Doug Stanhope: Voice of America - BP's Dawn Dish Soap Miracle

[RawrIsrael]

I'm pro Duck.

[dljc1979]

an american oil platform built and worked by american workers and run by american officials under american laws and american standards located in america and funded by swiss investors who own a company that used to be called 'british petroleum'

nothing to do with us...

[TheTTBT]

@dljc1979 BP owns Gulf which is the fastest growing brand of gasoline in the UK. Your gas tanks, your problem.

[JhericFury]

The first few lines made me laugh so hard.

[zorbatheok]

if you keep drinking it will rob you of your funniness and deny us your only apparent talent

[psilocyboid]

@zorbatheok wow, you put that in very dickish words. doug stanhope might not be a good janitor or astrophysicist or whatever, but he's is a philosopher and a damn good comedian. let him do what he wants to show us what we wanna see.

[dljc1979]

@zorbatheok | even his ex-alcoholic friends admit he is funnier when he is drunk, he has jokes that cover this very subject...

[1891jakk]

nothing worse then dirty  patrully oil hippies these protesters are the same people who go to phish shows and leave there trash all around

[bettypro]

"americas hatred and vitriol for Bp who provided americas ever increasing need for oil(also the largest users of oil per head in the world) is akin to an irate customer punching a prostitiute in the face because he is sickened by his own desire "  Stewart Lee

[whatsuphotdog]

doug slightly resembles kevin costner

[ggalexhutchings]

@whatsuphotdog holy mother of fuck. when the camera is back a little bit and you can't see detail, yes he does.

[xxxxxxxxxxxxxx5]

Kevin Costner Solution lol

[ImahGoer]

Fuck the duck :D.

[HolyHogShit]

last straw, that is it! no more!!! doug stanhope is now elected the new jesus! NEW JESUS EVERYBODY! new jesus! he was elected!

[So1rish]

Amen !

[Equity213]

Dougs awsome but we gotta see some new material. At least mix it up a bit. Ive been into Doug for years and ive heard all these jokes a hundred times.

[icu812a]

Wait, Doug: is the BP oil spill a nothing event that has been blown out of proportion and has no impact on our daily lives, or is it an event so profound and tragic that to exploit it for commercial purposes is irredeemably obscene and vulgar? Please help.

[goodflo911]

@icu812a yeah thinking for urself is overrated anyway

[ThatKidWiththeDice]

@icu812a He's not really saying that it's been blown out of proportion, just that he personally doesn't care. I think the point overall is that while everybody's so pissed about the spill itself, nobody is calling out these motherfuckers (like Dawn) who just use it as another platform to sell you shit.

[thadd530]

Death To BP

[ggalexhutchings]

@Fairfax29 ya, it's like he's spent so much of his life bullshitting people that he's honed his own detection skills to a razor's edge.

[BlatendCrude]

Yes Doug, You are right.

[justcallmeassinine]

The Dawn dish soap CM is like selling Saran Wrap and duct tape to the Fukushima nuke victims so they can seal up their doors and windows. Exactly the same. What's next ? Promos on TV singing the praises of Kevlar vests after the Columbine or VT shootings ? Love you Doug. Hang in there.

[poorfa4s]

dude's, if he knew the correlation between healthy environment and healthy economy/people/farmers etc this would be totally different

[poorfa4s]

"laugh in the face of helplessness or go insane" good quote

[JRHartly1984]

IT was the Americans own 40% of BP and to be fair, it was the American controlled pipeline that fucked the coastline. Americans only have themselves to blame for that. FACT!

[CzarThePlezer]

@JRHartly1984 Try looking The BP oil spill you wont have much luck or many finds, BP bought the yahoo and google links in order to avoid publicity. You can't blame america for it, it's like blaming the queen for all of Europe's bad teeth

[JRHartly1984]

@CzarThePlezer It was run an American run pipeline owned and opperated by BP's American branch. FACT!  Fuck all to do with the Brits! FACT! Poorly managed by useless American fucks. FACT!

[CzarThePlezer]

@JRHartly1984 what are you defending mate?

[FreshNostalgia]

I bought BP gas all last summer. It was the cheapest gas because of their bullshit "We're sorry" campaign. Call me an asshole if you want, but I still had food in my fridge.

[supremecourtjester]

@FreshNostalgia you're an asshole

[lathesius]

My god that last line he said was legendary!!!

[94Cioppa]

God I wish this guy was on TV in America.

[billj500]

Doug, I love you but this is some bullshit. Saying people who drive cars can't be pissed about the bp oil spill is fucking stupid. That oil spill happened because of carelessness and lack of regulations. It wasn't capped immediately and allowed to flow for half a year because of greed. This is one issue where you're wrong as fuck.

[inscrutabledestiny]

The rape victim and the feminine hygiene wash reference was brilliant. And yes BTW... I AM Pro Duck

[Pleblian]

Dawn dish soap, saving a duck, is like getting rape victim to promote a vaginal wash...

Gota love that.

[Teabonesteak]

I'm going to make a machine that makes dogs hate cats.

[CertifiedGooner729]

Why isn't Stanhope more fucking popular? He's better than all the shitty stand ups on Comedy Central.

[infinitesimotel]

@CertifiedGooner729 Because he draws attention to issues that people find uncomfortable to their sensibilities. And they make up most of the population.

[CertifiedGooner729]

@infinitesimotel Yeah. I don't even know why I asked.

[infinitesimotel]

@CertifiedGooner729 Nah man, its all good, i wasnt being a dick about it.

[ConanTheAntFarmer]

@CertifiedGooner729 He is too brash and harsh for most people. They have no balls.

[justcallmeassinine]

@ConanTheAntFarmer He is also telling the truth and keeping it real. We need him and Sen Bernie Sanders of Vt. in 2012. Of cours it will never happen.

[pretorious700]

Kevin Costner=pompous millionaire asswipe

[R4ggy]

Unless your a sociopath, you're probably pro-duck

ROFL

[drodude301]

@CrazeET brits don't know who elizabeth smart is. thats why they cut it off.

[Clownspike77]

OK, how does Beethoven suddenly work for the guy? I know that he really could have shined, perhaps that would show Doug's love.

And why is he even still talking? What the hell? He didn't say anything.

[Tentacleed]

You got to be kidding me, Kevin Costner as a solution provider??? Mwahahahaha ... you're so fucked, America :D I love you but you're fucked, deal with it.

[ginganz13]

America hates itself - how else could such acts be explained ? 

[DaveMire]

When this was happening people were up in arms like it was armaggedon. Everyone was talking about boycotting oil and alternative energy and hybrids,etc.

but now that the mass of ignoramiss' attention has been deficited by things like Justin Beiber and Lady gaga and Dancing With The Stars and whatever the fuck else, now you don't hear a thing about it and gas prices are going up again and the world continues to suck on that old fossil fuel tit once again.

[whosaidwhatwhen]

the guy at 1:00 should have his own channel.

[KilluaXIII]

the problems that are making the list should be: classist social structure, capitalist economy, religion, bad education, money-whore government. Hmm, I can only come up with 5 instead of 10, but the oil-spill is still nowhere close.

p.s.: Doug, hit me up with YOUR top 10

[JoelMatton]

Where the hell did they find a theatre that lets you smoke indoors? I would be willing to travel long distances to a movie theatre where I could smoke.

[sxdxfan]

he will get my vote in 2012!!!

[BanksChannel]

A feminine hygiene wash!

[sublime361]

verryy niiice

[theauntiechrist]

yes...oh yes!

[kaizy1]

doug........he's awesome.

[option162]

anyone know the name of the classical music in the background?

[ericscire]

@option162 beethovens 7th symphony

[PoppedLASTICZ]

Not to mention the amounts of toxic waste produced making Dawn dishwashing liquid which if I'm not mistaken uses LOTS of oil to heat, chemically engineer ,and transport said oil separating solution.

The biggest money making corporations haven't paid taxes in a few years but have enough lobbyist/lawmakers to keep us dependent and subservient, but somehow society thinks drug dealers are bad. Truth is most dealers are more honorable that every fortune 500 company.

[Sshelly34213]

@PoppedLASTICZ I think your attention is being distracted from the real problem. People in this country worship big businesses to the point where telling them these companies are fucking them over is considered "liberal pussy talk" and "anti American.

For example, the whole thing about not allowing Insurances to discriminate or drop people because they're sick was a controversy....I mean how stupid are people? This can only end in a nuclear explosion.

[PoppedLASTICZ]

@Sshelly34213 No you are correct. Not missing that point at all. The banks literally stole billions from the Gov., and us. Those same companies are now the richest in the world. Corporate crime is at an all time high from every direction so blatantly that people don't see the difference. The companies control the media, our government, and the entire market. The entire system is headed for collapse. Whats worse is NO ONE will / can do anything about it

[Sshelly34213]

@PoppedLASTICZ Hmm...yes but that's my point. They were allowed to steal said money because we were brainwashed and manipulated into believing that deregulation of capitalism was the "American" thing to do and any regulation was socialism "liberal pussy fag stuff."

Yes you're right, corporations are absolutely in charge of the media, funny how people go on about Jews, when these people produced quality art (My Fair Lady, Sound of Music etc..) during their run of the entertainment industry.

[Sshelly34213]

@PoppedLASTICZ I feel like Marijuana is a bit irrelevant to that argument, not completely but a teensy bit irrelevant. Of course it is about trying to control our likes, dislikes, fears, lifestyles in order to manipulate us into living the policies they wish, but the sole idea should be focused on the corporate manipulation this country has gone through for the past century. As a child I was so bombarded with ads on tv that I just started tuning them out eventually.

[PoppedLASTICZ]

@Sshelly34213 Marijuana? No such reference to.

[Sshelly34213]

@PoppedLASTICZ Maybe I replied to the wrong poster, I apologize if that's the case.

[heratus007]

your bit was the best part of that show. And it was a pretty good show

[asilayloathing]

Best Captian Heindsight Speech Ever

[TheSpambomber]

idol

[drewb75]

Dawn was showing the duck commercial years before the BP spill though.

[Spanner50]

Generic masturbatory fan-boy comment.

[Bizzer10]

@Spanner50 hahaha awesome

[ColostomyCake]

@Spanner50 Great comment. Thumbs up.

*fap*

[inFLUence2508]

stanhope

[Benjabola]

hold on, it's 2:45 am. i need to create my own oil spill.

[ShawnRavenfire]

Another thing to remember is that BP didn't create the oil. They just created a hole. Oil is something that exists in nature. An earthquake could have produced the exact same results. Granted, I'm not saying that BP isn't to blame for causing this particular accident. But it's interesting to note that as long as we burn up oil, we reduce the risk of an oil spill, by reducing the amount of oil in existence.

[I3utthole]

@ShawnRavenfire The illuminati were behind it, they control everything.

[visigothic67]

@I3utthole surely a quick look outside should prove to you the Illuminati control sweet fuck all.

Nobody has control over anything,its all just shit that's happened and continues to happen.

[Daffmeister187]

@ShawnRavenfire

That's a overwhelmingly positive way to see it and I mean no offense by this but you could also say that we could reduce the risk of fire by reducing the amount of oxygen in existence.

[ShawnRavenfire]

@Daffmeister187 True. But I like having oxygen in the air. I see no benefit to having oil in the ground, other than it being noplace else. Actually, I think the best thing we could do with all that excess carbon in our planet's crust, is to extract it, and use it to terraform another planet. I'm sure there's lots of other planets out there that are carbon-deficient.

[klaran]

brilliant as always

[delightfullydorky]

Dances With Wolves saved the Sioux from the the Pawnee, of course he'll save the world from oil spills.

[jules11788]

i like how hes got a screwdriver in his hand, thats good ol doug for ya.

gotta love this guy!

[bdriz16]

Amen.

[Roughneck8]

Stanhope/Rogen 2012! 

[jules11788]

@Roughneck8 They are two of the best and smartest comedians in the biz today, by far my favorites

[GatorHoy]

Fun fact: The thing that makes Dawn so good for cleaning oil off of things is the petroleum products that they include in the recipe. So oil is making money drilling, spilling and cleaning. Good on them.

[BlankBrain]

I’d agree with Doug except Dawn actually DOES work much better than other detergents, probably on birds too. So ragging on P&G seems kinda pointless to me.

If we want to fix things, we need to radically decrease the world’s human population.

And oil is mostly to blame for the exponential increase.

[sethvicious]

listening to Stanhope is like waking up from a horrible nightmare.

"Hell is the impossibility of reason"

thats what reality feels like. Hell

[potyma]

Social commentary at its best =)

[IlPadrone7]

I love you Doug

[RebelRadius]

@IlPadrone7

Me too. A voice of reason never fails to get me gushing (pun intended) - wink

[SmiffWit]

that whole dish-soap bullshxt is so fruitless too, there've been a few studies showing that these animals would be better-off euthanized than scrubbed, since they're not likely to live very much longer anyway...

Thanks, Doug! You're still king.

[ben29mc]

Love Doug Stanhope. Love Charlie Brooker.

[nexusis18]

I will buy your cat-hate machine, sir.

[editedbyfailure]

can't believe that the oil rig decided to do an Icelandic volcano and blow up all randomly on us

[ComedyJesus]

Stanhope removes the bullshit stains from fabric of society safely and effectively once again.

[LunaticAssnGotzGame]

Fuck yeah, Stanhope calling it like it is, as always! Make a new comedy special man, I love your stuff!!!

[lost45cross]

Rape victims use Vagisil .

[SugarSigur]

@lost45cross lol...what?

[zoticus1]

man,your so fucking right,

cock polishing whores taking about bullshit

[allthatisandeverwas]

On point as always, Dougie boy.

[GLeNss]

The Dawn dish soap scenario is crazy, they thought that through then dunked a duck in oil. Nice one Dawn