Achmed The DEAD Terrorist. Puppet- Jeff Dunham

[kristin45ful]

Acchhmeds teeth are fucked up!!!!!!

[76dragonrage]

can't stop lsughing to hard i am in tears

[76dragonrage]

i almost pissed my self laughing

[76dragonrage]

to fuuny

[dogalcomist657]

i took thta virison basterd with me o he had gas too damn basterd

[PlatinumWaffles]

"It's a flesh wound" BEST LINE!!!!

[bighungry5]

lol ;)

[666osy]

the best!!!



[sweetgyy]

hahahaha

[whoday100]

i love it so moch

[jmpmem]

this is the best show ever i love it and when im playing minecraft i listen to it



[MsBoston1998]

good evening... infedel

[MrOwner456]

Just got tickets to his show for christmas!!!!!! =D

[909wipeout]

Achmed: "What the hell happened to my feet? Son of a bitch! Holy crap! What da hell!? Dammit! STOP TOUCHING MEEEEEEE! I KILL YOOOOU!!" lol

[jkl7700]

lol

[BrandonBCM]

INFADEL!

[TheAmyia1]

he is so funny

[5699alyssa]

this is so funny

[Pajaroloco4695]

This was funny

[19998ification]

im sorry ive been watching pimp my camel

[Emoprinicess9]

this is not right

[guyguy101001]

you darn idiot u don't got an ass!!XD

[TheFIRELORD15]

LETS SEE UM A C FLEM lol

[rascals45]

I KEEL U!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[walanakatara]

I KILL YOU !!!!

[glorie712]

alot of kids at my school copy jokes from achmed

[thumbalina156]

hahahahehehe

[wilsonhlts]

That's funny as

[romeo2011686]

I didn't know make funny of others religion is so funny like that

[34153353]

Bullshit, trithorns!

[trithorns]

DONT READ THIS CAUSE IT ACTUALLY WORKS YOU WILL GET KISSED ON THE NEAREST POSSIBLE FRIDAY BY THE LOVE OF UR LIFE TOMMORROW WILL BE THE BEST DAY OF UR LIFE HOWEVER IF U DONT POST THIS COMMENT TO AT LEAST 3 VIDEOS U WILL DIE WITHIN TWO DAYS UV STARTED READING THIS SO DONT STOP THIS IS SO SCARY PUT THIS ON AT LEAST FIVE VIDEOS IN 143 MINUTES WHEN UR DONE PRESS F6 AND UR LOVER NAME WILL APPEAR ON THE SCREEN IN BIG LEDDERS THIS IS SO SCARY THIS IS SO SCARY CAUSE IT ACTUALLY WORK

[TheDan461]

@trithorns then how are you not dead and ive seen this comment so many times and not died? dick head

[trithorns]

@TheDan461 i got scared QQ dont call me a dick head please...you wouldnt know who i am or who i could be .-.

[TheDan461]

@TheDan461 im more scared of yu than your comment 0.0 -.-

[Splunker101]

Thumbs Up or I KEEL YOU!!!

im jk

[iamMacDonald71]

ACHMED: what the hell happened to my legs

holy crap.......... what the hell.........damit....... STOP TOUCHING MEEEE

[actsing411]

I love Jeff Dunham.....not like that, But i <3 his jokes and "puppets" ecspecially ACHMED!!!!

Achmed: It Achmed ahhhh (laughter) Slience I KILL YOU

Jeff: How do you spell it

Achmed: What?!?!?!?

Jeff: How do you spell your name?

Achmed:Oh lets see....A...C....Flem (laughter) SILENCE (high pitch) I KILL YOU

XD XD XD I LOVE THIS GUY!!!!!!!!!!!!

[FiFiandJaydeepops]

ablem

[SuperRedbaron221]

666 people here would kill Jeff to get a Klondike bar

[jameswilmothjdw]

20 people are verizon bastards

[jameswilmothjdw]

if this is paradise i've been screwed! lol!

[CHICANOPRIDE619]

20 ppl are terrorists!

[159dany]

my favorite is when he sed SILENCE!!! I KILL YOU!!! i love him he is funny.

[griffengirl123]

SILENCE!!!! I KILL YOU!!! LOL i love achmed!!!

[charleen65]

Jeff: "So you did this for 72 virgians?"

Achmed: "Are you kidding me? I'd kill you for a Klondike bar,"

XDDDDDDD

[animechic131]

new guy

[PeekingKitty]

I'm a suicide bomber. Oh so your finished. Wha- so your done your job. no I haven't.. But your dead. No I'm not... I feel fine. Lol

[YuGiOhFanNumberOne]

two jew walk into a bar that would be a religus joke

[YuGiOhFanNumberOne]

Achmed: Stop touching me! I kill you! Jeff: Just hold on let me fix this Achmed: Holy crap what are you doing wait wait... something is backward holy crap I need some ligaments Jeff: Just sit still Achmed: Ok I will not move my ass Walter: You idiot you dont have an ass Achmed: Is that Walter Jeff: Yeah Achmed: He scares the crap out of me please do not put me back in the same suitcase Jeff: Why Achmed: He has gas suddam's mustard gas is nothing compared to a Walter fart

[YuGiOhFanNumberOne]

@YuGiOhFanNumberOne sorry i didnt hit enter

[8dogn]

its frickin funny crap rite ther

[meriamturki]

nuk nuk

who's ther

me.i kill u! xD

[sands123ful]

those 72 virgins in the heaven only for Martyrs not for terrorists and any one can be a martyr not only who dies in the battle like children or women who die when she is Fasting or doing hajj or when she die when she is getting birth she will be a martyr

those people who die drowning or burned or have inside sick are martyrs

Islam is a religion of peace but so many Muslims don't know about Islam any thing and they entered their bad traditions to Islam that's all

[sands123ful]

I thought that this vid attack Islam but it isn't

this man has talent and his idea is clear that terrorists are wrong they will punish for innocents they killed ...no religion on this earth allow killing people

in the wars Muslims shouldn't kill children old people and women and they prohibited to cut any tree or kill any animal and they have 4 months in the year they shouldn't make battles or wars or kill any animal (beside killing wild animals like tigers is forbidden all the times

[poohweziie51]

lol hahahaha!! achmed is so hallarios [ps. silenc i kill u]

[GoDiegoGo95]

Has anyone seen his shirt i have it sas

"Silence.... I KillYou" hahahaha

[GoDiegoGo95]

Ayo muslim boy/girl its a joke gess knt take it they make jokes bout mexicans dnt see us flippin out

[PirateLuv32]

Good evening.... infidel

[Unknowngirlxx150]

I did that to 2 catholic priests except I tossed in a small boy!hahahhahaha and the winner had to fight Micheal Jackson hahahahaha! lol

[Unknowngirlxx150]

Lmfao!! A-C-Flem. Knock Knock-Whos there-Me I kill u!!! gotta love this stuff

[RubyBearCub3]

Lol I want Achmed as my ringtone

[SeriousnesszROBLOX]

Doesn't he look like osama?

[gabledyer]

roflmao this is really funny stuff

[mexican4ever1511]

lmao haaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhha­aaaaaaaaaa

[mexican4ever1511]

lmao

[noodle100100]

GET BETTER SOUND SO I CAN HEAR SILENCE I KEEL U

[crocodile800]

stupid show and stupid poeple we are muslim and we are proud to be muslim

[reptile4u09]

i love hmand he is so funny he as gt to be one of the best ones out there 2day

[therepofrombekbekbek]

omg!!! hilarious!!! i luvv it! silence! i kill u!

[djwestbrook36]

im a muslim:

-i am not offended

but i have to know one thing? is it that guy talking through the puppeT??? his lips arent even moving.

[scoobydoo500002]

SILENCE I KILL U.... I WOULD NOT KILL THE JEWS I WOULD TOUGHS A PENE AND WATCH THEM FIGHT TO THERE DEAD! LLLLLLLLMMMMMMMMAAAAAAAAOOOOOO­OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

[twilightgirl1978]

It doesn't matter how many times I see this, I still laugh my ass off!

[sbourret09]

"I'm dead, what do I care?"

[alisiarules]

SILENCE! i kill u!! 

[ILuvCookehs]

Gotta love those eyebrows.

[boossalim123]

Terrorist fuck yhh niggs sayeing we are the Terrorist people but we are not... you are the people who are killing people in iraq for nothing

[lucdaher]

@boossalim123 I would correct you, if you allow me. I wouldn't say for nothing. I might say, for OIL!!!! Why do you thing they are acting as humanitary people saying that they are concern about the situation in Lybia? Because their own interest. Why Don't they act the same way about so many African countries that struggle against tyrants like Kadafi (many times, worst than him)?

[olgramo]

hermoso!!!!! qué maldita fiera... jajajaja.. qué divino!!!! lo mejor... Ala damn it...jajaja

[ImJesus117]

if this is paradise ive beeen screwed!!!!!! lol

achmed: knock knock

jeff: whose there?

achmed: me i kill u

[ImJesus117]

if this is paradise ive beeen screwed!!!!!! lol

[ericjungleboy]

The only problem is Ahmed has a Mexican accent.

[LoVeRAnImE67]

i love these parts of this video

SILENCE! I KILL YOU! and

GOD DAMN IT! oh oh ALLA DAMN IT!

[nwmichael45]

luv this guy

[Mrsportsdude56]

fswDS



[fluffehrainbows]

5:28

Start of the "'ELLO I AM LINDSEY LOHAN" part. XD

Love it ♥

[JakeTheDiabolo]

very funny

[MrUtubefan5]

i kill you

[KWCline91]

13 people are scared of Achmed

[1jcrobins1]

Jeff: what would u do for a klindak bar?

Achmed: I kill you

[Simplecompexity]

@1jcrobins1 its klondike bar!

[1jcrobins1]

@Simplecompexity oh well u no wat i mean rite

[Simplecompexity]

@1jcrobins1 ik,

[0014833]

funny stuff men

[yamjandali]

No, he's not a Muslim, he just randomly shouts Allah! Of course he's a Muslim, so yes, it is racist!

[SolarGhost789]

@yamjandali You realize Islam is a religion and not a race.

[shadowkilledsonic9x]

whats the last thing that went through your mind. my ass

[trujilbt]

i went and saw his new show Identity Crises in Colorado Springs last night and it was amazing so much better in person.

[gtboy529]

jeff dhunham is the best eva

[loserrxfaceex3]

I love the Monty Python reference.

[DEATH2B0TS]

"But your dead"No im not I feel fine "But your all bone" Its a flesh wound

[OfficalGir]

I LOVE ACHMED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!­!!!!!!!!

[kaylagrace118]

LOL EVERY TIME I SEE THIS I SWEAR THOSE PUPPETS ARE ALIVE

[cofiebean]

yes yes and the winner had to fight michael jackson hahaha halirous

[Simplecompexity]

I'm not being raciest here, but why do the terrorists do what they do if islam is a peaceful religion?

[SolarGhost789]

@Simplecompexity That's what I asked a Muslim friend of mine, and she said they've misinterpreted it so badly that they've twisted it.

[Brickmasterz780]

SILENCE!!!!!!!!! I KEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEL YOUUUUUUU! ello im Lindsay LoHHan!

[lammypooh124]

SILENCE I KILL U!!!! :-]

[jkilmer888]

1 thing to say HILARIOUS

[omar5518]

@artfulver:such a comment but i agree

[SuperCariella]

i like puppets

[arviekatem]

SiLence i kill you !! :))

[suzy08339]

@arviekatem no it's "silence i kell you!"

[theattackerspwnage]

knock knock, whos there, me i kill you :-)

[ssaykcul]

I love how he says "I kill you!".

[opiate4damasses]

@ssaykcul YOU FUCKIN DOUCHE I SAW YOU STEAL THAT SOAP AND IMMA TAKE IT AND RUB IT ON MY TAINT AND MAKE YOU EAT IT!!!!!!!

[DespicableJessica]

uhhh A...uhh C....Flem.... SILENCE i kill you.

LOL Omfg <3

[vlip622]

This guy is hilarious!! Im still laughing

[xiao7471]

lmfao @3:00 STOP TUCHING ME!!

[LostEpsilon]

Did he say all the virgins were female? OH CRAP!

[dhjustin]

sooo who can i kill for a klondike bar? lol :P

[arkangel0416]

SILENCE I KILLL YOU!!!!

[TheEmilymolly]

he has a son now

[reptile4u09]

i love this vid so much so funny :)

[Adamprosser1]

i kill you

[NLopes23]

who ever is a terrorist is a dumb ass

[mizardmaster]

I wish I saw achmed on tv he is so funny

[mjrlaces]

jeff dunham is always at his best

[nazofun]

"i did this with two catholic preist but instead i threw in a little boy"

SO FUNNY!

[dancerules09]

this is amense

[rexxar624]

I kill you! lolz XD

[AndreaWalls20]

bahahahahahah I am justin bieber

[davidbehman]

search The BURNT TWINKIE EATER

[thecatofwisdom]

those eyebrows are priceless!

[fluffyguy24]

stop touchin me!!!!! i keel u!!!!

[pupppetmaster12]

@moontather44 go to hill?

[101limegreen]

LOL

[thefourthmealer]

10 people are terrorists

[meahmay]

Soooo funny

[dbzcrazy1000]

10 people missed the like button

[marnars1]

i keel u

[mariajosefe1]

sdsd

[softblladdict]

i love this!!! (((:

[BaNdIt240297]

damn funny, "Goddamn it!" OH, I mean "Alah damn it" LFMAO xD

[sakisz750]

ax0a0x0ax0a0x0a0xa0x0ax0ax0a0x­a0x!!!!!!!!!!!

[valchau2001]

I LOVE IT!!!

[2ColouredAnimal]

Jeff : so, achmed you are a terrorist?

Achmed : no i dont think so?

Jeff : why?

Achmed : Look at my ass, it says "made in china"

[clubpenguinrocksme1]

jeffdunham:sit still. achmed:ok, i will not move my ass!

funny!!!!! XD

[oilucky1]

how do u spell it A C FLEM lol

[IEatHarlots]

@oilucky1 phlegm the real spelling is as disgusting as phlegm itself lol

[1CREATUREOFNIGHT1]

Me= 'Do you know what Achmed's cousin says?'

My friend= "No, what?'

Me= "Silence,i screw you!!!'

[AdzioTheStalker]

Achmed rocks i was pissing my self laughing when i was watching it

[lilracso]

fuck you!! races bitch.

[pigpal2]

I am a terrorist.

what kind of terrorist?

a terrifying... terrorist.

LOL ROFL

SILENCE I KILL YOU

[samasomal1]

this is funny so funny i was laughing  for a week haaaaaaaaaaaaa

[mady2244]

hellooooooooo i am linsey lohan

[cammimai86]

its comedy stop watching it if you dont fuckin like it no one is forcing you to sit in front of your computer ... go ruin someone elses time you pessimistic pricks

[reptile4u09]

this is a good vid it is very funny 5 out of 5

[gingerfoxable]

knock knock

who's there?

Me! I kill you!

[libancall]

im a muslim and thats funny as hell

not racist

[fai9alinho]

Me too

[moblue87]

racist crowd

[mengawi]

u found that funny coz its not make jocks on ur religion , but make on mine , thats a shit

[artful5ver]

This clip is not mocking anyone's religion. His name is Achmed the Dead Terrorist, not Achmed the Muslim, or Achmed the Wiccan, or Achmed the Straight Edge Vegan. If your religion is TERRORISM, than yes, he's making fun of you.

I'm Christian, people make fun of me and my religion all the time. I somehow manage without getting all upset OR cutting anyone's head off.

[shrek4101]

@artful5ver

he says Ahla or how ever you spell it.

It's clearly poking fun at the islamic religion.

[ialbo]

@shrek4101 , you're right, he's laughing about islam, but isn't islam so funny??? lol

[lordpatrice]

@shrek4101 who fucking cares, its funny, it would be funny if he had done it with a priest and priest jokes ... When do people stop caring about religion...

[imsk8er1]

@artful5ver i totally agree with you but it does say something "allah damnit" so that could be effective

[HurrikanEagle]

@artful5ver Actually it is very much mocking extremist Muslim religion. You can tell due to the iconography and images used. The Turban, Beard and mention of suicide bombers alludes to American Stereotype of terrorist atm. They point to someone of middle eastern ancestry, especially when you include the name.

The fact that YOU don't get offended when someone makes fun of Christianity also does not mean that others don't get offended.

Please think before you post next time.

[SolarGhost789]

@HurrikanEagle Notice; it's mocking extremists. Not Islam on the whole. Civil Muslims don't much like the terrorists either.

[artful5ver]

@HurrikanEagle

Muslim extremists are terrorists. You're arguing MY point. Abandon the original religion and head out to the lunatic fringe to justify your own violent agenda by blowing people up, you're not a muslim anymore. You're a terrorist.

Muslims are great, I don't poke fun at them. Terrorists suck, and I'm comfortable poking fun at them. Notice we're having a rational conversation? That's 'cause neither one of us is a muslim extremist. If I was, my reply would be "Silence! I KEEL YOU!"

[SoloWing808]

@artful5ver Terrorism (noun): The systematic use of violent acts, such as bombing, committed by groups in order to intimidate a population or government into granting their demands.

According to this definition, the US government has been committing acts of terrorism since it was formed.

[m8o8c8k8]

@artful5ver 2 top comments. your awsome sir

[sh9683]

@artful5ver yeah well christian extremists are terrorist as well just look at all who joined the war

[Fordfanforlife777]

@HurrikanEagle not every muslim is a terrorist, but ever terrorist is a muslim...

[munda1999]

@Fordfanforlife777 untrue,some are osama