Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels Best Quotes

[LaurenG6948]

@MrLePov I agree with you on that one!

[drifter105]

best dialogue ever, every scene is epic

[deadsamson7]

rory breaker is fucking hilarious

[TheAmusementchannel]

;-p

[0532MOET]

Some of the good lines were cut off

[birdy1052]

piss of ya nonse

[sophie0607]

Wasn't expecting a f*cking rainforest... :D

[hazardous1990]

"he's a fackin liability!"

[FrozenHelium]

*pop* "aaaaaaaaaaaah" "don't touch him up, knock him out"

[samipakiboi]

Arse Ticklers Faggots Fan Club

[sallyh123]

Chill Winston! 

[GlasgowsBlue]

"I'll find ya"

"What you think this is? Fucking hide and seek" haha!

[nekrofita]

guns for show knifes for Pro :D

[samipakiboi]

@Levanoir why yes he his, I don't think you recognised him with that cap covering his bald patch haha

[Levanoir]

Is Rob Brydon playing a trafic warden?

[sephjnr]

@Levanoir Yup.

[TheMexicaster]

You'd take a pain in the ass for air miles... LOVE IT !!!!!

[felled]

Bacon: "When their not pickin' peanuts outta poop....they're robbin' unfortunate souls for their hard earned drugs"

[jackydefo]

vinny jones and jason statham love them :)

[MrLePov]

Best one is Rory with: "Is this some white cunts joke that black cunts dont get? Cus i'm not facking laughing Nikolas!"

Plus his face makes it the best as well =p

[alan517815]

Oi!

[TheSafetyTurtle]

"It's me bren gun"...fuckin A!

[THEKINGBG1]

6:18 c`mon chop chop XDDD

[polochill]

its been emocianal

[Sodgez123]

Lunduun!

[101Darkhide]

"Can i have a cocktail mate?" moments later.."whats this?" Barkeeper: That's your cocktail? "I asked for a cocktail, I wasn't expecting a fucking rainforest.." That whole part should have been included! lolz..=)

[17sndlilboots]

2 people didn't kept their fingers outta his soup!

[makiavelli999]

I´d rather put my money on a three legged rocking horse!

[craig2307]

Its a deal its a steal its sale of the fuckn centuary, infact fuck it nick i think il keep it. Alright alright keep yer alans on here's a tun. Jesus Christ u could choke a dozen donkeys on that, and ur haggling over 100 pounds what do when ur not buying steros nick finance revoloutions.

[shanghaiscutt]

its a dog eat dog world nd i have bigger teeth than u lol

[MrIanPlaster]

IM the F***in' Liability!

[lisquidsnake]

Cheeky BAAASTRD

[swastika]

i'l find ya..

course you will sweetheart.

i'l find ya.

what do you think this is? fucking hide n' seek.

[swastika]

if the milk turns out to be sour, i aint the kind of pussy to drink it.

[MrJayCudmore]

Rob FACKIN' Brydon?!

[kevinchelsea1]

what you do when not buying stereoe, financing revolutions?

[connor2008123]

Shotguns? What like guns that fire shots?

[17sndlilboots]

lol I'm not fucking laughing, Nic-ol-ARSE!!!!

[TheRandomRiffs]

Dont touch him up knock him out

[lak94]

"Fooking southern shanty drinking bastards".

[17sndlilboots]

27 people didn't mind their language in front of "the boy"

[JuliaVL1]

I like british accent so much... it sounds so sexy

[Antifaith29]

@JuliaVL1 Sorry, there's no such thing as a British accent. What you're hearing is one of the many dialects of an english accent. Britain is england, ireland, scotland and wales.

[warriorofwrestlingv3]

@JuliaVL1 Heh heh these are just London accents-some of us you wouldn't even be able to understand-listen to a Scouse or Geordie accent and you'll know what I mean heh

[JuliaVL1]

@warriorofwrestlingv3 I know that it is just london accent. I may listen it for hours )) though it is hard to understand

[TheAmusementchannel]

@JuliaVL1 Thank u ;-)

[JuliaVL1]

@TheAmusementchannel welcome)

[TheAmusementchannel]

@JuliaVL1 ditto ;-)

[pdfstreet]

@JuliaVL1 There's no such thing as a British accent

[Di0genesus]

@JuliaVL1

Which one?

[batgirl301270]

brilliant this - and its sooooooooooo funny when its all put together - great!!!!

[tantorecords]

The entire british empire was built on cups of tea, and i'm not going to fucking war without one.

[Apollo5600]

Sting!!

[LynchMobster47]

The arse tickler's faggot's fan club bit is hilarious!

[Nabs07]

lock n stock my two smokin barrels darling

[Nabs07]

*its been emotional" haha thats the least its been

[Nabs07]

*i feel more safer bettin on a three legged rockin horse* and more rattled with its fourth leg stuck up ur jacksey u sleazy cunt lolol thums up^ trousers down plz..

[nellgwen48]

I think you left out one of my favorite quotes. "Tom, you're a dick." And I love "Piss off you nunce."

[snekcid98]

2 people met the baptist

[phwoart]

Because who wants their bank manager to know they tickle arse when they're not paying in cheques? :D

Of course you'll look mean. You'll look really scary.

Don't you think you could have brought something a little bit more practical?

DON'T TOUCH HIM UP. KNOCK HIM OUT.

"I'd take a pain in the arse for half a million quid."

"- You'd take a pain in the arse for air miles."

Get Nick. That Greasy Wop Shistos Pesevengi Gamouri Greek Bastard.

It's been emotional.

[iron0an]

1:08 hahahahaha the best

[simnewmills]

If the milk turns out to be sour, I ain't the type of pussy to drink it

[VcottntailW]

i'd rather put money on a 3 legged rockin horse.

[miss19lolo]

are there any women in this film?

[Playereyeball]

@miss19lolo uhh yea

[stormscorpionuk]

@miss19lolo

one drugged up hippie

[eleninwatch]

"SPANKING!"

[moralesalimoney123]

ITS BEEN EMOTIONAL!

[AH17293]

5.45-6.00 quality



[idem1971]

Armed with bad breath! What a movie!! Best ever!!!

[siva12]

what's you think this?Fuckin hide and seek?

[RockerWarrenMOViES]

Is this some white cunts joke that black cunts DON'T GET ?!

[hayesy25]

Well brother mother any other sucker!

[MRnightmuffin]

wtf does rory breaker say at 5:19

[moralesalimoney123]

@MRnightmuffin Get Nick, that greasy wop, shistos, pesevengi, gamouri Greek bastard, if he's stupid enough to still be on this planet

[MRnightmuffin]

chill winstaaaaaaaan

[LucySkyz]

He's then proceeded to ba'er poor Smiffy to deaff wi'it

[saberfan123]

CHILL WIINSTAN

[ByteMe619]

Is this one of them jokes that white cunts get and black cunts dont? Cos I'm not fuckin laughin nicholaaaaaas!

[ukurbanfarmer]

the end is the funniest , what the fuck are you doing here

[NEVERLEAVEORFORSAKE]

Such a great movie!! Great job at putting the best Quotes!

[PapayaThoughts]

"Well, brother, mother, any other sucker" - Genius writing.

[VincentWest1]

"There is only more thing,..It's been emotional"

[MultiR700]

this chap might look a bit silly hes a fucking lunatic!

[jamesthemod]

You almost have to feel sorry for the main lead actor in this. Some of the other actors have found fame and success in Hollywood and he is nowhere to be seen!

[MrKali92uk]

I'm not sure what's more worried, your job or your past.. hahah

[chinnythewarrior]

I don't fucking believe this! Could everyone stop getting shot!

[wardul]

quit it with single quotes the hole fucking thing is hilarious

[dzonifazoni]

Arse Tickler's Faggots Fan Club

best idea ever

[Engelados]

Wasn't expecting a fucking rainforest....you can fall in love with an urangotangue in there...... thats the best :D

[braddy000]

Great film...but i think i prefer SNATCH...Vinnie Jones is in both and i dont think anyone can compare to BrickTop

[LucySkyz]

@braddy000 I prefer Snatch as well. It has no obnoxious characters, as this one has (Rory Breaker is insufferable, IMHO)

[MrsGreenDay123]

'What the fuck'

*SLAM*

'You watch your language in front of the boy'

'Jesus Christ'

*SLAM*

'That includes Blasphemy as well'

Hahaha amazing film! :)

[einnebbennie]

De whole fakin movie is a great quote! Love it!

[simonhojovii]

guns you tit

[LiquidExtreme12]

"Don't touch him up, Knock him out!". (5.24).

[JUSTHERE4THEVIDS24]

@LiquidExtreme12 love the sound he makes after jason statham hits em too hahaha he was like aaaahhhh!! (softly) lol

[rdoabvbiiees]

I've noticed something. I think this video has the largest number of likes against not having a dislike of any video I've ever seen. Report back if you find one with 215 or more likes and no dislikes!

[CRACKPOTATOE]

"What the fack are you doin' 'ere?"

[JAKE076]

@MundytotheMax you must be one of those jiggaboo nuthuggin wannabees.

[Greatestrowerever]

@MundytotheMax Capitalisation!

[Greatestrowerever]

@MundytotheMax Capitalisation!



[musicformyeyes5]

the traffic warden completes this movie :) 

[JAKE076]

it's strange to see a black guy talk with a british accent. i'm used to hearing them talk without proper grammar or for what passes for proper grammar here in the U.S.

[thimios41]

shotguns??? like guns that fire shots oahaoaohaoahaaoaho lol

[vdubcamper]

"I'd rather put my money on a three legged rocking horse" who ever wrote this shit should be knighted LMFA!!!!!!!

[SorceressDamia]

What's that?

It's me bren gun!

Don't touch him up, knock him out!

[politicaltheory]

OMG...Just watched for the third time, i think, and every time is like the first time! So freaking FUNNY!

Too bad this was Barry The Baptis last movie..

[MrRiverhudson]

the whole films just one amazing quote!!

[bensims201288]

CHEEKY BASTARD!!!

[Brizzelhound]

You went out six hours ago to buy a money counter and you come back with a semi-conscious Gloria and a bag of fertilizer.

 Alarm bells are ringing, Willie.

We grow copious amounts of ganja, yah? And you're carrying a wasted girl and a bag of fertilizer. You don't look like your average horti-fucking- culturalist! That's what I mean Willie.

absolute classic one of my all time favourite movies

[TheJellymonty]

"I asked you for a refreshing drink, wasn't expecting a fucking rain forest. You could fall in love with an Orangutan in that!"  HAHAHAHAHA

This is one of those movies where every word is beyond funny and every character is hilarious.

[thamastachief]

Chill, Winston!

[x360xGaming]

Georgieboy I got three:

Do you wanna sandwich bacon ?

So keep the fucking cage LOCKED!!!

What the fuck are you doing here??!!!

[georgieboygarfy72]

"SHIT IVE BEEN SHOT, i dont fucking believe this can everyone stop getting shot."

cracks me up every time.

"shot guns, what guns that fire shots??"

" oh you must be the brains here..."

"if the milk turns out to be sour, i aint the kind of pussy to drink it"

"oh there is one more thing, its been emotional"

bloomin' hilarious. especially the part when vinnie slams the guys head in the car door. :')

[nguyenimproved]

wtf? no dislikes :)

the ppl who like this movie are a class lot! i knew it!

[namesamie]

"Hello my son, d'you wanna lolly?"

"Piss off ya nonce!' LOL:').

[TheStonesQT93]

i love this movie, one of my favs. But i always wanted to hear the jokes the fellas were cracking in the van

[futurepredator111]

lol you just gotta love how protective big chris is of his son

[cons789]

illl find ya course you will swetheart ill find ya what u think this is fukin hide and seek?

[wellzbellzone]

no dislikes!! :D

[snapple6661]

best fucking comedy from england ever!!!! i pissed myself laughing when this came out. snatch was good, but this is so much better.

[littleniyah]

@snapple6661 No way, Snatch is miles and miles better. It's perfect. Too bad Guy Ritchie seems to have shot his bolt. Rockanrolla or whatever was bollocks

[pingubrain]

cos im not fucking laughing nicholaaas

[Shone2HoP]

one more thumb up for dildo! :D

[IrishPwntleman]

first video i've seen on youtube with 0 dislikes...and for good reason XD

[Furykidxxx]

- Armed, what do you mean, armed.... Armed with what?

- Ummm, bad breath, colorful language, feather duster, what do you think they gonna be armed with, you tit. ))

[electricbugaluu111]

wait aren't the two guy who are suppose to steal the shotguns from Australia,

i thought Australia was south of Europe???

[iG4M34FUN]

brother , mother any other sucker

[mrjoeington]

couursee you will sweett 'aart

[PARTICLEZXz]

lol

we got 100,000 pices of paper with the queens head on, will dat do

[PARTICLEZXz]

Cheeky Bastard

[shaunatkinson6370]

Big Chris telling Little Chris to watch his language. Brilliant

[QV999]

"Wasn't expecting a fucking rain forset!" LMAO XD

[fairydust83]

Chilll Winston! Epic Film!

[fairydust83]

Chilll Winston! Epic Film!

[TimMicallef1]

greatest movie of my fuckin life

[ozabobododo]

Where the fuck are they goin? Shift a piana? I fought this was meant to be a robbery.

"Not a bad idea there".

[derbigpr500]

This movie is hilarious. Proper british movie! If you like Snatch and Trainspotting youll like this one too.

[Toro953]

Charles... get the rifle out.. were being fucked

[KnightZ1987]

Woah Kenny! What ya doin?

I am trying to find out where they keep their money!

[RagingRaven88]

"Will everyone stop getting shot!"

Just awesome

[MrLimsky83]

The best quote for me was "You want me to put pantyhose...over my head?"

[veyronzondaf]

Absolute classic movie!

[GanjaPharmzor]

I think your nick the greek

[malot]

I wasn't expecting a fucking rainforest. You could fall in love with an orangutan in that.

[joelum123]

'Because im not fucking laughing Nico-larseee'

[sheepymovies]

@1.25 What song is that please? It was sampled in a Dutch song:)

[spino155]

Chill Winnstaan

[largey51]

i hate those fucking northern monkeys!

funny as shit

[TADGELL]

@largey51 i hate these fuckin southern fairies

[brinico75]

@largey51

vaz blackwood,,mint

[0salot]

they forgot "if you dont wanna be counting the fingers you aint got youd better get those guns. QUICK"

[epicvlas]

a masterpice !!!!!!!

[chrissygox4]

what song is that at the start of your video, its the jam?

[star83]

"Don't touch him up,knock him out"

[pyro2020]

That Includes Blasphemy as well Lmao

[FuckWorkdays]

15 inces is 40cm if anyone from a country with the metric system is wondering how long the dildo was that Hatchet-Harry was beating the man with

[lairdpenfold]

@FuckWorkdays if any one else wants to know its actually 38.1 cm

[FuckWorkdays]

@lairdpenfold sorry, my bad

[TehPwnage1337h4x0rz]

Eddie has to be the best.

[illidianasad]

its been emotional!!!!

[ThePseudoBasher]

Ass ticklers faggot fanclub!!

[vanillafuxxdeluxe]

I wasn't expecting a fucking rainforest. You could fall in love with an orangutan in there =D LOOOOL

[TheBtmurphy]

Nick Moran is fuckinn gorgeous like but so is little chris xxxxxxx

[dahead99]

legendary Film!!

[DUDEplayer69]

"its me bren gun!"

[KX5Kat]

You forgot my favourite quote

"Excuse me, can you turn that T.V down?"

"............No"

"OOOOOOOOO"

To this day whenever one of my friendis stressed we always say &quo