80 Percent Of Roommates Got So Drunk Last Night

[Tamizushi]

Studies show that 85% of all statistic are made up.

[dredful00]

@franner2002

TheOnion is fake/ it's a comedy group of sorts that make funny and fake news stories.

[franner2002]

this has to be a joke

[laithinator3000]

@franner2002 nope, its real, but its not on TV, its just a poll and those were the responses from the students. the onion is a real news network though. Its the most accurate one in my opinion.

[JoeKun10]

@franner2002

TheOnion is real, dude.

[MrManthalete]

This describes every single one of my neighbors last night lol

[wachmen123]

x}D |

[dakane328]

shouldn't they have gotten high aince this was posted on april 22 (after april 21)

[EBlaxalove]

0:56 man loses courageous battle with train

LOL'd so hard

[h0rnd0917]

What percent would vote for the candidate who promise to get Jesus drunk and laid.?

[SavoyTruffle78]

Journal of Roommate Research, LMFAO! I love the Onion's little details "Whose turn is it to take out the trash?" "Missing milk, missing shampoo"

[unfinished8kt]

i'm a writer in my college's newspaper (i know nobody reads it) but if we had news stories like this i think more people would read it. i wonder what my editor would say..

[TheZombieCo]

Recent studies show that 25% of people make a quarter of the population.

[TheYouwontgetit]

i would totaly vote for a guy who promised to kill a devil...

[mikekegger]

@TheYouwontgetit I guess I'll agree with you on that one. The Devil is an even bigger troll than you.

[TheYouwontgetit]

@mikekegger ...you are getting soft man...

[mikekegger]

@TheYouwontgetit Well you're probably getting hard right now.

[TheYouwontgetit]

@mikekegger ...i don't know what you are aiming at... ...i like women...

[mikekegger]

@TheYouwontgetit You keep telling yourself that, maybe one day others will believe it too.

[TheYouwontgetit]

@mikekegger ...that doesn't make sense... ...changing your mind doesn't have any influence on other people's mind... ...i told you - think first, write second...

[mikekegger]

@TheYouwontgetit I beg to differ, changing you mind can have a huge influance on other people's thoughts and actions. Most people are sheep and they will follow what others decide for them. But you know what really doesn't make sense? All the periods that you use, go easy on that button, you're going to wear it out.

[TheYouwontgetit]

@mikekegger ...don't be a beggar michael - lead, do not follow... 

[CallMeDaddyHoe]

not important, but i noticed that the onion always uses the slang "hella" in their videos, or at least their older ones. isn't that a northern california / bay area slang? does that mean the onion is based in norcal / the bay?

[SavoyTruffle78]

@CallMeDaddyHoe:

The Onion was started in Madison, Wisconsin. 

[linkinparkpaper]

hahahaha

[amer1cancer2753]

They fail to tell you about the 2% that got Mel Gibson wasted.

[bwakrlz]

wait....isn't that scientist guy the one who voiced the announcer in Halo?

[MrBigEnchilada]

yes, 0:24 was pretty legitimate

[WafflezDay]

Got drunk and hit on some chick for like 3 hours before she said she had a boyfriend

ROFL

[C33Four]

At the end they should have added "how did I get this bruise?"

[C33Four]

At the end they should have added "how did I get this bruise?"

[StalkingRainbow]

I promis I will kill the devil.

[cody0126a]

the last line was epic.

[bloodhorde]

my advertisement was a back to college shopping...LOL

[YourDrinkinStory]

watch?v=b552N8vHyac please like this vid and help us getting wasted 1 like = 1 beer!!!!

[Vozs]

@nriggs1000 Trolled.

[jas75211]

I a, a room mate, and I was so wasited last night.

[TDWP1711]

0:52 "Man loses courageous battle with train" hahaha

[williamq19]

would vote for whichever canidate promised to kill the devil....oh onion <3

[cookingboy3]

This is how real news works- no cencorship at all. This is how the Onion works, now go eat one and stalk this TV channel.

[Vozs]

Fake.

[mimotomoshi]

@Vozs No shit?

[vegardini11]

@mimotomoshi hahahhahaha no after alot of research i find this video is 100% fake...

[LostFaithChoi]

@Vozs :O Shocker of the millennium

[champjb25]

@Vozs fah shit sherlock -.-

[FourtyFourAirwaves44]

"Pop-Tarts beating out toaster strudel in the breakfast pastries format war."

Lol, this shit is freakin hilarious!

[underbjorn]

"60% of Americans owuld vote for whichever candidate promised to kill the devil."

.

So fucking spot on, xD

[erudox2000]

lol thumbs up if a keeth stone advertisement showed up before this!

[liamvhproductions]

I just noticed the news ticker on the bottom of the screen actually has ther funny news stories

[OriginalYTName]

Wow these comments smell of... desperation.... desperation for thumbs up...

[iszalgocomin]

@MrVistaCruiser * Complains about people complaining that people complaining other people quoting the video and gets the highest comment *

[HOLIMOUNT]

@iszalgocomin commentception

[AmethToad]

1:03 i lol'd so hard

[IcyScythe]

lol this is so dead on. Every single freaking weekend in college a bunch of people in your hall will be telling you how wasted they got. Gets annoying after a while =P

[AirSoftMacsimum]

is the news channel a joke?

[jayblob716]

@AirSoftMacsimum NOPE ITS REAL :D

[hoax4254]

LOL, I normally hate advertisements but I just sat through one for The Hangover.

[AntK1968]

The Onion rules! Funniest shit ever. 

[masterOFdisastaz]

please tell me someone else saw "man loses courageous battle with train"

[Jermiahisntmaname]

@masterOFdisastaz hahaha ya i fell out of my chair laughing at that then had to go back to it to show my friend why i was laughing

[u23bancroftl]

20% got stoned and had a better time :L

[IcyScythe]

@u23bancroftl hahahahahaha!

[Mulgde]

Vote for me! I'll kill the devil.

[gulllars]

This stuff is epic. Subscribed.

I hope they will revisit this with a longer special some day.

[pashun88]

@MrVistaCruiser * complains about people who complain about other people that quote the video and get the highest rating....and yet manages to get the highest rating? lol

[RobertMitchellX]

Studies also showed that of those 80%

90% were sexually curious college girls

43% WILL FIND THAT THIS SENTENCE IS TOO LOUD

and 3% woke up with a permanent marker penis on their face, and that they have a job interview in half an hour.

[sxv32idf]

This describes my Roommates freshman year

[xiniks]

VOTE FOR ME! 

I WILL KILL THE FUCKING DEVIL WITH MY BARE HANDS IF YOU VOTE FOR ME!

[ani451]

I really don't understand why there would ever be water in the microwave...sleepwalking??

[GotHitpoints]

Did you know that 83% of survey statistics are made up, just like this one?

[BBoyPhreshershist]

@MrVistaCruiser I was wondering when this was gonna start happening lol

[azuer143]

Promised to kill the Devil.. hahaha..

[noooooben]

yo, dude. where the fuck did all mud come from..?

[gooeysalt]

I could not stop laughing when they showed the pie.

[Beezy2127]

LMAO!!!

[KamikazeChris33]

I am pretty sure 100% of roommates got so drunk on St. Patty's weekend.

[Soyawannabeamasta]

@MrVistaCruiser Congratulations.

[drinkycrow67]

nice vid

[snakedemon11]

i would read that book....

[madsci1234]

"man looses courageous battle with train"

[Jovan14606]

*Gets the most negative votes that it can't be shown*

[cabot2jville2010]

ok if THIS ONE! isn't enough to show people who ACTUALLY THINK the onion is real, that its all fake funny comedy, then there's no hope for humanity

[damunzy]

@MrVistaCruiser so meta. upboat

[daturamodena123]

what that bowl of water is doing in the microwave

[tinapiaf]

7% got HELLA wasted - this vid is gold. Keep 'em comming. Fucking hilarious.

[shmuli9]

Why wait till night? I have 4 housemates (it's a BIG house), yet it seems since one of them discovered alcohol and women, he has "parties" almost every night and the "guests" are pretty much wasted by 7pm, if not earlier. I often find my handtowel thrown into the bathtub, amongst other things... (How people think 'it's really cool' to have a hangover is beyond me...)

[AlexGBroughton]

why the hell was that bowl water in the microwave?!

[hatecrewsj]

ive been part of that 23% on quite a number of occasions. whoever runs the onion should replace obama as president

[iweisguy]

@MrVistaCruiser sounds like me! :D

[petethespud]

I love that in these videos you can glance down quickly and see something like "Man loses courageous battle with train - next 'Today Now'..."

XD

[donniedarkodevotte]

*turns something relevant to the video into a jab at the people who disliked the video and gets highest rated comment*

[TokyoPoliceClub4life]

81 people didn't have the craziest night ever

[TheDragonsword123]

"Man loses courageous battle with train" Like he was gonna win LMAO

[quarrel02]

Fuck off google with your stupid ass ads that no one gives a shit about. I hate you so much. You waste my fucking time every time i watch a video and i wanna buy it less and less. FUCK YOU GOOGLE

[deville487]

@quarrel02 Try Adblock +, works just fine, no ads for me.

[Grizzlo503]

*feels happiness inside for having the highest rated comment because I'm sad and lonely and no life apart from quoting videos*

[Battlefieldcom384]

THE ONION

[J4ROM4]

A recent survey shows that 9 out of 10 americans agree that out of 10 americans, 1 of them would always disagree with the other 9

[brwneydgirl70]

I think this one might be true haha

[firis955]

i bet that obama could kill the devil...

[HKA25]

@firis955: no.. I dont see him killing bush lol

[BadgerCheese94]

@firis955 that would be suicide!

[notdemocratic]

i ahte you advertising

[XxektmxX]

lmfao , is this youtube channel like a spoof?

[amag31]

@XxektmxX It's the onion, so yes.

[Mechagnomics]

Last line was the funniest part.

[leegarden3]

Pity that in a cruel way this is probably true. 

[ihmen]

in all seriousness i cant stand people like that. guys who brag about how drunk they got the night before. there was a group of these guys in my psych class last semester. every morning it was the exact same thing "hey dude, last night was crazy. i got so fucked up lol". talking extra loud so everyone in the class knows they got drunk, what a bunch of losers. i go to clubs every week but i never go into class trying to brag about it like im so concerned if everyone thinks im cool.

[pallanium]

@ihmen

Clubs sucks and YOU suck douchebag/bitch!

[summitgoalie09]

shit past 2 nights I was "hella trashed"

[marioeloyolivo62]

20% of the people that watched this did not Get So Drunk Last Night

[Physhi]

I almost got laid and it was the craziest night ever.

[GrowTheTruth]

Weed rocks! You can keep your nasty ass booze! I want a nice, fat doobie. :D

[Drag2hand]

Keep your alcohol and destroy you liver and spend the next day puking. I'll be smoking weed, laughing at you and help my brain and lungs, and prevent cancer.

[patm69037]

SMOKE WEED! LEAGALIZE IT!!!

[doctamic]

omg what happens if i watch all the onions videos whhhat news can i trust then???

[TheLeviathanZero]

@doctamic Ration your supply of ONN for emergency reserves. And recycle your used ONN so others can use it as well. Do whatever it takes to stretch your ONN supply so you don't have to rely on releastic boring ass bullshit like Fox News.

[dwoodsky]

man loses courageous battle with train ........? LOL

[kluzer]

Man lost courageous battle with train.

[Mehlwurm18]

i got mad fucking trashed yesterday.

[EpixClan]

0:47 bottom, read it

[edi2314]

3% of roommates hit on some chick for 3 hours before she said she had a boyfriend XD

[hiromiao]

lol i am the 23%. How the fck did i get home?

[niguhfag]

i actually liked the Ad more than the video

[TheAppitite]

i will kill the devil

[flangleelgnalf]

@TheAppitite well, you have my vote.

[Boobalopbop]

@TheAppitite Promise?

[Pig666Foetus]

Hahah good shit,

[cjshisno7]

81 people have never been drunk

[donuthead551]

@iweisguy puts "quote from the video" or some other variation and gets the highest rated comment

[kecks69cam]

@donuthead551 Mocks someone to a variation of their comment in return wanting to get thumbs up for trying to be clever lol

[SnatchKing]

@iweisguy HA

[Bannedforfun]

@iweisguy I agree!

[TiGraffi]

... that 58% got drunk as shit

laughed so hard XD

[FuUberFu]

I'm driving drunk and texting this message right now! HaHaHa!

[berballadans]

does anyone ever read the captions at the bottom: "man loses courageous battle with train" lolol

[hfdpayner]

im in the 28% that doesnt remember getting home

[flukevocalcovers]

0:40 - For those who don't feel like trying to catch the three frames showing what it says on the bottom of the cover, it says:

"THE MYTH OF SHARED CHORES

ROBERTSON | TIRDAL..."

[BeerDeLaRute33]

vote for me, and i promise to kill the devil. wait, that sounds mean- i take it back! Don't vote for me! i'm a horrible person! i don't wanna killl!!!!!!!!!! ^^

[Preator]

Nothing more annoying than sitting in university, hearing how drunk everyone got.

[Phantasus87]

@Preator

maybe you should go out more often,....

[glados360]

SHIT FUCK RETARD! The news has changed for kids! How do you know?

[lordboyxi]

LMAO my friend came to school today with two bruises on either side of his head he was so drunk he couldn't remember what happened. My other friend who had gone whit him said he fell on his head, twice. :p

[Phantasus87]

@lordboyxi

HAHAHAH ow the nights i do remember are all like so

falling on your head twice, that makes me laugh!

[SheenaAlexis]

while some report they got so fucked up they dont even remember comming home.hahahahahahaha ohh ive been there lol

[bluebomber1815]

i dont get the joke about the bowl of water in a microwave. someone please explain.

[hellsingownzfool]

@bluebomber1815 What happen's when you put someone's hand in warm water as they sleep if you require more information private message me

[bluebomber1815]

@hellsingownzfool Thanks that makes sense

[ribtor]

Man I got Soooo Shit hammered last night! It was the best night ever. I almost got laid.

[datzfast]

@ribtor when my roomate gets shit hammered i lube up his butthole and jizz it. maby you did get laid last night.

[ribtor]

@datzfast Yeah way to post on a 6 month old comment. Besides if you are trying to comeout of the closet, maybe you should start with your family, everyone here already knows you love the cock.

[BonerInSpandex]

@ribtor Hahaha

[youknow5z5]

Only 60%? Lol!

[ConsumptionMayCause]

what WAS that bowl of water doing in the microwave?

[Parralyzed]

"60% of americans would vote for whichever candidate promised to kill the devil"

sadly, kinda true

[Kpro4]

58% got drunk as shit while some 23% got so fucked up.... hahaha

[greenchef6]

That last part wouldnt even surprise me if it was true

[Iwonderwotsfordinner]

God damn. Thumbs up. <3

[DogButtMan]

Oh god, that devil thing made me laugh so hard.

[guayo2222]

80 dislikes/2805 likes = 0.0285, pretty much 3%, the ones that 'got drunk and hit on some chick for like three hours before she said she had a boyfriend'

[xxflinkxx]

@guayo2222 If it takes 3 hours for her to say she has a bf, she doesn't have a bf.

[guayo2222]

@xxflinkxx

yeah i know, i got that

the onion is so funny

[AwesomeMcTasty]

Hell, I'd vote for a congressman who promised to kill the devil... not because I think he could do it, but he must be completely nuts to say something like that to the public!

[kamikrazeeful2]

"On Today, Now, today...a man loses courageous battle with train."

*straight-face*

[LAMFi1ms]

"A new poll shows that 60% of Americans would vote for which ever candidate promised to kill the devil"

[1danyol1]

@LAMFi1ms thanks I didn't just watch the video

[LAMFi1ms]

@1danyol1 ha ha ha, yeah good point

[TheLiamG]

@LAMFi1ms A new poll suggests 80% of Americans googled that to see if it was true

[BucketPukes1969]

@LAMFi1ms Its a lot more like which ever candidate could win a rap battle

[Jacquelyn104]

@LAMFi1ms only 60% what!? the rest of em is CRAZEE!

[p0tazzium]

@LAMFi1ms A new poll shows that 60% of Youtubers would thumb up a comment quoting the funniest line from the video.

[Soviet257]

@p0tazzium That's completely inaccurate! The real figure is closer to 90%.