Heaven Is A Commie Paradise [Chick Tract]

[SlyGuy919]

2:18 opiate, god these guys are so stupid they can't even hat coreectly

[Se7enBeatleofDoom]

Is this Chick Track set in a alternate 1970s Or is this How Jack Chick thinks people still dressed? lol At 8:51

[AresCassell]

@MBrCommentary I agree

[AresCassell]

I hate commies but religion IS the opium of the masses.

[Obasiliasfilosofos]

Jack Chick is totally mental

[douchebag666master]

Tea Party fantasy!

[Greatsocratesghost]

no true Scotsman up in dis bitch.

[gravekeepersven]

Heaven is commie paradise for real!



[oldgringo2001]

Well, Jesus is supposed to have said that camel through the eye of a needle thing, so he sort of sounds like a commie. On the other hand, "communist" leaders in the few countries left that are supposed to be Marxist seem to live pretty darn well, even better than professional Christians like the present-day popes, Jerry Falwell, Oral Roberts, Billy Graham, etc. I guess we'll all find out which side Jesus was on when he comes back.

[illinoislibertarian]

Heaven was a commie paradise? WHO KNEW?

[xtremejohnny69]

Lol very fucking funny! I mean I'm a constitutional libertaian but I'm also an atheist. Most of my friends are jesus freaks and give me these chick tracts all the time so this will be perfect to show to them

[spyroxxm]

I've always wonderd about THAT too, .. why would a perfect being who is omnicious ( that is All knowing ) need a BOOK ??

[lorenneal]

Unfortunately these evil tracts were ALL OVER the area I grew up in,,,and they were believed. They scared the shit out of me but they also got me intrigued about hippies and drugs.

[breakingthe4thwall]

I like how rednecks are communists.

[OneDayWeAreFree]

LOL nuclearnight

[groundzer077]

Yeah, it's called propaganda. Hilarious voice overs!

[MisterACanada]

The comic is some weird Pro-Christian Anti-Communist thing...

The voice along with it, lmfao...

[TheJoeyD27]

..stop being a hippy commie...lol that was funny.

[Equilibrium2037]

Why the hell would they kill all of the firefighters? And how the hell could a bunch of rebels with weapons defend the combined might of the American military, policemen, and gun owners. Wait, why I'm looking for logic in a Chick tract.

[themooddisorders]

love the Monty Python reference

[Killer0fTheSun]

Another 5 star video.

[buymycd]

The lesson is that communism only works with infinite resources.

[neosoc]

Helpful factoid:

The term "Useful idiots" is incorrectly attributed to V.I Lenin. The phrase was not found in ANY of his books, articles, essays, speeches, letters, etc. He did not look down upon Western Socialists; rather he respected revolutionaries like James Connolly, and John MacLean (who was made an honorary member of the All-Russian Congress of Soviets, as the Scottish consul).

Also, he did not make a habit of wiping out his comrades (as did Stalin).

[laflugantabastardo]

May you rest in peace, Morrakiu.

A brilliant mind was lost. My condolences to the family.

[lonelysith66]

@laflugantabastardo What?! What happened?!

[laflugantabastardo]

@lonelysith66

Nothing happened at all. It was some lame joke by a "friend" of his. Har-har.

[lonelysith66]

@laflugantabastardo OMFG, not funny!

>:(

[laflugantabastardo]

@lonelysith66

Yeah, I was ticked off as well. So was Coughlan616. :-)

[Apptendo]

I'm going to miss these!!!!! R.I.P. Morrakiu

[BobCassidy]

Hilarious! Subscribed. Gonna enjoy having a look through the rest of your vids.

[goose1212343]

@Morrakiu,

LOL we win, Canada is number 7 :)

[ItsCoreyLynxxYall]

Holy

Shit

ENCORE!!!!!

[Southparker100000000]

@buzzkillington12 Maybe u should reed the Bibal, Jesus say all cleer like, "Its easier for a rich man to get into heaven, than a camel going thru a needal" Theres yer proof rite there.

[SeverEnergia]

Comrade Gregory = Noam Chomsky amirite?

[organdva]

How about you get familiar with the ideology you are fighting against? Who is against division of labor? Is there any communist state, city or just community that didn't/don't have division of labor?

How do you explain when people are protesting and rioting against market reforms? Isn't that the obvious market failure to meet the people needs?

[JustAnotherMutant]

LOL it's ironic that a lot of Christians talk about the "godless communists", when their own holy book implies that Christianity started out as a communistic society (Acts 2:44-45, assorted supporting verses in teaching of Yeshua).

Also, how happy is the Christian in the tract going to be in heaven, knowing that his brother is going through eternal torment?

[HolyPantsMcTavish]

Either you should got a bag full of academy awards (best actor, best supporting actor, best actress...etc.) or you should up your schizophrenia meds.

Very funny, I loved it!

[RyuDarragh]

This didn't even have a logical flow (as badly tortured as Chicks usual logic is) :P

[Paxmax]

hahaaha!!!

Mr.Chick is totally off his rockers...

[3Gyro]

You gotta be fuckin' kiddin' me, Jack Chick.

[Morrakiu]

@Surhotchaperchlorome

but neither is against teh rules!

[MrXman49O]

Jesus: our favorite masochistic, drug mongering (maybe not, considering how widespread "my god(s) is/are better than yours" ways are), slavery-supporting closet communist. Too bad Republicans only like and realize the slavery-supporting part.

[unobscureness]

nuclearnight's revolution, all men must die!

[odenskrigare]

haha no True Scotsman saw that coming a mile away

[Southparker100000000]

jebus didint pedal no communism, jebus like capitilism.

[Morrakiu]

@Southparker100000000

JESUS WAS AN ANARCHO-COMMUNIST

I SAY THIS WITH APODICTIC CERTAINTY

[Southparker100000000]

@Morrakiu

you an yer fancy werds an yer ap-o-dick-tick. I dun need t reed bable to no wat jebus want.

[TheCaptainLulz]

@Southparker100000000 Yeah, especially the part where he said "SELL ALL THAT YOU OWN, GIVE IT TO THE POOR, AND FOLLOW ME". Than theres "it is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of god". Wow, what a great capitalist, especially one that throws businessmen out of the temple courtyard calling them vipers. Sure seems like a capitalist to me.

[Southparker100000000]

@TheCaptainLulz lol newfag

[TheCaptainLulz]

@Southparker100000000 that was for the christfags who vote republican.

[TheDUDE101GOOD]

@Southparker100000000 did jeebus go around tellin ppl to go and make as much money as you can and screw ppl over??thatscapitlleeeism

[LongHairedLoser]

If heaven was a anarcho communist place then it wouldn't be that bad. Sadly if heaven did exist it would be like an endless stalinist Russia with an even worse and immortal dictator in charge of it.

[AuntieDill]

Is this a really really old one? Unless he frequently features people being hung, I'm sure this is the shit I found in a christian book shop when I was 13, which hell upset me. I remember the box being kicked out from under the guy. Horrendous, disgusting and overwhelmingly stupid. But your rendition was brilliant - accents superb.

[lorenneal]

@AuntieDill YES it is the same one. O grew up with this stupid ass shit about 40 years ago in Redneck Country (Missouri)

[percheron1654]

I don't know whats worse; The fact that I laughed so hard, or the fact that some people actually believe this shit.

[Morrakiu]

@percheron1654

>I don't know whats worse; The fact that I laughed so hard

why on earth would lulz be bad?

¯\(°_o)/¯

[alexandervlad]

@Morrakiu Perhaps he laughed si hard he shit himself

[ChurchOfArceus]

@Morrakiu - For the evulz... the only reason anyone does anything! :D

[junosden]

Haha, this was great. I especially liked the jab at Grimace (NuclearNight)

[Morrakiu]

@junosden

All men must die!

[FlowCell]

What the fuck is that at the end? LOL.

[1000g2g3g4g800999]

Is it just me, or is Steve Jobs in this comic under the alias "Comrade Gregory"? Also, the M1 Abrams Tank has never had its armor penetrated by anything. Ever. The massive and highly funded US military hacks. The revolutionaries should have gotten roflstomped.

[lorenneal]

@1000g2g3g4g800999 It couldnt be Steve Jobs because he was vurtually unkown when this tracy came out,,, plus Chick wouldn't have been that subtle on ANYTHING

[lorenneal]

@1000g2g3g4g800999 It couldn't have been Steve Jobs becuse this trackt was written WAY before anyone had even thought of a computer @ home. Besides Jack Chick could never have been that subtle about ANYTHING!!

[eyhexs]

oh man, i better start believing that jesus fellow is real or ill be toast when the revolutionists take over

[AntiCitizenX]

One word: ROFLMAO!

[charkopolis]

@AntiCitizenX That's not a word, it's an abbreviation. But, point taken just the same :p

[PT109Boat]

I want to be a Constitutional Republican. Where do I sign?

What do you mean that I have to give my brain as a deposit?

[eagleeye1975]

LOL, brilliant. :)

[UberUberLegend91]

This Chick guy has some issues.

[BlackFlagFamily]

Oh how I love you and hate you at the same time. Lol. I find these hilarious, partly because of narraration and your spin on them, and partly because these are actual tracts. I can't believe someone would make this shit. However, I'm still a lefty, commie, marxist, socialist, bastard... who wishes we could have absolute freedom, but knows the paradox of freedom AND equality. ;) Kindest Regards.

[asperin]

This one was loaded with lulz! Nice one comrade! xD

[moviemakercool]

BIble warning: "If you kick a motherfucker down the stairs and he believes in Jesus....your dead" hahahahaha

[DraggyTheDragon]

I have no idea why the hell I enjoy these tracts. Either I just like how fucking surreal Chick's senile dementia is, or I'm a mental masochist.

NO TRUE SCOTSMAN UP IN DIS BITCH.

[HellsCowBoy666]

These comics annoy me to no end. Making atheist look like cunts and making religious people look like victims. Their are no victims except those hurt by people and religions. Watch Bill Maher's "religion doesn't hurt anyone" video

[blackacidlizzard]

@HellsCowBoy666

I always thought these tracts made born-agains look like cunts and their god look like the biggest asshole in the universe.

[HellsCowBoy666]

@blackacidlizzard we are all cunts in our own cunty ways. These things are so retarded. The one about gays made the christan punk (CONTRADICTION) look like a douch but them made his fundi family members look so fucking righteous. Maybe I'm too much of a pessimist to see any good in this fucking world but they make me sick. We don't need religion. It's useless for the modern age. I'll stick with the guy who changes with new evidence not the guy who's been the same for the last 2000+ years.

[blackacidlizzard]

@HellsCowBoy666

"I'll stick with the guy who changes with new evidence"

I will as well (at least until said guy fails to make a change or a justification for a lack of one which seems needed from my vantage point)

[HellsCowBoy666]

@blackacidlizzard I agree 100%

[ChurchOfArceus]

@blackacidlizzard - Once a kid passed out a bunch of Chick Tracts in home room. My friends and I thought they were hilarious, so we asked for one of every copy. The kid thought he was actually "getting through" to us. xD The next day, they were confiscated, but we swiped some from the office anyway, went home, and laughed our asses off at how much of an asshole God is in the Bible.

[ChurchOfArceus]

@blackacidlizzard - Yeah, in Chick's most recent tract, one of the angels acts like a total dick. Like, "YOU AIN'T GOT NO RIGHTS LAWLAWLAWLZ!"

[LagMasterSam]

LMAO! "That's right, no true Scotsman up in this bitch."

[EscApiNgTheVoiD]

This is crazy, Thanx for this!!!!

[johngeetar]

You seriously... are FUCKING amazing. Don't stop making these videos. I just can't get enough man.

[freedom0speech]

"With Jesus, in his communist paradise"

Nice one!

[Morrakiu]

@freedom0speech

No scarcity of resources. No need for trade. No capitalists. No poverty. No conflict. No dissent. Only happiness.

All centrally-planned by Jesus.

Heaven is the ultimate communist paradise.

[freedom0speech]

@Morrakiu

Jesus’ communism starts on earth. No possessions, living in a hippie commune, etc.

[CraniumOnEmpty]

"Bible warning: if you kick a MF down the stairs and he believes in Jesus - your dead." That was hilarious. The whole thing was... Wow, those chick tracks have never been more entertaining. Stop being a fuckin' hippie commie! ;p

[goose1212343]

Morrakiu, would you rather live in a secular leftist society, or a right-wing religious society?

[Morrakiu]

@goose1212343

You've asked a similar question before, although the terms used in this one are more ambiguous. If the dichotomy is the same as before (high economic freedom and low personal freedom vs. low economic freedom and high personal freedom), then I choose the society with higher economic freedom.

But it doesn't break down that way IRL. As far as markets go, social democracies have some of the freest, with strong private property rights.

The index of economic freedom ranks the U.S. #8.

[Morrakiu]

@Morrakiu

Actually, it looks like religiosity is inversely correlated with economic freedom on that index.

[MOONDOGGIESWTF]

1:02 lol

[TheRichDarkEarth]

"Fuck you division of labour! We don't need your bullshit!" Gold.

[kayman92]

how big was this revolutionary group and how was no one keeping tabs on it?

[Morrakiu]

@kayman92

Nothing makes sense in Jack Chick's world.

[Apptendo]

@Morrakiu Ya, God actually exists

[progrockcoffee]

SIC SEMPER HIPPIEUS.

[atheistworstenemy]

Would be better if it weren't so abundantly clear that you use "free market" in the brainwashed libertarian/austrian school (the creationism of economics) sense.

[carlcartman]

Ivan Stang said it the best: "People collect Jack Chick tracts the same way people collect pornography-- and for the same reason."

I kept looking for the "Haw haw!" Most Chick tracts have someone saying "Haw haw!"

[BloodiCheeseCake]

Awesome.

[InsurgenistCujo]

"This is NuclearNight's revolution!"

LOL

[Jimb0can]

The Alex Jones references, Ray Comfort joke, and the Monty Python bit made me get the lulz :D

[Morrakiu]

@Jimb0can

haaaaave yoooou eeeeeevaaah toooold aaaa loooooyyy?

[Jimb0can]

@Morrakiu LOL!!

[gir908922]

"That's right! No True Scotsman in this bitch!"

LMFAO!! One of my favorite lines so far! XD

[spuddy83]

Fucking commies rule. Take that fucking god hippie.

[Apptendo]

@spuddy83 No, All of you fucking suck.

[themooddisorders]

I've been waiting for a new Chick tract! Thanks!

[ZullGostnu2]

um, this is bizarre. Is someone really making these comics for someone to read? Talk about paranoia.

[atheistworstenemy]

@ZullGostnu2 Jack Chick does. He's super intelligent and fabulous.

[ZullGostnu2]

@atheistworstenemy I guess I have a different definition for intelligent and fabulous. Jack Chick sees a different reality than I do.

[allianceofdemons]

9:55 ah man! You could have used a much more lulzy image for that one. 4chan has so many

[lonelysith66]

Mothy Python FTW!