Call of Duty: Black Ops: Chuck Norris Jokes and Awesome Packages by SSundee (BO Gameplay/Commentary)

[MrPedifil3d]

there is no theory of evolution... just a list of creatures chuck norris has allowed to live

[3rdViper]

Chuck norris spawn traps on search and destroy

[CODMW3Snipe]

i had dogs on the roof

[FunkyDickPickle]

I like how there was a chuck norris add playing

[angel316faze]

Chuck Norris is flying the blackbird and thats why it can not be shot down

[SOGxPROxLEADER]

@angel316faze FAIL

[sporkia32]

kids look under there bed for the booige man the boogie man looks under his bed for chuck norris

[4ntusH]

@XDegallaProductionsX that is wrong facts

[MrRyanCraft]

-Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.

-There used to be a street called Chuck Norris but it was renamed because anybody who crossed him didn't survive.

-He once kicked a horse in the chin. All it's decendands are known as Girrafes.

-He can light a fire by rubbing two ice cubes together

-Chuck Norris doesn't wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.

-Chuck Norris doesn't turn on the light, he turns off the dark

[phantomghost110]

when chuck norris farts,he causes a tsunami

[TheJosephJinx]

Chuck Norris can watch the 24 Hour Nyan Cat twice a day

[k1ssmyassproductions]

When chuck norris drinks milk. His bones dont get stronger, the milk does

[DustyRogers158]

only Chuck Norris can stop the DFS sale. (British joke)

[slentzz]

When Alexander Bell invented the telephone he had 3 missed calls from Chuck Norris

[slentzz]

chuck norris lost his virginity before his dad did

[mamilolu]

Death once had a neer-Chuck Norris expirence

Chuck Norris attacks sharks when he smells them bleed

Chuck Norris invented rap when his heart started beating

Chuck Norris doesn't do push ups he pushes the world down (also earthquakes are caused when chuck norris works out)

Chuck Norris cna udnestnda hsti prfetlcy

[laughaholic987]

@XDegallaProductionsX it's march 10th 1940 nub

[Scrapdog55]

@laughaholic987 says the when who "googled it"

[JJwisconsinbadgers]

Chuck Norris once urinated in a semi truck's gas tank as a joke....that truck is now known as Optimus Prime.

[awesomeman1250]

when Chuck Norris uppercutted a horse giraffes were made

[Sandett]

Jesus can walk on water, but Chuck Norris can swim through land!

[fusionsoccer70]

@XDegallaProductionsX Chuck norris' birthday is march 10, same birthday as me

[XxLiiDsHoTxX]

Chuck Norris is so Chuck Norris, he CAN believe its not butter! OHH

[TheMineCraft100]

Jesus Walks On Water,

Chuck Norris swims on land.

[SpAwNtheGaMeR]

@XDegallaProductionsX 10th March 1940 actually

[xspiderx88]

chuck norris' hand is the only hand that can beat a royal flush

chuck norris frequently donates blood just never his own

[DEATH2B0TS]

@xspiderx88  nice poster bro

[xspiderx88]

chuck norris can drown a fish

[jrpeweed245]

u should add me my gamer tag is jrpeweed245

[alijador]

chuck norris doesnt believe in god, god believes in chuck norris

chuck norris uses a night light not because he is afraid of darkness, darkness is afraid of chuck norris

[Xx41DEE41xX]

Chuck norris can kill two stones with one bird.

[BDUHBOB1]

F blue waffles lets go buy the BLUE BALLS!

[ThePalmaProject]

I like the little smiley face with the microphone thingie haha

[oGgamerz]

Chuck Norris dose not have a control button on his keyborad,remember chuck norris is always in control

[oGgamerz]

Chuck norris dosent do push ups he pushes the earth down

[HappyPrograms]

Chuck Norris died 20 years ago death doesn't have what it takes to tell him

[HappyPrograms]

Chuck Norris alowes you to lose

[gleftog]

God chose to call himself god because Chuck Norris was already taken

[zdf46]

chuck norris doesn't check his closet for the boogey man.... the boogey man checks his closet for chuck norris.

Chuck Norris can drown a fish

chuck norris killed two birds by throwing one rock

chuck norris counted to infinity....twice

[awesomenessevan]

is this on steam?

[LEEGRAHAM1231]

wats ur psn name

[UNSCODST13]

one time Chuck Norris was taking a piss off of the empire state building and some of it landed on some ppls heads, they are now known as Spartan 117, Solid Snake, and Duke Nukem.

[psyrodiiI]

Chuck Norris doesnt kill zombies, zombies kill themselves

[superzorro01134]

What are Nun chucks? Nuns with chuck norrises face on them

[TheMspacmann]

Mr. T once beat Chuck Norris in a game of tic-tac-toe, in retaliation, Chuck invented racism

[ishotudead]

u call urself a free man but chuck is everyone master

[ROFLProductions1000]

u getting attack dogs in that care package reminded me of somethin,  somethin i did on black ops that was funny...

[zae999COD]

Chuck Norris doesent sleep he hibernates.

He also got that joke and understood

[idontfingcare89]

how does chuck norris flush the toilet .... he scares the shit out of it

[MrChampion107]

When Chuck Norris pours milk in his Rice Crispies, they shut the fuck up

[deadspace181]

chuck norris has the greatest poker face of all time.he won the 1983 world series despite holding a get out of jail free card,2 of clubs,7 of spades,and a #4 green card from the game uno!!!

[santagotback101]

Chuck Norris only masturbates to pictures of Chuck Norris.

[raptorattack1250]

when you go to sleep you look under the bed for the boogy monster but when the boogey man goes to sleep he looks for chuck norris

[bb32guns]

the only joy of waking up n the morning is knowing chuck norris didnt kill you in your sleep

[SuperCorndog10]

chuck norris CAN believe its not butter.

[chiscolbert0912]

chuck beat a brick wall in tennis

[CakeDuck112]

chuck norris can build a gigantic dragon out of all different blocks (eaven doors!) by staring at a piece of dirt

[snuzul]

Darth vader took one of chuch norris' testicles and called it the death star

[snuzul]

Darth Vader took one of Chuck Norris' testicles and called it the deathstar

[pronomerzy]

haha i know when you watch your gameplay in theater its not like when you plays :/



[pronomerzy]

i didnt know that you play at PS3 :)

[shayne987654]

If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.

[GameGuy2413]

When chuck norris gives u the middle finger that how many seconds you have to live

[MrNative50]

@unloquable1 and walk on water..?

[bazz1997]

The highest killstreak in MW2 shouldn't be Tactical Nuke, it should be Chuck Norris

[MrHaxman123]

The reason Chuck Norris is invincible is because when he goes to heaven when he dies (or hell) God (or Satan) doesn't want him taking over so they send him back to Earth.

[arcille969686]

when chuck norris caps a flag its a auto win for you

if chuck norris gets a kill in tdm its worth 7500

[ruds456]

chuck norris doesn't use a comdum cause theres no such thig as protection from chuck norris

[mdw2626]

your momma so stupid she got locked in a matress store and slept on the floor

[chuggaNCSfan]

@mdw2626 um dude that is not a chuck norris joke that is an insult chuck norris jokes are like this "chuck norris can walk on water and swim through land" and "chuck norris can stare master chief and master chief goes he took my rolflcopter and he just stared at me chuck norris :OLOOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL (made by me)"

[mdw2626]

your momma so stupid she got locked in a matress store and slept on the floor

[HaloJonas182]

Giraffes were created when Chuck Norris did a roundhouse on a Horse

[RHadley23]

If a Chuck Norris rroundhouse kick misses you, then the sudden rush of air will rip your face of. And Chuck Norris can kick you in the back of the face

[RHadley23]

If, in the unlik

[TBDsPs3]

Chuck Norris is the reason Osama Bin Laden died. Reports said that he had recently returned from pakistan

[kingreaper247]

chuck norris is immune to condoms because theirs no being safe from chuck norris.

[16twinlord]

Chuck Norris threw away the periodic table bacause the element he knew was the element of surprise!

[turion010]

HAHA this new mic makes your voice sound like you're horny :P

[slimChedeh]

chuck norris dont roundhouse kick you into the sun, he roundhouse kicks the sun unti you!

[austing458]

Chuck Norris can blow bubbles with beef jerky.

[sXChimicXs]

You're like BlameThruth but in less serious. Both are good, but i prefer you ;) ( i like you too Blame ;P )

[butterra01]

@XDegallaProductionsX The thing is... Germany never surrendered to America, they surrendered to Russia and England, also your war was with Japan, not Germany.

[xSniPeRxVip3r]

Chuck Norris can get triple when play 1v1 :)

[Danishdude12]

Chuck norris was once bit by a cobra, after 1 day of excrusiating pain, the cobra died.

[DzehhHD]

Chuck Norris went to the virgin islands.

When he came back it was just the islands.

[druxfilms]

Chuck Norris doesn't write book. The words ensemble themselves out of fear.

Chuck Norris had a kidney stone once, when it passed it later became known as "the moon"

The WW2 Bombs dropped on Japan were defective. turns out Chuck Norris took a laxative while on vacation.

Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the ocean to flood japan.

How many Chuck Norrises could Chuck Norris chuck if Chuck Norris could chuck Chuck Norrises?

Chuck Norris has counted to infinity, Twice...

[Dinosawrroflcopter]

Chuck Norris killed two stones with a bird.

[XxHitboyxX197]

You kill chuck norris..NOO Chuck norris kill you!

[callmetom54]

Chuck Norris round house kicked a guy so hard it went back in time and hit Amelia Earnhart

[tbraid397]

In soviet russia chuck Norris can eat cake but not in Germany!

[adans20]

OMG, Chuck Norris died ten years ago, but the Grin Reaper can´t get up the courage to tell him.

[andreasvik1888]

There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard, there's only another fist!

[NWAsniper18]

is a turtle beach good for commentarys.....chuck norris fucking eats noob tubes with naplam and round houses second chance bitches

[lillyboo30]

u should add me psn:cdrtyler o and chuck norris destroyed the periodic table of elements bcuz the only element he knows is the element of surprise.

chuck norris once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. they made him blink

Chuck Norris's hand is the only one that can beat a royal flush

[somecrazypeople27]

Chuck Norris can suffocate a pillow with a man.

What do you call the biography of Chuck Norris? the guinness book of world records

Chuck Norris CAN believe its not butter

Little kids sleep with a teddy bear. Chuck Norris sleeps with an actual bear

Chuck Norris knifes people with a SPAS-12

When Chuck Norris had sex with a man, it wasn't because he's gay. It's because he has ran out of women

Chuck Norris can make wood by rubbing fire together

Chuck Norris can divide by zero

[kylebike128]

chuck Noris plays black ops you just can't see him

[SomeDudes455]

Chuck Norris can run away from his own shadow

[dEfENdEr998]

Who's Chuck Norris ?

[brottymon]

@dEfENdEr998 WHAT?! NON-BELIEVER!

[dEfENdEr998]

@brottymon lol

[edgars112221]

@dEfENdEr998

Hes just some one whos going to kill you becaus you dont know who is he!

Ouz nuz hes cooming RUN RUN RUN!

[williamburrus3]

Chuck Norris is the last # of pi. He is the end of all things

Chuck Norris can strangle u with a cell phone

Chuck Norris doesnt turn the lights on he turns the dark off

Chick Norris can delete the recycling bin

Chuck Norris is fuckin amazing. XD XD XD XD XD XD XD XD XD

[williamburrus3]

Chick Norris once peed in a can. The drink is now called red bull

[williamburrus3]

Chuck Norris fertilizes his grass with emo children so that it cuts itself

[williamburrus3]

Chuck Norris can light ants on fire with a magnifying glass……at night

[TheKillerDoom]

who is chuck norris

[nickolau59309]

@TheKillerDoom fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail look it up fail fail fail failfail fail fail fail fail fail

[No0bTaRt]

Chuck Norris can speak brail

[ONLYPSNXBL]

HITLER FOUND OUT CHUCK NORRIS WAS A JEW AND KILLED HIM SELF

[paokthes]

The guy who invented the telephone ,just went he finished it he saw he had a miss call from Chuck Norris.

[12DARKSTAR34]

Chuck Norris can cut through a hot knife with butter



[weeagona]

When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

[syfpsy]

duke nukem is bigger than chuck norris anyways

[kebabica]

WHAAT!!!! some hacker killed me across the map no-scope!!!! ill report on... wait that was chuck norris......

[gartios11]

@kebabica lol

[ReBeLxHD]

Chuck Norris doesn't wear a Condom because there's no protection from Chuck Norris!

[ReBeLxHD]

Chuck Norris doesn't mow his lawn, he simply stares at it and dares it to grow!

[MrWatthefudgecakes]

2 + 2 EQUALED to 4.. but when mathmatics was introduced to Chuck Norris by a hot teacher, he forced the problem into 2+2 = those big ass mother fucken titties

[rpgmaster113]

chuck doesn't teabag, he potatoe sacks...

[AllBranBudsGaming]

Jesus can walk water chuck noris can swim through land.

[azzykid1]

if you have a dollar and chuck Norris has a dollar chuck Norris has more money than you

[Heylookitsthebobster]

When chuck norris looks into a mirror theres no reflection cause there can only be one chuck norris

[xXxwidzumxXx]

@Heylookitsthebobster loool i like that one! nice one

[sickdog2010]

There was another sequel to Aliens verses Predators, Aliens & Predators verses Chuck Norris. But people complained saying they didn't wanna see an 18 second long movie

[satansmask]

chuck norris once peed in a semi trucks gas tank as a joke...that truck is now known as optimus prime

[XxHALOxX425]

FARMVILLIE

[shayne987654]

Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

Chuck Norris can eat just one Lay's potato chip.

[miciso666]

@shayne987654 u mean pringles chip those r addicting :D

[zarpthunder]

If Chuck Norris says hes goin out for Mexican tonight check your house maid

[gaminghelpguide]

Chuck norris was born on the 1st of may 1945. The nazis surrended on may 2nd 1945. Coincidence? i dont think so

[zdgsg43]

Everybody's telling that in the year of 2012 will be the end of the world but they're wrong cuz Chuck Norris at the year of 2013 has bussines.

[PS3playerDidier337]

did you know chuck norris dosent try survive zombies.......the zombie try to survive chuck norris

[callofdutywatcher]

@PS3playerDidier337 haha good one.

[twilightmaniac111]

Chuck Norris found Waldo... In a Harry Potter book...

[twilightmaniac111]

chuck norris doesnt get frostbite, he bites frost

[MrZeBifana]

After the giant tsunami, chuck norris promised to never whash his bathing shorts in the ocean again

[MrZeBifana]

when chuck norris goes to the shower, he doesnt turn on the water, he stares at the shower until it crys

[HEADSH0Tforthewin]

Chuck norris won the game.

[tacoskaterman]

Chuck Noris is so cool he msde his own jokes

[piesword]

Chuck norris doesn't lick his envelope he stares at them and they wet themself

[TOnyTond]

Chuck Norris trained Mr. Miyagi

[ovyshow8]

Chuck norris's wife burnt the turkey on thanksgiving so chuck went out and shot a wild turkey and when he cam back he ate it whole... He then shat out a perfectly cooked turkey with stuffing and mashed potatos on the side... His wife asked how he did it so he round house kickd her in the face and said noone questions chuck norris!!

[ovyshow8]

Chuck norris doesnt go hunting..., hunting implies failure! Chuck norris goes killin

[TheRobertMillerShow]

this arent jokes, they are facts

[thekooldude26]

i got dogs in a care package then the game endend

[allisgoodguy]

every year on his birthday chuck norris round house kicks a baby into the sun.

[389sonicman]

Chuck norris walks into a bar. Theres a jar of money on the counter.

He asks the bartender "whats the money for?"

the bartender replies "we have an elephant out back and whoever can make him laugh wins it."

Chuck walks about back and when he comes back the elephant was laughing histericly.

A few months later he returns to the same bar and another jar of money is there.

Chuck asks "whats that one for?"

Bartender says " if you can make the elephant cry than you can get the money."

Chuck ...

[389sonicman]

@389sonicman Walks out back and soon the elephant is crying.

the bartender gives him the money and says "So howd you do it?

Chuck replies "First i told him my dick was bigger than his the 2nd time i showed him.

[ultamategamerr1]

chuck norris played russian rullet with a fully loded gun ......... and won

[polmodotcom]

Jesus cam walk on water,

chuck Norris can swim through land.

Jesus can turn water in to wine,

chuck Norris can turn sand into crack.......

imagine him at a beach

[Morgothlord47]

If Chuck Norris dies the whole essence of the universe explodes of pure shock

[leafninja124]

Chuck Norris speaks French...IN RUSSIAN

Chuck Norris can beat Through the Fire and Flames with a roundhouse kick

Call of Duty is based on Chuck Norris' high school days

Chuck Norris doesn't beat around the bush, he beats the shit out of it

Chuck Norris can leav a message before the beep

On Chuck Norris' birthday he chooses one lucky child to throw into the sun

Chuck Norris found a way to make his penis 10 ft long. When other men found out his response was "I folded it in half"

[tehdude15]

Chuck Norris doesn't mow his lawn, he dares it to grow.

[jadfares96]

@tehdude15 HAHAHA

[airsoftplayer412]

the boogyman checks his closet every night for chuck norris

[dogtagslol]

chuch Norris once sold eBay to eBay on eBay

[jairenwasy]

they tryed to make chuck norris toilet paper but it wouldnt take shit from anybody

[TheChinnyman]

chuck norris once had sex in a truck and some of his sperm got into the engine. we now know this truck as optimus prime.

[MightyKesler17]

chuck norris kicked the wet out of water

[TheRomZon]

CHUCK NORRIS HAS COUNTED TO INFINITY..........INFINITY TIMES

[MrThesupermaster56]

Chuck Norris' Tears can cure cancer.......

Too Bad he's never cried

[devilpup1998]

when chuck norris does push-ups he doesnt push up he pushes the earth down

[TGM1001]

Chuck Norris doesn't read books, he stares them down until he gets the information he wants

[DaLiCHew]

Death had a near-chuck-norris experience.

[cmac723]

Chuck Norris counted to infinniti... Twice

[702sk8r]

chuck norris onced sued burger king because he wanted bared wire on his whopper insisting that it was his way.

[Ultramanfan14]

chuck norris can divide by zero.