Re: TAG atheist joke

[bimmjim]

There are at least 2000 different religions in the world. Variously, they worship rats, cows, monkeys or a big rock. Can I worship a monkey on a rock rather than a man on a stick?

(I wrote this and I think it is good enough to sell but I don't know how get money for writing jokes.)

[bimmjim]

Jokes should be quick.

Benny Hinn and Ted Haggard walk into a bar and the bar tender says: "Get the fuck outa here."

[Largo64]

BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! I like that one.

[canibalgofer]

Did you hear about the dyslexic atheist? He didn't believe in Dog.

[searenee]

The joke fell flat but your voices were great.

[DreamwaIker]

Wow... I sure hope you used to be better at joke telling, otherwise your old jokes must've made the record book for worst jokes ever.

[damillionmalania]

Love your videos, but this was the worst joke I've heard in months. XD Good try though, probably made some other people laugh. :D

[mikejlowe]

That was a terrible joke but full points for the effort and impersonations, the boy with the speech impediment sounded a bit like gollum from lord of the rings haha.

[XxThaReaper80xX]

HAHA nice one.

[smalltownatheist]

Oh, a YouTube tag.

I thought this was going to be a video about the Transcendental Argument for God and how it's a joke.

[NewBrazdolph]

hahaha, i faved it for your interpretion of Mr.Jones! AND..because you´re this touchable hottie, unlike that king heathen deity.

[AdultAlchemist]

Hi Largo - I like your vids, but I wish that you would fix the sound on them - I find the distortion too much - your mic input is turned up too much somewhere...

[Largo64]

I've noticed that, too. It only happens on direct uploads, though. The mic is built into my iMAC. I don't even know where it is. I'll see if I can turn the volume down a skosh next time.

[AdultAlchemist]

There may be a record level or mic volume somewhere in the software...... i'm not a mac person, so i can't tell you where to look.

The trouble with having worked in audio is that i got picky about sound quality...........sorry!

[FordPrefect23]

Built in mic's are often not much good, even a cheap external mic would likely be better, I know it is when comparing the external mic I got with my iRiver with the mic on my Dell laptop.

[Largo64]

When I use iMovie I don't have that problem because, even though I use the built in mic, I can control the output. Problem is, I'm running out of computer memory and the iMovie doesn't want to work anymore. Sadly, unless I win the lotto or something, I can't afford more memory.

[FordPrefect23]

The wonders of being a pensioner in the land of the free I guess. All those years of hard work and paid taxes and they reward you with near destitution. I hope computer trouble doesn't ever take you down!

[Largo64]

Well, I'm not exactly on the street. But pretty much every dime is earmarked. I do okay.

[Handzoffire]

Well with that comment im sure your geting one sent in the mail as i tipe.

[Largo64]

One what? Nobody out there has my address . . . or at least they shouldn't. ;^)

[FordPrefect23]

What's the difference between a woman in the bath and a woman in church?

One has a soul full of hope.

2 Nuns are riding on bicycles to the convent, one nun says, I know a short cut, follow me. So they start down a rough cobbled street and part way down, the second nun says, "I think I've come this way before!"

What's white and drips from clouds?

The coming of the lord!

[SirPwn4lot]

That was absolutely TERRIBLE hehe

[MattHunX]

hey...that was looong, but funny at the end. LOL.

[bersaba]

Larry, I respect you, I like your views, I like your videos, and what not.

But that joke was terrible.

[defect530]

PS i would not mind if you removed my joke it is pretty bad

[defect530]

how do you get a nun pregnant...?

dress her up as an alter boy :)

[bersaba]

Defect530, I just damn near pissed my pants at that joke.

[MrJoeCage]

a man is in dire financial trouble and he's down to praying to god.... he says "Lord, I know that eternity here on earth is like one minute to you, but, Lord, i need your help now, if you'd just make me rich, just make me rich."

and amazingly a voice answered back from the void, the voice of God.....

"In a minute."

[Largo64]

That's a good one. I'll have to remember that for future reference.

[Katalyzt]

Hahahahahahahahaha!!! ★★★★★

[bowlingballout]

1:10 sounds like you said a version of "god's" name

XD

----

[maciolek1980]

always think it's funny to turn the table on religious peddler.

[OccamKant]

I kind a feel stupid - I don't get the joke

[arrogantgodjealous]

the joke is that it didn't work, god didn't help them.

[OccamKant]

Ah. Colour me stupid. lol.

;)

[phlemdog]

you did just fine, I was holding my sides I was laughing so hard.

[sushiyama1]

Not bad.

[dewonthegrass]

You are quite an actor!

[hellshade2]

One beautiful Sunday morning, a priest announced to his congregation: "My good people, I have here in my hands three sermons...a $100 sermon that lasts five minutes, a $50 sermon that lasts fifteen minutes, and a $10 sermon that lasts a full hour. "Now, we'll take the collection and see which one I'll deliver."

[Largo64]

I love it!!

[DavidRandallCurtis]

Oh you Godless heathen! Two tags now! Why I oughta... ;P

-----just give me a few days and a few more bottles of rum and I'll come up with something! 5*

[Largo64]

I'm too broke for one bottle of rum, much less "a few." How about thirty men on a dead man's chest? Yo ho ho!!!

[onlywhenprovoked]

LOL

i so have to post my previous "atheist joke" as a response to this, i hope you don't mind :)

[Largo64]

Post away!

[AncientAtheist]

Thanks for elucidating so nicely the rules and reasons for the tag. And I'd say the joke definitely qualifies! Anything anti-religious fits in quite nicely, don't you think?

[rednecktrucker1969]

lmao, nice one Largo

[Vogter2100]

ROTFL

[artemisfair]

Haha, very entertaining. :)