something more personal when alone, like inamorata or love or whatever... I've always thought that was cute when my parents said stuff like that in secret.

  • LMFAO..."Im going to call you Michelle......" dont know why but this was the most hilarious thing ive heard in a minute...you were right..priceless. "Im gonna call her wife...damn it...." you are so funny. love the vids. always making me feel better. Terms like wife, make me feel closer to my girlfriend. Im sure she feels the same way.

  • Haha when my girlfriend and I first got together I specifically told her "We will NEVER be lovers." I totally feel you on this.

  • i Hate it when chicks that have been together for about two weeks say "this is my partner..." It seems to minimize the real and long-term comitement of those people that have some kind of "marriage" contract. I call my wife my wife. We got married in Canada and if thats what they use their thats what she is. We are not in a limited liability partnership or something.

  • if you are still looking for a detailed list of lesbian labels...there's a list in the sex or relationship forums on downelink*com. labels restrict and in the african american community, strict stud/femme couplings can really drag a newbie down into old roles and restrictions. by now, roles should be allowed to bend but often not. Also, we have major issues with 2 studs dating & studs dating an affem. or trans male. lez sleeping with men is an issue 4 me

  • I hate when i hear someone say This is my "partner" its like NO! WIFE GIRLFRIEND or FIANCE! and i find the word lover rater annoying! glad were on the same page :)

  • hahahahahhahaha "fuck that. I wanna use what they use. shit." hahahaha

  • you should bring your girlfriend on the vlog sometime

  • "shes going to be my wife, damn it."

    haha brilliant. you are great.

  • damnn your takennn :[

  • haha awhh your so gorgeous

    girls with long dark hair and glasses are just

    omg.

    your amazing i love your videos haa :]

  • Whenever someone says partner i think of like a Dective... Like."Hey this is my partner." ... "OH! Cool your a cop!" Yeah stupid word. aha

  • lol, "im gonna call you michelle"

    that was good. yeah i think those terms were developed by heteros being uncomfortable calling homosexual couples girlfriend and girlfriend or boyfrind and boy friend. it also sounds like what parents use when trying to explain to thier kids about their uncle's new "friend".

  • Agreed

  • lol that is priceless "im gonna call you michelle" lol

  • lol..this video was so fuckin funny...the editing was funny....im sooo w/ you about the 2 words...i hate "lover" and "partner"...always have and always will..

    You rock for 2 reasons...you and I have the same kick ass name and you freakin hot!..lol

  • Totally agree. When someone says "my partner," half the time I don't know the person well enough to know if they are referring to a business partner or a gay spouse. If we want to be treated the same as straight couples, I don't see why we can't treat ourselves the same way and say wife/husband instead of muddying it up.

  • i totally agrre with your opinion on the partner vs. wife thing

    when i hear partner i think of like someone you work on a project with

    or as you said a business partner...

    in the matters of love...id say wife =)

    LUFF SARAH!

  • haha "the spectrum-o-gay!" that was so funny lol

  • also i think its awesome you use wife. i personally hate those words [partner,lover..etc.] too. and also i dont understand why we make a big deal about not being able to call civil unions marriege if we call our girlfriends partners.

    we wnat tosay im mrried like a hetero couple bt we wont even call them our girlfriend? i dont get it.

    whatever. no offense to anyoneand....

    I love you michelle. lol

  • this is like sold but im commenting anyway. lol

    seems like your into labels but not stereotypes

  • Equal Opportunity..

    hahaha

  • PS UR HOT

  • I have a video on labels maybe you should check it out.. it should be on my main page

  • aw, thank you!

  • LOL - big hearts right back!

  • hey so just so you fabulous girls know

    this HAS gone GLOBAL!!! since in the first vid u uploded...u wondered if this would...be that BIG...

    so BASICALLY it is!

    i'm from VERY far away....

    :D

  • HAHA - yay for global!!

  • ohmygosh! That was ADORABLE that she said "im gonna call you... michelle..." i love it! Is she blonde/ ust curious? lol... oh and i uh.. totally wrote a poem about Miami... and you should check it out!! its my latest vlog on my page... Let me know what you think seeing as how you can relate in a sense cuz yer from there! :)

  • HAHA - no she isn't blond, she's just a smartass...lol.

  • i love your opinions! you're seriously awesome..and I don't like the word partner either. it's just very impersonal. love your videos.

  • Thank you Amu! Yeah, I'm a wife/gf girl...lol

  • People need to understand that a certain label is not defined in the same way for everyone who uses it. Even just with the general terms of gay, lesbian, bi, straight, etc., different people define those things for themselves in different ways. I think some people identify as whatever they are based completely on the physical aspect of their sexuality in full, and others are only emotionally connected to a certain gender/genders and the physical part of the attraction comes with it.

  • Ran out of room.

    Anyway, whatever label someone wants to use for him/herself is great; I just wish more people would get it through their heads that one person who identifies as gay is not going to be exactly the same as another, that that one specific label does not dictate all of who they are, and that some people wish to not label themselves in any way. All of these things should be more respected.

  • I couldn't have said it better myself! Thank you!

  • Wife.. Wife.. Wife..

    Say it 3 times to make it stick!

    I think that everyone should say it if you have had a ceremony to devote yourselves to one another. The more we say it and the more people hear it, the less "out of place" or the less "shock value" it will have.

    It is called integrating and desensitizing. The more people hear/see/interact in everyday normal life with it being common place, the more accepted it will eventually become. (Even amongst us)

  • Very very very good point - I have to say I'm in agreement. But at the same time, I'm all for people picking whatever term works best for them - for me it's wife :)

  • My wife and I had a small, private ceremony eight years ago. Just the two of us under a full moon. We exchanged vows and from that day to now I have called her my wife. Whether anyone recognizes it or not, she is my wife, my love, my match. Regardless if the straight community accepts us or not, we are in love. I agree with you, wife, ALL THE WAY!!

  • <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 Best fuzzy comment ever! Congrats!!!! That's really so wonderful to hear :)

  • Very angry toward the end. I love it! You are my vlogging home girl!

  • HAHA - yeah I always end up angry...

  • What if your girlfriend wanted you to use the word partner instead of anything feminine would you say it?

  • If she wanted me to call her partner of course I would...it's whatever the two people decide on. I like wife, she likes wife - so wife it is!

  • I'm going to get my universal marriage lisence. I'll marry you two for free if you want.

  • SWEET! lol

  • I'm a big fan of saying wife as well. A friend of ours started to call us Mrs. & Mrs. after we got hitched.

  • LOVE Mrs. and Mrs. haha - love it! Congrats on getting hitched :)

  • That opening gambit has had me giggling all night- probably coz I'm pissed! The only labels I care about is on my hand-wash knit wear uni-sex jumper.

  • LOL - well said!

  • I agree with you.

    "Partner" sounds more like "associate", it doesn't make sense to use that word to describe such a meaningful relationship.

    And "lover" sounds like a secret affair between two people.

    Girlfriend/wife sound good to me.

  • :) I agree with you.

  • Just saw a commercial that asked, "Would you like to stop your partner's snoring?" seemed like a good way to wrap up every kind of relationship where two people regularly sleep in the same bed.

  • Yeah - totally, partner is a commonly used term and I support it, it just doesn't fit for me :)

  • BEST RESPONSE EVER from your girlfriend, Michelle! Two million points to her!

    Partner:"Person that [the person I was dealing with] lives with at home, in a domestic relationship (as if husband and wife or civil partners), regardless of gender"

    Legal stuff from a company I worked for; when said like that it DOESN'T sound at all romantic does it? But that's just me.

    Some GLBTQ sites have lists of some of the different terms, or Emilythecrazy put up a short video recently on the subject.

  • HAHA - yeah she's a smart ass...lol.

    Nah, I like a bit of romance :)

  • "lover" makes me wretch.

  • me too

  • to be fair, the original phrase was "life partner", that's more than just partner, right?

    anyway, of course you shouldn't just enumerate a list of labels, that's what wikipedia is for.. Jess did it, and she said it was tedious (which is crap, we could listen to Jess describe labels for hours :p ). It's a lot more interesting to hear everyone's personal take on them, whatever it is, it'll be authentic, that's why we care :)

  • Agreed Pete!

  • i agree 100% that u should call ur girlfriend etha girlfriend or wife i mean if ur in love it dnt matter what otha ppl say!... also...i gotta question... does uploading vidz suppose to take 6hrs??

  • haha - oh no 6 hours? Yeah, it's not supposed to upload that long.

  • lol... partner... makes me think partners in crime... xD

  • that it does!

  • "lover" sounds so cougar-ish to me ...like the woman is really old and hungry for some lovin'...weird.

    Anyhoo, great vlog, you know I heart you!

  • HAHAHA - well you know me and cougars...

    Heart you back!

  • "Specturm O'Gay" is the best phase I've ever heard associated with this topic EVER! You crack me, awesome video! And your girlfriend's response cracked me up as well!

  • Feel free to use it!

    HAHA - yeah she's a smart ass :)

  • LADY FRIENDDDD

    lol :]

  • Love me some lady friend!

  • 5*****

  • woot!

  • I like wife, too!!!

  • wife ftw!

  • see when you said you were gonna go ask what your fiancee would call you..i was like "i bet she's gonna say 'michelle..'" and she did! that made me happy haha. you're so lovely!!

    this videos so sweet :)

  • HAHAHA - yes, yes she did.

    Awe, thank you <3

  • "i'm gonna call you,Michelle." So Funny!

  • we'll keep her :)

  • urbandictonary helps

  • yes! I heard they have some good definitions.

  • Haha...I'm going to call you Michelle. Too funny.

  • :) She has a good sense of humor!

  • The term lover always cracks me up... (=

    Cheers... J.

  • It sounds silly...lol.

  • Urban Dictionary.

    Don't know many beaver labels to check what is all there, however, Stone Butch and Femme are there. Was looking for definition of Stone Fox.

    urbandictionary

    won't let you post a website address

  • boo - yt needs to let you post links!

  • this can be a formal writ of protest,

    should get some action, real soon. :-)

  • Oh my fucking god i HATE 'Partner' it's so annoying because if people call me and my girlfriend'partners' i feel like we're in an episode of CSI. 'Significant other' is another annoying one too. Fuck that bullshit

  • HAHA - well put sista!

  • you're a cussing machine - it's pretty funny.

  • HAHA - yeah I curse a lot.

  • I completely agree about not sticking to one label. Anytime someone identifies as just one thing they eventually begin to change who they are in order to continue fitting in to an ever narrowing description of themselves.

  • Agreed!

  • jen had a good question.

    i call my grilfriend my girlfriend, but, it doesnt bother me persay when she calls me her girlfriend, but i dont really like it, and i cant think of annother term i would like better. any ideas?

    also can we at least get a picture of your future wife, i know shes camra shy, but im dieing to know what she looks like, in a non creepy stalker way, lol.

  • It's tough - try out a couple of labels...have her say it outloud and see what's the most comfortable for you. It may take some time to find the right one - but there is no need to settle for one you're not comfortable with!

    HAHA - I'll ask and see what she says :)

  • I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN about the whole "partner/ lover". It makes me cringe when I here it.

  • well I'm glad I'm not the only one :)

  • "I'm going to call you Michelle." Hahaha. Oh it's such a shame she's so camera shy. With a response like that she'd make for a fantastic guest. Good sense of humour in her.

  • She would make a great guest, but alas I'm respecting her decision to be the supportive gf and stay far away from the cam...haha.

  • LOL "Im going to call you Michelle"

  • She's a smart ass...lol

  • ha ha.. your future wife has a good sense of humor. "I'm going to call you Michelle..." LOVE IT!

  • Yeah - haha - the Jewish sarcasm thing...she's lucky she'd cute.

  • Lol what are you going to call me when we get married? Michelle. hahahaha PRICELESS

  • Yeah, she's a smart ass...lol...but she's cute so I'll keep her :)

  • YOUR SO LOVLEY XXXXXXXXXXXX

  • awe, haha, thank you :)

  • Labels are problematic. They're necessary in that humans are linguistic creatures who see the world through words. The problem then becomes creating terms and ideas that are flexible enough to encompass everyone. I've met people who were offended at the idea of labels, but abandoning labels means abandoning any attempt at understanding.

    I go for the term mate when referring to any romantic connection between myself or anyone else. It applies to everyone. We're animals. We mate. Mates.

  • that's awesome!

  • im not sure what I would choose to be called if I was genderqueer because im a transguy. I can only say what I would want to be called as a transguy. Hope that my above comment didnt offend you because that wasn't my intent.

  • Mate - I like it :)

  • Glad that you and your future wife will be using the correct terms. Its nice to hear that someone else doesnt like the words lover or partner when referring to gay marriage. I think thats what really makes the difference. It seems like you would use those words if you werent married and use wife or husband if your were. Just some input from a transguy. : )

  • what about if you were genderqueer? what would you choose to be called.

  • Love transguy imput - love all input really, but transguy input FTW! It's ultimately a personal choice...I'm comfy with wife and gf...just who I am, and it's what best describes me :)

  • What term would you suggest for a person who does not identify as male or female? You can't call them wife or husband or girlfriend or boyfriend...

  • I was thinking the same thing.  My sweetie and I use partner but we are getting married on Nov 4th and then it will change to spouse. I dont like the term wife. It makes me feel too girlie and I don't really identify that way. What terms do others use when they identify as genderqueer?

  • thank you for agreeing with me.

    partner is amazing. so it would be nice if people respected it. if someone doesn't like it- that's fine. but they don't have to make us feel like shitheads for using a gender ambiguous, equal term.

    PARTNERS UNITE!!!

  • Wow, alright...well needless to say I expected a bit more from you guys, but fair enough. I have NOTHING against using the term partner, but it's not for me. Since when does everyone in the GLBTQ community have to use the same terms for who they are dating...it's sad really. I don't like the word partner for me, but I have nothing against someone else using it...why would I?

  • First, congrats on the wedding!!!!! YAY!!!! In regards to the term you should use to identify as genderqueer, its whatever term you are most comfortable with...whether that's partner or anything else under the rainbow. Whatever the two of you decide with be the best term...that's my opinion and I'm sticking to it...lol.

  • I think the couple should come up with whatever term they choose...a term that they are most comfortable with. I'm not big on making blanket statements, and I'm not big on telling people what they should or should not "label" themselves as...it's a personal choice. I'm not against the word partner by any means, I just don't like it for me.

  • If we play bridge can we be partners?

    And dang it - I'm disappointed that you didn't explain why you use the term "guys" to address the beavers who watch this channel.

  • Of course!

    Hmmm - I don't know why I use guys...I guess that's just my "label" for you all...haha.

  • Lol. I totally agree with you on the whole wife thing. Currently I call my girlfriend my girlfriend, and when she (hopefully one day) becomes my fiance I'll call her that and after that, hopefully we'll still have a place to legally be wed so that I'll be lucky enough to call her my wife. Nice P.O.V. on the stereotypes, by the way. :)

  • I'm the same - gf for now, wife for later...haha :)

  • yay!

  • :) yay!

  • You're adorable, Michelle. I like your hair today. =)

    -Elizabeth

  • Awe, thanks Liz!

  • i friggin HATE "partner" !!!

    girlfriend/wife yo.

  • agreed!

  • On the partner/wife thing...I went to Australia for a month earlier this year, and EVERYONE uses partner. Straight people, gay people, married people, unmarried people, everyone. It's so strange. Especially because I, like you, think partner sounds like a business arrangement. Wife for me, thanks.

  • Another wife ftw! Yeah partner trips me out...

  • You can tell a lot about a married (straight) man by whether he uses the term "the wife" as opposed to "my wife". I wonder if the connotation of "the wife" being a possesssion like "the car" or "the house" has led to some resistance to the term in your community?

  • idk why i had to rewind that part where you went 'theend' lmao so funny for some reason! <3

  • HAHA - thank you :)

  • the word wife ftw

  • agreed!

  • spouse, bride, mate,

    uxor: uks-or, legal term, latin for wife,

    companion(buzzed, no good, same connotation as partner.

    Wife has more of a mental love ring.

    Hindu women wear a red dot on their foreheads to show their status as married?? :-)

    Do cats come some other way?

  • Good run down :) Not sure about the cats...haha.

  • felt compelled to explain the Hindu remark.

    Thought,'wife' mainstream? Next thought, do you lose imagination the more comfortable you get? Next,'mainstream is the whole idea'. Wife is not the best word I can think of between 2, deeply connected, but it's the affectionate label given to the female. I was not making fun of Hindu's, I was asking you, what do you think??, can we come up with something, but I did mean that as a joke.

    love&imagination = lasting marriage

    friends I hope

  • 2 questions. Why a need for a label on how you look or the way you like your sex? In the heterosexual community, that would be infinity labels. What 'I think' I'm seeing, Exp: label-different positions daily;otherwise, don't approach me. Does it cloud the real issue, or are we(used loosely) past it? 2nd, could you tell me what <3 means. I'm stumped, been trying to figure it out for a month. I see less than three. I less than three you?_? sorry,made u my go 2 guy/gal. Hope I wasn't insensitive

  • questions answered to my satisfaction.

    Labels exist in straight and gay communities(explanations of why we label\ourselves or are labeled).

    Clouding the real issue\s, no.

    Found <3 at NetLingo(never would have guessed heart)

    no more long posts, please accept my apology

  • from a very recent chat -

    "friend: hey, are you straight, bi, gay, queer, somewhere else, or somewhere in between?

    me: all of the above"

  • Couldn't have said it better! Amazing :)

  • the worst one is wifey lol

  • Wifey doesn't bother me so much...haha

  • Haha..Love it. =) Thats pretty funny that shes going to call you Michelle. lol.

  • HAHA - yeah, I think I framed the question wrong the first time around!

  • ew- lover. That word makes me cringe...not sure why, but yeah it does.

  • makes me cringe too!

  • "Spectrum o' gay" I love it. Great video. OK, I am going to start rockin the wife, I mean using the word wife.

  • Thanks Van! HAHA - how's the other half going to feel when you bust with the "wife" lol.

  • i <3 you, you crack me up!

    I agree with everything you said, about the labels..and the word "partner".

    with me, I'm a definite girlie girl on the outside, but I can still change a fender on a car, and play football (better than my brothers). :P

    can't wait until sat!

  • I <3 you too!

    You can change a fender?!?! I don't even know what a fender is...minus lesbo points for me!

  • you don't know what a fender is?! haha neither did I until i learned how to change it :P

    the fender connects to the bumper. It's that piece of metal that's right above your front tires :)

    so..for now, i will not subtract lesbo points, you get to keep them! :P

  • To be fair, I think the word partner has served its purpose in emphasizing that there are other than traditional relationships. I think the normal wife/husband terms will eventually prevail.

    I as I've mentioned to the others, I prefer not labelling--let's all be individuals.

    Probably the neatest term I've come across was one of your commenters who referred to "playing on the other side of the garden" So much nicer than many other terms used!

  • I agree - and I wasn't saying it shouldn't be used...just that I can't get on that bandwagon...lol.

    HAHA - garden, how fitting :)

  • The creature labels belief

  • confused...lol

  • Labels help people

  • no one is

  • I am protesting! I want Labels for straight people too. Why should only Gay people have them. And I would like to have Male Lesbian If you knew me youd understandhahaha

    But really I don't feel anyone should be placed in a Box. Live life and explore all avenues ;)

  • HAHAHA - we can totally rock labels for everyone :)

    But I agree no one should feel like they should be placed in a box.

  • Straight people do have labels..Tom boys, Metro sexual...

    Now that i think about it you are right...

    tomboys grow up to be lesbians and metro sexual guys are just in the closet.

    haha jk

  • I think we want to see your wife-to-be next to you saying she's going to call you wife. All in favour of seeing Michelle's wife-to-be, say "I"!

  • Nope nope - sorry folks, but she stays far away from the camera and I respect that.

  • This makes me sad... But I respect that, too.

    Back to labels: some people, I find, just like to have that security of knowing who they are- or what they appear to be to others- and you find it easier to relate to others who are labelled the same.

    Not that I like them or anything. Yay for Thursday!

  • i like fancy lady..." oooh I'm just of 2 see my fancy lady!" LOL ; )

  • HAHA - Oh, meanwhile my gf is from South Africa...I remember in one of your vids you said that's where you were from as well...I think? LOL.

  • Yeah I'm from Durban! have you gone to SA with her? you really should if you haven't, so so beautiful x

  • Oh Trolley this phrase sounds best when you say it :-)

  • sister friend?