Well spoken Dr. Vaknin, I've been trying to let go now for over a month, and this is the hardest phase. I've done all I can to get over it quicker, but nothing is working still. I will have to accept it one day soon and get rid of this sadness buried deep down. Things were great in the beginning, although I always saw the red flags. I must move on and heal properly. Thanks for sharing. You truly do understand this and are very talented.
A young narcissistic chiropractor. befriended me and then molested me one day out of the blue. Earlier he asked me to be his financial mentor - gaining my trust. I was in shock because I am 30 yrs older than he. After his repeated contacts requesting a fresh start, I informed the owners of the practice and he was fired. I am now entering the acceptance phase and getting stronger each day. Previously I didn't know about narcissists. Recovery takes a long time. Thank you for your vids.
So true. I never thought mine was smarter than me though. I felt bad for him for being socially retarded. But I totally am going through the four stages. Mine is ignoring me, while not letting me know what his plans are, so I have 2 kids, no money, and he's contacted everyone I know taking half truths and using lies, trying to turn them against me. My own mother, my Dr... This is after completely humiliating me and embarrassing me of course first. Nightmare. those who don't know can't imagine.
The victim grieves the loss of a dream not a lie. A person's dream that comes true without having to resort to hard work, is one of the best ways a narcissist will entrap you. It opens a dark hole for the person who becomes dependable on the narcissist to complete that dream primilarly because the victim allows it to happen after being persuaded!
@graceneverending yes dear we all do, but try to get over it one way or another. You can stay in the angry stage or slowly move on and completely dissassociate from your abuser and his friends and his family. NO CONTACT Period
Very helpful! Last year I removed myself from an NPD situation. The NPD I fled gave a 'heart felt' apology. I fell for it and realized in a later phone 'attack' it was BS. The time away made me see that it wasn't 'ME' but I felt crazy stupid for having compassion love for this person. Your videos have shown me 'my part' and that in order to be 'safe healthy' no contact can be had.Thank you for your guidance--I seriously felt crazy during this relationship as I gave heaps at my own expense.
@Riversleigh1 you're probably one yourself! lol when one is in close relationship with somebody they TRUST. NR are REALLY good at pretending too and I dare you to spot one as a liar if you're not one. It is normal to feel wounded when someone close to you betrayed your trust. still it's the seemingly "tough" (and really just scared) guys like you who deserve pitty since they are the once who are deprived of one of the most amazing experiences on earth - feeling loved and cared for... So sad...
@Riversleigh1 you're probably one yourself! lol when one is in close relationship with somebody they TRUST. NR are REALLY good at pretending too and I dare you to spot one as a liar if you're not one. It is normal to feel wounded when someone close to you betrayed your trust. still it's the seemingly "tough" (and really just scared) guys like you who deserve pitty: they are the once who are deprived of one of the most amazing experiences on Earth - feeling loved and cared for... So sad...
@Riversleigh1 you're probably one yourself! lol when one is in close relationship with somebody they TRUST. NR are REALLY good at pretending too and I dare you to spot one as a liar if you're not one. It is normal to feel wounded when someone close to you betrayed your trust. still it's the seemingly "tough" (and really just scared) guys like you who deserve pitty since they are the once who are deprived of one of the most amazing experiences on Earth - feeling loved and cared for... So sad...
@Riversleigh1 you're probably one yourself! lol when one is in close relationship with somebody they TRUST. NR are REALLY good at pretending too and I dare you to spot one as a liar if you're not one. It is normal to feel wounded when someone close to you betrayed your trust. still it's the seemingly "tough" (and really just scared) guys like you who deserve pitty: they are the once who are deprived of one of the most amazing experiences on Earth - feeling loved and cared for... So sad...
@Riversleigh1 that iS what they are grieving for, their individual Love hologram. The problem is, 'Love' is become humiliation, shame, etc etc... . Impossible to trust 'Love' again. Anyone new offering creates a massive internal [self]defense, even if genuine. Effectively Narcs have killed the bestest, innocently true loving part of your identity.They locust-ed it. Woken: 'Love' is never offered, or accepted the same again; ultimately everyone pays.
@Riversleigh1 Have you been in a relationship with a Narc? The griever is coping with a loss. It may be a loss of a lie, a facade, or a false sense of understanding. But the loss is very real. It is very painful. Don't victimize the victim.
So what's the difference between the common criminal, asshole, and the narcissists? I find it hard to believe that narcissists make up such a small portion of the population. I think feeling people of with the Meyers Briggs Feelers compared Censers take up less of the population. As an INFP, I feel these none feeling none emotional left brained assailants are in the majority, and I fear you feel the same way, but you just don't express it. If this is so I am in the minority and the 1 disordered.
@HEIBAOSHEN I'm sorry I meant with 'left brained assailants are in the majority' as minority. I understand that the MBP simulator isn't exactly scientific but still offers be a template of understanding empathetic and none feelers. I find every corner I turn people who would rather win egotistical points, exact gossip and pain for the sake of conformity. At least a narcissist will offer a dream life in comparison to the cold insulting reality normal imposed conformity normals stab us with daily.
... it hurts so much, when you realize that you were just one of many forms of NS (narcissistic supply)... you are human, with real feelings, a heart ... yet to them, you are truly no different than any other form of NS ... it is true, you are nothing more than a disposable object... when they realize you will not give them what they want any more.
Thank you so much for your work in this area. For me, it actually took a relationship with ANOTHER narcissist to give me the courage to break away and then I had to come to the realization that this was just another face of the former. It took something as dramatic as leaving the country to finally break this tie and allow my ex to show his true colors. The mourning process was a bit baffling to me but hearing it now it makes perfect sense, ending two narcissistic relationships simultaneously.
I had been weening off my ex for about a year in a half but when he finally told me that he had a new girlfriend all hell broke lose in me and I felt every emotion you just described unfortunately. Well, with some time, things are much better and it was the best gift I could give myself that it is completely over and I am not looking back. It was definitely a life learning experience and I rather be alone than in bad company. Yes, there is life after a toxic relationship. Just dig deep inside!
my nars. is whorshiping me, i left her and let her come back,She says she is sorry for all the abuse,yes i am going through grieveing process, i share a handicaps child that weilds us togethewr like glue. I in our many discussions and arguements see all the thinghs tyou have said, Listen now she says this narcisssism in me is not me! ot is the narciossim,in other words she has human quialiites but if puched into a corner the rage comes, i see also i am dealing with a 6 to 11yr old in emotions,
Well spoken Dr. Vaknin, I've been trying to let go now for over a month, and this is the hardest phase. I've done all I can to get over it quicker, but nothing is working still. I will have to accept it one day soon and get rid of this sadness buried deep down. Things were great in the beginning, although I always saw the red flags. I must move on and heal properly. Thanks for sharing. You truly do understand this and are very talented.
TheGregcole1 2 months ago
@TheGregcole1 Very true. I have posted videos about the pain narcissists can cause. All the best.
FitFabAnd40 2 months ago
A young narcissistic chiropractor. befriended me and then molested me one day out of the blue. Earlier he asked me to be his financial mentor - gaining my trust. I was in shock because I am 30 yrs older than he. After his repeated contacts requesting a fresh start, I informed the owners of the practice and he was fired. I am now entering the acceptance phase and getting stronger each day. Previously I didn't know about narcissists. Recovery takes a long time. Thank you for your vids.
Cneumann22 3 months ago
So true. I never thought mine was smarter than me though. I felt bad for him for being socially retarded. But I totally am going through the four stages. Mine is ignoring me, while not letting me know what his plans are, so I have 2 kids, no money, and he's contacted everyone I know taking half truths and using lies, trying to turn them against me. My own mother, my Dr... This is after completely humiliating me and embarrassing me of course first. Nightmare. those who don't know can't imagine.
AmandyPants 4 months ago
The victim grieves the loss of a dream not a lie. A person's dream that comes true without having to resort to hard work, is one of the best ways a narcissist will entrap you. It opens a dark hole for the person who becomes dependable on the narcissist to complete that dream primilarly because the victim allows it to happen after being persuaded!
DrmCom2003 6 months ago 2
Comment removed
DrmCom2003 6 months ago
@graceneverending yes dear we all do, but try to get over it one way or another. You can stay in the angry stage or slowly move on and completely dissassociate from your abuser and his friends and his family. NO CONTACT Period
stillstrong55 7 months ago 4
Very helpful! Last year I removed myself from an NPD situation. The NPD I fled gave a 'heart felt' apology. I fell for it and realized in a later phone 'attack' it was BS. The time away made me see that it wasn't 'ME' but I felt crazy stupid for having compassion love for this person. Your videos have shown me 'my part' and that in order to be 'safe healthy' no contact can be had.Thank you for your guidance--I seriously felt crazy during this relationship as I gave heaps at my own expense.
ANANTASky 7 months ago 7
I don't feel sorry for people grieving for narcs, because what they are really grieving for is the lie the narc sold. Wake up
Riversleigh1 10 months ago 43
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@Riversleigh1 you're probably one yourself! lol when one is in close relationship with somebody they TRUST. NR are REALLY good at pretending too and I dare you to spot one as a liar if you're not one. It is normal to feel wounded when someone close to you betrayed your trust. still it's the seemingly "tough" (and really just scared) guys like you who deserve pitty since they are the once who are deprived of one of the most amazing experiences on earth - feeling loved and cared for... So sad...
MsCheburashki 8 months ago
This has been flagged as spam show
@Riversleigh1 you're probably one yourself! lol when one is in close relationship with somebody they TRUST. NR are REALLY good at pretending too and I dare you to spot one as a liar if you're not one. It is normal to feel wounded when someone close to you betrayed your trust. still it's the seemingly "tough" (and really just scared) guys like you who deserve pitty: they are the once who are deprived of one of the most amazing experiences on Earth - feeling loved and cared for... So sad...
MsCheburashki 8 months ago
@Riversleigh1 you're probably one yourself! lol when one is in close relationship with somebody they TRUST. NR are REALLY good at pretending too and I dare you to spot one as a liar if you're not one. It is normal to feel wounded when someone close to you betrayed your trust. still it's the seemingly "tough" (and really just scared) guys like you who deserve pitty since they are the once who are deprived of one of the most amazing experiences on Earth - feeling loved and cared for... So sad...
MsCheburashki 8 months ago
This has been flagged as spam show
@Riversleigh1 you're probably one yourself! lol when one is in close relationship with somebody they TRUST. NR are REALLY good at pretending too and I dare you to spot one as a liar if you're not one. It is normal to feel wounded when someone close to you betrayed your trust. still it's the seemingly "tough" (and really just scared) guys like you who deserve pitty: they are the once who are deprived of one of the most amazing experiences on Earth - feeling loved and cared for... So sad...
MsCheburashki 8 months ago
@Riversleigh1 that iS what they are grieving for, their individual Love hologram. The problem is, 'Love' is become humiliation, shame, etc etc... . Impossible to trust 'Love' again. Anyone new offering creates a massive internal [self]defense, even if genuine. Effectively Narcs have killed the bestest, innocently true loving part of your identity.They locust-ed it. Woken: 'Love' is never offered, or accepted the same again; ultimately everyone pays.
And so the world is.
tvdropout 7 months ago 6
@Riversleigh1 Obviously you have never lived with a Narcissist
stillstrong55 7 months ago 3
@Riversleigh1 Have you been in a relationship with a Narc? The griever is coping with a loss. It may be a loss of a lie, a facade, or a false sense of understanding. But the loss is very real. It is very painful. Don't victimize the victim.
MediahUnleashed 7 months ago 4
@Riversleigh1 Sounds like you know---who is asking you to feal sorry for them?...did you watch the video and listen?
amylyatube 3 months ago
This has been flagged as spam show
@Riversleigh1 Sounds like you know---who is asking you to feel sorry for them?...did you watch the video and listen?
amylyatube 3 months ago
So what's the difference between the common criminal, asshole, and the narcissists? I find it hard to believe that narcissists make up such a small portion of the population. I think feeling people of with the Meyers Briggs Feelers compared Censers take up less of the population. As an INFP, I feel these none feeling none emotional left brained assailants are in the majority, and I fear you feel the same way, but you just don't express it. If this is so I am in the minority and the 1 disordered.
HEIBAOSHEN 10 months ago
@HEIBAOSHEN I'm sorry I meant with 'left brained assailants are in the majority' as minority. I understand that the MBP simulator isn't exactly scientific but still offers be a template of understanding empathetic and none feelers. I find every corner I turn people who would rather win egotistical points, exact gossip and pain for the sake of conformity. At least a narcissist will offer a dream life in comparison to the cold insulting reality normal imposed conformity normals stab us with daily.
HEIBAOSHEN 10 months ago
Yeah, that's how it went down. Just like that.
cozyfoxstudio 11 months ago
Sam,
Sincere thanks, keep up the good work
You're a star
x
teampidgesparents 1 year ago 11
your are truly amazing! You have made me see the light!
jersadidas 1 year ago 6
... it hurts so much, when you realize that you were just one of many forms of NS (narcissistic supply)... you are human, with real feelings, a heart ... yet to them, you are truly no different than any other form of NS ... it is true, you are nothing more than a disposable object... when they realize you will not give them what they want any more.
CeltsClaire 1 year ago 28
@CeltsClaire Yes, especially when it is your parents.
TheAfroQween 5 months ago in playlist More videos from samvaknin
Thank you sincerely! More love!
molinmusic 1 year ago 5
Thank you so much for your work in this area. For me, it actually took a relationship with ANOTHER narcissist to give me the courage to break away and then I had to come to the realization that this was just another face of the former. It took something as dramatic as leaving the country to finally break this tie and allow my ex to show his true colors. The mourning process was a bit baffling to me but hearing it now it makes perfect sense, ending two narcissistic relationships simultaneously.
yahwehslilgirl 1 year ago 5
I had been weening off my ex for about a year in a half but when he finally told me that he had a new girlfriend all hell broke lose in me and I felt every emotion you just described unfortunately. Well, with some time, things are much better and it was the best gift I could give myself that it is completely over and I am not looking back. It was definitely a life learning experience and I rather be alone than in bad company. Yes, there is life after a toxic relationship. Just dig deep inside!
bgrant1999 1 year ago 3
my nars. is whorshiping me, i left her and let her come back,She says she is sorry for all the abuse,yes i am going through grieveing process, i share a handicaps child that weilds us togethewr like glue. I in our many discussions and arguements see all the thinghs tyou have said, Listen now she says this narcisssism in me is not me! ot is the narciossim,in other words she has human quialiites but if puched into a corner the rage comes, i see also i am dealing with a 6 to 11yr old in emotions,
59Disciple 1 year ago