the same thing goes for strict bttms, aka power bttms. i can speak for such people bcuz im one. pwr bttms strictly dont like doin the penetration maybe bcuz we have a small penis or bcuz we are minuite men and dont wanne displease our partners. we become long lasting and bottoms and it is to satisfy our tops.......
All Inahve to say is you dumb bitchs comment on here. Listen if your strict top at one point in time you got fuck in the ass and didn't like it thats want he trying to say . bottoms like taking the dick so whats the problem you like what you like
i dnt kno where u live but i aint seen a gay person yet in the d except them prostitutes so fuq u bitch im straight and the world aint coming gay if it is imready to go to heaven where tha straights at
wtf i have never had my butt penetrated no dick has never touched my low area and no one but girls ever touched my ass and dint even kno wat a strict top is bro im 100% straight bro and wtf why are u puttin dis on youtube where kids can see it no offense but not every wants to be homo like i dont 4 example and not no everybody flip flop im never gay 24/7 straight
@antjuan908 I know what you said ... I was just fuckin wit ya then... Fuck yo homophobic ass bitch....just so you know... the world is becoming GAY...so yay fuck hataz like u
oh and i also believe that strict tops or bottoms out there should switch roles at least one and try it,u may end up liking it but u wont know unless you try(be sure to be safe do)
i use to think that im a top and that there was no way id go bottom,but know thanks to my bf i know can say i love the to be a flip flop lol,i giv wat i get and i dnt send things that i dnt recive lol,u do it out of love and pleasure and if it is a closed relationship then no1 esle should no about it unless u spill the beans about it.i cnt see how it would rob ur masculinity away
i loved this video. its my first time watching you and i know ill watch you again. I know for a fact that there are tops out there that have never been fucked in there life. Its just there preference. But i do believe that for the man man type of tops that wont do is because they dont want there masculinity taken from them. which i think is dumb. I only fucked my man once and im a vers. bottom. i wish i could do it again but i guess it makes him feel like a bitch.
I like your opinion and you are right any top guy in their life has been a bottom I love this video and your opinion and also I think ur cute holla at me aiight ;)
I am with you on the ass thing...Damn, I know I can eat some ass non stop. I have had dudes lay there while watching entire movies while I went to town...lol
I have to disagree..you made some good points but I think you're also doing is closing and narrowing the TENT in the gay world...the gay WORLD has EVERYTHING. Some bi men have NEVER been in a sexual relationship with a man where they were penetrated. Now whether they desire it, that's a different story. Unfortunately it puts limits on sex, however being gay is a discovery phase and it does take time. I'm sure you know that some people start out on one end and as they grow feelings change
Well it stands to reason that if there are strict bottoms there must be an animal called a "strict top". And then there are those who switch hit. It's always been that way and always will be. I believe that there are some guys who may have bottomed in their past and didn't like and decided to be strict tops going forward. so it's not so much what you've done but what you currently do.
there's a book called "in the land of god and man: confronting our sexual culture" by silvana paternostro that spends a lot of pages discussing what it means to be a "top" or a "bottom", among other things, in a culture that revolves around machismo. it's one of the most well-written non-fiction books i've ever read, and also one of the most thought provoking. you might like it, if you haven't already read it.
also, i didn't realise there were so many men within the gay scene who id so extremely as "tops that they resist even having their asses touched. (paternostro's book deals largely with men who id as straight but fuck men and boys on the side, using sex to establish power dynamics over other males.)
it seems so strange to me that a person could go through the mental and emotional gymnastics that it takes to acknowledge one's non-heterosexuality and still come out so arbitrarily heteronormative.
this a good video and i don't like labels... how can you say you only a strict top or strict bottom and you can't talk to someone of the same role is crazy... if you look at it thats what hetorsexuals think of us. "how can two people of the same sex be together or have sex...."
well. i disagree with your theses...since you decided to use the phrase "life time" you must consider age, and you must also consider what the guy in question definition of "strict top" means to/ for them...some of are "social constructionists" (definitions vary, dependent on self-agency, body, time, age, etc) and some of us are "essentialist" (defining top is ubiquitous).
I'm so glad someone else feels the same way ... If we are in love isn't the basis of that we want to "Do For" each other and make each other happy ... We're both men and we both have needs ya know but i guess this is just another way of showing that the actual DATING and getting to know someone before you sleep with them is still an issuse within our community as well
There is all kinds in the Gay community. I have meet LOT of strict bottom...Strict tops are rare but they are out there...Some men don't have a desire for a penis in their rectum...Let's keep is that way!! There are too many bottoms in the gay community.
A friend of mine told me that he bases that on how masculine the brotha is he meets. So the idea of a dude that is more feminine than him penetrating him is a total turnoff so he will say he is a strict top but if the guy is as masculine or more masculine than he is, he is more turned on by the idea of being penetrated.
i think it deals with machismo, and internal homophobia, and subscribing to heteronormative norms..they see it as more "feminine" they want to be the "man" of the relationship.
There's also some power issues at play.
Also I've heard "bottom" used as a pejorative among gays.
What is behind all this? You seem to be taking the topic a little to personal sweetie. And what are you drinking? Ok who told you no? Who are you referring too? Honey you are too funny! Sometimes it just tickles when somebody touches your booty. Hehee!
I like the point u brought up about relationships where u automatically know the rules of the bed... That really sux.. I can tell you from experience... anyways... I suppose that I am "strictly bottom" bc maybe I havent gotten the chance to be on the other side... I know you were talking about strictly tops but I just thought about how it is in reverse... Love you video...
i just want you to know what i have been watching all your videos all day.. you have me hooked.. lol i hated youtube but you have all my attention... anyways i respect everything you talk about and your so funny.. loved the shower and the watermelon video i believe its Ready for Love.. HOT..
I have a bisexual friend who says he never got penetrated except for one time when someone gave him knock out drops and had his cherry. He was offended not by being penetrated but because it was involuntary and they guy didn't use protection & could have given him AIDS. "Strict tops" get spoiled because a lot of bottoms really like the idea that their "man" is always a top--expecially Spanish queens like tops who don't reciprocate even with oral sex.
this my second time watching, and sometimes its become natural to some dudes never to be penetrated. but sometimes i known a lot of tops that have become versitile because they tried it and liked it. so you never know.
I'm a strict bttm lol. I have no interest in fucking a guy and I have never done it!. a strict top is just for me. i stay clear of vers guys. vers guys are so judgmental and like to tell other folk about labels or what they should do.
But, you're missing the point of Xem's vlog. He's asking the rhetorical question, "Is there such a thing as a 'strict' top?".
The man you're having sex with my tell you that he's a strict top, but he could be lying to you. And be honest, TMOM, you know you don't care if the guy is a strict top or versatile. It seems to me that, for you, at the end of the day his ability to give your pleasure is what's important, right?
Oh my. His your comment doesn't even need to be said. Yes there are tops that have never been penetrated. Just because your group of associates have done it all at one time or another doesn't mean they are the totality of the gay community or the world at large. Man this is a dumb video posting.
I do understand that we put ourselves in categories to make the whole sexual encounter more comfortable and less confusing, but we really do need to move away from that because, as Xem's mentioned, there's more than one way to enjoy ourselves, as gay men, in the bedroom. I don't care; I'll top and I'll bottom. Particularly if I'm really feeling the man I'm with, I'll do what makes the experience more sensual. It's all about the closeness and the pleasure, not necessarily positions.
Sure. Why not? I do not have sex outside of relationships anyway, so if my guy has a 4-incher, we'll have to make it work somehow. Otherwise, we use dildos. It's not the end of the world.
Thank you for enlightening me...I have a question: How does a man know whether he's a top or bottom if he hasn't tried it?? Saw the vid with you and Marvin... How is he??... I miss him ;oD
I hate labels as well, but it is what it is, and I beleive if your a top, 9 times out of 10, you have been penetrated at least ounce for you to call yourself an top because you have had to try it before you dislike it so "strictly"~! straight up.
The Question is Are you a total top, NOT have you ever had a dick in your ass b4... Some people lie about their sexual role but not all. Maybe to know that you are a total top, you would have had to have been on the other side. I feel that we as a people sometimes blame the world for our short falls, to comment on another part of this clip. A lot of young gay men and women tune in to you and respect your wisdom. Choose wisely what you decide to put out there. LOVE YOU!!!!!!!
Ya, bottoming was an acquired taste for me. It took me years to really enjoy it. I met a total top once who told me he'd never tried bottoming and I asked why and he said:
"Have you ever been with a woman?"
"No."
"Why not?"
"No interest."
"Exactly."
So I guess some of those total top guys just aren't even curious about how it would feel...
Hey XEM, kewl topic...I think that its a situation where many guys whoa re tops think that if they admit that they have bottom, it will take creditability from their tophood, but I think it's a shame
WOW you blew me away with the comment talking about you like to eat ass.. OMG>.REALLY...Xem... you just put that out there like that.. thats wasssup though.. lol
this is such a good topic to talk about because it is so sad that men find their ass to be this sacred place that no hand or tongue shall ever go....Grow Up!!!!!!!!
I just luv luv luv u xem, so much! One of my friends turned me on to your videos and blog, and I have just been overhwlemed with ur honesty, experience and utter brilliance. please continue to be a voice in our community that is so raw and sincere. people are going to continue to hate against u because not only are u attractive, but ur also extremely intelligent and well spoken. i love and appreciate this topic. i cant wait for u to return on may 5th!
...and BITTER Im sure. We LOVE Xem. If you don't, please refrain from leaving such negative and ridiculous messages on his Videos. Would you rather he make videos where he sounds unsure of himself? Would it make you feel better if he dumbed himself down to feed your insecurities? Move on brotha. Move on.
Umm...If you have watched the majority of his videos you would know that he knows quite a bit. He is a powerful force in our community, and inspires many of us. U must be NEW. I think Xem is 27. How old are U?
I feel that there is no strick top boy please it is what it is....For me I am a bottom but i have top before yes I want to eat ass too for the man I love but thats just me so yes you speak the truth.
Xem, You know im settin here listenin to ur video- askin myself. (HOW DO U KNOW YOUR A STRICT TOP IF YOU,VE NEVER EVEN TRIED BEING PENETRATED!) Even for a few seconds like you said?
there are some strict tops, most are lying! im versatile, i dont know why ppl lie, may be because in society the bottom is seen as the bottom of the relationship - ur seen as the weaker link
It looks like theres more tops than bottoms. something i don't really like about some TOPS is that they call the bottoms "bitches" or their "Hoes" it's just pathetic..
Xem you are on point. I questioned the gay community also ( I thought being gay meant that you could get away from labels and rules) . I'm a top but I have tried the bottom position before as well but I can't get the thrill or pleasure of it.
well as a top sir, im not fond of my ass being touched either. reason being, I am self conscious about my booty. but also, my partner is a vers/bottom and doesn't like his dick touched. I guess its just a preference that some people have. One of those unexplained phenomena of the world.
I am a very open minded person and I know that every gay man has his own sexual preference. I support that there may very well be a fraction of men who just simply are strict tops. Some men experienced traumatic molestation or possibly were raped as children and because of that, they may seem less comfortable with being touched in that area.
Some guys may have never had it before But I will tell anyone Yes I have had it inside me but I did it just 2 make another dude happy and i am not afraid 2 say it felt good But I know now I am a TOp and guys should not do anything that they don't want 2 do just because you are really feeling a guy does not mean you should do something you don't want 2 do.If you are verse mess with another verse guy and Bottoms mess with total TOPs and viceverse that way their is no confusion when sex is involved
At some point I hope we can graduate from this old adage that if a dude is a strict top he must have issues with his masculinity. Whatever happened to peeps just liking what they like. There are plenty of strict bottoms who love strict tops. Let us continue to do what we do while ya'll verse cats keep having each other. Sorry but having a dick lodged in my ass don't appeal to me. If somebody is feeling me but can't respect that then I'm not the dude for him and he ain't for me. Good job Xem!
I am a top and yes I have had the ding ding inside me But I am a total TOP when u are single u may do things just 2 hook someone .... Yes Bottoms may have more fun because u get 2 jack off and get FU%KED and that feels real good BUT I enjoy toping and thank God my partner is a total bottom and he will not TOP. Some guys are afraid of someone mistaking them as a bottom and thats why they don't like ass play.I have ass and I am aproached by tops all the time and I let them know I am a top as well
Very nice video Xem, My boyfriend is a TOP i dont know if he's ever been a bttm for anyone before its a question i never really wanted to ask but i think i am going to tonight LOL. He is the kinda top that doesnt let everyone touch his ass but me i can cuz he loves me. we have that kinda relationship that wut he does to me i can kinda do to him. but i dont wanna top or eat him lol and he sure as hell doesnt want that but i can touch on his butt. he has cakes! lol lol.
I know i'm not a top either , but just want to try and knock some sense in you guys. This is one of the main reasons society has a problem with the gay male community. And we would all be better off for that reason and our own health if our perception of anal sex changed. You dont need it. peace.
this is true, but hetereosexual couples do anal sex as well because of the extra pleasure. but i heard its only dangerous if the person is more than 61/2 to 7 inches(depending on the person). thats what i heard. my friend told me it was just rectal damage and bleeding i think. if not done right. i never did anything with a dude, but their will always be curiosity at first. im just saying. even though i have no experience
Taysh0nOutlaw, hah it's funny how you say "NO", like you actually know. There is such a thing, some dudes like myself have the sense to know before they ever get in a relationship, that anal sex is not for them. And that it's destructive and dangerous. I dont want to Fuk anyone in the ass, and Im definetly not gettin Fuked in the ass. Sorry for you if you got raped.
This is the ONLY thing that embaresses me about people knowing im gay, is that anal sex is considered the gay norm.
Xem, I live for your delivery and perspective, DOWNe, but why is it so hard to believe strict tops exist? I know plenty of bottoms who do NOT like their penises touched AT ALL. If they exist, I am sure there are "don't touch my booty, don't penetrate me" tops that exist also. I don't know if it is conditioned behavior or biological behavior, it just is what it is.
Anyhow, the whole label thing annoys me FIERCELY. I wish our community would do away with it.
I do feel like in this situation we (the ethnic gay community) bring past social norms into an alternative lifestyle that is already unpopular to the majorityso destructive.
You're hilarious, are you drunk? Probally not, but you are so adorable when you get on your rampage. I for one don't think is is such an animal as a "strict top". If there is, he obviously has'nt met me.
Wow you do real talk ...that was an interesting question .......I recall years ago the saying was ....."Todays top is tomorrow's bottom " I think some of that "strict top " bravado is based on that ....just a thought!..stay blessed and good luck on the screen play....Kai
to answer your question "NO" in two cases...one most dudes are raped...like myself so I wasnt willin but I have been there...not after that...and on the other hand some dudes try it to see where they wanna be...so no there is not
I find it that a top not being touched is highly over rated because when i first started out in the game i was a bottom and now i'm a top so when i look for a guy i let them know that i'm vers but i never came croos a top who don't like they ass to be touched which is totally undermining and demeaning.I also agree with stephen514 which ever guy i'm feeling i'm going to top or bottom and i expect them to do the same i rarely fool with strict tops anyway but it needs to change for the better.
some people only do oral. some people aren't into penetration at all. So, if someone chooses to be a top only or a bottom only, what's wrong with that. If you're not compatible with them, then you know they aren't the one for you. My feeling is, if people are rigid in their sexuality, they are rigid in other ares of life. There are people who who WOULD be compatible with them, so leave them be so they can connect up with the ones they can be happy with.
YES XEM LEAD THE WAY I just read your post on your website i am proud of you i am behind you 110 percent i want to be Screenwriter as well, when you start filming let me know i would love to help anyway i can
all the tops i messed with liked getting their ass ate or was either open to the idea never meet one who wasnt they was not open to getting penetrated but def liked getting it touched etc
Well if you cant' hear about gay stuffs , why do you need to watch what he says. Don't you see his posts are for the gay community, if you can't here gay stuffs this is not your place , don't watch his posts.
Let me tell you...About these "Strict Tops"...Just because they wont let you..or Him..or Me top them,does not mean they dont get topped...They just dont want that person to do it..Its much easier to say I dont do it at all..than I just dont want you to top me..
its true, im verse and depending on the guy im messing with i'll decide if i want to bottom or top. i like certain guys to top and certain guys to bottom. u either fit into 1 or the other on very rare occasions does some1 fit into both
I think a strict Top is like a needle in a haystack, truely hard to find. In my experinces I like to test the so call top with a little tounge and 99.9% of the time the legs went straight to the ceiling faster then a bottom (Yes I am that good..lol) As for the community I see everyone is moving toward being Versitile which for many would be the best of both worlds.
I agree with Parrish. Versatiles UNITE!! And yes, it's very limiting. What's up with not even being allowed to even touch their ass-cheek. Me too Xem, rimming & kissing. Those items are the bomb! ~Calvin~
Good topic.....and most gays aint gonna come clean wit it.....but behind door.....some of those so called top be beggin to bend over....ask me how I know been there and done that......ok
I think that theyre are strick tops out there who have never been a bottom but they are probebly very rare and will become rarer because if your the same thing over and over again, that would just get boring wouldn't it?
This is a really good topic, but I mean let's be real there are some guys out there that just bring up the "top" deffense, because maybe perhaps the dick is too big? lol I mean, there are people who are scared, but my biggest issue with the gay community is that what the fuck is a "downlow"? I mean why would you even want to hide your sexuality in that way, that's like being an undercover hoe, is it not? lol Tell me what you think if you have time please....
Ayo bro i saw the post on face book. As a top/vers myself i have been with a strict top. Well he was bisexual if u want to say he said that he just likes to fuck and he dont care who it is. Ive tried being a bottom within 2 seconds it just didnt work lol. But im with you in the bed i like to feel the person as a whole and me limited to just touching everything but their ass kinda kills it. But hey the same happens in reverse some bottoms dont let you touch their dick ive been there aswell
I share your views on penetration and ass eating!
deshawn18 1 week ago
the same thing goes for strict bttms, aka power bttms. i can speak for such people bcuz im one. pwr bttms strictly dont like doin the penetration maybe bcuz we have a small penis or bcuz we are minuite men and dont wanne displease our partners. we become long lasting and bottoms and it is to satisfy our tops.......
PianomanRay 1 week ago
One of the realest videos
MrJason300 3 months ago in playlist More videos from XemVanAdams
lmao at neighbors who might pass his house and wonder what the hell he's yelling about xD
MrJason300 3 months ago in playlist More videos from XemVanAdams
R u drunk?
sunshineonearth789 9 months ago
All Inahve to say is you dumb bitchs comment on here. Listen if your strict top at one point in time you got fuck in the ass and didn't like it thats want he trying to say . bottoms like taking the dick so whats the problem you like what you like
BadBoyJ17ful 9 months ago
I NEVER BEEN PENETRATED EVER AND IM BEING HONEST AND I NEVER WILL I LIKE WHAT I LIKE SO U CANT SAY THAT U DONT BELIEVE THAT
dmanabc3 10 months ago
You yell alot. Are you angry, or is your dad a Baptist minister?
Alexisme1001 1 year ago 2
This has been flagged as spam show
Why are you so fucking loud??
rodentcafeteria 1 year ago
i dnt kno where u live but i aint seen a gay person yet in the d except them prostitutes so fuq u bitch im straight and the world aint coming gay if it is imready to go to heaven where tha straights at
antjuan908 1 year ago
EAT ME! PUHLEEZ
TuscanWonder995 1 year ago
wtf i have never had my butt penetrated no dick has never touched my low area and no one but girls ever touched my ass and dint even kno wat a strict top is bro im 100% straight bro and wtf why are u puttin dis on youtube where kids can see it no offense but not every wants to be homo like i dont 4 example and not no everybody flip flop im never gay 24/7 straight
antjuan908 1 year ago
@antjuan908 Fuck u bitch ... you dumb bitch.. you ho... im neva gay im 29/7 str8... fuck you... you gay.. you so gay... you stoopid bitch .. fuck you
TuscanWonder995 1 year ago
@TuscanWonder995 shut yo hoe ass up didnt i just say i wuznt gay wit yo bitch ass internet banger
antjuan908 1 year ago
@antjuan908 I know what you said ... I was just fuckin wit ya then... Fuck yo homophobic ass bitch....just so you know... the world is becoming GAY...so yay fuck hataz like u
TuscanWonder995 1 year ago
I never been did from behind ever lol. I'm not strict thow they touch all you want.
MegaUnknownable 1 year ago
why the fuck are you yelling?
dude your talking about ass fucking
and the way your talking looks like its martin luther king
STOP YELLING!!! be gentile (i like it gentile hehehehe)
byeeeee jesse from israel :-)
jessescapone 1 year ago
I bet your books suck
fatmanquawn 1 year ago
I am a true versitile I like both equally and most ppl I met are veratile and I love all your videos and as a comment I think you are a fine brotha.
TheRebelde75 1 year ago
5:19 ha!
JerryAshlee 1 year ago
oh and i also believe that strict tops or bottoms out there should switch roles at least one and try it,u may end up liking it but u wont know unless you try(be sure to be safe do)
doomheartotter 1 year ago
i use to think that im a top and that there was no way id go bottom,but know thanks to my bf i know can say i love the to be a flip flop lol,i giv wat i get and i dnt send things that i dnt recive lol,u do it out of love and pleasure and if it is a closed relationship then no1 esle should no about it unless u spill the beans about it.i cnt see how it would rob ur masculinity away
doomheartotter 1 year ago
i loved this video. its my first time watching you and i know ill watch you again. I know for a fact that there are tops out there that have never been fucked in there life. Its just there preference. But i do believe that for the man man type of tops that wont do is because they dont want there masculinity taken from them. which i think is dumb. I only fucked my man once and im a vers. bottom. i wish i could do it again but i guess it makes him feel like a bitch.
DomiLove420 2 years ago
I like your opinion and you are right any top guy in their life has been a bottom I love this video and your opinion and also I think ur cute holla at me aiight ;)
emanspinners1 2 years ago
I am with you on the ass thing...Damn, I know I can eat some ass non stop. I have had dudes lay there while watching entire movies while I went to town...lol
andante24 2 years ago
I am so in agrrement with your views...and sidebar; you're fuckin' that cooler up! LOL. Nevertheless I enjoy your video.
joey2xs 2 years ago
lol... you seem mad?
grego828 2 years ago
I have to disagree..you made some good points but I think you're also doing is closing and narrowing the TENT in the gay world...the gay WORLD has EVERYTHING. Some bi men have NEVER been in a sexual relationship with a man where they were penetrated. Now whether they desire it, that's a different story. Unfortunately it puts limits on sex, however being gay is a discovery phase and it does take time. I'm sure you know that some people start out on one end and as they grow feelings change
FrontPageStatuz 2 years ago
are u drinking smirnoff lol
delvarius3 2 years ago 4
NEVER BEEN PENETRATED....
dogteam30 2 years ago
"Tops & bottoms". Okay, thank U 4 clearing that up 4 me.
kievia04 2 years ago 2
how does what someone does in their bedroom affect u? Ur screaming? lol
cornrowedlowe 2 years ago
It effects him when he goes on dates with those people.
andante24 2 years ago
Well it stands to reason that if there are strict bottoms there must be an animal called a "strict top". And then there are those who switch hit. It's always been that way and always will be. I believe that there are some guys who may have bottomed in their past and didn't like and decided to be strict tops going forward. so it's not so much what you've done but what you currently do.
desertflow3r 2 years ago
ur so real with your videos. keep doing ur thing.
KYMA88 2 years ago 11
"I can eat ass all day long"....YES SIRRR, where you live again..lol.
barbarasboi 2 years ago 17
keep makin vids...i luv 'em
jayomayo21 2 years ago 4
there's a book called "in the land of god and man: confronting our sexual culture" by silvana paternostro that spends a lot of pages discussing what it means to be a "top" or a "bottom", among other things, in a culture that revolves around machismo. it's one of the most well-written non-fiction books i've ever read, and also one of the most thought provoking. you might like it, if you haven't already read it.
emmetgirl 2 years ago
also, i didn't realise there were so many men within the gay scene who id so extremely as "tops that they resist even having their asses touched. (paternostro's book deals largely with men who id as straight but fuck men and boys on the side, using sex to establish power dynamics over other males.)
it seems so strange to me that a person could go through the mental and emotional gymnastics that it takes to acknowledge one's non-heterosexuality and still come out so arbitrarily heteronormative.
emmetgirl 2 years ago 2
this a good video and i don't like labels... how can you say you only a strict top or strict bottom and you can't talk to someone of the same role is crazy... if you look at it thats what hetorsexuals think of us. "how can two people of the same sex be together or have sex...."
Justinj1232 2 years ago
well. i disagree with your theses...since you decided to use the phrase "life time" you must consider age, and you must also consider what the guy in question definition of "strict top" means to/ for them...some of are "social constructionists" (definitions vary, dependent on self-agency, body, time, age, etc) and some of us are "essentialist" (defining top is ubiquitous).
BlaqueButter 2 years ago
Damn Brotha, Lighten up
Labell9014 2 years ago 2
i dont like labels, theres not such thing as top and bottom to me
mrmannyman 2 years ago 4
you've got lots of passion!
i love it!
lol (:
marudell 2 years ago 2
I'm so glad someone else feels the same way ... If we are in love isn't the basis of that we want to "Do For" each other and make each other happy ... We're both men and we both have needs ya know but i guess this is just another way of showing that the actual DATING and getting to know someone before you sleep with them is still an issuse within our community as well
pjynr 2 years ago
There is all kinds in the Gay community. I have meet LOT of strict bottom...Strict tops are rare but they are out there...Some men don't have a desire for a penis in their rectum...Let's keep is that way!! There are too many bottoms in the gay community.
allTRIPLE1 2 years ago
Im a stricked bottom and the tops Ive been with have never complained about touching their ass.
carrington45 2 years ago
A friend of mine told me that he bases that on how masculine the brotha is he meets. So the idea of a dude that is more feminine than him penetrating him is a total turnoff so he will say he is a strict top but if the guy is as masculine or more masculine than he is, he is more turned on by the idea of being penetrated.
kirz778 2 years ago 3
Always on point.
josephjmg18 2 years ago
Great Video
I just told a brutha to step for this very reason. "dont touch my ass" LOL KICK ROCKS.
Whats done to me needs to be done to you. I hate roles, We cant we just flow and be? Great video
Kengikat 2 years ago
i really agree with ur video i love it
uapbfinest 2 years ago
right on man. i feel your passion
i think it deals with machismo, and internal homophobia, and subscribing to heteronormative norms..they see it as more "feminine" they want to be the "man" of the relationship.
There's also some power issues at play.
Also I've heard "bottom" used as a pejorative among gays.
astrolabe1976 2 years ago 2
100% agree
yoboimigi 2 years ago
i agree to the upmost. There is no thing has a strict top. In the Gay community
judasum 2 years ago
im gonna marry you if your single top bottom i dont care i could listen to you all day and then those eyes !!!!!
DrunkeyO 2 years ago
them tops who been pentrated are simply versatile...thats wat it sounds like
breybrey2dajizzay 2 years ago
lol ur not the only one who like to eat ass.
lllljjjjhhhh 2 years ago 2
What is behind all this? You seem to be taking the topic a little to personal sweetie. And what are you drinking? Ok who told you no? Who are you referring too? Honey you are too funny! Sometimes it just tickles when somebody touches your booty. Hehee!
sedecim 2 years ago
i love being penetrated, AND WHAT!! lol
tdottle246 2 years ago 4
DAMN!! lol!! totally feel you on that one though!
conspiracylife13 2 years ago
What about strict bottoms? Something to think about.
AndStillEyeRise 2 years ago
LOL were you drinking vodka?
DukeAlba 2 years ago
Maybe too much, i would say, but he is cool, well not when he taped this but over all he is cool. hahahaha.
bigphat200 2 years ago
dis nigga is da truth. smirnoff an all .LOL
GrimeyLikeMildew 2 years ago
I like the point u brought up about relationships where u automatically know the rules of the bed... That really sux.. I can tell you from experience... anyways... I suppose that I am "strictly bottom" bc maybe I havent gotten the chance to be on the other side... I know you were talking about strictly tops but I just thought about how it is in reverse... Love you video...
cjstrickland879 2 years ago
omg i love ur point of views---i totally agree with u yo!
aronbrown1 2 years ago
Comment removed
spoiledbrat1981 2 years ago
This has been flagged as spam show
i just want you to know what i have been watching all your videos all day.. you have me hooked.. lol i hated youtube but you have all my attention... anyways i respect everything you talk about and your so funny.. loved the shower and the watermelon video i believe its Ready for Love.. HOT..
spoiledbrat1981 2 years ago
I have a bisexual friend who says he never got penetrated except for one time when someone gave him knock out drops and had his cherry. He was offended not by being penetrated but because it was involuntary and they guy didn't use protection & could have given him AIDS. "Strict tops" get spoiled because a lot of bottoms really like the idea that their "man" is always a top--expecially Spanish queens like tops who don't reciprocate even with oral sex.
RandolfeWicker 2 years ago
this my second time watching, and sometimes its become natural to some dudes never to be penetrated. but sometimes i known a lot of tops that have become versitile because they tried it and liked it. so you never know.
masterdoa 2 years ago
you are stereotypin alot of people..im sure there are strict tops out there who have never been penetrated
mkuwonder 2 years ago
Hey Babes - It's been a long time since I've commented...but yea - you're preaching - lol!
everydaycookin 2 years ago
Really Not A Such Thing As *"sTRICT TopS"*, iF your a strict top you were ounce ^*~ATLEAST~*^ once~!
mybro727 2 years ago
I came across ur vids once and then lost u. I'm happy 2discover u again...I best subscribe this time.
Seetdeh 2 years ago
I'm a strict bttm lol. I have no interest in fucking a guy and I have never done it!. a strict top is just for me. i stay clear of vers guys. vers guys are so judgmental and like to tell other folk about labels or what they should do.
TheMakingsofMyself 2 years ago
But, you're missing the point of Xem's vlog. He's asking the rhetorical question, "Is there such a thing as a 'strict' top?".
The man you're having sex with my tell you that he's a strict top, but he could be lying to you. And be honest, TMOM, you know you don't care if the guy is a strict top or versatile. It seems to me that, for you, at the end of the day his ability to give your pleasure is what's important, right?
cosmicviewer477 2 years ago
Oh my. His your comment doesn't even need to be said. Yes there are tops that have never been penetrated. Just because your group of associates have done it all at one time or another doesn't mean they are the totality of the gay community or the world at large. Man this is a dumb video posting.
jboazmajesty 2 years ago 4
Preach brutha!!!!!! I've flipped flopped so much over the years that I've busted the straps on those "flip flops..."
GoGoFiasco 2 years ago
I do understand that we put ourselves in categories to make the whole sexual encounter more comfortable and less confusing, but we really do need to move away from that because, as Xem's mentioned, there's more than one way to enjoy ourselves, as gay men, in the bedroom. I don't care; I'll top and I'll bottom. Particularly if I'm really feeling the man I'm with, I'll do what makes the experience more sensual. It's all about the closeness and the pleasure, not necessarily positions.
cosmicviewer477 2 years ago
so you would bttm for a guy with a 4 incher? lol
TheMakingsofMyself 2 years ago
Sure. Why not? I do not have sex outside of relationships anyway, so if my guy has a 4-incher, we'll have to make it work somehow. Otherwise, we use dildos. It's not the end of the world.
cosmicviewer477 2 years ago
Thank you for enlightening me...I have a question: How does a man know whether he's a top or bottom if he hasn't tried it?? Saw the vid with you and Marvin... How is he??... I miss him ;oD
SinnamonMami 2 years ago
I'm a top and have been penetrated 4 times over the last 23 years. I love bottoms that eat ass and that like to grab my ass while we make love.
strongforu 2 years ago
I hate labels as well, but it is what it is, and I beleive if your a top, 9 times out of 10, you have been penetrated at least ounce for you to call yourself an top because you have had to try it before you dislike it so "strictly"~! straight up.
mybro727 2 years ago
you are so fine i just had to say that
mybro727 2 years ago 2
Agreed. This guy is seriously beautiful.
2scoopz 2 years ago 2
titles are overrated next
shortyrock67 2 years ago
i luv watching your videos ur so real...much luck to you on your writing
SouthernCum4It 2 years ago 2
Miss Thing!!! LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL.. I'm def subscribing!!!
cjportmaria 2 years ago
cocktails honey cocktails!!!! lol
cjportmaria 2 years ago
sweety is that alcohol making you yell at the camera so angrily...lmao
Musicallystic 2 years ago 5
lol i noticed dat too lol!!!you can hear his voice echoing!
fineredboi21 2 years ago
ugh i hate labels!
PookSter18 2 years ago
i wish i had someone to show my love and passion to
damon8707 2 years ago
We need more strict tops!
TheProphetBlog 2 years ago 2
The Question is Are you a total top, NOT have you ever had a dick in your ass b4... Some people lie about their sexual role but not all. Maybe to know that you are a total top, you would have had to have been on the other side. I feel that we as a people sometimes blame the world for our short falls, to comment on another part of this clip. A lot of young gay men and women tune in to you and respect your wisdom. Choose wisely what you decide to put out there. LOVE YOU!!!!!!!
Only1Choyce 2 years ago
Comment removed
Only1Choyce 2 years ago
labels labels...more labels...
LilMarty1721 2 years ago
Ya, bottoming was an acquired taste for me. It took me years to really enjoy it. I met a total top once who told me he'd never tried bottoming and I asked why and he said:
"Have you ever been with a woman?"
"No."
"Why not?"
"No interest."
"Exactly."
So I guess some of those total top guys just aren't even curious about how it would feel...
dlversace 2 years ago 2
stop yelling
braaset 2 years ago 5
lol I guezz itz cuz hez drinking, but I noticed it too.
Liteskinnedfreakgay 2 years ago 2
XemVanAdams says the tops are the men who stick their dick in the ass of another man and the bottoms are a man
UTubeDrama website
sdfssfkjhkj 2 years ago
Hey XEM, kewl topic...I think that its a situation where many guys whoa re tops think that if they admit that they have bottom, it will take creditability from their tophood, but I think it's a shame
Kenovan07 2 years ago
WOW you blew me away with the comment talking about you like to eat ass.. OMG>.REALLY...Xem... you just put that out there like that.. thats wasssup though.. lol
dancehall4eva 2 years ago
this is such a good topic to talk about because it is so sad that men find their ass to be this sacred place that no hand or tongue shall ever go....Grow Up!!!!!!!!
tennislover08 2 years ago
damn u loud...hope the neighbors aint hear
lol
FASHIONSFLYEST 2 years ago
OMG U LIKE TO EAT LOL... THIS IS CRAZY XEM.... i love this vid cuz its soo reall and i can relate
PHImuALphaNeo07 2 years ago 2
This is a intense video. My poor innocent ears lol. I feel wat u sayin tho.
xXxXSHUGXxXx 2 years ago
I just luv luv luv u xem, so much! One of my friends turned me on to your videos and blog, and I have just been overhwlemed with ur honesty, experience and utter brilliance. please continue to be a voice in our community that is so raw and sincere. people are going to continue to hate against u because not only are u attractive, but ur also extremely intelligent and well spoken. i love and appreciate this topic. i cant wait for u to return on may 5th!
SenecaSoul21225 2 years ago
LOL, thank you Slammy, for saying what I was thinking but afraid to say.
StanleyT123 2 years ago 5
...and BITTER Im sure. We LOVE Xem. If you don't, please refrain from leaving such negative and ridiculous messages on his Videos. Would you rather he make videos where he sounds unsure of himself? Would it make you feel better if he dumbed himself down to feed your insecurities? Move on brotha. Move on.
Sebastian030683 2 years ago
Umm...If you have watched the majority of his videos you would know that he knows quite a bit. He is a powerful force in our community, and inspires many of us. U must be NEW. I think Xem is 27. How old are U?
Sebastian030683 2 years ago
i guess u going off lmao
sickiningmugg89 2 years ago
lol love the way your present yourself lol.
loved it bro
YouLive4us 2 years ago
I feel that there is no strick top boy please it is what it is....For me I am a bottom but i have top before yes I want to eat ass too for the man I love but thats just me so yes you speak the truth.
silkyblack2006 2 years ago
Xem, You know im settin here listenin to ur video- askin myself. (HOW DO U KNOW YOUR A STRICT TOP IF YOU,VE NEVER EVEN TRIED BEING PENETRATED!) Even for a few seconds like you said?
sweetdybear46 2 years ago
there are some strict tops, most are lying! im versatile, i dont know why ppl lie, may be because in society the bottom is seen as the bottom of the relationship - ur seen as the weaker link
tdottle246 2 years ago
yes the fuck it does count..amen thank you xem!!!!!
Seduction702 2 years ago
It looks like theres more tops than bottoms. something i don't really like about some TOPS is that they call the bottoms "bitches" or their "Hoes" it's just pathetic..
willycosme 2 years ago 3
Its the same thing with a bottom seriously. I know a dude I tried to be with doesn't want his dick sucked...or touched....
SavetheDream 2 years ago 2
being versatile is the way to go seriously. Sex is complicated by these "titles"...i dislike it all...but sex is sex. I love it all personally.
SavetheDream 2 years ago
LMAO LOVE THIS!!!
d3lyishere2012 2 years ago
One more thing, you would eat ass all day.lol do that XEM. BUT Im curious, do eating ass sometimes go wrong. you with the taste. im just asking.
masterdoa 2 years ago
Xem you are on point. I questioned the gay community also ( I thought being gay meant that you could get away from labels and rules) . I'm a top but I have tried the bottom position before as well but I can't get the thrill or pleasure of it.
csupernature 2 years ago
I Lovvvvvvvvvvveeeeeeeeeee How real you are! lol.... wow... thats all I can say!
Jazzmen63 2 years ago
well as a top sir, im not fond of my ass being touched either. reason being, I am self conscious about my booty. but also, my partner is a vers/bottom and doesn't like his dick touched. I guess its just a preference that some people have. One of those unexplained phenomena of the world.
baybboi1985 2 years ago 5
wow You is a little freak... wow eaten ass is the bizzz , I never ate ass but it does feel good too get it done.
hottest60 2 years ago 3
I am a very open minded person and I know that every gay man has his own sexual preference. I support that there may very well be a fraction of men who just simply are strict tops. Some men experienced traumatic molestation or possibly were raped as children and because of that, they may seem less comfortable with being touched in that area.
CjKaiTv 2 years ago
you answered my question in yr video. I'd like to meet you
btl1271 2 years ago
are you strictly a top?
btl1271 2 years ago
yea all about being fair. why limit yourself? i havent bottomed yet..but i want to.
biackdragon555 2 years ago
Some guys may have never had it before But I will tell anyone Yes I have had it inside me but I did it just 2 make another dude happy and i am not afraid 2 say it felt good But I know now I am a TOp and guys should not do anything that they don't want 2 do just because you are really feeling a guy does not mean you should do something you don't want 2 do.If you are verse mess with another verse guy and Bottoms mess with total TOPs and viceverse that way their is no confusion when sex is involved
erinnjay 2 years ago
At some point I hope we can graduate from this old adage that if a dude is a strict top he must have issues with his masculinity. Whatever happened to peeps just liking what they like. There are plenty of strict bottoms who love strict tops. Let us continue to do what we do while ya'll verse cats keep having each other. Sorry but having a dick lodged in my ass don't appeal to me. If somebody is feeling me but can't respect that then I'm not the dude for him and he ain't for me. Good job Xem!
vickerie1 2 years ago 2
I am a top and yes I have had the ding ding inside me But I am a total TOP when u are single u may do things just 2 hook someone .... Yes Bottoms may have more fun because u get 2 jack off and get FU%KED and that feels real good BUT I enjoy toping and thank God my partner is a total bottom and he will not TOP. Some guys are afraid of someone mistaking them as a bottom and thats why they don't like ass play.I have ass and I am aproached by tops all the time and I let them know I am a top as well
erinnjay 2 years ago 2
Very nice video Xem, My boyfriend is a TOP i dont know if he's ever been a bttm for anyone before its a question i never really wanted to ask but i think i am going to tonight LOL. He is the kinda top that doesnt let everyone touch his ass but me i can cuz he loves me. we have that kinda relationship that wut he does to me i can kinda do to him. but i dont wanna top or eat him lol and he sure as hell doesnt want that but i can touch on his butt. he has cakes! lol lol.
TWillz17 2 years ago
I know i'm not a top either , but just want to try and knock some sense in you guys. This is one of the main reasons society has a problem with the gay male community. And we would all be better off for that reason and our own health if our perception of anal sex changed. You dont need it. peace.
TBI01 2 years ago
this is true, but hetereosexual couples do anal sex as well because of the extra pleasure. but i heard its only dangerous if the person is more than 61/2 to 7 inches(depending on the person). thats what i heard. my friend told me it was just rectal damage and bleeding i think. if not done right. i never did anything with a dude, but their will always be curiosity at first. im just saying. even though i have no experience
masterdoa 2 years ago
i like how you have to keep sipping that smirnoff to get thru this topic LOL!!!
CriticAtLargeLA 2 years ago
Taysh0nOutlaw, hah it's funny how you say "NO", like you actually know. There is such a thing, some dudes like myself have the sense to know before they ever get in a relationship, that anal sex is not for them. And that it's destructive and dangerous. I dont want to Fuk anyone in the ass, and Im definetly not gettin Fuked in the ass. Sorry for you if you got raped.
This is the ONLY thing that embaresses me about people knowing im gay, is that anal sex is considered the gay norm.
TBI01 2 years ago
Xem, I live for your delivery and perspective, DOWNe, but why is it so hard to believe strict tops exist? I know plenty of bottoms who do NOT like their penises touched AT ALL. If they exist, I am sure there are "don't touch my booty, don't penetrate me" tops that exist also. I don't know if it is conditioned behavior or biological behavior, it just is what it is.
Anyhow, the whole label thing annoys me FIERCELY. I wish our community would do away with it.
violetsonsatellites 2 years ago
I do feel like in this situation we (the ethnic gay community) bring past social norms into an alternative lifestyle that is already unpopular to the majorityso destructive.
dwt432 2 years ago
You're hilarious, are you drunk? Probally not, but you are so adorable when you get on your rampage. I for one don't think is is such an animal as a "strict top". If there is, he obviously has'nt met me.
mmcgee70 2 years ago
Wow you do real talk ...that was an interesting question .......I recall years ago the saying was ....."Todays top is tomorrow's bottom " I think some of that "strict top " bravado is based on that ....just a thought!..stay blessed and good luck on the screen play....Kai
Backatwon 2 years ago
LOL so blunt, no suger coating, i luv it, eating ass is my thing too.
Greenterror 2 years ago
to answer your question "NO" in two cases...one most dudes are raped...like myself so I wasnt willin but I have been there...not after that...and on the other hand some dudes try it to see where they wanna be...so no there is not
Taysh0nOutlaw 2 years ago
kissin and eatin lol
jeriel789 2 years ago
You better tell it like it t-i-s. To Carlaboho it is time for someone to speak on the truth of the gay community. Tell it Xem.
vester83 2 years ago
i know you ain't drinking on this video! lol
IssuePlatter 2 years ago
"ACCEPT THE DICK"
"Do the PENETRATING in the ANUS" lol
IssuePlatter 2 years ago
I find it that a top not being touched is highly over rated because when i first started out in the game i was a bottom and now i'm a top so when i look for a guy i let them know that i'm vers but i never came croos a top who don't like they ass to be touched which is totally undermining and demeaning.I also agree with stephen514 which ever guy i'm feeling i'm going to top or bottom and i expect them to do the same i rarely fool with strict tops anyway but it needs to change for the better.
nastyboi27 2 years ago
some people only do oral. some people aren't into penetration at all. So, if someone chooses to be a top only or a bottom only, what's wrong with that. If you're not compatible with them, then you know they aren't the one for you. My feeling is, if people are rigid in their sexuality, they are rigid in other ares of life. There are people who who WOULD be compatible with them, so leave them be so they can connect up with the ones they can be happy with.
willboywonder 2 years ago
YES XEM LEAD THE WAY I just read your post on your website i am proud of you i am behind you 110 percent i want to be Screenwriter as well, when you start filming let me know i would love to help anyway i can
EHQUNDEH 2 years ago
all the tops i messed with liked getting their ass ate or was either open to the idea never meet one who wasnt they was not open to getting penetrated but def liked getting it touched etc
EHQUNDEH 2 years ago
You a mess..."ACCEPP DA DICK" lol.....
Jbunnyrabbit 2 years ago
illl nasty......is there anymore topics besides gay things for you to talk about
carlaboho 2 years ago
Well if you cant' hear about gay stuffs , why do you need to watch what he says. Don't you see his posts are for the gay community, if you can't here gay stuffs this is not your place , don't watch his posts.
ciel222 2 years ago
Comment removed
mybrotherskeepertv 2 years ago
TOPS dont exiest anymore all these flip flop transforming mutha fuckas need burie their self
4rm Ceddi ^_^
Ceddi4Life 2 years ago
"all these flip flop transforming mutha fuckas need burie their self"
so u don't like vers.tops then who flip flop from time to time ?
IssuePlatter 2 years ago
i hate strict tops because i like to grab the ass . . . . its a beautiful part of the body.
mjk0386 2 years ago
is dat a bottle of st. ives Malt liquor in ur hand Xem?
SeXxXy82 2 years ago
I thought it was a Smirnoff Ice.
313AKA 2 years ago
lol u might be rite either it's malt liquor lol
SeXxXy82 2 years ago
this right here is gospel Xem!!! u needed a mic so when u got done talking it could have it hit the floor LOL!!!
nonpareil313 2 years ago
Let me tell you...About these "Strict Tops"...Just because they wont let you..or Him..or Me top them,does not mean they dont get topped...They just dont want that person to do it..Its much easier to say I dont do it at all..than I just dont want you to top me..
jasechase21 2 years ago
Good point jasechase21.
sfcalvinaz 2 years ago
its true, im verse and depending on the guy im messing with i'll decide if i want to bottom or top. i like certain guys to top and certain guys to bottom. u either fit into 1 or the other on very rare occasions does some1 fit into both
stephen514 2 years ago 2
I think a strict Top is like a needle in a haystack, truely hard to find. In my experinces I like to test the so call top with a little tounge and 99.9% of the time the legs went straight to the ceiling faster then a bottom (Yes I am that good..lol) As for the community I see everyone is moving toward being Versitile which for many would be the best of both worlds.
parrishrturner 2 years ago 2
I agree with Parrish. Versatiles UNITE!! And yes, it's very limiting. What's up with not even being allowed to even touch their ass-cheek. Me too Xem, rimming & kissing. Those items are the bomb! ~Calvin~
sfcalvinaz 2 years ago 4
Good topic.....and most gays aint gonna come clean wit it.....but behind door.....some of those so called top be beggin to bend over....ask me how I know been there and done that......ok
chrismarc207 2 years ago
yesssssssssssss
dbones1984 2 years ago
I think that theyre are strick tops out there who have never been a bottom but they are probebly very rare and will become rarer because if your the same thing over and over again, that would just get boring wouldn't it?
TasteMe555 2 years ago
This is a really good topic, but I mean let's be real there are some guys out there that just bring up the "top" deffense, because maybe perhaps the dick is too big? lol I mean, there are people who are scared, but my biggest issue with the gay community is that what the fuck is a "downlow"? I mean why would you even want to hide your sexuality in that way, that's like being an undercover hoe, is it not? lol Tell me what you think if you have time please....
TheRay107 2 years ago
Ayo bro i saw the post on face book. As a top/vers myself i have been with a strict top. Well he was bisexual if u want to say he said that he just likes to fuck and he dont care who it is. Ive tried being a bottom within 2 seconds it just didnt work lol. But im with you in the bed i like to feel the person as a whole and me limited to just touching everything but their ass kinda kills it. But hey the same happens in reverse some bottoms dont let you touch their dick ive been there aswell
shadowx8998 2 years ago
wats in dat bottle? lol
but this was a good video..alot of good points...
JoWorkTv 2 years ago
you know i follow you on FAcebook Xem(Aj Nibbz)
Ariel215 2 years ago
BOOOOO u need to be working on your screenplay! :)
onlyoneofme7 2 years ago