Rifftrax - Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets - Interesting Ending Credits

[TerranRich]

Yeah, I thought this was added to the synched version I downloaded by the person who compiled it (added the Rifftrax to the audio of the movie itself), so I didn't think much of it. But to know this was part of the actual Rifftrax audio file... really, Nelson?

[csgrambauer2]

What a whole lot of crap. Going to make children go out and become witches and wizards. Oh my fucking goodness. xD

[shadow102811]

If I were a teacher during all this I would be like "parents, your choice, Harry Potter or Harry Dresden. One is about a satanist 11 year old, the other has sex, violence, gore, summoning demons, and a perverted skull."

[lsoshow2]

I'm a christian and Harry Potter is a christian allegory. He is the chosen one (like Jesus) and he has to fight Voldemort (who is basically Satan). He dies for everyone else's sins. I hate people who say it's wrong.

[Sheldonwh]

The reason for the ending is that Michael J. Nelson is a fundamentalist Christian. As a fundie, he likely felt the need to include all this pathetic nonsense about how our kids are being indoctrinated by the Harry Potter series into witchcraft and the occult. Well I got news for ya, Nelson...there's no such thing as god, and there's no such thing as witches or the devil. So go waste your time and money some other way. Or watch football on Sundays like a normal man.

[shadow102811]

@Sheldonwh I don't know what country you live in but here in America we have the right to believe what we want

[LliamSantino]

@Sheldonwh just because he's a religious Christian doesn't mean that he believes in witchcraft.

[CorrClarkson]

Wow, misinformation much? Were these interviews for real?

Let's mix up 30% of what is in the book with 40% what we think is in the book and another 30% of misinterpretation of the book, add some unrelated cause and effect forced together, and call it fact.

Now we can blame JK Rowling & co. for rule 34 of the internet, the fear of failing as a parent and our general frustration at being unable to control the minds of others.

It's so liberating to find the devil's crew of the 2000's!

[extremeXjapanophile]

Oh my god.

Dear Christian bigots, GO FUCK YOURSELVES AND THEN DIE. Or better yet, I'll just use one of the spells I learned in Harry Potter to kill you myself, because magic in this form is completely REAL.

Give me a break.

[HiveOfHappenings]

I don't blame their beliefs, I blame the fact that the poor kids were born in America.

[Racheltheburniator29]

I wanna slap though bitches so bad. "rolling eyes all through" blahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh­hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh­hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! "throwing up loudly". can I go to though camps and tell though bitches to fuck off. Pardon my language but so people have their heads so far up their asses that they can see that what they are saying is a big load of crap.

[Racheltheburniator29]

LET ME MAKE ONE THING CLEAR YOU TIGHT WAD OLD CHRISTIANS. THEY ARE BOOK MEANT FOR ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY. AND LET ME NOT STRESS THIS ENOUGH ENTERTAINMENT. SOME PEOPLE CAN'T SEE PAST THEIR OWN NOSES TO SEE THAT THEY ARE JUST HARMLESS ENJOYABLE READING MATERIALS FOR KIDS TO ACTUALLY READ. I bet you that these people have probably never even read any of the books at all. YOU CAN'T SAY CRAP ABOUT SOMETHING WITHOUT FIRST TRYING IT. I'm done.

[Racheltheburniator29]

This is just a big old pile of steaming cow crap. Um You think Harry Potter is bad, but God can't do no wrong. God killed thousands of people while Harry only killed one person who was evil and killing people for no good reason. I'm sorry but if you compare God to Harry Potter, God is just 100 times worse. The only reason they say this is because they are a bunch of tight wad Christians who only care that people see it their way and that their way is the right way and know one else.

[hall9111]

Who let that last woman near children, and why is she not commited?

[SupernaturalBaby08]

That was...disturbing...and also WTF. People think they know everything, don't they? And if they think something's right about God, it HAS to be true, right? Oh, and I've got a question, what did Harry Potter steal for? To stop the petrifications and potential murders of several other children, that's what.

[ebrach121]

Um this was why I wasn't allowed to enjoy Harry Potter until I turned twenty and my mom still grumbled about it.

I see the witchcraft like I did in LOTR. A fantasy tool... I'm not worshiping Harry... I'm escaping...

[Jowain92]

I googled Harry Potter.

All I found was fandom sites, fanart and halloween costumes...

Whered the FUCK IS MY PORN!?

[Cpt50Caliber]

What.....what....WHAT??

ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS????

[gentlerat]

Yeah, wiccans really need training to sit around in circles and talk about how much they love knitting and trees (;

[mermaidBeth]

THAT IS SHIT THAT PEOPLE BELIEVE THAT HARRY POTTER IS A BAD INFLUENCE ON CHILDREN AND THAT IT TELLS THEM TO BECOME WITCHES OR WHAT EVER BUT IT'S NOT TRUE!!! IT MAKES ME SICK TO HEAR THAT SHIT THEY WHERE SAYING!!!

[SickBritKid]

Is there a "Best Of" video for the entire movie anywhere?

[SickBritKid]

This would've been MORE awesome if the Rifftrax guys had riffed on that hairbrained report, too.

Would I be surprised if that report was done by Fox News? No, I wouldn't. And I'm a FAN of Fox News!!

[deathrooster14]

@SickBritKid Meh, I just like Glenn Beck because he makes some interesting points. When he left, I had no reason to watch Fox News anymore.

[SickBritKid]

@deathrooster14

I prefer O'Reilly, personally.

[deathrooster14]

@SickBritKid You can't explain that. LOL xD

[SickBritKid]

@deathrooster14

Better than the insanity Glenn Beck spews out, especially nowadays. Like when he proclaimed those kids killed in Sweden to be like "Hitler Youth."

[deathrooster14]

@SickBritKid It's all good I'm just kiddin. But yea that was out of line.

[SickBritKid]

@deathrooster14

Ah. Hard to tell with the internets...

[TheUnofficialNinja]

HEY GUYS, I'M GONNA GO FIND A UNICORN, PLUCK A HAIR, WHITTLE A HAWTHORN BRANCH INTO A SMOOTH 10 INCH STICK, AND IMBUE THE STICK WITH THE HAIR SO I CAN MAKE FEATHERS FLOAT AND TURN MYSELF INTO A HAWK.

What the shit.

[tarastronglover]

Adults need to stop and see that their children will be exposed to this one way or another and need to be. What better way then a book in my opinion!

Btw I typed in harry potter on google.. I didn't find any porn.

[axonn622]

@1:25 Evil? Death? Lack of respect for human life? Unless your kid live's in Peewee's playhouse, he'll see all those things in due time, lady....

[KristiChan1]

And yet having said that, I'm going to completely turn around and also say that Christians can be decent wonderful people; what we just heard was the rotten side of Christianity. I have a couple of friends who are Christian and they are very good people; they love their god and they are completely relaxed and comfortable with other beliefs even if they do not agree with it. There are Christians out there who, without judgement, help the needy and give to the community.

[KristiChan1]

2:14-7:09

Hello pot, my name is kettle.

Seriously, most (if not all), of what she described is what Christians do with their religion: They publish many books to encourage kids to believe in God and that he has powers; they have schools for it; they practice it; they repackage it to make it seem different and new; they teach how to preform prayers...damnit the list goes on.

[masterermac]

Oh Christians, we so funny.

[LliamSantino]

I've tried some of the spells on Harry Potter... Alohamora doesn't work on safes...

[NCOCSRemix]

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha­hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha­hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha­hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha­hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha­hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha­hahahzahaahahahahahahahahahaha­hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha­hahahahaahahahahahahahahahahah­ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah­ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah­ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah­ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah­ahahaahahahahahahahahahahahaha­hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha­hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha­hahahahahahahaha lol

[werewolf873]

so harry potter is witchcraft and moses parting the friggen red sea isnt and for that matter isnt jesus coming back to life necromancy?

[Jowain92]

@werewolf873 I think there is a passage about killing first borns in the bible somewhere...

[randonimity]

You can find pornography on the internet whether you want it or not.  This is not something exclusive to Harry Potter you delusional, paranoid old git.

[pkmn7777777]

well they are gonna be PISSED about pottermore...

[1SaG]

OMG!! Witches, witches everywhere, I tells ya!

Well, guess it's time to dust off the old Malleus Maleficarum ... where's the Spanish Inquisition when you need them?

[BlueMoonsLight]

@1SaG The Spanish Inquisition will come when no one expects them. :)

[BigMaij]

@BlueMoonsLight

NOBODY EXPECTS THE SPANISH INQUISITION!

[PidsTube]

Pornography? wtf

[Chupacabrathe2nd]

Oh, I cracked up when the Anglo bitch implied Harry teaches anarchy. He breaks the rules because they're keeping him from saving the fuckin' world from the wizard equivalent of Darth Sidious. Hell, much of the same things these people complain about apply to jedi as well (Devote your life to a cold, emotionless dogma and practice telekinesis by communing with a magic energy field) and yet nobody bitches about Star Wars being unholy.

[Chupacabrathe2nd]

@BecomeMyNewCat Like Uncle Vernon used to say, "There's no such thing as magic!"

[kyu5533]

Oh no I am not saying here go those Christians again, I am saying here goes those paranoid idiots again trying to read some malicious intent into a book series that promotes courage, loyalty, overcoming adversity, and the triumph of good over evil. Get a life!

[mrcydonia]

Well, now that pretty much all the children of the world have become witches and wizards, I can't help but think that maybe we should have listened to these religious nutjobs.

[anemicroyaltea69]

To bring back great MST3K screams: "AAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!! SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"Turn it offfff....TURN IT OFF!!!!!!!!!!"

.....I hate...HATE when people screw up harmless things that can bring people of any age fun & imagination. I was 16 or so when the 1st movie came out andhad a HUGE group of friends that loved it....Oohh I'm really frustrated now, lol....I probably shouldn't have listened to this whole thing...some people really do know how to make the world SUCK!

[penguinsarebeast33]

I like how the lake how the crazy preacher woman's camp is at Devils lake, North Dekota. Absolutely hilarious! XD

[Blehhh49]

Jesus, it's just a god-damned book. I hate these type if over-reacting pricks that make the world a drag to live in.

I grew up with Harry Potter. I've only sacrificed 3 sheep, BIG FREAKING WHOOP.

[Lynxderww]

You know what is really interesting. I've read all the books and seen all but the part 2 of the last movie & Not once did I read about or saw a pentagram, which is the symbol of wicca & witchcraft. However, in the last book I did read when Harry was marking a grave for Mad Eye, he with his wand marked a CROSS in a tree. Not the Pentagram but a Cross, the symbol of Christianity.

[werewolf873]

@Lynxderww knowing the over-reacting christians they will probabley interpret the symbol of the hollows as the pentagram

[Taymix05]

BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA okay im done

AHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAAHAHAHAHAAHAH­AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA some people are just plain dumb.

[VeryAngryCamel]

ACCURATE portrayal of witchcraft.

ACCURATE. Really?

Even if magic WERE real, EAT SLUGS? Seriously? If some idiots think that's gonna work, by the time they are of an age when it might REMOTELY MATTER, then I think any kind of unhealthy interest in HP is a symptom not the cause of their problems.

[lemonTacos910]

jeez...would this happen if the book was about christians?

no- why the big deal????

[GKid51892]

jesus christ, its a fucking book.....

[NoelleLaBelle]

The children can go online and receive certificates proving they've gone through these witchcraft schools... right, when the parents don't pay ANY sort of attention to what they do.

Crazies like that make the rest of normal christians look bad. Yes, it looks back into the druids and blah, it also has CHRISTIAN metaphors and bloody GOOD morals..... and did I just hear her say it can lead to pornography?

Yes, because the porn industry doesn't parody EVERY huge title out there... Bloody hell.

[VeryAngryCamel]

@NoelleLaBelle To be fair, it HAS led to a lot of pornography, but only in a rule 34 kind of way. XD

[Lynxderww]

@NoelleLaBelle THANK YOU!! Even the Chronicles of Narnia have Christian metaphors. The Lion sacrifices himself to save lesser creatures then comes back. Hmmm, who that cud be similar to?- I'm a christian, whose christain mother had my bro & I read the CN & HP books. I never learned how to to witchcraft from HP. I learn the morals it taught. & Yeah, you can type randon thing in the "search" and Pop! There's porn. You cud type shoe, bottle, lamp, window, whatever & you still cant avoid it.

[ForceMaximus84]

So, what have we learned? That kids are stupid, parents are irresponsible and religious fanatics are crazy.

What else is new?

[MansonFan64]

Holy shit, the Jesus Camp lady. Jezuz fucking krist, how I want that woman dead.

[PoisonInc]

That last woman is frightening.

[wiltzandrew]

I did not add the ending. I was just as surprised as you possibly are.

[PunchSydeiron]

Is this real? Did Rifftrax actually do this or did you do this yourself?

Oh, and might I add: John Williams, Nooooo!

[haywood86]

I'm so gonna use my witchcraft (which I learned from Harry Potter by the way) to turn this chick into a big, gaping asshole that spouts shit all over while trying to sound intelligent...oops too late.

[EELClove98]

Hahaha oh, stupid people, what won't you complain about?

[Eldeecue]

Violence, death, lack of respect for human life?

Not like in the Bible.... oh no...NOT like in the Bible. No one dies in that.

[barbaro267]

@Eldeecue at least the Bible isn't a fictional series that tells kids, "hey witchcraft is cool! Yay for Satan!"

[Jowain92]

@barbaro267 At least Harry Potter is'nt telling people to kill every first born child when they don't get what they want.

[barbaro267]

@Jowain92 haha! good one! Well, there are reasons for death and pain in the Bible. Everywhere else, it's for reasons of supposed vengeance or acts of hatred. Not good enough reasons. Funny how people think they can judge punishments correctly....

[Jowain92]

@barbaro267 Actually, most actions taken by God involving the death of someone IS an act of vengance. No matter how small and stupid the so called "sin" is, God will punish them as he damn well pleases.

Heck he turned a woman into a statue of salt, for looking back at the destruction of Gomorrah! Maybe she was worried about some of the friends she made there, I don't know...

Hey wait a minute, was'nt there a case of incest according to Gods will in that very same story!?

[brokinwand92]

CAN SOMEONE PLEASE TELL THOSE PEOPLE IT"S JUST A F*CKING BOOK!!!!!!!!!!!!

[acciobooks19]

@brokinwand92 You just did. They won't listen.

[fallenvash]

Why the HECK did they not commentate on the news recording with that so called witchcraft expert, SOOOOOO much potential for hilarity.

'Witchcraft is being normalized for the first time...'

Where the heck was this broad during the DnD debates?

'And now if they type in Harry potter they get taken to pornography...'

Next week on self proclaimed experts, the president will be criticized for whitehouseDOTcom having a porn website.

[simpsonman956]

My advice to these idiots? Focus that time, money, and energy away from boycotting freakin CHILDREN'S BOOKS and start protesting and fighting, you know, IMPORTANT THINGS! For example, I hear human traficking and child prostitution are kinda a big problem. Why don't you write a few books against that? It really makes me angry when people like these feel freakin HARRY POTTER is this world's biggest menace.

[simpsonman956]

I gotta say, as both a Christian and a Harry Potter fan, I'm offended at these people's stuipidity. My parents read Harry Potter to me as a little kid and never ONCE did I think of doing magic for real because even an eight year old magic is MAKE BELIEVE! "Encourages witchcraft"? Are you serious? How can you encourage something that IS NOT POSSIBLE?! And to those that say it leads kids to the occult, let me ask you, if Harry Potter was a satanist, why did he mark Mad-Eye's grave with a CROSS?

[zowtie]

sean biggerstaff <3

[benzinhuhn]

SOMEBODY THINK OF THE CHILDREN

[legoindyshortround]

fucking Christians 

[glindaisabitch]

I think riffrax put this at the end because they thought it was funny xD and indeed, it is. Some religious people are seriously fucked up.

[donotfeedthetroll]

i think the people commenting on this video are madder than the christians who think harry potter is about human sacrifice...

[RoyalAssassin178]

You got to be shitting me! Harry Potter has much to do with witchcraft, paganism and wicca as MTV dose with music! This just further proves that society and religious zealots (*Cough* Christianity.) are fucking stupid and will say what ever raciest bull shit that comes out of they’re mouths. Just to make themselves look more and more righteous so they can continue to brainwash people and rape the world with they’re propaganda. Just as they have done in the past.

[greenmachine13]

What the hell this isn't Rifftrax

[sm2142]

XD holy crap...SERIOUSLY? People just can't see it as a FREAKING BOOK!

[Awesomesauce909]

These people are just stupid. It's a BOOK SERIES! Not some kind of messed up witchcraft, satanic cult, recruitment program. Just calm down, stop taking it so seriously.

[drcoxcentral]

Was this in the Rifftrax commentary? Or did you added this part in?

[MermaidGinnyGreen]

Oh, come on I was a witch before the books/movies. And I'm fine!

[TraitorHawkfrost101]

Holly shit people. Honestly, IT'S A FUCKING BOOK! Who gives a shit?!

[Acciosoad]

People like this make me laugh. Let's Avada Kedavra them all. LOL! Especially the last woman. Wow!

[000invalidusername00]

Why the hell is this woman speaking like magic is completely and totally REAL???

[luyzlla]

its RiffTraX that is eeeeeviL!

[LordAntWarrior]

ROFL those claiming Harry Potter is 'evil' are just religious maniacs.

[ZeroM80]

It scares me to no end that any one would trust there children with the last lady.

[southerlybeasties]

I've been inspired to become a witch now.

[abominableangel90]

WHAT. THE. HELL.

[mis4sasu]

The ladies sounds alot like that Professor Ambridge (sorry if I misspelled the name) I can see the kids now sitting in detention writing "I will not give in to Harry Potter" with their torture pens.

[dsSLAY3R]

This lady is talking about the "spread of witchcraft" as though magical powers actually exist.  It's adorable!

[mis4sasu]

@dsSLAY3R I hate to tell her that all web links lead to porn. duh

[surferdudette19]

@dsSLAY3R HaHAha! ^^

[DominoRoxYrSox]

@dsSLAY3R I think that's why I find this most disturbing. This lady is like "THIS SHIT'S REAL!"

[Armedus]

Oh those silly pundits. The occult can't be taught through an online course. You got to do it the old fashioned way: becoming a U.S. senator or working for Fox.

[McMiffles]

Ah, good ol' fashioned nightmare fuel!

[Kinemacolour]

I've heard Harry Potter supports universal healthcare too.

[ColourfulDud]

@Kinemacolour AND I've heard that Harry Potter ALSO supports liberal things, such as abortion!! Lol

[themishkin]

That's all sorts of messed up. Fuck these retarded religious zealots it's just a damn movie.

[mis4sasu]

@themishkin It kills me how people who claim the movie is evil and yet have not seen the movie themselves. How do you know what a character is doing or not doing if you have not seen the movie. I would be more worried about a kid who wants to be a rapper with a gun then a kid with a stick PRETENDING to do magic.

[Bonmot123]

Well thats... F**king deeply disturbing.

[wiltzandrew]

@Bonmot123 Tell me about it!

[NZLEthan]

@wiltzandrew Wait, was this a commentary or something?