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From: narcissismvideos
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  • How excellent to have a name- "incapacitating"- for the con-game you describe at 3:48-5:05 and 6:52-7:46. It happened to me on a screenwriting project. In the end I sensed the scam and told the narcissist to f*ck off... but the damage was done.

  • This video describes my ex-wife and my marriage perfectly.

  • I thought this video was about lighting farts on fire

  • Tweeting this. I was fooled for over 25 years and I have a degree in psychology. Amazing.

  • Gaslighting is also altering the environment of the victim and then chronically undermining the perception of said alteration, inducing self doubt, eroding of confidence. black is white and things didn;t happen, must be her imagination etc.

    Gaslighting can also be poisoning,or drugging in small quantities to induce confusion, hallucinations, panic or altering reality to undermine confidence and believability especially when a victim stands up to hold an abuser accountible.

  • @Nashvillesuperstar SO TRUE! I have seen all of these things in my situation.

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  • yes, I constantly get...statements that refer to me being lazy and spoiled while he goes to work everyday....such BS but it is done everyday. When he leaves for work he puts his head down and walks out saying "I',m going to work now have a fun day..." there is a angry tone to his voice.

  • great!!tnx for posting-so usefull!

  • I used to do this to get ahead at work, I never really took how psychologically damaging it could be into account.

  • @Laughingblades But you wasnt completly unaware of what you was doing right or?

  • @ainanor I wasn't aware of the damage it could have.

    I'm a sociopath so I have pretty much lack a part of empathy, anything I have to feel that space is sort of an intellectualization, as Vaknin puts it. When I would use gaslighting tactics it wasn't really with malicious intent, I didn't even give any thought to whether it was "wrong" I just tried to make people do what I wanted them to do, and to get ahead in a world where I had to secure my income and survival needs.

  • To fill that space rather, hehe, Freudian slip maybe? I can't feel it, so I have to fill it in with something that works.

  • DAMN THIS VIDEO IS RIGHT ON!!! I feel good. It took a step 3 to ruin me. HA. Bet that took alot of effort. YOU BITCH!!!

  • this is soo true..... I was once such a happy and confident person... Everything he said she did to me... I didn't know people could be so nasty... I just didn't want to belive she was the way she was... Everyone swore she was so "great"... she is the opposite...

  • This is true and it happens everyday. My god... I was bullied by a narcisist in school over my modeling career... Her gaslighting ruined my life for the 3 years I knew her... She made me out to be so jealous and threatened by her everyone treated me badly... When infact if she ever had me alone she'd make all these snide but seemily innocent remarks about me.. being ugly or wierd or stupid... Completely evil girl. I don't care what other people think.. She is senseless..

  • Good idea to watch the film Gaslight (available on youtube) starring Ingrid Bergman, from which the term gaslighting comes. Apart from being a wonderful film it portrays this form of abuse, albeit in a highly theatrical way, in a very clear way.

  • One of the employees at the front desk of the apartment building I live in has done this to me. I was stalked to another floor one day by a man who lives on my floor. When I complained about it to this woman, she told me that what I saw couldn't have been what I really saw. She then gave me a lecture on what really happened, casting doubt on my version of reality. This is gaslighting.

  • My N' poisned my house. Told my kids I was crazy. placed things in different places. He was the worst of the worst. Because there are no visible signs then they do make YOU look crazy. I am strong and HE will not win but I am loosing my entire family because they think that I am crazy. It should be a against the law and punishable by jail time if not death because they are slowly killing others.

  • I think my dad is gaslighting my mom since I was a kid.

  • Oh my God, this is my husband EXACTLY! What you say from 6:15 onwards is exactly what is happening to me. Is there any hope that the behavior will ever change? He has already wrecked my relationship with everybody. For no good reason, he once said to me early on that he could make my life so bad I'd want to die. Later he said it was a 'joke'.

  • Gaslighting: is a form of psychological abuse in which false information is presented to the victim with the intent of making them doubt their own memory and perception. It may simply be the denial by an abuser that previous abusive incidents ever occurred, or it could be the staging of bizarre events by the abuser with the intention of disorienting the victim.

  • I find it interesting, Dr.Vankin, how you use the accusative "herself" continuously. I won't suggest for a second that you are blind to relationships in which the female is the abuser. I couldn't help but think that this particular kind of gaslighting abuse is something most guys will have experienced at some point. This PRESSURISING, at least in western countries, is something we've learned to expect.

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