Public Mastication | David Mitchell's SoapBox

[demonprinceofkhorne]

what he is of course ignoring is that poo smells...bad

[lubzbie]

I thought it said 'public mastibation' ...

[LukeKCRoscoe]

strange you should mention that last point, because the Romans (and presumably other civilisations at the time) did gather for a chat and a shit

[MidasStorm]

@LukeKCRoscoe Going to the bathroom is only a private thing for men. Women always need at least 3 friends to accompany them.

[JBwizzy92]

why is there Italian music playing while going into a Japanese restaurant

[CowLunch]

Why are the titles so fucking irritating? "JOYOUS! WATCH IIIIITT!" Fuck off.

[TheSobek]

@CowLunch What are you talking about? The title doesn't say anything except Public Mastication | David Mitchell's SoapBox

[CowLunch]

@TheSobek no i mean the dell intro

[fearthefurby]

I think Enoby Darkness Raven Way should watch this video

[Karateworm]

@fearthefurby I lol'd heartily.

[NeilSonOfNorbert]

there is allso a lot of intimacy in feeding someone, being fed by someone, or feeding eachother.

[stjernefodt]

HAHAHAHAHAHA

[calisuni]

Gather together in 5 star toilets for a chat and a shit. Awesome.

[handsomebrick]

The kinkiest way to absorb nutrients.

[ionacrawford]

This man just summed up an entire course on the social and psychological implications of food and eating I took as an outside course at uni. The lecturer basically said all of the above just including references...

[c3vzn]

I love "masticating"

[mooreman0]

I love the way when he breaks anything down it sounds... well, shit.

[androwbmx]

haha I thought the title said public masturbation lol

[420squeeg]

Wow, at 1:30, I finally go, "Wait, this isn't about ... OH, public mastiCation." ROFL

[310BPM]

@420squeeg

how dumb are you.. lol.

[jeanpaulsinatra]

So what's the logic behind catering staff not being allowed to eat in front of customers?

Plus, I think Romans did used to have a dump as a social occasion.

[Hasseli]

@jeanpaulsinatra Finnish conscripts still do, at least when they're out in the woods in areas that have rudimental outhouses. We called it rivinelonen, translating roughly to 4-in-a-row.

[Conway79]

'A Chat and a Shit', that would make a new great business slogan for communal social defecation. Incidentally, this idea was cleverly used in the film 'The Phantom of Liberty', which I thoroughly recommend.

[TheREAL5m0k3y]

Public what now?

[Cheezsoup]

@TheREAL5m0k3y Mastication = chewing

[TheREAL5m0k3y]

@Cheezsoup Thanks for taking the time answer my question, but I was actually just being silly. I knew what it meant. I was going for an amusing play on words but failed miserably. LOL

[DrSparrowShrike]

i only eat with people i either have never met and wil lnever meet again or with people i know and trust completely, i dont like to eat around people i dont know much but will see and converse with fairly often, however this rule does no apply to things like popcorn at a cinema or party food.

[a1024s]

OMG! I always had a problem with public eating (it's actually more complicated than that- I could eat at meal-time with minimal discomfort, but not if I'm the only one doing so... even after making absolutely positively sure the other person or persons aren't hungry or thirsty.) The worst is when you're eating and someone just pulls up a chair and starts talking to you as if nothing is happening. And now I know why- eating is defecating in reverse!

[painxtreme]

@a1024s PRECISELY! Someone gets it. This makes me happy. I never liked dining out with people, because most people talk with their mouthful, chew with their mouth open (with loud-as-possible smacking), and have the general manners of a 4-5 yr old that has no idea how to behave in such situations. I also have said something similar to your closing part. "If you just have to sit across from me and eat with me, then why not come shit with me? I mean as long as were sharing biological functions...

[Papped1710]

Oh to survive only on sarcasm. if only such a thing were possible...

[Evil1banez]

So basically he gobbles bananas. That was my take of it.

[TheAkatsuki357]

Nothing goes with sushi better than David Mitchell

[brownbridges]

Thumbs up if salad is blue :L

[danelletakarai]

never knew that coming...you kind sir definitely got me on this one....keep it up.. funny guy David Mitchell is.

[TheLoneLongboarder]

This guy is brilliant.

[bored1980]

My God. This guy just said what I've thought for years about the art of eating in groups. Fascinating. 

[Magnetohydrodynamics]

I want to learn to exist solely on sarcasm.

[burn70u7]

@Magnetohydrodynamics Really??

[endex101]

@Magnetohydrodynamics I all ready do

[CowLunch]

@Magnetohydrodynamics You're doing it wrong.

[AgentMcgeek]

@Magnetohydrodynamics You are in the right place

[LimeyThunder]

@Magnetohydrodynamics just act like normal people do

[JamieFnLeckie]

I have a mancrush on this man! He is fucking awesome! :L

[GingerJoberton]

A CHAT AND A SHIT

[faeryfirefly]

i really love David Mitchell :)

[LukeGeoDude]

Actually in ancient Rome shitting was not considered a private thing. If you lived in Rome, you, and people around you would shit in front of the pedestrians in a stone-carved holes assembled in one long row.

[painxtreme]

@LukeGeoDude Yes and they bathed together too. I've been twice, but just as there are no more Caligula, or sundry Caesers, there is no longer their custom of such biological sharing. One could argue that is how they decided to handle public facilities, but it makes little difference now. Just as I don't like eating with others (due to nasty manners), I don't wish to shit and chat either. It is only the exit of what you've witnessed entering earlier, whats the diff other than odor? We are funny.

[LukeGeoDude]

@painxtreme Well yes. Of all the different costumes of hygiene that you've mentioned any beyond, the ones that make most sense are the ones that protect you as much as possible from potential spread of pathogenic microorganisms and toxins, after that point it's just something you get used to with no actual difference of which way of doing it is the most appropriate one. But yeah I very much prefer to shit alone due to minor health problems in that area so privacy makes sense.

[painxtreme]

@LukeGeoDude It's really a hangup of my own, I had been raised by a single Mother until she married when I was 13, and my new step family ate as if they were at a trough like hogs...I just couldn't stand it, and ate in the living room most of the time. They are wonderful, my Stepfather is one of those "Salt of the Earth" guys that would do anything for you, even if you'd never met, just cant watch him eat :)

Mixing chat with eating is my biggest gripe. The mouth multitasks in a revolting way xD

[rikko338]

2:18 - 2:24 I have the weirdest boner right now.

[mushroomheadjr]

I've suddenly lost my apetite.

[ShallWePlayGBA]

Did no one else misread the title?

[painxtreme]

@ShallWePlayGBA I caught it...but I wasn't wanking at the time XD Relax..only a joke. It's just his 98 cent word for chewing.

[Bawadari]

I think if anything after hearing this one could become quite self concious about eating, to which I myself feel presently.

[Xanous]

David Mitchell is a strange, strange man

[Xanatos712]

Actually I rarely eat in public because I'm almost never hungry and would rather spend my time & money on other activities, which is what I usually occupy myself with while outing. And when I do refuse to purchase a serving of food when with another person it's usually because I want to talk to/at them about something, which I find difficult to do with a cheekful of sushi.

[aaron4820]

Holy shit really? worldslastchance advertising on YouTube and is allowed to do so, 14 minutes ad? what are we? Fox new audiences? I'm offended, the last place you'd want to advertise stupidity and/or bible prophecy is on a David Mitchell video...

[Yebisu22]

@aaron4820 ssssssshhh, God might be listening

[fenderkid6]

@aaron4820 You can avoid adverts by installing "adblock plus" which is a free add-on for google chrome and mozilla firefox.

[ArchiveEverywhere]

@fenderkid6 Aaron was more getting at the fact that they're allowed to advertise on Youtube like a furniture company is.

[juliosammy]

wow he is making me self conscious about eating.

[chiffmonkey]

for a chat and a shit. I love it.

[Sonicblade128]

... did anyone else notice the burger pass by on the sushi-go-round?

[livstar93]

"slip away quietly to the ingestatory, pull down our trousers and gobble up a banana"

[Libervurto]

@livstar93

Stop repeating shit, if you found it funny just laugh!

[DoctorKandosii]

In India and Pakistan people are quite happy to curl off a turd in the street while chatting to each other. Fact.

[smaakjeks]

@DoctorKandosii

I knew I would regret reading the comments to this video whilst eating.

[eveDjakku]

chat and a shit

[zeinul]

ppl used to shit in company a century ago.

[frickinradical]

@zeinul some people still do, although instead of real people it's usually just facebook

[tess4now1]

The reversed status, private eating/public defecation, was shown in a Luis Bunuel movie some 30 years ago. I think it was "The Discreet Charm of the Bourgeoisie".

[LlamasOnAcid]

He's sitting on Kimbab! tis korean

[WARPALORPA]

0:01

[ec123456789able]

i agree, eating is intimate.

[painxtreme]

@ec123456789able I get looked at like a madman for saying the same. If I have to meet with someone, I usually will only get a beverage and some kind of manageable bite sized knosh, if anything so, if they ask me something just as I bite in, there isn't 30 seconds of their time wasted on me chewing a larger food item. While they talk, showing you what their meal will look like in their belly, I use that time, to prep anything on my plate needing it, check msgs, take a sip, anything not to look.

[ElPlonk0]

who else read the title wrong?

[Nathan2345678]

@ElPlonk0 yep

[SMuJ17]

@ElPlonk0 I wanted to :/

[310BPM]

@ElPlonk0

not i, because i can read, and don't think about masturbation constantly.

[SubstanceTheGamer]

@310BPM misreading is not the same as being unable to read, and you don't have to constantly think about a subject to misread a word that has one letter difference. Are you trolling people, because you seem quite intent on trying to insult a lot of peoples intelligence for no real reason.

[gamingdonnie]

@ElPlonk0 pubic masturbation

[shadowofdread]

@ElPlonk0 I only realised I read it wrong about halfway through the video when he was still talking about eating. xP

[brainsurjon]

all very well ,till someone,spits on your lip. YUK.

[brainsurjon]

ok still you get spat on,right on the lip

[DrawnSteelHero]

David's getting wasabi on his bum. That can't be good.

[batmanofni]

It's very ironic that Mitchell is sponsered bya grooming product.

[WillShakespeare2007]

@MsKimchichi - You think eating is as perfunctory as brushing your teeth. Now you don't really believe that for a moment do you? Eating is one of the greatest pleasure life has to offer and if it isn't then what is?

[ra83clement]

good video as usual but people need to learn what mastication means fools !

[akaBanKsy]

the title is misleading

[alitheblond]

I've learnt to survive on only sarcasm...and cake

[mychemfreak246]

0.54 Burger

2.54 Cat.....??? O.o lol

[DeanMalenko]

if those oils are so essential.. why can I live without them?

[stephenshwmac]

He is absolutely right on this!

[Brunswick999]

public mastication is clearly a play on words to draw in the more sex-oriented youtube watchers

[handsdown101]

I watched two minutes in wondering when he was going to transition to talking about masturbation lol shows how closely I read that.

[EdNortonisMineLol]

I thought that said "masturbation": that would have been hilarious ;)

[Kan2209]

I'm th ekinda guy who doesnt eat in public, and I could agree to what he said.

I do put myself on a podium sometimes, but it's only a consequence of my past of not being good enough for/in anything. Mind, thta's not an excuse to carry on unhealthy and irrational behaviour. I am working on my problems. That's why I apprechiate someone pointing them out to me.

Interesting.

[Anima14]

This guy is wasted on all of you.

[misssamanthacullen]

@jukejuk @wreynolds1995 I was forced into attending a Catholic school, so unfortunately I can explain that Judas actually betrayed Jesus before the last supper (that is, he told the Romans that he would bring Jesus to them for 30 pieces of silver), however Jesus wasn't actually arrested until after it... not that any of it is even remotely true.

[irishprice]

social paranoia.....

[wreynolds1995]

uh, judas actually ate with jesus at the last supper BEFORE betraying jesus.

just sayin'

[jukejuk]

judas betrayed jesus after last supper...

[TubesOfRed]

@jukejuk But he planned to betray him way before.

[treker999]

I clicked on this because I thought it said public masturbation...

[blahk04]

This was on Star Trek, a alien race that only ate in private and freaked out when the crew invited them to dinner.

[255ad]

@blahk04 it was enterprise if i recall correctly

[thelexus]

its like that short french film where everyone shits in public but eats in private cubicals... forgot the name now

[MrRoflgasmic]

who else read the title wrong? :P

[BelfastAtheist]

@MrRoflgasmic

Nobody.

[SKYoung94]

@MrRoflgasmic I didn't read the title at all. just shows how bored I was.

[Phosphatide]

I'm sorry, I got distracted by all the sushi.

[Briony123]

Did he just describe Judas as 'rolling up' to the last supper? How I love you.

[ihavenokegson]

I can't stand the sight of people eating, it ranks highest on my list of personal disgust, with others such as watching a starving vagrant shitting on a baby.

Then the baby laughing.

Covered in shit.

[muertaXangela]

@ihavenokegson Personally, I dislike people watching me eat. It makes me feel self-concious & paranoid. Company & conversation can be nice during a meal but I don't want anyone to look at me unless I'm talking, in which case, I will not be eating at that time.

[blitzablitza]

i love david mitchell. i'm happy he's sitting on sushi because i'm a japanese fan !! and the door says "sekkenbako (=soapbox in japanese) " in kanji.

[blitzablitza]

i love david mitchell. i'm happy he's sitting on sushi because i'm a japanese fan !!

[Benediction91]

Not everyone needs a shit at the same time, but you can eat whenever

[askthepublic]

try pause the video and scroll through david's facial expressions - brilliant

[TheDSil]

Interesting point. Makes me wonder what the social etiquette was like in Roman vomitoriums.

As for the reason for it communal eating, I'd say it has to do with safety. When you're eating, you're distracted and preoccupied. If a cave bear comes upon you, you'd want to be around other people who might see the danger first, and alert you.

[bridgettompkins666]

@TheDSil

to be fair if i had to be surprised by a very hungry bear mid way through a bag of chips, or mid way through a shit, i think i'd rather be interupted mid way through a bag of chips.

[Asgardt]

@TheDSil Hmm that's a good point, many of the animal species in the world today follow that exact same principle.

[bluecheckeredhat]

@TheDSil

I think the etiquette in a vomitorium was just to move out of the way, 'cause all vomitoriums were were archways under the bleachers. A lot of stadiums and opera houses/ theatres today have them.

[JRGWing]

How did the human race survive before the invention of bulldog without all those essential oils?

[gbuck1982]

@JRGWing That should be a subject Mr Mitchell should take up. Although technically he will be biting from the hand that feeds him I guess

[93cian]

@JRGWing Brilliant, reminds me of Mitchell's rant about passion.

[spelldragon93]

@JRGWing The strongest survived on Bulldog before the introduction of the essential oils.

[walkcordatus]

Definitely one of the funniest of these Soap Boxes!

[caroline812]

A little part of me secretly want to stoke David Mitchell -  his shirt looks really soft.

[Troy741852963]

"hi im david mitchell and i hate life"

[muffin8or]

@Troy741852963

Yet your life is probably worse than his. Strange how you find what he says for a living, though true as ot may sound, has somehow ruined his view of the world.

[Troy741852963]

@muffin8or

? harsh and a bit out of context ?

[walkcordatus]

@Troy741852963 Dude, I think it's just comedy. I am certain he sat down and wrote this down, calculating every sentence. He is laughing at the absurdity of some ordinary things in life which is what most comdey does. Don't take it so seriously! His making a living! Isn't that life affirming?

[rob5190]

@Troy741852963 Just because he lives his life differently to you doesn't mean he doesn't have a life.

I've met people like you before, people who think that someone who does things differently doesn't have a life and that your lifestyle is the one only people should have and everyone else has no life at all.

[Troy741852963]

@rob5190 yet you haven't met me, so your deluded!

[gbuck1982]

@Troy741852963 Don't think David hate's life. But he does protest against some of the things that are considered to be ''the norm'' in life.

[pixxispad]

Buñuel beat you there David.

[HairyBassist]

What about puking though? That comes out of your mouth...

[sillyjobug]

@HairyBassist And even with that, we're a lot more willing to watch someone else do it than to watch them in the toilet. I mean, most of us have held a friend's hair back when they were puking, or sat rubbing their back to help them feel better. But we're not likely to be found holding someone's hand while they're engaged in a particularly tricky shit.

[StressedTechnician]

Pull down our trousers and gobble on a banana - what more is there to say!

(Other than brilliant ending.)

[diabl2master]

"Inserting it into your face"

[Labruskie]

Now I'm thinking of Monkey Dust - 'Poeple on the Toilet'...

[colonellemon]

Isnt Bulldog for men a complete paradox when related to David Mitchell?

[Specialcookie246]

hahah o my goodness! david and I are the same person. we are so insanely like minded

[ChaosFish]

Brilliant. And true. David Mitchel is awesome.

[JuliusBonapart]

it's a cultural thing, the Chinese shit and chat it up together. Watch the movie Public Toilet, it's interesting to see how other cultures take up the subject.

[mrbeancounter90]

I take your point David - There is a tribe in the Amazon jungle where the idea of eating together is disgusting and they go off into jungle to eat with their backs to each other, while having a dump is done in public with friends and family watching.

[izthishuman]

ooooo, david mithcell talking about masturbation, this should be interes- oh, shame

[ghostmadlittlemiss]

@izthishuman - Thank you! I'm so glad I'm not the only one who misreads the title every thing this video pops up at the side of my screen. :)

Kayleigh

[MorganJhonnieCat]

Haha, a chat and a shit! HAHAHAHAHAHA

[diosmio99]

hehe! wasn't there a French film one time where the going to the toilet and eating rituals was reversed? everyone sat around the living room on karzies together doing their business and when they got hungry they sneaked off to a little room and had a snack hehe!

[pmattu]

hahahahahahahahahahaha - I love this man! x

[mupet00000]

Well I think David is wrong about this one. I don't think eating is a private thing, we all need to do it, it tastes and smells good and unlike sex or taking a dump, it doesn't show your dick to everyone.

[CraigMetalHead]

Hmm, I dont know... the only thing I eat in public is an XL bacon double cheeseburger from Burger King when I am on the go. And lets be honest, no one NEEDS to eat that. :D

[MultiJosh1]

I like David but I also want to kick him in the head

[dreamsatsea]

Oh I like what you did at the end there David. Although I think it's illegal to gobble a banana in a public toilet nowadays. What a shame...

[Yzsaakc]

This is in congruence with the Barthes essay I read today on the "Blue-Blood Cruise".

Also, hurr: public masturbation.

[tomaspage89]

I never realised I was a supermodel or in supercilious denial. I love you David Mitchell.

I am now surviving on sarcasm.

[superchief86]

I don't much like eating in public, or with people at work or things like that. Only because I'm an incredibly fussy eater and am frankly quite embarrassed about it.

[Sambw19]

i thought it said public masturbation at first lol

[usernameunauthorised]

this is really depressing. i hope i don't develop an eating disorder now. thanks, david mitchell.

[Knonz15]

does anyone know how many rants you can have per lifetime??? i fear for david mitchell's health!!!

[janeeyre1990]

@Knonz15 Don't worry, I'm pretty sure he's immortal, having learned to sustain his body only on sarcasm.

[anaemicandsweet]

I will never eat again.

[ChillyUK77]

South Park Red Hot Catholic Love springs to mind

[dannybighair]

Wow. Really insightful. Keep doing these!

[Everfalling]

ingestatery. i'm using that.

[LGD3]

There was a (Star Trek) Enterprise episode where an alien delegation visited the Enterprise and left in horror and disgust upon seeing the mess hall.