Wizard People, Dear Reader - THE CRIBBAGE MATCH (Chapter 19)

[abbienarutogirl]

FUCKWORD AFTER FUCKWORD!

[Blitzthekid]

HOly fucking shit ass cock fucking HARRY POTTER I LOVE THIS MAN!

[kkezar11]

maybe it was softcastle mccormick. wink wink, harry. wink wink.

[mrchuckmorris]

The most hideous boy in the world has the ball. He has a lumber pile in his mouth that he calls teeth... OMG

[isaacshaw57]

She released the balls, and those balls were harrys life.

[wrnerd101]

the little room of harry's chest.

[DCCaviMusic]

The captions are actually pretty accurate for this video. 9:13 and 9:42 are just plain impressive :)

[Froebs]

Harry loves death. Nice.

[ccs91]

"Soon Professor Kat Face Meowmers" ROFLLL 3:20

[qwertyuiopqwertyyyyy]

Immagine cellos going at a massive staccato 

[youzawannabe]

whens he gonna come out with the next one



[AEpixie7]

"FuuuuUUUUUCCKKKKING... SHIT!" Harry cries! Lol

[KairuHakubi]

where the hell is chapter 18?

[themsnac]

fuck word after fuck word

[mechazaowa]

Dubiously!

[jazzdaddywham]

Woosh and Woosh

[wow5heyy]

FUCK YES

[dthor999]

JUST BLOW THE FUCKING WHISTLE!

[pumarunner88]

If you haven't watched this while drinking with friends, do so.

[rilessmiles]

"As Hardcastled McCormac worries under her muffed ears"

[featuringfranklin]

CELLOS HELD BETWEEN THIGHS IN A DARK ROOM

[whitebus2012]

@featuringfranklin That was pure poetry, followed closely thereafter by "rips the air a new one"

the contrast of beautiful language and hilarious profanity makes this the greatest work of art of all time

[RibonZetsumei]

Freaking love this.

[TenSax34]

Willickers! The broom I wanted way back in Calgon alley!

[rpsmith014]

"FUUUUUUcking sHIIIITTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!"

[KamichamaKiku]

the crowd goes absolutely bizONKERSSSS!!!!

[BertMcBox33]

"Soon, professor Cat Face Meowmers is on the field"

LMFAO.

[1998classicXJ]

Best part of the whole chapter @ 6:06

[youresoemo]

Where can I find the .mp3s for this particular cut of Wizard People? The ones on Archive.org are kind of different and, I don't know, I just like his delivery better on this version.

[Priorywrestling]

Red and yellow red and yellow red and yellow

[PootchBlook]

And Lumbermouth shows his namesake . . .

[timsobuff74]

Harry utters fuck word after fuck word

[ewad99]

JUSt BLOW THE FUCKINGG WHISTLE

[NinjaJoe174]

Harry knows what he has to do... And I'd warn God himself not to get in the way

[kizzyk]

Professor Cat Face Meowmers. Everyone should call Madame Hooch this. Forever.

[mithrinwow]

Major Wood.

[luvWeaslys]

SCARLET AND GOLD

[Locke217]

Since seeing these videos, my sister has almost subconsciously started using the phrases, "bazonkers", "wilickers" and "holy balls".

[theindianan]

FUUUUCKKINGGG SHIIITTT

[bandabears]

professor cat face meowmers haha.

[evok0999]

for a harry potter central you guys talk about like everything its not a post office bird its his bird hedwig voldemort its mcgonnagol and its quidditch

[brianspragg]

@evok0999 This is "an unauthorized re-envisioning of Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone, by Brad Neely" He knows what the characters names are, but he changed them around a little bit.

[evok0999]

@brianspragg ok cool thx but isnt the title pilosophers stone

[278TC]

fuuuuucKIN' SHIITTT!!!!!!!!!!!

[RaioShii2021]

Where is chapter 18?

[Sallieeeeee]

"fuckword after fuckword."

[rickster798]

Thank god for Prof. Cat-Face Meowmers

[1978blah]

4.48



[KadamsMedia]

HAHA hard castle mcCormic

[SpikeRosered]

100,000 fucking points for Gryphondoor! It might as well be worth that much.

[stjogo204]

Best one ever, my total favorite. Best quotes: "...as Harry yells fuck word, after fuck word." "I am a beautiful animal, a destroyer of worlds!" "wink, wink Harry, wink, wink." "FUCKIN SHIIIIIITTTTTTT!" "...and lumbermouth shows his name-sake."

[redsoxboi11]

I am a beautiful animal. I am a destroyer of worlds. I am Harry FUCKING Potter. And dear reader, at last the world was quiet.

[thedancingraven]

"FUUUUUUCKING SHIIIT!" Harry says. He is all but hulking out at this point.

[thepantweaver]

I love the strange focus on how beautiful the Gryffindor Chasers are.

[6Soccer4life]

the crowd goes absolutely BAZONKERS!

[lukebrockman8]

CATFACEMEOWMERS!! yes i called my cat that name and answers it

[CreepyLurkerMan]

Harry could kill EVERYONE for this!

[zdkezios]

JUST BLOW THE FUCKING WHISTLE!!!

[iloveflamingpenis]

curses that snake a good one



[rek410]

"We think Neely has crafted an as-of-yet-unnamed new art form, one everyone should experience for themselves."

... I think you should call it Mystery Science Theater 3000.... oh wait.....

[caligo641]

@rek410 I wouldn't call it a 'new art form' but this is pretty clearly distinct from MST3K. MST cracked jokes at what was happening on-screen, WPDR essentially crafts an entirely new story with it.

[ryanwelsh2132]

Ahhh. fuck word after fuck word.

[Kc3p0]

Professor catface meowmers!

[squire1617]

JUST BLOW THE FUCKING WHISTLE!!!

[lovexshikamaru]

i am a beautiful animal! i am a destroyer of worlds! i am harry fucking potter!!!

[PieraYerkes]

I AM A BEAUTIFUL ANIMAL

[PieraYerkes]

HAHHAHA

[skiiiiiiiiit]

6:08 

[GandalfTheBalding]

Yes, they're going to crash, but Harry loves death, he says "bring it on," Harry is like a demon long dead with nothing else to lose

[whothewu]

Snake? Snake?! SNAAAAAAAAAAAKE!!!

[Straws92]

I cried from laughing so hard.

[Marldance]

Valmart... is that like a german walmart or something? idk just a thought.

[jac0bsh0ck]

Harry positively ignites with rage and Lumber-Mouth shows his name sake as HardCastle McCormick worries under her muffed ears.

[jimmye2494]

and harry yells fuck word after fuck word....

[eRev21]

Swarm, swarm, swoosh, and swarm.

[WackidWally2]

I love how "snake" is a she

[HowdyThere88]

"....through her ocular enhancing spell....."

*priceless*

[PrimaDonna081191]

this is the best thing I've ever found!

[amandabooty]

CELLOS HELD BETWEEN THIGHS IN A DARK ROOM, THE LITTLE ROOM OF HARRY'S CHEST.

[BRBgottaskate]

"Willikers!!!! The Broom i wanted way back in calgon alley!

the necromobenembrosalophosagosom!­"

[beansyboy7]

I AM A BEAUTIFUL ANIMAL. I AM A DESTROYER OF WORLDS. I AM HARRY FUCKING POTTER.

[absweet]

Catface Meowmers

[star67platinumdancer]

swarm swarm swoosh and swarm

[ProZackBoy]

I laughed so hard I spit my food all over the screen @ 9:42

[fritzdcat7]

thumbs up if you spent an extra 20 minutes laughing at this!!!

[GlassGunner]

Willikers! The broom I wanted way back in Calgon Alley! The Necromobenambrosalafasagoso!

[BRBgottaskate]

Woodpile and Ernie

[Kinglbj6]

And then the ugliest boy in the world... lol XD

[fightwithdogma]

I'LL PUT MAH FUCKEN DICK IN THE OWL

[Kceb29]

6:05

[123AbRaCaPoCuS]

Professor Catface Mmmeooowmers

[mikegrosek07]

..and Harry yells fuck word after fuck word.

[Steinna615]

And, at last, the world was quiet.

[OhhLewie8970]

I AM A BEAUTIFUL ANIMAL!

[outcasts89]

willickers! The broom i wanted way back in calgon alley! Necromo, Benembro, Salafasagoso. Who Could have done this? Well well, maybe it was Softcastle McCormick....Wink wink harry....wink wink

[ruplayer]

im a douche bag

[eRev21]

rofl. amazing.

[MegaOptiGigaOmniPlex]

I want brad neely as an english teacher.

[Nithren7]

His fucking life! :D

[liveinexia]

that was heaven, thank

[trytobemb]

i have never laughed so fucking hard :D

[whitebus2012]

wink wink, harry... wink wink

[Radicalnesssssssss]

49 people dont like cribbage

[MrRandomSkitz]

and he is after that snitch like a fucking rocket... ZIF!!! at this point i was rolling on the ground barely able to breathe

[mandapandabug]

Professor Cat-face meowmerz!!!! best ever!

[SameLameUsername]

6:10

im on the fucking floor, barely able to type this in between uncontrollable bouts of laughter

[hppybob]

@SameLameUsername Same, I was crying from this point to the end. I was literally ROFLMAO. My ass might have fallen off.

[strongbad5656]

Queerman, Monstermash, Zoomakroom...

[reedbaker2]

Who the FUUUUUUCKIN SHIIIIIIIIIIT is Neil?

[KevinAZ13]

THE NECROMOBENEMBROSALOFASOGOSO!

[Musicroxmylife321]

"WHILIKERS! The broom I wanted way back in Kalgon Alley! The Necromonaynimbrosalafrasagoso!­"

[Comet777]

This shit is hysterical. I crack up every time.

[guiltymusicband]

ZIFF

[MrYoungberg]

I guess there's more than one reading from Brad N. because the full version I have on my Zune is much better. Neely doesn't sound as passionate in this one:( Oh well.

[MrRobot]

@MrYoungberg  where did you get your other version? :)

[MrYoungberg]

@MrRobot Not sure of the origins because it was my bro. that put the complete movie on my Zune. It's the exact same script, but w/better voice intonations and sounds less forced than this.

[MrRobot]

@MrYoungberg

ohh well, i will do some searching for it. 

[MrYoungberg]

@MrRobot 

[FluffyBunniesOnFire]

@MrYoungberg I agree, the other version has more gusto.

[Glambliff]

I finally rediscovered this after being sent here by Neil. hahaha

[echosmyron625]

harmony's ocular-enhancing spell

[MSxSlushi]

I watched this right before school and had a writing prompt... Now I'm excelling Language Arts

[aaachannel]

Like a donut of sorts!

[Speedosify]

wink wink harry, wink wink

[finniggin]

"the most hideous boy in the world has the ball. he has a lumber pile in his mouth he is calling teeth and he is a mean S.O.B."

[jac0bsh0ck]

49 people have no sense of humor.. and probably grew up thinking that their parents died in a car crash when in fact they got slaughtered in a wizards fight

[jac0bsh0ck]

NOW IMAGINE A MUSIC DEAR READERS! HEAVY WITH CELLOS AT A RAPID STACCATO.. CELLOS HELD BETWEEN THIGHS IN A DARK ROOM, THE LITTLE ROOM OF HARRYS CHEST

HARRY POSITIVELY IGNITES WITH RAGE! AND LUMBERMOUTH SHOWS HIS NAME SAKE AS HARDCASTLE MCCORMIC WORRIES UNDER HER MUFFED EARS...

Neely is a man of words and makes this movie watchable

..and harry yells fuck word after fuck word.

[KevinAZ13]

"FUCK YES!" Harry releases a primal yalp!

[dykevampires]

PROFESSOR CATFACE MEOWERS

[brichterman]

He swings his leg over his steed, and rrrrips the air a new one.

[markdksc]

Fuckin' SHIT!

[FamouslyFireburnt]

I am a beautiful animal! I am a destroyer of worlds! I am Harry Fucking Potter!

[quidnuncnarniac]

FUCK YES!

Hahahahahahaaaaaa it looks so much like he yelled FUCK YES!

Ronnie the Bear curses snake a good one.

[Solveigster]

Who could have done this? Well, well, maybe it was Soft Castle McCormick! Wink wink, Harry. Wink, wink.

[lauallred]

Swarm swarm shwoosh and swar,.

[SoBeGoldSven]

"JUST BLOW THE FUCKING WHISTLE," he growls.

[FatsDomino64]

The Nechromo-Benimbrose-Allafassag­osso! *Nimbus 2000*

[rachmarc12]

100,000 points for fucking Gryffindor. 

[poetaviolinista]

This was magical.

[jnoe31]

FUUUUCKING SHIIIIT

[ATLiloveyou]

this is my favorite of them all haha i love it.

[Beelzebibble]

48 raters hate their parents for mixing up such unthinkable people.

[Ettral]

WHILLIKERS! the broom i wanted way back in calgon alley! the necromo-binembros-alafasigoso!

[djaziztube]

He threw his leg over his steed, and ripped the air a new one, cracked me up duno why

[ememembalism]

i have a feeling the narrator is drunk.

Like all the time.

[gmilf71]

Proffesor Cat Face Meowmers lol

[draco00]

"lumbermouth" HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

[ParkerPennsylvania]

Queerman... was queerly intent... on the games proceedings....

[motivosa1]

I wish you luck in not hating your parents for mixing up such an unthinkable person

[Floorthirteen]

FRRRCKKIN SHITTTT

[aishuakshi77]

SOFTcastle mccormick lol

[Kinglbj6]

she indeed will be an asset for the few years that she attends gryfindor

[FinisOriginePendet]

wink wink, Harry, wink wink

[devtev57]

there is about a couple thousand sentences you could quote from this video

[LeonSpinx1]

"100,000 points for fucking Gryffindor!"

[CutieCakes121808]

Soon, professor Cat-face Meowmers is on the field and releases the balls...

[darkpenguim]

"FUUUUUUUCKIN' SHIIIIT!", says Harry.

[Sindollx666x]

LMAO. Thanks for that. The most hideous boy in the world has the ball..HAHAHAHA

[GrumpiSmurf]

I....AM HARRY...FUCKIN...POTTER!!! 

[djfifixfifi99]

'I am a beautiful animal!

'I am a destroyer of worlds!

'I am Harry Fucking Potter!'

And, dear readers, at last the world was quiet.

[imdefyinggravityy]

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCKK!

Cat Face Meowmers :D

[BluberryMuffin652]

but he was denied by our blood thirsty major wood :)

[dreamwarrior22]

"fuck yes!"

[92cosmicgirl]

professor catface meowmers. No matter how many times I hear that, still gets me every time.

[TheGirlYouDoNotKnow]

@92cosmicgirl my family named our cat Catface Meowmers because of this. its sooo hard to explain to people

[Osmprofit]

dude, i love your work. but you need a life

[mbw12194]

@Osmprofit god i hope he doesn't get a life!

[zelda2ownage156]

My God!! HILARIOUS hahahahaha!!!