Get Your Butt Out Of My Food!

[Naurunorihc]

try going out the other side

[RozenklanZ]

crotch

[beatriz0607]

ass

[linkinparkdude15]

Take the knife, slit both their throats, go fucking ape shit and throw the table at a waiter or waitress, then leave calmly. Pro: No drama, no eye contact, no squeezing out

Con: Are none, go do it people NAOW

[goochieguy]

my ass andd crotch are very savory

whip it out and let 'em have it.

[kamibeavis]

Push your table to the side and walk normal.

But if you've been sitting adjacent Jeffery Steingarten, then its ass with gas.

If Padma, then rock out with your c@ck out.

Between Jeffery Steingarten & Padma? Perfect! ....depending on wind drafts.

[kamibeavis]

Push your table to the side and walk normal.

But if you've been sitting adjacent Jeffery Steingarten, then its ass with gas.

If Padma, then rock out with your c@ck out.

Between & Padma? Perfect! ....depending on wind drafts.

[KBURNN]

ass

[jjlinert]

Either way is okay if you're a midget or petite. Then again, if you are a busty, short person, the breast swiping across plates of food might not be too appealing to you or the others. Flat, short people have it the easiest in this situation. Giants with a gland problem also will have no problem here.

For the average person, get some stilts to add height OR bend your knees and make yourself a shorty. You'll be able to get out with dignity and get a bit of exercise at the same time .

[Equestrianjumper567]

ass

[battlehappy]

Crotch. That way I can look them in the face when I apologize. Also, letting them know ahead of time allows them move items.

One should consider the possibility that if your ass is truly scraping the other table's dishes, it might be time to start ordering the salad.

[StrongGaia]

If those are the only two options, ass out. The pro of not having to make eye contact outweighs all the cons.

[Blee527]

crotch

[thatbrownguy]

ass out

its funnier

[SnivenMcLovin]

Crotch...but I always whip it out and flop it on their plates as I slide across. Sometimes I knock everything off the entire table :D

[beanish65]

Ass!

[soccerchickyy13]

it should be!

[BMXcomedy]

peanut

[skissors2]

definitly ass out. cuz i don't really have much that'll get in their food. :p

[FirstHumanAlive]

Erm... I'd ass it out if there was no other way, or maybe try the other way, i mean the right way. Not left.

FirstHumanAlive

[Chwineka]

Ass.

[swylde]

ass

[unasman]

ass

[BLamp2013]

crotch

[ytR0DN3Y]

ASS! this is a funny ass video!

[MetalShowgirl]

Neither. Conspire with the person across from you (or you can also do it without help in most restaurants) to move the table over to one side giving you ample space to get out. That way, there's no eye contact and you don't have to do anything inappropriate with anyone's food. If you get any feedback from anyone, just give them a dirty look and say "What?" in a semi-threatening tone. That's what Ms. Manners says you should do...at least I imagine...yeah...

[makeitlazy]

Unquestionably crotch. Really, if your junk is large enough to actually make contact with my food, I probably will invite you to sit down and have a few. Plus, I'm definitely not an ass girl.

[melancholyguy]

Ass, if it's you passing my table. I'd be your motherfuckin toilet paper, Mo.

[LS1490]

definitely crotch because (1)(unless you're really, really well-endowed) it won't hang over/get into the food, (2)cuts down on the potential for embarrassing body functional mishaps, (3)they're less likely to stare at your exit since you'd be able to see them looking at your crotch.

p.s. eye-contact would probably be minimal since it's awkward for both parties.

[voyager444]

Exactly the reason why I dont sit at tables like the one in the video.

[VeryPolitical]

Ass and crotch!

[rockmania27]

ASS lol. ass in their food and dont break your stride

SHAY HAS HUGE SOCKS BTW

[freshnfabulous]

Ass

[magicjack30]

i think the ass lol because you dont have to look at them haha

[intensity1024]

Definitly crotch

[BillyTheTapeworm]

Just flip the table up and say "GOD DAMNIT!" and walk out violently.

[JoeFelice]

Funfact: In either case, you can reduce your total girth by removing your pants and underwear.

[finn292]

SO true Joe, so true...

[rockmania27]

hahahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaa Joe

[JessiBessi93]

crotch out....but first check to see if you could go out the other side...if there is nobody there

[SmashThSilence]

Crotch out. Awkward eye contact might turn into sexy eye contact.

[hiroxprima]

crotch out, try to look left when you're moving out, and they'll just glance at you for a sec then go back to eating. nbd!

[shaycarl]

In a situation as precarious as this I usually like to employ the Fosbury Flop!!Named for its inventor, Dick Fosbury (U.S.), the 1968 Olympic champion, the flop involves an approach from almost straight ahead, then twisting on takeoff and going over headfirst with the back to the table.

[salemblood]

I say go out the other side fo the table but if that can not be done... Ass out.

[blaque77beauty]

Tough Decision...the situation has to be carefully thought out :)

If they are rude or you just don't like them...then it's "Ass out"

If you care about what they think and feel like being polite....then it's "Crotch out"

[rezurrxtion]

the other side of the table if possible

[kleeklai]

~under,

definitely under.

a little gum in the hair

is worth avoiding

this whole situation.