Added: 4 years ago
From: RoyZimmerman
Views: 403,050
Sort by time | Sort by thread (beta)

Link to this comment:

Share to:
see all

All Comments (1,821)

Sign In or Sign Up now to post a comment!
  • I was raised Christian and I understand people who struggle with their sexuality, etc etc.

    But Ted Haggard repeatedly preached on hell damnation for homosexuals, then got caught sleeping with one.

    People in glass houses shouldn't throw stones.

    If you ask me, he had it coming and deserved everything he got. If, as a pastor, you struggle with a particular issue, the dumbest thing to do is stnd in a pulpit preaching against it, making others who struggle with it feel shamed and embarassed.

  • @spider23000 Well, I really don't understand how someone can "struggle" with their sexuality. Take a good look at it, you either like women, men, or both. Face it and accept it, otherwise your just lying to yourself, not struggling.

  • @JarethGT There's also asexuality: not being attracted to either.

  • @JarethGT I suppose when it's been fed to you your whole life that homosexuality is wrong, that if you're a boy your supposed to like girls and vice-versa and that one day you're going to marry a member of the opposite sex and have kids etc it could be quite difficult to come to terms with finding that you're different. You're not obeying the rules that you've been told are there and there's either two things to do - come out and face the music or hide. Ted hid.

  • ted is not gey. hes hetero whit issues

  • OMG I got no idea who Ted Haggard is or who this guy is either but this was fucking hilarious!

  • @bluffr22 Google is your friend, my friend.

  • @bluffr22 Ted Haggard was head of a large evangelical organization (can't remember which one at the moment) until 2007, when he was caught hiring a male escort under a pseudonym.

    After "ex-gay" counseling, Haggard claimed to be "cured" of Teh Gay, but later admitted he still struggles with unwanted homosexual urges.

  • This guy is clever, I like him.

  • he is completely heterosexual! really! *laugh* can't say that with a straight face.

  • Ted would like you all to know this story has a moral,

    and of all the televangelists his favorite is oral!

    Best lyrics ever!

  • lol! This is amazing. Why didn't I hear this years ago?

  • GLORY HOWHEBLEEEEWYA!! 

  • @TheSyrupMan halalubeya

  • Mick Foley, is going to be doing "Celebrity Wife Swap" next month. The person he's swapping with? Ted Haggard. Yes, Ted Haggard

  • glory how they lube ya

  • I couldn't stop laughing start to finish.

  • isn't the melody of this song in another song too?

  • I'm a Christian and I find this song brilliant. Ted Haggard was a stupid hypocrite - regularly preaching about how evil it is to be gay, making a lot of people feel like they were doing something terrible and would burn in hell for it, and all the time he was sleeping with a maseur.

    As far as I'm concerned he had it coming and it serves him right. Christianity should not be about judgement and condemnationl.

  • glory, how he blew ya

  • I don;t get the schism syllogism part. Can someone explain?

  • @JohnTraviss I think its a play on words. You know, how they're both a bit of a mouthfull...

  • @JohnTraviss What other word rhymes with schism, that could relate to Ted Haggard being gay? His audience picks it... but then he throws in a twist (using syllogism instead of jism). He's basically saying you may not believe the inferrence but in a way that is suggestive of saying 'swallow the jism'.

  • @747puppyfat Now that's helpful.

  • @JohnTraviss syllogism --> jizzem

  • This is genius!

  • It's extremely awkward getting this stuck in your head and accidentally singing in it in a religious school.

  • @TeeGeeFan Catholic?

  • @Irishflyboy255 Christian ;)

    But of course I'm an atheist :D

  • @TeeGeeFan I can't tell if that's a better or worse place to sing it, but well done, brother.

  • @Irishflyboy255 Sister* (all girls school)

    Either way, you still get some unwanted attention :D

  • You could say that Ted Haggard is as straight as the earth (seen from space)

    Certain Christians would say that it is in fact straight and flat, but everyone with a brain knows it's not.

  • notice the eerie absence of any christians explaining this laughable hypocrisy

  • "Glory how he blewya, Glory hole alluljah, Glory hallelube ya" Epic!

  • "You're right, but wait for it."

  • Do you know how embarrassing it is to get this song caught in your head, then get caught signing it out loud, word for word in the work environment?

  • Favorited at masturbation

  • He's as straight as a circle. Yes, but as long as it has finite circumference... Sorry.

  • Insert Rick Perry for Ted Haggard and you've brought this song right up to date!

  • Salvation is instantaneously, but transformation is a proces. Some overcome strongholds, some wrestle with them. I don't care what he did. i have his back because he is my brother. Period. I cover him while he wrestles with these issues. I cover him while he learns to overcome. I cover him just because God covered me. If you point fingers, God will shout your hidden struglles from the roof top. Be assured. I warn you...if you are a Christian. This man on the guitar is mocking.

  • @yoadrienneaz What passage of the Bible says "Thou Shalt Not Make Fun of Hypocrites"? Just curious. =D

  • @clyhiz There isn't one. In fact, making fun of hypocrites is encouraged in the Bible, IIRC.

  • @yoadrienneaz Ted Haggard is gay. There is nothing wrong with that. The only thing that says it's wrong is a book written thousands of years ago by a bunch of dessert people to create laws to fit what they see and attribute to an imaginary sky daddy because they didn't have the scientific knowledge to understand what was really going on. Now a bunch of power hungry, greedy bigots are using to religion to control people and severely mentally damage innocent people such as Mr. Haggard.

  • @JAB63096 I wish it was written by dessert people, then maybe it'd be tastier. And come with a free ice cream sundae!

  • @Topmonhit typo. Guess I double tapped the S. Dessert people sound WAY too qualified to write a holy book. That's at least three promotions below making desserts.

  • @yoadrienneaz I'll beat 'im too it! I'll shout 'em from the rooftop first!

    And then dump buckets of water on people as they pass by. Wee!

    The man in the guitar is mocking. It's what he does! ;o

  • @yoadrienneaz haha he would probably love it if you did cover him while he wrestled. Probably Greco-Roman style wrestling.

    And really? He's mocking? Did it take magic for you to figure that out?

  • @yoadrienneaz Oh, so because he shares the same ambiguous and outdated belief system as you that qualifies him for your unrelenting apologetics?

    Are you sure you're not Muslim?

  • @PhobicOne Hi, IslamophobicOne.

  • @sayyeddy Like you have any room to talk. How many holy wars have you faggots waged against the Muslims now?

  • @PhobicOne Uhhhhh . . . . None? I mean, we weren't even allowed in the army until recently.

  • @Sleepyhed1231 Sorry, I forgot God was weaker than the U.S. government.

  • @PhobicOne That's quite alright. We all make mistakes sometimes.

  • @yoadrienneaz Where in the bible does Jesus condemn homosexuals?

  • @yoadrienneaz "Let he who is without sin throw the first stone."

    You hypocrites are so much fun. You deserve mocking.

  • Hoping that someone digs up dirt on you, puts a song to it and posts it on Youtube. What goes around, comes around.

  • @yoadrienneaz Ted Haggard got what he had coming to him, and that includes mockery. Last I checked, Roy isn't a hypocritical charlatan swindling people out of their money.

  • @Aviii >ted haggard got what he had coming at him

    >got what he had coming at him

    >what he had coming at him

    >he had coming at him

    >coming at him

    >cum

  • @BrendanIsCool This isn't 4chan....

  • @Alphacaliber you shut your whore mouth

  • @BrendanIsCool more like BrendanIsNOTCool amirite?

  • @yoadrienneaz he didn't dig up dirt on Haggard, the male prostitute outed him. Roy probably doesn't have a negative view of homosexuality and possibly even prostitution, he's just pointing out the hypocrisy.

    and what goes around doesn't come around (except for Ted Haggard in this case)

  • @yoadrienneaz Addressing your older post: If Roy was gay I'm pretty sure he wouldn't be afraid to tell us because there's nothing inherently wrong with it.

  • Hey Roy, Phil Hinkle is completely heterosexual!

  • Roy....now we need this song done again, changing Ted Haggard to Rick Perry....just sayin..... ;-)

  • Wow!! The bible really is prophetic! Leviticus talking about polyester, and all...

  • Genius

  • Ha ha, multiple entendre!

  • i need the tabs to this lol

  • Hahaha there was an ad that came up on this video that said "want to become a pastor?". lol wrong audience

  • Comment removed

  • Fascism at its finest!

    Ernst Roehm would be proud.

  • @thomaserossi Fascism?

  • @gleehmee - You're never read "The Doctrine of Fascism" or "Mein Kampf." You've never read any of Ernst Roehm's Nazi tracts. You can pretend you understand fascism but you really don't know anything.

  • @thomaserossi you have no idea what I've read, you have no idea what I know and you have no idea what you're talking about evidently.

    I will repeat: "Fascism?"

    now I will explain my question: I am confused as to what in this video relates to that phenomenon.

    Please elaborate and don't make an assumption this time.

  • @thomaserossi Yes, because liberal satire is obviously fascist. Pft. Get some new material, jingo.

  • @LordBizarre112233 - "Jingo"

    Nice bumper-sticker slogan dip shit. You can put it right in between your "Hammer and Sickle" sticker and "Save Tibet" sticker.

  • @thomaserossi Lulz. Yeah, nice assumption. See, two can play at that extremely pointless game: where would you put it, between your Redneck Pride decal and your sticker of Calvin pissing on a truck logo? Grow up, little boy.

  • @LordBizarre112233 - You're too indoctrinated beyond stupid read. You've never read Mussolini, Hitler, Heidegger, or Roehm. You do like to posture. That's your indoctrination.

    So keep pretending. It has served you SO well. You can pretend forever. Lie to yourself. Better yet, so home and lie to your mom. But don't lie to me you racist piece of shit.

    Redneck is the new Jew of Liberal Fascism.

  • @thomaserossi Lmfao. 'Racist?' That's hysterical. Get your story straight, then come talk to the grown-ups.

    "You're too indoctrinated beyond stupid read"

    -Yes, incoherent statements like that are a sign of intelligence.

    How can posturing be my "indoctrination"? That doesn't even make fucking sense.

  • Marcus Bachmann is completely heterosexual as well...

  • @Sylocat He and Haggard are probably seeing each other. Who knows? They might even be doing threesomes with Fred Phelps!

  • Does anyone know if and where I can find the guitar chords to this song online?

  • Completely heterosexual! Honest!

  • Of course he put the men in a-MEN.

  • Pure genius.

  • "Born again, AGAIN" XD that line killed me.

  • "Hey Ted Haggard!"

    "Whuu??"

    "'You like fish sticks?!"

    "Yeah I like fish sticks"

    "'You like putting fish sticks in your mouth?!"

    "Yeah I LOVE putting fish sticks in my mouth!!"

    "You're a gay fish!!"

  • @burnyourcrutch say whut?

  • Ted Faggard is gay.

    Ted Faggard is gay.

    La la la la la!

    Ted Faggard is gay.

  • "Life's a bitch, cause if it was a slut it would be easy"

  • Some good chord vamps there. I like the key change to minor, very subtle but interesting.

  • Howheblewyah!

  • Haggard lives in denial, it's sad, he lies to his followers, to himself, and to his family.

  • @JOHNINCOLUMBUS ted haggard is a gay man

  • @checkmclassics - What is most disturbing about men like Haggard regards their outright lying until they are caught. Haggard falls in a long line of religious con men, using the money their followers give them, in the same way politicians use tax payor money to fund their whoring adventures...ultimately they are found out, but it continues to happen, it's undoubtedly happening right now.

  • @JOHNINCOLUMBUS i still feel sorry for him. maybe he would be living a happy life as a gay man if it weren't for all the religious brainwashing that made him hate being gay. he has apologized to the gay community for all the nasty things he said about them.

  • @checkmclassics - He's sorry alright, he's sorry he got caught, he's sorry to have lost his salary at Con-Man Mega Church...but I'm not sure, is he back there preaching his magic book stories again? I don't think he's sincere. Once a snake, always a snake...and the religious snakes are by far the slipperiest and most dangerous. He even looks like a snake, take a close look at his face.

  • @JOHNINCOLUMBUS I dunno, I think he looks more like a meringue...

  • Ted Haggard is as straight as a circle.

  • @MugiwaraJr  that one is sooo lmao!!!!

  • Of course Teddy is heterosexual!!!... he only sleeps with other heterosexual men... daah!!

  • You're right, but wait for it. lol

    

  • HAHAHA, genius!

  • Brilliant and hilarious!  LOL for real.

  • this is fucked up............fuck anybody who believes this shit

  • @han1456 A lot of dudes believe this.... I guess that makes you "completely heterosexual!"

  • Love it!  Ha. Ha.

  • lmao this is fuckin golden. good job highlighting some serious hypocrisy and doing exactly what people like ted haggard deserve, ridicule in a friendly and intelligent way.

  • @veganmochi This was a perfect comment on the subject of Ted Haggard. Perfect.

  • I so wanted to hate Ted Haggard... then I saw the documentary on him on HBO; that absolutely broke my heart. Such a horrible internal struggle: the love and fear of God, the love for his wife and kids... but also his homosexuality. His internal, emotional and psychological hell is (perhaps well deserved), but is definitely punishment enough without my hate.

  • @veganmochi :

    Sorry,I have no sympathy for Ted Faggard!!!

    He spent his time condemning Gays and Lezbos,

    yet he didn't mind having fun on the down low!!!

  • 131 people are completely heterosexual.

  • wow modern-day Tom Lehrer? 

  • I find myself singing lyrics to this without knowing it, all the time.

  • There's no such thing as "stupid religions", only stupid people

  • @fantasm64 You don't know much about most major religions do you? *winks*

  • @fantasm64 I hate all religions but love all people.

  • @declanp1

    you love ted haggard?

  • @fantasm64 So, people who are stupid are the ones who don't believe what you believe, right? Or are you including yourself with the "stupid people"?

  • @MrHomeChef

    I never said that...

    If you wish for me to explain my reasoning I will. Most religions (without the terrible interpretations) are good. For example, Christianity preaches love for the most part however there evangelists like Ted Haggard who ignore the intentions of his religion by putting his own spin on it to hate on gays and liberals. So I'm criticizing the people who interpret religions for personal gain even though Christianity preaches love and selflessness. better?

  • @fantasm64 No. All religion should be considered to be extremely stupid, because it is. Why are all the gods from before now just myths? Every replacement god had a group of people who benefited from the new god. And the more people they could get to worship the same god, the more money rolled in, and the more political power the religious leaders had. As for christianity, they murdered millions for their god, and ruined just about every culture on the planet. Religion = Mental Illness.

  • @MrHomeChef

    I'm not a religious person, and I'm very liberal. But Christianity is not a "they", "they" are the stupid people I'm talking about. You're talking about money, power, and politics which were created after Christianity by different sects and greedy people, but if you look at the real intentions of Christianity it is all about love, not wealth or greed. I don't believe in God, and you don't have to to see that most of Christianity's original intentions are positive.

  • @fantasm64 Have you read the old testament?

  • @fantasm64 None of christianity's intentions are positive. Convert or live in hell forever. Does that sound positive? Not to me. I used to be tolerant of religion, but over the years I've watched it destroy our planet with insanity, separatism, and ignorance. Now we're facing a new form of religious fascism from the right in this country, very similar to the Nazi movement in the 30's. We're all in danger of fear and ignorance ending life on this planet. Religion is the biggest reason.

  • @polopowers2 troll

  • @polopowers2 What's a craetor? Troll fail.

  • @polopowers2 We should discuss this issue at Red lobster, maybe you could wear a cotton poly blend and sell your daughter to me for 50 silver shekels, promise I'll marry her afterwards ;)....by the way ever work on a Saturday? if so I've got a big bag of rocks with your name written on them. Pulled pork sandwich perhaps? maybe you own a rabbit that chews cud, who knows. but then again it was two by two...wait no..7 pair of every clean animal..oh silly me that book is perfect, must be both....

  • @MrHomeChef

    Actually there's a lot of positive aspects in religions. You just make a lot of assumptions and generalizations about them. Of course there's insanity and ignorance, I think religions are exploited by tons of people. But you fail to see the beauty and hope in religion. Which is fine, most people don't. But don't criticize any religion or see every aspect of religion as "apocalyptic." That's where you become the ignorant person. I'm not religious; I am unbiased so I see some good.

  • @fantasm64 You're biased towards wanting false hope. And false hope is ignorant because it ignores reality. There's nothing positive about people believing in superstititous nonsense. It's primitive and unnecessary, and when that stupidity dies, man will have made a huge step forward in progress. Good day, sir, we are through.

  • @MrHomeChef

    I'm biased? I just told you I'm not religious. I don't have false hope in anything... I'm all for reality, and while religion may not bring that to the table, it still has some good aspects. You failing to see the good in things makes you the biased one mrhomechef. peace

  • @fantasm64 What kind of "good"???

  • @fantasm64 I agree. This is because religions where created by people. They where immoral to our standards. Thats why the bible seems immoral at times

  • if you just hear the guitar... remembers me of farmville...

    I spend too much time on facebook...

  • Jesus doesn't love 131 people

  • brilliant

    

  • Needs moar lyrics

  • Religion comes to the internet to continually get its throat slashed with a straight razor over and over and over again....but this time the internet went easy on ole religion...this time it just poked it in the ass.

  • @699backstab Is it ironic you say poked it in the ass considering this song?

  • Wonderful, wonderful, wonderful stuff.  Ted Haggard is as gay as a unicorn in a vat of glitter painted pink by Little Richard.

  • I hate to be one of those guys commenting on the likes/dislikes, but what is there in this video not to like?

    Great song Roy, keep it up

  • Ted put the MEN in AMEN!

  • SYLLOGISM.

  • LIKE

  • he forgot that shell fish is an abomination :D

  • "You're right, but wait for it". brilliant.

  • hahahahahahahaahh

    stupidity you can fight with education

    But some people are so far gone there´s nothing left but ridicule

  • How has this guy not been killed yet? He's far too awesome to live! =)

  • I actually was unimpressed. But I'm all for making fun of Ted Haggard, so props for that.

  • Favorited

  • LOL @ "Glory how he blew ya"

    It's always great when the false prophets are exposed. If you are going to preach, you better be prepared to live it. Otherwise, stay out of the pulpit!

  • That's funny. When a dirty comedian makes fun of Christians, it's genius. When a Christian makes fun atheists or people in general, he's a hypocrite. Why can't you guys be more tolerant? Oh wait, that would be too rational.

  • @richpraytor Its called satire dipshit. We wouldn't have half the comedians we do today without them. Tolerance is great, but too much tolerance leads to millions of people believing in invisible men.

  • @jadencore My apologies. I didn't realize it was satire. Satire is usually intelligent and funny. 

  • @richpraytor I wouldn't trust your sense of humour when you have so many videos of Rich Praytor uploaded. Guy couldn't make a five year old laugh.

  • @richpraytor Not true. I find Kent Hovind hilarious. Everything he says is a joke.

  • That's funny. When a dirty comedian makes fun of Christians, it's genius. When a Christian makes fun atheists or people in general, he's a hypocrite. Why can't you guys be more tolerant?  Oh wait, that would be too rational for you guys.

  • @richpraytor The Christian in question here is one that apparently doesn't understand the definition of the word "heterosexual." Ted Haggard used his great influence to lobby for the denial of rights to homosexuals. On a more personal level Ted Haggard, by not being able to accept himself as a gay man, which is what he is, continues to harm his heterosexual wife and kids who at least deserve honesty. If anything is an unnatural union it's his marriage. Haggard is the biggest hypocrite ever.

  • Now THAT is a righteous BUUUUUUUURN!!!

  • Roy Zimmerman is the Tom Lehrer of this generation. It's about time we found one.

  • Dude, I have no idea who you are, but you are the BEST comedian I have EVER seen. That was clever, hilarious, and well-put-together. I applaud you for it. I also applaud you for not giving in to temptation and putting the phrase 'Ted Haggart is a faggart' in there.

    Hey, it's what I would do. :p

  • this guy is just epic

  • That's one brick nudged from the tyrannical bastion of Christianity.

    We're gonna need a bigger gun.

  • @UnholyJesus181 Here. *tosses you trusting pink pistols* Trust me, they pack more of a punch then you think.

  • I love this =)

  • Very nice. I approve.

  • is it "glory how he blew ya"??? lol

  • @kfetter16 Yeah, that's the chorus line. Nice little tongue-in-cheek pun ^.^

  • "You might find it hard to swallow the syllogism" is one of the greatest lines ever, if not for the audience assuming (wrongly) that the pun is just a dirty joke before it even comes up. Brilliant line

  • now that's funny as hell right there

  • FUCK HAGGARD