Cave Johnson lemon rant w/GLaDOS comments

[8bitrising]

Yeah!

STOP IT BONER

[SuperMissile]

I can just see a Cave Johnson demotivator poster.

Cave Johnson

He's so manly, he turned on a potato.

[sakuratheangel1995]

He is a nut lol.

[blakeonypt2]

@sakuratheangel1995 no he's a lemon

[sloshize]

When life gives you lemons.

Take them

Free stuff is cool

[machiner6]

someone in my art class painted a picture of someone holding a lemon with the features of a grenade, and the text above and below said: "When life gives you lemons, GET MAD."

[maychanx31]

"Burning people. He says what we're all thinking!" Umm, GLaDOS I think that's what you're thinking. Not anyone else... o.O

[RamtruckProductions]

Lmfao I'm watching this while on skype and I keep yelling "WHOOO!!!"

[bigJJBulldog22]

My favorite part of her orgasm was 'Yeah, He Knows what were all thinking!'

[runningbox11]

@ElenaAdanwen It's "He says what we're all thinking." :) Sorry, had to nitpick.

[Jman5311]

Click 2 for Oh Yeah!!!!

[TheNightcloudHATER]

ORGASM! 

[FanGirlYell]

DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM

I AM THE MAN WHOS GONA BURN YOUR HOUSE DOWN

WITH THE LEMONS

I AM GOING TO GET MY -cut out-

TO BUILD A -cut out- LEMON THAT BURNS YOUR HOUSE DOWN

-Dies-

I love cave jonhson

[Task1001]

Fun Fact: Most citrus based products (including lemons) produces a natural oil called Limonene within the rind of the skin.

Limonene is also considered a flammable (combustible) by-product, and the name itself is a derivative from the fruit lemons.

Comes to show how down to earth Valve was with there research.

[sephirothD2]

@Task1001 dude!!! ...you just blew my mind...

[Matteo2137]

he says what we're all thinking

[jonnycashman100]

I dont want lemons i want pictures of spider man

[OMGitsNickmas]

Cave looks a lot like Ronald Reagan 

[gowashgo]

***INTERNAL COMMUNICATION***, RollingBack Emergency System Recovery at test room 17, main causes under investigation. ***THANK YOU***

[GyorkiDani]

Hardcore Porn....

[goofeewalden1]

Valve you have some genius writers. Since you can't count to 3 hurry up with Portal 2: Episode 1 and 2. :P

[TheWriter0]

lol captions. "Alright, I've been thinking." "didn't think"

[AlchemyDetective]

I wanted to see how much I would have to type to find Cave Johnson's Lemons line. I got as far as "cav". Excellent work, Valve.

[Gibson299]

can u imagine when this techNology becomes available lol

We all no Glados is caroline

lol

[pikorar]

GLaDOS is a MILF. Motherboard I'd Like to Function.

[yen0652]

The 16 dislikes are from people who got their houses burnt down...

[chocolatesprite]

lol at captions



[zacksterful]

Imagine the Old Spice Guy saying this.

[MochaholicPuppy]

GLaDOS' voice actor is my idol

[EuVoceEoZobomafo]

is a porn?

[ThePurpleSpartan]

Not even the Old Spice guy can make a potato orgasm. But Cave Johnson can.

[dstrbdxxxprncess]

Mom, I fear my life ._.

[cronoinfire1993]

oh, men to me that, its so creepy.

[Zlarel]

He sure is ,GlaDOS

[Eccentricexpert]

Many a night have I lain awake thinking 'Life sucks.' Now I know why: Because all it ever did was give me flipping lemons-well I don't want your lemons, buster, and I'm going to make life.....after I've BURNT YOUR HOUSE DOWN....WITH THE LEMONS!!!

[StrawberryCandyAngel]

Ew!!! My father does not do that!!! Cave Johnson is my father btw. :P

[TheWhiteRenegade]

I used to want to burn a house down with lemons, but then I took an arrow in the knee

[1r0zz]

@TheWhiteRenegade what a shame.... :P

[Farah456]

BURN HIS HOUSE DOWN!!!!!! xD

[DORUmonify]

you think GlaDos went through this a lot when she was still caroline?

[mickiblay1]

Burning people! He says what we're all thinking! :D

[xxDrone95]

Cave Johnson, the only man that could give a Potato a orgasm.

[matrixphijr]

@xxDrone95 I feel so inadequate...

[TrueLeonPriest]

@xxDrone95 Yeah, real original.

[MewYuki23]

She says she has the intellectual capacity to get over withdrawal from test euphoria. But I just think she found a replacement.

[89Dustdevil]

This is like porn for her.

[NeoArcane]

Most. Perverted. Clip...EVER!!

And I LOVE IT!! =P

[jonotwist]

take the lemons!

[darklordfry]

When life gives you a random quote, don't take it. Throw the quote back. GET MAD. I don't want your quote. I don't want your damn quote, what am I supposed to do with it? Demand to see life's narrator! Make life rue the day when it thought it could post random quotes on my page! Do you know who I am? I'm the man who's gonna burn your house down! With the quotes! I'm going to have my engineers to invent a combustible quote that burns your

house down!

[TheMarshmellorsable]

@darklordfry Burning People! He Quotes what we're all thinking!

[TorchicBlaziken313]

Where'd GLaDOS get the idea of burning people? He was talking about houses! Houses and people are two completely different things! That is, if you don't subscribe to the opinions of certain fringe groups...

[treemuger1]

thats what she said'

[LugiawolfXx]

(Says something funny stated in the video and gets into the top comments)

[Afalstein]

In its context, this quote is almost sad, despite its inherent zaniness.

[chaos12135]

What Chapter is this one in, This is when There leaving the "Old Aperture Science Center" correct.

[EverythingsPro]

15 viewers are lemons :D

[LegionDCX]

roses are red

violets ain't yellow

That Cave Johnson is

A curmudgeonly fellow

Wait. That sucked.

Roses are red

And GLaDOS is crazy

So let's all drink whiskey

[MrCountBleck1]

GLaDOS was exited XD

[XxXENHXxX]

I think GLaDOS is getting turned on!

[7Blacksteel7]

@XxXENHXxX Yep. That's how it sounds, no matter how you look at it.

[cats211newandimprove]

That record is actually is a secret code that make potatoes have orgasm its called dixsel in spud code

[TwinBladeFury]

He's like a badass Bill Nye the Science Guy...

[Livenist]

Potatogasm.

[richie456439]

did GLaDOS have sex in that whole speach? x3 jk jk l:3

[SoLSn1p3r]

Roses are Red

1/2 of Portals Are Blue

P-Body is a girl

Now i throw lemons at you

[KurtCobaingel]

...I only asked if you wanted some lemonade, Mr. Johnson...

[lin2k4]

What's the context behind this? Is he angry because he's slowly dying of old age?

[XboxAnnihilator]

...Nixon?

[treemuger1]

@jaydeekayex perv!

[jaydeekayex]

@treemuger1 I'm sorry you feel that way.

[PAMuffinMan]

@jaydeekayex Goddammit I was gonna tell you this was weird. Then I imagined those ratchets they use to remove race car tires and started laughing. Good show, sir!

[jaydeekayex]

@PAMuffinMan Thank you, thank you.

[AkasunaNoSasoriSama]

Underneath the Pyro's mask is GLaDOS' main core.

[AzMiramontes26]

in soviet russia, you no make lemonade. lemonade make you!

[donnk]

why does this sound like porn

[Fearoq]

I think that how she sounded like when they were still alive and were having sex

[spuddsstudios]

Burning people1 he's saying what we're all thinking

[seafireofatlantis]

he looks a bit like... gman

[MrBoxman29]

god it sounds like porn

[88KoKonuts]

Engineer will say "nope.avi" :D

[kingoffallou]

GLaDOS is right i do think about burning people on a regular basis

[consigliere94]

that's some weird porn you've got there.

[RHCPThom]

Wish I wish I had a Portal Gun

[HipHopBaby1621]

the combustible lemon stuff is what finally had my dad agree to letting me get an Xbox

[DarthStormer90]

How can I make this my ringtone?

[pichachusan360]

This is my new ringtone!

[MrLuigiv]

lol anyone got a boner wene it sounded like Gladous or Charolin was haveing an orgasm 0_o

[TheShadowpie]

@MrLuigiv dude what

[MrLuigiv]

@TheShadowpie idk lol

[brokenneck]

@MrLuigiv Yea... that was weird xD "YEA!, YEA! Burn his house down!" xDD

[elech01]

rosettes are red

violet are blue

cave johnson hates lemons

he throws them at you

[JDavies345]

@elech01 oohhhh that was a good one

[elech01]

@JDavies345 thanks sorry for bad spelling

[Cassben1]

@elech01 Roses are red,

Violets are blue,

That's not a panel

We sell those too.

[UndeadShark91]

@elech01 you, sir, win at life.

[MamaLuigiBarrelRoll]

Weird, this guy sounds like the crew chief from ModNation Racers...

[WSLMinecraft]

GLaDOS really lets her childish side loose at this part in the game. c:

[Sandvichslammer]

thumbs up if you think glados shoul have sayd "AHH FUCK YEAH"

[DLuniz]

Is it wrong I want this as a ringtone

[reversecolin1256788]

@DLuniz no it isnt wrong its my ring tone

[jacker257]

every 5 seconds houses are burnt down by lemons

[GraceTheUnstoppable]

I can recite this quote perfectly. I regret nothing.

[RamtruckProductions]

15 Peoples' houses were burned down by combustible lemons.

[01FNG]

sounds like robot porn

[crazy0525]

I'm so glad you posted this since I was laughing too hard during the game to hear his whole rant. XD

[GraceTheUnstoppable]

Ellen McLain (sp?) must have had so much fun with this. But not as much fun as Cave Johnson's voice actor.

[LittleXmissXgrim]

Burning peopel he says what were all thinking!....acsept Chell, shes thinking burning GLaDOS....

[BLACKIESBOY]

Cave Johnson is a pimp all by himself, but GLaDOS is the icing on this cake of epic win.

[Jaeger7793]

Is it just me, or does Cave Johnson look like Ronald Reagan? Or maybe a hybrid of Richard Nixon and Ronald Reagan! Scary!

[waldoman7]

@Jaeger7793

I was thinking nixon, but now that you mention it I see the Reagan. I wonder if it's on purpose.

[pseudonamex2]

This clip is my fav way to start the day. <3

[volker136]

WOAH SEET HOLY JESUS FUCK COCK...

GLADOS IS A WOMAN! :O

[TheHunte696]

@volker136

No shit Sherlock.Soon you'll tell us water is wet

[volker136]

@TheHunte696 that... i... really? REALLY!?

[Axel6410]

life sucks.

[1goldenguy1]

COMBUSTABLE LEMONS, TO BURN YOUR HOUSE DOWN!

[culyfry93]

i can not stop listening to this

[NateArch1821]

"All right I've been thinking, when life gives you lemons, don't make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! GET MAD! I DON'T WANT YOUR DAMN LEMONS! What am i supposed to do with these?! Demand to see life's manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give CAVE JOHNSON lemons! DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?! I'm the man thats gonna burn your house down...with the lemons! Im gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!" -Cave Johnson

[Professorsammich]

i legit cannot see the dislike bar

[PianoMan347]

Wikipedia says that the only thing cave johnson invented is the postage stamp. O_o

[Nightshade3D]

whyboner.jpg

[Nislo12]

umm glados should run on a lemon battery so after this part Valve had a reason to let Aperture explode =-D

[Aertrex]

@guy766

Get a psych check...

[guy766]

As a lemon, I found this part of the game very insensitive, I mean it literally pokes fun at being a lemon, I have contacted WBTV and asked to have Brigida Mack do the full coverage on this lemon rant in this so called rated E "Educational" video game, She said she felt "Compared" to share my views on this rant, I thought maybe it's rated E for everyone except for lemons, Don't get me wrong it's a great game it's just this one little blurb in there that wasn't needed.

[NIR111Class]

I swear if anyone else says "potatogasm" I'm gonna invent combustible lemons myself.

[TheRealRealFlippy]

@NIR111Class Potatogasm

[NIR111Class]

@TheRealRealFlippy That's it! Where's my grenades and lemon seeds...

[TheRealRealFlippy]

@NIR111Class :3

[mackers0071]

@NIR111Class ...potatogasm

[MrThe4th]

@NIR111Class potatogasm! potatogasm!!!!! Mwa haaa Haaa HAAA!!!!!!!!!!!

[DaHuuuuuuudge]

@NIR111Class what if i say gottam

[linkscols]

@NIR111Class lemons are combustable cuz of citrus acid :D

[MrGmanFreeman]

@linkscols U dumb or something??

[TheGameConquer]

@NIR111Class potatogasm

[Blade1176]

I've been thinking when you get boner dont watch potato orgasams get mad I don't want this boner what am I supposed to do with this demand to see porn sights without potatos flapping themselves make life unmeant porn rue the day it thought it could give yourself a boner do you know who I am..... I'm the man who's gonna make a virus killing all potato flapping orgasams using a video of a potato flapping itself.

[darthbane53]

Cave Johnson, the only man that can give a potato an orgasm

[TheJboy88]

Was anyone else slightly turned on by the Glados part of this speech?

[TheLateKnight4785]

@TheJboy88 i was completely turned on. fapped and had to get a new keyboard.

[TheCIDFF7]

@TheJboy88 no 

[RioEllington]

@TheJboy88

I was and it frightened me.

[UshiromiyaReiji]

@TheJboy88

Yes.



[ArcticMan94]

Potatogasm

[Dan1428Gaming]

SPAAAAAAAAACCCCCCCCCCCCCCEE LEMONS!!!!

[aqwmarc]

potato+lemon= 1 hell of a fruit.

[hamsterattack227]

YEA! YEA YEA! YEA!! YEA!! ...OOO I LIKE THIS GUY.....BURN HIS HOUSE DOWN!!!!!!!!! BURNING PEOPLE HE SAY WHAT WERE ALL THINKING :)

[SombreroKing100]

Potatogasim

[garryjoness]

Is it sad I know the exact wording for this without looking?

[Rocketpug100]

@garryjoness no i know them too...

[GraceTheUnstoppable]

@garryjoness

I'm about to xD

[HyperKnuckles888]

So.....idk wat to comment on...most everyone has covered everything......LEMONS FOREVA.....or something

[LynneaOnline]

Wow 100 people with practically the same comment. How useful!

[MrShazDude]

glados got lonely and decided to fap to the old cave johnson recordings

[dcheartly]

1 - Remove Cave's voice

2 - Use final product to replace sound in porno movie

3 - ?????

4 - PROFFIT!

[oliv3833]

When life gives you lemons, don't make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! GET MAD! I DON'T WANT YOU DAMN LEMONS!! WHAT THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH THESE?!? DEMAND TO SEE LIFE'S MANAGER! MAKE LIFE RUE THE DAY IT THOUGHT IT COULD GIVE CAVE JOHNSON LEMONS! DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?!? I'M THE MAN WHO'S GONNA BURN YOUR HOUSE DOWN!... ...WITH THE LEMONS! I'M GONNA GET MY ENGINEERS TO INVENT A COMBUSTIBLE LEMON THAT WILL BURN YOUR HOUSE DOWN!!! Cave Johnson. We're done here.

[KyokoFujita]

GLaDOS: "Yeah! Take the lemons!" xD

Go GLaDOS! Though she sounds a bit strange saying "yeah" after Cave Johnson... D8

[AngelOfAnEnd]

Cave Johnson > Chuck Norris.

How? He gave a potato an orgasm just by talking.

[Xyrsk]

lol GLaDoS is reciting the mob.

[SumaTJessT]

GLaDOS: yeah! yeah! yeah! comming...

is this a sound record from cave and caroline doing a baby?

[BSC148]

Potato orgasim